Sometime in the distant future, at the Hasbro Studios in Pawtucket, Rhode Island, the Mane 6 are sitting around in an office with a top executive of the company.

"So…we're all aware that My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic got cancelled, right?"

Rarity nodded while combing her mane.

"So…I am proposing a new plan that will keep the My Little Pony name living on!"

"G5?" Rainbow Dash questioned.

"No…You will each be getting your own spin-off."

Rarity dropped the comb in her hooves, then ran up and hugged him.

"Oh, thank you thank you thank you! I've already got an idea: A drama about a rich, beautiful pony (played by me, of course), who battles the constant abuse of bleach on all of her delicates, thanks to the maid who doesn't know you're not supposed to put delicates in the washing machine. You wash them by hoof. And I'm only hiring her because she saved my life that one fateful night in British Columbia."

"Um…" Fluttershy started. "That's great, but I was thinking about retir-"

"This is gonna be awesome!" Rainbow Dash yelled. "I get to show people my skills without any back story whatsoever! Just 30 minutes of dangerous stunts and death-defying feats not achieved by any pegasus pony anywhere!"

"Okay, great. And, uh, just so you know, they'll all be on the Hub, which has become a major network since it first started in 2010."

"Hey, let's not let our spin-offs interfere with our friendship, okay?" Twilight said.

"Yeah," Applejack agreed. "Let's stay close and call each other still."

"How about I throw a big, huge party for this?!"

"Great idea, Pinkie."

"Now, hold on, you've all gotta sign these contracts."

They all took pens in their mouths and signed their individual contracts.

"Great! Call me with your ideas for shows tomorrow."

The executive producer left the room and left them to talk about how excited they were.

"Why couldn't we just do G5?" an intern asked him.

"Are you nuts? My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic was on Time's Best 100 Cartoons of the Decade list, an achievement never obtained by any My Little Pony cartoon before them. No way could another generation capture that. Especially after…that."

He pointed to a long, forgotten, dust-covered G3.5 poster of Baby Scootaloo.

"Aaaaaah!" the intern fell down, terrified.

"The worst mistake our company ever made will be no more. These ponies shall live on!"

"But, sir, they've got to die some time."

The producer looked at them through the window, chatting away and happy as ever.

"Oh, I don't think they will, James. I don't think they will."

"Uh…my name's Carl."

"Go get me some more coffee."

"Yes, sir."

Carl ran down the hallway as the producer continued to look with intrigue at the ponies.

"Howdy, y'all, welcome to mah show. Today, we're gonna be makin' a-"

"Can ah be on the show?!"

"Naw, Apple Bloom. I promised you some airtime, but after this, okay, sugarcube?"

"Okay."

"Today, we're gonna be makin' a nice barrel to fill with all the apples you'll be buckin' down this harvest season. What you're gonna need first is-"

"Hey, Apple Bloom!"

The camera panned over to Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Apple Bloom, all a little older since the show started. They even got their cutie marks.

"Whatcha doin'?"

"Watchin' Applejack do a show."

"Applejack's got a show?"

"Yep, her own spin-off."

"What's a spin-off?"

"Uh…" Applejack started. "You're kinda on it right now."

Scootaloo made the cutest happy face known to man. She then grabbed the camera.

"Hey, Mom! And Rainbow Dash! It's Scootaloo. If you're watching this, uh…Hi!"

"Hey, with that camera, we could film people doing things they don't want to be seen doing," Sweetie Belle suggested.

The three friends ran off with the camera.

"Hey! Get back here, you punks! That's a $10,000 video camera!" yelled the cameraman.

Patchy the Pirate: It's a $40 value!

"Y'all can borrow mah camera if ya' want."

Applejack held out her iPhone.

"Ain't this cool? Ya' just press a button, and you got a picture camera. Flip a switch…and it's video. All in one app."

The camera crew wasn't impressed.

With no camera, Applejack's show was cancelled before one episode aired. However, it is rumored that the former Cutie Mark Crusaders' film is making it big on the underground market.

"Hello…um…welcome. This is kinda my first episode of my yoga show, and, um…if it's not too much trouble, let's start with some basics. Now, please get down on your hooves and knees, and start by tucking your head in…take a deep breath…and breathe out…Do this for a few more times, we're just getting warmed up…What's that?"

"The microphone. We can barely hear you back here."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

The timid pony continued her show.

"Um…how many ponies did you say were gonna be watching?"

"Millions."

Fluttershy's face became very fearful, and she hid behind the couch.

"It's okay, Fluttershy. People like you. You'll be fine."

"Yeah, they think you're…cute."

She poked half of her face out from behind the couch.

