When Chaos Stirs, A Tale of Two Worlds
Chapter 58: BONUS: Christmas Gift
Previous ChapterHey guys.
So, the last chapter is the official end of When Chaos Stirs, a Tale of Two Worlds. It's been an enlightening, but tough ride and… To be honest, I'm glad I was able to finally settle it.
Before I leave; I'm going to announce that even though this fanfiction is finished, I'm going to use the next chapters as updates for the rewrite of the story simply titled When Chaos Stirs (without the 'a Tale of Two Worlds part', Kinda long winded to be honest). Now, it's going to be a LONG time before I come around to it, or even if I do at all, but if I do… Expect great things. It's going to be posted on FIMfiction (I would put it here, but for technical reasons, I need the resources the website offers to pull the story off). I'll post future chapters here to let everyone know if I'm starting, its progress, and hopefully; when it'll be posted. I'll be doing a rewrite to not only entertain and grow as a writer, but there's a little technique I wish to experiment with before I use it in the publishing world.
Now, there was another thing… Oh yes, everyone's Christmas gift!
There was another fanfiction I abandoned called Crossing Stupid. Sadly, I haven't been able to get around to it. It's just a mess of skits to make people laugh. I usually write it when I get stuck writing, bored, or just want to have a laugh myself when down in the muck. I had a bunch of ideas I was going to put on there, but instead; I'm going to take the best of them and put it all on this chapter. :)
Hope you enjoy. Don't expect the Sonic and MLP characters to be too accurate, and some of the skits may not even be related to the MLP/Sonic world. Also, I'm not scared to crack some racial and religious jokes, so I don't want to see any comments about being 'offended'. Not putting up with SJWs, Blacklivesmatter, LGBTs, Catholics, Baptists, Satanists, Methodist, Atheists, Feminists, Muslims, or whatever else flipping out. This is not a safe space for anyone.
Now, I was going to leave a list of terms and conditions here, but I believe the statement at the top says enough. If you're a kind of person that's sensitive to insensitive jokes, you best turn away now and spare yourself the trouble. For the rest of us, let's pick up a pair of balls and get rolling!
Skits are separated by emo-cons, with a line on top and bottom of it. A single line means a scene break in the same skit
Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Amy were all on an open field together lying on the grass. They were staring at the slowly shifting clouds as time ticked by.
"Whatdoya'll wanna do?" Knuckles yawned.
"I don't know," Tails answered with a shrug, "Ain't nothing to do in Ponyville."
The two and Sonic were about to doze off for a nap until they heard scribbling. They lazily turned their heads and saw Amy writing something down on her notebook.
"You writing fanfiction again?" Sonic asked.
"Yea," She answered, "I heard there was another Frozen movie coming out; thought I might tackle that for a bit," She pulled out several sheets of paper, "I have a rough draft of a story written, it's about a four way relationship between Hans, Kristoff, Sven, and Olaf."
The three rolled their eyes and continued to stare at the clouds.
"There was a secrete love affair between Hans and Sven, but Sven cheated on Hans with Olaf. Hans tries to win him over while keeping the affair secrete from Kristoff. Unfortunately; Sven dies from hypothermia. Hans turns emo by painting his hair and nails black, and desired to express his anguish. He goes from house to house at night to nail dark poetry on their doors to express his sorrow," She pulled a small piece of paper out, "I have one of the poems written, I want to know what yawl think."
The three gave her a half-hearted wave before she read the poem out loud.
"That reindeer, oh how much I love you so.
You struck my heart with a soft blow."
"We skipped through the fields, we skipped through the grass.
I always feared our forbidden love wouldn't last."
"That reindeer, the one who broke my heart.
A naughty snowman decided to make us part."
"I cried during the day, I cried during the night.
How much I miss being your delight."
"That reindeer, I never thought I would stoop so low.
When my lover got his d*** stuck in snow."
The three yawned as Tails turned to his side with a grunt.
"That's why I'm never dating a fan girl."
:p
Princess Celestia was watching over Canterlot during a beautiful sunny day. She was sitting on a soft, fluffy pillow on the balcony, sipping her cup of tea while a gentle breeze of cool air brushed her colorful mane. She was far from relaxing, though. Her eyes were slit with diligence, carefully observing every street and house with careful eyes. Her ears perked when she heard the door open behind her.
"Did you summon me, Princess Celestia?" Shining Armor asked as he trotted in.
She didn't turn her head to greet the captain, but kept her eyes on the city, "I'm glad you're hear, my royal subject. I want you to have your stallions on high alert; double the guards of every gate around this capital and on the streets."
The captain was caught off guard from her request, "Might I ask what's going on, your majesty?"
"There's a threat looming over our kingdom," She answered with a grave tone, "Something more malevolent and evil than anything we've ever faced. They're sneakier than changelings, greedier than dragons, and more sinister than anything Discord can ever conjure. They plot every day to destroy civilizations for their own gains, make slaves of anyone who's unfortunate enough to get in their way. They slither into society completely undetected, and when we least expect it… wham."
Shining Armor felt sweat drip from his forehead when he heard these things, "w-what is this threat?"
Princess Celestia slowly and dramatically turned her head to stare at the stallion with blood shot eyes.
"… The Jews."
The Captain went from intimidated to confuse with those two words, "The Jews?"
"Yes, captain. THE JEWS!" She rose from her pillow and trot towards him, "They're behind it all! They're the ones who turned Luna into Nightmare moon, and they're the ones who freed Discord!" She now stood over him, "You remember the time where you thought you slept with Princess Cadence before the wedding, and it turned out to be Chrysalis? That wasn't really Chrysalis at all; it was a happy merchant in disguise."
"You mean I slept with a Jew boy!?"
"Yes!"
The Captain was breathing heavy in panic, "Oh God, who's not to say that the Cadence I know now is a Jew!?"
"EXACTLY!" Celestia rest her hooves on his shoulder, "Go! Gather the guards! Post them on every block you can! We must stop them before it's too late!"
The captain turned tails and galloped out of there as fast as he could, tripping over once before he made it out the door. He galloped through the halls screaming as loud as he could.
:p
"Calm down, Twilight!" Sonic pleaded as steam continued to pour from her ears, "It's just a joke, it's just a stupid joke."
"You don't tell me to calm down!" Twilight shouted as she continued to march towards him, "I'm completely offended by what you said! I am not a house wife! I don't do everything he tells me to do. You and the rest of your friends know better. Don't you know your words can hurt people?"
"As if he's responsible for your feelings," Knuckles sighed.
The unicorn's ears instantly perked as she did a one eighty to face him. She levitated a book from the shelves that were wrecked from her rage, and she marched towards him as he tripped back from fear and shoved his hands in front of his face.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say that!"
Knuckles found his back bracing against the wall as Twilight continued to inch closer with her book getting ready to strike.
"Wait, Twilight," Knuckles pleaded, "Just think for a second. What would Jesus do?"
Knuckles closed his eyes and braced himself for the worst… But nothing came. When he opened his eyes, he found Twilight frozen stiff with her eyes glazing forwards lifelessly. Suddenly, with her frown replaced with a straight face; she simply turned around, walked towards the door, and exit without a single word.
"Boy it's a nice day here at the Crystal Temple," A guard said as he watched ponies stroll by as they shop near stalls to buy soveineers and gifts, "Look at all those ponies happily walking bye, I don't think I've seen happier ponies in my life."
"And to think they would take this new tax collecting day pretty well," His fellow guard chuckled.
"It was also a great idea to let those foreign merchants sell those fancy pets around here. This is the first time I've seen a live Manitor caged-"
"GRRRAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
They jumped when they heard a lavender unicorn screaming from the top of her lungs flipping over tables. The guards rushed in when she summoned a whip and began to thrash it around violently.
:p
"Evrypony gather round!" Applejack squealed as she sat in front of an T.V. station, "It's bout' to come on."
Applejack quickly galloped from the kitchen and threw herself on a couch while Macintosh slowly trot in while rolling his eyes. Granny Smith was in her chair half asleep, like always.
"Yawl shouldn't be watchin' this garbage," The stallion said, "It's just a waste of time-"
"Sh!" Applejack and Applebloom ushered, "It's starting."
With a push of a button, the screen came alive as a deep, masculine voice softly spoke through the speakers.
Previously on Hillbilly Harlem.
"Imma tell you wut, cuz," Billy Bob dreamly said, "I'd never seen sucha good lookin' girl in mah life. I'mma go marry her."
"… You've only seen her once, Billy Bob" A cowboy told him, "And she was drunk-"
"Ya don't understand muh love!"
"Yer da prettiest girl I've seen in muh life," Billy Bob said to her with bed room eyes; wearing his best attire, which was a dirty checkered polo shirt and blue jeans with so many holes that half of his underwear was exposed, "I've been thinkin' bout this fer a few days now," He pulled out a small box containing a ring bought at a pawn shop, "Wouldya marry me?"
Sitting across from him was a half-dressed woman with her teeth blackened. Her exposed breasts sagged to her stomach while her belly poked out of her tight, red dress. She was holding chewing tobacco on one hand with a bottle of bear on the other. One of her eyes lazily drifted away.
"Wut?"
"How couldya do dis ta me!" Billy Bob shouted with tears in his eyes, as he and his wife stood in an rundown trailer that was ready to collapse, "Ah doughtya love me!"
"Ah do, sugar!" The woman pleaded with a deep, deep voice, "It's more complicated dan dat."
"Why digcha havta go and cheat on me?" He wailed.
"Billy," She choked, with tears dripping down her cheeks; smearing her makeup, "There's something you should know."
"What?"
"Ah went to dat Ancestor site on the enternat, and ah found out dat… Dat" She began crying, "Dat yer ma cuzin!"
"NAAAAAAAWWWWWW!"
"Ah don't care wut you are," Billy Bob determinedly said to her as they lay together in the back of his 4X4 pickup truck, "Ah luv you."
"Oh, Billy!" The woman compassionaly called, "Ya know our luv can never be. Dis just ain't right."
"Don't listen to ya head, darlin'," He spoke, "Listen to ya heart. Ya know dis is destiny. Ya da only one in dis side of the state that can make me happy!"
She felt tears in her eyes, "You know we can never afford children. Them Mexicans tuk our jobs."
"We can have as many babies as we like, honey," He ensured, "dem government programs are gonna help us."
"Oh, Billy! Billy!" She cried, "Make love to me!"
"Billy Bob," A country doctor gravely spoke, "We've just got done running the tests… The baby isn't yours."
"Wut?" Billy asked, with his pregnant wife laying on a couch below him.
"Baby," She called, "remember dat time when I told you that ah cheated on you."
"Yea,"
"It's his baby, darlin'. Ah thunk it wuz yours until that there doctor chook me out."
"… We're gunna work this out," Billy spoke with compassion, "We're gonna raise that baby right-"
"SWEETIE PIE!"
Billy Bob jumped as a man wearing an worn out T-shirt and a cap burst through the door with a face of pure horror.
"You!" Billy called, "Yer da one that tried to take my woman."
"Sweetie Pie!" He called, completely ignoring Billy, "There's something you should know. I went to dat Ancestry website and," He choked, "You're not my cuzin… You're my sister!"
"NNAAAAAWWWWWWW!"
"NAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW!"
:p
Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and the six elements of harmony were traveling on a dirt road leading to the Everfree Forest. There was a missing stallion reported just hours ago, and the mayor asked them if they could find him. He was last seen near the Everfree Forest, and they fear the worst.
"Okay, lets recap," Twilight said to her friends, "The stallion's name is Iron Wing. He was last seen near here just a half an hour ago, so he couldn't be too far from here. He's 4'11, about the same height and age as us, he was wearing horseshoes, so keep a sharp eye on the ground for any tracks. He has black fur, so keep a special eye out since it'll be dark within the woods-"
"We know," Amy deadpanned. "You stated this, like… Not an hour ago."
Twilight became defensive, "Hey, I was just making sure everyone understood. This is a very dire situation-"
"We know." Everyone ushered, excluding Fluttershy.
The unicorn just huffed and moved on. After a couple of minutes traveling, Rarity suddenly found hoof prints scattered beneath them.
"hoofprints!" She called, "They look fresh too; he can't be too far."
The group began to look around, but noticed that the trail was overlapping each other, making impossible to follow.
"Looked like he panicked," Knuckles said.
Twilight trot to the front of the group, "Okay, we know that he's not far from her-"
"I stated that before." Rarity called.
"Whatever!" Twilight shouted in anger, "It's obvious that we have to split up and look for him."
"No, that's a bad idea," Sonic stated, "We can get lost in these woods. We need to stick together and search the nearby area in a group."
"It's about to get dark," She protested, "It'll be impossible for us to find him in the dark-"
"Wait, guys," Tails called to the two, "I know exactly what to do."
The two turned to him, "You do?" Twilight asked.
"Oh, yea," Tails ensured him, "I need everyone to stick behind me, and don't make any sudden movements."
Everyone was curious of what he was about to do, so they went ahead and piled behind him.
"Okay," Tails continued with a softer voice, "Now I need everyone to be very quiet, and just follow behind me. I'm going to lure him out here."
"Lure him?" Rainbow whispered.
"Yea," Tails answered, "Just trust me on this."
With shrugged shoulders, they remained quiet to let him work. Tails crouched, and began to stealthily walk forwards. He did this for a couple of feet until he suddenly pulled out a fried chicken leg, and began to subtly wave it in front of him.
"Heeeeer, niggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggernigger… Heeeeeeer, niggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggerniggernigg-"
"Tails!" Twilight suddenly shouted in anger, making him jump, "What are you doing!?"
He turned around, "You said he was black, did you?"
"Yea, but-"
"Well, this is what they like," Tails stated as if it was obvious.
"That's stereotyping," Twilight growled.
"That is a fact," Tails retorted, "Tell me this, when you walk inside a KFC restaurant, what people do you usually see?"
"…Niggers," Rainbow chuckled.
"Don't say that word," Twilight shouted at her, "That's a very, very bad word. It's racist."
"Niggers call each other niggers niggers, too; Twilight," Tails said, "Only college students, politicians, and complete pussies that's never been in a hood before say it's racist. Are you a pussy?"
"No!" Twilight defensively answered, "This-this isn't even relevant. He has black fur, he's not-"
They suddenly heard ruffling, making everyone freeze and quickly check their surroundings. When they heard it again, they found a bush ruffling. When Tails waved the chicken wing, the bush ruffled again. Tails approached it, and carefully laid the chicken leg on the ground before backing off. A minute passed, and a cautious, young pegasus eased out of the bush and sat in front of the chicken. He nibbled on the chicken for a second before devouring it.
