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MLP: Dead Pony Walking

MLP: Dead Pony Walking

by Warriormaster47


Chapters


  • 1. Chapter 1
  • 2. Chapter 2: A World Of Magic
  • 3. Chapter 3: This is how you Hitman
  • 4. Chapter 4: A Killer Deal
  • 5. Chapter 5:Objectives Found
  • 1. Chapter 1

    Hello all! I'm new to all this so don't get upset if this is not quality, and just to warn you, this first full chapter is all back-story, the real story begins in the next chapter.

    Also if you are reading this thank you!

    Anyway I'll stop talking and let the story begin!

    Let me just start off with this….where I live, sucks. The year is 2035 in the U.S.A. and the metaphorical s**t has just hit the metaphorical fan. Let me just start at the begging. Hello my name is Alex Stone, and I have a rather *Cough* interesting job description. But that's not important right now, right now is the time I tell you my story via. Voice diary. I am an only child, born in the year 2000, and everything was amazing during my life!

    Straight A's in school, I got my PhD and got a great girlfriend. Though…..all of that changed when the date was the 4th of July, 2030. That day is when the country of North Korea launched a full blown nuke strike all over the world, though it only hit 1 of its targets. Japan. Then the 3 other nukes hit Russia, China, and Afghanistan, and world war 3 broke out dealing serious damage. But that's not the worst of it. That day while my family, my girlfriend and I were celebrating that day, a gang, known as the concrete assassins, kicked down my door, killed my girlfriend and heavily wound my parents. Soon after I fought them off with my dad's old Winchester double barrel, but I was still emotionally scarred for life.

    Anyway, long story short, the worlds jacked up and I had to forget a nice job using my PhD. I had to take up and new hobby, which would also lead to my career path.

    Hunting

    I became a hunter to supply my home with food, then soon after, I became something many people would never dream of being, a professional hit man. This came up after I had found the entire group of the gang that had killed my girlfriend, and wounded my parents; had just accidently stepped on to my hunting grounds. All I could hear in my head were two voices, one screaming "Do it, murder them in cold blood!" While the other yelled "No! You are not like them, if you kill them, you are no better than them!" The other voice screamed louder than the voice trying to not make me kill them, "Nobody is around! Nobody will care, you are always better than them; since you didn't kill someone they loved!" The thought of killing them made me take aim, staring wideeyed through the scope, smiling at the thought of them dead.

    Though the voice trying to not make me kill them tried to yell louder than the evil voice in my head, but quieter than before, "Don't listen to him! You are not a killer of man, you are a doctor, you have the ability to walk away and save your innocence!" I yelled quietly back in an angry tone as if somebody was actually there, "I lost my innocence 3 years ago when they killed her in front of me!" I took aim and as I was about to squeeze the trigger, I yelled out, "Take this you evil b#*tereds!" And so, a shot rang out, then ten others all in a row, all coming from the same gun. With that I walked away, eleven bodies on the ground, each with a bullet in their heads.

    After that I just began taking jobs left and right, taking out this gang and that one. And that horrible neighbor who just lets his dog sprint around his and your home eating everything. After the word got out that there was a hit man for hire, I got at least forty letters in the mail asking me to kill different famous politicians all over the world.

    When the first year of my new job had come and gone, I was doing ok. I had over a hundred million in the bank, and fifty million going to my mother and fathers account to allow them to buy med's if they needed them and pay for hospital bills in the future (I was sure they would need the money seeing as they were both over a hundred and going). My life began to get back on track after my new job was working out well. Though I still get a tear in my eye every time I think about that Fourth of July.

    Well, now it's time to say what ruined my life 100% only about a few days after my last job. It was a Saturday in the year 2034, still can't remember the day it was after all this time. Anyway I did my normal routine for the mourning, get up, take a shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, clean all 15 of my guns, and check my e-mail and mail box for anything. Nothing in my e-mail, so I went out to check my mailbox, as I looked at the contents I mumbled to myself what each of the items were.

    "Let's see, junk, junk, coupon for groceries, bill, bill, letter from president, bill, bill, junk…." Wait a minute what did I just say? I looked back over all the mail. And I saw it, a small white envelope, with a gold colored seal on the front in the form of the back of a quarter. I quickly looked around, I still don't understand why I did that, I was probably thinking someone was watching me, and ran back inside. I sat down in my favorite chair in the den, and opened the letter with my hunting knife (which I always have on me) and read it with shaking hands, hoping it had nothing to do with killing the vice president in 33. Thankfully no, it was something

    much worse, after I read the letter; I sunk down in my chair and let my arm rest motion less on the arm holding the letter. I had to go somewhere that the people would kill me if I came within a mile of it.

    Russia

    That place is known as a death trap for Americans; every person I've heard go in there only comes out one way. In a body bag. That was really the only problem, the mission was simple, and I had to stop some government scientists from doing some top secret project that could hurt national security and the blah, blah, blah, blah. So, it would take a bit of bribery, a disguise, a bit of online Russian speaking class, and I'm in. but I'm not going to bore you with those details so let's just jump to the night of the job.

