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A Brony Life

by 4428gamer

Chapter 60: Broncolyn! (Episode 4)

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Trixie: Why hello there readers, and welcome to Trixie's intro! Now I know that all of you humans are just as happy to see Trixie as Trixie is to see all of you, but I'm afraid that again we'll have to bring in a special guest once again. So please welcome for their sake, here's-

HOLD IT! *as a portal suddenly opens up, me and Dino coming out. Dino wearing a top hat and me in a tux* Trixie, I'm not letting you butcher my intro any longer!

Trixie: And you decided not to face Trixie and get new clothes why?

Oh, well the thing is Dino wanted a top hat, so I had Rarity make him one... Then she said that since Dino's always with me, she convinced me to have her make me a custom-made tux that looks kinda like James Bond's. Except, without the bow tie and with just a normal tie inste- why am I explaining this?! Look, I came to put a stop to you!

Trixie: And how do you think you can stop the Great and Powerful Trixie?!

Oh, I don't know... Like this probably. *I snap my fingers and a pair of eyes with red lips appear next to me, looking at Trixie*

Face: IMA FIRN MAH LAZER! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *A huge lazer than shoots out of the face's mouth and at Trixie, flying her into a wall*

Trixie: Alright Zeke... I see that we're evenly matched... *As she got off of the imprint she left in the wall*

Yeah...sure...If you say so...

Trixie: So how about a deal? You and I can become co-commentators? Every pony wins then!

*I frown, but knowing that Trixie won't leave, I sighed* Fine. You can stay. But I'm still bringing in guest stars, so don't think that it's all aimed on... *I stopped talking as I saw Trixie monologuing to herself about how she was the Great and Reasonable Trixie*

Sure... Oh well, let's just do the top three comments, then the rest of it all.

3: Christ's Disciple. When you put it like that, there's a plus side and a down side! Plus side, they'll learn about the world and Elements of Harmony. Which is important. Trixie, care to tell the downside?

Trixie: Downside, no pony would ever accept that as a good reason. Still, they made a good cover for getting out of school. Especially when they're parents aren't there any more to stop them.

Shush! We're not allowed to give out back story or exposition in the intros unless it's already been mentioned!

Trixie: Well, you wrote the scripts. Both in real life, and in the reality of the intro.

Err... Be lucky that making this whole intro already breaks fourth wall. Because if it didn't, I would make you Pinkie's long-lost sister in the story.

2: Tied with TongueTwisted and whovian803. Pfft... BWAHAHAHAHAHA! *falls to the ground in laughter*

Trixie: That's not funny! Why would you put those two as the second favorite comment?! *She asks with a terrified look*

Just to see the look on your face! Hahaha!... *after seeing Trixie glare, I cleared my throat* Sorry, but I'm just practicing for what may or may not be a horror story I might think about doing for Halloween... Anyway, back on topic. Top Comment!

1: NoPonyYouKnow. Wow, you're right! I don't know you!

Trixie: You don't know almost all of them. So that's kind of obvious.

Again, shut it. You're spoiling it.

But anyway, you're right about something else! 'Song I' was The Incredibles! I'm glad you liked the reference too! I thought it up after watching some conspiracies about an Incredibles 2! They said that Disney has planed to make it, along with a Toy Story 4, and Finding Nemo 2 (Which I really hope those last two will never happen.) And with Superheroes being a good theme right now, it's possible! Not to mention, Mr. Incredible is one of the three starting characters in Disney Infinity. And not else to mention, Monster's University was made! (Wish I'll see it soon cause I haven't seen it yet...)

So yeah, here's hoping for that to happen!

Okay, let's do this! Start the-

Trixie: Wait! You promised the readers a guest star in every intro! And since Trixie will from now on be the co-commentator, you still need a guest star!

Oh crap, you're right Trixie! Let's see... Not much time in the intro left so... Wait, I have an idea!

*Pulling out a portal gun, I fired into the wall, creating a blue portal. Tom flying out and landing in front of me, Trixie, and Dino*

Trixie: Every pony, you remember Tom right?! Yes?! No?! Okay good! *she said as fast as possible*

*firing another blue portal under Tom so he would leave as fast as he did come, I grinned towards the audience* Alright every pony, enjoy the first chapter of the episode! *I said just as fast as Trixie*

Trixie and Me: BYE!

