Yes, I know, this all took so to make. I'm sorry that I took around a month just for one chapter. I've honestly been having some problems finishing much of anything. I'll try and get the next chapter up sooner, but I make no promises. Again, I'm really sorry it's just...It's just getting harder to focus lately.

Still, I hope you enjoy the chapter. :)

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The Shadow: Issue #1 (2/5)

(Part 1- Chapter 90)

3rd Pony POV

"Ugh! How could we lose them?!" The head-security cop asked as pounded his hoof into the large front museum door beside him. "Honestly, they were all Earth Ponies and we had, what, seven Pegasi on watch?! How is it even possible?!"

"Woah! Watch it Chief, my Mom's an Earth Pony ya know!" One of the guards said with a glare.

"Sorry, sorry it's just that...Dear Luna, how did they slip past us all?!" He asked as he flew a feet hooves off the ground in order to vent his frustration better.

"That's what I want to know as well..." A calm and slightly dark voice said with a hint of frustration.

"Huh?! The-The Shadow!" The Head of Security said as he immediately landed. Where as the other guards decided to go back to their posts before their boss even had the chance to complain to them about it. "What are you doing here?!"

"Were there only four criminals, or had a few others escaped another way?" The Shadow started looking around the ground for any kind of evidence to follow up on. Not even attempting to explain what he was doing here without being flagged down.

"Oh-uh-well, no." The Chief shook his head and focused on the problem. "They were the only four to come in. No alarms were tripped, and as far as we could tell they were all Earth Ponies. So they didn't fly or use magic. Not that it would matter, the museums enchanted so no pony can teleport inside from any point."

"And what did they steal?" Shadow asked as he picked up a small shard of glass. It was part of a small spherical orb that the four criminals had used as a smokescreen to escape. There were four smoke orbs. One for each criminal. They were armed with tools and perhaps even weapons for the theft in question.

"Well, oddly enough, not much. Or at least, not as much as they could've." He said, closing his eyes in thought. "It wasn't even anything that was new or worth all that much either. Most criminals usually go for the stuff that's easy to steal or worth a lot, but what they stole had an average amount of security and not worth all that much at all really. Just some ancient, low-quality jewelry."

"Any history behind it? The size of the jewels?" Shadow asked, now walking towards the doors to inspect the locks. They were kicked open, although the locks didn't bust off. Usually a strong enough buck could kick open these solid doors and bust the locks, but the locks weren't broken. Instead, it looked as if the lock had been cut clean in half before the doors were kicked open.

"Well, I never read the panels so I don't know." The Chief said with a shake of his head. He never even listened to the unveiling either apparently. "And the gems weren't all that big per say. But some of the guards did say that they-uh...Glowed?" He said, not sure how good a word that was to use.

"Ancient, glowing, and moderate worth. And what were the colors of the gems?" Shadow continued as he inspected a small purple splotch on the ground. It definitely wasn't normal blood or dust, but it didn't quite look super natural either.

"Oh, sorry. Paul Trot dropped threw a jelly donut in hopes to stop the thieves. He's fresh out from a local mall, so I already expected this little from him." The Chief said with a shake of his head. Only earning an annoyed, quiet stare from Shadow in response. "Right, sorry sir. Anyway, all the gems were different colors. Rumor has it with the day guard patrol is that they're jewelry from a Leprecolt because they make up a rainbow. Pretty stupid, huh?"

"Rainbow..." Shadow repeated as he closed his eyes. Thinking all the answers that the Head of Security had provided over to come to a conclusion:

The objects in question were said to emit a strange glow. Meaning that they're likely enchanted. And to be ancient would give the indication that it was originally meant for a unicorn accomplishing a task. It wasn't high quality so it probably wasn't luxurious or for the higher class, meaning that it was used for a task that wasn't acceptable or glamorous.

The thieves in question weren't run of the mill, small-time criminals. They were skilled and this looked to be very rehearsed robbery. They cut that lock with great ease and could evade multiple trained guards without any issue. They were dressed in full black suits, and snuck in undetected. As well as used stealth tactics to escape and left all guards unharmed even though it seemed that they could've very well taken them all down.

Finally, after coming to his conclusion, he opened his eyes and turned towards the head of security. Who was simply staring at The Shadow silently to wait for his response. "They didn't steal those jewels to make any wealt. They were working for some pony. Some pony who knows how to use these artifacts for his or her own personal gain. And I think I know just who it is."

And with that, The Shadow turned to leave. Not attempting to give the Chief any answers himself.

