Neon's Confrontation with a Vampire

After Vinyl Scratch had told him that she was in love with Edward Cullen, Neon Lights decided to do some research about him online.

Apparently he was a pretty famous guy, even having a bunch of books wrote after him along with several movies. There seemed to be a huge fan base for the guy too…and something about vampires? What the hell was a vampire? A website said that they were creatures that sucked blood and were affected by sunlight. It sounded to him like they were wimpy, oversized mosquitoes. Just what did Vinyl see in this guy anyway?

Neon would show her that he was more of a gentle colt than this Cullen guy.

Neon found that Edward Cullen resided in some town named after a utensil and went to confront him. He travelled there and eventually made it to his house. Before Neon could knock on the door, a tiny girl, even tinier than Neon himself, with short brown hair opened it.

Neon couldn't even say hi before she said, "He's over at Bella's house." Then she slammed the door in his face.

What the hell? Neon thought. It was like she was expecting me or something. That's just creepy…

Neon left to go find this Bella girl who wasn't too hard because she was the only girl named Bella in town. He went to her house and she answered the door. She was a bit more normal than the girl he had met earlier, so he was thankful for that.

But when she looked at him she screamed and ran back inside, leaving Neon very confused. A couple of seconds later a tall, tanned guy who looked similar to Xingese people came out. He started attacking Neon immediately and calling him an animated freak.

When Neon had a moment to get a sentence in he screamed, "I didn't come here to pick a fight with you. I just want to pick a fight with Edward Cullen."

The tan boy stopped his assault and asked, "You're looking for Edward?"

"You bet! And I'm going to kick his cutie mark butt when I find him!" Neon screamed.

For some reason the guy smiled with a quiet fit of laughing and told him that Edward had went to go sulk in some meadow a while ago.

Neon, though grateful for the information, was still bewildered by all of this. Nonetheless, he followed the directions the boy gave him and left, yet again, to find Edward Cullen.

A couple of hours later, Neon found the meadow. But no one was there. He stood in the centre of the grassy area and screamed, "Where the Equestria Girls (lol random reference) is he?"

"You shouldn't have come here," a voice called to him.

Neon turned around and saw a figure lurking in the shadows of the trees.

"Hey! Are you that Cullen guy?" Neon demanded.

"My name is Edward Cullen, yes. What is it you want from me?"

Neon pointed his hoof at him and yelled, "I challenge you to a battle!"

"For what reason? I don't even know you." Edward said, staying stubbornly in the shadows.

"Because you pissed me off, that's why!" Neon shouted. "You stole my somepony, you stupid vampire!"

Edward stiffened, "So you know what I am? How did you learn of this?"

"Easy, I just googled you," Neon shrugged. "But that's beside the point. The point is I'm here to kick your cutie mark butt!"

"If you know what I am you should know better than to fight me. If you do it will only end with your death."

"I'll show you! Come out here and face me you coward!"

"Fine. As you wish," Edward sighed. He stepped into the light and said, "Look upon the face of a monster."

Neon's eyes widened at what the sunlight did to his skin. Neon couldn't help but start laughing his butt off, "YOU SPARKLE! Oh, my Equestria! You…SPARKLE!"

The vampire looked at him with a puzzled expression, "Why do you laugh at me? Why do you not fear me?"

"Dude, you're sparkling. I can't take an enemy seriously when he sparkles," Neon said, wiping a tear away from his eye produced by too much laughter.

"I have many other qualities that do make me terrifying, though," Edward said in protest.

"Really? Like what?"

"Well, I have extraordinary strength."

"Wait, I get it now!" Neon said in realization. "That must mean that Discord's a vampire! He has super strength and sparkles! It all makes sense!"

"Umm, okay…" Edward said.

"Oh right! Let's get back to the fight," Neon said, getting back to the task at hand. He had just assumed a fighting stance when someone burst onto the scene.

"Stop!"

Neon paused and looked at the newcomer. His eyes widened, "Vinyl? What are you doing here?"

"I couldn't let you go through with this. Please, don't do this," she asked him pleadingly.

Vinyl turned away from her and said solemnly, "But I have to. This guy stole you away and I can't just give you up that easily."

"But you have me."

Neon turned back to her with a shocked face, "What? But you said that you loved this Cullen guy." She couldn't help but snort at that. Neon frowned at her, "What's so funny?"

"Neon…the guy sparkles! How lame can you get?"

"I'm standing right here," the vampire pointed out.

"Eh, no one cares about you anyway," Vinyl said dismissively. "In fact, why don't you skedaddle? You're hurting my eyes with your disco ball impression."

Edward pouted and left in a gloomy state.

Vinyl turned back to Neon, "What I said before, it was a lie. I was just afraid to tell you before because I didn't know if you felt the same way, but really…you're the one I…love."

Neon smiled at her and she smiled back with a light blush.

"So…" Neon trailed off.

"So…" she mimicked him as they slowly inched towards one another.

"Will you um…" Neon looked away and blushed. "Will you go steady with me?"

Vinyl grinned and said happily, "I thought you'd never ask!" She closed the space between them and leaned in for a kiss. But before that could happen, a meteor came crashing down to Earth and blew them up, ensuring that they would never get their happy ending because I'm evil like that.

Mwahahaha!

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Haha, yes this was a bit crackfic-y and OOC but that's how I intended it to be. Even though this has a lot of Twilight bashing I love the books. Hate the movies but love the books. Also, if you're a bit confused about why Bella ran when she saw Neon, it's cause she thought he was a spirit. I think it'd be weird if she noticed his hooves.

Reviews? Pretty please?