Plus, I know they're super deathly and all that, but the death of Naruto Uzumaki wouldn't make this all that funny. :( Sorry if it sounds super ridiculous...

Enjoy!

"Leader-sama. May we come in?"

"Enter."

All nine of the Akatsuki filed into Pein's office, hanging their heads.

"Well? How did it go?" He asked, looking up from his desk.

Itachi spoke up first, looking emotionless as always.

"The Kyuubi got away."

"...What?" Pein almost whispered.

"It got away. We tried to use our best ninjutsu, but they clashed. We ended up attacking each other..."

"WHAT?!" He repeated, standing up from his seat. "The nine-tails almost willingly WALKS INTO OUR MIDST, and you let it GET AWAY?!"

The Akatsuki were silent.

"I can't believe this! Nine S-rank criminals couldn't take down a 12-year-old boy?!"

"He possesses extraordinary powers." Konan jumped in.

"Aw, Konan! Lying is bad! Tobi thinks you should tell the truth! Kyuubi only had one jutsu, RASENGAN! And it didn't even work right! First, Hidan starts off trying to take blood from the boy, but scratches Kakuzu instead! He stabbed Kakuzu in the leg before he knew what was going on! Then, Kakuzu tries to stop Hidan from more stabbing, but his stictches intercepted Deidara-sempai's spidery bombs! Then... They exploded. Deidara-sempai said he was almost out of clay, so he made another bomb with the last of it, and chucked it at the Kyuubi. But he threw it too hard! And it exploded all over Sasori-sempai's third Kazekage puppet! He couldn't attack for a while, and Itachi tried to place a powerful genjutsu... But Tobi was in the way... Eheheh...But Kisame tried a shark bomb! Except... Konan was running in front of him, and it drenched her! Since she was wet, she couldn't turn into paper or fly very well! Since everyone had already wasted their chakra on their best attacks, or was too dazed to fight, the Kyuubi ran away!"

Pein twitched with anger. He had THOUGHT that he had the most powerful ninja in all the land, but they let a little boy get away?!

"Wow, Tobi, that sums it all up, hmm... BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY ALL THAT IN FRONT OF LEADER, hmm?!"

"Aah! Don't yell at Tobi! Hidan started it!"

"No, it was Kakuzu that got in the f*cking way! Dipshit, this is all your fault!"

"EXCUSE me?! You're the one who took my blood on accident! I couldn't move my leg OR my stitches because of you and Deidara!"

"Don't blame me, hmm! That's what happens when you touch my bombs!"

''Too bad your aim is so terrible, you didn't even graze the Kyuubi." Sasori said bitterly.

"It was an accident, my man! Sorry, just forget it!"

"FORGET IT?! You better be grateful that your sorry-ass bombs didn't explode Hiruko, or I'd kill you!"

"HA! As if! My art is stronger than yours, hmm!"

"Guys... We shouldn't be fighti-" Itachi was cut off.

"Stay out of this, Itachi! You can't understand TRUE ART, hmm!"

"Fine, suit yourself."

"I can't believe that you cast a genjutsu on TOBI! Your aim is worse than Deidara's!" Kisame elbowed Itachi with a laugh.

Itachi stood quietly, not saying a word.

"I know! Except that genjutsu was not very fun for Tobi! Good thing Tobi knows how to release chakra because Tobi's A GOOD BOY!"

"I didn't even do anything." Zetsu said.

"Yeah, because you're kinda worthless!" Kisame yelled.

A vein bulged in Zetsu's forehead. "You hit Konan with your dumb shark bomb!"

''It's not dumb! It did some serious damage!"

"To the wrong person, IDIOT!"

"That's it. I'll show you how powerful my Shark Bomb really is!" Kisame made a few hand signs, and a flying blue shark appeared out of nowhere, charging towards Zetsu.

Zetsu sank into the ground, barely missing the bomb. But it kept on swimming through the air, and hit Hidan all the way across the room.

"DAMMIT, KISAME! JASHIN WILL GET SUSHI TONIGHT!" Hidan whipped his scythe out from behind his back.

"My leg is still injured... but I can move most of my stitches... Hidan! Stop your useless whining!" A forest of stitches shot out from Kakuzu's back, and wiggled around like snakes.

The stitches grabbed Hidan's scythe from him. "WHAT THE F*CK, KAKUZU?! GIVE IT BACK!"

Kakuzu was swinging it around, trying to keep it away from Hidan, when it hit Konan in the face.

"You're going to pay for that," She growled.

She instantly grew wings made of scraps of paper, and flew up into the air, rapidly firing paper projectiles at everyone below her.

"KONAN! That's not funny, HMM!" He quickly molded a tiny spider bomb, and threw it at Konan. She barely dodged it, and the bomb fell straight at Sasori's feet.

"NOW YOU'VE DONE IT!" He raged, pulling a large puppet out of nowhere.

The puppet lunged forward, and started battering Deidara in a flurry of arms and legs.

"AAH! NO, Sempai!" Tobi leapt at the puppet and tried to fend it off.

"I need to stop them..." Itachi's eye bled as he activated his Mangekyo Sharingan.

The Akatsuki was a mess. They were all attacking each other so wildly. Chunks of wall and ceiling flew everywhere, and the air was filled with yelling and screaming.

"ENOUGH!" Pein boomed. "ALMIGHTY PUSH!"

The blast forced the fighting people to fly backwards and crash into the wall behind them.

Pein was breathing heavily as he said, "Akatsuki! Our main goal cannot be reached if we are fighting among ourselves rather than the enemy! Look at you! You're beating up your teammates, here! We need to help our teamwork, otherwise we will NEVER be able to catch all the jinchuuriki!"

"But, leader-sama, there is nothing wrong with our tea-"

Tobi was cut off by the loud crash of breaking wood. Pein had just smashed his desk in half.

"F*cking anger management problems..." Hidan muttered.

"L-Leader-sama!" Deidara said as he pointed.

There was a giant hole where the desk should have been. Pein peered inside, seeing that there was a glowing figure down there.

"Akatsuki." He jumped into the hole, with the other ninja wordlessly following him.

The 10 ninjas stared in awe at the thing before them. It was a large standing mirror, edged in silver.

"What?" Kisame said as he cocked his head.

"That's funny. I can't see my reflection in it, hmm."

"You're right." Pein narrowed his eyes as he stared at the mirror.

This is not an ordinary mirror, that's for sure. But what if it's just a chunk of glass? No, you would still be able to see your reflection in it. And why is it so meticulously created? Someone definitely took the time to carve little symbols around the silver edges... I need to make sure that this is safe.

"Release your chakra."

The Akatsuki clapped their hands together and released their chakra, but nothing happened.

"That means this is not genjutsu." Itachi said.

"Yes... Tobi."

Tobi perked up. "Yes, Leader-sama?"

"Touch it."

"Eh...?"

"TOUCH IT."

"Okay."

He stepped forward, moving in front of Pein. With no hesitation, he poked the surface of the mirror.

His gloved finger slid right through, and didn't appear out the other side.

"Ooh...That feels tingly... Tobi likes..."

The ninjas could hear Konan gasp quietly. "I-it's... A portal?"

"I've never seen anything like this... Is this a jutsu?"

"It could be worth a lot. We should SELL IT!"

"Kakuzu, you miserable miser, can't you stop thinking about your damn money for one f*cking second?!"

"SILENCE." Pein started to think.

If this portal leads to an alternate dimension... We will HAVE to work together to survive. No, what if we die going through this? I'm ready to try anything... This is the fifth time the Kyuubi has gotten away!

"Alright. We are going to enter this 'portal', because you all KNOW that we need to work on our teamwork. If teamwork is our only chance of survival in wherever the portal takes us, so be it. Our organization will never achieve its full potential if we are constantly fighting."

"The great leader, making a f*cking speech... Hypocrite, he doesn't even f*cking help us." Hidan muttered to himself.

"That's because I'd rather keep all my blood, Hidan." Pein said, obviously he had heard.

He backed up, and paused. Then, Pein charged at the mirror, and disappeared into it with a poof.

"Gah... Do we really have to do this...?" Hidan grumbled.

"Leader's orders, dumbass." Kakuzu retorted.

One by one, the Akatsuki members entered the portal.

"I don't really want to go in there." Konan said, frowning.

"Come on. I bet Pein and the others are waiting." Itachi said.

"But...Huff. Fine. Might as well get this over with.''

Itachi nodded as Konan ran straight into the mirror.

She immediately bolted out the other side. Still charging, she knocked Pein over in a crash of arms and legs.

Konan squirmed, trying to get off of Pein, when she brushed something feathery. Was that his hair? No, his head was way above her. What was she touching?

"WE'RE ALL F*CKING PONIES!"

Hidan's ear-splitting yell snapped Konan out of her little daze.

The girl flew off him in a flash, and looked back at her leader.

He was indeed, a PONY.

"Leader-sama! You ARE a pony!"

"So are you."

Pein had pale white fur and a short, messy mane the color of orange sorbet. He still had his distinct ringed lavender eyes, except they were wide and almost sparkled. Black piercings still stuck out of the sides of his nose, or muzzle, and at the tips of his now pointy ears. On his left flank, the area above his back leg, there was an Amegakure symbol with a slash through it, similar to the symbol on his forehead protector. Long, angel-like wings sprouted from his back, and a horn stuck out of his forehead.

Konan had similar wings and the same white horn, except her mane was a royal blue. It had her signature paper flower stuck in it. She had large, twinkling amber eyes and striking eyelashes. The symbol on her flank was a white rose, like the one on her mane. Konan's tail was long, and flowed like water.

This is kind of heavy, She thought.

Looking at her other teammates, she could see they had transformed as well.

Itachi's fur was black as night, but his mane still had that hard sheen to it. A black horn poked out from his forehead, but he had no wings. Eyes still blood-red with three commas in them, and mane still tied into a long ponytail, he was easily recognizable. His flank symbol was a Sharingan.

Zetsu, standing right next to Itachi, was a unicorn as well. He still had a white and black side, plus his green Venus-Flytrap like extensions at his neck. Even as a pony, Zetsu's teeth stayed frighteningly sharp. An intricate little plant was the symbol on his flank.

Kakuzu looked quite scary. His legs were covered in slashes and stitches, and his fur was a dark, murky mocha. The black mask he normally wore was stil on his lower face, but his mane hung around him in a limp black mess with a horn protruding out from was a green dollar sign on his flank.

Kisame still had his creepy eyes and gills. He was a light blue unicorn with a cropped cobalt mane and tail. Samehada, his giant sword, still rested on his back. Kisame's flank symbol was a shark.

Deidara had a long blonde mane, with a little hank of hair covering his eye. A yellow horn poked out of his hair to match his fur color. If he lifted his hooves, you could still see two mouths on them. A little C-3 bomb symbol was on his flank.

Sasori was a little smaller than the other members of the Akatsuki. He had the same wild red hair and soft, almost lazy brown eyes. He was also a light mocha color, and so was his horn. His little flank mark was the head of his puppet Hiruko.

Tobi, a black unicorn, still had his signature swirly orange mask over his face. You could only see his short little tail and scruffy mane. The symbol on his flank was a little picture of his mask.

Lastly, Hidan was a pale white unicorn with a slicked-back white mane and a long tail. His eyes were still a violent shade of magenta, and a Jashin chain hung from his neck. The marking on his flank was the symbol of Jashin, a circle with a triangle inside of it.

"We all look really f*cked up."

Pein sighed. "Come on, we need to move. I am not allowing any of you to go back into the portal."

With much grumbling, the Akatsuki ponies followed their leader in silence.

"Wow, Leader-sama! Tobi really likes your wings! Tobi wishes he had some too!"

He was ignored.

Soon, the 10 ponies came across a little town.

There were two ponies decked out in gold and silver armor standing at the front entryway, probably guarding.

As soon as Pein walked up to them, they bent their front legs in a humble bow.

That's odd... Eh. I can get used to it.

Pein walked past the guards, emotionless, Konan and the rest of the Akatsuki trailing behind.

"Wow!''

"They don't look familiar..."

"That red-eyed stallion is cute!"

"Jeez, did you see the piercings on that Alicorn?"

The town was buzzing with whispers as the pony-ninjas strutted through the town.

"Pein..."

"Hm, Konan?"

"Why are they looking at us like that?"

"You should be used to it by now. People look at us like that all time."

"No... They don't seem to be scared of us..."

Pein looked at all the chattering ponies around him. They were smiling! Normally, people would be shaking in fear by now!

Pein was lost in thought until a shrill voice cut his thoughts in half.

"OOH! ROYALTY FROM ANOTHER PART OF EQUESTRIA! YAY, TIME FOR A PARTY!"

Yay.

I hope the part where I describe them isn't too boring. But I wanted to paint a good picture.

That's it for now! Review if you want!

More is yet to come

2. Housing

3 reviews ALREADY?! On my other story, Not an average high school year, it took me weeks to get that amount of reviews.

You readers are awesome! Thanks so much! :D

Sorry it took so long, but enjoy!

"OOH! ROYALTY FROM ANOTHER PART OF EQUESTRIA! YAY, TIME FOR A PARTY!"

Peins eyes widened as he watched a little pony bounce around him.

Konan stared incredulously at the hyper figure, and she could hear Hidan muttering, 'JASHIN HELP ME, IT'S A F*CKING DEMON'.

Kisame's face was all scrunched up, like he had eaten a nasty burrito, but Itachi looked like he normally did.

Kakuzu put a hoof over his eyes.

Deidara and Sasori were getting dizzy from watching it, and Tobi was probably smiling under his mask.

Zetsu just licked his lips.

This pony was a bubblegum pink, and her mane and tail looked puffier than a bush. The eyes of the pony were electric blue, and they seemed to glow with excitement. There were three balloons, two blue and one yellow, and a little confetti as her flank symbol.

"I'M SO EXCITED! AHAAA!" Pinkie squealed happily.

"HAVE A PIE!" She dragged 4 fresh-baked pies out of nowhere, and presented them to Pein and Konan.

They opened their mouths to speak, but she had already moved on to something else.

Wheeling over a small blue cannon with magenta wheels, she aimed it at the Akatsuki.

"AKATSUKI! STAY BACK! SHE HAS A CANNON!" Pein yelled.

The pink pony laughed. "It's a fun cannon! I call it my PARTY CANNON!"

With that, she fired it into the air. Bracing themselves for a barrage of balls and bombs, the ninja-ponies crouched down low.

But, bombs didn't come. The only thing that escaped the pony's cannon were colorful streamers and confetti.

"Is she serious...?" Kakuzu said in awe, his mouth probably hanging open behind his mask.

Konan nonchalantly walked up to the giggling pink pony.

"Who are you?"

"I'm PINKIE PIE, and I love PARTIES, your majesty!" She finished her sentence with a loud squeal.

Cringing from the noise, Konan spoke up again. "Wait... Your majesty?"

"YES!" Pinkie pie smiled widely. "You're an alicorn! All alicorns are princesses and princes of Equestria!"

"Excuse me, I'm a what?"

"An ALICORN! You have both wings and a horn! Usually, ponies have only one, wings or horns. Or none, like me! The earth ponies-which I am- have neither. Unicorns have horns and Pegasi have wings!"

"Ah..." Konan twisted her mouth into what looked like a frown. She didn't really understand the whole concept. How did one attain both wings and a horn?

"Where are we...?"

"You're in PONYVILLE! The best city in all of Equestria!"

Konan was silent.

Equestria? That sounds very strange.

Pein stamped his hoof on the ground. "Konan. We should go."

"Yes, leader-sama."

"Leader... Sah-mah? Why do you call him that? You could just call him Prince."

"From where we come from, that is how we address our superiors." Konan turned and walked back to the group of ninja-ponies.

"Who is your superior?" Pein asked, looking over at Pinkie.

"Oh, you mean princess Celestia? She's on a trip now, but she'll be back the day after tomorrow!"

"Ah... Is there an inn we can rest at?"

"Inn? Eh... everypony has their own house already, but I'm sure my friends wouldn't mind housing ROYALTY and their advisors! Come on, COME ON! I'll take you to them!"

Pinkie hopped off down the road, disappearing from sight.

With a shrug, Pein turned and started to follow with all 9 of the Akatsuki behind.

"Whack-ass pony..." Hidan muttered.

"We're ALL whack-ass ponies." Kakuzu spat.

"Tobi is a GOOD BOY! Wait... Tobi is a pony... TOBI IS A GOOD PONY!"

"The ponies look so delicious..." Zetsu licked his bicolored lips.

"That's cannibalism, Zetsu." Itachi said with a blink.

"Maybe I should start with you!"

"Tell me, Zetsu..." Itachi said with a blood-red glare, "Do you like inextinguishable fire?"

"Fine, jeez. You don't have to be such a jerk about it."

"Wow, Zetsu, would you eat yourself?" Kisame joked.

"No, I think FISH PONY is much better!"

"Oh, you want a piece of me, I'll give you a piece, come on ya overgrown wee-"

"Silence." Pein looked over his shoulder to see the Akatsuki bickering.

They continued walking, following Pinkie Pie.

"Whack-ass leader..."

"WE'RE HERE!"

"If you could please refrain from yelli-"

"SURE THING!"