"Wait!" The Chief called out. "Well, what do we do then?! Should we dispatch any back-up?! Prepare for more thieves?! What do we do now?!" He asked. Ticked off that he was being left completely out of the know about this.

"Easy." Shadow said as he walked off down the street where the criminals had ran in the direction of. As obvious by the small tracks of jelly that they had stepped in. All in a day's work for Paul Trot, Mall Cop.

"Do your jobs."

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Disclaimer: I do not own MLP or any references that are made. All I own is the story, the idea, Blitz, The Honorable Thieves, the laptop I'm currently typing on, the 3DS I'm currently playing Pokémon X on, the game Game Dev Tycoon, and...A box of Devil Cremes that I'm currently eating because my frozen pizzas were in a fridge and defrosted before putting them in the freezer. To which they then managed to fold over themselves when I put it in my freezer sideways...

Buckin' Frozen Pizzas. Buck those things, am I right? Yeah...

...

...

I apologize greatly XD

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ACT I

Enter the Mane Humans!

AND

Introducing: The Honorable Thieves!

---

Station: Obstacle Course

1st Rotation - 2nd Station

Team Unicorn

Spike's POV

"Okay, so that's the entire course! Remember, we'll need both of you to beat 01:42 seconds! Any questions students?" Blitz asked as Twilight and Rarity were standing in front of us. Twilight had brought a piece of paper a pencil that she got from Joe's Station in order to write notes, and Rarity was looking very disappointed by the fact that she was here.

Me and Blitz were standing with big smiles on our face as we were about to do the exact same thing that we did to Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Except this time, I was going to be running alongside them and Blitz would keep time.

He wanted to get back at Rainbow for the jokes she makes about the flying lessons she had to give him, and I wanted to take my turn guiding Twilight down the track as a coach. Like the assistant becoming the master or something like that.

"Um, yes, one." Twilight said, raising her hand. "What if we happen to get stuck on a section of the course or get injured? Will the time still go on, or will it stop temporarily until we recover?"

"If you get stuck, then you might want to hurry up. Coach Blitz can't tell from the finish line what's going on at all times, so it'll just go against you. If you're really trapped, or get too hurt to run the course, tell me and I'll signal Coach Blitz that you lost." I told Twilight, just playing Good Coach until she got on the track.

As she put her hand down, Rarity then put hers up with that same amazing smile pointed towards me. Her eyes shimmering in the sunlight as they battered towards me. "I have a question as well."

Before I could answer her though, Blitz cut me off. "Yes Rarity?"

Rarity's smile faded a bit, but she went on anyway. "So, is there a chance that we can do something that is a little less...Tiring? I don't want to sweat in my brand new clothes after all, and all this exercise just seems a tad...Extreme, wouldn't you say?" She pouted towards the two of us in such a beautiful way, that it was almost impossible to say no to a face like that.

"No." But somehow, Blitz was able to find a way. "It wouldn't be fair to everyone else if we just let you do something else. Besides, we have a shower and a second set of clothes for each of you. You'll live." Rarity crossed her arms and looked away with a more saddened pout than before.

"Uh, Blitz? Are you sure we're not going to far with the tough coach..." Blitz rose an eyebrow at me and silently reminded me of what we agreed on. "Oh, I uh, I mean yeah. Sorry Rarity but rules are rules. Coach Blitz and me can't give anyone any slack!"

"Spike, it's Coach Blitz and I." Twilight corrected, giving me a small smile towards my small act at being a strict teacher.

"Twilight," Blitz started. "Do you always question your teachers?" Twilight instantly looked terrified. "Because I'm not sure how Equestria works, but here on Earth it's not nice to talk back."

"I am so sorry!" Twilight yelled, very immersed in the idea that we were teachers. "Please don't send me back to magic kindergarten! I'll do better, I s-"

"Woah! Woah, calm down Twi, no one's going to any school!" Blitz told her, now very sorry for making fun of her. "It was a joke, I'm sorry."

"O-Oh...Ahehehe...Right, sorry, overreacted." Twilight blushed in embarresment.

"Is Equestria really that strict when it comes to school?" Blitz turned towards Rarity with an unnerved look. And while Twilight was trying to calm down, with me helping her, Rarity walked over to talk to Blitz quietly enough so Twilight wouldn't hear.

"Not really. But Twilight thinks that if she has to be sent back to school, then she'll have to pick up where she left off. And since Princess Celestia took Twilight under her wing while she was applying for Magic Kindergarten, then..."

"Oh, I get ya." Blitz nodded as he cleared his throat. "Well Twilight as soon as you think you caught your breath then let's get you ready to ace the obstacle course, alright?" He asked while acting like a coach once again.