"…Now what did I tell ya?" Tails asked Twilight with a grin.
When the chicken stripped to the bone, the pegasus looked around and locked his eyes on Twilight.
"Oh hi," The unicorn awkwardly greeted, "We were just looking for you."
The pegasus completely ignored her and began to trot around her. Twilight suddenly found him staring at her rear with eyes that bulged into saucers. She tried to turn around to face him, but he was quick to follow it.
"Hey, stop that!" She demanded with flushing cheeks.
"Oh, Twilight," Tails called, "Can you lead the pack and let him follow you so we can keep an eye on him? They also like bubble butts."
"Wha-"
"Just shake it a bit to keep him interested."
:p
It was a peaceful morning outside of Ponyville; the streets were crowded as townspeople carry on their daily lives. There was a fieldtrip for Ms. Cheerily going on that morning to explore Ponyville's memorials; learning about its rich history. The teacher decided to let her students take a break.
Button Mash was sitting near a table with his Generic Handheld Game Device™ with Sweetie Bell sitting by him with a serving of ice cream beside the table. He was on the third stage in his game facing a tough boss, unfortunately; the boss got to the best of him and killed his player. With a game over screen flashing before him, he huffed and turned his device off. He spent nearly two hours getting to that boss, and he didn't want to spend another two hours getting to him again.
Now bored and defeated, he decided to spark a conversation with a longtime friend of his. When he looked to her side, he saw that she was reading some kind of comic.
"Watcha reading?" He asked.
Sweetie Bell flipped a couple of more pages before marking her place and putting it down, "A manga."
The word confused him, "A manga? What's a manga?"
"A manga is a comic made from Japan," She explained, "Like how some of your games come from Japan."
He glanced at the little book she was reading and picked it up, "Can I take a look?"
She shrugged her shoulders and began to dine on her ice cream, "Sure, whatever. That's the first in the series, by the way. It doesn't read like a normal book; it reads from right to left. There's a page on there that explains it."
With curiosity at its peak, he flipped the book open and began reading.
One week later
Button Mash was in a secluded spot in a comic book store located in Canterlot. He had a fresh manga book in his hooves with tears upon tears dripping down his cheeks as the story and characters continued to pull on his heart strings. Each page was like a claw tearing away his insides; the only thing that's preventing him from crying out loud is his quivering lips that are struggling to keep close. He flipped to the final pages of the book.
"Why do you continue to deny my love, Riki-kun?" A young, short, Japanese girl with breasts as big as soccer balls asked with glimmering tears in her eyes, "What more do I have to do to earn your affection?
"I know how much you desire my love, Kima," a slighter older boy softly said to her, with his long, gracious hair flowing carelessly behind him while wearing clothes that came straight from Hot Topic, "But as much I wish to hold you into my arms and make passionate love like we always do; destiny decided that we should never be lovers."
"Why?" Kima cried in anger, "What does destiny has to do with us? I love you, Riki-kun. There's no destiny to tell us what we can feel. Destiny didn't tell me that we shouldn't be together, my heart did. Why can't you listen to your heart?"
Riki cast his head down to hid his eyes from her. He suddenly fell to his knees with tears visibly dripping to the floor. She suddenly rushed towards him and embraced him with her boobs covering his face.
"What's keeping you from our love?" She wailed, "What's keeping you from being happy?"
"Fmmmmmmhmmmmmmm. Fmmhmmhmmmmmmmfmmmmmmm-"
"You're not making any sense, Riki-kun," She said.
He used his hands to push her away a bit. He stared at her dead in the eyes with tears streaming down his face like a faucet, "I-I-I…I…I-"
"What is it?"
"I went to that ancestry website," He explained, trying to fight back the tears, "You're my sister!"
Her limbs, tears, and froze as she staggered back before falling backwards on the floor. She stare at the sky with shock and trauma before letting out a yell of anguish that could be heard for miles.
"NNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"
Button Mash dropped the booklet as he lie down on the floor. He rolled over to his side to try not to cry… Then he cried a lot. He cried for a good while; a couple of wandering ponies curiously looked his way to see a crying little kid curled into a ball in the manga isle. With better things to do than to tend to him, they moved on.
When he finally calmed down, he slowly stood to his four legs. He carefully picked the manga up and held it to his chest, looking to the ceiling as if the answer of life itself has been revealed to him.
"Are you telling me they make freakin cartoons out of manga," Button Mash pressed as Sweetie Bell cautiously back off.
"Uh, yea; it's called Anime," She answered, "Cartoon Network airs them Saturday night if you want to catch them-"
"But my momma makes me go to bed during nights," Button Mash aguishly stated, "Oh, the misery! The best thing ever is going to be out of my reach all because my mommy makes me go to bed."
"…There's always the internet, dude."
Button Mash eagerly fired up the computer in his room and quickly googled 'watch anime shows'. It wasn't for long until a whole list of websites came up showing links to various sources. He quickly clicked one and was awed by its massive collection of anime shows it possessed. He quickly scanned the choices he had, and decided on High School DXD. He was in the mood for something action packed, or at least that was what the show promised.
Not two minutes into the show and his tongue was lying on the floor with his eyes glued to the screen. He never knew there were cartoons that were made like this.
"So… Hot…"
He quickly looked back to make sure his mother wasn't peeking in, and when he was sure it was safe, he watched the first episode and a couple of episodes after that. He decided to take a break from the show, and with his 'boy' instinct kicking in, he quickly looked back to make sure it was clear and googled 'anime porn' faster than he ever typed. Sure enough, several results popped up. He clicked on the very first thing he saw without even reading.
The next thing he knew he was looking at a girl being chased by a giant octopus. She ran for a bit before being caught.
"Whoa, okay. It's taking her clothes off and-OH MY GOD!"
He hit the floor and covered his head with his hooves in complete trauma while the video continued to play.
"W-what the heck was that?" He gasped, "People actually watch that? That's the most horrific thing I've ever saw. An octopus. An octopus!?"
For several minutes he lay on the floor covering his head. He peeked once during that time, and quickly covered his face again in complete disgust. After a second, he took another peek and covered his face, and another peek… And another peek.
Before the scene was over, he stood up and sat back down to watch the rest of the video, "This is kinda cool."
Three Weeks Later
Sweetie Bell was waiting for Button Mash at the usual spot in Ponyville. Applejack was busy with the farm and Scootaloo was busy with… Whatever else. It wasn't like she was very close to him or anything of the sorts; he was next best thing to kill time other than finding her cutie mark. There were rumors going around saying that she was dating him, but she could only roll her eyes to that; he was too childish for her taste.
She suddenly found him galloping down the street wearing a big, wide smile. Before she knew it he was inches from her face.
"Sweetie Bell; Guess what?"
She backed off a couple of paces, "What?"
"I have a girlfriend!" He cheered.
She recoiled a bit in surprise, "Really?"
"Yea!" He bubbled.
Well, that was unexpected. She was surprised that any filly would want to date this colt. Least Rarity and her friends can get off her back about having a boyfriend now. She gave him a smile, "Well, congratulations. I'm happy for you."
"I have pictures if you want to see."
She sat down while Button Mash sat right beside her. He pulled out his cell phone and after a couple of clicks, went to the gallery. She was puzzled when she found drawings of some anime girl wielding a gun on his cell phone... A lotof them.
"Her name is Revy," He explained in a serious tone, "She's a pirate that's part of the Lagoon Company. She killed her abusive dad when she was little, and she's still traumatized to this day. She knows how to shoot guns better than anyone on the team. I always try to be a support, you know? It's been hard on her; the best thing I can do is be there."
Sweetie Bell blankly stared at him for several, long, awkward seconds in silence as her brain attempted to process what has been said to her. Suddenly, a roar of a thousand laughs boomed from her lips. She curled and fell to the floor helplessly as she giggled so loudly that pedestrians were looking over.
Button Mash slammed her ice cream to the floor and stomped away; leaving a still laughing Sweetie Bell behind.
Two months later
A lot happened during the two month time period. Button Mash has discovered many, wonderful things while exploring the mysterious subculture. Many shows were watched, RPGs were played, and friends were made online through role playing. The most significant event, however; was visiting a special event where colts, fillies, mares, and stallions just like himself can gather to socialize and ponder on the thing that have changed their lives forever.
"Kon'nichiwa!" Button Mash excitingly greeted a surprised Tifa cosplayer, "You're dress is super Kawaii!"
The mare backed a couple of paces when the colt was a tad too close for comfort, but to see a child admire her clothes was admirable, so she happily complied, "Oh, thank you-"
"You know my favorite character from Final Fantasy was Tifa," He swooned, "She's so hot. I'll let her kick my butt any day."
"Oh, that's cool," She commented, getting a little uncomfortable when he was checking out her flanks more often than necessary, "I need to get going. Be a good boy, okay?"
She trotted off, but was immediately followed by the young fan boy. Of course, he continued to stare at her flanks.
"I love Japan," He proudly proclaimed, "everything from Japan is so wonderful; it's like the best country ever! Everything else sucks; this kingdom can't hold a candle to Japan."
She rolled her eyes.
"This may be sudden, but," He said while blushing, "I think I'm in love with you."
She rolled her eyes harder.
"I love Japanese women. I know Japanese; it's in my blood. I have like 1/10 japanese running through my veins, along with some ninja and samuri. You're hair smells Sayaona."
The mare suppressed a chuckle.
"You wanna come over to my house and bukakke?"
She suddenly froze with her fur standing on end.
"I can teach you how to bukakke," He continued, "I'm good at bukakke. My mom and I do bukakke together sometimes-"
"Security!"
"Does that mare know that bukakke means playing video games," He scroffed as a security guard led him to another section of the con, "She's not even Japanese… She's Korean. So lame."
"Okay kid, just stay 50 hooves away from her and you can stay," the guard said, "I hate to use a taser on a minor."
The guard went on his way as Button Mash continued to explore the wonderful place. The event did miff him, but far from discouraged. He spent the next thirty minutes exploring different booths, meeting artists and fans alike. Until-
"What… Is that?"
He lay eyes on one of the most awesome thing he's come across in his life. Hanging on a special stool was a giant, fluffy pillow; more than twice his size. On it was the love of his life; Revy. She was holding two pistols while lying on a bed with her blue jeans and half ripped shirt sliding off.
"It's a dakimakura," The sells pony informed, "It also has a back."
Button Mash's mouth dropped when the other side of the pillow revealed a completely naked Revy laying submissively on her back; with her arms and legs sprawled out. The filly pulled out his wallet and threw in his savings.
"Take my bits; take all of it!"
That night
Button Mash was in his room looming over the bed with his beloved waifu laying before him, staring at the lifeless art with bedroom eyes. His computer was playing slow jazz music from XM radio with the lights in the room dimmed. There was a bathroom candle placed on a stool next to the bed, illuminating a soft glow on the pillow's peach skin.
"I know it was tough getting passed my mom unseen, but it's just you and me, baby," He lowly whispered as he climbed on the bed, "Let's make this night magical."
Without a second to waist, he wrapped his arms and hooves around his waifu and locked lips with the fabric; kissing from the top of the girl's head all the way to the feet. For several minutes he does this while moaning through his lips.
"Let's heat things up," He said with a grin.
He got off for a second and flipped the pillow over to reveal Revy in her full naked glory. With a lustful stare, he plops right back on the pillow and slowly began to place his lips on the fabric again, until he frozen stiff when he heard the door swing open.
He looked to see a shocked mother standing at the door with eyes as wide as saucers as her son and pillow were in full view. For a solid minute, she didn't move a muscle. The colt felt guilt and shame sweep over him like a title wave as he blankly stared back at her. Suddenly, her blank expression slowly turned into an understanding smile.
She approached her son as he hopped off the pillow shamefully. She approached the bed, and while looking into the eyes of her offspring... Lay a strip of condoms on his dresser.
She turned around, trotting towards the door and gave him one advice before leaving.
"Keep it safe, sweetie."
:p
"Okay, this is just like we rehearsed," Bon-Bon told Lyra as they approached a rock shop near Pinkie's childhood home, "Follow my lead."
The blue mare nod with a grin as the two entered through the door. They were greeted by a grey stallion with a stonic face that has a permanent frown.
"Welcome to our rock shop," He greeted with a deep voice, "What can I interest you two with?"
The two mares glanced at each other for a second before turning to the stallion with smiles, "Ah, yes. We were wondering if you could make us engagement necklaces for the two of us."
The stallion cocked an eyebrow in confusion.
"We're getting married," Lyra added.
The stallion looked at the two in sympathy for a while before taking in a deep breath, "We follow tradition around these parts. We don't believe in serving gay couples."
Bon-bon act shocked, "W-what?"
"I'm sorry, miss," The stallion said softly, "I can't take your order."
While hiding grins underneath their frowns, Lyra began to choke, "But-but-but I've been looking forward to this wedding since forever."
"You'll have to find service somewhere else, I'm afraid,"
On que, Lyra began breathing heavily,"I-I-I-I'm so hurt."
Bon-Bon quickly joined, "Oh, I feel such a headache from this injustice."
"Oooooohoooo," Lyra whined as she slowly lay on the floor, "I feel such congestion in my stomach from the amount of sadness I feel."
"I never experienced such depression in my life," Bon-Bon wailed as she dramatically collapse on the floor, "I-I-I don't think I can eat again."
"I think I'm gaining weight," Lyra cried as he sat up and put a hoof on her stomach, "Look! I'm so sad that I began to eat obsessively."
Bon-Bon pull out a pack of cigarettes, "I use to be a strong, independent mare that quit smoking years ago, but now after this horrible incident," She lit the cigarette, "I have to smoke to deal with my emotional trauma!"
They both crawled to each other and hugged; Lyra continued to cry crocodile tears, "I never felt my confidence stoop so low! How could ponies do these things?"
"We're all equal, by Celestia!" Bon-Bon shouted in anguish, "We're all equal!"
The stallion looked to the two in complete confusion, "You know, there's another shop down the street that can-"
The store's door suddenly burst open, revealing two Canterlot guards rushing in and pointing their spears at the surprised stallion. It only took him two seconds to realize what was going on, and the smug look on the mare's faces when the guards rushed over confirmed his suspicions.
"Oh… Oh you sick bastards."
The guards suddenly leapt over and tackled the stallion; pinning him down with their magic. They turned to the mares.