Pein sighed. Obviously, this pony had a thick skull.

"There's ten of you... Perfect! There are six of us, but Rainbow Dash lives in the sky... SO! Two of you can stay at this house, which is Fluttershy's!"

She pointed a pink hoof at the wide tree house that this pony, 'Fluttershy' lived in. It had many flowers and growths adorning its trunk, and animals ran rampant around it. Bunnies, birds, butterflies, and even chickens all lingered around Fluttershy's abode.

"YAY! Tobi loves animals!" He started running after a white rabbit, trying to catch it.

"Yes... They look quite deliciou- delightful." Zetsu said creepily.

"OH! D-don't hurt Angel!"

Tobi was grasping a white bunny by the stomach, giggling wildly.

"Tobi caught a bunny!"

"AH! G-give him back!"

Tobi turned to see a butter colored pegasus with smooth pink hair charging straight towards him.

"Angel!"

The white bunny wriggled out of Tobi's hands, and jumped into the pegasus's.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Angel!" She exclaimed, stroking the bunny's fur.

"Tobi thinks the bunny is cute!"

"Thank you! I'm Fluttershy!" The pegasus smiled, and held Angel out. "Do you want to pet him?"

"Yes!" Tobi reached out happily and patted the bunny's head several times.

"Alright. I presume you are Fluttershy?" Pein said, walking up to her.

"OH! Y-yes, your majesty..." She bowed respectfully.

Again with the bow. I could get used to this... He thought with a slight smirk.

"Could you house two members of my organization for tonight and tomorrow until your superior returns?"

Boy, that was a mouthful.

"Yes, that's okay. But... May I ask why you want to see the princess?"

"No, you may not." He said quickly.

"Aah! O-okay, I'm so sorry!" Fluttershy hung her head and flapped her feathery wings.

"At least... Not yet."

But Fluttershy was too busy groveling on the ground to hear his last sentence.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"It's alright, come on, get up."

The butter-cream pegasus got up, and flapped her wings once more.

"Zetsu, Tobi. You two stay at Fluttershy's house."

"OOH! Tobi likes this house! Thank you, leader-sama!"

Pein merely nodded.

"W-would you all like to come in for a snack?" She asked meekly.

"I'm f*cking hungry, about time we got some goddamn food to-"

"Hidan." Pein growled, his eyes glinting.

Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie winced at Hidan's vulgar language. Nobody cursed at ALL in Ponyville.

"No thank you, we must be going. Pinkie Pie, would you take us to the next... house...?"

"SURE THING!" She yelled, sparking to life.

With that, she bounced off in a different direction with Pein and the others, leaving Fluttershy, Tobi, and Zetsu at the tree house.

"HEY! Rarity, it's Pinkie Pie!"

Pinkie Pie was banging her hoof on the door of a fancy boutique. The boutique was two-tiered, and painted in pastel blue, yellow, and purple. Above the door there was a big sign with a pony on it, wearing a saddle.

"Coming!" A feminine voice sang.

As soon as Rarity opened the door, Pinkie Pie leaped at her and enveloped her in a big hug.

"Hi, Pinkie Pie!" She said, laughing.

Rarity froze as soon as she saw the Akatsuki ponies, and bent her head in respect.

Usually, people would be quivering in fear at the sight of a man with a billion piercings, a woman with paper coming out of her skin, a blue man with gills, and guy that's half black and half white with LEAVES sticking out of his neck. They must have a really strong trust system here...

Pein's eyes widened once he set eyes on her. She was a beautiful pony, with curly royal purple locks and snow-white fur. She wore light blue eye shadow to complement her deep blue eyes, and her lashes were very long. There were three aqua diamonds on her flank.

He wasn't staring for long, because a feathery white wing flapped in his face. He turned, to see Konan staring forward very blankly.

She's jealous, isn't she? He thought with a smirk. This feels surprisingly good.

"Rarity! They're royalty from another part of Equestria! But, they need to talk to Celestia, so they have to rest somewhere until she comes back. Could they rest at your place?"

"Ah! Yes, that would be lovely, they can stay, of COURSE!" She gushed. "Come in, come in!"

With that, everyone filed into the fancy building.

The inside of the boutique had a similar color scheme to the outside of it. The area was very neat, with racks of clothing and pony mannequins arranged around in an orderly fashion.

"I apologize for the mess," She said, her horn glowing with sparkling blue light. Many objects were levitating in the air, covered in the same light.

"EHH? How does she do that, hmm?! Is this a levitation jutsu?" Deidara asked.

"Ah... Well, this is just magic from my horn. But you should all know how to do it, you all have horns."

"Is it like... channeling chakra into your horn, hmm?"

She stopped. "Pardon?"

Deidara focused chakra on the tip of his horn. It was surprisingly easy, and a sparkling white aura surrounded it soon afterwards.

"Yes, that's magic. I don't know what I'd do without it!"

Rarity dashed over to a pony mannequin and measured it.

Walking up to her, Hidan put on one of his most debonair smiles.

"Hey, babe. If being sexy was a crime, you're guilty as charged." He said suggestively.

She scoffed. "That is no way to talk to a LADY." With that, Rarity pranced off to work somewhere else.

"Bitch." He grumbled.

After moving to a different station, Rarity bumped into a stallion that was with the prince and princess. She fell down on her rear with a 'thonk'.

He looked down at her, almost glaring through her with his blood-red eyes. He was a handsome stallion, with long, almost billowing shiny black hair pulled into a low pony-tail. Normally, stallions cut their manes short, but the look suited this one. His fur was black as well.

Rarity blushed. He was absolutely gorgeous, in a dark and mysterious way.

"My apologies." He said in a deep voice while lifting a hoof to help her up.

Oh, and a gentleman too.

"Thank you." She cooed, taking his hand.

Itachi merely nodded, and resumed observing Rarity's many items.

"Alright. Who will be housing in my boutique?" She asked, looking hopefully at the stallion beside her.

He was oblivious. All Uchihas made a point to ignore any women who flung themselves at them.

Pein looked at the Akatsuki-ponies. "Who wants to house here?"

"ME!" Hidan spoke up, shoving the other ninja-ponies aside.

"No, Hidan."

"What? Why the f*ck not?!"

"Because your rituals will ruin the lovely decor." Pein said.

Konan's face turned red, unhappy that Pein was giving a compliment to Rarity.

Rarity smiled. "Thank you." She turned back to Itachi. "Would you like to stay in the boutique with me?"

Batting her eyelashes innocently, she smiled. It would give her the chance to get to know the dashing black stallion better.

"Leader-sama?"

"Yes, you may stay with her, but Kisame must stay with you. I don't want to be breaking up the teams."

"Alright..." Kisame walked over to Rarity, and flashed her a wolfish smile. Almost every male in the group thought she was pretty.

Soon, they left Rarity's boutique, leaving Itachi and Kisame behind.

You could almost hear Rarity gushing, "Oh, darling, this will look great on you,".

Pinkie Pie was bouncing down a yellow dirt road, still as energetic as ever.

Soon, they all came across a giant apple orchard.

"FOOD! THANK YOU JASHIN FOR THIS F*CKING FOOD!" Hidan yelled. He ran up to a tree and tried to leap for an apple, but the tree was too tall.

"You're neva' gonna get an apple THAT way." A cowgirly voice said.

Hidan turned, to see a light orange pony with emerald eyes staring at him. A brown leather hat was perched on top of her slightly messy blonde mane. Three ripe red apples were tattooed on her flank. She had her muzzle twisted into a smirk, like she was mocking Hidan for not being able to get an apple.

"Aw, shut the f*ck up, I can manage just fine!"

She cringed. Who in the hay talks like that? He should wash his mouth out with soap!

"There's no need ta' be talkin' that way."

"WHAT DO YOU F*CKING KNOW?!"

The pony sighed. Looking at him, he seemed very angry. This stallion had a silver mane slicked back with an unhealthy amount of gel, and magenta eyes that glowed with insanity. There was a strangely demonic symbol on his flank.

"What's your cutie mark 'posed to be?"

"What?!"

"Your cutie mark?"

"What the hell is a CUTIE MARK?!"

She cocked her head. What kind of pony didn't know what a cutie mark was?!

"A cutie mark is a little markin' ya get on your flank. It symbolizes who ya' really are."

"Oh. Well, I WORSHIP JASHIN, and this is his symbol."

"Ja-shin?"

"Jashin, the EVIL GOD! We Jashinists bring utter destruction and DEATH! It is our RELIGION!" He howled dramatically.

The sky turned dark, and thunder boomed. Hidan's face was suddenly illuminated in light, from a bolt of lightning in the distance.

After the little moment was over, the skies turned back to a happy blue.

"What the f*ck was that?"

"Dramatic moments usually get accompanied by some thunder and lightnin'."

"I can live with that.''

The orange pony looked at his back. There was a red triple-bladed scythe perched on top of it.

"No WAY!"

"What now?"

"That thing on ya' back! It's amazin'!"

Hidan grinned smugly. "About f*cking time someone noticed!"

"May I?"

"No-"

She grabbed the scythe off his back, and ran off into the trees with it.

"F*CKING THIEF! GIVE MY GODDAMN SCYTHE BACK!" He charged after her, a vein pulsing in his forehead.

Pein sighed as he watched them chase each other around.

"THIS IS SO COOL!" He could hear the orange pony yelling as streams of curses came from Hidan's muzzle.

Getting a little impatient, Pein yelled, "HURRY IT UP, WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY!"

The two were still playing a wild game of chase.

"BANSHO TENIN!" Pein boomed as he held a hoof out.

Suddenly, Hidan and the other pony flew towards him out of nowhere, and crashed loudly onto the road.

"Playtime's over." He spat.

Pinkie Pie appeared, and gave a big hug to the cowgirl pony.

"HI, APPLEJACK!" She yelled happily.

Applejack responded with a nice pat on the back. ''Great to see ya, Pinkie! What can I do ya for?"

Pinkie Pie giggled. "Royalty from another part of Equestria! They need to see Celestia!"

"Celestia's outta town."

"I know! So they need a place to stay for now! Could two of them stay at your place till she comes back?"

"Sure!" Applejack eyed the small bunch of ponies. Two Alicorns, obviously royalty, and 3 unicorns behind them. Along with the potty-mouthed one.

"Alrighty then, who's staying at Sweet Apple Acres with me?"

"You can take Hidan, he's obviously taken a 'liking' to you." Pein said in a drawl.

Applejack blushed a little, but nodded.

"You will also take his partner, Kakuzu."

Kah-koo-zoo? What kind of a name is that?

A masked unicorn with mocha fur walked up to her. He had peculiar eyes, the 'whites' maroon and irises green. His mane was long and black, hanging limply from his shoulders. A green dollar sign was his cutie mark.

He's kind of scary...

Kakuzu blinked at Applejack.

"Do you make money here?" He asked.

"Yes, we sell apples and apple pastries."

"How much do you ma-"

"ALRIGHT! I think you can handle those two, Applejack! Bye!" Pinkie cut Kakuzu off, and started to bounce away.

"BYE!''

Pein shot one last glance at the two. Hidan had chopped an apple tree in half, and was contentedly biting a ripe apple, while Kakuzu was talking to Applejack about her profits.

Good riddance.

"Okay! We're at my home, SUGARCUBE CORNER!" Pinkie Pie sang.

The building looked like a giant gingerbread house. It had brown walls lined with pink and white icing. The icing twisted and turned in fancy little loops on the building, and it looked good enough to eat.

"I AM a little hungry, leader-sama..." Konan said.

"We can wait until tomorrow. Night is approaching."

Konan hung her head. Sometimes, Pein was a jerk. She secretly liked him, but that didn't stop her from getting upset when he took away her FOOD.

"Sugarcube corner is the BEST BAKERY EVER! The cupcakes are REAL WORKS OF ART!" Pinkie Pie opened the door to the shop, and bounced inside.

"Art? I'll believe it when I see it, hmm."

"You can't even SEE real art." Sasori said.

"Real art? I can see it, because I create it every day, hmm!"

"What you do is not art."

"ART IS AN EXPLOSION, HMM!"

"NO, art is eternal beauty."

Pinkie Pie jumped at them, out of nowhere. Again.

"It can be both! The art of CUPCAKES can be ETERNAL..." She pointed to a sparkling diamond cupcake behind a glass case.

"Or, it can be an EXPLOSION!" She shrieked with glee. Grabbing another cupcake, she squished it in Deidara's face, sending frosting and cake chunks flying like fireworks.

The two just stared at her.

"How about we EAT the cupcakes, hmm?"

"Why not?"

The pink pony giggled, and handed them both fancy cupcakes. Deidara's had yellow icing, and Sasori's had red.

"Would you like some pastries?" Pinkie said, turning to Konan and Pein.

"No, thank you..." Konan said, sighing. She could hear her grumbling stomach.

Pein looked over at her. She was frowning sadly, her head ducked low. He felt sorry for her, making her go a day without eating.

I'm getting soft! We're NINJA! We can go for days without food! But... She looks so miserable... Is it that time of the month- NO! Do ponies even HAVE PMS?

"We'll take a cupcake."

"Okay! It's on the house!" Pinkie pie smiled widely and bounced away to get a bag and a cupcake.

Soon, she arrived back, carrying a little brown sack.

"Here you go!"

"Thank you..." Konan's mouth watered as she smelled the delicious fragrance of the cake.

"Now, I think Twilight can house you two. She's the treehouse library a few blocks from here! Just go left on the street!" Pinkie pie pointed to the door.

"Alright." Pein and Konan turned to leave.

"She said it's on the left, right, leader-sama?"

"Yes."

They made a left turn, and came across a large, illuminated treehouse.

Suddenly, green fire burst from one of the windows.

"SPIKE! I TOLD YOU NOT TO EAT THOSE BURRITOS!"

Ahaha!

Sorry again about the wait. But this chapter is pretty long, hope it makes up for it!

I have my first day of school tomorrow, so I think I'll update every weekend.

Hope you enjoyed!

3. Crazy mornings

I checked my email first thing in the morning.

MIND. BLOWN.

I was like, 'HOOOOLY FUDGE, MORE REVIEWS AND FAVORITES?!' You guys are so awesome, it makes me so happy that you're really enjoying my story!

I bet you all were like, "HAY, I just read you- and this is CRAZY - But it was awesome - so write more maybe?"

You bet I will! Sorry about all the delay. School has taken up a lot of time. Hope the mega-chapter makes up for it.

Pein and Konan's eyes widened. Was that REALLY green fire?

Shrugging, he walked up the tree house's door and knocked three times.

It opened up to reveal a little dragon. His scales were lavender and light green, and his eyes had serpentine slits for pupils. Judging by his height, he was still a youngling.

His eyes widened in shock, but he bowed down immediately.

"Can I help you?" the dragon asked in a boyish voice.

"Um... May we see... Twilight?" Konan asked.

"Sure thing! TWILIGHT! THERE ARE PONIES HERE TO SEE YOU!"

"COMING, SPIKE!"

A purple Alicorn showed up in the door frame. She had a long indigo mane with a pink streak in it, and bangs. Her eyes were a shiny purple. A little pink star with orbs around it adorned her flank.

She was a lot smaller than Pein and Konan, roughly the same size as that Applejack pony they had passed by a few hours ago.

Twilight looked shocked as well, but she remembered her manners and bowed.

"Hello! How can I help you?"

"Well, we wish to talk to your superior... Princess Celestia... And, it has come to our attention that she is not in town. Pinkie Pie told us that we could stay with you... Is that alright?"

"OH! Yes, that's fine, come on in!''

As Pein and Konan entered, the smell of spices entered their nostrils.

"We're having a late night snack, would you like some salsa?" She asked, holding out a peculiar red mush out. It was flecked with white and green.

"What is that?"

"Salsa! It's a spicy Mexican sauce that accompanies chips, tacos, and other foods."

"Eh... No thank you."

"Okay then. Could I interest you in a churro?"

"Oh, we already got some cupcakes from... Sugarball corner."

"Ah! SugarCUBE corner! Alright!" Twilight nodded, and began to walk up a wide staircase with Pein and Konan following behind. She stopped at a room with a wooden door.

"This is my only guest room. I apologize for the size, but the bed is comfy, and there's a bathroom in there."

"That's alright."

"I'll leave you two alone. I have to make sure Spike doesn't eat any more of those spicy burritos."

"Spike... Is he your... pet?"

"No, he's my personal assistant. But you would know, I'm sure you have tons of them!"

Pein nodded, and proceeded to enter the room. It WAS small, the only furniture inside being the bed. It was a queen size, and would fit both Konan and himself.

"So..." Her cheeks turned red. "Do we sleep together?"'

"..."

What do I do?! I think she's a loyal friend of mine, and I like her...

More than I want to admit...

BUT SLEEPING TOGETHER? WHAT?!

Yes, I should, it'll be my chance to make a move.

NO! It might ruin our relationship. I like it the way it is.

Gah... CHANGE THE SUBJECT!

"Konan." He said in his low, serious voice. In his head, he was running around insanely, screaming like Pinkie Pie.

"Y-yes?"

"Let's eat the cupcake before it gets stale."

For a moment, Konan widened her eyes and opened her mouth. Then, her expression returned to its usual blank state.