"Got it...Thanks Blitz." She smiled up at him as I motioned for her to go sit down in one of the chairs we had set up. We had three set up total. One for whoever was keeping time, the other pony-turned-human that was waiting for her turn, and an extra one just in case.

"That's Coach Blitz..." He corrected humorously as he followed behind to sit down as well. Leaving me to run along with Rarity.

"Um, Coach Spikey-Wikey?" Rarity asked with a saddened expression.

I hadn't turned around, but I knew that she was looking at me with those irresistible eyes of hers. The eyes that she used with a quivering lower lip and small tilt of her head towards the left to make the ultimate beautiful and deadly combination. And every time she gave me that look, I couldn't help but do whatever she asked of me.

I never really had a problem with doing whatever she asked though, but this time I knew. She wanted an easier time on the obstacle course. Joe told both of us that we cannot, under any circumstances, give any of the girls even the smallest bit of help. And he said that if I broke that rule, then he'd hypnotize me into eating...Charcoal...

"Ugh..." I shuddered at the thought of eating that stuff. Princess Celestia said that since I was a dragon, my stomach, mouth, and pretty much everything that made me a fire-breathing dragon would be the same. Meaning I can still use my fire-breath and I could still eat gems. Just like the others should still be able to eat hay, grass, and flowers.

Before turning around to face Rarity, I saw that Blitz was watching me with a small frown, as was Twilight. Since those lessons to help me with Rarity, both of them told me the one most important rule every. Single. Time.

'Don't be a pushover Spike!'

I let out a breath of air that I was apparently holding in, and turned around to face her. "Yeah...Rarity?..." I managed to squeak out. It almost hurt me physically that I was about to deny what Rarity wanted to do, but I knew that I had to say no...

"Just...Say...No...Just...Say...No..." I repeated over and over in my mind. Trying not to stare into her...Amazing, baby-blue eyes...

"Could you maybe help me through? I don't think I can get through it on my own..." She told me before batting her eyes towards me. Locking in her impossibly gorgeous glance towards me.

"Sorry Rarity, but I can't help you." That is what I wanted to say. And what I needed to say to her. She would've been upset, but she would understand why I would have to say no.

But instead of saying that, I instead said this.

"I'd be happy to help you!" I told her with a big goofy grin on my face. And before I knew it, she gave me a quick, thankful hug and walked off to the starting line. And as I followed her, Twilight and Blitz went ahead and talked to each other in a way where I couldn't hear them.

"So, how long did he last?" Twilight asked after noticing that Blitz had used the timer.

"About thirteen seconds. Better than last time." Blitz mused as he reset the timer. And when I gave him the signal for Rarity's run, he pressed the button and just dropped it on the ground beside him, opened up the cooler, and pulled out two sodas. "Grape Soda?" He offered Twilight.

"Oh, thank you!" She accepted it and, with her hands, managed to open the can by herself. Watching as I guided Rarity around the track untimed. "So, how long do you think it'll be until they make it to the finish line?

"I'm gonna say eight minutes. What do you think?" He asked her.

"It won't be that long. I'll guess five...Care to wager?" She asked with a smirk.

"You're on. Five bits for the winner?" He held up his can of Diet Coke.

"It's a deal." She said with a giggle before they clinked their sodas as if to make the bet official.

---

Station: Video Games

1st Rotation - 2nd station

Team Pegasi

Rainbow Dash's POV

"Woah! Just how many of them are there?!" I asked as I immediately started playing the game, fighting off the thousands of Shadowbolts that were attacking me. I was leading a few low ranking Wonderbolts myself as I was going head to head against my 'Alter Ego' as Video Game me called him, Wob Niar. Seriously, I don't even think a spikey haired defense attorney would even figure out what the heck a Wob Niar is for!

Before I had my try at the game, I let Fluttershy go ahead and try her tutorial first since I didn't think it'd be that fun. I mean learning about how to play a game?! That should be the most boring thing ever, right?!

But no! Instead these tutorial things talked to us as if it were all real, and the evil versions of us came when we were trying to learn how to move ourselves around!

Fluttershy's alter ego was really messed up though. She kidnapped animals of all sizes and transformed them into living piñatas called 'Sour Viva Piñatas!' Except, instead of being normal cheery piñatas like you see at birthdays, they were red and black colored, and looked even evil than something Discord would make.

