PINKIE PIE GETS A CREDIT CARD

By GeodesicDragon

Pinkie Pie stared expectedly at the envelope in her hooves. Her name and address on the front, and the logo of the Equestrian Credit Company in the corner.

Tearing open the envelope with blistering speed, Pinkie pulled out the letter inside.

Dear Ms. Pie,

We are pleased to inform you that your application for a Mastercolt credit card has been approved. Please find your new card enclosed with this letter.

Your credit limit is: 10,000 bits.

The rate of interest on your card is-

Pinkie's eyes scanned past the wall of text (since walls of text are no fun to read) and fixed themselves on the small piece of plastic attached to the paper.

This is your new card. Please sign it immediately, otherwise it will not be valid.

Extracting the card from the paper, Pinkie pulled a pen out of nowhere and signed the back of it.

"Finally!" she squealed, "I can use this to get my friends whatever they want, because they totally deserve a treat! Ooh, and I'll get myself some treats as well, but only after I've treated my friends!"

She looked around as if expecting a reply, but finding nopony else, she disappeared in a puff of confetti and streamers.

The Ponyville Library was buzzing with activity. Twilight Sparkle and Spike were re-shelving the books, while a trio of fillies watched.

"Come on, Twilight!" one of them said, "You said we could borrow some books for school. So why can't we just take them and go?!"

"Because, Scootaloo," Twilight replied, "not only do I need to re-shelf the books, I need to catalogue them as well. And if any go missing, I'll get worried. So if you, Applebloom and Sweetie Bell could just be patient, I'll get done faster."

"Awww, come on, Twilight!" Applebloom said, "Ah reckon ya could get done faster if'n we helped ya!"

Twilight froze, a look of horror in her eyes.

"No, no!" she said quickly, "I'll be fine with just Spike helping me. Right, Spike?"

She gave the baby dragon a pleading look, which he returned with a sigh.

"She's right, girls." he said, "Just let us work, okay?"

The Crusaders sighed and went back to staring at the floor.

"HEY, EVERYPONY!" Pinkie yelled, as she suddenly leapt out from a pile of books in the middle of the floor.

In the resulting fright, Twilight fell off the ladder and landed on Spike, while the Crusaders dove behind another book pile.

"Pinkie!" Twilight snapped, "What is the meaning of this?!"

"Silly Twilight!" Pinkie replied, "I'm here with gifts!"

Everypony perked up at the mention of 'gifts'.

"What kind of gifts, Pinkie?" Sweetie Belle asked.

Pinkie produced a box from thin air and placed it on the floor. She opened the top and jumped inside before appearing with her hooves full of items.

"Here you are, Spike!" she said, handing the dragon a box.

Spike opened the box nervously. Whenever Pinkie Pie gave a gift, you had be sure it wasn't going to explode.

As the top came off, the room was filled with a glow. Spike's eyes widened, and he began salivating heavily.

"No way!" he said, as he took a gem out the box. "Another Fire Ruby?! Thanks, Pinkie!"

"No problemo, Spike!" she replied, "Since you were so super-duper nice and gave your last one to Rarity, I thought you'd like another one. Enjoy!"

Spike didn't respond, as his tongue was busy caressing the ruby.

"Here you are, Twilight!" Pinkie said, throwing out another box. Twilight caught it in her magic and opened it.

Her squeal of delight was so loud, it could be heard in Canterlot.

"A signed first edition copy of Starswirl the Bearded's first book?! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!"

Twilight began bounding around the room happily.

"You're welcome, Twilight!" she said.

She turned to the Crusaders.

"I haven't forgotten about you three." she said with a smile.

The three fillies eyes lit up in eager anticipation.

"So," said Scootaloo impatiently, "what did you get us?"

Pinkie grabbed more boxes from the big one she had summoned earlier and tossed one at each Crusader.

Sweetie Belle was the first to open hers, and her eyes shone with tears of joy upon seeing what she had received.

"I got my own set of really fancy fabric!" she said excitedly, "Now I don't have to risk the wrath of Rarity by using hers!"

"I knew you'd like it." Pinkie replied.

Applebloom was next.

"A hat like mah sisters?" she gasped, "But she told me that there weren't none ta be had!"

"Take a closer look at the label." Pinkie said.

Doing as she was asked, Applebloom let out another gasp.

"Custom made by Hoity Toity?!"

Pinkie nodded.

"Thank ya, Pinkie! This must've cost ya a fortune!"

Pinkie giggled.

"Silly filly," she said, "nothing is too expensive for my friends!"

She ruffled Applebloom's mane as Scootaloo opened her gift.

"A scooter that moves itself! Finally, I don't have to tire myself out by using my wings!"

The three Crusaders hugged Pinkie. Twilight and Spike, now recovered from their happiness shock, also joined in.

"Aww, thanks everypony." she said, "But if you don't mind, I have more gifts to deliver. Bye!"