"Would you two like to press charges?"
The mares whipped their grins just in time to replace it with pouting and trembling lips.
"Y-yes," Bon-bon answered, "Just… Give us a moment alone, please."
Two weeks later
Lyra and Bon-Bon were on a private boat far away from Equestria's land. Their boat was parked somewhere in the ocean, and the two could be found on lounge chairs; drinking margaritas.
"135,000 bits doesn't sound too bad for a honey moon, eh?" Bon-bon said with a relaxing smile, "Poor fella had to pay us from his personal account to pay us after the lawsuit; lost his business along with it."
"It's great being a victim," Lyra remarked, "Maybe we should try suing a church for not holding us a ceremony next time."
"Sounds like a good investment," Bon-bon chuckled while holding her glass towards her, "Is that a plan?"
"It's a plan," Lyra agreed, tipping her glass with a ping.
:p
Rarity was in her boutique; doing business as usual when she suddenly decided to take a break. She trot to her laptop to full around on the internet for a little bit. She googled some quick, funny memes to help pass the time until her door suddenly burst open with a slam. She turned around and was suddenly tackled. Rarity managed to kick the stranger off until she was suddenly held. The figure was trembling with fear.
"Listen," she gasped, "You gotta hide me, you gotta hide me-"
"I beg you're pardon!" Rarity scoled, pushing the thing off, "Who are you?"
Rarity finally got a good look at the… Thing, standing before her. She looked like a human size bunny standing on two legs; her coat was mixed with chocolate and white, and her curves did not hide the fact that she was female.
"I'm Lola, canyouhidemenow!?"
"What's going on?" She demanded.
"I'm being chased by these perverts," She answered, "They hide and draw dirty pictures of me and sending them on the internet for the whole world to see. I've been trying to get away from them for hours; and they're still updating their profiles with their filth!"
Rarity only looked to her in confusion. She quickly zipped to the computer and googled the topic. When the results came up; she was shocked to see thousands upon thousands of very lewd pictures of the bunny.
"Th…That's awful!" Rarity said. She decided to click on one of their profiles to investigate further, "Another drawing of you has just been updated."
"Oh God, they found me!"
She lashed her head to a nearby window and saw an overweight man with foggy glasses staring right at her with a wide smile while drool slid from his lips. There was a special strap around his belly that held a laptop in front of him; There was a sketch pad on one hand and a pencil with another.
"Get away from me!" She pleaded, "Get away!"
Rarity was about to march out there and give him a piece of her mind until she noticed dozens of these people standing behind him; drawing away.
"We're getting out of here," The unicorn declared, "Grab onto me and I'll teleport us out!"
Rarity decided at the very last second to teleport to Fluttershy's cottage, since her house was way out of the way of town and kind of secluded. The two reappeared on the road leading to her house, just several feet away. They made a mad dash for the door; and yanked the thing open while Lola jumped inside. Rarity briefly checked behind her to make sure she wasn't followed, and jumped in with her while slamming the door shut.
They were suddenly greeted by an infestation of strange, frighten creatures with Fluttershy zipping from one from the other in a panic, trying to calm them down.
"Pika! Pikapikapika!" A frighten, mouse like creature frantically called while pointing at the door; backing away from it.
"It-it-it's okay," Fluttershy softly called to him, sealing the window with the curtains, "They won't get you."
"What's going on here?" Rarity asked, just as confused as the bunny.
Fluttershy suddenly noticed their presence, but was too busy trying to calm down the startled creatures to give them her full attention, "Oh, these poor, scared creatures just barged into my home. I couldn't just keep them out."
A blue, bipedal, dog like thing stood up to inform the two. His slit, red eyes made Rarity feel uneasy, "There were some… Horrible people chasing us. They were drawing porn about us and posting them online. I tried to hold them back, but," He sighed, "There were just too many. I take one out, and there were three more that took his place. They just kept coming."
"Wait, they don't draw porn just for bipedal?" Lola asked.
"Apparently not," He said, "There was no way that any of us put together can hold back their lust. Even the best of us were succumbed to their evil ways," He stepped to the side and pointed to a giant grey creature hunch over in a corner, "Even Giratina could not hold them back."
The renegade Pokemon was rocking back and forth in place with black wings covering its head. Fluttershy quietly flew over to it and put a comforting hoof on the creature's back.
"There, there," She cooed, "We're going to be right here by your side. It's okay to be a little scared."
The thing suddenly roared in anguish before falling to its side; crying helplessly. Lucario could only shake his head, "One of those freaks did a badly drawn picture of Giratina being dominated by Diagla and Palkia."
Fluttershy comforted the ghost like creature for a couple of more minutes before finally turning her attention to Rarity, "The poor thing. I don't think its ego will ever be able to recover after what those horrible people did to it."
"W-what are we going to do now?" Lola asked in a panic, "We can't just hide here forever. They'll find us eventuall-"
She was cut short when the door behind her suddenly slammed opened. She immediately screamed and covered herself as the best she could with her hands.
"Everyone stay calm," Sonic shouted, with Tails, Amy, Knuckles, Shadow, and the remainder of the elements of harmony following behind, "We found them heading this way; we only have a short amount of time before they get over here."
"Oh, thank Celestia you guys came!" Rarity wailed, galloping over and hugging the nearest pony within grasp; which happened to be Rainbow Dash.
"What are those things?" Lucario demanded.
Sonic and his friends suddenly became quiet and subtle, "We've been fighting them for decades. They reared their ugly heads when the internet was created."
"They are low lives with only one objective in mind," Tails added, "Do porn of everything… everything."
"Animals, people, characters, robots, objects," Amy listed from her head, "If it exist, they go out of their way to make porn of it."
"And a lot of them get turned on by what they're drawing too," Knuckles said, "A lot of people may refer to them as perverts, but our team decided to give these guys a proper name… We call them,"
"The wankers," Sonic finished.
Lucario only cocked his eyebrow. Shadow stepped up to explain to him.
"Just teenagers on the internet… You know; puberty and stuff-"
"Oh yea," The pokemon agreed, "I have a trainer that's going through that phase."
Everyone stepped away from the door as Applejack closed it. Sonic stepped in front of the whole pack, addressing them.
"I have an idea that might be able to get us all out of here," He shouted, "We're going to take all of the biggest and baddest guys in here and put them up front, while the rest of us follow-"
He was suddenly interrupted when a loud smash erupted throughout the entire room. Sonic and everyone else looked to find Giratina flying out the back as fast as he could with a loud, panicking shriek.
"Thanks for nothing!" Lucario shouted in anger.
Sonic froze for a second before continuing, "Uh… We just barrel through them and pray to Chaos that we make it."
Several hours later
"For the last time," A small boy with a goggle on his head addressed the massive crowd; there was a red headed girl and another boy behind him, "We can't help you. There's no way I'm letting all of you into the Digimon world."
"Common, that's the only world big enough for us to hide," Sonic pleaded, with his friends, the elements of harmony, and over 700 Pokémon trailing behind him, "We've been running for hours trying to lose them."
"You guys aren't the only ones with a problem," The girl snapped.
"Oh? You guys have a problem?" Lucario shouted, "I had several wankers draw me as a macho figure sleeping with Misty. I had a couple that changed my gender and put bouncing tits on me!"
"Oh, get real!" Rika shouted back, "Renamon has is worse than anyone. I don't think those sickos hasn't drawn a single position she wasn't in yet. Our show ended like, several years ago, and they're still drawing porn of her!"
The said Digimon was by her side and could only nod to her statement with a slight blush, "It's… It's true."
Sonic continued the argument, "They're going to come after yawl too; we gotta get over there!"
"You lead a whole army of them over here," Takato shouted, "Why should we help you, huh?"
The hedgehog got into a battle stance, "Listen; we're getting in there whether you agree or not."
"Oh, don't tell me you're threatening us." Rika snorted.
"We have 700 pokemon behind us that can mow you guys down, with some of them legendries."
"We have megas!" Takato deadpanned, "We have megas that combine with other megas to form into more awesome megas; not half of your pokemon back there can evolve three times. You're in no position to challenge us."
"Moumantai everyone!" Terriermon shouted, "Moumantai! There's no need to fight; we can work something…out."
They suddenly heard a thunderous crowd approaching them from down the road. They looked beyond the horizon and found a monstrous swarm of young men rushing towards them with their laptops and drawing pads ready. There was underwear flying above them.
"Okay, we need to leave," Rika said, "Renamon, lead us to the hideout you've-"
She looked behind her and found her nowhere, as if she vanished.
"Renamon!" She shouted in anger, pulling out her digivice, "Don't you dare leave us."
"No time!" Henry shouted, "We need to go!"
Two hours later
Takato, Sonic, Twilight, Lucario, and more pokemon than any hand can count were all cramped together inside an abandoned gym. Henry had an Ipad in his lap while connected to the internet; and since their escape wasn't exactly the most well executed, due to Rika forgetting exactly where the building was; the boy decided to see the extent of the damage. The look on his face of total shock could pretty much summarize how well they escaped.
"I was the first to sprint out of there and they managed to draw me mounting knuckles," Sonic sighed, "Looks like Shadow didn't escape unscaved either."
"They are obsessed of shipping us together, eh Sonic?" Shadow asked.
"I don't get it either, man."
Terriermon looked onto the Ipad with his trainer and screamed in horror when a picture of him came up, "Sweet mercy! What exactly am I doing to that digimon egg?"
Rika looked on and wasn't surprised that there were hundreds of drawings of her that were recently posted, "Seriously, do these guys have any morals? The only thing I had to worry about is drawings of me and some boy together during our days… This is just… Just… Absolutely disgusting!"
"Moumantai you sickos," Terriermon said to no one. The digimon turned to Renamon and sneered, "Thanks for abandoning us. If it wasn't for you, none of these pictures would have been on here."
She was leaning against the wall, with her head cast down as if she was in deep thought, "At least they didn't get me."
"About that," Henry objected
He raised his Ipad and flashed her the screen. Renamon immediately saw a couple of drawings of her that were recently posted. As soon as her eyes lay hold of over exaggerated boobies tacked on her chest, she slowly knelt to the floor, covered her head, And sobbed.
Takato was away from the group with Guilmon. The experience was worst for him. He was barbered with countless of uncomfortable questions by the innocent dinosaur ever since they settled down.
"Takatomon," The digimon softly called, "What was I doing to Rika in that picture?"
The trainer had his head covered by his ankles; too embarrassed to even show his face to anyone, "It's… Please, please stop asking questions."
"Why?" The digimon innocently pressed, "It looked like fun."
"It's not fun," The trainer immediately said, "Well, it is fun, but… It's not nice if you do it without permission. Please drop it; it's gross."
Guilmon simply tilt his head in confusion. He stayed silent for several minutes before asking the poor trainer another question.
"…Can we have fun?"
"NO!"
:p
Twilight was trotting through the aisles of Canterlot's library; shifting through book after book as she attempts to find something worthy of her knowledge. She eventually bumped into something in the human myth section, and yanked a thick, dusty book out of the shelves.
"The Holy Bible," She read on the front cover. She skimmed to the very front pages and she gasped, "Whoa, 66 books in one book? That's a keeper!"
After picking up the book and a handful of spell books, she skipped over to the desk to get ready to check out. The clerk was scanning the books until she came across the bible.
"I heard that there was an article about some explorer finding ancient scrolls relevant to that book," She said, "The scroll is older than anypony can date back."
"Really?" Twilight asked.
"Yea; you might say that it's an addition to it," She continued, "I have a copy if you want it."
"Yes, please!" The unicorn pleaded.
The clerk retreated to a spare room real quick and came back with a couple of loose leaf paper clipped together.
"That's it?" Twilight asked, unimpressed.
"That's it," She answered, "You still want it?"
She shrugged, "Eh, why not?"
She was back to her library in Ponyville, sitting on the sofa with the bible laid out before her. The three loose leaf paper stacked together was lying right beside it. She levitated the paper towards her, and read the title at the top.
"Pre-genesis, the uncanon bible chapter?" She asked, aware that Genesis was the first book of the bible, "Might as well get it out the way."
She began to read.
Pre-genesis, The Uncanon Bible
"Alright, alright," Michael called to a massive league of angels. They were sitting around a large table, large enough to hold countless of their kind, "God has deemed that mankind shall exist. The planet has just been made, and we're in charge of supervising the place," He pulled out a little list, and pointed to a random angel, "You there. I need you to take dirt from the ground and form the man's flesh."
"Huh?"
"Here's the blueprints," The arch-angel chunked a blue scroll at him. The angel in question only blankly looked at him in confusion.
"...God wants me to form man… Out of dirt-"
"You'll be fine," Michael waved at hand at him and pointed at another angel, "You. Remember that forbidden tree that was mentioned in the memo? I need you to go set that up."
"Is the tree supposed to be a bad thing?" The angel recalled.
"Yes," Michael answered.
"…Why build it?"
"Just… Because… It-it's part of God's plan, don't worry about it," Michael put the list back inside his pocket, "Okay, guardian angels are charged with guarding duty once man is made, and everyone else manages the weather and whatever goof ups might occur," He clapped his hands together, "Let's get busy."
"Okay, I just got through constructing the human," An angle said to Michael, "What do you think?"
The archangel took a good look at the creation. The human had hands attached to his legs, and six arms were on his side with noses attached to them. The man opened his mouth to reveal a nose breathing in and out, and between his eyes was a tongue flickering wildly.
"Uh…Close enough," He turned his attention back to the angles, "The man will now be referred to as Adam from now on," He pulled out the list again, "All we have to do now is make a companion for him. Now, according to the list, God wants us to take one of his ribs and make another human."
"What about the wolf?" An angel asked, "Him and that white wolf of his got along pretty well."
"Well, they were until Adam, got… Lonely," Michael explained lightly, "He did something to the dog that I'm going to say… Yea, the dog never wants to see him again."
"What about the cat?"
"Cats don't care," Michael said, getting annoyed, "Listen, he needs another guy that he can relate to, and what better way can he relate to if it's a part of his flesh and blood?"
"I guess that makes sense," An angel commented.
"Well; good. Now later, the two are going to be tempted to eat a fruit from the forbidden tree when a snake comes along and tempts them. I heard Lucifer mumble about it when he was locked up in his room one day, so this whole 'perfect world' business will be out the window when that happens. Just giving everyone a head's up."
He walked over to Adam and knocked him out with a stick, "Alright, let's get his rib."