    It was of course, the night where the country had its coldest day in history, but I still powered through. I had three guns on me, my sniper, PDW57, and my dad's Winchester double barrel. I had a military bag with me containing some pots and pans, matches, a combat knife, a water barrel, and enough ammo to supply me to fight two armies. While camping on a ridge overlooking the facility for about three days I had learned all the patrols, guard locations, and alarm locations. Basically, I was more than prepared for the job. I loaded my guns each with a full mag of tranquilizers and went to work.

    Three shots came out of my sniper, knocking out the three guards on the south side of the compound, and then I began to move in. The door was locked with a simple electric code lock; I pulled out a hacking device and unlocked the door in less than twenty seconds. As I moved in to the compound I realized how small this place is, (Probably on a low budget I had thought at the time) only about a hundred by fifty building with an upper level. I instantly saw on my entrance the two scientists in the middle of the room chatting about something to do with "this is crazy" and "diabolical", looks like that internet language class didn't help to much (and don't even ask how I got my guns past airport security).

    Turns out I wasn't being very careful and knocked over a few boxes and got spotted by the scientists, as one picked up a grenade off the table the other ran towards the alarm. I got the one by the alarm with my PDW then quickly turned towards the other scientist, to see the pin on the ground and a nade hurtling towards me. Before I knew what I was doing, my arm shot out, caught the grenade and chucked it away from me, and saw it land near a control panel next to the work place of the two scientists.

    As I quickly reacted I noticed a few things 1. The two scientists were gone and one of the windows was broken through, 2. The grenade had exploded faster than I had expected, and 3. The control panel that the grenade had exploded was destroyed and about five feet to the right of it a wormhole type thing had appeared, and 4. I was being sucked in.

    As I desperately hung on to a support beam for dear life, many things were being sucked into the wormhole, boxes, papers, tables, chairs, and a fridge, while my entire body was being ripped from the beam. Before my body in the wormhole, I said a prayer (something I hadn't done in years) hoping for the safety of myself and parents. And with that the compound had imploded, and the body of the infamous hit man,

    Was completely gone from that dimension.

    2. Chapter 2: A World Of Magic

    Hello all! Sorry it's been a while, I've forgotten to do this in a while

    So all last chapter had was back-story, now this is where the fun begins

    Tell me anything you want, need it be a character or something to fix,

    But remember, stay entertained my friends.

    My head was throbbing, every portion of my body ached. I slowly got up while surveying my surroundings. While getting up, I had noticed some very crucial things. 1. I was in the middle of the forest, 2. It was quite warm, and 3. There was no crater around me. Basically I wasn't in Russia anymore.

    I tried to recall what had happened, "Ok," I whispered, "I was on a job….yea that's it, and while on the job some vortex appeared and sucked me in. now what else?" I closed my eyes thinking, letting the gears turn in my brain, but all I could remember after that was five other vortexes opening while I was in there, and 4 other people going into vortexes opposite to me.

    "First, let's see if I have everything." I mumbled. Ok, I thought, mental check list. Guns, check. Ammo, check. Knife and hatchet, check. Mask, check. Hair, check. Small rams horns, check. Hooves, check. Water supply, check. Food, check. Flin….. wait did I just say rams horns and hooves. I searched franticly for a reflective surface, spinning my head this way and that. When I noticed a small stream, only a few yards away. I sprinted over and looked into the water, yep when I took off my cap I saw 2 little ram horns. And when I practically tore off my shoes, I saw hooves. I had become a creature of Greek mythology. A satyr.

    I took deep breaths, with my eyes probably the size of plates. In , Out, In, Out…and then I saw the eyes. Bright yellow eyes piercing through the dark of the wood, I looked around and saw about 27 more pairs of them all looking at me. I pulled out my PDW and hatchet, "Stay back!" I yelled, I backed up about a foot and the eyes moved the same direction. Only further, "I'm warning you." I said hesitantly, I feared for my life not knowing what these creatures are or what they can do.

    I closed my eyes waiting for my demise by the hands of these beasts, when I heard a loud strong voice, "Calm yourself young satyr, we wish not to hurt you, but to speak with you." The voice sounded comforting and kind, still with my weapons raised I felt a bit more safe hearing another person's voice. "Oh thank goodness, it's good to see one normal person after all I've been through, are these your trained hunting dogs?" I said happily, then putting my arms away. And when I look up I see a rather large dog made of timber walk foreword. "No silly satyr, we are not dogs, we are Timberwolves, and you have walked into our territory." The Timberwolf say with a deep, kind tone. I backed up into a tree, trying to avoid the strange creature, made of wood talking to me. "So…..um are you the...Uh pack leader?" I said in a tone of fear, reaching into my holder for my melee weapon.

    "Yes I am, and you need not fear other worlder," The pack leader told me, "We know you are not of this world, for we saw you exit the large vortex, inside was a window into you world with creatures standing on two legs."

