Why Am I Crying?

By The Rated Ponystar

Formally Edited by: Clavier, Mr. Minimii and Apple Cinnamon

Edited by: Unnamed Pawn and First_Down

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There was one thing that Scootaloo hated about winter, the fact that all the streets were so full of snow and ice that it made traveling to her home outside of town harder, even with her scooter. If she had her way, she would be already home, but her father insisted on walking home together for safety reasons. After picking her up from school, Scootaloo's father, Crimson, walked the two of them towards the edge of Ponyville with little to no conversation between them, It didn't take them long to arrive at their shoddy home where Scootaloo opted to keep her scarf on since there was never a change of temperature in their home despite the seasons. There was only one good thing about this poor excuse for a home with its decaying wood and terrible plumbing. It was so far off from the town border that her friends never had to see it.

Crimson levitated his jacket and placed it on the coat hanger before sighing. "Do you want something to eat? I know I don't get paid 'till next week but—"

"I'm not hungry," interrupted Scootaloo, walking down the hall. She soon stopped when she saw the few pictures they had on the nearby wall. Most of them were of Scootaloo and her father while others showed the Cutie Mark Crusaders during the holidays and enjoying themselves. Finally, there was one that made Scootaloo's wings buzz in anger: a picture of a pegasus mare who looked just like her in all but the eyes.

Pushing her rage away, Scootaloo entered her room and rested on the lumpy old bed her father got years ago at a very cheap price. It wasn't much, but it was better than the couch. She stared at her favorite crack on the ceiling and began to ponder if it had grown a few inches. Her thoughts then drifted off towards the news that had changed her world in a flash. Diamond Tiara was dead. The nasty filly who she hated almost as much as that mare in the picture was now gone forever. No more being called a blank flank. No more comments about how poor she was. Diamond Tiara was finally gone.

Scootaloo knew that today was a sad day, after all somepony had she couldn't bring herself to cry over a pony that, for most of her life, did nothing but mock and bully her and her friends for Celestia knows why. She had always wished Diamond Tiara would move someplace else, or get abducted by aliens or something. She never expected her tormentor to be out of her mane like this.

A knock on her door made her turn around to face her approaching father. He sighed and sat down on the bed, giving her a sad smile. "Hey, kiddo. I'm sorry what happened to your classmate."

"Yeah," muttered Scootaloo, shifting her position to the other side of the bed.

"Were the two of you friends?"

"N-no! Diamond Tiara and I were never friends! We hated each other!" replied Scootaloo, turning around with a pale face. Me and Diamond Tiara as friends?! Ugh.

"Diamond Tiara? That's Filthy Rich's daughter isn't it? What a loss..." muttered Crimson, shaking his head. He paused and looked at Scootaloo with a raised eyebrow. "You hated each other? Was she the one of the girls that bullied you?"

"Yeah, she was one of them. Silver Spoon was the other," said Scootaloo, narrowing her eyes. "She would always make fun of me and my friends for not having our cutie marks. Going on saying how dirt poor I was while she was fabulous and wealthy. I hated how she kept flashing it like some show off, thinking she was better than the rest of us. And the worst was when she called me 'chicken' because I still can't fly that well…"

Memories of the name calling and public laughter made Scootaloo bite her lip. She could taste her skin about to break and draw blood. Her father put his hoof on her blank flank and patted it. "I'm sorry, Scootaloo. I know it's hard sometimes; I used to be bullied too. You'll find your cutie mark soon, I promise. As for us being poor and your trouble in flying? You know it's not your fault…"

"Yeah, it's not my fault," uttered a bitter Scootaloo, but soon regretted it when she saw her father shamefully turn away. Softening her expression, she got up and nuzzled Crimson who continued to stare at the wall with empty eyes. "I'm sorry… I don't blame you, Dad…"

"You should…," muttered Crimson, closing his eyes. "You should be ashamed of having a father who's never there for you and can't even teach you to fly because he's not a pegasus."

"You're not there because you're always working to support us, it's not your fault!" argued Scootaloo.

Crimson snorted. "And why is it that I have to hold two jobs? Because I didn't know how to stop myself at the casinos. Because of me, we're so far in debt I'll never be able to give you the things a normal filly should have; a nice, warm home, three decent meals a day, a good education... Maybe if your mother comes back..."