The small time bad guys that Fluttershy had to fight were called Sour Macaracoons, Sour and Sour Mallowolves. Evil looking raccoons and wolves that had sharp teeth, which was how they fought. And the captain Piñatas were Sour Limeoceroses, evil rhinos with a horn that was sharper than a spike pit in one of the tombs Daring Do investigates!

Fluttershy was scared about hurting the Piñatas since they were 'still animals on the inside' as she put it. But the Video Game Fluttershy said that it would be okay. Whenever you beat up a Sour Viva Piñata, all you're doing is busting the shell that controlled the animal. So the raccoons and wolves inside would break out and run away completely safe. That made Fluttershy more than happy to beat up the Piñata's Shells and stop the evil her.

But after watching her fight off the Pinatas, I saw something different. Fluttershy didn't fight like how my character did. Big Mike then gave me a card that said that only three of the characters- me, Blitz, and Fluttershy -can fly around the stage naturally. But Fluttershy doesn't fight herself.

Instead, she has two squirrels on both sides of her, Angel on her back, and a hawk flying directly above her. They're the ones that do the fighting while Fluttershy just walks around with them and cheers them on. As well as flies all of them up, with the squirrels hanging onto Fluttershy's front legs so they could come too.

As for me, I fight with hooves-on action. Video Game me said that every pony-err-character, is put in three 'classes'. Speed, Strength, and Special. I was Speed, duh, along with Pinkie and Morgue. Which was 'locked' so we couldn't see what he looked like. I'm guessing Joe did that on purpose.

Strength had the same amount of characters as Special. There was Blitz, Big Mike, Applejack, and oddly enough Spike who were Strength. I didn't believe that Spike really fit there, but the video game suddenly started playing a small little video of Spike fighting when we sat at the menu for a few minutes doing nothing.

That was when I saw him mowing down teenage dragons made of lava as if they were nothing with his bare claws that came out of his hands like some kinda superpower! And he finished it all off by firing a bucking green fireball at ten of them at once!

Big Mike said that was one of Spike's 'Finisher' attacks. I didn't know what that meant, but when Big Mike said we had 'Four Awesome Special Moves Like Those!' I just wanted to see what move I had.

Finally there was Special, which was also called Range. Rarity, Twilight, Joe, and Fluttershy were all Specials. But we weren't allowed to see how their characters fought until we beat our own bad guys first.

"There's always thousands of bad guys to beat up! And the destruction is SO AWESOME!" Big Mike yelled out from his chair with an excited look on his face. "Joe says that this game is a lot like the game...Diner- no, Dynasty Warriors! You fight armies by yourself and take down fifty of them at once! I usually punch one guy! And then throw him at five other guys! And then I punch the ground! And they all fly up! And then they fall! AND SMASH! TOTAL! DSTRUCTION!" He yelled out, sounding like Snowflake whenever he was at the Wonderbolt Academy.

"So...Awesome!" I said just a little awkwardly before focusing back on the game. I didn't have that many Wonderbolts around to help me fight, only a few here and there fighting off one Shadowbolt at a time. I usually focused on these small square spaces with flags since that was were all the tougher fights were. A Captain Shadowbolt that could fly around just as much as I could.

Of course, they were pretty easy to beat up too. Even if I wasn't as strong as I was supposed to be in the video game, I blame Joe for that, my speed was pretty good here. So much so, that it was even kind of hard to follow my character as I just kept upper-cutting and kicking them with the momentum from flying back and forth.

Then I suddenly started glowing a gold-ish color as I kept fighting the captain enemy in the game. "Uh, Big Mike? What's happening?"

"Oh! That means that your Finisher Attack's ready! Or at least, your First Finisher Attack! Joe says that the longer you punch bad guys in the face, the more the Finisher Moves will charge up! But Joe didn't let me see what all your Finishers were. He said that all of you had to use them yourselves. You know the two buttons on the top?" Big Mike asked.

"Uh, you mean the trigger buttons?" I asked, putting my fingers over them. Forgetting for a second that I looked away from the screen. "Ah! Dumb Featherheads won't give me five seconds!..." I used a move that made me spin around mid-air and hit all bad guys from every direction.

"No. the, uh...The other buttons on the top! Press both of those!" He told me, not remembering what they were called. I think I know the names of the buttons more than he does!

"The left and right bumpers?!" I didn't try to look away from the game this time as I pressed the buttons. That's when everything froze up as a gold pulse came out from my character and the view zoomed in towards her.

Next, the X, Y, and B buttons flashed on screen. Y and B were greyed out, so I guessed that they were useless. But the X button was blue like the button on the controller. So after checking to make sure I would hit the right button, something really awesome happened.