    "Well that's a relief," I began to relax as I talked to the leader; "My name is Alex Stone. Is there anything I can call you? Saying pack leader is a bit of a stretch."

    "Why yes, many call me father but you may call me Clayton, king of the Timberwolves." I chuckled after I heard his name, he sent me a soul piercing stare, "What is so funny about my name?" He growled, then and there I realized I had made a mistake. The rest of the pack began to close in on me and Clayton.

    "It's nothing," I replied, "That was my father's name, and you act just like him. I just thought it was funny how the resemblance was uncanny, that's all."

    "Oh," He said in an embarrassed tone, "I meant not to show disrespect, I didn't know if you were insulting my family or poss…." He stopped, is ears shot up like a bolt of lightning, eyes widened to the size of tires. He began to bear his teeth and let out a low growl. I began to slowly move towards him, "Clayton, what is the matter…?" I was cut off by a shriek of pain coming from a distance.

    My head was towards the sky, trying to locate the origin of the sound. Though when I looked back down, the pack was running south west, moving at extreme speed. I began to let the lead out of my feet and run, trying to catch up with the pack so that I could help them in any way. Because how else am I going to get answers on where I am, and how to get home? These thoughts raced through my head, before I began to notice I was closing in on the front of the pack. I had never run this fast before in my life, my best mile time was about a 4:55.6, and if my calculations were correct, I was running at a mile time of about 1:24.1. I quickly brushed these small unimportant thoughts out of my head so I could focus on the task at hand.

    After a brief time of running, we had found the source of the cry. It had came from two individuals, a Timberwolf looking to be about half of the size of Clayton. And a small horse skin dark as night, holes of all sizes throughout the creatures body, wings that looked like they belonged on a dead fly, and a horn with a small glow of black around it. And beside it, a letter with the same aura of black encasing it, the letter began to float in midair; heading right to me. I snatched the letter out of the air, only seconds before Clayton and two other large Timberwolves began to rip the creature apart. The blood coming out of the creature was black, and withered the grass around it.

    After the creature was done being ripped, limb from limb, the wolves began to huddle around the Timberwolf that had seemed to have gotten into a fight with the beast. Clayton, who was sitting right next to me, began to cry, paws covering his eyes, the rest of his body lay flat on the ground. "Jakobs…my only son…how…*Sniff!*…how could this happen?" He cried, This is horrible, I thought, I almost feel like this has happened to me beffo…..oh. "D**n Changeling" I heard another wolf whimper. A Changeling huh, this doesn't sound good.

    I quickly remembered the letter I had in my hands, looked at it, and then I began to tear into it. None of the wolves noticed, since all of them were mourning for Jakobs. When the letter was opened, there was a small vile in it, and a letter (Shocking huh?). I put the bottle in my bag and began to open the letter, the message read:

    Dear, Alex

    I know that you are not of this world,

    Wait? Somebody else knows I am here, who could it be? I began to read on looking to find answers:

    I know what you can do, and I know that you will need me,

    Ok, so this person knows of my profession, but why will I need her?

    I can make you a deal you can't refuse,

    Pfff, like I haven't heard that one before.

    Here is the deal; you do as I say when I say it,

    And?

    And I will supply you with, ammo, tools, gold, and a way home.

    So, do we have a deal?

    Yes or no?

    Circle answer above

    *Gulp* well what do I have to lose? This person can offer all that I need.

    As I wrote "I accept" on the document with a pen that was in my bag, my letters began to be set ablaze, and the entire parchment burned to ash. I began to wonder what in the world could've happened to set the thing on fire, when out of nowhere. Another envelope appeared, this time all of the Timberwolves saw it.

    "Alex, what is going on? What does it say?" Clayton asked.

    I read the letter over carefully, reading every word, making sure that no detail was left unread. Once I finished I stuffed the letter in my jacket pocket, turned to Clayton and said "Well my new friends, it seems I'll be staying here a while."

    "Why is that Alex?" Clayton asked; even more worried than before I read it

    "Because," I began, "it seems I've got a job to do."

    Me: Well? What do you think?

    The whole words like this means it's just Alex's inner thoughts

    Just to let you know I put in a few references to good old

    Borderlands 2

    I am going to make this into a cool series, though it will take

    A while to get the creative juices flowing for the four other stories

    Well tanks for the support and feedback is appreciated

    Alex: and only constructive criticism or you'll want a police force or seven guarding you at night.

    Me: yep, I got Alex to back me up

    Anyway see you later peoples!

    3. Chapter 3: This is how you Hitman

    Welcome back my dear friends to my fan fiction,

    Sorry for not posting for a while due to schedules and stuff

    Any way lets get this story going again!

    By the way: I do not own my little pony (owned by Hasbro) only Alex

    Now enjoy

    Ok its time, time for my first job from my new contractor, this is going to take skill, intelligence, accuracy, and a metric sh*t ton of home made C4. It was about midnight, and one heck of a storm was going, but this wouldn't matter…. at least, not now. I was walking up a dirt road (now made of mud and gravel) towards a large gate, leading into the capital of the country, Canterlot. In my few weeks of preparation, I have learned many things about the land and the residents of this city.