"She's not coming back," said Scootaloo, jumping off her bed and kicking a nearby toy ball. It bounced off one of her Rainbow Dash pictures and nearly knocked it over. Scootaloo was grateful that Tiara, or anypony she knew for that matter, didn't know about her situation with her parents. She had always lied, saying that her folks were busy with their jobs. That, at least, was at least true for her father. It was by only some miracle that her mother's abandonment wasn't public knowledge. If anypony had known it would have been unbearable to deal with the shame, laughter, and even pity. "She left us and that's that."

"Scootaloo, she loved you. She loved you very much," said Crimson.

"Then why hasn't she been here for me these last four years?" asked Scootaloo, glaring at her father with venom in her eyes. Silence covered the room, excluding the occasional faulty leaking or cracked boards that came from the decaying house. Scootaloo shook her head and sighed. "How can you still defend her, Dad? Why do you still keep that picture of her in our house?"

"Because," said Crimson, "what will I gain from hating her? I could just be as angry as you are, but I'm… afraid of what will happen if I do that. I've seen ponies lose it complete and they become monsters. I don't want to raise you like that and I don't want to make you suffer anymore then you have. Besides, she's your mom and the best thing she ever game me was you."

"Dad... that's so cheesy," muttered Scootaloo, but smiled none the less.

Crimson chuckled. "It's the truth, kiddo. Look, it won't make any difference if I do hate her so I forgive her and move on. Maybe you should do the same thing?"

"With Mom, or Diamond Tiara?" asked Scootaloo.

"Both," answered her father, getting up. He patted her on the head and smiled. "I'm not gonna force you to go to the funeral, but I think you should think it over. Maybe it will give you some peace."

"I don't see any reason to, Dad. I never liked her and she never liked me. End of story," reasoned Scootaloo, rolling her eyes.

"All ponies have a good side to them, Scootaloo," said Crimson, shaking his head. "Maybe you never saw it, but I'm sure even a pony like Diamond Tiara had a side you never knew existed. Just think it over."

He smiled once more and made his way towards the front door, grabbing his jacket with his magic. "I have to get back to work. My boss only gave me a short time to go get you. Plus I have to work at the dam for the late shift again. There's still some peanut butter and bread in the kitchen for dinner, but we're out of milk."

Scootaloo ran out of her room and hugged Crimson just before he opened the door. "Dad, don't come home too late tonight? Please?"

Smirking, he messed with his daughter's mane and nodded. "I'll try my best."

Once he was out of the house Scootaloo huffed and made her way back to her room to stare at the crack again. Her thoughts drifted towards Diamond Tiara, briefly wondering if there was a good side to the evil filly. It seemed less likely as each memory involving her and her lackey Silver Spoon played through Scootaloo's head like a projector: the Gabby Gums incident, taking the Crusader's tree house, all the times Tiara called Scootaloo and her friend's names or mocked them when they failed to get their cutie marks. It only angered Scootaloo to the point where she punched her pillow and growled. "Good side, huh? That's a bunch of ponyfeathers."

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Feeling bored inside her house, Scootaloo decided to take a walk into town. She soon regretted her decision upon seeing everypony in Ponyville mourning Diamond Tiara like she had been a saint or something. Homes were wrapped with black ribbons as well as the street lamps. Ponies could be seen carrying flowers while making their way towards the direction of Rich Mansion. It almost made Scootaloo sick to think that the same pony who blackmailed her into writing nasty rumors that had her hated by the entire community was being cried over, but she reminded herself that this was a serious incident. Even if she hated Tiara, it wasn't like Scootaloo wanted her dead in the first place.

Still, they all may be willing to cry over her, but I won't. I can't forget what she's done. She was mean to me for no reason so why should I cry for Diamond Tiara?! thought Scootaloo, closing her eyes and growling

Just as she lifted her eyes back up, Scootaloo gasped upon seeing somepony right in front of her and winced when they collided; the stranger's horn leaving a mark on her forehead. Rubbing her head, Scootaloo cried out, "Jeez! Careful with that horn!"