"Man, those two are getting along extremely well," An angel commented as Adam and the unnamed man skipped through a flower field, "They're pretty much inseparable."
"Love is a beautiful thing," Michael said, "They work together, they laugh together, they cry together. This is going to be a prime definition of what love and friendship should be," He pulled out his list, "Okay, the snake incident is coming up shortly. I can cover the rest from here, so everyone else not on guardian or whether duty is free."
Michael suddenly found the newly created man approaching the forbidden tree with a snake walking by him.
"Well, speak of the devil."
Michael, being completely invisible the entire time, decided to make himself present. Adam has just ate the forbidden fruit with his partner, and Michael; according to the list, must enforce the law. He didn't even have to say anything, as soon as the two saw God's angel, they immediately panicked.
Adam pointed at his partner, "He tempted me! He made me do it!"
The other man pointed at the snake, "But-but the snake tempted me!"
Michael knelt down to address the snake, "Son, you must have missed the memo or something because those two weren't supposed to eat of that tree; I'm going to have to punish you for this," He pointed to a nearby tree, "Go sit in that corner until," he pulled out his list, "Until the Ark is built, that should teach you a lesson."
The snake hung its head and quietly walked beside the tree. Adam and his partner were spitefully bickering back and forth in rage.
"This is all your fault!" Adam shouted, "Why did you give me the fruit?"
"I-I-I didn't know any better," The man shouted back, "The snake tempted me. You shouldn't have eaten it."
"Now, you two," Michael addressed, "Both of you are in the wrong here. Now, since you two disobeyed God and everything else, I'm going to have to punish you two. Uh," He pulled out the list again, "Oh, yea. You two will never eat of this tree again, you have separated yourselves from the Lord and the world that you now inhabited is now tainted with sin. You have to till the ground, work, labor, and all that. And you two are no longer immortal; you have a life span now… Well, 700 or so years should be plenty of time for you two to sort things out, Huh?"
When Michael saw the two men staring at him in complete confusion, he simply shrugged and put the list away, "Ah, you two will figure it out. All you two have to do is work together. No problem, right?"
He began to ascend into heaven, with his job pretty much done.
"You two be good now."
800 years later
Inside the throne room of God was a large rectangle table; will all of the angles nervously looking around and twiddling their thumbs. Michael was at the head of the table with his head covered in shame. God himself was sitting adjacent from him with his arms crossed and a foot tapping on the floor. On the table were two skeletons that belonged to the only two men on earth.
"Maybe I should have… Um… Took the rib out… Give the other human a way to reproduce, and… Yea…"
"Why didn't you?" God asked.
"Well…" Michael thought for a second, "I wanted the two to be equal. I didn't want one to have an advantage over the other, you know? I mean, the other human would have been like, a reliability. Not only that, but female humans would be subject to scrutiny because they would have been physically weaker; I mean their whole bodies would have been built just to carter babies. They would have things like breasts, curves, just disadvantages they would have to face when dealing with the world. I mean I guess it's possible for the woman to be just a strong as a guy, but they wouldn't come around too often."
God took in a deep breath, exercising the patients he built over an infinity as the archangel continues to relentlessly defend his case.
"I-I mean common, when humans reach a point of time when they begin to discard traditions in favor of liberalism and idealism, they're going to fool themselves into thinking that females can be completely equal as males in every way possible," He turned to the angels, "I know at least some of you have checked out some of their things when the Internet was in swing."
"I have a tumblr account," A vocalist meekly commented.
Michael pointed to him, "Yea, you ever noticed they began making comments like gender equality and the like?"
He nodded, "All the time. I was following this one girl that has a job in management. She broke her back trying to lift something heavy one day and I commented that she should have gotten help from a man to help her lift it. I had several people flood my comment section calling me a sexist," He disappointingly sighed, "I can't even update my daily praise wall."
"Yea," Michael said, "Man has always dreamed of achieving equality, or at least the ones with good intentions anyways. If I made the other human a woman she'll be disadvantaged right off the bat and won't be equal to the man, so I said to myself while creating the other human, 'well, I'll just make it a male, so that everything can be equal'."
God face palmed, "Michael, just… Go to your room and let me handle this."
The archangel slowly stood up and slowly walked out embarrassment and shame. God stood from his chair and held the planet in his hand before crushing it.
"There's goes seven days of hard work," An angle whispered to another.
Then God began to create a new planet; what he would call Earth.
"When we write the law for mankind," He said, "Be sure to say that marriage is just between a man and a woman… In fact let's just say that homosexuality is a sin, period; before and after my son fulfills my word. I don't want to do this again."
The angles slowly nodded in agreement.
With Earth hanging in space, God cleared his throat and commanded light flood the earth... Again.
Michael was in his room; sitting on the edge of his bed with the embarrassment still heavy on his shoulders. Normally, he would write quires and songs to cheer himself up, but…
"This is complete crap! All we sing about is about God; is it wrong to sing something else for a change?"
Lucifer was in his room; which meant no peace and quiet.
"Why does he always tell us what to do? Did he create us just to sing about how awesome he is for all freakin eternity!?"
Michael slunk to his bed and covered his head with a pillow.
"I hate him! I hate everything about him! I want to grab him by the hair and hang him with it!"
The archangel turned his head and tried to reason with him, which he knew was in complete vain, "You're the most beautiful angle in existence, Lucifer. You can't go to the quire without those cherubs screaming like little fan girls."
"You think you can send me on a guilt trip? God has made me so much better than you'll ever be!"
The archangel groaned, "I… Don't… Care."
"Of course you don't. You didn't care to give the other human a womb and a vagina to make babies with. I would have had it perfect the first time if he put me in charge. Some creation you turned out to be; I bet he put you there just so you'll be a laughing stock."
"Don't want to hear it."
"Common, you know this whole thing is buttocks just as well as I do. If he created us to be so perfect, why did you goof up?"
"Free will, genius! Only our Father is perfect; how many times did he explain that to you?"
"That's what bothers me; why even give us free will to begin with? He wanted beings with a will of their own to choose to worship him… Like, we're no different than those mindless drones that were before us, only this time we can say, 'Oh, I have a choice? I give you glory anyways!' We never had a choice to begin with!"
"I'm going to explain this one more time," Michael shouted, "God created us so he can be loved and love us in return. Mindless drones can't do that."
"And that's selfish; completely selfish! I can see this and he can't. He's flawed I'm telling you."
Michael groaned again; already feeling a divine migraine.
"I bet I can take him. He claims to be so perfect and mighty. If I could just prove him wrong, just one little thing wrong; make him say or do anything against his own word."
"Just stop, please."
"He may be perfect, but if I'm right… Then I would be more perfect than he is."
Michael chuckled, "The whole kingdom knows you're not perfect; not even close."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Who has the most chiseled chin, hm? Who has a six pack? Who has the most beautiful voice?"
Michael grabbed another pillow and stacked it against his head, "If you're so perfect, then SHUT UP!"
:p
"Okay, give me a second to evaluate what just happened," Princess Celestia said, with Luna standing by her; just as miffed, "You and Shadow were at a party last night, the two of you became intoxicated, and had the Chaos Emeralds with you… And the next thing you knew, there was an unconscious girl on the table."
The said girl lay motionless on the floor in front of Sonic's team and the mane 6. She was wearing a white dress, with her squint eyes and chubby cheeks hinting that she came somewhere from Asia, or at least somewhere in that area.
"Yea, I think we used Chaos Control," Sonic answered, finding it difficult to look her in the eye, "I was trying to impress Rainbow Dash, and someone dared Shadow to take a drink or two," Sonic sheepishly smiled, "Turns out he's not too tolerate to alcohol, took one sip and was out."
The said hedgehog had two guards beside him, ready to restrain him as he casted murderous glairs at Sonic.
"I didn't ask about him," Celestia deadpanned, clearly angered, "I want to know how she came to be,"
"I-I don't remember. I was drinking, then doing that Chaos Control scheme with Shadow. The next thing I knew she appeared."
Shadow was casting glairs at the hedgehog until something rang a bell with the unconscious human in question… He could have sworn he's seen her somewhere before.
"Well, you better take this poor girl back where she belonged. I can't believe you would be so incompetent, Sonic."
Shadow's eyes widen as memories flooded him. He HAS seen her, in fact; he remembered Sonic rescuing this girl countless of times.
"Uh, about that," Sonic said, wincing, "The Chaos Emeralds scattered when I came back-"
"Sonic, you maniac!" Shadow suddenly shouted, fully remembering as he took a couple of cautious steps back from her, "That's princess Elise!"
Sonic and his friends darted their eyes towards Shadow with wide eyes as the ponies looked to him in confusion.
"Yae, another princess!" Pinkie cheered.
"Who's princess Elise?" Twilight asked.
While Tails, Knuckles, and Amy struggled to contain their panic. Sonic approached her and carefully rolled her to her back. He jumped back when he saw that all too familiar face, fearfully stepping back, "Oh Chaos. What have I done!?"
"Who exactly is she?" Celestia and Luna demanded, "An enemy?"
Sonic was too busy panicking to notice two angry rulers, "Nononononononono. Anyone but her, anyone but her!"
"You better hope you took her after the Morbis incident," Shadow growled, approaching her, "We're going to have a ticking time bomb on our hands if it was before."
"I demand to know what exactly is going on here!" Celestia shouted in fury.
The whole crowd jumped when the princess shouted.
"There was an event that took place in a kingdom back on our planet," Tails began to explain, still keeping his fearful eyes on the unconscious girl, "To get to the point, this girl is caging an evil so powerful that it'll destroy existence if it was ever released."
The two rulers reared back in shock.
"The only way this evil can be released from her," Tails continued, "Is if she cries."
"If… She cries?" Luna asked in confusion.
"Yea," Amy said, "And she's not exactly a stable girl either."
"You mean if tears met her cheek," Luna continued, feeling fear creeping into her as well, "We're all going to be whipped out?"
"Exactly," Amy answered, "If she cries, everyone dies."
The princesses nervously looked at each other.
"We don't know anything yet," Knuckles cut in with fear oozing from his voice, "S-S-Sonic could have taken her after it was released."
Suddenly, Elise slowly and sluggishly sat up, stretching her hands as if she was sleeping. Everyone in the room kept absolutely silent.
"Wh-where am I?" She asked in confusion
She scanned the unfamiliar room; first noticing two tall horses sitting on some kind of throne, "W-who are you two?"
The princesses took in a deep breath and put on fake smiles, "We mean you no harm. I am Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria and barer of the Sun," She pointed to her sister, "This is my sister, Luna."
"Greetings," Princess Luna said.
Elise continued to search the room, until she lay eyes on the most wonderful animal she has ever met.
"Sonic!"
Before the hedgehog had any time to react, the girl gave her hero a bear gripping hug. Everyone else jumped back when they saw her becoming emotional.
"C-c-c-calm down, calm down," Sonic pleaded, "Tell me, what was the last thing you remember?"
She continued to embrace the hedgehog, not daring to let her go, "Oh, you have no idea how happy I am to see you! I was being kidnapped by Dr. Eggman, and then you showed up and rescued me."
Tails, Amy, Knuckles and Shadow felt color drain from their skin.
"For the third time!" She finished.
Princess Celestia and Luna thought quickly. They needed a plan with the rest of the gang, and now.
"I'm sorry to intrude this reunion, Elisa," Celestia said, "But Sonic has a meeting scheduled just minutes from now. We must see him immediately."
Elise turned to the two in shock, "But-"
"Don't worry," Luna ensured her with a warm smile, "You will see him again very shortly. There are manners we must discuss."
The two Alicorns used their horns to teleport everyone out of the room, everyone else save Elisa. The princess quizzically looked around her.
"Give me a good reason why I shouldn't send you to the moon, Sonic!" Luna shouted in her Canterlot voice, with her eyes glowing with energy, "I should slay you where you stand!"
"I-I-I'm so sorry!" Sonic pleaded with his back against the wall, "I'm sorry! You know how mistakes happen when you're drunk!"
"The whole kingdom is now in danger thanks to you," Princess Celestia said, almost growling with anger.
"L-l-listen. All we have to do is find two Chaos Emeralds to send her back. Just two, and we can pretend this whole thing never happened."
"They could be anywhere in this world, you fool," Shadow growled, "And that may not be enough time to save existence."
"We-we-we just need to buy time then," Sonic suggested, "I-I can keep an eye on her. She's extremely clingy to me."
The princesses looked at each other before nodded.
"You and your friends can keep her in Twilight's library," Luna said before sneering at him, "If anything goes wrong, Sonic; I'll paint the whole moon with your blood."
Sonic gulped.
"Okay, how about I show you around outside," Sonic said to Elise, "It's beautiful out here in Canterlot, and it's going to be a little while before the carriage pulls up."
"Oh, that sounds wonderful," The princess delighted with a smile as they approached the doors.
The princess suddenly opened the door, and was simply dazzled by the busy street. As she rushed out, the sun struck her skin, making her glow intensely.
"Mah God," Applejack gasped as she turned away, "That's the whitest girl ah'd ever seen."
There was a roar of pain and discomfort as she began to walk down the street. Ponies passing by her had to turn away, making them trip or hit a wall. Sonic and the others rushed to her blindly as a large group of noble ponies suddenly stopped and stared.
"Honey," Fancypants shouted in horror, "What is that?"
"Look away, Fancy!"
"I… I can't! It Burns!"
He screamed and ran in horror; tipping a trash can before running into a poll, knocking him unconscious. Sonic managed to catch up to her, but couldn't look directly at her, "Listen, we need to wait at the carriage stop. We don't want to miss our ride."
"But there's a Starbucks near here."
"I-I think I see the carriage," He lied, "Let's get over there, quick!"
They managed to guide her over to the stop. As a carriage began to approach them, however; the driver was blinded by a white light before tipping the ride over; causing a nasty pileup behind it.
"…You know what, let's just walk," Sonic suggested, grabbing a jacket from a nearby clothing racket, "And wear this; it's freezing out here."
"But I'm not cold-"
"Yes you are," Sonic threw the jacket on here, "We don't need you catching a flu."
:p
"When was the last time we appeared in a bonus together?" The Tails Doll asked as he and I watched the little fillies and colts rush into the school yard to play. We were far enough away to not be noticed.
"Just been busy, man." I answered.
I sat down on the grass as we continued to watch the younglings play. We saw the Cutie Mark Crusaders come out of the school building with Pip Squeak leading them. We heard the three fillies singing about how great he would be as class president, with Diamond Tiara competing against him for votes.