Twilight, the Crusaders, and Spike suddenly found themselves in a heap on the floor as Pinkie (and her box) vanished into thin air.

"Now, Fluttershy, isn't this simply marvellous?"

"Oh, yes, Rarity. It is."

Rarity and Fluttershy were at the spa for their weekly spa date, soaking in the mineral bath.

"Thanks again for this, Rarity," Fluttershy said, "I really like it."

"So do I!"

Both mares opened their eyes to see Pinkie in the bath with them.

"Hi, girls!" she said, oblivious to the puzzled looks on her friend's faces, "I've got something for each of you!"

"What do you mean, darling?" Rarity asked.

"Gifts, silly!" Pinkie replied. Once again, she pulled her magic box out of nowhere and set it down next to the bath.

"Rarity, this is for you." she said, tossing a box to the white unicorn, who caught it gingerly in her magic.

"Oh, darling, it looks simply divine!"

Rarity gently shook the parcel.

"You have to open it first!" Pinkie said, "Shaking it won't tell you what's inside."

Rarity let out a small sigh and delicately removed the packaging.

Upon seeing the gift, she pulled it out and unceremoniously threw the box onto the floor.

"This is ... one of the dresses I designed for Sapphire Shores!" she gasped, "How did you get it?!"

"I bought it from her, of course." Pinkie replied.

"But, darling," Rarity said, "it must have cost a fortune!"

"Anything for my friends!" Pinkie beamed.

The party pony was trapped in yet another crushing hug as Rarity squeezed the life out of her.

"Thank you, dear Pinkie." Rarity said, "I shall cherish this gift, and maybe wear it to the next wedding we go to!"

The unicorn released her death grip and went back to admiring the gift so generously bestowed upon her.

"OK, Fluttershy!" Pinkie said, "Your turn!"

Taking another box, Pinkie gingerly passed it to the nervous pegasus. Closer examination revealed holes in the side.

"Oh, its a creature!" Fluttershy gasped, tearing the box open. As she removed the lid, the box burst open, revealing a majestic phoenix. The bird hovered in the middle of the room for a moment, before landing on Fluttershy's head.

"A PHOENIX?!" Fluttershy screamed. "THANK YOU!"

"You're welcome, Fluttershy!" Pinkie replied, "I totally knew that you'd like him."

Fluttershy nuzzled the phoenix, who returned the gesture with just as much love.

"However did you afford these wonderful gifts, Pinkie?" Rarity asked, "Not that I don't appreciate it, of course."

Pinkie tapped the side of her muzzle.

"That's for me to know," she said, "and you to never find out."

"But-" Rarity began

"No buts!" Pinkie interrupted. "Now, I need to go find Applejack and Rainbow Dash, so I can give them their gifts."

"Oh, they'll probably be at Sweet Apple Acres then." Fluttershy said, "Rainbow Dash promised to help Applejack with the harvest."

"Okay!" Pinkie replied, "See ya later, girls!"

Before either mare could respond, she had vanished.

"Boy howdy," Applejack said, gasping for breath, "Ah'm plumb tuckered out. Thanks for helpin' me, Dash."

"No sweat." Dash replied, "And I mean that literally. No sweat."

"Okay, sugarcube," Applejack said, "but Ah have to say that buckin' apples is a lot harder than flyin' barrels of them to the barn."

"You think that's hard?" Pinkie said, suddenly appearing in front of the two, much to their alarm, "You should try looking after a unicorn foal and a pegasus foal while trying to bake three hundred cupcakes. It's SUPER HARD."

Applejack and Rainbow Dash blinked in confusion.

"What?" Pinkie asked, "We're not playing 'Who Has The Harder Job'? Because if we were, I totally would have won."

Dash and Applejack exchanged a curious glance with each other.

"Oh, right!" Pinkie said, "That's not why I'm here!"

For the third time that day, she spawned her box of gifts.

"I have presents for you both!" she said excitedly, "I've already seen Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Spike and the Crusaders, but now it's your turn!"

Both mares' brains finally rebooted and they spoke.

"Presents?" asked Dash, "What's the occasion?"

"You don't need an occasion to give your friends gifts, silly!" Pinkie said, giving the cyan pegasus a boop on the nose.

"Well, Pinkie," Applejack said, "it's mighty nice of ya ta give us gifts. What'd ya get us?"

Pinkie rummaged inside her big box and pulled out two smaller ones, passing one to each of her friends, who gave each other a sly smile before proceeding to tear their boxes open.

"I win!" Dash said triumphantly, "Equestria's fastest gift opener, right here baby!"

"Ponyfeathers!" Applejack retorted, "Ah won, and fine ya know it!"

Dash was about to reply when Pinkie placed a hoof over each mares' muzzle.

"It was a tie!" she said, "I know, because I was watching."

Dash and Applejack looked at each other and shrugged.

"Now," said Pinkie, "less fighting, more present opening!"

Dash opened her present and reached inside, pulling out a skin-tight blue outfit.