    This city contained the higher class of the social ladder, mostly wealthy aristocrats and celebrity's. But I wasn't here for those worthless chumps; I was here for the real higher ups. The leaders of the country, actually more like their loot. From the info I've gotten from my contractor (and from my own espionage) this place was almost as heavily guarded as that senator's office I blew up, (within ½ and hour of entering might I add), but this time, no need for stealth or cover. My contractor wants this to be LOUD and these people don't even have a musket rifle, but my contractor doesn't want and fatalities on the job.

    When I was about 20 ft. from the gate I heard a loud voice from above shouting "You there! Who are you? And what business do you have in Canterlot at this hour?"

    He asked, I could tell it was a man due to the dark tone in his voice. I put on my best fake voice, trying to sound a bit like Col. Mustang from Full Metal Alchemist,

    "I have I friend in the town who I need to talk to, its very urgent." I lied, I had really hoped that he would believe me, but I was wrongfully mistaken.

    "I am sorry, you are not allowed to enter at this time, you will be able to wait inside the waiting area until sunrise." He informed me.

    I scowled at him from under my hood, "No its quite alright, I can just wait here." I yelled at him slightly annoyed, the guard smiled and looked out to see anybody else coming, while I stood by the gate, "Because I have no intention of waiting till sunrise." I whispered to myself.

    I slapped two packets of C4 on the large wooden door at two points about 5 ft. away from each other, and ran down the road getting ready to let the C4 go off.

    "Hey! What in Celestias name are you doing?" the guard yelled in an angered but yet worried tone. While he tried to look down at what I had placed on the door, I was far enough away, for me to pull out the detonator and let the sparks fly. The explosion was loud enough to be heard almost 50 miles away, and strong enough to blow a large hole in the 5 ft. thick wooden door.

    Now lets hear the story from another person's or shall I say pony's point of view?

    As I looked to where the explosion had come from, I was instantly met with the sight of smoke and a large amount of the royal guards flooding the streets. I scowled at the smoke wondering what fiend could've attacked the city. The changelings? King sombra? Or some kind of new threat to the kingdom?

    I looked at the stallions near me, "All of you I want in the streets to find out who did this!" I yelled at them, and I was met with all of them returning with a "yes sir!" and running off to join the rest of the guard. I immediately ran towards the castle to make sure the princesses were safe.

    As I was galloping along the walls at my fastest pace, moving like I was going to die if I didn't hurry. I was met with a voice out of nowhere saying to me:

    "Why hello! I say could you help me find my way to the princesses quarters?" The voice asked kindly. I had no idea who this pony was or, Where this pony was. I looked all around me, up, left, right, over the side of the walls, but when I looked behind me; I saw a creature sitting on a battlement, looking off into space, kicking his hooves back and forth. But when I looked up, I saw something I have never seen before; it had two limbs on the battlement, with some form of thin sticks on his hooves.

    A thin middle area covered by a coat, a long neck with goggles hanging on it, and a boulder shaped head, two eyes, a short mussel, mouth, a mane covering the top of his head looking freshly cut, and two small horns on top of that.

    This creature was a tad strange to me; it seemed to have the lower half of a goat, but the upper half of a skinny nearly hairless ape.

    "Who…who, and What are you?" I questioned it as I took a few steps back.

    "Oh I'm nobody, a nothing to you," It said, "how about this, you tell me who you are and what connection you have to the princesses, and ill tell you who and what I am, deal?

    I was conflicted, I was curious on what this beast was, but didn't want to tell it anything. But in the end *sigh* my curiosity won over my conscious, "My name is Shining Armor, Captain of the Royal Guard," It frowned as I said that, "My wife is also here to talk to the other princesses about some important information, classified to anypony."

    "Awwww, that's too bad for you." It uttered in a sarcastically sad tone.

    "Well…. *gulp* why is that?" I sheepishly asked it.

    Then it began to chuckle, head tilted back in the air, "Because you sore fool," It spat as its head shot down with a killer serious stare, "That means you are coming with me." I started to turn around to gallop away to get assistance from some of the other guards when…

    Bam!

    I was it in the back of the head by something; my vision was flickering on and off. My head throbbing, my whole body was about to go black when the creature came up to me, lying on the ground. It bent over, looked into my eyes, and said, "Don't worry captain, you'll be a great use to my operation," It whispered to me, "As protection… and my bargaining tool."

    Then I blacked out.

    Well? How was it?

    Good I know, sorry if this is a bit short compared to the other chapters.

    Or if the format was different, I'm not using my usual writing computer.

    It may take a while for me to get up some new stories/chapters, buuuuuuuuuuuuut

    That's just how the creative process works

    Until next time my friends, enjoy your life.

    And remember don't do drugs kids!

    Alex: so…what now?

    Me: I don't know, want to work on the story/ you're new set you lazy bum.

    Alex: nahhhhhhh, how about…Comicon!

    Me: :(

    Alex: Fine! Ill get to work.

