DISCLAIMER: This continues from the Prologue series and not the Classic series, though certain elements from Classic will be present, Percy and his friends will not be on board for this book. It is also noted, that though there may be an elaborate plot in store for you, the plot may be ridiculously overrated. One more disclaimer is that there will be blood. Lots and lots of blood. Enjoy.

Recite the Multiverse

Chapter 1: Continuity

Zim had finally found the apartment to replace his destroyed base further into greater New York, in a place known as Loctat Knight Apartments. Thankfully, the Voot cruiser wasn't as crowded as it was yesterday, as Percy and Wolf hadn't had their homes destroyed, and went home to them respectively. Vir and Rav had decided that they would move in with Zim and his friends, because the hotel that they had been staying in had overcharged them by 500%* and the hotel was possibly one of the rattiest, dirtiest, most smelly things that had the nerve to place itself in the universe.

Aaron had decided he would follow as well, because he had to or he would be incinerated by Vir, who had a remote detonator for the MiniSIR in his PAK.

The three pets that the group had been acquainted with were sitting patiently inside Kat's PAK's ZPEHSV (Zero-Point Energy Hammer Space Void) that she had acquired with an upgrade. C.L.A.I.R.E's memory disk had been crushed into powder and sent back to the Massive for incineration. Hector had completely disassembled his rocket launcher and tossed it into his book bag.

Hector didn't have a place to go home to, due to the fact that he burned every place he called home to the ground with some kind of altered machine. At this point he found it comical, but others called him a complete nut case because of it.

However, when Zim asked about Hector's residential situation, he just replied, "I ran away."

Kat was still hopelessly amnesiac, and therefore thought she wouldn't need anything to call home other than the couch in the living room.

Lee remained mindlessly loyal to Zim in his zombified state, and was completely happy to leave the earth a lifeless, floating ball of dirt hurling towards the sun (worst case scenario) or a twisted dystopia of happy human freaks with giant nails in their heads who bow to the Irken empire (best case scenario). He would also be leaving his terrarium at the site of the destruction of the base, as though it was destroyed, it was still full of supplies and such that the terrarium's occupants would need to use.

When everyone had loaded the few belongings they had into the trunk of the Voot cruiser, Zim locked GIR in the trunk so that he wouldn't be singing anything stupid on the way, then he hopped right on in.

"So, is this going to be any different from yesterday or are you just going to let us slowly die of crushing?" said Vir.

"The latter," said Zim. "Suck it up and shrink. We have a bit of a ride ahead of us."

Vir scoffed and rolled his eyes, then everyone got into the Voot cruiser, creating a giant ball of humans, domesticated animals, and Irkens that only barely fit into the cruiser.

"Right-o," said Zim, and he reached for the joystick, but he stopped himself and turned around. "First, does anyone need a toilet break?"

A chorus of "no" sounded from the group.

Tak began to say otherwise, then farted. "Never mind."

"That's a no, then," said Zim, and he started up the Voot. "AND WE'RE OFF!"

The Voot covered itself in an invisibility shield that gave a shimmering effect to everything that could be seen through the ship, then it sped off.

This was something that Dib could not let happen.

Dib, who was being dragged into his house by his sister, Gaz, had seen the whole thing, and was very much enraged by the idea that Zim was on his way to an area where Dib could not see to it that he was captured for government research. Not to mention horrified.

Dib threw his hand from Gaz' grip, and pulled a grappling hook out of his pants (considering the fact that we have no idea where he hides all that crap).

"EARTH MUST LIVE!" Dib chose these words unwisely, and fired his grappling hook at the invisible Voot cruiser.

Inside the Voot cruiser, three spikes made their way into the underside of the hole, and stabbed Lee in a VERY uncomfortable area- the underside of his foot (what did you expect?)

"What the heck?" Lee asked himself; he repositioned his foot to see through the cracks that the grapple left behind in stabbing the ship, he could only see a really big head angrily making its way up the grapnel line, and man, we could talk for hours about how ridiculously enormous that head was, almost as big as a curled-up Bombay cat.

Lee looked up. "Hey, Zim! There's a giant head trying to get into the ship!"