"Oh," she said, "a replica Wonderbolts uniform."

"Silly Dash," Pinkie said, "look at the neck."

Dash sighed and did as she asked.

Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

"Property of Spitfire?!" she squealed, "You mean this is a GENUINE Wonderbolts uniform, AND IT BELONGED TO SPITFIRE?!"

Pinkie nodded.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" Dash gibbered, "This is the BEST. GIFT. EVER!"

For the umpteenth time that day, Pinkie was crushed by an over-enthusiastic hug.

Dash broke away and admired her new gift, resisting the temptation to wear it.

"Well, Dash is happy." said Pinkie, "Your turn now, AJ."

Applejack opened her gift and pulled out a piece of paper. As she read it, a look of shock appeared on her face.

"What in tarnation?" she said, "This is the deed to Sweet Apple Acres! And it has mah name on it!"

"Yep indeedy!" Pinkie replied, "You're not renting the farm any more, you own it!"

Pinkie was expecting a hug, and that's exactly what she got.

"Ah ... Ah don't know what ta say." Applejack said, tears in her eyes, "This means so much ta me and mah family, Pinkie. Thanks."

"No problemo, AJ!" she said cheerily. "I'm glad you like it."

Applejack smiled and released Pinkie from the hug.

"Y'all got us gifts," she said, "but did ya get yerself anythin'?"

Pinkie shook her head.

"Seeing the smiles on my friends' faces is the only gift I need." she said, "And I got a lot of smiles today."

"Well, ya deserve them." Applejack replied, "Yer a good friend."

Pinkie nodded in agreement.

"Ya got any more gifts in there, darlin'?"

"I sure do!" Pinkie replied, "I've got to go to Canterlot now."

"Canterlot?" Rainbow Dash asked, "Why do you need to go there?"

"Because that's where the Princesses live, silly!"

"You got gifts," Dash said, "for the Princesses?"

"Of course I did!" she replied, "They are my friends, after all!"

Before Applejack or Rainbow Dash could question her any further, Pinkie leapt into the box, which vanished soon after.

The guards approached the box nervously, their spears levelled at it, ready to engage any potential threat.

Behind them, the Royal Sisters looked on.

Suddenly, the box began shaking. The guards backed away a little as the lid opened - to reveal a pink pony.

"Hi Princesses!" Pinkie exclaimed, "I'm here to visit!"

The Princesses laughed.

"It's okay, guards," Celestia said, "it's just the Element of Laughter being ... well, herself. You are dismissed."

The guards breathed a sigh of relief as they left the room. Pinkie climbed out of the box and bowed.

"Hello, Pinkie Pie." Luna said, "What brings you here?"

"I have gifts for you both!" Pinkie replied.

"Gifts?" Celestia said, raising an eyebrow, "For us?"

Pinkie nodded.

"Sounds good to me." Luna said, "What do you have for us?"

Pinkie reached into the box and pulled out a couple of smaller ones.

She passed the boxes to the Princesses. Luna studied hers meticulously, while Celestia eyed hers with warm concern.

"Looking at them won't get them opened any faster." Pinkie said.

The Princesses looked at each other and shrugged, opening the boxes slowly.

The paper ended up on the floor in a heap.

"Er, Pinkie?" Celestia said.

"Yes, Princess Celestia?"

"... this box is empty."

"Mine too." Luna said.

"I know." Pinkie replied with a grin. "I didn't know what to get you, since you're both Princesses. So you no doubt have everything already, so I thought I'd get you nothing instead."

Celestia and Luna looked at each other, then at Pinkie, and then back at each other.

Then they burst out laughing.

Pinkie's face split into a wide grin.

"I'm glad you got the joke!" she said, "I was worried that you wouldn't, but you totally did!"

The Princesses were still laughing.

"Well, thanks for your time!" Pinkie said, "Gotta go, see ya!"

The Princesses were so busy laughing, they didn't notice the sudden appearance of a pile of confetti, nor the disappearance of a certain pink pony.

Pinkie slept well that night. Her dreams were filled with the smiles of her friends, the bone-crushing hugs she had received, and the laughter of the Princesses.

And that was all she wanted, all along.

SIX MONTHS LATER...

The pink pony sighed, the tears in her eyes staining the letter she held in her hooves. Her credit card lay on the ground beside her, cut into several pieces.

Pinkie looked down at the letter, wishing she had read it on the day she received it.

The rate of interest on your card is 40%.

We expect you to pay at least the minimum payment on your bill each month. If you have difficulty paying, please contact our Customer Service Team as soon as possible.

YOUR HOME WILL BE REPOSSESSED IF YOU FAIL TO KEEP UP PAYMENTS ON YOUR ACCOUNT.

Pinkie looked up from the letter, and into the disapproving eyes of the Cakes, who stood with their foals and belongings outside the boarded up bakery.

As the tears ran down her cheeks, Pinkie only had one thought on her mind.

I made my friends happy, but at the cost of my family.