    Me: Good! Oh and don't for get your new costume –u-

    Alex: ug.

    4. Chapter 4: A Killer Deal

    Ahh, it's good to be back in action

    Sorry it's been a while, you know school,

    And about 30 after school activities.

    Anyway, I hope this chapter will be long enough

    So anyway let the venture continue!

    I still do not own Hasbro, or anything made by them.

    Well, this job has just gotten a tad more difficult then I had first imagined. Problem number one: I don't have a f*cking clue where I am going, so….crap. Number two: this place had more guards than 4 general Knox's. And finally, all of the hired . . it was hard enough already but with about 237 servants (that's all I counted within the first TEN minutes), it was going to be hard.

    I was getting a little PO about not knowing the inside of this place, but I did notice one thing, the more I advanced with my "new best friend" over my shoulder (he looks so small but weighs about 3 tons!), the more guards there were. So if my theory was correct, that means the more the security = the closer I am to the monarchs room.

    Four hours later

    In front of the monarch's chamber…..

    "Hey wake up you idiot!" My CO decided whacking me in the back of the head was the best idea to wake me from my nap. I put my hoof on the back of my head, feeling for my new bump...Huh, which makes 43 in about 2 weeks.

    "Ok cap," I returned as I rubbed the back of my head, "One, really? Hitting me in the back of my head…again? And two, Oooooowwwwwww!"

    "Oh come on pvt. Man up and take a hit, besides, we need to be ever vigilant for this job."

    "Hey! I wasn't out that long."

    "You've been out for at least 2 hours now."

    "Well, that was the shortest nap I ever had."

    "Just shut up, wake up, and focus!" after that I just gave up. I sighed, rolled my eyes, and kept looking forward. Tonight was sooooooo boring. While looking around, I saw what looked like two eyes with red pupils.

    "Captain, look!" I shouted at him.

    He instantly snapped in the direction where I saw the eyes. But when he looked…..

    They were gone.

    "Really privet? Enough games" he snarled

    "I swear I saw something!"

    He just shook his head, and looked back down the hallway. He was probably right, it was nothing (or at least that is what he SHOULD have said). I just took a deep breath and let it out.

    Then all the torches went out.

    Ok now the captain couldn't dismiss this, I turned to where the captain stood and began saying, "I kne…"

    Except, this was the last word he could get out before something came up behind him, and started pressing its limb up against his neck.

    Causing him to run out of air, and fall unconscious to the ground.

    Hearing

    "Nighty, night little one."

    Ten minutes ago

    Down the hall, up 2 flights, to the right, down a flight and…..

    "Alright big boy, tell me how to get the monarchs chambers, or I'll just have to "play" doctor on you!" I shouted in the face of the tan horse, while grabbing it by its scrawny little neck.

    "Gack... it's down a flight of stairs….*wheeze*…take a left….up two flights…*cough* and down the hall." It slowly explained gasping for air

    "Thank you" I whispered with a smile, dropped him on the ground. Unconscious.

    This was beginning to get quite annoying. Three hours and fifty five minutes of running around hoping to find my way. I swear to god someday I will…..

    Why hello giant door guarded by two.

    Heh heh time to have some fun.

    Current time

    100 ft from the monarch chambers.

    Man I wish I could do this every time,

    I pull back a fair distance and prepare to make an awesome entrance.

    "Ok, knees bent, steady breathing…..ok" I readied myself. Three, Two, One.

    I charged down the hallway, slowly gaining speed, getting faster and faster with each step.

    50ft…..40ft….29ft….Now!

    I began to side step, positioning my shoulder to face the door, football style.

    As soon as I felt the doors burst open I began to combat roll consecutively without a pause.

    I planted my foot down, sliding a few inches before pulling out my shotgun, pulling the trigger, and firing off two rounds.

    My head facing down, shotgun pointed in the air, sweat dripping down my face. My head shot up, taking in my surroundings. Fear. Surprise. The only two expressions I could see at the moment.

    I chose this to shout at the top of my lungs "*Huff* WHATS UP B*TCHES!" my line to really get attention, and stab fear into my foes.

    By process of elimination, I could tell that the three largest beings in the room were quite important. I throw my shotgun on my back and pull out a little something I made over the years as the guards began charging at me. A lead retractable bowstaff, with a wood coating. And they came at me with…..spears and swords? "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my god that is just soooo pathetic!" I accidently shouted out loud, I pull out my special device and let it extend to about a 7.6 ft long staff.

    One attempted stabbing me in the chest; I easily just did a football spin around, dogging its attack and getting a good blow off my spin, knocking it to the ground. Another came up and we got into a little "light saber clash" both holding our ground with and unrelenting strength. Though unlucky for him, he was facing an opponent who has experience with these situations. Using my much greater power, I pressed its sword on the ground and gave it a nice roundhouse kick to the face. When I made contact it went flying across the room.

    After this guard, either the rest were too scarred to face me, or smart enough not to try. I recompacted my staff, put it away and began to walk down the room. This place was filled with wonderful stained glass mosaics, but they weren't that good. I looked left, equine. I look right, equine.