Intro Area Decorations to Date: A very realistic sky with a sun in the middle, A baby pony-sized T-Rex with a top hat named Dino, wires all around the floor, scorch markings on the floor that spell out 'Blitz Waz Herez', the TARTIS, a giant golden statue of Stepony (Pony Stephano) who is wearing a Trixie shirt, a chalkboard with names of most the main characters that have tallies under each of them (Rarity having the most), cracks on the ground as well as in the wall, banners with Trixie's Cutie Marks on them, a Trixie shaped imprint on the wall.

Disclaimer (As told by Trixie): Zeke does not own MLP. All he owns is this idea, Blitz, Dino, RJ, Jumpy, and anything else that he's personally created throughout the story. That not including the three background characters that belong to three of the readers that read this story!


Blitz's POV

"Oh, I can't believe it! All of us are going to Broncolyn!" Pinkie Pie screamed in delight, bouncing up and down in her seat as she kept squealing in delight.

"As am I! Once I get there, I can finally see all the sights and see just what fashion trends Broncolyn has right now!" Rarity said, giggling at the thought of her becoming the most known pony in Broncolyn. Despite the fact that none of us have ever gone there. Or anywhere close to it before. "Blitz, I can't thank you enough for inviting us all!" She told me, happy that I invited her an the others to come with me.

"Uh-huh..." I said, paying next to no attention. All I really heard her say is 'Blitz' and 'thank'. So I just figured that she was thanking me about something.

"Yeah! Thank ya kindly Blitz! If'n there's anythin' we can do ta make it up to ya, all ya gotta do is ask!" Applejack said, agreeing with Rarity.

"Got it..." I said, only hearing something about asking them something. What they wanted me to ask, I had no idea.

"Blitz? Are you even paying attention?" Rainbow Dash asked, waving a hoof behind the book I was trying to read, me barely seeing it out of the corner of my eye.

"Barely..." I answered truthfully, able to hear her just fine since she was right in front of me.

"Um Blitz... What are you reading?" Fluttershy asked as she came up as well.

"Book..." I answered simply, trying to focus on it. Usually whenever I read anything, I could keep up a decent conversation as I read it. But that was because I don't put all of my focus into it. But on the few occasions where I did devote my entire attention to a book, I only heard like one or two words any pony said. So basically, I was able to hold a better conversation than Twilight. But just barely, as I didn't only say 'uh-huh' for every answer.

"Oh, right, sorry... My bad." Fluttershy said, dismissing her question since she saw that I was busy.

"Ya think?" Twilight out of them all asked me as she levitated the book out of my hooves and towards her. Careful not to lose my spot as she checked the front of the book.

"Cloud House Materials." Twilight read out-loud. "You're building a cloud house?" She asked.

And since that was a kind of dumb question, I couldn't keep myself from doing a 'Here's Your Sign' joke. "Nope. I hid a treasure map in there to hide it from you guys." I said, taking the book back and looking at the page number to try to memorize just where I was.

Pinkie then gasped, jumping over and snatching the book from me, flipping the pages to look for the 'treasure map'. "Where is it?! I wanna find the treasure!" She then gasped real loudly. "Finally, I have a reason to wear my pirate hat!" She said, pulling a pirate hat out from under her mane. Putting it on, she then felt around under the seats, pulling out a few other pirate stuff.

"And Blitz can wear this eye patch over his eye! Then Applejack can wear this peg leg!" She said, letting go of the eye patch after it got around my head, slapping me around my fake eye. Which hurt the part around my eye a little.

Then after somehow getting Applejack in a peg leg, she then turned to Rarity. "Next, Rarity can wear this rag over her mane!"

"Pinkie, don't you dare put that on-" But Rarity's warning was too late as Pinkie got the rag over her mane, messing it up to Rarity's dismay.

"Next, we need Fluttershy to swab the poop deck! You know, cause it's so dirty!" She said, getting out a bucket and rag, placing it on Fluttershy's back, making her slip and fall to the ground.

"Don't forget, we need some pony to keep a look out for any enemy pirates that are after our treasure!" Pinkie said, tossing Rainbow Dash a spyglass.

"And finally, Twilight! You are hence forth known as, First Mate Sparkle!" She said, putting a wooden sword in Twilight's mouth.