HE AVOIDED THE QUESTION! What does this mean...? It means he's EMBARRASSED! That's good, right?

"Okay."

They opened the bag.

"There's only one cupcake!"

"Well, she DID give it to us for free..."

"Does that mean..."

"I guess we'll have to share."

Konan's heart fluttered at the thought of sharing a something with Pein.

First the bed, now the cupcake? It would be like an indirect kiss!

"Eeah..." She mumbled uneasily.

I want this... But what if he doesn't? I don't know any more!

"Konan?"

"EH?!" She immediately woke up from her little world of thoughts.

"Are you okay?"

Color rushed to her cheeks, and her face became very warm.

"I... Yeah..."

"Are you sure?" Pein lifted a thin orange eyebrow.

"Yes..." She set the cupcake on the ground. It was a big vanilla one with whipped pink icing and colorful sprinkles.

"Reminds me of Pinkie Pie." He said.

Konan just nodded, and took a bite of the colossal confection.

"It's amazing!"

"Let me have a bite." Pein leaned forward, and ate a chunk.

"It IS!"

He kept on eating, along with Konan. Their hungry muzzles devoured the cake in under five minutes.

Soon, there was only one small piece left.

"Ah... One piece...''

Pein wasn't really a gentleman, and usually didn't do things that men would normally do for women. He never held the door open for Konan. He never helped her pull out her chair if they sat down. Heck, he never helped her at all.

Not like she needed it.

I should go for it.

NO, Konan looks like she really wants it.

But...

Pein made a move for the last piece, but it was gone. He looked at Konan, who had a very happy expression on her face, her muzzle splotched with pink frosting.

"You ate the last piece!"

She froze, the happy expression disappearing from her face.

Uh-oh. Did I make him mad?!

He slowly started pacing toward her, looking more and more ominous by the second. Konan was backing up, and she soon hit a wall.

There was no way out. Pein's large figure would block out any exits.

He closed in of her, and leaning forward...

Pein stuck out his tongue and licked the pink frosting off her mouth.

She just stood, dumbfounded.

Okay, WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!

Afterwards, he laughed to himself, and jumped on the bed.

He's a psycho!

Pein dropped his head onto a soft pillow. He was sleeping like a cat.

Tentatively, Konan joined him.

What was that all about? He looks all scary, and then he licks my mouth? Guess Pein thinks he's 'getting some' tonight? That's really not like him...

She thought for a little while longer and almost fell asleep, but was disrupted by a cold breeze of air.

"Brrr..."

She closed her eyes, trying to block out the cold, but it had woken her. She could not get to sleep.

With that, she snuggled closer to Pein, trying to warm herself.

Warmth flooded through her, blooming in her arms and legs. She sighed quietly, and in an hour, she was conked out.

As she was sleeping, Pein's large white wing closed over her back, and drew her in a little more...

"That looks FABULOUS, darling!" Rarity gushed, standing in front of Itachi.

Itachi stood in Rarity's boutique, motionless and expressionless. He was wearing a fancy black hat with a red feather sticking out of the top, and a silky red tie. A white collar was wrapped around his neck, and his mane was falling around his shoulders in a delicate heap.

Meanwhile, Kisame was dressed like a jester.

"AW, ITACHI! How come you're looking like a fricking PIMP, and I look like... Like..."

"A joke." He finished coldly.

Rarity was too caught up "fixing" Itachi's tie to hear his last statement.

"I mean, come on. ORANGE? With BLUE?"

"Actually," Rarity jumped in, "Orange is across from blue on the color wheel. Colors that are across from each other are complements.''

I look ridiculous, Kisame thought.

He was clad in a strange orange and blue jumpsuit, along with a little cap that looked like it belonged to Santa.

"Mmm, Itachi, you're looking VERY good..." She purred. With a giggle, she pranced off to deal with something else.

After Rarity left, Kisame turned to Itachi and growled.

"Why do YOU always get the HOT babes?!"

"Because I'm not a fish."

"What's wrong with fish?!"

"You don't look like a normal person."

"Well, EXCUUUUSE ME for being born like this!"

"You asked a question, I gave you an answer. Deal with it."

"You know what? I'm sure I could treat ANY GIRL better than you can, because your heart is made of ICE. You're mean, cold, and distant. You ignore people who throw themselves at you, claiming that they love you. The only reason girls don't like me is because I'm different."

He sighed, and plopped down on his hindquarters.

"They don't even give me a chance."

Itachi turned to face his blue skinned, sharp toothed partner.

"You really feel that way?"

"Yes. Not like you care."

"You're right... I don't."

"Do you like the pancakes?" Fluttershy asked, hope in her eyes.

Tobi lifted the bottom of his mask, only exposing his muzzle, and chewed thoughtfully for a few seconds.

Then, he grabbed the plate and horked all the pancakes down.

Fluttershy giggled happily. "I'm glad you like them!"

"Tobi DOES! They taste like bananas, and Tobi LOVES bananas!"

"Zetsu? How do you like them?" She turned to look at the bicolored pony.

He let out a large burp. Fluttershy looked, and both the plate AND the pancakes were gone.

"The plate... The pancakes... Mmmm..." His white side said.

She smiled, and turned back to Tobi. Picking up his plate, she hummed a little tune to herself. It was her way of relaxing worries away.

"Bad Zetsu! Why did you just eat that syrup jar? You could have just poured it out!"

"Shut up, lollipop face."

"Hey! Tobi has fashion! But you don't have any, because YOU'RE A PLANT!"

"I said, shut up!"

"You're jealous because you are ugly and green, when Tobi is nice and orange!"

"Grrrr..."

Zetsu leapt up from his seat and stared Tobi down. He snapped the leaf like appendages on his shoulders, and leaned in.

"Oh, NO YOU DON'T! DON'T MAKE ME GIVE YOU THE STARE!" Fluttershy's shrill voice interrupted.

He snarled and gritted his pony teeth. But Fluttershy walked towards him, calmer than water.

She growled right back, and narrowed her eyes. Her teal lakes glinted hypnotically, and Zetsu whimpered and backed away.

"Easy... Easy..."

Once Zetsu had been pacified, she turned to Tobi.

"OH! Are you alright?"

"Yes! Tobi is okay! Tobi still has his head, thank you very much!"

''Good, good!"

"Ah... Fluttershy?"

"Hmmm?"

"Can Tobi ask you an important question?"

"Sure... Okay."

"Do you... have more pancakes for Tobi?"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Applejack screamed, her mouth open wide.

Hidan barreled out of nowhere towards her, and skidded to a halt. "What the f*ck is it, woman?! I'm trying to f*cking sleep, here!"

She shot him a furious look.

"What d'ya THINK is wrong?!"

"The fact that you f*cking woke me up at 5 in the morning!"

Applejack growled loudly. She was already upset, having this dope around was like rubbing salt in a wound.

"This orchard is called 'Sweet APPLE Acres'. Look at the trees around ya! D'ya SEE ANY APPLES?!"

Hidan turned sluggishly, and got a good look at the endless rows of trees behind him.

"...HOLY F*CK! YOU'VE BEEN F*CKING ROBBED!"

She stamped her hoof on the ground. "Who could it BE?! Who in all of EQUESTRIA would steal all ma' apples?"

"You could ask Kakuzu, but I doubt that dipshit has an answer."

Applejack hit herself in the face.

"He was askin' me about ma' apple SALE PRICES! And his cutie mark was a dollar sign, meanin' he can make GOOD MONEY... AW, NAW!"

"What the f*ck is it now...?''

She turned and dashed away, bolting towards the market place.

Hidan stood, dumbstruck.

"Jashin-sama..." He whined. "Why did you have to bring me here?"

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Applejack screamed yet again after seeing Kakuzu standing at an EMPTY STALL.

"God dammit, my ears are like BALLOONS, OKAY?! They will f*cking POP if you keep screaming like a little bitch!"

Hidan opened his mouth to say more, but Applejack turned to face him. She had a glint in her eye, mischievous and naughty. Gliding up to him, she leaned in closer and closer...

Her hot breath fanned his face, his mane blowing back. Applejack and Hidan were nose to nose, when suddenly...

She gave him a bitch slap harder than a rock.

"SHUT UP! I've lost ALL ma' apples! That's the only thing I HAVE!"

She ran up to Kakuzu, her hat blown off, revealing all of her wild blond mane.

"What did you do with ma' apples?!"

He smiled, the line of his lips visible through his mask.

"I sold them for a PRETTY PENNY. Made about 5000 gold coins... Apples don't come cheap!"

With a laugh, he exited the stall.

"WHY?! Why did you do that?! How did you even get all my apples here?!"

"Simple. I used a jutsu to knock all the apples off the trees, and channeled chakra into my horn to lift them. "

'JUTSU'? 'CHAKRA'? What..?!

Applejack shook her head furiously.

"You're gonna PAY for this! Those are MY apples!"

"Oh, of course. I'm giving you an entire .01%."

"Grrr..."

A vein bulged in her forehead. She turned around, facing away from Kakuzu.

"What are you-''

With that, she kicked her hind legs out fiercely, and nailed Kakuzu in the chest. He was sent flying into the distance, a hoof print branded onto his fur.

"HOW ABOUT .02%?!"

"How long have they been like that?"

"I dunno, Twi."

Konan's eyes fluttered open to see Twilight and her assistant Spike staring at her with wide eyes.

"What is it?"

"OH!" Twilight looked like she had just been woken from a dream. "Um... Well, your majesty... I wanted to check on you and I found you like... that."

Konan cocked her head, only to have it bump into something.

Turning very slowly, she looked behind her, almost afraid of what she might find.

"EHH?!"

Pein was sleeping peacefully, his muzzle stuck straight in the middle of her long blue mane. All four of his legs were tangled around her, locking her in an intimate hold.

He stirred.

"Konan...''

"PEIN!" She wriggled in his grasp.

Is he DRUNK? Did Pinkie Pie spike that cupcake? Ohhh, I feel like I have a hangover, oh my go-

"What's wrong...?" He said lazily, embracing her tighter.

"Look!"

"His head turned sharply to see Twilight and Spike.

Staring at him like he had just grown another eye.

Pein's muzzle gaped wide open, and he quickly untangled himself from Konan.

"Ehm... I can explain...?"

They all stared at him, unblinking.

With a nervous chuckle, he burst past them and ran away, leaving Konan, Spike, and Twilight dumbfounded.

"I can't believe it. How?! How did it happen?"

Pein was pacing around behind Sugarcube corner. He needed to hide from all of them, needed to get his thoughts straight.

I remember drawing her in a little closer...

BUT THAT'S BECAUSE I WANTED TO KEEP HER WARM!

Right...?

She came to ME first!

But... I didn't exactly refuse her...

GAH! I don't even know how! We should have woken up sleeping NEXT to each other, not tangled in some sexual mes-

"Leader-sama. What are you doing here?"

That's it for now! Hope you enjoy my little chopped endings...

You know, chopped endings. When the story stops at a point that you don't know what's going to happen next?

I made up the chopped endings thing. Stupid, but that's what I do!

More is yet to come! Thanks to you loyal readers! Some of you guys even favorited, thanks so much!

Even if you're just here to read, I appreciate you! Because your views make me go,

"WHOOOOOHOOOOOOOO" Every day!

Every day I'm shuffli- I'm getting off topic. All I want to say is THANKS.

THANKS.

That was incredibly easy.

4. Unexpected guests

Hi! New chapter out, WHOOHOO! Sorry about the lateness. But don't worry, I'm not one of those people who abandons their fanfics! More will come!

"Leader-sama. What are you doing here?"

Shiiiiiiiiiit...

Pein turned slowly to see Sasori-pony standing expectantly behind him.

"OH! Sasori... It's you."

"Yes. What are you doing here?"

"I... Uh..."

Should I tell him the truth? No, that would ruin my all-powerful-leader image... Bah! I'll make something up.

"Weeelll... I was... Um... EXAMINING THE SHOP! Yes. Inspecting it."

Sasori stared at him with his lazy hazel eyes.

"That is a lie, leader-sama."

He sighed. "Was it THAT easy to tell?"

"Yes. You seem to be breathing a lot heavier than normal, and your cheeks are pink."

"... I guess you're right."

"So, what ARE you doing here? I'd like the truth, please."

Pein's face became blanker than an empty sheet of paper. He turned, and walked away.

"You aren't going to get rid of me that easily, leader-sama."

Sasori was in front of him in a second, giving him the same uninterested look that he wore every day.

"Why does it matter?"

"Because... I know you're hiding something. You usually tell us, the Akatsuki members, everything. EVERYTHING. Remember when you got drunk because Kisame put Jack Daniels in your late-night-coffee?"

Remembering that incident, Pein growled. A vein bulged in his furred forehead.

"I'm not going to tell you."

"This is about Konan, isn't it?"

He froze.

Shiiiiiiiiiit...

"I can tell by your expression that I'm correct."

"But I didn't even-"

"Your cheeks became red for less than a second, and you returned back to normal. Obviously, you are TRYING to hide something. And the only thing that could possibly be is something about Konan."

He glared at Sasori, annoyed that he was right.

"It's not about her."

"Oh, please." Sasori let out a 'psshhh' sound. "Itachi was the first one to notice your attraction to her."

"What?"

"Well..." He looked off into the distance, smiling, remembering, "It all started on that snowy day..."

Pein raised an eyebrow, but plopped down on his hindquarters to listen to Sasori.

"It was that day when it snowed. At the cave headquarters, we were eating pancakes, to get ourselves warm. Deidara and I were flipping them. Deidara always rambles on about his useless explosions. Naturally, I had to CORRECT him. Art is eternal beauty, but he doesn't see the pure GENIUS in it. We get into a little argument about it, like we normally do, and end up fighting."

"Like you normally do..."Pein said. His ringed eyes glinted impatiently.

"Anyways... He let one of his spider bombs go off, and it blew the pancakes to BITS. Everyone standing nearby, who was Itachi, Zetsu, and Konan, got splattered with chunks of cake."

He frowned. He wasn't remembering this at all.

"And, you walked in a little while later to see them covered in pieces of breakfast. So, IMMEDIATELY, you rushed over to Konan and grabbed her shoulders and wheeled her over to the bathroom."

"Ugh..." Pein paled, and hung his head. He remembered now.

"You thought we didn't see what you did afterwards, leader-sama. You thought that we were too busy trying to clean up the pancakes to notice."

"... Alright. You caught me."

"You licked a pancake bit out of her hair."

"OKAY, OKAY! That's enough, I remember the terrible incident already." He hung his head, letting his carrot locks bob sadly.

"But it was on several occasions. Remember that time when we decided to go to McNinja's for burgers? And you scootched just a LITTLE too close to her, making her burger fall out of her hand and into Zetsu's face?"

Pein sighed.

Afterwards, we got into a giant food fight... It took me DAYS to get that barbecue sauce out of my piercings.

"And remember that time when you tried using Bansho Tenin to bring her closer to you, but ended up sending you both flying into a fence?"

"ENOUGH!" He boomed, leaping to his feet. "SHINRA TENSEI!"

Sasori was blown backwards, and landed rump first into a blue lump moving at the speed of sound.

"HEY! GET YOUR BUTT OUTTA MY FACE!"

He growled, and turned to face the noise. It was a powder blue pegasus with a wild rainbow mane. She had magenta eyes that flickered with defiance, and a cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt adorned her flank.

"You DEAF? I'm talking to you!"

"I can hear you JUST FINE."

"I have somewhere to be, okay?! Jeez, I'm gonna be late!"

With that, the pony flapped her wings and bolted off past Pein and Sasori, leaving a faint rainbow trail behind.

"You're LATE, Rainbow Dash!" Twilight yelled as the pegasus flew inside her house.

"Well, I'm here now! What did you want to tell me?"

"Yeah! Why'd ya bring us all here?" Applejack joined in.

"I think it's time for a PAAARTY!" Pinkie Pie giggled, grabbing confetti out of nowhere and lobbing it into the air.

"U-um, really, Twilight..." Fluttershy said meekly.

''Indeed! I was having SO much fun dressing this absolutely DASHING stallion!'' Rarity said.

"Girls!"

Everyone froze, and turned to look at Twilight. She blinked and cleared her throat.

"AHEM! Okay, girls... You all know about the ROYALS, right?"

"Oh, right! The potty-mouth Jahsheen-something-or-other-ist and the dirty moneymaker?"

"And the handsome raven maned one and the blue fish-pony?"

"A-also, the spiral masked stallion and the one that's black and white...?"

"And the crazy blonde and lazy red-maned pony?"

"Wait, wait, wait. Red maned pony?" Rainbow dash held up her hooves. She hadn't seen the redhead around Ponyville before. Could he be one of the royals?

"What is it?" Twilight turned to face her.

"I bumped into the red mane on my way here. Was he a PRINCE? If he was, I'm SO DEAD, holy-"

"Rainbow, he was a regular unicorn. If he was a ROYAL, he'd have wings as well."

"OHHH!" She drew out the last letter. "Hehe! Silly me..."

"Anyways!"

All attention was back on the lavender alicorn.

"There is a prince and a princess in this group of foreign ponies. One has CRAZY piercings and flaming orange hair. The princess has a long blue mane, and a pretty white flower adorning it. She also has a small silver piercing below her muzzle."