"Man, that was a good episode." I commented.
"This is where the Cutie Mark Crusaders get their cutie marks, right?"
"Yea," I answered, "Caught me off guard, too. I always thought that the three had individual talents that were hinted at during Season 1. Guess the producers changed their pre-destined Cutie Marks so they can continue to be the crusaders we know and love."
"Well, the cutie mark thing was going to happen eventually," The Tails Doll said.
The Doll was awkwardly waiting for me to comment until he looked to my direction. He saw me with a notebook and a pencil out when a big grin on my face.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
I looked back at him, "We're going to have some fun. Ever thought the election skit was a bit… Boring?"
The doll looked at the playground and back at me for a few seconds before a lightbulb appear over his head.
"Are you going to do what I think you're going to do?" He asked with concern.
I nodded as I began to write, "Too bad I don't remember the exact dialog in the episode."
The Cutie Mark Crusaders determinably marched out of the school with high heads, raising their voices in a chorus of their humble candidate. Tiara and Spoons were on the playground zipping from pony to pony in a frenzy trying to rally support from their opponent. The pink pony could not believe that the three would dare to challenge her, but she was confident that she can over take them, just like she's over taken every opposition every year. Pull a few strings, make a few threats, it's easy to get underneath everypony's fur.
She was just about to burst into a chorus to boast of her confidence and cunning, until she noticed something missing.
"Hey," Applebloom said to the fillies, "Where's Pip Squeak?"
The other two fillies glanced at her direction, and immediately searched around when their candidate was missing.
"What the hay," Scootaloo said, "He was there just a second ago."
Tiara began laughing as she marched to the three. Silver Spoon, as surprising to the three fillies as they noticed her presence, hung back instead of being right there by her side. It was odd of her.
"You three dare to challenge me for school president and your candidate didn't even care to show up?" She laughed, "I bet he was so embarrassed."
A loud horn suddenly erupted from outside the school. Every filly and colt turned their heads to the direction of the sound and suddenly found a gold coated limousine cruising down the road. The limousine stretched for miles as the front passed by, with the body passing the school endlessly for several minutes. The students watched on in awe, staring in wonder until the limousine gradually stopped. There was a giant, golden T painted on the limousine door
An attractive mare wearing a red dress suddenly appeared to open the door. The students stepped back when a white colt emerged from the limo wearing a black tux. His lips were puckered while his brilliant combed blond hair shimmered in the sunlight.
"Pip Squeak?" The crusaders ushered in wonder.
The colt said nothing as he trot towards the school, making his way to the stairs. Diamond Tiara cocked her head in confusion and disgust.
"What are you doing here?" She asked.
The colt adjusted his collar as he gazed at the little filly with beanie eyes.
"Running for class president," He simply answered, "What else?"
Her mind froze for a second until she recognized the colt from her class, "Pip Squeak?"
"Pip Squeak?" He asked, as if insulted, "The name is Trump. Donald Trump."
The students could only stare at the colt in confusion until Tiara burst out laughing, "W-what did you do to your hair? That looks lousy! I've seen hobos that do their hair better than that."
He simply shrugged, giving her a small grin, "Well, that's just your opinion, but I brush my hair just as well as your parents raised you; lousy, and I spend more money on it than your parents will ever spend on you."
Her face flushed with anger while a couple of students around her chuckled, "Well, take that limousine of yours and get out of here, because I will win this election as I do every year, and this year will be no different."
He scuffed, "See, that's where things are going to change. Me, as well as every filly and colt here has had it with your bull crap; pulling up dirt on everyone and what not."
A couple of students nodded with disgusted looks.
"I don't do ponies like that. I'm not a derange stalker like you, miss. I respect people's privacy."
"You don't have any proof," She huffed, "You're just saying that just to make me look bad."
"I don't think some of the students here exactly agree with you."
She glanced around for a second and found a couple of students bravely glaring at her. She kept herself from losing face and pressed on, "Well, I don't know about anypony else, but I have connections with Canterlot. If I'm elected for class president, I promise to double the playground sides, and build a statue in the middle of it."
Trump shook his head, "You mean your parents has connections to Canterlot."
Tiara rolled her eyes.
"About money," He continued, "I'm the owner of the most successful business known to Equestrian that merchandizes luxury items. My name alone is worth billions, more money than your puny brain could ever imagine. I have my tower place in the center of the capital, three times taller than the palace. I have nearly a thousand ponies working there to provide only the best," He pointed his hoof at her, "And my name is everywhere. I owe several businesses, land, loyalties, farms; your mom's pointy dildo has my name on it."
Several colts snickered manically as Tiara restrained herself from tackling him.
"If I'm elected class president," He concluded, "I'll fund every little thing this school will need. Books, repairs, equipment, all you fillies and colts has to do is ask and it'll be done. I'll triple Ms. Cheerilee 's salary while I'm at it."
Tiara felt sweat drip from her forehead when she noticed the students around her cheering for him. Even Silver Spoon looked intrigued.
"Well, I have connections with Royalty. Who wants to meet Princess Twilight?"
She sighed with relief as every filly and colt turned to her with wide eyes.
"I can have her come over for a visit if I'm elected class president," She sing-songed.
Trump shook his head, "I don't even think she knows your name."
"She does," She snickered, "We hang out all the time."
He shrugged, "Then I'll do you one better. Who wants to meet Princess Celestia and Luna?"
Everyone gasped as they immediately turned their heads with eyes as wide as saucers.
"You're making that up," She deadpanned.
"We play poker Friday nights," He explained.
Tiara glared at him dead in the eyes, "Prove it."
He took a deep breath, pondering on something; as if he was hesitant. After a minute, he shrugged his shoulders.
"Let me tell everyone a story. Me, Celestia, and Luna were playing Poker one night when we were young. Miss Celestia lost a bet and had to stick a pair of Luna's used tampons up her nose."
Tiara giggled in disbelief while the rest nearly barfed.
"To be honest, I didn't think she'll do it. To my complete amazement, she took a quick trip to the bathroom and came back out with the two bloody cotton wads up her nostrils. I lost a bet on the next hand and dared me to take the same tampons and suck on it. I popped them right in my mouth."
Tiara gagged; some passed out.
"I took the pieces out and kept one of them as a sign of our friendship," He reached into his jacket, "In fact, I have it right here in my pocket."
He held the little tube of cotton out for everyone to see an unholy collaboration of red and saliva. Everyone gagged and awed all at once. Tiara couldn't even believe what she was seeing.
"So, miss," Trump continued while glaring at Tiara, reaching back inside his pocket, "I don't think you have Twilight's used tampons in your pocket. Do you?"
She subtly shook her head no, "That's disgusting. No sane pony would do that."
"Well, I was young," He explained, "I come across many young mares when I was young as well. I saw most of them again, but some of their parents kicked them out for being a leech; so in order to keep up with the Canterlot quo, they'll hit on rich stallions for money. I think the term is gold digger," He narrowed his eyes, "And believe me, you act just like an about to be gold digger. Give yourself five years or so and you'll be hitting on stallions twice your age. I guarantee it."
Tiara heard roars of laughter with some of the colts pointing at her and doubling over. She kept her head intact and continued with the debate, looking for something to throw at him in the process.
"You know, what you said really hurt me," She said, straining herself to sound hurt, "I'm not insensitive and mean like you are."
"Oh, I'm glad I'm not a sensitive colt," He quickly answered, "Sensitivity seems to evade honesty. If ponies were honest about you, they would call you a dirty cunt."
She snapped and grabbed the nearest object; which was a horseshoe. She threw the thing with all of her might at the snob, ready to see that puckered lips of his smashed into pieces. When she regained poster, however; she found him completely unharmed. In fact the horseshoe was completely missing, "Huh?"
"The horseshoe ran off when it realized what it was being thrown at," He calmly explained.
Ms. Cheerilee, who was standing behind the candidate very awkwardly for the entire speech; raised her voice for the whole student body to hear.
"Uh, w-w-we will be having our ballet now. E-everypony please line up and vote."
Two days later
Diamond Tiara was mooding on the school's stairs. A large shadow was cast over her, with the new Trump tower being constructed right on top of the school. Giant statues and hedges littered the front complex with two Canterlot soldiers stationed at the entrance. As she cast her gaze down in complete disappointment and defeat, she suddenly saw Applebloom exiting the building wearing a full suit with a backpack full of dense text books. The country filly walked to her, and with a big grin, jammed her hoof on her chest.
"Ya can't stump the Trump."
:p
"I'm so glad everyone arrived," Princess Celestia said to the mane 6 and Sonic's team, "As everyone has heard this morning, somepony has taken the element of magic last night."
The ponies started at her with shock.
"The thief has been identified as Sunset Shimmer," Celestia continued, "Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Shadow; you five must enter the mirror and retrieve the crown."
The ponies looked at them quizzically.
"Why can't the rest of us help her?" Twilight asked.
"This other world supposedly parallels this one by some degree," Celestia explained, "I don't want to disrupt it any more than I haft to."
Sonic gave her a half smile, "Don't worry, we can handle whatever might await us."
Celestia smiled, "Then may good fortune be with you all. Be careful."
Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Shadow passed through the mirror one by one.
Sonic was the first to pass through to the other side. As his friends followed behind him, he beheld the scenery that was in front of him. It was a large school complex, with a fence and gate surrounding the property. There was a fountain looming behind them; and he can see a couple of stray students rushing towards the building as the bell ring.
When he turned around, he suddenly found four humans staring at him with astonishment.
"Guys?" Sonic asked.
The four were looking over themselves and no longer felt fur on their skins. Amy almost squealed with sudden terror.
"We changed into humans," Tails said, "This world must have changed our appearances," He whistled when he got a good look at Sonic, "You look good by the way."
Sonic checked himself more thoroughly. He was a wearing a yellow and white school uniform like the others. He had white skin, and from running a hand through his hair, he felt it spiked.
"You don't look bad either," Sonic commented back, "I didn't know you to be a blond."
"I'm a blond?" He asked.
He walked over to the water fountain and checked his reflection on the water. He had two ponytails dangling from the back of his head. He suddenly noticed the glasses he was apparently wearing.
"Huh," He mused, "Who would have thought."
Amy joined him and checked herself as well. Her short, pink hair dangled around her head; and although her skirt matched the school, it was brushed and wide, just like the skirt in the other world.
Knuckles joined her, and the very first thing he noticed was the amount of muscle he had, almost twice as buffed compared to Sonic. He was taller than the others too, with long; red hair stretching almost to his back. He took one good look at himself and the others and noticed something.
"Why are we all Japanese?"
The others looked at him quizzically for a second before looking at each other.
"Beats me," Tails answered.
Knuckles looked away from the pond and turned to the others, "I mean crap, if it wasn't for the hair, I honestly wouldn't be able to tell yawl apart."
"I think it has something to do with genetics," Tails theorized.
Knuckles glanced back at the fountain, "Man, they must had some serious commitment to their blood line."
"Anyways," Amy said, "We have a mission. Sunset Shimmer could be anywhere in this school, so I suggest we split up and look for her."
"We still need to blend in with the crowd," Sonic added, "So hold off of doing anything too drastic until we regroup here after school."
"Sounds like a plan," Tails said, "Let's head off."
They were on their way to the entrance until Sonic suddenly stopped.
"Wait, where's Shadow?"
The two quickly scanned around and suddenly found a heavily black clothed Japanese gothwith ear and nose piercings. He had his arms crossed while he stare at Sonic threatingly. The blue hair boy couldn't help but grin.
"... Shadow?"
"Don't you say another word," He hissed.
The school bell rang across the school, and hordes of students poured out of the classrooms and crowding the hallway in just a few seconds. Tails was the last one walking out, stuffing the note and history book inside his newly acquired backpack and began to fight through the crowd to get to his locker.
"No sign of any of the girls or Shimmer yet," He noted, just dodging a student, "I'll never find them here in this crowd. I need to go outside."
He pushed and strained through the crowd as he makes his way to the double doors. It took him a solid minute to get to the entrance, and he almost tripped on a set of stairs underneath him. When he regained his footing, he was relieved to have space around him. One glance around, and he suddenly noticed a large gathering of students crowding over a nearby building. They were holding picket signs and screaming things he couldn't quite make out. He figured that it'll be a good place to start if he were to find any of the girls.
When he approached, he began to make out what they were saying.
"You need to apologize," One shouted, "How dare you allow vile things on the newspaper."
Tails suddenly stopped and changed courses, going around the crowd inside towards it. They were ganging and shouting at someone among them.
"We demand that you fire your editor," another shouted to the top of her lungs, "If you don't, we're going to go on a hunger strike until our demands are met!"
When he approached the other side of the crowd, he suddenly saw a tall, blond student wearing a pink vest standing awkwardly before them. Her white skin looked as smooth as glass.
"Blaze Writer has been with me since he attended," She squeaked in fear, "He already apologized, I'll make sure he doesn't do it again."
Tails immediately recognized her voice from the other world.
"Cadence?"
"That's not good enough," A white student shouted in anger, "He's oppressing us just being there. My colored friends will never walk on these grounds with a sound mind with that bigot editing our newspaper. Our college is a safe haven for everyone; every color and every gender. We will not stand for this any longer!"
Everyone shouted in a roar of cheers.
"You're violating our safe space," A Hispanic student shouted at her as he approached her; making her back off away from him, "We are all equal here in Canterlot High. You lost this fight, Cadence. Resign, and take that bigot with you."
The crowd began clapping as Cadence, whom was trembling with tears in her eyes; ran in the opposite direction.
"I quit!" She screamed.
Tails was completely disgusted, and felt sudden compassion and took off to catch her. The crowd, whom was cheering with a loud cry; slowly began to disperse when the bell rang.
Amy decided to try her luck in the library when the bell rang, hoping to find one of the elements of harmony present, practically Twilight in this world. The girl has always been a nerd in the other world, and she's betting it's the same here.
After fighting the crowd, she managed to find the library and pushed her way to the door. She managed to pull the door open and slide in before she was swept away from the crowd.
"Note to self, never fight a crowd in a school building," She huffed.
She observed her surroundings, looking for anyone that might resemble the elements or Sunset. There was a single row of computers lined up against the back of the room, and in front of them are dozens upon dozens of book shelves crammed full of school material. Her eyes perked when she suddenly saw a blue-spikey hair boy sitting on a table at the very back of the room with his head down.
"Sonic?" She called.