She flew up in front of them and faced them all, blowing a strong gust of wind towards all the enemies with her. Then after they all fell backwards a few hooves away, video game me did flew up into a backflip to build up some momentum and then kicked her hind legs forward towards all of them that she blew back. Sending a powerful sonic boom towards them. Taking them all out with one hit!

"Woah! That was awesome! And that was just my first one?!" I asked Big Mike with a huge grin on my face.

"Yep! You have to hit them for a longer time before doing another Finisher though!" He told me, not looking away as the Wonderbolts claimed the square area around us.

That's when I saw a blinking bar on the top right. It had three sections to it and the first section finished up emptying out. I guess that's what Big Mike meant by me having to fight longer.

"Wob Niar, I hope you're ready. Because I'm saving my Finisher for you..." I said as I charged forward towards the other side of the level. I could see the level from here. A giant cloud castle with pieces of metal sticking out. All with Rainbows leaking out on all sides.

"Rainbows...How did Joe know about the stupid Rainbow Rumor?..." Honestly, that stupid scary story has always gotten on my nerves. The story was meant for little filly and colt Pegasi to scare them into doing the right thing. It said that any foal who were bad or flew outside the range of Cloudsdale would go to 'The Factory'.

And whenever those colts and fillies got old enough, it was just a fun thing to tease every pony with that rumor. And of course, Mom always had to have a Rainbow pond just outside our house! As if my mane and name weren't enough!

It wasn't really scary anymore. Maybe when I was four, but the second I realized that rainbows are just made from collected sunlight, water, and different colored flowers I figured out that the Rainbow Factory wasn't anything but a rumor.

Sadly, rumors are still pretty annoying. Even when you know they're fake. Those three jerks from Flight School always tried to bug me with it. I would've been glad to make them stay quiet about it, but Mom said she'd ground me if I did anything but ignore them.

Not wanting to think anymore about it, I shook my head and led my character towards the castle. Where I quickly saw Wob Niar standing on a platform that was just above the front courtyard. To which the doors were open widely for me to come inside. Probably a trap, but I could handle it.

"Well hello there Rainbow! How nice of you to volunteer!" Wob Niar yelled out with a crazy voice. Me as well as my character both glared at him, and then the screen moved to look at my character's face. Also showing the large gates slamming shut behind me.

"Wow. Didn't see that coming..." I said with a roll of my eyes.

"Let them go! Now!" My character said as she got ready to attack. At that moment, a few clouds floated over the courtyard and made an electric grid to trap me inside. Not only that, but Wob Niar was on the other side of the grid too. Meaning that I couldn't get him...Yet.

"Oh, I think not!" He yelled out. "But don't worry! I'll make sure that some of you and some of them are the same rainbow!" He then pointed up towards a window that began to open, showing four Pegasi that were all trapped inside of metallic pods. All on four different lines.

"Rainbow Dash!" Blitz yelled out upon seeing how I was about to fight Wob Niar.

"Please, let us go!" Fluttershy pleaded, looking about ready to cry.

"You'll never get away with this!" Daring Do yelled while slamming into the window of her pod.

"Just wait until we get out of here!" Spitfire tried to look at him, but couldn't quite see him.

"They never shut up, do they?!" He asked with a crazed grin. "Start up the conveyer belts! Then! Seize Rainbow Girl! Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha..." Wob Niar busted out laughing as he walked back inside his castle.

"WAH!" All four of them yelled out as the pods suddenly jerked forward. Tripping then to the floor since they had no warning as they each started moving forward towards different parts of the machine.

"No!" My character yelled out as she ran forward. Only to be stopped by a large group of Shadowbolts. "Oh, I do not have time for this!" She yelled out. And just to make it worse, a timer showed up on the top of the screen showing 01:30:00. Meaning 1 minute and 30 seconds.

"Rainbow Dash!" The screen zoomed into Fluttershy's pod as the other three went into some tunnels and disappeared. The camera looked at her pod before going down the conveyer belt itself. Showing how the track was going through a hole in the wall to get inside the first room and towards some razor blades.

There was a small walkway beside the conveyer belt though, so I guessed that's where I had to go in order to get Fluttershy out of her pod.

The camera then focused back on my character. "Don't worry Fluttershy, I'm coming!" I yelled out in real life, making Fluttershy blink in confusion. Surprisingly, she took whatever happened on these TVs really well. Even the violent parts. I guess since she knew that it was fake, she knew that there was nothing to be scared of. More than I can say than Applejack and Rarity, who thought whatever happened on these TV's were nothing but real.

