My Little Pony

Who Else, But Discord?

---

What up y'all! Just a friendly oneshot for your reading pleasure! Enjoy with lots of laughs!

NOTE: the following is a non-profit, fan-based onshot. My Little Pony, and My Little Pony Friendship is Magic are owned by Hasbro and Lauren Faust.

Please support the official release.

---

She could just scream.

With every fiber of her being, she crunched the urge down to a keening twinge in her temple, closing her eyes to ward off the terrible things she was tempted to commit upon a certain draconequus.

But it was hopeless. Even as she gazed beyond the window beside her throne, she found no peace within her, found no ease within her. Not that the rising smoke from the city below helped any.

"I'm sure I needn't tell you why you're here.", her voice was flat, eyes narrowed and piercing.

"A little elaboration would be duly taken into account, if you don't mind."

She berated herself for allowing her patience to slip so easily, but that remark ground upon her nerves with such ear-wilting annoyance, she couldn't help but grit her teeth.

"Ugh! Just what are we gonna do with you, Discord?!"

"I could answer you if I knew why I was summoned here, 'Princess'.", he made sure his mocking tone and air-quotes were well noticed.

Face blanked and blood seething, Twilight summoned a list that would answer Discord's questions... whether he liked it or not.

"Shall I start from the top?"

"Wait, you mean there's more than one reas-"

"Turning the statues upside down."

"I swear, they were like that alre-!"

"Pulling pranks on the nobles."

"Well, some of them did seem a little down in the du-"

"Turning the chocolate fountain into water."

"What, now you hate it when I make sen-?

"'Bobbing for crabs'?"

"Now, you gotta admit, that was funny!"

"As funny as bringing a chicken, of all things, and pulling it's head off?!"

"Oh COME ON! So did David Blaine, and you don't see him getting prosecuted for it! Besides... I put it back, didn't I?"

"Oh, and the most provocative of all!", Twilight whisked the list to her lap in a steamy huff, "Sexual harassment?! REALLY?!"

"...

...

... I regret nothing."

"GUH! DISCORD!"

"I'm sorry, 'Your Highness', but I honestly don't see the crime I've committed here. I mean, really now, what would tonight's festivities be reduced to without my intervention?"

"That's not the issue, here! You were invited to the Grand Galloping Gala as a social exercise!"

"To be honest, I think I did exceptionally well. Consider the ice-staking ring, if you will."

By this point, Twilight wore a perpetual scowl as she glared into Discord's eyes, who returned the gesture with a daring smirk.

"A ballroom-turned-skating-ring, chocolate-striped ceiling, and dancing tables, the Grand Galloping Gala does NOT make...", she hissed dangerously through clinched teeth.

"Oh, right, I forgot. Throw a pretentious excuse of 'love' and 'acceptance' into the equation, and it all comes together.", Discord's smirk never died.

"That. Is. IT! I didn't want to do this, Discord! But you leave me no choice!"

The Spirit waved his hands in mock terror before sneering at the young Princess.

"OOH! I'm shakin' in my fur! What are ya gonna do? Gather your dinky little Elements, and enhance me in stone for a week?"

---

"I can't believe you gathered your dinky little Elements, and enhanced me in stone for a week...", Discord deadpanned.

He sat upon the stone pedestal he had come to hate during his long years of imprisonment, glaring at the bookworm-turned-princess and her fellow Elements of Harmony with crossed arms.

"Maybe that will teach you to behave during annual events.", Twilight said with a shadow of a smirk, which wore on Discord's nerves a little.

"All this because I tried to breath life into- how was it put again- 'the worst night ever?'"

"Of course!... Well, that, and Pinkie Pie.", Twilight added.

"Wait, what? The Hell did I ever do to you?!", Discord pointed to the party pony in question.

"Seriously?! You bad-mouthed David Blaine! You'd have to be loco in the coco to bad mouth David Blaine!", Pinkie squawked.

"I'll go loco in your coco...", Discord murmured under his breath.

The scorching heat that now waved from Twilight's cheeks could practically be felt.

"I-Ga-Wha-! DISCORD!"

"What? Mare's got a rump.", he snickered.

By now, Rarity could barely contain her disgust, eying Discord with a squint.

"I'm gleaning that the 'sexual harassment ' claims hold true?", she sneered.

"What was your first guess?", Rainbow Dash grumpily added.

Discord sighed.

"Is this gonna take much longer? That week spent in stone really creaked the joints. Gotta stretch the old muscles, you know."

Countless misguided privileges, and second chances broadened Twilight's intuition on such a remark.

"Oh, you're not going anywhere until you promise not to cause anymore mischief, Discord."

"... Challenge accepted."

"While you're at it, apologize to Pinkie for what ya done said.", Applejack threw in with a sneer of her own.

Discord cast a lazy glance toward the pink mare, who, to his limitless delight, was drawing circles in the grass with a very thick blush. He even dared to assume that the little curl on her lips barely resembled that of a smile.

But he was nothing, if not proud.

"Pffft! Yeah, Like I would lower myself to tawdry apologies-"

"OR, you could keep Fluttershy over here company. She doesn't get many visitors these days."

"I, Discord, the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, hereby officially denounce all pride in the grievances I've caused, and, from the bottom of my heart, apologize.", the Spirit proclaimed with a paw to his chest and a talon raised.

Twilight nodded proudly, and finally allowed the smile that had been tugging at her to shine.

"Apology acce-"

"Oh, and Princess?"

"U-Uh. Yes?"

"Love the new crown. Very festive. Chow!"

And with that, and a snap of his fingers, Discord was gone.

"Well I'm glad that worked out. Say, while you girls are here, whats say we do a little catching... up?", Twilight cast shifting glances toward the mares gawking at her, "What? W-What is it?"

Her only response were silent stares permeated with a strange mixture of shock and... terror? What?

"Um... Hi? Equestria to friends?", she attempted to no avail, "Geez. Well, I'll be in the palace. Come up when you're all finished doing... whatever it is you're doing."

Sprouting her wings, and soaring away, Twilight left her very best friends... to wonder how in the flying Hell she didn't notice the hulking, vividly furry, beady-eyed spider that made it's home on her head.

"Oh my... I really think we should have told her.", Fluttershy meekly proposed.

"Trust me, 'Shy. She'll figure it out...".

What Rainbow Dash didn't realize, was just how much truth her words held. Because when Twilight Sparkle did figure it out...

Everypony knew it.

---

This was a neat little dedication to the respect, glory, and admiration of the and only Discord (Q), my favorite MLP: FiM character. I based the premise off of how he would realistically handle being reformed.

Reformed Chaos... an oxymoron if ever there was one.

Craine...