"Oh, YEAH!" Rainbow Dash yelled. "I saw the creepy prince, but not the princess."

"That's nice, Rainbow. But, that's not the point. We need to show them some hospitality before they go to Princess Celestia!"

"Like what?"

"Like a... BEACH PARTY!"

"OMG!" The ponies squealed happily. Rainbow Dash did a horizontal 360 in the air, Pinkie Pie was breaking out TWO party cannons, and Applejack was kicking her hind legs out like there was no tomorrow.

"I know! Girls, let's do this! I've already created 5 lists, telling us what we need. I have backups upon backups upon backups!" Twilight excitedly floated a bunch of papers towards her. Her eyes scanned them, and she immediately began issuing orders to everyone else.

"Pinkie! Decorations, tables, and chairs!"

"You betcha, Twilight!"

"Fluttershy! Teach the birds a song to sing at the beach!"

"A-alright, Twilight!"

"Applejack! Can I count on you to cover the food?"

"...I think I'll manage! Bet Granny Smith has a surplus of fresh apples to make into fritters!"

"Rainbow! Clear the sky of any clouds, we need the beach to be sunny!"

"Will do, Twilight!"

"Rarity! Can you get some bathing suits, towels, and umbrellas?"

"I will! They'll be the most FABULOUS items you've ever seen!"

The ponies burst out of Twilight's tree house, eager to prepare the best beach party the royals had ever seen.

"I'll find everyone and tell them!" Twilight said to herself. She too ran out, in search of the ninja-ponies.

Konan crept out from a bookcase she was hiding behind. She had heard the entire thing.

Sighing, she walked back to the guest room she had slept in.

"Why can't the Akatsuki work like that?"

"Prince Pein!"

Pein turned his head, his messy orange hair swishing around.

"Yes...?"

Twilight was huffing and puffing, her pony cheeks red. "We're having a party!"

"A... party?"

He blinked.

Parties? Aren't they what that pink bouncing pony keeps raving about...?

"Yes, a PARTY! At Ponyville Beach! In exactly 45 minutes. Everything will be provided, snacks, drinks, bathing suits, you name it!"

She batted her lashes, and smiled. Her face alone said, "PLEASE COME! BECAUSE I REALLY WANT YOU TO!"

Pein squinted his ringed lavender eyes, but nodded.

"Great! Ponyvile beach is very close to where we are now! Just take a left on this road, a right once you get to Saddle Street, straight until you reach Trottingham Terrace... And it's on the left!"

He hadn't understood half of her statement.

"Ah..."

She giggled, and turned to walk away. "I'll notify some other ponies! Could you please your advisors? They're invited too!"

"But-"

"Goodbye, your majesty!" And she was gone.

Dammit. I was going to ask her if she knew where Konan was.

Pein turned in the direction of Sugarcube corner, going to alert Sasori and Deidara about the news.

"A party!"

"Really...? Will there be any LADIES there?" Kisame said, widening his sharky eyes.

"Yes!" Twilight smiled widely.

"So... when?" Itachi looked down at her with coldness. He was like a chunk of stone with amazing hair and sharingans.

"In exactly 39 minutes!"

"Good."

"Anything we need to bring?"

"Nope! Just yourselves!"

''...Hmmm... is leader-sama coming?"

"You mean the prince and princess? Yes!"

"...Alright."

With a grin, Twilight left Kisame and Itachi.

Even though you couldn't see it, Itachi was aflame with excitement, and Kisame-

Well, he was pretty noticeable. Seeing as he was doing the pop and lock with a giant sword on his back.

"A beach party, hmmm. Sounds like fun, let's go, my man!"

"But-"

"YES! The only thing that is even close to art is FUN, hmmm. It's been a while since I've been to a party, we should do it!"

"But-"

"We'll be there, hmmm!"

"Great!" Twilight chirped. "Be there in 33 minutes, exactly! You don't need to bring anything!"

"But-"

"Alright, hmmm! This is going to be so awesome!"

But... Sasori thought.

I can't swim.

"YAY! TOBI LOVES PARTIES!"

"Yes... I love seafoo- the SEA, very much, too... Nyehehehe..."

Twilight sweatdropped, but smiled nonetheless. "Okay, guys! Make sure you go to the beach in exactly 25 minutes, okay?"

"Okay! Tobi can do that, because he is a GOOD BOY!"

"Yes... A tasty, delicio- Yes. We'll be there."

She backed away slowly, laughing in awkward little chirps. "See you...?"

"OKAY!"

"F*CKIN' SWEET!"

Twilight cringed at Hidan's language. She wasn't used to such words.

"Yes, sir... At exactly 18 minutes from now!"

"Is there an entry fee?" Kakuzu asked, putting a hoof to his chin.

"No... This is just like a welcome party! You don't need anything to come!"

"Really...? So it's... FREE?"

"YES."

"REALLY?"

"Yes."

"100% sure?"

"Yes!"

He nodded, satisfied. "Alright. We can go."

"Great! See you guys!" With that, she turned and left the pair alone, running to the beach as fast as her legs could take her.

Twilight stood in front of the 10 Akatsuki ponies. Pein and Konan were looking serious as always, Itachi wore his usual glare, Kisame was checking Rainbow Dash out, Deidara and Tobi looked ready to burst with excitement, Sasori, Kakuzu, and Zetsu were slightly frowning, and Hidan smiled so big, it looked like you could fit a watermelon in his mouth.

"Royals, we'd like to welcome you here, to Ponyville. And we want to show you the way we do things around here."

Pein looked over at his ninja-ponies.

Here we go...

"LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!"

"OW! Dammit, Naruto! Why did you have to land on my head?!"

"AAH! Sorry, Sakura!"

"Hn..."

"Wait... Where are we...?"

Kakashi blinked, and looked at all of his students, and the surroundings.

"We are... PONIES."

BAM!

Well, I hope you guys enjoyed! My apologies for making you wait so long yet again. But - school and stuff, ya know? I was up for a while trying to finish this, it's been on my laptop for so long!

Full of the derps XD

~BALL SO HARD ******* TRY TO FINE ME

If you know the song, good for you! I love Jay Z.

5. A wild party

My laptop crashed, and I had to write this entire thing again.

I now know the value of the save button. GRRR... FRIKING... GAH!

Anyways- GINORMOUS thanks to princessbinas! She got me to merge team 7 into the story! Check out her fics!

And I just want to thank everyone for reading. You all are a pretty loyal bunch.

Enjoy!

"We're ponies!"

Naruto's eyes widened as he looked at his teammates.

Sakura was a bubblegum pink unicorn with a cropped mane of the same color. She had emerald-green eyes, and a little marking on her upper leg- it was a picture of a cherry blossom tree.

Sasuke looked dark and cool as always. He had jet black fur and a raven mane that stuck up in the same fashion it did when he was human. His eyes were dark as ever, and a picture of his curse mark adorned his flank. A shiny horn poked out from his forehead.

Kakashi's lower face, sadly, was still covered by his mask. A leaf forehead protector was draped over his right eye, but you could still see his lazy other one. His mane stuck up, windblown, and his fur was the color of a stormy sky. There was a red Icha Icha symbol tattooed on his leg. Kakashi was a unicorn too.

"Naruto... THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU IDIOT!"

"GAH!" Naruto turned, and ran back into the direction of the portal. Charging, he ran straight at it.

He tumbled through, but there was nothing there. There was only an empty mirror frame standing before him.

"I can't get back into this thing that teleported us here!"

"WHAT?!" Sakura proceeded to run through the portal, only to fall on her ass.

"DAMMIT! What have you done?!"

"I didn't do anything!"

"Who even goes back to a place we were attacked at, Naruto?" Sasuke said, annoyed.

"HEY! I would have beat the crap out of them! I was just... CAUGHT OFF GUARD!"

"The only reason we're here in the first place is because you wanted to look for those damn ninjas and fight them!"

"I thought they were in that cave! And then, when we fell down a giant hole... We just slipped into the mirror portal!"

"Now, now, Sakura, Naruto..." Kakashi stepped forward, and looked at all of his students. "We need to remain calm in a situation like this. In an unknown area, the LAST thing you should do is panic."

"But-"

"But NOTHING! Since we can't go back into the portal that brought us here, the best thing we can do is try to get help. Let's move!"

He bit his hoof, attempted to make some hand signs, and thrusted it into the ground.

"Please. Something like that is not going to work when we're PONIE-" Naruto was cut off by a poof of smoke.

"YO!" Pakkun, Kakashi's nin-dog, was sitting lazily right in front of them.

"EEEH?! WE CAN DO JUTSU AS PONIES?!"

He ignored Naruto and turned to Pakkun.

"Pakkun. Help us find the nearest town."

The dog stuck his nose into the lime green grass, and sniffed. He turned sharply and started running in a random direction.

"This way!" He barked.

With that, team 7 bolted afterwards, desperate for help.

"SORRY FO' PARTY ROCKING!" Fluttershy roared into a shiny microphone. Immediately, multicolored birds started chirping the starting tune.

The other ponies stared at her in awe. Who knew little Fluttershy could rock like that?

"YEEEAAAH!" Rainbow dash zoomed over to her in a bright flash, and whipped another microphone out of nowhere.

"Yo... I be UP IN THE PARTY- Lookin' for a hottie to BONE... I got a drink in my hand and they just called BUFFALO... WASSUP!"

Pein cocked his head.

I thought they were innocent little souls who didn't like to party like wild animals... Oh well. I can deal with this.

"SUMMONING JUTSU!"

Oblivious to the fact that he had no fingers, Pein thrusted his hooves together into hand signs. In a poof of smoke, 5 other ponies appeared before him- his paths. (THIS IS ALTERNATE UNIVERSSSE! Pein's Deva path can do all the jutsu HERE. Sorry- but that's how I DO!)

They all looked similar, with flaming orange hair, piercings, and ringed eyes.

"Why did you bring us here?"

"Look around you."

The paths observed their surroundings, ignoring that they were all PONIES.

"There's a cool beach party going on..."

Pein smiled. The paths looked at him with excited expressions, and yelled, "WASSSSSSUP!"

Giving each other bro hoofs, they started singing along to the whack-ass LMFAO.

''SORRY FO' PARTY ROCKING!"

"HEY, EVERYBODY! TAKE SNACKS, DRINKS, CUPCAKES, ALL THE FOOD! IT'S A PARTY!" Pinkie Pie shrieked into the air.

"GOD DAMMIT, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO F*CKING LOUD?!"

A thick stream of balloons and streamers flew out of no where. What kind of sorcery let these ponies magically get whatever they needed, whenever they needed it?!

"WHAT THE F*CK?!"

Hidan's cursing sound of Pinkie's insane laughter.

"Crazy bitch..." He muttered. Walking over to a snack table, Hidan grabbed a soda.

Or, rather, TRIED to. He couldn't even pick it overwhelmed by the

"F*CK!"

Suddenly, a muddy brown light surrounded the little can, and it floated in the air.

"Honestly. If someone told me you were a genin, I would believe them." Kakuzu's raspy voice sounded from behind Hidan.

"F*CK OFF, KAKUZU! Drop my f*cking soda!"

"Calm down. Picking it up isn't even hard. You just need to channel your chakra into your horn, and focus it on whatever item you want to pick up. It doesn't require much chakra at all."

With that, Kakuzu set the can down, back on the table.

"Try it."

Hidan frowned, but turned to the can and leaned his horn forward.

"Hnnnnn..."

Sparkly maroon light glowed from Hidan's horn, and surrounded the soda. It floated up and off the table.

"F*CKIN' SWEET!" He yelled, grinning wildly. Waving his horn around, he made the can move left and right.

"Drink the damn thing already." Kakuzu said, annoyed.

"Fine!" Hidan narrowed his eyes, and brought the soda to his muzzle. With a swift movement, he downed the entire thing in one gulp.

"That was f*cking awesome!" He excitedly levitated another drink.

"Well, Hidan..." Kakuzu sighed, "I'm not going to help you if you get hiccups."

"Damn." Kisame said as he checked out a blonde pony with shining blue eyes. She giggled as she walked by, giving a flirtatious stare to Itachi.

Once she had left, Kisame growled angrily.

"You are the WORST wingman ever!''

"It's not my fault that you can't get a girl. Look at you. The way you smile could frighten CHUCK NORRIS. Your eyes make you look like you're about to EAT someone. Your hair probably hasn't been combed, OR WASHED, in years! When you try to approach a girl, you need to look good. That's their first impression."

Instead of looking hurt, Kisame had a thoughtful expression on his face.

"You're right. Well, you're the one always looking so 'smooth', so help a brother out!"

Itachi sighed. "I don't have anything to work with."

Looking around with his sharky eyes, Kisame noticed a certain purple haired pony...

"Itachi. Go over to Rarity and ask her if she has makeover supplies."

"Actually, she can just do the makeover herself."

"NO! You saw how she dressed me this morning, I need a GUY to do it!"

"Ugh..." Itachi started walking towards Rarity. "Fine."

"Rarity, my darling..."

He could hear her breath catch, and she swiveled around to face him quickly.

"OH! Hello, Itachi! *GIGGLE* How can I help you?"

"Well... I need a brush, some scissors, and those clothes you made me today. Which, by the way, were absolutely lovely."

Rarity giggled happily once more, and batted her eyelashes. "Anything for you..." With that, her horn glowed blue, and several objects popped out of nowhere. She let them fall to the ground gently.

"Here you are!"

Itachi had already gained control of his horn, and he successfully picked up the objects and carried them away.

''Thank you..." He looked back at her with a charming smile, "Rarity..."

With that, he walked off back to Kisame, hearing a lovestruck sigh from the purple haired pony.

Kisame had seen the whole thing. His eyes widened as he stared at Itachi.

"DAMN! How did you do it?!"

Setting the items down, Itachi blinked. "You have to distance yourself. If you lose your cool around a girl... They go away. But, you have to polite, and gentlemanly as well. Compliment them. And, lastly, LOOK GOOD."

He sighed. "Guess you're right. I probably frighten away any girl that comes near... But you'll fix that, right?"

"I'll try. Sit down.

Kisame obediently sat on his hindquarters.

A wooden brush levitated towards him, surrounded in red light, and started brushing Kisame's spiky tuft of hair.

"OW! That hurts..."

"Is that a seashell in there? Wait, no... It's crystallized seaweed... GAH! A HERMIT CRAB!"

"That's not funny..."

Soon, Kisame's hair was tamed. It looked a little like Hidan's hairstyle, with more mane strands at the front.

"Better..." Itachi said, eyeing his head. "But we're still not done."

"Okay... What next...? Ooh, my head feels a lot lighter..."

"It's because I got all the ocean junk out of it. Now, we need you to put on that collar and tie."

The collar and tie levitated up, and slipped over Kisame's head. It was a little snug on his neck, but looked good nonetheless.

"Alright. Now, just a few more things. Remember what I said about 'distancing yourself? Keep your cool and the girls will go nuts. But, be polite as well. Compliment them. Girls are all about the 'JUST RIGHT'. Oh, and do NOT smile. Because your teeth are terrible."

Kisame laughed good-naturedly. "Itachi... You're alright. You're a bastard, but alright."

"Thank you. Now get off your ass and find some poor soul to party with."

"Swimsuits over here!" Rarity chirped. She was levitating a giant lacy bag.

Pein and his paths lined up in front of the bag. He took a look, and picked a blue pair of swim trunks with orange stripes running down the sides.

Do ponies even need swimsuits? He thought as he donned the swimwear.

Turning to the paths, he yelled, "Alright, guys! 6 PATH CANNONBALL!"

The 6 ninja ponies linked arms, and charged straight to the ocean. With a leap of faith, they jumped into the cool water. They curled their legs in, making themselves little balls. Once they hit the sea, a massive splash drenched everyone in a 40 foot radius.

Pein emerged from the water, laughing hard.

I haven't had this much fun in AGES. All I do is work, and worry...

His mane was sopping wet. He shook it out of his eyes, to see Konan staring at him with a small smile. She turned away once he had noticed her.

"Eyyy..." Pein said with a smirk.

"Leader-sama. Wasn't Konan staring at us just now?" A path said.

"Yeah..."

With that, he exited the water.

"HEY! KONAN!"

"Let's go swimming, my man! It'll be fun, hmmm!"

Sasori and Deidara, already clad in swim trunks, were sitting by the ocean, debating on whether or not to swim.

"I don't want to..."

"Why not?"

"There are... SHARKS! Yeah. Sharks in the water."

"The only shark around is Kisame, hmmm. And he's too busy talking up that girl over there, hmmm."

Sasori looked at the blue haired shark-pony. He looked different, more smooth. His mane was slicked back, and the girl he was with seemed very happy.

"Wow... since when does Kisame pick up girls like that?"

"DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT, HMMM! Come on, let's go swimming. The water's nice and cool, hmmm!"

"But..."

"GREAT!" Deidara grabbed Sasori by the hoof, and dragged him into the ocean.

"GAH!" He gurgled, spitting out water. "DEIDARA!''

"What?!"

"I CAN'T SWIM!"

Deidara's eyes widened as he faced the redheaded pony. He was struggling to keep himself afloat.