Still, playing this game was kind of like reading the Daring Do stories! It was almost impossible not to feel like this was really happening! Of course it probably helps that the character I was playing was actually me.

"YEAH! BRING IT ON WOB E.R.!" Big Mike yelled out, sounding even more into the video game than I did. But that didn't matter. Right now, I had to save Fluttershy!

---

Station: Paperwork

1st Rotation- 2nd station

Team Earth Pony

Applejack's POV

"Well, I must say that you two have surprised me." Joe said as he looked over both our papers. "You two were able to fill out your papers exactly four minutes and fifty-nine seconds faster than Ms. Renee and Ms. Ashley had."

I still have no clue why Twilight chose that name of all these names that Joe said he had lined up. But at least both of them were a little easy to remember. As for the rest of this stuff, it all made enough sense. What all we wanted to know about, what we were good at, what we weren't good at, and our talents. At least the questions were easy to answer.

"Of course the chicken scratch is a little hard to read with yours, Ms. Pie." Joe went on as he kept on trying to read Pinkie's writing. And to be fair, Pinkie's writing wasn't too good as a pony either. She was only good at making banners since she tried to make the letters bigger. But with the invitations we always had to ask her to tell us what they were as she gave them to us. Elsewise, we'd have to try and decipher them like puzzles.

"I have a question." Pinkie announced as she rose her hand like we were a couple of fillies in school.

"Do all of you treat this like a day in school?" Joe frowned at us. "Seriously, what gives you the impression that this is a school? Is it the desk, or the paperwork?"

"I think it's just you. Ya kinda look like one of those really snotty university professors with the tidy hair, straight face, and glasses. But with the jacket it's like meeting that snotty professor at the marketplace. Kinda awkward, but you can't help but say hi to him!" Pinkie explained with a simple smile on her face the whole time.

"Uh...What she said." I agreed with a nod. "That pretty much hit the nail on the head."

"Terrific..." Joe took off his glasses and rubbed his forehead as he sighed. "Alright, well whatever the case for that, what was your question?"

"How's come you always say our names with Ms. or Mr.? You don't have to do that, we're friends after all!" Pinkie said with an even bigger grin.

"No, Ms. Pie, we aren't friends I'm afraid." He said while setting down Pinkie's paper and getting a second piece of paper to copy the writing. Copying everything faster than I've seen any pony write. Magic or not.

"Wha...What?" Pinkie's smile slowly started to go away.

"Nothing personal Ms. Pie. I just simply don't make friends. In fact, the only friends I have are my brother Big Mike, and my metaphorical brother, Morgue. I've known them since I was ten years old, and as I just explained to you I think of them as my brothers. As far as I'm concerned, everyone else is merely an acquaintance to me."

Joe didn't even look up as he finished up copying Pinkie's paper in record time as he kept that blank look going. I didn't even have to look towards Pinkie to see how that was going over with her.

"But...But...How can you just have two friends?!" She asked, grabbing the wrist Joe was using to write with. And I couldn't tell if it was because of Pinkie's tight grip or something else, but Joe looked to be in pain for as long as Pinkie kept her grip. "How's come you don't want anymore friends?!" She asked very aggressively.

"Ms...Pie...LET GO!" He yelled as he grabbed Pinkie's arm and twisted it. Forcing her to let go. But as soon as she let go, a sudden strong gust of wind came from behind Joe. Blowing some of the papers off the table, my hat off my head, and both me and Pinkie's hair back.

"What?" Joe kept on massaging his hand as he looked at both of our surprised expressions. "Ms. Pie, please never do that again. I hate pranks and by extension, I hate joy buzzers." First Big Mike, now Joe. I don't think Pinkie had a joy buzzer, so maybe it was the human clothes. If I remember right, Rarity once told me that clothes can have some static in them. Were we not wearing these right?

"Oopsy! Sorry Joe! If I knew you were going to blow wind in our faces, I would've just tried to ask if I could be a metaphorical sister!" Pinkie said, really meaning her apology.

"Alright; first off, no. There is no way on Earth that you're going to be my metaphorical sister, and I will carry that promise to my grave." Joe slowly got up as he held his head. Acting like he had a headache. "Second," He looked back behind him. "That wasn't me. I must've left the back door open by mistake and a gust of wind had blown through the house and out towards us. Excuse me for a second."

As he went over to the door, Pinkie decided to get up and collect the papers as a way of saying sorry. But as she did that, I couldn't help but notice that the door didn't look all that open. But whether that was the case or not, Joe opened it all the way whether it was closed or not and made sure to close it this time.