    Everywhere I looked there're equine, not a truly important fact but could be used to my advantage later. As I got closer to the larger three I saw earlier, I saw some peculiar features on them. They had a unicorn horn, and wings of a Pegasus. Indeed peculiar, but I digress.

    "WHO ART THOU, AND WHAT BEING GIVES THOU ATHORITY TO HURT OUR GUARDSMEN?!" Shouted one of the big three in…..old English? This equine had skin black as night, and had blue and black flowing hair, and had an angered expression on its face.

    "Calm down Luna, there is no need to shout. But the question still stands, who are you and why have you come here, broke down our doors, and injured our guards?" asked the largest of the three. This equine had skin white as snow, and had hair flowing with a rainbow of colors. Bearing a slight angry face, though mostly looked curious.

    "Why hello there, it's nice to finally meet you in person! I've heard quite a bit about you two, and who you are; though not your names, please tell me who are you?" I asked, sounding a bit like Kefka, which I thought was a nice touch.

    The white horse responded with haste, "I am Princess Celestia, and this," she (I can tell by the title princess) pointed to the black horse,

    "is my sister, Princess Luna, finally this is," she pointed to the last of the three of them, pink, with purple, white, and dark purple hair,

    "Princess Cadence, the princess of the crystal empire, while she governs that area, my sister and I rule the rest of Equestria. So now that you know who we are, who are you?" she questioned.

    "Oh, I'm nobody just…."

    "The man who is going to screw over your entire country."

    There I chose to sound a bit more like um….I don't know I just think I sounded menacing. After that though, guards surrounded me more than 100 moths circle a single light bulb. I thought this would happen, actually I was hoping for it, so it was time to bring out my secret weapon.

    "Well, it's a darn shame that you try to do this to me *sigh* looks like my friend is going to die to then." I "wined" as a held my "friend" by his scrawny neck.

    "Wait…who is that?" questioned princess Cadence, sounding very worried.

    "Oh him? He's nobody just…..somebody very important." I chuckled as I said this, ripping off the bag around his neck, revealing his bloody unconscious face.

    I heard the pink princess scream out of horror and anger. The blood and scars shocked her and yet filled her with sadness and a pure inferno of rage.

    "SEASE HIM!" she shouted at the top of her lungs, tears of anger and sadness beginning streaming down her face as she looked at the bloody body of her husband.

    "I'm sorry princess, but…" I quickly placed my knife to his neck, "If you want to see your boyfriend alive again, you'll give me the ability to enter the treasury and the chamber for the elements." I began to press the dull portion of my knife to his neck, getting ready to slit it if necessary.

    While the other princesses were conversing about the situation, I saw Cadence talking to a guard, unluckily for her my satyr abilities also gave me some good hearing,

    "Are you sure princess? It seems awfully risky." The guard said.

    "I know it is! Just…..just have your squads ready to strike as soon as it gets to the elements doors." Cadence replied.

    Well, this'll be a fun job.

    Awwww yea, it's time for some epic battles,

    Well sorry for not writing for a while,

    You know, school, afterschool activities, homework.

    Still thanks for reading my story

    I hope you have an excellent year

    And never give up on your dreams!

    Alex: yea *whispers* and between you and me, if someone is putting you down my number is 1(459)…..

    Me: Alex! I said no more work until this story is done!

    Alex: Fine, see ya later everybody!

    Me: Byeeeeeeee.

    5. Chapter 5:Objectives Found

    Ah! Nothing like spinning a tale of wonder and awesome,

    Sorry it's been a while, lots of stuff to do you know, school, actives, and laziness (Sorry!).

    Anyway back to our tale,

    Some new stories might be coming out soon.

    As I walked down the long marble hallways of the castle while being "escorted" by several guards, the architectural genius was beginning to appeal to me. Seriously how did they build this castle on the side of a mountain without any form of tools? I mean no cranes or some substance to hold it all together. I quickly pushed that question to the back corner of my mind as we turned to the left and saw a set of two large marble doors, which had a large chest engraved onto the center.

    "Here we are…..the treasury" Said one equine in a dull unappealing tone.

    "Oh cheer up my friend," I told it, "Don't sound so dull, you're ruining the tour of this grand palace, who knows maybe someday your parents will want you to come home."

    "Grrrr" I smiled, the more I got him angry, the more easily I could provoke him into destroying the pink equines plan. I kept lugging the captain over my shoulder, and boy did he need to lay off the hay for a while. I waited as two of the guards opened the doors, and with it came a blinding light slowly making its way through the ever widening gap between the doors. I quickly shielded my eyes from the soul piercing light. As the brightness dimed down, I removed my hands from my face and looked in awe.

    This place probably had more money in gold and jewels than the raid of the Spanish ship the Cacafuego, over $20,000,000 in gold from that run.