"It's easy! Just kick out your hind legs, hmmm."

"But-"

"Do it!"

Sasori started kicking wildly, trying desperately not to drown. He was making a lot of noise, but you could see that he was moving.

"You're doing it, hmmm! You're swimming!"

"I am? I AM!" With a howl, he started flailing his front legs. It looked super awkward, but his swimming pace sped up.

"YAY! Great job, my man! Let's go!"

The two best buddies were actually getting along. They both swam happily, diving and popping up like dolphins.

"This is fun!"

"Yeah, hmmm! We should-"

"WHO WANTS CAKE?!" A voice shrieked.

"There's nobody here. This town is deserted." Sasuke said coldly.

"HANG ON!" Pakkun leaned forward, listening for a sound.

"LMFAO!"

"Pakkun! There's nothing funny about this situation!" Naruto yelled.

"NO! I meant LMFAO, the singers! I hear some Party Rock Anthem in this direction!"

Kakashi leaned foward as well. "Yes... I hear the bass."

The ninja ponies dashed off, eager to find out what they were listening to.

Suddenly, they came across a mob of colorful ponies, grouped up in a big clump. Music was playing loud, and everyone seemed to be laughing.

"It's... A PARTY!" Naruto yelled. He bolted towards the crowd, a little TOO excited. He felt a knock on his hoof, and was sent careening into the bunch of ponies.

"Naruto, you idiot!" Sasuke ran after him.

"SAAASUKE!" Sakura yelled annoyingly. She followed him into the crowd.

"AAAAAHHHH!" Naruto was closing in on a giant rainbow surface.

Shit! What if that's a wall?! I have to break through! I don't want a concussion...

He thought fast, and conjured up a Rasengan mid-air. It was weak, because there hadn't been enough time to create it properly, but it would break whatever he was about to crash into.

Naruto thrusted his hoof in front of him, bracing himself for the worst.

"THAT'S A F*CKING BADASS CAKE!" Hidan hooted.

Pinkie Pie was carrying a GINORMOUS cake. It was at LEAST 5 feet tall, and 3 feet wide. Covered in rainbow frosting and fruit, it was a cake to end all cakes. Little ponies adorned the top, and bright sparklers were stuck into the sides.

"THAT'S TRUE ART, HMMM!" Deidara yelled, with Sasori nodding rapidly in agreeance.

"How much did it cost...?"

Kisame licked his muzzle. "That looks tasty..."

"YAY! Tobi loves cake!"

"Finally... Something to eat..." Zetsu said creepily.

Pein smiled, and his pains smiled with him. This day was ending up pretty well for them.

Many ponies gathered around to marvel at the monstrous confection.

"Wow, that's-"

"AAAAAAAHHH!"

Naruto charged straight into the cake. His spinning chakra ball sent chunks flying everywhere, spiraling outta CONTRO'.

He landed in a heap on the ground, dazed like a deer that had been hit by a car.

Pein licked frosting off of his muzzle.

Yum. I can taste the Rainbow.

He turned to the lump lying on the beach floor. It had sherbert orange fur covered in cake bits, and a short blonde mane. There was a little Naruto fish cake on his flank.

"IT'S THE KYUUBI!" Pein yelled. "ATTACK, AKATSUKI!"

The ninja ponies didn't hesitate.

"BANSHO TENIN!" Pein aimed his jutsu at Naruto, but he was already gone. The jutsu hit Hidan instead, yanking him into Pein. They both crashed to the ground.

"DAMMIT, LEADER! I was almost done drawing the Jashin symbol when you f*cking PULLED ME OUT! What the f*ck is your problem?!"

Throwing Hidan off, Pein yelled to his paths. "Don't just STAND THERE! Get him!"

The 5 other paths ran after Naruto, and caught him in a circle.

"KING OF HELL!"

"ASURA ATTACK!"

"SUMMONING JUTSU!"

"BLOCKING TECHNIQUE ABSORBTION SEAL!"

They all fired at the same time. Naruto clenched his eyes shut, preparing for the worst, but...

Sasuke swooped in and grabbed him! He was saved!

"Thanks, Sasuke! I had it under control, but thanks anyway!"

"Tch."

They both fled to safety while the 5 pains were hit by each other's jutsu.

The Naraka path was being hounded by a two-headed dog with rinnegan eyes.

The Animal path was getting its chakra absorbed, making the dog fade away slowly.

The Asura path had its tongue stretched way out. It was being grasped by a slimy purple arm that led to a scary open-mouthed statue.

"That was close."

"NOT SO FAST..." Kakuzu appeared behind the two boys in a flash. Stitches shot out from his back, and wriggled around.

They wrapped around Sasuke's leg, making him collapse on the ground. He tried to fight back, but it was no use. The little wires were trailing up his chest, going for his neck.

"GAH!" Naruto tried to run, but was yanked back by Kakuzu's gray tentacles. They coiled around him, binding him tighter and tighter, until-

"HIYYAAAAAAAHHHH!" Kisame jumped from above, Samehada raised. He snarled, and brought the sword down hard... ON KAKUZU'S TENTACLES.

"Owww..." The stitches started to weaken, and Naruto was almost rushed over to Sasuke, trying to free him from his prison.

"Oh, no you don't! Kyuubi, you're mine!" He raised his sword again, and whacked Kakuzu again!

"AGH!" The stitches slipped away, and Kakuzu fell in a heap on the ground.

"You know..." He rasped. "Don't be dealing blows like that to me... I'm 91, for Pete's sake..."

Kisame paid no attention. "I'll finish you!" He was so filled with rage. The minute he tried to strike, Samehada went spiraling out of his hooves and into the ocean.

"NOOO! MY BEAUTIFUL SAMEHADA!" He ran after it, leaving the two genin ponies alone.

"Geez... WE NEED TO RUN!"

The ninja-ponies ran for their lives. They were dealing with S-rank criminals here! It was best not to muck around, or they'd end up dead.

"AHA! Looks like the Kyuubi is ours, hmmm!"

Naruto and Sasuke froze.

Deidara and Sasori were charging at them.

"AAAAAH!"

The two Akatsuki stopped, and paused to get their weapons out. Sasori whipped out his Kazekage puppet, which was a very serious looking wooden pony.

Deidara had 5 spider bombs on his hoof, ready to explode at any moment.

"YOU SHALL WITNESS ART! Because... ART IS AN EXPLOSION, HMMM!"

Deidara flicked his hoof, sending three clay bombs flying at Naruto and Sasuke's feet. With a cloud of fire and smoke, they EXPLODED. The sparks burned the genins' hooves, but it was al minor damage.

"Time to get serious..." Sasori's puppet surged forward, and engaged in hand to hand combat with Sasuke.

"LION'S BARRAGE!" Sasuke yelled, smashing his foot into the wooden machine's face. It's mouth cracked open to reveal a gray blade coated in a sickly purple liquid...

Poison.

The two continued battling it out, while Naruto was trying to dodge all of Deidara's clay bombs.

"You won't escape, hmmm!" He cackled.

"Paper shuriken." A loud, feminine voice said. The four ninja ponies looked into the sky, seeing Konan flying above them. She had gained full control of her wings.

Suddenly, sharp bits of folded paper started raining on them, scratching their skin.

"GAHHH! KONAN, you're battering us up too, hmm! Have better aim!"

She growled, and the stream of paper started to fall more rapidly.

"How's this!? Am I hitting all the TARGETS now?"

The cuts on their fur started to bleed, oh so slowly... Until a giant ball of flame burst out of nowhere, singeing all of Konan's paper shuriken.

Itachi stood below her, emotionless. "We're hurting our comrades."

"Our goal is to catch the Kyuubi. NOT to keep all of our teammates alive." She said coldly."

Itachi glanced at the two pony boys. Sasuke was a heap on the ground, passed out from blood loss. Naruto was barely conscious.

He looked into Itachi's blood-red eyes, to see the commas in his sharingans spinning.

Big mistake.

Naruto started feeling terribly dizzy. His head was twirling like a drunk tornado.

Looking around him, he could see that the area was entirely black. Nobody was there except for him.

"Hello?"

Suddenly, images of people started flashing by. They all glared at him with a cruel look, hating every fiber of his being.

Naruto remembered.

People despised him. They didn't bother to acknowledge him, they just walked by, pretending he didn't exist. To them, he wasn't Naruto Uzumaki. To them, he was the nine tailed fox.

Naruto sank to his knees.

They would never think of him as a person. Because when he walked, the shadow of a monster trailed behind him.

Iruka, Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sakura appeared.

"You're a worthless idiot."

"You're so ANNOYING!"

"You'll never amount to anything."

"You think you can be Hokage? Think again."

They taunted him. And it hurt a lot more because they were his friends...

"ENOUGH!" Two loud voices boomed, waking him from his thoughts.

He was still looking at Itachi. Turning to face the noise, he only saw sparkling white light.

A rainbow flash ran along everything and everyone, and in a burst of shimmering brightness, two figures stepped out.

"I will not have disorder in Equestria."

"Neither will I."

The two voices commanded respect, they were almost regal.

"Princesses..." A pony stammered.

"YOUR MAJESTIES!"

And that's it for now! Stand by for more juice!

6. The princesses

Sorry about the long wait! School has been starting up, I'm in like, LEGIT school mode. Studying, doing projects, that stuff. AND I HATE IT.

It's really late right now, because I just HAD to write another chapter before bed... Tomorrow I have school, I want to keep my promise of updating at least every weekend.

ANYWAYS, thanks for sticking with me! Enjoy!

"YOUR MAJESTIES!"

All of the ponies around started bowing down, closing their eyes in great respect towards the two unknown ponies.

Pein blinked.

I'm not going to bow down to some random ponies I've never met or even HEARD of. I am GOD, and a god does not simply do that.

He looked at the two figures, observing their features.

One was very tall, and had snow-white fur. A golden tiara was perched atop her pastel rainbow mane, which seemed to flow like water. It sparkled in the sun. The entire pony was shining with godly light. Her eyes were a light amethyst, and a yellow sun was tattooed on her flank. She was an Alicorn.

The other pony was slightly smaller, but commanded respect in an ethereal way as well. Her fur was a deep navy, and she had the most beautiful sapphire eyes. The pony's mane was a shimmering blue as well, and her wings and horn were the same was a cream crescent moon on her flank.

He gaped for a second, then regained his composure.

"This is unacceptable. Ponyville has been peaceful since the attack of the changelings. What is going on?" The white Alicorn asked.

"YES. Who causes the trouble?" The smaller Alicorn had a booming voice, strong and echoing.

The two looked at everyone that wasn't bowing down- Which were all of the Akatsuki and all of team 7.

Blinking, they looked at the unfamiliar ponies. When nothing happened, the white Alicorn closed her eyes. Peachy light started glowing around her.

Pein panicked. She's focusing her chakra... IS SHE PLANNING TO BLOW US UP?

"Akatsuki! DUCK!"

The standing ponies hit the ground, and covered their heads with their hooves.

"F*CK, I'M TOO BEAUTIFUL TO DIE!" Hidan whimpered.

Her eyes flashed open, brighter than burning stars. With a shimmering sound, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight, the Akatsuki, and team 7 were gone.

"WHERE THE F*CK ARE WE?!"

Konan shook her head. Looking around, she noticed tall marble pillars and many guards, armed in gold.

The guards were assembled in a circle around the Akatsuki and team 7. Each had their horns leaning forward, ready to cast a spell at a moment's notice.

Observing her surroundings a little more, she identified the place as either a castle or a church. The cream-colored floor gleamed under bright torchlight, and rays of sun shone through stained glass windows. The windows had ponies depicted in them. One had a rather strange-looking goat monster in it, holding hands with a yellow pony that looked like Fluttershy. The next had two ponies twined together, one pink and one white. A bunch of black, insect looking things laid at their feet, dead. Another had a picture of a dark blue pony inside of a full moon, being worshiped by others. A particularly interesting window was one with 6 sparkling gems arranged in a hexagon. 6 ponies surrounded the gems, looks of peace and happiness on their faces. For some reason, they looked familiar.

"NOW!" The dark Alicorn boomed suddenly.

Everyone turned to face her. Konan frowned. Who is she to boss us around?

"Who are you...?" The white Alicorn asked.

Konan took a furtive glance at Pein. He was standing, still as stone, ringed lavender eyes glinting with contempt.

With a loud flap, he unfurled his large white wings.

"I am Pein... I am god."

The two Alicorns stiffened. They knew he was royalty, but where did he even come from?

The navy pony turned to Konan, expecting her to introduce herself.

Konan decided on a regal introduction as well. It was better to have the two know who was boss around here.

"Konan." She said, using an icy voice that could make even Hidan silent.

"Itachi."

"Kisame."

"Tobi!"

"Zetsu..."

"Hidan!"

"Kakuzu."

"Deidara, hmmm."

"Sasori..."

"Alright..." The white Alicorn's eyes narrowed. "Shining Armor! Tell me who the other ponies are."

A white unicorn with a long blue mane marched forward, out of a group of soldiers.

"They seem to be foreign ponies."

"Bring them out."

Team 7, being restrained by guards on their every side, appeared.

The dark Alicorn looked away as she noticed Sasuke, and the white Alicorn blushed at the sight of Kakashi.

"And you four are...?"

"Naruto."

"IDIOT! Don't give our names away so freely!"

"Sakura, we might as well follow their orders... Seeing as we're all hostages in this situation."

"But-"

"No buts... I'm Kakashi."

"Tch. Sasuke..."

"Sakura."

"Alright..." The white Alicorn cleared her throat.

"I am Princess Celestia, the leader of Equestria."

"And I am Princess Luna, Celestia's younger sister, also a leader of Equestria."

There's no way they're related. Konan thought. Look at them! They're like day and night! Literally...

"Yes... Now." Celestia turned to Pein and Konan.

"There are only four Alicorns in Equestria. Luna, Cadance, Twilight, and myself. Where did you come from...?"

Pein stayed silent, still glaring at the royal ponies.

"We came... from a portal."

Something sparked in the two's eyes, but it left as soon as it had come.

"It couldn't be... What did the portal look like?" She said urgently.

"The portal was a mirror," Konan said. "We couldn't see our reflection in it, so we decided to touch the thing."

"Did it have SILVER EDGING?"

"HA!" Hidan jumped in. "You bet your ass it did! That shit looked like it was for a f*cking prissy family... And Tobi dumb enough to touch the f*cking thing!"

"HEY! Tobi just did what he was told, like a GOOD PONY!"

"Now is not the time for stupi-" Kakuzu tried to stop the fight that was brewing, but was cut off by the sound of Zetsu's voice.

"Hidan, stop being such a jerk. He's just a CHILD." Zetsu snickered.

"Leave Tobi alone. If anyone is the child, it's you." Itachi said coldly.

''You again, Itachi! You must really like to get in the way!" Zetsu snapped the green appendages sprouting from his neck.

"I think you BOTH are stupid, hmmm. Fighting over nothing. It's not a big deal, hmmm. Right, my man?"

"It IS a big deal. This isn't helping our teamwork at all-" Sasori said.

"My MAN! You argue TOO much about your 'art', hmmm! You're the one breaking up the teamwork here, hmmm!"

A vein bulged in Sasori's forehead, and his lazy hazel eyes were set ablaze. "What do you mean by 'ART'?! You DARE to disrespect eternal beauty?"

"YOU LITTLE SHIT, GIVE ME MY SCYTHE BACK!" Hidan was now chasing Kakuzu around the castle room, hooves clacking against the floor.

Itachi was standing completely still in front of a horrified Zetsu. He was kneeling on the ground, looking like he had been shot in the face.

Kisame was starting to unwrap Samehada with a rather scary smile. Who knows what he was planning?

Tobi was holding his knees in his arms, rocking himself back and forth slowly... He seemed to be whispering, "Tobi is a baaaad boy..."

And, of course, Sasori and Deidara were face to face in a heated art argument.

As Pein watched all of the chaos ensuing, he started to raise his hoof. This was enough. They had already gotten into a billion fights before, but this was the last straw. Their trip to wherever this was had been completely fruitless.

"Shinra... Ten-"

Suddenly, he was sent flying backwards with a powerful kick in the chest. The noise sounded like the thundering of bowling pins being knocked over.

In a flash of orange, blue, white, purple, yellow, and pink, The entire Akatsuki had been subdued.

Pein was lying, dazed, on the ground.

Itachi and Kisame were wrapped up in a thick strip of stylish fabric.

Hidan and Kakuzu were being held in some sort of cage, glowing with hot pink light.

Tobi was covered in bunnies and butterflies, not allowing him to move anywhere.

Deidara and Sasori were lying, conked out, on the ground. A rainbow hoof print had been stamped on Sasori's head.

Kisame and Zetsu were tied head to toe in pink, blue, and yellow... streamers.

As for Konan, she was standing still. She hadn't caused any trouble at all.

"This is unacceptable. You fight in Ponyville beach, and now you fight AGAIN?" Celestia said fiercely. '' PLEASE let me try to figure out what is going on here. Princess Twilight, what is your take on this?"

"I believe... It's the MAGIC MIRROR."

"No...'' Luna gasped. ''It doesn't exist. It's just a myth."