"I'm…cute?"

"Yeah. Really cute."

"A-and pretty!"

"Well…okay."

Fluttershy was blushing, and obviously flattered.

"Let's continue. Next, we'll get into some-"

"Seriously, she is HOT," whispered one cameraman while Fluttershy continued with the show. "And I don't think she uses any makeup or anything."

"You gonna ask her out?"

"No, I don't think it's legal for humans to date horses."

"Huh. It's a cryin' shame, ain't it?"

"Well, I'll just draw pictures of her in my mom's basement."

"Sicko."

He continued to film the yellow pegasus pony.

"It's a healthy way to vent your desires."

"No, it's clopping, and people like you should be thrown in jail."

Fluttershy had a good first episode. Unfortunately, after a bad review from the New York Times, she became so self-conscious that she cancelled it. However, she released some episodes straight-to-video, and it has really been doing wonders for me. I've been really stressed lately because of the divorce, and-

"Who are you?" Fluttershy asked from her recliner.

I'm the narrator.

"Well…could you please narrate quieter? Because Angel's trying to sleep."

She pointed to the sleeping white ball of fur on her lap.

Okay, I'm sorry.

She smiled and lightly petted him.

"Hey, kids! You know what time it is?!"

"PINKIE PIE TIME!"

Pinkie burst out of a cake, and all the fillies and colts in the audience cheered. Confetti rained down on them, and they all tried to catch some.

"Welcome to the show, kids! Since this is our first episode EVER, I wanted to introduce you all to my friend, Gummy! Say, 'Hi, Gummy!'"

"HI, GUMMY!"

Pinkie's pet alligator blinked his trademark blink.

"He says hi, too. I can speak alligator, ya' know. And a bit of crocodile."

The children oohed and ahhed at Pinkie's remark.

"Who wants to visit Madame le Flour?"

"ME!"

"Let's go!"

Pinkie bounced to a cardboard house and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Pinkie imitated Madame le Flour. A while back, she decided to use characters from her outbursts of craziness to entertain kids.

"It's me, Pinkie!"

"Vat do you want, pink one?"

"I brought some sugar!"

"Vat is this 'sugar' you speak of?"

"Come on out, and I'll show ya'! The kids are waiting!"

The audience begged for her to come out.

"Alright, already. Keep your goidle on."

The sack of flour eventually made it out of her house.

"Where is the sugar, pink one?"

Pinkie grabbed the flour and kissed her. All the children in the audience went crazy.

"Vat did you do that for?!"

"That's the sugar I was talking about!"

The audience and some of the parents laughed.

"Well, um…I have a favor to ask of you, pink one."

"Anything, Madame le Flour. That's what good friends are for."

"For the one millionth time, we are not friends! We are neighbours! Anywho, I have these flowers in the backside of my yard, yet I cannot water them because I lack…appendages."

APPENDAGES!

"You said the secret word!"

"Hey, could you goils keep it down? I'm tryin' tah get some shuteye!" Rocky yelled from his cardboard apartment.

"It's 10:00 in the morning, Rocky! Wake up, silly!"

"Naw, because I was up all night doin' illegal drugs."

The children booed at Rocky. The parents were getting more nervous.

"Rocky, I'm disappointed! Illegal drugs are bad for your heart! Hey, kids, what do we do to ponies, or rock piles, who use illegal drugs?

"BEAT THEM SENSELESS UNTIL THEY CONFORM!"

The children ran up to Rocky and were about to slug him.

"Wait! You can't punch rocks, silly fillies. So we'll find another way."

Pinkie put TNT around Rocky that led to a button.

"Okay, we'll all count down to three, and when I push this button, Rocky will explode!"

Squidward: You were supposed to explode into a million pieces!

"Ready?!"

"3! 2! 1!"

The pink Earth pony pushed the button that sent Rocky and his cardboard apartment building up in flames. The kids continued to cheer as the fire alarm went off and water sprinkled down on Pinkie and the others. Most of the parents carried their children out.

"You're really weird," commented Madame le Flour.

"Why, thank you, Madame le Flour!"

Pinkie's show was cancelled for obvious reasons.

"Alright, you guys ready for this?"

Rainbow Dash was on one of the skids of a helicopter. It was a clear, cloudless day, thanks to her, yet she was so high up that the features of the ground below her were miniscule.

"I am 50,000 feet in the air, and I am gonna jump right off this helicopter! Now, I know what you're thinking, 'Oh, but she has wings, yadda yadda yadda.' Well, my wings? Tied behind my back."

She showed them the proof.

"And they're enchanted ropes, so these babies won't come off until after I complete the stunt! No parachutes, no guards, just a little trampoline, like, way below!"