    I stood there, speechless, eyes the size of dinner plates for no less than five seconds before I threw the still unconscious captain of the guard on the ground and shouted, "YA HOOOOO!" as I jumped into the room, literally swimming in gold. I quickly pulled out a large bag that would even shame the inventory size of Link; filling it with a ton of gold and the largest gemstones I could find. All in less than twenty minutes, I estimated about five million dollars worth of gold and jewels in my small bag alone. Once the bag was full, I jumped out of the room with my bag like it was a single pound weight, perks of my satyr abilities.

    "All righty boys onto the next chamber." I called to the equine, "And you Mr. Grumpy, would it kill ya to crack a smile?" I cracked the same guard form before.

    "Why I ought a…!" He shouted while two other guards held him back, flailing his fists in anger. And so we continued onward, I was still mesmerized by the structure itself like I was a child in a candy store. As we moved along the halls, I saw different equine wearing what seem to be maid and butler outfits watch us from afar. I turned to a few smiled at them, then barked at them. I mean….like a dog; I did need to keep up the whole "I'm a psychotic demon creature truly bent on killing and pillaging" act.

    We walked the halls for maybe 3 more hours before we arrived in a hall full of beautiful stain glass portraits on the sides, and at the end; a set of two double doors covered in gemstones and stunning art work, the guards stood near the entrance to the hall. As I neared the door it was finally time to put my plan into action, I abruptly stopped by the door spun around on my heel and paused as I faced the guards, cracking a smile as wide as the Jokers.

    "Ok numb nuts how stupid do you think I am?"

    "What?" shouted the nicknamed "Mr. Grumpy" and some others,

    "Well obviously you think I am dumber than you, thinking I would just waltz in here with no problem, then you could get me, well you were wrong," I cackled after this remark, "And I have a question for you Mr. Grumpy, did your mother put you in here because she never wanted a son or was it because your father hated you for being such a low tempered imbecile?" That pushed the last of the horses' metaphorical buttons; he gritted his teeth and made a sound that was supposed to be his battle cry. While charging at me with his spear pointed straight at me, screamed to the rest of the battalion, "ATTACK!"

    A few of the unicorn's wearing wizard cloaks began to surround their horns in an aura of a different color for each of them. Not even a second after, I was surrounded by auras of multiple colors. I raised an eyebrow wondering what this was; I began to move my hands to my staff on my back with no problem at all still wondering what they were doing. As I pulled my staff out from the captain on my shoulders, the magi (seeing as they had cast a spell of some kind and dawned cloaks, I guessed they were mages) had their mouths open in awe due to me disregarding whatever they were trying to do to me.

    As the angered equine began to get closer, I let out a sigh and took a stance looking like I was about to attack with my staff even though I had a different agenda. As he came within range, I swung the captain around my neck and struck the guard in the face with a roundhouse kick from his own captain. Knocking the horse out, cold. This is where the fun began. The magi recovered from their shock and began summoning fireballs on their horns; while they were preparing the spells the other guards began charging at me with swords and spears, all pointing at me.

    I began to spin my staff in my hands, faster and faster it went, so fast it could possibly rival that of the speed of General Grievous spinning his lightsabers. First the volley of fireballs, each was being launched approximately one point five seconds after the other. I just shook my head and smiled, watching as their fireballs just hit my staff and flew off in random directions; I had learned that once a pole or slender object reaches a high enough speed it can overpower trails of fire or fireballs in this instance. I leaned this during my few years with my sensei in the Himalayas learning it in one of the hardest ways possible, let's just say it took some time to heal from all the burns.

    After the volley, melee guards were coming closer and I was ready to show my power. As a guard with a broadsword charged at me, I hit his blade to the ground with one end while the other end came around and knocked him hard on the back of the skull.

    "Not much of a John Brown with the broadsword, now are ya?" I quipped to myself; taking down these guards would take no effort, so some energy could be wasted on a few witty lines.

    As this guard went down I used the leverage I gained from my first attack, I flung myself feet first at a guard with a spear hitting him hard in the head, causing something to crack in his face. Two down, thirteen to go. Three smart guards decided to charge me all at once, spears level with my chest they stabbed and…they hit nothing. I jumped up as they stabbed and landed on the edge of their spears. I swung my staff from left to right, smacking them all in the face dealing some damage and possibly knocking them out.

    The last ten guards consisted of 5 magi and 5 Pegasus archers. They all shot at the same time, but to no avail as I simply fell to the ground dogging their attacks. Swiftly I moved making sure they had little time to react. They each fired off at different times, out of fear, hoping to make their mark. Again to no avail, I did a serpentine maneuver and dogged with ease. I closed in on the line of magi; they put up a shield to defend themselves and the archers. I hit the shield and slid backwards a short distance. "D mn, how am I suppose to get past this?" I thought as I began to look around me. There was no way that I could see to get past. My thinking gave the archers enough time to pull back on their bows and fire off another volley. I luckily dogged the arrows with a little move called "The Matrix".