"There's no other explanation as to why they'd be here..."

"What about you? Ka..Ka..."

"Kakashi."

"Oh... YES! Yes... Er... Did you also come through the potal?"

"Yes, my students and I did. When we tried to return, the glass in the mirror was gone."

"Could you please tell me information about the portal, Princess Twilight?"

"Well... This isn't good. The portal is already closed, and can't be used for... two more moons. You foreign ponies are going to be stuck here for a while."

"Us... with the Akatuski..." Sasuke frowned, but joy danced in his eyes. He was going to enjoy puching them to death.

"THE AKATSUKI ARE BAD GUYS!" Naruto shrieked. "THEY TRIED TO KILL ME! C'MON, I'LL GIVE 'EM A PIECE OF ME, COME AT ME BRO! YOU GOT NOTHING ON ME! I MAKE CHUCK NORRIS LOOK LIKE NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM! I CAN WORK NUNCHUCKS BETTER THAN BRUCE LEE! I-"

"Bad... guys?" Luna turned to all of the restrained Akatsuki.

"We're just trying to achieve world peace... Not like any of you would understand. But this is of the utmost importance. This is our DREAM. We have problems in... teamwork. Which is why we're here. My team has failed to capture the Kyuubi countless times, all because we basically HATE each other. We have no connection. This is for the peace of the world, the end to the cycle of hatred. But, if I can't even cooperate with my teammates, it will never be achieved..."

That speech was pretty deep... But he's right. I didn't understand much. Celestia thought.

"OH! You know, Ponyville is a great place to make friends and have fun! I'm sure we can help you with your teamwork problem in two moons!"

"Yeah! Ponyville's the nicest town in all of Equestria!" Applejack said.

"It sure is funny! *giggle*" Pinkie Pie chirped.

"And we'd all be willing to help you out, darlings..." Rarity cooed.

"YEP! We're in the best town ever!" Rainbow Dash did a hoof pump.

"I-I think we CAN fix this..." Fluttershy said.

"Yes. I think Twilight and her friends can teach you magic... Great magic, powerful magic, magic that can do anything..." Celestia said, smiling.

"Magic? Special jutsu that will help us obtain the Kyuubi?"

"I'M RIGHT HERE, YOU KNOW!"

"No..." Celestia said.

"What kind of magic?"

"The magic of... Friendship.

Yep. Kinda like a filler chapter, if you will. If you hate fillers, sorry about this! But I need smooth transition between major parts of the story, and it'll flow better this way.

Thanks for reading! Review and favorite if you want!

7. Maze

Hi guys! It's been quite a while, my apologies! I just have so much to do... But I need a break anyway, to just relax and catch up on my story.

Because, you know, I ball so hard. And mother truckers try to find me.

Dat sheet cray, dat sheet cray, dat sheet cray... Dat-sheet-cray.

Yeah, you probably think I'm a weirdo if you haven't heard Paris before. By Jay Z. I mention that song in so many of my author's notes... BUT IT'S SUCH A GOOD SONG...

But anyway. Enjoy!

This is absolutely ridiculous.

Konan stood in a long hallway with her Akatsuki teammates, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Twilight, Applejack, and Fluttershy.

"Okay, Aka... Aka..." Twilight stuttered.

"Akatsuki." Konan cut in blankly.

"YES! Atakusik."

Konan almost rolled her eyes. Inside, she was slapping herself silly.

"We plan to introduce you to the magic of FRIENDSHIP!" Twilight let her wings flap out dramatically, and each of her friends stamped a hoof and held their heads high.

"F*cking dramatic entrance... Ain't nobody got time fo' dat!"

She coughed, but retracted her wings and began to speak again.

"I've noticed a lot about this... team. You, Heedin. You talk so violently, nobody wants to listen to you. Plus, you don't respect anyone."

"HEY! BITCH, YOU WANT RESPECT, I'LL GIVE YA-"

A piece of duct tape magically floated towards Hidan, and stuck firmly to his muzzle.

"MMM! MMPHMMPH!"

"That's better. Kaku...zoop. You are getting in the way a little too often. Try to exercise a little self-control. There is no need to jump into every situation that you find.''

Kakuzu growled, and his stitches started to come alive. With a burst of magic and ice, they were frozen still.

"That proves my point. You're too fast to act. Deidari."

"It's DEIDARA, hmmm!"

"Indeed. Daideria."

You could hear the mouths on his hooves rustling with clay.

"You also act rashly, as Kakuzoop over there. But I've seen your style of fighting... We almost never battle in Ponyville, and our magic is used for practical things. But you don't even use magic from your horn, you just find these white bombs of different shapes and explode them on people."

"Grrr, hmmm. Respect my art, because it's not just a fighting style, hmmm. It's a way of life! Isn't that right, my man?!"

"One couldn't really call those hideous bombs ART."

Deidara gasped, and lowered his head in anger.

"Grrr... EXPLOSIONS ARE THE TRUE ART! The bombs are just the lovely casings that they are put in before being revealed to the WORLD, HMMM!"

"I don't find smoke and fire very artistic."

''DAMMIT, SASORI, HMMM! I SHOULD BLOW YOU TO-"

"Another problem with you, Sassoi. You argue with Daideria here too much."

"IT'S DEIDARA, HMMM!"

"Moving on, to Itachi here."

"There's nothing wrong with him!" Rarity chirped.

"Actually... Rarity's wrong. You shut yourself in too much. Help out sometimes. The meaning of teamwork is to work together."

Itachi blinked, but made no other mood. He knew it was true.

"And Kimase."

"KISAME."

"Sorry. Kasime. You are easily aggravated, AND you like to blame others and make fun of them."

"I only blame people who've done wrong, and that's everyone!"

"Including yourself."

"NO, I-"

"Moving on again. Zatsu, you're the same way. You aggravate people when they're already down. And Tobi... Sometimes, it's better not to jump in if you're only going to get in the way."

Zetsu snapped his Venus Flytrap Jaws shut, and quietly sank into the ground. Who knew he was such a softie?

As for Tobi, water was starting to stream out of his mask's eye hole.

"REALLY? TOBI ISN'T A GOOD PONY... WAAAAHHHH!"

Twilight muzzle quivered.

"Ugh, I can't do it anymore. I'm breaking their souls." She said, hanging her head.

"You're breaking my f*cking BALLS, BITCH!'' Hidan spat.

"HEY!" Rainbow Dash swooped in front of Twilight. "I have no problem breaking all a' y'alls BALLS! So here's why you're all messed up!"

She flapped her powder blue wings and stuck her hoof out at Hidan.

"Pottymouth."

At Kakuzu.

"No self-control."

Deidara.

"Doesn't think."

Sasori.

"Argues too much."

Itachi.

"Shut-in."

Kisame.

"Jerk."

Zetsu.

"Bothersome."

Tobi.

"Useless."

Rainbow Dash finally pointed her hoof at Pein and Konan.

"Paper flower... Colder than ice."

Konan ALMOST frowned. But, god forbid she ever make a facial expression that gave off the fact that she was capable of giving off emotions.

"Orange head... You're... a clumsy doofus."

"EHHHHHH?!"

"She just called leader-sama... a doofus..." Zetsu said, popping up from the ground.

"A clumsy one, too..." Itachi said, his eyes wide.

Pein had his head low, orange mane drooping down.

"Well... I guess it's true."

"EHHHHHH?!"

"Jeez, I'm getting really tired of waiting." Naruto said.

Team 7 was sitting in a fancy room with the door locked shut. Inside, there were 4 fluffy canopy beds with satiny purple blankets on them. The tall, crystal windows were lined with gold, and the floor below them was pure marble.

"Wow... I've never been in a castle like this before... Makes me feel like a princess!" Sakura giggled. "And Sasuke's the prince!"

Sasuke just walked away, his hooves clinking on the floor.

"Now, we need to find a way out of here!" Naruto yelled.

"Naruto." Kakashi said.

"What?"

"They don't seem to be hostile towards us. Their two queens/princesses are just upset that we were fighting. We can just do as they say and get out of here. Because scheming something difficult when we don't have to is just stupid."

"Yeah, Naruto, you idiot!" Sakura growled.

"EH?!''

"Cut it out." Sasuke said, giving a murderous glance to the both of them.

"Ooh..."

"Team 7." Came a booming voice from outside the room's door. With in a second, it swung open to reveal princess Luna.

"You will be held captive here until my sister decides what to do with you."

"Alright," Kakashi said, looking at her through a lazy black eye. "We'll be here if you... need us."

'"Eeep!" Luna squeaked, blushing. She then regained her composure and bowed. After a moment, she was gone.

"Wow, Kakashi-sensei, you sure can charm girls." Naruto said, looking up at Kakashi.

But Kakashi already had his muzzle buried in an Icha Icha Paradise book.

"WHAT?!" The Akatsuki yelped.

"We said we were gonna give ya' friendship trainin', and we MEANT IT!" Applejack said. "This here is your first test!"

The 10 Akatsuki ponies stood in front of thousands of lush green hedges... It was a MAZE.

"How... How does this work...?" Itachi asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Well, ya' partner goes up to that cloud up there." Applejack pointed to a large, fluffy cloud a little distance away from the maze.

"And...?"

"You go through the maze, trying to find the center and retrieve some treasure. Your partner has to give you instructions to find it... "

"WOW... That sounds really EASY. And pathetic!" Kisame channeled chakra into his hooves, and bounced up onto the cloud. Surprisingly, it supported his weight, and he didn't crash through.

"What if we DON'T want to do this?" Kakuzu hissed.

"Well, ya' see the sparkly magenta sky?"

He looked up. The sky was magenta indeed.

"Well, that's Twilight's magic. She's not letting you out. You can try to escape, but we all know that ya' won't. Plus, ya' probably can't use battle magic on it or whatever."

"Why are they so dead set on teaching us friendship, anyway, hmmm?" Deidara grumbled.

"Because this is PONYVILLE. A town for making friends. Do ya' know what the worst thing in life is? Not being able to HAVE friends. And without FRIENDS, all the fun is sucked outta your life! And we want everyone to be happy."

"WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE SO MUCH?!"

"Because that's what friends DO FOR EACH OTHER."

Deidara shut his muzzle. He looked to the ground, and looked at all his teammates. Did they make him happy? Would they do things for him?

He sighed. "Fine, hmmm, we'll try your stupid game."

"INDEED." Pein boomed from behind. "We WILL increase teamwork."

"GREAT! Now split up, y'all! It's time to do this!"

After half an hour, the Akatsuki were assembled. The reason it took so long was because each team kept quarreling over who would guide and who would follow.

"Alright! Remember, try to find the center of the maze and get the prize! And there are obstacles and monsters out there, so be careful!" Applejack hollered. "And a one, two, THREE!"

The ponies took off into the maze, surprisingly eager. Konan, Tobi, Itachi, Sasori, and Hidan were the maze runners, and Pein, Zetsu, Kisame, Deidara, and Kakuzu were the directors.

"Konan. Left."

"TOBI... Go past the delicious bunny and keep straight..."

"My MAN! Right, hmmm!"

"Hidan, you dimwit, obviously you should go left."

"ITACHI! Straight!"

After about 10 minutes of directing around the maze, Kisame started to get bored.

"Hey... What say we spice things up a little?" He whispered to Zetsu.

"Huh?"

"WELL, everyone is doing what we're telling them to, right? So what if we..."

Kisame started to whisper a little more into what looked like Zetsu's ear.

"Sounds... Fun... Kukukuku..." He said.

"Alright, let's do it. ITACHI! Go right!"

Itachi followed, yet "right" was the WRONG direction.

"Tobi, left."

"You're almost there, just go straight!"

"Come on, you're getting close. Go right."

The two mindlessly followed for a few minutes, and never realized that they were going in circles the entire time.

"Hey, Zetsu? Is anything coming up- AGH!"

Zetsu peered down at Tobi. Itachi was coming up the rear, looking at him.

"Tobi. What is it?"

"B..."

"Burglars?" Red seeped into Itachi;s eyes.

"B..."

"Bad people?"

"B..."

"WHAT IS IT?"

"BEETLE!"

In front of them stood a giant, ugly brown horned beetle the size of a bus.

"AAAAHHH!" Tobi screamed, running past Itachi and away.

Itachi shivered inside. He had always hated bugs, especially beetles. He remembered that unfortunate incident with an Aburame and some lettuce.

With that, he turned and ran away. FAR AWAY.

"AAAAHHHH! BEETLES SCARE TOBI!" He wailed, flailing his legs as he ran.

Itachi was petrified, too. But he kept silent.

The beetle scuttled towards them at an alarming rate. It was closing in.

"GO RIGHT, YOU TWO!" Kisame and Zetsu yelled together.

They both followed...

And hit a DEAD END.

Itachi growled, and almost formed a hand signal, when he remembered.

Jutsu won't work inside this stupid dome. CRAP!

The beetle was getting closer and closer, its ugly mandibles snapping hungrily. The black eyes of it glinted, and soon, the beetle's shadow loomed over the two ninja ponies.

"They led us here..." Itachi thought angrily. He was FURIOUS.

"Oh no... It's all over for Tobi..." Tobi whined.

They were both too stunned to act. How often do you see bus sized beetles, anyway?

It was closing in on them. They backed up, close against the wall.

The sharp mandibles of the bug were less than a foot away from the quivering faces of the two ninja ponies.

Kisame wasn't looking. He was too busy laughing at the look on Itachi's face. He didn't know that they were scared to death.

Snap snap, went the beetle as it became uncomfortably close to the two.

"Tobi... it's been nice knowing you... such a pathetic way to die..."

"TOBI IS SO SCARED! ITACHI, HOLD TOBI!"

"We really are going to hell, aren't we...? Well-"

"SHINRA TENSEI!"

And, that's the end of this chapter. CLIFFHANGER. WOOOH.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed! I'll write sooner this time, PROMISE!

8. Honesty

HOOOOLD UP. Did TheCsquared just bring Friendship really IS magic BACK?!

You bet! Because I just recently got into this great fanfiction, and just as I started getting super into it, IT STOPPED DEAD.

DA EFF?

I was like, "NOOOOOOO! How could the author do this to the readers, WTF is up with this cliffhanger OMG!"

But then I realized...

I'm the biggest hypocrite EVER.

Because I'M a writer too, and I just left all of you guys hanging on that beetle part... I'm SORRY! I've just been getting used to school and stuff, and just... BLECH.

But, I think I have pockets of free time here and there, so I'll use those opportunities to write more chapters of this story.

WOOT WOOT!

So, sit back, and read! I've delayed long enough!

"SHINRA TENSEI!"

The wild whoosh of wind blasted the giant beetle off its feet, sending it tumbling backwards and into a bush. A swift stab in the face sent it back to the depths of hell.

Pein turned around, his eyes looking murderous.

"Whose idea... was this?"

Itachi and Tobi were following directions, like they were told. Kisame and Zetsu could see everything from above, especially a giant beetle. So...

As soon as he heard hysteric laughter coming from the cloud above him, he knew what was up.

With a quick nin- jump, Pein had bowled the two ponies over and pinned them down with his hooves.

"And what do you two think is so FUNNY...?" He hissed.

Shit... The two thought.

Suddenly, the cloud they were on disappeared into nothingness, and all the observation ponies crashed to the ground.

"ANSWER ME! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"

Normally, Pein wouldn't have been so harsh and loud, but when his teammates LIVES were at stake for foolish pranks, he'd turn into a monster.

"Leader- sama, nobody got hurt. It's not a big deal." Kisame chuckled shakily, trying to calm him down. Zetsu stayed silent.

Pein hissed. Or, made a strange noise that sounded like helium escaping from a balloon.

Can ponies hiss? Because I think he was trying to hiss like he does when he's human, but in this form, it doesn't work...

"Y'all are hopeless, aren't ya?" Applejack walked up to the ninja ponies, stopping Kisame's train of thought.

"Really, a prank like that? You two would really risk killing some of y'all's BEST FRIENDS for a couple o' laughs? Do they mean nothing to ya?"

All eyes were on the orange pony, her green eyes solemn and disappointed. Twilight Sparkle was looking down on them, literally.

"These two apparently don't value some of our best teammates. Honestly, a stunt like this? How could you even think this was a good idea?!" Pein said.

"Leader- sama... We were just trying to entertain ourselves, and we thought Itachi and Tobi could fight it off..." Zetsu didn't meet Pein's furious lavender eyes.

''They were in too much shock to lift a finger against the giant beetle! You two... I ought to..." Pein growled again and positioned his hooves in a 'Shinra- Tensei' stance.

"NO!" Applejack's orange leg stopped his own from further action.

"Things will only get worse if you fight fire with fire. Instead, you two TROUBLEMAKERS go apologize to ya teammates! GO!"

"They're not hurt, why should we-"

"That's what friends DO FOR EACH OTHER!"

"But we didn't even do anything-"

Applejack's eyes flashed. "In the future, Itachi and Tobi might hate ya for trying to kill them as a simple JOKE! Hatred grows and grows after time, and can turn a pony into a MONSTER if left alone to simmer and boil. And if y'all have ever heard of the word REVENGE, and you care about your own lives, I suggest y'all GET ON WITH IT!"