"You ready, Rainbow Dash?" one of the people on the ground asked her through a walkie-talkie.

"Always ready," she replied, trying to sound cool and not worried.

"Okay, you are good to go."

Rainbow took a deep breath and stepped off of the helicopter. She was spinning and tumbling in the air at first, then stabilized and played a little game of cards with herself. She even had time to check her pockets, play an air guitar solo, and do a few somersaults and cartwheels in midair before she prepared to land on the trampoline. The bounce must've taken her 100 feet up, before she bounced back down again and came to a safe halt in the center of a huge crowd that had gathered.

"Piece of strawberry cake."

The whole crowd cheered for her as she opened a Mountain Dew and the enchanted ropes came off.

"Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash!" the crowd chanted.

"Aw, come on, guys. That was an easy one."

"Oh, my God. Rainbow Dash…you're crazy dude." The stoner in the audience gave a wheezy laugh.

"Bold and daring is a better choice of words, my friend. But if you guys wanna see a real stunt…"

The cerulean blue pony flew up and left a rainbow trail in the shape of her cutie mark. Then, she did a few loop-de-loops in the air while also spinning sideways, flew as high as she could, then stopped and let herself fall. The audience held their breath as she was spinning towards the Earth below, but at the last second, her wings unfurled and she came to a safe halt.

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA H!"

Halfway into the first episode, Rainbow Dash horribly injured her left wing. Doctors said she could never fly again…Just kidding. She could fly again in a few weeks, but people had lost interest by then.

"I haven't!" Pinkie was dressed in Rainbow Dash souvenirs.

Of course you haven't, Pinkie. How's that lawsuit going for you?

"Eh, not so good. I've got to spend 500 hours in community service. It's not that bad, really. I like to entertain the ponies at the retirement home. And I had to apologize to those kids for some reason. They said they forgive me."

Do they, now?

"Yep! Plus, I've got this fun little bracelet on my hoof! They call it a tracking device."

"Pinkie! This is my chapter!"

"Oh, sorry, Rainbow Dash."

"You had yours, remember?"

"Yeah, I remember."

The pink pony headed towards the retirement home.

"So...Mr. Narrator...how's the narrating business?"

It's...alright, I guess.

"That's cool...who are we doing next?"

Rarity.

"Rarity...How'd that drama work out for her?"

The studio didn't like the idea, so she came up with a new one.

"Huh. What is it?"

You'll have to find out.

"Should be an interesting chapter."

Rainbow Dash flew off into the sunset.

"Welcome, all, welcome! I am joined here in this fabulous studio by my guests. A great greetings to fashion designer Hoity Toity."

He tipped his fancy feather hat to the audience.

"Also, pop star Sapphire Shores."

She did a cute little wave.

"And last, but certainly not least, let's give a big, royal welcome to Princess Mi Amore Cadenza!"

The crowd roared.

"Just call me Cadence, thanks."

"Okay, girls! And boy. It's time for a little game I like to call 'Who Wears it Better'. We each pick a dress worn by two different celebrities, and whoever wears it better wins. Alright, here we go! Here, we see movie actress Peaceful Field showing off her marvelous thighs. And here, we see singer Sugar Withers wearing the same dress. So, who do you think wore it better?"

"Peaceful Field, for sure," Hoity Toity commented. "Her figure is far more suiting for this kind of dress."

"I'd have to say…Sugar Withers," Sapphire Shores decided. "Because she's very proud and prominent in that garment. The only flaw? Not enough gems."

"Um…I like…both?"

"Now, now, Cadence, you have to pick one."

"They are both very beautiful women, so there's no way I can decide."

"Hmm…Okay, I'll put Princess Cadence as neutral. But I'd have to say…Peaceful Field. She is very gorgeous, and that dress? Like a puzzle piece that fits perfectly. Unfortunately, now it's time for..."

A foghorn blows somewhere in the background.

"Fashion disasters. This week, we've got Breeze Twister in that…thing."

"Oh, my goodness gracious, my eyes!" Hoity Toity exclaimed.

"Hmm…Still not enough gems."

"Well, I think…I think…Bahahahahahahahahhah! I'm sorry, that is just too bad…But I know she can do better."

"So true. I could tailor better than whoever made that for a much cheaper price. But it's not just the dress. It's the way she wears it."

"Horrible."

"Not enough gems."

"The academy must have taught her better."

Breeze Twister ended up suing the show for $1 million for hurting her feelings, an actual crime in Equestria. She won the case, plus Rarity had to cancel the show.

Sweetie Belle: AW, COME ON!