She walked over to the table he was sitting in and sat down beside him. A closer look at him didn't reveal Sonic, however; but an American student. His body was slump over with his eyes closed; as if ashamed. He looked hurt, and Amy couldn't help but feel a ting of compassion for him.
"What's wrong?" She asked.
He took a deep breath before answering.
"Our Colonial ancestors enslaved a whole race of people," He said in a low tone, "Our race were responsible for the inequality that minorities face today; not gaining privileges that we have. If our ancestors weren't so greedy in capitalist opportunities."
Amy cocked an eyebrow, "…Huh?"
"Don't you get it?" He choked, "We were responsible for the oppression minorities face today, all the way back to the founding of America."
She took a minute to completely comprehend what exactly she heard, "And… What does that have to do with you?"
"I just feel so guilty," He whimpered, "thinking back of what we did to every colored person that were different from us."
"Well, I can't say that I sympathize with you," She said, didn't really know how to take the situation, "but-"
He suddenly whipped his head towards her in an angry stair, making her jump back, "How could you not? You're guilty as I am."
"… I'm not an American," She deadpanned, "I'm apparently Japanese."
His eyes suddenly widen in terror, "Oh… Oh I'm so sorry that we nuked your country twice and cause so many of your kind to die and suffer for so many years."
Amy shook her head, "Listen. You need to chill out-"
"No," He insisted, "We wrong your country in so many ways."
She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, catching herself before she could raise her voice at him. When she collected her mind, she put a hand on his shoulder.
"Okay, if this makes you feel any better," She began, "You can help me by finding Sunset Shimmer."
"Sunset Shimmer?" He asked, with his tone much lighter, "Oh, bless that girl's heart. She been helping minorities around here with healing the wounds we afflicted upon them," He slumped in his chair and put his head down, "And to think she would date me; a privileged white man."
She stretched her hand, "I'm Amy."
He looked at the hand nervously for a second before shaking it with his own, "Flash Sentry."
Sonic was in the thick of the crowd when the bell rang, weaving through them as he decided to check the hallways and lockers. He decided to retreat temporarily to the bathroom until the crowd clears a bit so he'll have an easier time to identify people in the crowd. It took a solid minute to clear, but once it did; he took his first steps out.
He had at least fifteen minutes before the next class starts; more than enough time to scan the building for her.
Sonic started on the first floor, and to his surprise; spotted her right away. There was a large crowd gathered, and Shimmer's red and orange hair stuck out like a sore thumb. She were in the mist of them with a large pocket of space around her, and students were surrounding her. As Sonic approached, he noticed a light Hispanic student standing before her, looking extremely nervous.
"Sunset Shimmer," He pleaded, "I must know. Am I privileged?"
The girl took one good look at him, and proceeded to draw a brown bag from her pocket. She observed him through the bag, and after a few seconds; lowered it and smiled at him.
"Nope. You are an oppressed minority."
The Hispanic threw his fists up in the air in triumph; as other Hispanics, blacks, and transgender people hugged and patted him on the back in acceptance. It was at this moment that Sunset Shimmer took notice of a blue-haired, Japanese boy curiously looking at him. Before he had time to react, she walked towards him with a friendly smile.
"Hi, I'm Sunset Shimmer. You must be new here."
Sonic's nerves were on edge when she found him. He played along, though.
"I'm Sonic," He answered, stretching out his hand.
"I usually greet the new students here," She explained, "I'm the student council of Equestria High."
Sonic studied her as he greeted himself, but didn't seem to see any kind of mask.
She must have expected for Twilight to come here, He thought, She may not recognize me.
"Yea, I just enrolled here yesterday," He said, quickly coming up with a story, "Here to study abroad."
"That's wonderful!" She cheered, beginning to pull out her bag, "mind if I do this real quick?"
He gave her a quizzical look as she observed him through the brown bag. Her smile quickly frowned with concern as she put it up, "This may be a bit sudden, but are you aware that you're privileged?"
"…Huh?"
She put a hand on his shoulder, looking him in the eyes, "You may be new here, but in this country; minorities such as myself and millions of others are discriminated against because of their color. We don't have as many opportunities as someone with your color does, because capitalists and corporate companies that run this country are racist towards us; even when this country was founded our kind were enslaved and used our slavery to build this nation."
"I guess that makes since," His opinion was otherwise, but he wanted to be done with her and regroup with the others, "But I'm Japanese."
"Then you must be aware of the awful things the government did to you during World War II," She said, "They put your kind in solidary camps, all because you were Japanese."
"I think it's because we were at war with them," He blankly said, "Once the war was over, we either intermingled or went home when they realized we were no longer a threat."
"But that's wrong," She continued, with compassion oozing from her voice, "People don't do bad things to others just because of their own beliefs and nationality."
"Oh yes they do," Sonic quickly answered with a blank stare, "Besides, I was never put in a camp. I never cared about my nationality anyways."
She recoiled with shock, as did everybody nearby that heard the two, "But why wouldn't you? It's a wonderful thing."
"I never saw the big deal being a minority." He flatly stated.
His statement, by some unknown force, caused low musical notes to hum throughout the entire campus. Sunset Shimmer, as well as every student behind her, began to bob their heads along with the subtle music.
The world is made of so many things.
Sonic sighed, leaning against a wall.
Including people from all other the globe.
Black and brown, and the colors of the rainbow.
We stand together in unity
We stand together in the name of equality
Weeee arrrreeee
Students began to clap their hands along with a techno beat while Sunset Shimmer's voice boomed throughout the building.
A minority.
We're different by color and race
A minority
But we're seeking for a common place
A minority
We're different by country and beliefs
A minority
Our only goal is equality and relief
We are a minority
Sonic was suddenly approached by a student wearing makeup and a dress, but was no doubly a guy. He had piercings on his nose and ears; even had a diamond poking through his tongue.
For so long I have been on the end of depression, because my identity was not accepted.
One day my parents decided to surprise me, they paid for my gender surgery.
Instead of accepting who I was, I just asked the doctor to cut off my buzz.
Now that I'm taking gender studies, I can help anybody with uncertainties.
A minority
We're different by gender
A minority
But we're all blended together
A minority
Even if we're not of the norm
A minority
We're still human by form
We are a minority
Among the singing crowd emerged from them what Sonic thought to the be ugliest woman he's ever seen. She was a walking boulder with fat hanging from her sides, with her hair dyed brightly red. She was wearing a t-shirt that had a female symbol on it with a fist going through it.
For so long has our kind stuck together; surfing websites like reddit and tumblr
We spread the word of equality; from feminism to communism, to social justice and marxism.
And to all that disagree, is a privileged, unintellectual, INTOLERANT, SELF-LOATHING, TROLLING, BLACK HATING, GAY BASHING, CIS SCUM!
The crowd awkwardly stared at her with wide eyes for a moment before the music picked back up.
A minority.
We're different by color and race
A minority
But we're equal and in unity for a common place
A minority
We're different by country and beliefs
A minority
Our only goal is equality and relief
We are a minority
The crowd all pumped their fists up as a series of sparks and flashes erupted around them; bringing a climatic ending to the song. Sonic stared at them in a state of mental shock as his mind struggles to comprehend what he has just scene. Sunset Shimmer approached them with a wide smile on her face.
"Now do you understand why it's so great to be one of us," She swooned.
Sonic could only blankly stare at her and shake his head, "yea… But I don't think I like what I see."
The crowd behind her gasped in total shock as Sunset blankly stared at him for a solid minute. Her wide smile quickly turned into a scowl, and she jabbed his finger into his chest.
"Listen here, I don't know who you think you are, but we stand against the injustice that corporation and capitalist force on us; unlike you," She suddenly pulled out a piece of paper and jammed it in his arms, "And one day, you're going to understand what we stand for, and you're going to conform."
She passed by him in a march. The students that were singing slowly parted, casting nasty glances at him as they left. Sonic glanced at the piece of paper that was given to him, and read that it was a list of privileges.
Tails and Cadence were sitting on the blenches of a nearby football field. The field was all but deserted, and it was the perfect place for the two to talk privately.
"I did everything I could for them," Cadence sighed, "I tried to do the right thing, I tried to make them happy, but no matter what I do for them, they are never satisfied."
Tails put a hand on her shoulder, "Be glad you resigned; you didn't need to put up with their crap."
"Their complaints are so out there, "She said, "They were yelling at me earlier for letting Blaze Writer identify a student as a black man," She covered her face with her hands, "He wasn't 'black', he was 'colored'. I totally overlooked by mistake, and Blaze Writer is about to take the heat for it now."
Tails was surprised by the story, "Why would they mad about that?"
"Because the term 'black' is a phrase used by white people," Cadence explained, taking in a deep breath, "They say that it belittles them."
"everyone I know uses the term black," Tails stated, completely mystified, "It's the color of their skin, that's the first thing that comes to a person's mind."
"Tell them that," She deadpanned, raising their voice, "The term offended someone on campus, so we can no longer use it."
Tails shook his head, "Man, this is just like how the word nig-"
His mouth was suddenly covered by Cadence's hand. She glanced around fearfully, checking underneath the benches.
"Don't ever say that word around here," She pleaded, "Riots has been thrown for that word in this school. They witch hunt for anyone that uses the term that must never be named."
Tails stared at her with shock as she put her hand down, "You serious? Where's the headmaster in all this?"
Principal Celestia and Luna were sitting inside a red mustang in a dark ally. They were looking over a particular street, hiding their vehicle in the darkness. Luna wearingly looked to her sister, whom was spying the street with her binoculars.
"This is ridiculous," Luna sighed, "Can we just go back to school?"
"Of course not," Celestia hissed, not blinking once, "There was a plot to completely ruin the parallel world for profitable gain. They've been slithering here and there, thinking that I won't catch on; but I have ears throughout the entire town. There was an informative that was supposed to be here, and we'll get him when he shows up."
"You're crazy," Her sister deadpanned.
"It's the money," Celestia mumbled, "It's all about the money."
Suddenly, a Rabi wearing long grey robes casually walked down the street. There was a Star of David on his cap, and his nose stuck out longer than anything natural.
"There he is," She growled.
She cranked the engine and with two headlights striking the sudden Rabi, he suddenly took off. Celestia floored it, with the car's eight cylinder engine roaring like a dragon as she sped onto the road. The fleeing Rabi took a sudden turn, but the mustang only needed a second to turn with him. Thinking quickly, he ran to the street corner and dived behind a concession stand. The car misses him completely, and sped off while he raised his head, with his nose hanging from the edge he was hiding behind. Celestia made a complete u-turn, sticking her head out the window as she bore daggers at him. He simply rubbed his hands together and gave her a grin. She screamed to the top of her lungs.
"I'm going to kill you all, you conniving Jews!"
She gassed it again, charging straight towards him as the Rabi waited at the last second to dodge out of the way.
"…She's a bit busy," Cadence simply answered the blond boy.
Tails pinched the bridge of his nose, with the gears in his mind turning, "Surely there's someone else that's not going alone with this."
"Psst!"
The two suddenly shot their heads up with attention.
"Down here."
They looked beneath their feet and suddenly found an Asian student waving at them from below the bleachers. Her hair was dyed violet, and she was wearing a strange combination of purple and white with her school clothes.
"Twilight!" Cadence called with surprise, "What are you doing here?"
"I usually come here to get away from everyone," She answered, "I overheard everything you said, and believe me, there's more going on here than what's on the surface."
"What do you mean?" Tails asked.
Twilight cautiously looked around, "Come down here and I'll explain."
Shadow decided to begin his search around the school campus before going inside the building itself. He's been tugging and pulling on his piercings ever since he arrived. The tongue piece came out pretty easily, but the nose and ears were giving him an extremely hard time.
"I need to find a bathroom," He mumbled.
He found a building sitting by itself towards the back of the campus, separated from the rest. As he approached the building, he suddenly noticed a small sign sticking out of the grass next to the building.
"Safe zone," He read.
He shrugged his shoulders and opened the door, and was immediately greeted by a very particular sight. There were building blocks and legos straddled across the floor, with a large plasma TV playing the teletubies overhead. The walls and ceiling were colored with a gentle blue and pink texture.
'This school has a day care?', He thought.
It was at this moment when he suddenly noticed a full grown man sitting in front of the T.V, with a pack of cookies on one hand and a glass of milk on the other.
"Um… C-can I help you?"
He looked the other way and found a pale girl with long pink hair stretching across her back. It was Fluttershy, no doubt.
"The heck is this place?" He asked, rather loudly.
She put a finger to his mouth and quickly looked around, "k-keep your voice down. This is a safe space."
Shadow only cocked an eyebrow, "A safe space?"
The girl subtly nodded, "A safe space is a place where everyone can be open with who they are without being judged," She was adverting her eyes away from him until she suddenly looked to him with compassion, "Do-do you need someone to talk to?"
Shadow looked around, and suddenly found an Hispanic girl with wild, pink hair bouncing to a student with a bottle in her hand. He witness as this girl, whom he was for sure was Pinkie Pie, sat with this student to talk.
"People called me crazy when I said that I'm a dog," The student groaned.
The Hispanic girl popped the bottle in his mouth and gave him a gentle hug, "It's okay; no one is going to challenge logic here!"
The student slunk to the floor, ready to take a nap as the girl zipped to the kitchen. Shadow's mind struggled to comprehend what just happened, so he shoved it to the back of his head.
"I just need a bathroom," He said to the pale girl.
The girl studied him for a second before timidly answering, "Um…it's over there. J-just be sure to knock."
The bathroom was only a short walk away, but as he approached it; he suddenly noticed two familiar figures from the corner of his eye. A tanned girl with very muscular arms and legs with rainbow hair was sitting beside of what looked like a cowgirl… Or at least she looked like a girl, it was extremely hard to tell from the amount of muscles on her.
"This place is so wonderful," Rainbow said as she put an arm around the other girl's shoulder, "We don't have to put up with anybody calling us a 'boy' or a 'girl'. Everyone in here knows that we're transsexuals."
"Ah really love how they invented these pronouns to accommodate us ere'," Applejack gleamed, "Theresa sign in here that has a guide of how ta pronounce our pronouns."
"I know, right?" Dash said, "The whole school needs to know how to use them. The capitalist system only believes that there are only boys and girls. That's not true at all! You have Transexuals, bisexuals, pansexuals, transvestites, hermaphrodite, skoliosexuals."
"Ya! Ah don't know why people didn't figure that our earlier in history."