Her tone had finality in it. Kisame himself was not actually sure WHY these foreign ponies were putting in so much effort to fix the team...

But Itachi was a close acquaintance, and maybe even a friend to him. He sure as hell didn't want any Amaterasu up on his ass ten years from now, either.

"Fine... Itachi, sorry." His apology wasn't empty, but it wasn't completely sincere either.

Itachi just stared at him and nodded. Personally, he had been through much worse. Seeing his brother again had made him feel a lot stronger.

But did it even matter? Like Twilight had said, he was as cold and lifeless as ice.

Zetsu had given a raspy apology to Tobi, who had of course accepted it happily. He proceeded to yank the green appendages sprouting from Zetsu's shoulders, which was probably more torture than apologizing.

"Now, if you guys are done with all the sappy SHIT, could we please get the f*ck outta here?" Hidan's all too familiar language entered everypony's ears, and they all sighed.

"I hope y'all have learned something... Tricking someone is just like LYING TO THEM... Givin' em a false truth and leading them into something terrible is LYING. And HONESTY is something you absolutely need to be a friend."

The entire Akatsuki listened to her words. They were true. But, was it so simple to trust when you came from a world where it could mean your death?

This is truly a world of friendship...

"What IS THIS?" Sakura sniffed at the little cake on the plate in front of her. A cute little pyramid of pink substance was perched atop it. When she licked it, it tasted sweet and fluffy on her tongue. Like dango, but much sweeter...

"Apparently, they're called cupcakes." Kakashi said, removing his muzzle from his own little cake. "The cream at the top is called frosting." He looked like a masked 3rd hokage with the frosting hanging from his chin.

"It's... GOOD!" Naruto mumbled between fast bites.

Sasuke just "hmphed" like he always did, but you could see little flecks of cake in his raven mane.

So even the coldest man on the team can enjoy this food... Kakashi thought. He wondered how Sasuke had stayed so calm being around his brother. Maybe he had matured, or was just ignoring Itachi out of childish stubbornness.

"Ya know, it's kinda getting stuffy in here. We've been inside this stinking room for an entire DAY. Shouldn't we ask the princess or something to let us out?"

"Naruto, use your head. Four "foreign ponies who can use powerful battle magic" running around a peaceful town full of weak citizens? Do you really think they would let us out?"

"Well, I gotta get outta here. I need the wind in my face, the rustling of leaves around me, I need - I need a goddamn bowl of ramen!"

"Stop being selfish, Naruto! The princess gave us these desserts, and we should be thankful they're not locking us up in prison cells!"

"But-"

"Let it go." Sasuke's voice entered the air, and he was clearly annoyed by Naruto's constant blabbering.

''I'm gonna have WITHDRAWL symptoms or something! I'll get shaky, and start to breathe really fast... RAMEN!" The ninja- pony's blue eyes went wide with energy. He was working himself up.

"Naruto, try to stick it out a little longer."

"WE COULD BE STUCK HERE FOREVER!"

"Oh, for god's sakes, NARUTO! CALM YOURSELF!" Sakura yelled.

"Ramen..." Naruto began to quiver, but sat down and shut up eventually. "I NEED IT!"

Suddenly, a loud "CLANG" could be heard from outside the door.

''WHAT IS ALL THAT NOISE?!" A voice boomed.

"Looks like you've pissed off the princess," Sasuke grumbled.

"HOW DID WE EVEN GET HERE, HMMM?!" Deidara yelled. One second, he was getting lectured about honesty in a sparkly magenta dome. A second later, he's lying in a tufted chair getting his mane washed with sparkly SHAMPOO.

He looked to his sides. Pein was looking angrier than a hornet over there. His orange mane looked fabulous, though, silky and shining UNLIKE the crazy, spiky mess it was most of the time. And were his piercings PINK?

On his other side, Itachi was getting his raven mane washed with shampoo and warm water. When he took a look at the Uchiha's face, it looked like he was actually ENJOYING it. His eyes were closed, as if he were enjoying a massage. But, the length of Itachi's hair probably put a lot of weight on his head, so it must have felt good to just rest.

"YO, hmmm! Sasori!"

"Help... me..." Deidara heard Sasori's voice, and it was TOTALLY STRAINED.

Deidara's eyes darted around, searching for his friend.

He finally found him... GETTING SQUEEZED INTO A CRAZY OUTFIT!

Mind skidding to a halt, all Deidara could do was stare dumbly at his choking partner. A red tie was fastened around his neck, and the fancy purple haired pony was trying to force a tight vest onto his torso.

And that vest looked like it had come straight from Candy Land.

It was striped and polka- dotted, in a rainbow of pastel colors.

"Let me... GO..." He wheezed.

"UNHAND HIM! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING, HMMM?!"

"I thought this would be a great way to relax after your little run-in with the giant beetle! Scalp massages are very calming, and so is trying on new outfits!" She sang, while yanking the ridiculous vest further down Sasori's body.

"He's obviously in pain, hmmm!"

Rarity took a look at Deidara. It was impossible to take a pony seriously if their head was dripping wet with pink suds and water.

"Oh, but doesn't it look so good on him? With a final pull that made Sasori yelp, the vest was on. "He looks almost as nice as Itachi did when I created that 'suave flamenco dancer' outfit for him!"

She resumed her non-stop chirping on how fashion was a great stress reliever. Deidara just sighed, and his eyes fell to look at Sasori again.

He was on the ground, passed out.

"Sorry, princess, we uh, w-we were just talking!" Sakura said nervously.

Luna's dark figure stood in the doorway, her eyes burning holes through the ninja pony's faces.

Sakura turned to Kakashi.

Could really use some ladies man charm now, Kakashi- sensei...

Before she could blink, Kakashi was in front of Luna.

"We're terribly sorry, Princess, about the noise. But one of my students is in need of sunshine. Could we trouble you for a little walk outside?"

"Y-you could escape... And wreak havoc around Canterlot. Not around here, you won't."

"My dear, I was hoping that you'd come with us."

Sakura's trained ninja ears could hear Luna's breath start to change.

If she was a ninja being interrogated by someone like Kakashi, her village wouldn't stand a chance, she thought, inner Sakura cackling at the princess's pathetic-ness.

"Gua...Guards..." Luna stuttered to the armor- clad unicorns behind her. They stood up straighter, waiting for her command.

"Let them out."

YAY! That brings us to the end of this chapter! Hope you enjoyed~

9. Walking with a technical criminal

Hello! Did you miss me?

I was reading my past chapters after not updating for so long. The whole time I was like, "I'm effin hilarious." (and also, "I'm an idiot for not revising my writing more often).

Just kidding. I probably laughed because my writing has the same weird sense of humor that I do. OH WELL!

Also, my writing style has changed a little. Did I- Did I MATURE? Let's see, 69 jokes, fart jokes, and 'man walks into a bar' jokes I still find funny... Nope, I'm about as mature as I was at the beginning of the fanfiction. OKAY!

This is getting weird, I should stop.

goldenlucario1, thanks for telling me about Pein's OOC- ness! That will be fixed. I enjoy constructive criticism, it'll help shape my story into something great.

To every reader, reviewer, favoriter, whatever -ers are left, I appreciate you staying to read this fanfiction. It makes me happy to see people enjoying my writing. That is, if you are.

Alright, I'll quit the rambling, you guys are probably getting sick of it. Enjoy this chapter!

Team 7 and Princess Luna were walking through Canterlot, looking like a basket of fruit. You had Sasuke and Luna, looking like dark blueberries, Kakashi, looking like the inside of a coconut, Sakura, pink like grapefruit, and Naruto the hyperactive tangerine.

And the fact that PRINCESS LUNA was walking about with foreign ponies who had almost destroyed Ponyville Beach was enough to make the passerby stare.

Even with my guards here, I don't quite feel safe, Luna thought. I possess powerful magic, but I'm not completely sure about these foreign ponies. They almost ruined Ponyville Beach, along with that band of ponies called the Akatsuki.

She glanced at Kakashi. He was watching his team members argue with each other.

He's very mysterious... Like a dark prince. I-

Luna's train of thought stopped in its tracks. She couldn't be attracted to him, he was a foreigner, and technically a CRIMINAL.

Technically... But he's so charming. And intriguing. Hell, I IMPRISONED him. In a nice room, but imprisoned nonetheless. Yet he's being polite, and wished for me to walk with him! What could this mean? Is he possibly attracted to me-

"Are you alright?"

Luna's train of thought almost crashed into a tree.

"...Huh?" She said, most unlady- like.

"You've been silent."

She looked at Kakashi, who had an obsidian eye set on her. His face was unreadable.

"OH! I... ah, yes, I'm fine."

His eye was unsettling her. It was analyzing her, piercing her. She looked away.

"Tell me..." That eye was burning a hole into her head. If she looked in a mirror, she'd probably find her mane on fire.

"What is it like being a princess?"

Luna turned to face him. "What do you mean?" That was dumb.

"What do you do?"

Oh. She groaned inwardly she just HAD to respond with something stupid to him.

"Well, I don't do much 'ruling', per say. Celestia, my sister does that. I have lots of free time, so I read and study in the castle libraries, mostly over the history of Equestria. I also develop spells. Magic is fascinating. I also enjoy seeing ponies work together and befriend each other. It's beautiful, friendship-"

She paused. Great, now she must be boring him with her rambling! Could she be any MORE embarrassed?

"Friendship IS a wonderful thing." He said.

Did she dare face him?

Apparently, she did.

He was staring fondly at his students. They were all walking side by side, talking. She saw the pink one punch the orange one in the muzzle.

Kakashi chuckled. They were bonding.

Luna went pink. How is he so handsome with almost his entire face covered?

"Princess Luna, I believe you were telling me about what you do as princess." He said, looking to her again.

"I wouldn't want to bore you..." She said uneasily.

"I wouldn't ask if I wasn't interested." She could see faint traces of a smile forming under his mask.

Not even Fluttershy could tame the horde of butterflies in Luna's stomach.

I feel like this is Canterlot High all over again, She thought.

"... Well... I also keep watch over the different villages of Equestria..."

"HEY EVERYONE! I BROUGHT CUPCAKES!"

Pinkie pie bounced into the salon, carrying a giant paper bag on her back.

"Oh, that's lovely, Pinkie! I've wanted a sweet treat for a while now! Did you get my favorite?"

"Of COURSE! Vanilla, white frosting, blueberries and purple sprinkles! I brought cupcakes for everyone else too!"

The paper bag glowed sparkly blue, and was levitated off of Pinkie's back.

"Mmmm, these look absolutely DELICIOUS!" Rarity's magic lifted a dozen cupcakes out of the bag, and distributed them to the Akatsuki. She held her own at her muzzle, and took a dainty bite.

"I remember these, hmmm! Tasty as always, right my man?" Deidara chirped.

"They're good..." Sasori mumbled.

"Go on, everypony! Take a bite!" With a maniacal laugh, Pinkie buried her nose into her own cupcake.

"SWEET JASHIN ABOVE! THIS SHIT IS FIT FOR THE GODS!" Hidan yelled, scarfing down his dessert.

Pein's eyes flickered to Konan, remembering the first cupcake they had shared together. He had licked that frosting off her muzzle. And then, they went to sleep next to each other, and-

And then Twilight FOUND US. Yes, that was unpleasant, he thought, frowning.

He gazed at all the members of the Akatsuki.

They looked absolutely RIDICULOUS.

Deidara's blonde mane was tied into a strange side ponytail, and he had a rather flashy emerald scarf tied around his neck.

Sasori, standing next to him, had a big scarf on as well, but his wild red hair had been straightened and combed so much that it covered one of his eyes.

Hidan's usually neat hair had been ruffled into a layered mess, and he had a tie knotted sloppily around his neck. Was Rarity going for the post- boogity woogity look? (If ya know what I mean?)

A navy fedora was perched atop Kakuzu's head, and his long black hair had been tied into a ponytail. It modeled Itachi's mane.

Zetsu's leaf- like extenstions protruding from his shoulders had been lined with tiny pink rhinestones. They looked like small stars surrounding a giant frowning face.

Tobi was wearing the most HIDEOUS saddle. Is he going to collapse from the weight of all that ribbon and lace?! Pein thought.

Kisame's spiky hair was tamed, and it looked like it was... clean! He had a coral necklace hanging loosely on his neck, and wore flowery bracelets.

Itachi was the only exception. Rarity had dressed him in a maroon cloak with small diamonds adorning the edges. He looked like a prince.

Pein looked around, and found a mirror. He gazed into it hesitantly, afraid of what he might see.

His normally shaggy hair had been slicked back, with the exception of a few loose strands. Pein was glad to see that his piercings had not been adorned by disgusting sparkly shit (as Hidan would have probably put it). A light blue tie was fastened around his neck, along with a white collar.

Why hello, gorgeous, He thought, looking at his reflection. Normally, he wouldn't have been so vain, but the new hairstyle and the nice tie had really changed his look! Maybe he could get used to a pampering now and then.

"My darling, you look absolutely WONDERFUL!" Rarity chirped, interrupting Pein's admiring of himself.

He turned around, as did the rest of the Akatsuki. Konan was standing there.

Almost every single Akatsuki member's muzzle gaped open after seeing her.

Konan's flowy blue mane had been curled, and smaller paper flowers were woven into it. Her eyes were as striking as ever, and the dress she was wearing...

The dress was white and sleek, with a violent band of orange cutting through the middle. It had multicolored jewels decorating the bottom, and Konan look DAMN FINE in it.

"Holy... F-F...*ck..." Hidan said weakly.

100% loaded... 80% loaded... 50% loaded... 20% loaded... 5% loaded... SHUTDOWN!

Pein's thought process had just died.

She- I- wha- GAH!

All he could do was stare at her through blank eyes. He looked the same as always, so nobody could tell he was gawking.

Except for Konan.

She shifted nervously, and finally turned to Rarity.

"Thank you. But, what is this all for?"

Rarity giggled. "It's for the comedy party being hosted by Flim and Flam tonight!"

"... Excuse me?"

"Flim and Flam! Two troublesome twins who make TERRIBLE apple juice, but make absolutely HILARIOUS JOKES! NYAHAA!" Pinkie pie chimed in.

"You'll be leaving about-" Rarity was cut off by the sound of nickering at the door.

"NOW!" She ushered the dressed- up Akatsuki out of the salon, and helped them into the carriage that had just arrived.

"Have fun! Make jokes, LAUGH! NYAHA! We'll catch up with you later!" Pinkie Pie shrieked to them.

With that, the carriage soared into the sky, and disappeared in a sparkle of light.

There's another chapter for you! Hope you enjoyed!

Please, leave a review or a comment on the story! I'd enjoy hearing some feedback!

This was a bit of a filler chapter, but smooth transition is always good, right?

10. Comedy Hall

Back!

I'm sorry for my prolonged absence, but I'm here now! I'm so thankful for your patience and stuff, it's great!

Hope you had a gret New Years. Make sure you keep up with your resolutions!

On with the chapter! Enjoy!

Man, overkill on the exclamation points...

"Ummm... Leader-sama...?" Tobi asked his leader, looking at the building before them curiously.

"What?"

"What's this?"

"It appears to be some sort of grand hall."

Itachi blinked. "So, this is where the comedy party is being hosted."

The building looked like a mix between a tavern and a church. It had tall windows with lavender shutters, and was lit with mellow torches.

"Why are we doing this again, hmmm...?" Deidara said, staring at the tavern- church through half lidded eyes.

It was Rarity's idea to get them to go to this party. What is this for? Pein thought. Having the Akatsuki in an enclosed space together would definitely be a bad idea.

No matter. If it would help to bond the Akatsuki, then he would do anything. It was a step on the stairs to success. If he were ever to obtain the Kyuubi, teamwork would be essential.

"Alright... Let's enter."

The dolled-up Akatsuki ponies trotted up to the large wooden doors of the building and pushed them open.

"WOW!"

The inside of the tavern- church was... beautiful. Strangely, it had the perfect mix of rough and refined. Dark wooden floorboards and low hanging chandeliers paired with twisted marble pillars gave the large room a warm, friendly feeling. Small tables bunched up everywhere in the room.

Beyond all the tables, there was a small stage, which was probably where the joke telling and comedy would be. A short microphone and stand were the only items on the stage.

The Akatsuki were so caught up in observing their surroundings that they did not notice the chatter in the air all around them.

"Look at that Alicorn and her dress! Wow..."

"Who are they? Foreign royalty?"

"All of them are so GOOD LOOKING!"

The majority of the ponies around were in awe. Who were these ponies? They'd never seen them before... But two were Alicorns, so they must be important.

Many stopped to bow down to the Akatsuki.

Konan walked next to Pein, and shot a furtive glance at him.

Surprise shot through her like lightning.

N-no way... He was smiling?!

She looked away quickly. That smile... He was enjoying this!

But... That smile wasn't saying, "I'm above you all"... It was a kind, gentle, POLITE SMILE!

WHAT?!

So, he WASN'T acting like a stuck up douche, but being GRATEFUL?!

This was a first.

Konan's face had the same level of emotion as a rock, but her mind was running at MAX SPEED.

Pein, the king, no, GOD, was smiling humbly to people who bowed down to him? He was actually being NICE! Was this possible?

"Konan."