"Anyway, let us return to the task at hand. We still need to give you both new names. As you're probably aware, your Equestrian names won't fit here." Joe told us as he came back to his seat and sat down. Still holding his head. But he opened one of the drawers in his desk and took out some kind of pill that I guessed was for his head. Which he swallowed and chased down with whatever was in that flask he kept with him.

"What about my name?" Pinkie asked as she put my hat back on my head and sat down. Now glad to act well mannered. I'm guessing that she's not going to give up on trying to be Joe's friend.

"Ms. Pie, I'm afraid that Pinkamena won't cut it." Joe said with a shake of his head.

"Aw, I was trying to trick you into saying my name normally." She said with a smile, only to shake her head a sigh happily. "Oh well. No, I meant the middle part of my name. Diane."

"Diane?" Joe rechecked Pinkie's original paper. "Oh. My apologies, I misread it as Diem. May I suggest spacing your letters a bit." He said, not really caring how Pinkie would respond. Honestly, that's what all of us have wanted to say. Of course, we tried to think about her feelings instead of being a jerk about it.

"Yeah, my writing isn't really that good. But that's a good point, thank you for the honesty!" Pinkie said with a polite smile as she fluttered her eyes to try and play innocent.

"I also hate suck-ups, Ms. Pie. So it's best you just give up now." Joe said as he wrote down her new name on a third piece of paper.

I looked towards Pinkie and her eye twitched a little. Not only that, but I swear I saw a split-second glare coming from her before she quickly smiled innocently. "I have no I idea what you're talking about...Mr. Joe."

"Better." Joe said. "And to find a last name...How about your mother's last name, Quartz?" He asked.

"Oh! Yeah, that's great name! Hey! I never told you guys what my Mom was good at! Her talent was a lot like Rarity's! Except the cool part about it is that she can pick out any rock that has a Quartz in it without even picking it up! It was always so much fun because she would collect rose quartz and make necklaces out of them!" She sighed in bliss as she started going back over her memories. "Aren't Mom's awesome?!" She asked, throwing out the idea to try to get on Joe's good side.

"..."

"..."

Both of us just kinda...Nodded awkwardly on account of...Uh...Y-Yeah...

"...Oops." Pinkie said, her hair deflating almost halfway.

"Anyway," Joe cleared his throat after taking another sip of from his flask. "Ms. Applejack, we'll have to find your name. But luckily, AJ can work as a name to go by. Of course, they'll have to be initials for your first and second name. How does the name April Jennifer sound to you?"

"Hmm..." I tapped my hand to my chin in thought before coming to a choice. "I like the first name, but the second one ain't quite that good."

"Alright, well it has to start with a J...What about Jenny?" He offered.

"Nope."

"Jolie?"

"Nope."

"Juno?"

"Nope."

"Jen?"

"Nope."

"Jala?"

"Nope."

"Jessie?"

"Nope."

"Jewel?

"What do I look like, Rarity?"

"Jo?"

"Nope."

"Judy?"

"Nope."

"Juliette?"

"Nope."

"Jaclyn?"

"Nope."

"Jeez." He said with a deep sigh, taking off his glasses and reaching for his flask once more.

"Nah, I don't like that one neither." I shook my head before he gave me a tired stare and took a bigger sip from his sip.

"Ah..." He breathed after taking a sip and sealing up the flask and putting it off to the side. "Jeanette?"

"No-...Actually...Jeanette, huh? Ya know, I actually think that name's pretty good. Yeah, I'll take Jeanette. April Jeanette, er just AJ fer short." I said with a smile.

"Yes, now you have the same name as a wrestler from WWE. Congratulations." Joe said sarcastically as he wrote it down. Still, that didn't mind me. Wrestling wasn't all that different from pig wrangling. "And now for your last name."

"Wait, but I already have two names now. What'd I need another name fer?" Everyone else had two names, so what made my name so special?

"What makes your name so special, Ms. AJ," He said, looking directly into my eyes with his emotionless stare...Which scares me with his whole 'reading minds' trick. "Is that we just filled in your middle name. A middle name is optional, and in most cases official documents only care about the first letter of it is. But a last name basically represents what family line you're from. Of course 'The Apple Family' doesn't work here. Which is why I had asked for three of your relatives' names."

"Well, like I put on there, there was only enough room for Applebloom, Big Macintosh, and Granny Smith. Course, I got plenty more relatives where that came from. Want me ta list em off for ya?" I sat up excitedly, about to recite them all to help come up with a name. Only, Joe shushed me really quickly before I had the chance.

