Act II Scene VII

(Celestia walks into Pinkie Pie's bedroom. There are twenty mattresses stacked onto each other at the right of the room.)

[Celestia]

Seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty. There; that should do it. Oh, and one tiny pea that I had to bring up all the way to the pantry, all the way up the most hoof-killing stairs in the kingdom.

(She takes out the pea and puts it underneath the mattress.)

Alright, you can come in now.

(The ladies come in)

Did you bring in the hypnotic mirror?

[Octavia]

Yes, madam.

[Celestia]

And the rest of the things?

[Vinyl Scratch]

Yes, madam.

[Celestia]

And the mare; where is the mare? Doesn't she know that it's long past her bedtime? Well, if I were her, I would be dropping from exhaustion.

(Pinkie Pie enters yawning)

Oh, there you are. Are you ready for bed? You must be sure to get a great night's sleep so you'll be fresh early tomorrow morning for the trip back to your kingdom… or wherever it is you're going. Bring the hypnotic mirror!

(Octavia steps forward with the mirror)

[Pinkie Pie]

Y'know, I think I'm getting something up right here!

(She points to up her nose)

[Celestia]

Drink a little extract of opium and warm milk before bed, that's what I always say.

(She gives Pinkie Pie the drink)

Now drink it down. I'm sure that you're going to have absolutely no problem drifting off, but just in case, I prepared a very special treat for you. Bring in the nightingale!

(Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo enter with a large cage with Rarity in a nightingale costume inside it.)

[Rarity]

(To herself, annoyed)

I can't believe that I have to be forced to wear this outfit. I know that the writer is trying to give me more screen time, but why must she force me to do embarrassing things for it? She is so sued after this whole thing is over.

[Celestia]

(Whispers to Rarity)

Do you want to be paid extra for this gig or not?

[Rarity]

…yes.

[Celestia]

Then do as you're told, and she said if you even think about filing that lawsuit, no paycheck.

[Rarity]

Fine!

[Celestia]

Any-who, sing!

(Rarity sings a soothing song to put Pinkie Pie to sleep)

My dear, why aren't you in bed?

(Pinkie Pie is seen climbing up the mattresses)

[Pinkie Pie]

I'm almost there!

[Celestia]

Help her up!

(Lyra, Bon Bon, Octavia, and Vinyl Scratch help her up the mattresses)

Well, at least one person is gonna get a good-night's sleep tonight.

(She and the ladies exit when Pinkie Pie is at the top and she lies down. She tosses and turns)

[Pinkie Pie]

Alright! Alright! Watch out, lumps!

(She beats the mattress and tries to go back to sleep, but she still tosses and turns. She looks at Rarity.)

What are you, some kind of alarm clock?

(She tosses and turns some more)

Alright, let's start from the beginning.

(Imitating Yakko Warner from Animaniacs)

Goodnight, everypony!

(She tries to go back to sleep, but she tosses and turns some more)

Oh look! Twenty downy mattresses! I'm going to sleep like a baby!

(She tries to go back to sleep, but she tosses and turns some more. She looks at Rarity again in anger.)

SHUT UP!

(Rarity grabs her things)

[Rarity]

I'll be in my trailer! This is so not worth an extra twenty bits in cash!

(She storms off. Pinkie Pie tosses and turns some more.)

[Pinkie Pie]

Alright, sheep! I'm ready when you are! One, two, three…

(She lies on the bed and continues counting.)