Something in her mind snapped, and she turned to face the person who had said her name.

Pein.

"Aren't you going to sit down?" He asked.

"I-" She looked at herself. Konan was trying to walk into a chair. The rest of the Akatsuki had been walking to find a seat and wait for the comedy show to start, but she had kept on walking mindlessly.

Embarrassed, she quickly sat down.

''Are you alright?" Itachi asked, looking at her with slight concern.

"I'm fine."

"You sure?" Kisame chimed in. "It's a little early to be acting drunk, now, isn't it?"

Konan's amber eyes squinted slightly, but she ignored his dumb comment.

"I don't think you're the comedian tonight, are you, Kisame?"

"Why, you-"

"HELLO, EVERYPONY!" Two loud voices yelled. Everyone's eyes flashed to the stage. The lights in the church-tavern had dimmed, and a bright spotlight beamed down to focus on two figures.

"I'm Flim!"

"And I'm Flam!"

"YOUR FAVORITE COMEDY PONIES!" They both shouted in unison. The crowd cheered, and the ponies on stages chuckled.

"We're glad to be back, everypony!"

Flim was a tall, butter colored unicorn with a candy cane colored mane. He donned a blue and white striped vest, along with a black bow tie and a straw hat. His cutie mark was alf of a granny smith apple.

Flam looked exactly the same, except he had a maroon moustache on his muzzle.

"I didn't know ponies could grow facial hair!" Tobi said, staring at Flam.

The two continued to talk. "Say, everypony, what do you call ponies that hang out in the dark?Flim asked, smiling.

"WHAT?" The audience asked in unison.

"NIGHTMARES!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" A wave of laughter burst out from the audience. Apparently, refresments were being served among them, because the Akatsuki could hear munching and clinking of glasses.

"That was the worst joke ever..." Sasori said, staring at the stage lazily.

"Gotta agree with you on that one, my man." Deidara added.

The two identical ponies onstage continued to make more corny jokes.

"What did the horse say when it fell?!"

"I've fallen and I can't GIDDYUP!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"What do you get when you cross a horse and a bee?"

"NEIGH- BUZZ! Get it? Neighbors?!"

"GWAHAHAHAHA!"

"What disease was the horse scared of getting?"

"HAY FEVER!"

The audience roared at that one.

"Is this pony humor?" Itachi asked, clearly irritated. He had low tolerance for stupidity.

"If it is, I've lost faith in this species." Kakuzu said.

"Why are we here, hmmm?" Deidara sweatdropped.

I'm guessing Rarity thought it would help us bond if we laughed together, Konan thought. But we're not laughing at all.

"I could blow the f*cking roof off this place. Forget the dumb ponies." Hidan said.

"As if, you twat. You're probably just as bad as they are. " Kisame muttered.

Oh, great. Kisame just lit a fire.

"What'd you say, you miserable little-"

"Both of you. I forbid argument." Pein said, his voice cold as steel.

Suddenly, Hidan got up from his seat.

"I'll show you, little mermaid. I can be twice as funny as the damn idiots up there!" He bolted up to the stage.

"OUTTA THE F*CKING WAY!" He yelled, knocking Flim and Flam over. The entire audience flinched at his language.

"Why did the pony need to gargle?... He was feeling HORSE!"

This joke was too corny for even the pony audience. Kakuzu facepalmed at his failing partner.

"See, you idiot! you're even worse than the Flamp and Flimp!" Kisame howled.

"Oh, I got jokes. I got TONS of motherf*cking jokes! You want funny?! I'll give you funny, bitch!" Hidan growled, a vein bulging in his forehead.

"You know, sometimes, FISH ARE STUPID. Why is this?"

"Why?"

"THEY DON'T SWIM IN SCHOOLS!"

The audience chuckled and snickered at that one.

Smirking, Hidan continued to make offensive fish jokes. He took a look at Kisame's face, one of pure disgust and anger.

He was basically making fun of his teammate.

"Hey, who's smarter, dolphins or sharks? Dolphins, but don't tell sharks that! They might eat you!"

Well, now Hidan knew that the audience was into bad jokes, because they guffawed hard at that one. He wasn't even sure if it made any damn sense, but it managed to get under Kisame's skin.

"BITCH, THE SHARKS ARE AN INTELLIGENT SPECIES! AND YOU'RE A TERRIBLE JOKE TELLER, JASHIN MUST BE UPSET HE HAS SUCH A DUMB FOLLOWER!"

Hidan threw the microphone aside. "What did you f*cking say?! What the f*ck do you know about Jashin- sama?!"

"Only that he's an absolute waste of time to worship! Sacrificing?! How the hell did his dumb followers think that SACRIFICING would do any good?!"

"THIS IS F*CKING BLASPHEMY, YOU HEAR ME?!"

"What, to a god that isn't even REAL?!"

Kisame burst forth on the stage and shoved Hidan aside.

"Akatsuki! What's the difference between Hidan and a clock?!"

Pein stared at him disapprovingly, and yelled for him to come and sit back down. The rest of the Akatsuki had pokerfaces on.

The audience just shifted uneasily, scared of the ninja ponies on the stage.

"Although they both have faces and arms, ONE IS A DEADBEAT IDIOT WHO CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!"

Kisame saw Kakuzu and Zetsu snicker at that. Even the audience laughed, watching Hidan's face heat up in anger.

"You SHUT THE F*CK UP, TUNA FISH!" Hidan jumped onto Kisame, ad they both started to claw and beat each other in a flurry of hooves and heads.

"BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME?!"

"YOU STARTED IT, YOU RELIGIOUS FREAK!"

"NO, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO F*CKING PROVOKED ME YOU DIPSHIT!"

Flim and Flam had disappeared while Kisame and Hidan battled, and they showed up again with a tall stack of apple pies.

"And now, some pie throwing-" Flam had started to say, before Kisame grabbed all of them and started flinging them at Hidan.

"You insult the marvelous species that are SHARKS! You don't know a THING about them!" He roared, chucking a pie.

Hidan dodged it, his ninja reflexes keeping him safe. "YOU insulted Jashin-sama as well, you f*cking PRICK! YOU CALLED ME AN IDIOT AS WELL, YOU MOTHERF*CKING HYPOCRITE! You're twice as stupid, FISH FOOD!"

"AT LEAST I HAVE A BRAIN!"

"LITTLE MERMAID!"

"THICK HEAD!"

"GILL- FACE!"

MOTHERF*CKER!"

"Oh, you want to play like that, you *********************************************************?!" (Not gonna write here)

Kisame skidded to a halt, all his pies gone. He could remember the laughs that came from the audience as Hidan ridiculed his species. It was SHAMEFUL. It was a DISGRACE. It made him feel like complete SHIT. Because, they were basically laughing... at him.

He wanted to give everyone who laughed a SHARK BOMB in the ass. He wanted to strangle Hidan for making fun of him. The jokes he made about Hidan were just payback.

They both stood on opposite sides of the stage, covered in steaming apple filling and crust bits. The unsuspecting audience thought it was all an act, but the look in the two ninja's eyes made them seem like they were out for BLOOD.

"Hidan, I ALWAYS HATED YOU!"

"YOU THINK I LIKED YOU EITHER?!"

They both growled, ready to unleash ninjutsu. It wasn't just a petty battle anymore.

Suddenly, they heard wheels rolling. Rolling, and rolling, and rolling from behind them. Their heads whipped around to see a giant something, charging at high speed towards them.

"It's a... a... A...?!" THey both yelped.

"SUPER MEGA ULTRA AWESOME PARTY CANNON CHARGE UP... AND... FIRE!"

Well, that's it for now. Hope you've enjoyed!

11. Laughter

I'm BAAAAAAACK~!

But it's not me you want. It's the story. So enjoy!

Kisame thought he knew what the term "blown away" meant. He had battled countless ninja with explosive ninjutsu, and gotten his ass beat by too many of Deidara's bombs, but he STILL didn't know the true definition of being blown away. And after that giant shot was fired, he was finally enlightened.

To put it simply: Shit got REAL.

A massive blast cut through the air, shoving ponies aside like bugs on a windshield. The air pressure was enough to break a hole through a solid brick wall. The force of the shot could give Shinra Tensei a run for its money. "GET DOWN!" Itachi yelled, ducking into a defensive position. The ninja- ponies hunkered down and covered their heads with their hooves.

It wasn't just air that shot out, though. Tons of multicolored streamers and shimmering bits of confetti launched away at the ceiling, and came raining down on everyone. After one more giant poof, BALLOONS were floating around as well.

"NYAHAH! I LOVE IT WHEN I GET TO USE THAT MOVE!" Someone shrieked hysterically. "Good for parties, good for capture!"

The Akatsuki waited for all the flying party items to clear before they dared look at the source of the voice. It was, predictably, PINKIE PIE.

But not just Pinkie Pie. It was Pinkie Pie standing next to a humongous glittery CANNON the size of Gamakichi.

She patted the side of the cannon lovingly, and turned to Kisame and Hidan. They had gotten the worst of the blast, and were stuck in muzzle- high confetti and streamers.

"You two, tut tut tut! You should know better!" Pinkie scolded, smiling. "You shouldn't cause such trouble!"

"YOU WERE F*CKING SPYING ON US, WEREN'T YA, YA DAMN WOMAN?!" Hidan raged.

"I said I would be there to watch you, you know! This was a friendship test!"

"Again with those things?!" It was Kisame's turn to become angry.

Pinkie ignored their complaining and continued. "I knew what you were up to! I saw the entire thing with my own-" She stopped for emphasis, and leaned in very close to them. "-EYESSSSSSSSS. NYAHAH!"

"This is stupid! Now lemme out of these f*ckin' streamers so I can beat Kisame's sorry ASS!"

"As if you could, you son of a bitch!" Kisame barked back.

"ENOUGH! BOTH OF YOU! DO I NEED TO FIRE THE CANNON AGAIN?" Pinkie yelled, her diamond- blue eyes glinting. Her shrieks were enough to shut them both up. "Now be quiet while I lecture you like Twilight said I was supposed to."

The Akatsuki unfolded from their defensive positions, and peered at the three ponies onstage. It was truly a mess up there. You had Pinkie Pie and her wild, crazy self, along with two huge mounds of streamers, and a HUGE cannon. And who could miss the bits of splattered apple pie strewn everywhere? The place was, no doubt, a mess.

They took a look at Pinkie. Surprisingly, the hysterical smile she normally wore was gone. For once, the pink pony looked SERIOUS.

First Pein, now Pinkie Pie, Konan thought, it's signifying the end of the world!

"You know, we brought you here to become better friends. You know, laugh at some good pony jokes together! Laughter is something that can help cure any fear, comfort any pony, and tie us all together! It can turn frowns-" She paused, and frowned. Then, she took her two front hooves and lifted her muzzle into a smile. "UPSIDE DOWN!"

"But," she continued. "Even though you made others laugh, you made one person feel left out and sad. And he was your friend!" She turned to Hidan. "Laughter and jokes... should only be used to help somepony, not harm them! I heard what you two said to each other! It was hurtful, even for me to hear!"

"Laughter is something you need in a friendship. Friends are there because you make them happy. But, with mean jeers, they leave. You want others to laugh with them, not at them, right?"

The two ninja ponies were silent. Both didn't care much for ''sissy shit", but they couldn't deny that this was true. It was just how the human mind worked- er, pony mind? NEVER mind. Pinkie didn't wait to resume talking.

"You should apologize to each other."

"HELL NO! I'm not apologizing to his f*ckin'-"

"Sorry."

Hidan stopped his tirade. He looked at Kisame, who was calmly staring right back. The blue pony's eyes didn't blink, and it looked like he was patiently waiting for Hidan to explode into jeers and curses about how lame he was.

But they didn't come.

"Whatever, tuna- fish."

Nothing could have surprised "tuna-fish" more than that.

"Hidan..." Kakuzu trailed off.

"He..." Sasori gawked at him in disbelief.

"He... HE CAN ACTUALLY SPEAK WITHOUT CURSING?!" Ah, now the Akatsuki were being blown away.

"AW, SHADDUP, YA F*CKIN' BITCHES! It doesn't mean a damn f*cking thing!"

Kisame just snorted. "It's not like I cared anyway..." Flashing Hidan a sharky smile, he continued. "Dimwit."

"WHAT THE F*CK DID YOU SAY, LITTLE MERMAID?" In an instant, the streamers binding the two ripped apart, and they both lunged at each other. But this was a friendly spar, even with Hidan and Kisame spitting death threats while they pummeled.

Pinkie giggled hard, and was soon, quite surprisingly joined by members of the Akatsuki. They were a team, after all.

"Okay! You guys should be going back to Canterlot Castle now! Princess Celestia believes it's better for you to stay under her watch."

"PSHHHH. As it we f*ckin' need it!" Hidan snorted, dodging Kisame's fist.

"There's a carriage here anyway! Come on!" Pein took a look at all of the members of his team. The ninja- ponies looked tired as hell, even though they had barely done anything the entire night.

Guess bad pony jokes can really wear you out, He thought.

With that, the Akatsuki left the tavern- church and filed into a spacious white carriage that brought them all the way back.

"Man, that was tiring.'' Zetsu rasped, rolling his neck.

"Tobi thinks so too!"

"What time is it, hmmm?" Deidara asked with a yawn.

"Time for bed, that is." A warm, gentle voice said behind them. Their heads whipped around to face none other than Princess Celestia herself, smiling at them. "Did you have fun?" She only got blank, emotionless stares in response.

She brushed the awkwardness off like it was dust on her wings.

"Great! Let me show you where you'll be sleeping!"

The princess led them through a series of hallways, rooms, and doors. The Akatsuki were docile little lambs following her until they reached their destination.

"Here we are!" She said, opening two tall double- doors. Inside was a HUGE room, furnished in purple, white, and gold. Purple satin canopy beds lined the cream-colored walls, and several paintings hung around them. The marble floor was cool to the touch, and you could see the reflection of the grand crystal chandelier above them in it. The most beautiful view, though, was the brightly lit city below, which could be admired from a balcony outside.

"Thank you very much," Konan said in a monotone. It was just a formality, anyway. When a complete stranger (basically) not only let you stay in their huge castle, but provided you with a luxurious room as well, there was no doubt that you had to be polite.

"Ah, it's no problem at all!" Celestia said. "I'll leave you all alone now. Good night." With that, she opened the doors with sparkling white magic and left. The clinking of metal could be heard from outside.

Guards, Konan thought. Well, it's to be expected. We are "criminals" after all.

"We're lucky the princess has shown us such kindness." Pein said, his ringed lavender eyes staring straight through all of the Akatsuki's souls. "We should not take it for granted, and try to learn the 'magic of friendship' these ponies speak of."

"They sure have a trust system here, hmmm," Deidara blinked. "We could explode this room at any moment and escape."

"If I would let you, you could. But I will not." Pein said evenly.

"PAH!"

"Let me remind you all once again. Friendship is only a step on the stairs to world peace. We bond together as a team, we become stronger. When we become stronger, the Kyuubi will be ours. And it's so close by, too. The moment we can all work in perfect harmony will be the time for us to take the Nine Tailed Fox."

"Yeah, yeah, enough of your f*ckin' preaching, Leader." Hidan said.

"You do more of it than I do."

"PAH!"

"I'll 'preach' more to you later. Go to sleep."

"So, how'd it go, Pinkie?" Rainbow Dash asked, cocking her head.

"SWELL! Right, Twilight?"

"Definitely. I can tell they're really starting to open up to each other." The purple Alicorn smiled approvingly at Pinkie, and proceeded to give her a high-five.

"So w-what happened?" Fluttershy stuttered.

"Well, they both started telling mean jokes about each other. Then, when Flim and Flam came in with pies, they started having a food fight. Afterward, it seemed like both of them were done with petty fighting and wanted to attack FOR REAL, with that powerful foreign pony magic they have. I could feel the tension in the air... But then, Pinkie here stopped them both with her Mega- party cannon!"

"That's right, I did! They both flew apart!" The pink pony giggled. "But get this, you guys! The blue one, Kishane, or something, apologized on his own! and he wasn't even hesitant! He just stared back at that awful foul-mouthed pony and didn't even attack!"

"Well, that's a relief! Our efforts haven't been for nothin', then!" Applejack hooted. "Probably because he's used to apologizin' for what he's done wrong."

"And the foul-mouthed pony spoke calmly too! He just said 'whatever', but it was a sentence without any bad words in it!"

Twilight nodded. "Now we know who's the bigger pony. You can swallow your pride and admit that you were wrong, and life your life guilt free after. Friendship is all about accepting, isn't it? The wrongs and rights of your peers?"

She got many happy grins in response.

"YEAH!"

And that's it for now, hope you've enjoyed!

Truthfully, I have some friendship issues since I'm probably too sensitive about stuff... Hope the whole part about friendship didn't drone or sound too fake.

Reviews, follows, favorites, anything is appreciated.

SO LONG!

Friendship Really IS Magic

by TheCsquared

Chapters

1. I've had enough

2. Housing

3. Crazy mornings

4. Unexpected guests

5. A wild party

6. The princesses

7. Maze

8. Honesty

9. Walking with a technical criminal

10. Comedy Hall

11. Laughter

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