"Scootaloo?" Shaking her head, Scootaloo saw that the pony she bumped into was none other than Sweetie Belle, who looked equally surprised. "What are you doing here?"

Rising up to her hooves, Scootaloo brushed some snow off before answering. "Taking a walk, just... clearing my mind."

"About Diamond Tiara?" asked Sweetie Belle. Scootaloo froze up when she heard the name. "Yeah, I was thinking about her too. It's so sad..."

"I guess..." said Scootaloo, shrugging her shoulders.

Sweetie Belle's ears shot up as she slowly stared at Scootaloo, her mouth slightly opening. "Y-you guess? Scootaloo, this is horrible. Aren't you sad about what happened?"

Scootaloo barely managed to hide her surprise. Of all ponies, she had expected her fellow Cutie Mark Crusader to be feeling just like she was. Then again, Sweetie Belle's always been the emotional one. Casing her eyes downward, Scootaloo shook her head and answered truthfully. "Not really, it's just... it's just not a big deal for me. I mean, yeah it's unfortunate, but I can't honestly say I'm going to miss her." Rubbing her forelegs, Scootaloo wondered just how different life was going to be without Tiara. It would at least be one less thing to worry about every day. "We were never friends with her. Hay, she bullied us all the timem remember?"

To Scootaloo's surprise Sweetie Belle gave her a glare that made her step back a bit. "How can you say that?!" shouted Sweetie Belle, attracting the eyes of a few others nearby. "She may have been a bully, but she didn't deserve to die! It's a big deal when somepony loses their life, Scootaloo!"

"Well obviously it is, but not to me!" replied Scootaloo, shaking her head and gritting her teeth. "Why should I care about her at all? She made fun of us, don't you remember?! The way she called us blank flanks, blackmailed us, and more? She made our lives miserable!"

"That doesn't make it right! Nopony should have to die and not be cared about because they made a few mistakes!" shouted back Sweetie Belle, who was slowly stepping forward 'till the two were up each others faces. "Are you saying it's alright for ponies you're not friends with to just drop dead and not care about them at all?! It's not right for her to die so young! It's not right for anypony to die! This isn't something we can throw away, Scootaloo, and you're being horrible!"

Scootaloo's mouth dropped slightly as her best friend continued to defend their former enemy. It's like she wants to be kind to Tiara now because she'd dead and all. Why should we when she showed us no kindness?

"I'm horrible!? She was the one who was horrible! I can't think a single good thing about her and yet you're talking about her like she was your best friend when she was nothing more than a jerk! I'm not saying I'm glad she's dead, but why should I care?!" cried out Scootaloo, face beet red.

"Because somepony died!" Sweetie Belle pointed out angrily. Scootaloo tried to say something, but Sweetie turned way with tears in her eyes and retreated despite her name being called out by the pegasus. Scootaloo continued to watch Sweetie run away until she turned the street, leaving Scootaloo to face a small crowd of staring faces and whispers.

Nervously, Scootaloo stepped back a bit before galloping off the street and into a nearby alley. When she was sure she was alone, Scootaloo sat down and took a deep breath. What was that all about? Did I just really have an argument about Diamond Tiara with Sweetie Belle? Who was defending her? Shaking her head, Scootaloo began to wonder if what Sweetie Belle said was right. Am I really acting cold? Yeah, she's dead and that's a bad thing, but… why doesn't it feel bad? She started pounding her head. Ugh, this is so confusing!

Taking a deep breath, Scootaloo got up and came out of the alley, searching for a place where she didn't have to think about Diamond Tiara at all. Spotting a familiar gingerbread house, she made tracks for Sugarcube Corner. Thanking Celestia that there were no other customers, Scootaloo headed for the counter and hit the service bell.

"Coming!" called out Mrs. Cake from the kitchens. She soon appeared at the counter and smiled. "Hello, Scootaloo. Can I help you with something?"

"Yeah, mind if I hang out here a bit? I need a place to relax. It's been a stressful day and all," pleaded Scootaloo, rubbing temples.

Mrs. Cake nodded and proceeded to pull out a chocolate frosted cupcake with blue sprinkles. "Of course, dearie. You're free to hang out here as long as you like. Have a cupcake on the house too." Scootaloo licked her lips and thanked Mrs. Cake before chomping on the treat with vigor. As she ate, Mrs. Cake tilted her head. "If you don't mind me asking, what is it that's the problem?"