"No, that is quite alright Ms. AJ." He started writing a name down. "Smith is actually an average enough last name. Especially for an American. So with that filled in, we have some time left for some questions. So, is there anything you'd like to know?"

Pinkie Pie immediately raised her hand, where I just kept it down for now. I don't think I had any questions that were important right now anyway. Especially since Blitz had already explained how apples were picked in the human world.

And somehow, I still don't get why they'd pick them one at a time when a square buck to the center of a tree would knock them all down. Were humans just not strong enough? Because with humans the size of Big Mike, it seems pretty easy to me.

"Ms. Pie-" "Up, up, up! Ms. Quartz! Pie's not my name anymore!" She interrupted with a great big smile on her face as she kept her hand in the air.

"...Ms. Quartz..." Joe started, starting to sound a little angry from Pinkie's cheery tricks of her own. "Would you please refrain from raising your hand? The entirety of you all keep thinking I'm a teacher, and- Well, I just see it as an insult."

"Sorry, it just fits." She apologized, if not a bit calmly. "But still, you never answered my question from before. Why do you call us Miss or Mister? You don't do that with Big Mike? Is it because he's your brother?"

Me and Joe both looked towards Pinkie in a silent breath of...Well, maybe you could call it shock. It was just that Pinkie seemed very serious about getting that answered and if that wasn't enough, her hair was still halfway deflated. I hadn't seen her so upset since that incident with her birthday. Not even with Discord or that Chrysalis mare, she was more determined than angry or depressed.

"Well, that's only half of it Ms. Pie." Joe straightened his glasses once more before taking out that flask again and taking another sip. What was in that thing that was so tasty, apple cider? "You see, humans are very sociable creatures, as are ponies I imagine. And because of that, we tend to grow attached to those around us. And to try and keep myself from growing attached to others..." He trailed off and took another small sip so Pinkie could finish.

"You call them something like Ms. Pie or Mr. Spike to try and stay away from everyone." She finished, thinking about that for a second. "Which means the only way that any pony could make you their friend," He hair instantly poof-ed up out of joy. "Is if they got you to say their name normally! Okay then! That means that all I have to do is get you to say Pinkie Pie enough times, and you'll have be my friend whether you like it or not!"

What kinda backwards logic made her think that?

"Pinkie...I don't think that's how it goes." I gave her a raised eyebrow in question to her plan. Joe doesn't look like the kind of pony-err-person that would accept that idea.

Still, I guess it's pretty easy for me to be proven wrong. "Well if that is truly the case, then how's about a challenge Ms. Pie?" Joe sealed his flask and put it away. Smirking very faintly for a few seconds as he straightened his glasses.

"Because you've actually managed to impress me with that very small amount of inductive reasoning," Wait a second, that was 'impressive' to him? "How about we let us try to put your theory to work. Hm?"

"Why I think that idea is most grand, Master Joe!" Pinkie spoke in a real fancy, Canterlot voice before bursting out into a fit of giggles. "What did you have in mind?"

"If you can somehow manage to make me call you by only your name without any surname before it five times, no matter how long that takes to be accomplished, than I'll concede defeat and call you a friend from then on. Deal?" Joe held out his fist to hoof bump Pinkie's hand. It didn't look like something Joe would do, but my guess was that he was just trying to be considerate or something about how me made deals back home.

"Deal!" Pinkie went ahead and just shook Joe's fist anyway. Once again, making Joe wince in pain as if he was being shocked again. Luckily for him, Pinkie made it quick and let go before Joe tried to push her away again. "And until we're friends for real, I'll just keep calling you Mr. Joe, Mr. Joe!"

"Charming..." Joe shook his hand to try and get the shocking feeling gone and checked his watch. "Well, it seems that it's finally time to go to the next station. Good luck with the obstacle course...Ms. Pie." He then got up to ring the dinner bell that he had set up next to the megaphone.

"You got it!...Mr. Joe." Pinkie said with a smile before getting up and walking over to the Obstacle Course, humming a happy tune all the way there.

"Gosh. You'd think those two are flirtin' with them names..." I muttered as quiet as I could. Not wanting either of them to hear me. This was gonna be some bet between them.

---

And that'll do it for this chapter! Sorry it's shorter than the others, but I couldn't figure out how to move on to the next part in the same chapter. But don't worry, because thankfully we'll finally move on from these tests! So that'll be something to look forward too!

As to where we're going, I think I'll leave that for you to guess. But I guess I should leave some kind of hint...

NAH! You guys don't need a hint! You're all too smart! You'll probably figure it out sooner or later.

QotC: What's the one thing that every mall needs? And you can't name a certain store.