Twilight then frowned, talking through the sword. "Pinkie, I don't think Blitz was-"

"Up up up! That's Captain Pie to you, landlubber!" 'Captain Pie' told Twilight with a serious look.

I then frowned, getting my book back. "Pinkie, I was joking! There is no treasure!" I told her.

She then gasped at me. "Ye be lyin ta yer Cap'n?! Ye best be ready ta walk tha plank!" She said, frowning at me.

"Wait, you can't make me walk the plank!" I told her. "There isn't even a plank to walk on!"

"Now ye be back talkin' yer Cap'n?! I'll make ye swag the poop deck with Scallywag Flutters fer that!" She threatened.

"Oh yeah?! Well good luck with that Captain Pie, cause I ain't... The hay am I doing..." I asked, wondering just why I was going along with this craziness.

I then shook my head and got back in my seat, opening my book back up to the rightful page. Almost done with this dull book. About time too.

"Attention every pony! We'll be arriving in Broncolyn in just a few minutes! Be ready to..." The Train Conductor began, but as he saw all seven of us with pirate costumes on, he just stood there awkwardly for a few moments. "B-be ready to pass over the Broncolyn Bridge soon.." He said with a calm and confused voice, leaving the car right afterwards.

All of them then went to one side of the train, looking off the side of the Broncolyn Bridge as we passed over it. And since the station was right after the bridge, I simply closed my book shut, sighing in annoyance since I couldn't finish this boring dry book before getting to Broncolyn.


"And... Done!" I said, finishing that stupid book! "Man, could they make it any harder to read?! Anyway, thanks for holding the book for me Twilight." I told her. She was levitating the book in front of me with her magic making it possible for me to read and walk. That way we could to the right place.

"No problem Blitz." Twilight said, placing the book in my satchel bag which I had with brought with me. "So why do you need to build a cloud house anyway?" She asked, all of them wanting to know.

"I tried to tell you guys before we left, but you were all so excited about the trip that I never got to tell you guys." I told them.

"Oh my. We're sorry Blitz. We didn't mean to." Fluttershy apologized.

"It's fine. Besides, it doesn't really concern you guys. You see, some pony that lives here tried asking this town's construction crew to build a cloud house. But when they said that they would be too busy to build it, they looked around for some pony else to build it. And I guess word has gotten around that the Ponyville Construction Crew beat Flim and Flam's machine, and they asked us." I told them, filling them in on it all.

"Don't ya mean, you single hoofingly beat their machine?" Applejack reminded me.

"Meh." I said shrugging it off. Didn't really matter to me whether ponies knew I did it by myself or with some of the others. As long as the crew got recognition, I was fine. In fact, I probably wouldn't care either way.

"So, why are you the only one here anyway?" Twilight asked. "Shouldn't there be more of you coming to build it?"

"Well, there's only seven pegasi that are on the crew in total. But since they're really behind schedule on a project, they only sent me. They're trying to build this seven story building, but it fell apart. So, that left me to come with six extra tickets for you guys." I told them.

"Fell apart?" Twilight asked, suddenly nervous about something.

"Yeah. It's weird though. Jumpy told us all that he saw a foal sitter with two babies, and they scared him into one of the support beams. But it makes no sense, because what idiot would let babies wander onto a construction site?" I asked, not really expecting much of an answer.

"Hehehe... Yeah... Sounds pretty foolish alright..." Twilight said, sounding nervous even more. But for what reason would she be nervous about? She's not a foal sitter.

"But anyways, with only me building this house I had to learn how to build one first. So that's what I did on the long train ride over." I told them. Too bad for that too, because that was actually my first ever train ride. Stupid dry book.

"So who asked for the house?" Rainbow Dash said, flying up beside me.

"Don't know. All I do know is that there a griffon. That and, they already have some blueprints for the house." I told them, not knowing much else. The name on the order was in chicken scratch, so anything they wrote was impossible to read. And no, it wasn't cursive. All I could tell was that they checked the box next to 'Griffon'. This way I could make the dimensions of the house perfect for Griffons. Since they were bigger than ponies, that was important.

"A griffon huh?" Twilight asked. "Well, how are you supposed to find out just where they might be anyway? I mean, there are more griffons here than in somewhere like Ponyville." She told me.

"Well after reading the paper enough times, I was able to figure out that it said something about meeting just outside of Broncolyn, where a few other cloud houses would be." I told them. "Which reminds me, you guys don't need to come with me. I mean, I'm the only one here that can build this thing so you guys can go and look around Broncolyn." I told them, knowing that they couldn't really help.