After a quick swallow, Scootaloo looked at the ground to avoid Mrs. Cake's pondering gaze. Hesitantly, she answered, "It's about Diamond Tiara…"

Instantly, Mrs. Cake's hooves were pressed against her muzzle. Shaking her head, she whispered, "It's such a terrible thing to happen to such a sweet filly like her. And I can't even imagine what you're going through, Scootaloo, having lost your fellow classmate."

"Yeah…" muttered Scootaloo, nibbling on her cupcake.

Sighing, Mrs. Cake looked towards the window where it started snowing again. Yet instead of a feeling of wonder it had a sense of dread tied to it. "The twins are going to be devastated when they learn that Diamond Tiara can't come here anymore. They really liked her. They're not old enough to understand why she's gone but still…"

Scootaloo raised her head in confusion. "What do Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake have to do with Diamond Tiara?"

A sad smile stretched across Mrs. Cake's lips. "Why Tiara used to baby sit the twins every so often here in our home."

A second later, Scootaloo found it hard to breathe as she tried coughing the cupcake out of her windpipe. Mrs. Cake quickly gave her a glass of water to help and Scootaloo drank it greedily before yelling, "What did you say?! Diamond Tiara babysat the twins?! But that's like… work!"

Babysitting the Cake Twins was a job that made any pony shutter just thinking about it. The twins were wild, eccentric, and almost never went to sleep. Even professional babysitters from Canterlot went back on the train screaming in terror and never returned. The only three ponies who could handle the terror twins were their parents and Pinkie Pie. Although now it seemed there was a secret fourth handler as well.

"Oh, yes. It surprised me as well. One day Diamond Tiara came inside to get out of a rainstorm while my husband and I were busy with the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness. That's when the twins started crying," said Mrs. Cake, moaning. "Mr. Cake and I were too busy and Pinkie was out getting more ingredients for us. That's when Diamond Tiara suddenly said she would take care of everything and went up into their room."

"What happened?" asked Scootaloo.

"Soon enough the crying stopped," answered Mrs. Cake. "Half an hour later we went upstairs to see what happened and the twins were in their beds, falling asleep as Diamond Tiara finished a bed time story. After that, she asked if she could, secretly, be a babysitter for the twins when we needed one. It was strange, but we agreed to her request."

"What was she like?" asked Scootaloo, hanging on to every word. She tried imagining this filly as Diamond Tiara, but she couldn't see it. The Diamond Tiara I know would just call the baby's brats and shut their mouths with duct tape.

"The foals adored her. She would play games, read stories, feed them, and even change them. All for free might I add. Let me show you a picture I took one time," said Mrs. Cake eagerly. She ran out of the room only to quickly return with a frame.

When it was placed on the counter Scootaloo's eyes went wide, her mouth lay wide open, and her brain suddenly shut down. The picture did indeed show Diamond Tiara, jeweled crown and all, resting on a large pillow with a picture book in her hooves. On each of her sides was one of the twins who snuggled at her side like a giant teddy bear. Scootaloo wanted to deny it, but the proof was right in front of her. Diamond Tiara had actually taken care if a pair of foals. Thousands of questions went through Scootaloo's head: why would Diamond Tiara do this? What was there to gain? How was it possible for a rich snob like her, who never worked a day in her life, to be that good handling two foals at the same time?

"Scootaloo? Are you okay?" asked Mrs. Cake.

Scootaloo shook her head. "Uh, y-yeah. I'm fine. I think I should go home now. Thanks for the story, Mrs. Cake!"

She rushed out of the store before Mrs. Cake could question her. Once she was sure the distance between her and Sugarcube Corner was far enough. Scootaloo stopped for a breather and looked at the grey sky. "What is going on today?"

First she learned Diamond Tiara had died. Then Sweetie Belle accused her of being cold hearted and mean for not caring about it. Now she learned that Diamond Tiara, who had mocked the CMC for being "babies" before, was also a babysitter? It's like reality has suddenly turned upside down!