"Because history is full of bigots," Rainbow said with a low growl, "History isn't safe for anyone."
Applejack nodded, "Yea, we need ta tell Sunset Shimmer uf setting up uh hunger strike to take out History in our study courses. It's racist, we shouldn't be studying it at all!"
"It offends me!" Rainbow shouted, becoming angry, "Most of history only talks about privileged white people! White people oppress minorities! Why are forced to study white people! I aorta go to tumbler and tell everyone that history is oppressive! Those money grubbing pieces of sh-"
She was suddenly hushed when Pinkie zipped to her side and put a finger on her mouth, "Shhhhhh. It'll be alright; just lay down and think of happy things."
Pinkie supported her as Rainbow slowly lie on the ground, resting her head on the hispanic's lap as they sat together.
"I'm so angry," Rainbow growled, slowly calming down.
Pinkie gave her a wide smile, "It's okay to feel angry. Being offended means you're totally right," She pulled a rattler from her pocket and waved it over her, "Now, who wants to go nighty-night?"
Rainbow contemplated on the question for a second before grabbing the rattler and shaking it a few times. Once her energy was spent, Pinkie pulled out a teddy bear and gave it to her, letting her cuddle it as the Hispanic began to softly sing a lovably. When Applejack saw that the excitement was over, she went back to coloring.
Shadow took the whole scene in. His only response was turning around and heading straight out the door.
I'll just pee behind a dumpster.
"It hasn't always been like this," Twilight said to Tails as they began walking to the other side of the school, "This school used to represent the best in the entire country."
"I know something like this didn't happen overnight," Tails said, "What happened?"
"A combination of things," Twilight said, "But this whole ordeal began to really take off when Sunset Shimmer took the roll as student council."
"And you're saying that this is some sort of way to manipulate the students into submission?" Tails asked.
Twilight nodded, "People called me crazy when I said that. I believe that Sunset Shimmer is up to something; something big. She disappeared yesterday, and when she came back; she pretty much went on a war path to rally students together in protest."
Tails was pondering whether to tell her about the crown and the parallel world business, but decided to keep it to himself. He didn't need two possible allies to dismiss him as a crazy.
"Twilight," Cadence said, "I know your smart, and I know that Sunset can be a bit out there with her demonstration sometimes, but you have a tendency to be paranoid."
The Asian took in a deep breath, "Since you're not busy, I want to show you two something. I've seen Sunset Shimmer slipping in and out of the black part of the school, and I'm suspecting she's scheming something."
Twilight lead them to a busy basketball court. There were black students straddled all around the court, save for a few athletic whites that have a love for the sport. Tails peered into the crowd, and immediately saw a red-haired Japanese boy with a basketball in his hand, with a huge victorious grin on his face.
"Hey, that's Knuckles out there," Tails said.
"You know him?" Twilight asked, still looking wearingly ahead.
"He's a close friend of mine," He said.
'What's he doing playing basketball? He's supposed to be looking for Sunset Shimmer!'
The three observed from a safe distance as Knuckles was suddenly confronted by a black girl with purple, curly hair. She stomped towards him, with her hands balled into a fist. Tails felt his eyes bulge from their sockets when he heard her voice, 'Sweet Chaos. Rarity is black.'
"We already told you to leave this court," She growled, with everyone casting daggers at the lone student.
"Common, don't be a sore loser," Knuckles said, chuckling, "We agreed that I can play on the team if I beat your boyfriend on a one on one match. Just let me play already."
"No, you white scum!" She snapped, "We will never let any of your kind mingle with us."
Cadence and Twilight looked on with fear and amazement as this student stands against a mob of angry black students. Tails was silently praying.
'Get out of there, you numbskull!'
Knuckles' grin only grew wider, "I didn't know blacks can be that angry against the white man. Common, I don't think any of you ever experienced slavery. Why be mad against me?"
Rarity's face turned full red while the crowd behind her began to creep towards him, "Listen here. You don't ever refer to us as black people. We are people of color!"
His eyes widen with surprise, "Wait, calling you black was offensive? Your whole skin is black; you call me white scum just two seconds ago, it'll be no more right to call you black."
She was beginning to grind her teeth.
"You know, there was this other word that refers to your nationality," He mused, "Let me think. Most of your ancestors came from Nigeria, so a short term for that is…"
Cadence, Twilight, and Tails were holding their breaths as the crowd continues to approach him.
"Niggers!"
At that one instance, the whole crowd stopped with Rarity freezing, staring at the student with cold, dead eyes. Suddenly, she began to scream in rage. The three observing the scene watched with amazement and horror as Rarity began to convulse. A long tail suddenly popped out from her skirt as fur suddenly grew from her skin. Her muscles began to bulge, with her arms becoming as thick as logs as her face began to distort and twist. Sharp canines threw in her mouth as saliva drooled from her puffed lips. When the transformation was complete, she pounded her fists on the ground and jumped Knuckles before he had any time to react.
The three observers began to fearfully back off as the black students behind her began to transform as well.
"W-what's happening?" Cadence asked.
Twilight took her by the hand and began running, "They're climbing down the evolutionary latter! Run!"
Tails took off after them, letting Knuckles pay for his stupidity as Rarity continued to pound on his head like a drum, with several monkeys surrounded them in a circle to cheer her on. Somehow, he broke free; and began to run towards their directions as everyone else chased after him.
Sonic heard the bell ring, signaling for another class to start. He was down the hallway, heading for the next class.
I need to find the others as soon as class is over, He thought.
He was about to open the door until he felt a sharp blow to the back of his head. The blow instantly knocked him out.
Sonic felt his conscience slowly returning to him, with his blurred vision beginning to clear. He tried to move his arms and legs, but suddnely realized that they were restrained. After a second, when his awareness fully returned to him, he suddenly realized that he was retrained against a wooden chair inside a dimly lit room. He was about to panic until he suddenly found Sunset Shimmer hovering over him with a wide grin.
"Hello, Sonic," She chuckled, "Fancy meeting you here."
He continued to pull against the restraints, "W-what is this? What's going on?"
"Oh simple," She sighed, "I just asked a couple of my friends to knock you out before class and drag you to the school's basement. We need to have a little chat."
"Straight to the point, are you?"
She nods, "Well, why beat around the bush? My class is about to start in about an hour, so I need to pretty quick about this… Sonic the Hedgehog."
His eyes widen with realization, "So you did recognize me!"
"I recognized you right away," She said, "I knew Princess Celestia was going to send someone after me as I made my escape," She straddled his lap, staring down at him with an ever growing grin, "So tell me, did you bring any friends with you?"
He rolled his eyes, "Of course not."
"Well, that's good," She cooed, matching his sarcasm. She ran a finger down his face, "I'm going to tell you all of my dirty secrets, and when I get through, I'm going to make you-"
"You hitting on me?" He bluntly asked.
Her predatory face suddenly melted to a face of confusion. As soon as she recognized what she was doing, she immediately got off of him, "Sorry, just got caught up in the moment."
He shrugged, "No worries; please continue."
She nodded, beginning to walk circles around him instead, "I've been plotting domination as soon as I found this school. I tried to get myself elected as student council by bullying and black mailing my way to the top, but it didn't work out. In the next election, instead of playing the role of a conqueror, I decided to play the role of a victim."
She stopped in front of him, "In this world, I'm a perfect blend of Hispanic and black. All I had to do was say that school officials were treating me unfairly because of my skin. It worked like a charm; I won the position by a mile. When I finally had influence, I took my plan further. I began to tell people that they were oppressed just as I was; that we needed to stand together as a community to stand against injustices, because that was our duty as the future of this country. They flocked behind me like a heard of sheep."
She pulled out Twilight's crown from her back pocket, "See, this whole thing was never about race. It was about control; to use people's emotions as a gain of power. Their pitiful cries of outrage over the meaningless things meant more power to me, and the more irrational they get, the easier they become to control. Their pride became their ultimate downfall, and when their pride in their own nationality became so swelled up beyond logic, that was when I took charge."
Sonic took in a deep breath, letting the whole scheme sink in, "So what did you need the crown for?"
She raised the mystical object up, "The crown? It's going to be the final piece I move before I win. Have you noticed why white students around here are so quiet and submissive? There were a few brave students here that would dare expose my plan, so I set my little movement against them. We began to call them racists and bigots because of their nationality, and they just collapse like a house of cards," She began to chuckle, "It was so brutal that we sent every white student here on a permanent guilt trip; like their balls just shriveled up and disappeared."
She held the crown to her chest, "And that was exactly what happened. When people don't stand up against bull crap, their balls shrivel little by little until there's nothing left."
Sonic's eyes widen with fear as she pointed the star of the crown at his crouch. She began to laugh manically as he helplessly pulled against the restraints.
"And with the Element of Magic, I can speed up the process!"
"She would usually come around here," Flash explained, as he and Amy were walking by the side of the main school building, "My friends like to hang around here too. Sunset would lecture us about our heritage, and how we can heal the damages we done to them."
She rolled her eyes. They were approaching a group of white students until Amy saw a spiky blue hair student sitting away from them with his knees and arms tucked in. She immediately recognized him.
"Sonic?" She asked, jogging towards him, "What are you doing here? Why are you moping around?"
When she was standing over him, she kneeled and put a hand on his shoulder, "What's wrong?"
Sonic slowly raised his head to look her in the eyes, with streams of tears flowing down his cheeks.
"I oppressed a colored person," He whimpered, "I actually oppressed a colored person. I was so wrong to question her beliefs… I'M SUCH A BAD PERSON!"
He wailed out loud and fell to his side. Amy froze, trying to process what she has just heard while Flash knelt in front of him and embraced him in a hug.
"It's alright, bro," Flash said, sobbing himself, "You've learn. We've all learn. It just takes some of us a little time to realize that we don't question minorities. Logic is a thing we all must let go, bro; and we're going to share this guilt together!"
The two sobbed out loud, continuing to embrace each other as they cry on each other's shoulder. When Amy finally came too, she marched to Sonic's side and shoved Flash off of him.
"What's gotten into you?" She said, raising her voice, "You're not guilty of anything."
"Yes I am!" Sonic shouted, "I'm prejudice! I'm prejudice against color! I committed the worst sin that any man could ever commit!"
Flash recovered and resumed embracing the hedgehog as he sobbed, "Amy; take your insensitive self out of here. Can't you see that we're mourning?"
"Oh, why must our lives be damned by birth!" Sonic wailed, "If only we were born poor and helpless, we wouldn't be so insensitive!"
Amy had fumes spuming out of her ears. She marched over to Sonic and grabbed him by the arm; yanking him off the ground with all of her might.
"We need to regroup with the others," She spat, "Now you're coming with me whether you feel like it or not!"
Flash tried to stay on him, but Amy kicked him square in the stomach before he had a chance to stand up. Amy was dragging the boy like a sack of sand, but from the amount of frustration that was bent up in her, it was no worse than dragging a chair across the floor. She managed to drag him until they were coming around the corner of the school. To her surprise, she found Tails and two girl running in a full sprint towards the entrance.
"Hey, Tails!" She called.
He quickly glanced towards her direction before jumping his way up the stairs, "Notimetotalk! Getinside!"
She raised an eyebrow until she found Knuckles running closely behind the three, paying Amy no mind and running inside, slamming the door shut behind him. Just a second afterwards, as she gaze upon the horizon in front of the school, her eyes widen with sheer terror. A large pack of screaming monkeys were galloping towards the school, with a purple haired ape leading the charge.
Without a second to spare, she hauled a whimpering Sonic up the stairs as fast as she could. When she was up, she pounded on the door with her fists.
"Knuckles!" She pleaded, "Open this dang door!"
The door swung open for just a second, but three hands yanked her and Sonic inside. The door slammed shut behind the two.
"Are you alright?" Tails asked.
"Yea," she quickly answered, "What the heck just happened?"
Tails was about to answer until Twilight suddenly squealed. She was looking out the window and pointing through it, "F-flash is still out there!"
Cadence and Amy ran to the window and saw the blue haired boy standing before a raging crowd of screeching monkeys. His arms were spread wide as they were quickly closing in.
"Everyone," Flash shouted with tears in his eyes, "It wasn't right that we enslaved you 200 years ago. My guilt hurt just as much as the stripes we inflicted upon your backs."
The crowd was seconds away from him.
"We're so sorry!"
He was knocked down as the crowd tramples over him, sprinting towards the school without giving him any kind of mind.
Everyone that were near the door immediately ran towards the hallway. The group were sprinting their way to the back of the school, and was relieved when they found the emergency exit unoccupied. The bolted through, and was immediately met by Shadow.
"Where have you been?" Amy asked, panting.
"Busy, and I haven't been away for that long," He quickly answered, "We need to run, now."
"What about the crown?" Knuckles asked.
They suddenly heard loud poundings behind them. The group briefly looked to find three monkeys pounding on the door, apparently haven't figured out how to open it yet.
"Forget the crown," Shadow said, "We need to get out of here."
They were about to take off until Amy suddenly noticed Sonic missing. She immediately saw him leaning against the door where the three monkeys were pounding on.
"Please, forgive my intolerance!" He shouted, "I was ignorant! How can we question your logic if we subdued your kind to torture?"
"Sonic!" Amy shouted, running towards him and cuffing him by the wrist, "You come with me this instant!"
Shadow was baffled, "What is he doing?"
"I don't know," Amy answered, "Every white boy in this school has been acting like this; something about history and guilt. you tell me."
The ultimate life form rolled his eyes, pushing Amy aside, "Let me handle him."
Shadow put a hand on his shoulder and violently spun him around. He saw his twin with tears flowing down his cheeks; sniffing with every breath he took. The goth looked into his eyes for a good solid second, letting him have the chance to calm down. Without an emotion to spare, he balled his hands into a fist and punched him square across the head, knocking him out cold.
"Now he won't be a problem to carry," He said, jogging away from the school, "Someone give him a piggyback."
Knuckles took on the offer and the group began to run away. Before they could get far, though; a sudden flash of light suddenly appeared before them. Sunset Shimmer appeared before them, holding the magical crown in her hands with a wicked grin on her face.
"You group of oppressors aren't going anywhere."
Shadow made a mad dash around her, but was quickly blown back by a sudden force the crown gave.
"Why are you doing this?" Cadence shouted, clearly angry, "You represented the very image of this school. Everyone looked up to you, I looked up to you-"
"Oh hush," Shimmer snorted, "I was planning this whole thing to entire time if you haven't figured it out already."
"What did you do to Sonic?" Amy shouted in anger.