"Wait a second! What do you mean you're the only one that can build it?!" Rainbow Dash asked, landing in front of me. Getting in my way.

"Well, only pegasi can build the house, and I don't think you can read blueprints." I told her, knowing she couldn't. To be clear only me, Applejack, and Rarity could read blueprints. Rarity only able to read prints that talk about designs and not building structures, but she could read some building prints too if she had too.

"I might not be an egghead like Twilight, but I can still read!" She said, mistaking what I said for an insult.

But I still couldn't pass this offer up. "Alright then. Tell me the length times width times height of this blueprint." I said, pulling out one of the papers that were sticking out of my satchel, tossing it to her.

She caught it and unrolled it on the ground, letting us all see her read it. "Let's see... It's uh..." I tried to keep myself from laughing as I watched her try to read the blueprint, and fail. Although behind me I could hear Rarity and Applejack snickering and trying hard not to laugh.

"Aha! It's 24X32X20!" She said, actually right. Although, that wasn't enough as I continued.

"Good! Now, what are the measurements in?" I asked, this being the hard one.

"That's easy! There... There... What is that supposed-I mean... Hifs! There in hifs!" She said smirking in victory at the three of us that were snickering. "See?! Told you I can-"

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Me, Applejack, and even Rarity blurted out as we all fell to the ground in uncontrollable laughter.

"What?!" Rainbow Dash asked, wanting to know just why we were laughing like hyenas.

"Hifs huh?!" I said in between laughs. "Well that's a weird name!" I managed to say.

"Well that's what it says!" She said, defending herself.

"Rainbow my dear," Rarity said, regaining most of her composure as me and AJ were still laughing our tails off. "what you read was 'hf' right?" Rarity asked.

"Yeah! But, how am I supposed to pronounce it?!" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Darling, it's an abbreviation. 'Hf' stands for hoof." Rarity explained. This making Rainbow Dash look back at the paper before chuckling nervously.

"Okay, so maybe I don't know blueprints. I was still able to build my house without them anyway." She bragged. Even though that wasn't exactly a thing to brag about.

"I didn't think you'd get stuck on the measurements though." I said, me and AJ both calming down at this point.

Hf. was the most common measurement there was in Equestria. The first day of being on the Ponyville Construction Crew, I learned pretty quick that their measurements were different from the ones I was used. Instead of measuring in 'feet', ponies measured in 'hooves'. Which were six inches long. Making one hoof half a foot long.

That was pretty much the only difference though. Inches, centimeters, yards, miles? All those were the same. So that shed that was 24X32X20? Yeah, that was in hooves. In feet, it was 12X26X10.

In all realness though, it was actually pretty easy to pick up on. Though, every blueprint I make is still in feet from habit. This way, only I can read them. Making them impossible for any pony to just copy and steal from.

"Whatever." Rainbow Dash said as she picked up the blueprint and gave it back to me. And while putting it in my satchel, she spoke up. "Let's find that Griffon!" She said, wanting to change the subject.

"It's right around that corner." I pointed to the final turn that led out to the outskirts of Broncolyn. It was pretty obvious because we could see the tops of cloud houses from above the tall Broncolyn buildings.

As they all then started to run off towards the corner, I simply walked calmly. Knowing that with only me building the house, I had to save my energy. Especially since I only brought two storm cloud cupcakes. That barely enough to build the foundation and frame-work for a cloud house.

But as I turned the corner, I saw that my friends were all staying perfectly still. Looks of shock from Pinkie Pie. Anger from Rainbow Dash. And even terror from Fluttershy. The others had looks that showed all three of these, but all of them were thinking the same thing. And to prove it, they all said the same thing simultaneously.

"GILDA?!" They all stated in shock, not believing what was directly in front of them.


And so ends the first chapter! Hope you all didn't have to wait too long for it, and I hope all of you like the episode as a whole! Honestly, I hope it wasn't filled with too many dry moments like measurements in hf. instead of ft. but trust me, it'll all have a point to it!

Next chapter coming tomorrow! Until next time every pony!

QotC: What do you think Broncolyn would look like?

Next Chapter: Gilda's Revenge (Episode 4) Estimated time remaining: 0 Minutes
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