Deciding she had enough weirdness for one day, Scootaloo prepared to make tracks for home when she spotted a filly nearby, crying her eyes out. Scootaloo prepared to walk over and ask what was wrong, but the filly turned around and instantly stopped crying the moment she saw her. Scootaloo, in turn, also froze in shock upon seeing the teary-eyed Silver Spoon who looked like she had seen better days. Bags were under her bloodshot eyes while her mane looked almost as droopy as Pinkie on her off days. Tear marks and even small signs of snot could be seen on her face while her glasses were awkwardly crooked.

The two fillies stared at each other in stunned silence before Silver Spoon snapped out of it and corrected her glasses. She turned away and hissed, "What do you want?!"

"I… uh," Scootaloo rubbed the back of her neck, "I just wanted to see if you were alright?"

"Do I look alright?" asked a deadpan Silver Spoon.

"Geez, I was just asking," mumbled Scootaloo, rolling her eyes.

"Whatever…" said Silver Spoon, "Did you have anything else to say?"

Scootaloo gulped and sighed. Might as well be the 'good' filly and say it.

"I'm sorry about what happened to Diamond Tiara."

Silver Spoon snapped her head around as Scootaloo finished. She continued to keep her stone gaze up for a while, making Scootaloo nervously step back a bit. Silver Spoon growled, "You're lying. You're not sorry; I bet you're glad she's dead!"

"Wait, what?!" yelled Scootaloo.

Silver Spoon marched up to Scootaloo and shoved her nose right at her, their eyes inches apart. "Yeah! I bet you're glad she's dead! And you wish I was dead too, right?!" asked Silver Spoon, gritting her teeth. "I bet you and your friends are all happy that mean old Diamond Tiara is dead! I bet you all wish we were both killed in that accident so we could stop bossing you three blank flanks around, right? Right?!"

"Now hang on a min—"

"Shut up! I don't want to hear it!" shouted Silver Spoon, tears leaking from her eyes. "You think it's funny?! I just lost my best friend! I just saw her die in front of my eyes and you think that's something to be happy about?! You still have your two best friends so you don't know what I'm feeling!"

"Shut up!" shouted Scootaloo pushing Silver to the floor. She growled as Silver looked up in fear. "Now you listen here you brat! Yeah, I don't like you and I sure as hay didn't like Diamond Tiara! I don't care that she's dead! Why should I?! You two did nothing but try to make our lives miserable when none of us did anything to you! Have you ever thought that maybe this was karma?! That this happened because the two of you were such stuck up jerks?! I may not have wanted Diamond Tiara dead, but I sure as hay ain't gonna mourn for her because all she was a snobby, rich, showoff, ego driven, bully and I hate her, and you, for it!"

With years of frustration finally out of her, Scootaloo felt like she had lifted a weight off her shoulders. Taking deep breathes, she watched as Silver Spoon stared at her with a look of disbelief and shock. She opened her mouth a few times, but nothing came out. Finally, Silver Spoon lowered her head and mumbled, "You're right…"

Scootaloo blinked. "Huh?"

Getting up, Silver Spoon looked up at Scootaloo with such emotionless eyes that, for a split second, the latter thought she was looking at a zombie. "Maybe this is payback for all the mean things we did. We never wanted to do it… we just… I…" Silver Spoon shook her head. "I guess it's too late to think about it now… we just wanted to be safe… not like what happened that summer…"

"Summer? What are you talking about? What about being safe?" asked Scootaloo.

Then in a sudden move that had taken Scootaloo by complete surprise for a fourth time that day, she felt Silver Spoon wrap her forehooves around her. Holding back her tears, Silver said, "I'm sorry… for everything… it's too late now… but I'm so sorry…"

"Silver Spoon…" muttered Scootaloo. She tried to think of something to say, but her mind was blank.

Silver Spoon ended the hug and sighed. "You may have known her as a bully… but I knew her as something else. A friend. A sister. A good filly that didn't deserve this… but it doesn't matter now."

Without a goodbye, Scootaloo watched Silver Spoon slowly walk away, dragging her hooves like they were chained to iron. Leaving the stunned pegasus filly in the middle of the snow filled street.

It took her a long time to realize she had been given an apology by Silver Spoon.