With her grin growing wider and wider, she held out two glowing orbs, "I took away his only source of masculinity."
The group blankly stared at her for a second while Knuckles slowly lift a finger towards the orbs, "Are those… Oh my God."
"Yes," She simply answered, "This is exactly what you're seeing. This, as well as everyone else's; will be my main source of power," She crushed the orbs in her hands, making Knuckles nearly gag as the energy flowed through her arm to her body like water, "I already obtained a healthy dose of them through my rise of power, but now-"
With the crown's star glowing, she began to levitate, "With the power of Magic in my grasp, nothing can stop me when I turn this school into an army of ball-less monkeys!"
She held the crown high in the air. The school itself began to blow an ominous purple, and before everyone eyes, tiny glowing orbs began to levitate towards the girl. As Sunset began to glow pure white, a sudden series of screeches louder than anything heard by man erupted from the building. Windows were instantly shattered as streams of screaming, fist pounding monkeys poured from the building; a swarm so massive that it covered the horizon that was in front of the school. The swarm titled waved over to the group before they had time to think. For a brief moment, Knuckles noticed a large group of white monkeys running towards them.
"Wait, I thought it was only blacks that-"
He was pounced, as with everyone else. They were ruffed up a bit before they held them by their hands and legs. They began to clear space, letting the group clearly see the sky above them. Sunset levitated over them, with her body glowing brighter and brighter until she suddenly exploded in a brilliant flash. They turned their heads to shield their eyes.
"It isn't just people of color that chimp out, you fool."
When the flash was over, they saw a strange human figure hovering over them with glowing brown skin. She spoke with multiple voices as she demonstrated her body towards them.
"Take a good look of what I've become," She wisped, "I have taken the absolute perfect, tolerant, and equal form of a human. My blood is intermingled with every race known to man except for Irish, with skin that shows every heritage ever. My gender has yet to be discovered by science; I am the most unique being to have ever existed."
Sunset Shimmer pointed the crown at the pinned group, "When I turn you cis-oppressors into ball-less monkeys, I'm going to use the crown to go back in time and make another race; and they shall be the most oppressed race in the history of the world. We're going to cross the Mexican border, be sold to white people, and I will personally ask Hitler to gas millions of us. The modern era will bow before us in guilt!"
Amy, Tails, Knuckles, Twilight, Shadow, and Cadence struggled with all of their might to break free, but were futile. The only thing they could do was simply turn their heads away and close their eyes, letting the worst come. Their crotches began to glow as they felt their identity and manliness being seeped out.
"I don't understand how women can have balls," Amy commented.
Sunset Shimmer began to laugh manically, "It's one of those metaphorical things… I wouldn't use magic to gather literal balls; that would be just gross."
She was almost done finishing the process. She could feel their energy beginning to seep into her… Until she felt something strike her cheek. It disrupted her concentration, and the balls that were going to her instantly went back to the heroes; much of their relief. Sunset Shimmer, now angry, looked below and saw a rock settling beneath her.
"Who threw that?!" She boomed.
"Me," A deep voice rang out from the side.
She quickly turned her head to the direction of the sound and immediately found what looked like a small, thin colt. He was wearing a tie, with his lips puckered and his golden, law-defining hair swaying with the wind. Sunset's eyes narrowed with hate when he saw him.
"I know you," She hissed, "You're that little brat that won the roll of class president."
"You're right," He said, "And I'll forgive the instant that you didn't refer me as my name. I don't exactly like what you're doing to these students, and we're going to put a stop to you."
"We?" She laughed, "There's only you, and I have more power than-"
She was quickly hushed when the filly leapt forward and kicked her in the stomach faster than a blink of an eye. The impact instantly knocked her several feet, grounding her as she tumbled down. She was quick to recover, however; and was on her feet with pure rage in her eyes.
"Yes, we," He repeated, turning his attention to the entire crowd of monkeys as they angrily glared at him, "I'm going to tell everyone something about this dolt. She's a manipulating little bastard that's been sucking on her parent's tittles for pale grant money. She the most privileged individual to have ever walked these school grounds."
"How dare you belittle me!" Sunset screamed, "Look at yourself, white-scum; you're a part of the 1% of the world population. It's the 1% that owns slaves, it's the 1% that discriminates our kind."
"I'm not just a part of the 1%," He said, "I'm richer than the 1%, I've earn more money than any of you will make put together, but I'm also going to be the one that would have employed your sorry butt once you graduated from this place," He pointed his finger, "And I spend my money on employees, not throwing all of it away on a college degree. We're not so different, you and I; we both inherited our money from our parents, but I didn't throw it away on college like you did, I got smart with mine."
He adjusted his collar, "But that's beside the point. Have you people noticed how ridiculous all of this crap is? I thought college was meant for a place of learning and advancing one self, learning skills needed for the outside world. In all the years of my life, I have never heard of any skill that requires minorities to act like a bunch of apes when something doesn't go their way."
The anger on the monkeys faces soften a bit, with gears in their heads turning.
"My God, you bunch are meant to represent the future and this is how you act? I thought I walked into a local zoo when I first got here."
"Listen to him!" Sunset shouted, "He's calling you animals, making racial jokes towards us because of our color."
"Because of how you apes act. I don't care if anyone's offended or not. No matter what anybody says about anything, somebody is going to be offended. Heck, people are being offended for people being offended, it's lunatic."
The crowd continued to calm down.
"What happened to you people? Ya'll got so caught up of appeasing everyone and end up pissing everyone off for it," He pointed his hoof at Sunset, "and that's how you got in control."
"I am a liberator, I am a leader, I am NOT an oppressor!"
He turned back to the crowd, "I believe you apes lacked what separates a well rounded individual from sub-human animals."
Suddenly, he lept towards Shimmer, shooting off the ground like a missile and dove hooves first into her stomach. The impact was so hard that Sunset broke the sound barrier being thrown back. When he made contact, a small pack of glowing orbs fell to the ground. He landed squarely on the ground, facing the ground and pointing his chin up.
"balls!"
He grabbed one of the orbs and chunked it towards the crowd. The orb landed on Sonic's head, which magically phase into him. The monkeys that were holding him down let go, and the student slowly got up on his feet. There was no more guilt on his face, just a second of confusion before it turned into a smile.
"I feel like a million bucks," He stated, "Man, I don't think I ever felt this good. It's like my conscience has been completely wiped clean."
There was a sudden loud screech behind the colt; Sunset Shimmer flew towards him like lightning; but he spun around and delivered a wild sucker punch, sending the brown human tumbling violently sideways. A large burst of orbs spat out of her.
"It takes balls to be offended and take it like a champ," He said, "You show the other guy that you don't give two craps about what he says to you. It takes balls to learn from the pass and forgive the wrong that has been done, it takes balls to throw away pride, and it takes balls to stand up to crap like this."
He leapt towards her before she had a chance to recover. His front hooves moved like lightning as he threw jabs at her, and finished the combo with an uppercut. She was sent sky high, leaving a massive trail of glowing orbs on the way.
"So pick up your balls!" Pipsqueak shouted.
The apes began to pick up the glowing orbs that were dropped on the ground. As the orbs seeped into them, their fur and tail began to shrank. They were turning back into human being. Sunset struck the ground with a loud thud, almost leaving a crater on the way down.
"W…What is this feeling?" A student asked, just transforming back, "This feeling of dignity?"
"I feel empowered," A black student said, "This is nothing like I felt during the protests… I feel… I feel like someone can stereotype me and I won't have a fit about it."
Sunset Shimmer lay motionless on the ground. With the power now gone from her body, she began to transform back to her usual self.
"Who cares if my ancestors owned a couple of slaves," A white student said as he picked up an orb, "I don't give two craps about my skin."
"Yea, screw my skin!" A black woman shouted, "I'm just a student trying to get a job. Screw the noise!"
"Me too," An Hispanic said, "I don't care if Mexico deserves its land back from the US. My parents didn't work their butts off just to see me protest. They want to see me succeed."
Sunset Shimmer struggled to stand up, with panic clearly in her voice as she began to scream, "No! nonononono! You're all oppressed! You should fight back against society! Color is power! Black lives matter! Black lives matter! Black li-"
Pipsqueak stood over her, with anger clearly in the business man's eyes. He stood on his back hooves and raised his front hooves to the air. His body began to glow brilliantly white; and his whole body began to morph. The little colt took the form of a human wearing a black tux and a blue tie, with power and dominance radiating off of him. Sunset, with the little energy she had left, tried to squirm away from him. Her body began to tremble as if looking at the face of a god. Trump casually put a ring on his index finger, forming his hand into a fist and pounded it against his other hand. He spoke to her with a thousand booming voices, making her freeze in parlaying fear.
"The Trump shall not be stumped."
He gave her a swift punch to the cheek, knocking her out cold.
Two days later
Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, Amy, Shadow, and the alternate beings of the Element of Harmony sat together during lunch. Their crouches, as well as everyone else's, glow brightly that day. They were chatting about their experiences until they suddenly heard a white student shout something towards two black men with a grin on his face.
"What are you niggers doin'?"
The two students smiled back, inviting him over to the table.
"Aw, you know us. We were talkin' about robin' a liquor store until the white man got up in our business."
"Well, I hate to call the pigs," He chuckled, sitting with them.
An Hispanic student joined them, "Aw, don't worry about the pigs. You give the pigs a slop of money and they'll let anything get by."
"You build that wall yet?" One of the black students asked.
The Hispanic chuckled, "Well, when you get your friends to pull your pants up when walking down the street, we'll consider it."
The heroes sitting at another table smiled as the students had a good laugh together.
"Isn't this great?" Knuckles said, "I've never seen students this chill."
"I guess when you stop giving a crap about your own ethnicity," Twilight said, "You stop being uptight about it. Having an interesting bloodline or ethnicity is great and all, but that shouldn't define who you are."
"Let's not forget the main root of being offended to begin with," Tails added, "Pride. Attack someone's pride and they're bound to get mad."
"Pride isn't exactly a good thing to have," Shadow said, "It's a sin for a reason; swells your brain with an ego until it can't be reasoned with."
"And let's be honest," Amy said, "Being attacked by racial slurs can be unpleasant, but sweet Chaos, it's just words."
"Stick and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," Pinkie sing-songed.
Rainbow decided to chip in, "It makes you an even bigger douchbag having a hissy fit about it. It may be natural to simply retaliate and be defensive, but people don't understand the opportunity they miss to build a bit of character."
"Ah'd admire someone that can take insults like ahn adult," Applejack said, "Who wansta hang out with someone that gits offended all da darn time? Ya hafta watched every little thing ya say and do to avoid hurtin' them."
"I would prefer someone fun!" Pinkie shouted.
Fluttershy hesitantly and softly spoke, "I… I don't mean to play the devil's avocate, but some of those words were meant to hurt people. The N word is a belittling word."
"But times are much different now," Sonic said, "There was a generation where minorities did struggle just because of who they are, but they're accepted these days. Slurs don't carry much weight these days; and can rather be funny."
"And that's how racism should be," Knuckles concluded, "A joke… Right Sunset?"
The group looked to the girl standing by the door way. There was an icepack on her head with a T marked on her cheek, when she smiled; she revealed a couple of teeth missing.
"Now I'm glad we all learn a little something today," Sonic said, standing from the table, "We have the crown, so we should be heading back the next chance with
Everyone else stood with them.
When Rainbow stood, she revealed her figure after she received her metaphorical balls, "It's been good hanging out with you guys."
Sonic whistled, "Man, you look good. I thought you were a tranny."
Rainbow dash stared at him for a second before she doubled back laughing, "Nah, I'm just a faggot."
Applejack nodded, with her figure feminine as well, "Ah dropped the whole act when ah realized it wuz better to embrace what you were born with than change it."
The group was making their way back to the fountain. It was night with a full moon out; which activated the portal to the parallel world.
"It's been good seeing all of you," Cadence said, "Thanks for your guys help, I have no idea what this school would have turned out to be in the future with all the bull crap taking place."
"Sure," Sonic said, shrugging, "We had a tendency to fix crap when it occurs."
"You be sure to visit sometimes," Twilight said.
"We will," Knuckles said before crossing his arms, "I hope you have a way to deal with Sunset while we're gone."
The Asian chuckled, "Oh, don't worry. I don't think we'll be hearing from her again," She leaned in to whisper, "Besides, she grew a pair of metaphorical balls after the whole deal. We'll show her the ways of Friendship while she has them."
Sonic gave them a thumbs up, holding the crown on the other hand, "With that noted, we best be heading back. Common, guys; let's-"
They were interrupted when they suddenly saw a tall white woman wearing a suit and a tie running towards them with break neck speed. She stopped in front of Sonic and lay her hands on his shoulders, with eyes widen with panic.
"Principal Celestia?" Twilight asked, "what's-"
"Did someone guard the portal?" The principal asked the boy, "Please tell me there was someone watching over the portal."
Sonic stared at her quizzically and shook his head, "Uh, no… No one-"
"No one was on guard?!" Celestia asked, shaking him, "Are you stupid. You let them in! You actually let them in!"
"Who?" Cadence asked.
"The Jews!" Celestia shouted, "This whole thing was a distraction, I… My God, I hope I'm not too late!"
Without warning, she dived head first into the portal.
Principal Celestia shot back out to the other side. It took her a second to regain her bearings, but fear struck her when she took in the entire surrounding. The colors weren't right, the atmosphere wasn't right. Her face turned into complete shock when she saw Ponyville, and immediately saw the Mane 6. The lines that make up their shape were super thick; with the shapes themselves simplified; stupidity so. They began singing, and she could hear all the intelligence that was in the original characters completely drained; not only that, but their personalities were so different that she couldn't even recognize them. Techno beep-bop music blasted around her.
P-O-N-Y.
P-O-N, P-O-N-Y.
My Little Pony.
P-O-N-Y.
P-O-N, P-O-N-Y.
My Little Pony.
Let's Go!
The Principal, now a duplicate of Princess Celestia; fell to her knees in dispare. The others that were on the other side caught up to her, just in time to see her break down.
"You morons!" She wailed, "You ruined it! You ruined the show! You let the Jews ruin the show!"
She strike the ground, "Why couldn't we let Hitler finish what he started?... Darn you! Darn you all to heeellllll!"
:p
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XD
Author's notes
Hope everyone enjoyed that, because I sure did!
I'll be signing out now. Merry Christmas, everyone.
H
Remember to look for my signature when I go into publishing!