    I kept thinking and thinking on how to get through as I dogged arrow after arrow. Then, my mind came upon and old cartoon I use to watch…Teen Titans. "Wait! If this shield is made of magic, and if magic works like in the show…all I need to do is break their focus, thank you brain for remembering random facts that save me from these dilemmas!" Now I just needed a way to do this, something loud and blinding. A light bulb appeared over my head, lit up, and then proceeded to fell on my head. "Bullocks! Curse you fourth wall!" Still, I had an idea, though it would waste some of my equipment from home.

    It didn't matter now; all I needed was a way to take them out. I proceeded to pull out a slender yet rough tube, resembling a small pipe, from a specialized container on the back of my waist. I pulled the pin and rolled it right up to the shield, and hitting it lightly as I turned around closed my eyes and covered my ears. And, next came silence after a loud bang. My eyes shot open, as I spun around on my heel and ran. The magi and archers became temporarily deaf and blinded by my flash bang. I quickly ran up and smashed my staff into five of the magi's faces and four of the archer's wings and faces.

    One of them quickly shook off the loss of hearing and sight, and retaliated as I came close. The archer somehow grabbed my staff with its hooves as it became a power struggle. The equine put up a fight, even though it lasted for half a minute before I smashed my fist into his face, knocking him out. I jogged down to the chamber door of the room I wished to enter, and found that the key hole was a single hole for the horn of a unicorn. I began placing charges on each of the doors and ran back about ten feet, and blew the charges.

    I shielded myself as the doors protected by magic, couldn't handle a few well placed charges. I needed to move fast, no doubt that the explosion would attract some…"unwanted attention". I ran in a looked around, the captain dangling around my neck as I did so. As the dust settled, I saw….nothing. This was not good, my contractor had told me that the objects of interest would be here. Seeing as I couldn't find the objects here, I decided to ask some of my "new friends".

    I sprinted up to the first magi I knocked out and shoved up against the wall,

    "WHERE ARE THEY?!" I screamed in a demonic tone,

    "*Cough!* Why the buck should I tell you?" The Magi Spat at me,

    "I'm glad you asked." I pulled out my knife and shoved it right into one of its front limbs, causing blood to shoot out and down its arm.

    "ARRGHHHHHHH!"

    "You gonna talk, or I could make you"

    "PISS OFF" it put a lot of emphasis in its voice on this.

    "Hush little one don't say a word," I began to sing as I removed my knife from its limb and switched hands, for which one was holding it and which one was holding the knife.

    "W-what are y-you…..?" it didn't finish before I plunged my knife into the other front limb and smiled as it screamed again, "BUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK!"

    "Papas gonna get you a mocking bird," I twisted my knife as I removed it from its flesh, tears began to appear in its eyes as I raised my knife and thrusted it into one of its hind leg.

    "W-why are you doing this?!" it screamed as it cried.

    "And if that mocking bir….." I never even needed to finish before it screamed out,

    "HAVE MERCY, PLEASE STOP! FINE I'LL TALK!"

    "Good! Now…where are they?" I demanded, I didn't have much time so it needed to answer quickly.

    "They're in the town of Ponyville, about 100.5 miles due south from here, just follow the rail road!"

    "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" I told him right before elbowing it in the face. I dropped the body like a ragdoll, and looked around. I needed a fast exit, something easy to get through and would be easily the path of least resistance. As I looked, I found my exit. It was a stained glass window that looked out over the city. I took my staff and shattered the glass, letting me see that it was quite the drop.

    While looking over, I heard hooves and not just a few hooves, possibly enough that would belong to an army of about 300. I had no choice, I looked back to see the face of a guard shocked at what I had done and what I was about to do. I smiled, waved and jumped.

    …..

    My job was not particularly hard, quite easy for most ponies' standards; all I had to do was to repair the gate. Seeing as not many critters or foes of Celestia existed anymore, my job was easy…..until tonight. Some strange creature had blown off part of the gate and ran into the city, that didn't really matter to me seeing as I would actually have to WORK for once. It was a slow process, but I did eventually finish patching up the hole that thing made, just in the last ten minutes I would add.

    But as I was about to rest, something fell out of the sky and created a crater of stone nearly a hundred feet from the gate. And then proceeded to run, jump and break all my hard work. I flew up to look through the hole and saw a trail of dust coming off the creature as it ran.

    Why does the world hate me?

    Well? What do you think, give me your feedback and your thoughts!

    I have now decided, within the last five minutes of making this chapter, that I will now accept not one...Not two…but three OC Submissions!

    I got the idea from one of my early reviewers, who wanted to give me and OC,

    Here are the rolls that can be filled….

    Business partner for Alex, Hitman jobs.

    Biasness partner for Alex, Legitimate job

    Hunter specifically for Alex due to his crimes

    And 4. A Timber Wolf companion for Alex

    I will need a full detail of race, size, color of eyes, mane, and skin, natural talent (Pony only of course)/cutie mark, back-story, and how they meet Alex/ why they want to join him.

    Thank you for reading, reviewing and ideas.

    So remember: Keep Calm and Kill Grif

    And

    If it took more than one shot, your weren't using a Jakobs!

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