"MY HEAD IS NOT BIG!"

"Scratch that, it's Dib!"

"Dib? DIB? For Irk's sake, does that human have a life?" Zim began a high-g turn of the Voot cruiser to shake Dib from the hull, eventually flinging him into the air and off of the grapple line, causing him to land on the back of the invisible ship, near the boosters.

"I don't give up that easy, Zim!" said Dib, he ran along the hull and reached the windshield, at least, where he calculated it was, and used his scythe of a cowlick as a crowbar to wrench the shield off of the Voot cruiser, it cracked a bit, and a few shards fell off like the sound of crunching plastic.

"Clockwise turn, Zim! CLOCKWISE!" Tak shouted.

"WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?" Zim screamed, and he spun the steering wheel, then he let science do the rest.

"A FANCY SPINNING TRICK ISN'T GOING TO HELP YOU NOW, ZIM!" Dib shouted, at least, that's what he would say if he wasn't knocked off of the ship by a renegade billboard.

Comically, when Dib was knocked off, he ripped a chunk out of the billboard, and continued spinning like he had been earlier as he shot toward the ground. He thought this was the end for him, until he realized he was holding the chunk of billboard that he kicked off, and used it to glide stealthily towards the Voot cruiser, still spinning in high-G circles that made him vomit off-camera.

Unfortunately for the amateur paranormal investigator, a pigeon obstructed his flight pattern, and he spun in uneven circles towards ongoing traffic. He lost grip of his billboard chunk, which flew into a street sign that was conveniently surrounded by explosive barrels of nitroglycerin. The street sign flipped over and stabbed one of the explosive barrels, blowing it and its brethren up and cushioning Dib's fall; not harming any cars in the process, of course.

Dib landed safely on the ground, and began running for the ship, which still had his deployed grappling hook attached to it. Of course, nobody noticed.

"I think we lost him," said Kat.

"Ya think?" said Zim.

"Yeah, I think, you have a problem with that?"

"Not at all."

Lee carefully pushed the spikes out of the floor of the Voot cruiser so that the flight pattern could run smoothly. The grapple line fell to the ground, denting some poor schmuck's car, and leaving Dib with only the three floating holes in the sky to follow.

"Nonononono," said Dib, running through the wilderness next to the highway to get to his objective. Finally, he ran out of breath, and collapsed in an open area of the wilderness. "Fuck."

Hector looked out the back window, then looked at the camera with a random mustache on his face. "That escalated quickly." Hector ripped off the mustache. "Where did this come from?"

"Throw it away, it's junk," said Vir.

Hector shoved the mustache into a trash can nearby. "Are we there yet?"

Zim pointed a laser pistol into Hector's face. "I'm not even going to tell you to shut up."

"Yes, sir," said Hector, and he promptly shut up.

"Anyone else want to know if we're there yet?" Zim asked.

Another chorus of "no" sounded from the group in the back.

"Good, moving on," said Zim.

The Voot sailed over the earth with a peaceful machine hum emanating from the booster rockets, it reached Loctat Knight Apartments at midnight, and the occupants of the Voot cruiser retired into their beds in room 9:17 on the ninth floor.

-CHAPTER END-

Seamless, isn't it? It may have gone a bit too fast for the liking of the average reader, but chapter one of Prologue had also gone by quite quickly. I promise that the next one will go more slowly.

*Yes, we will be filling this story with numbers like in Prologue, it has to seem similar.

And in other news, Code LYOKO is now on Netflix, which is completely irrelevant to the story.

DISCLAIMER: There's a BioShock reference or two in this chapter, if you can find them, you get a digital cookie made out of bragging rights.

Chapter 2: Universal

A day or two passed, Zim spent time in his new laboratory in the apartment building with limited materials. It was a small 8'x8' scale room with a window directly across from the doorway, a desk next to that window, and covered wooden boxes of Irken technology stacked in the corner. GIR walked in a lot less, due to the fact that there wasn't much in Zim's new laboratory that went 'BOOM'.

"What do we have, so far, Zim?" Kat asked as she walked into the room one afternoon.

"So far, all I've got is this," Zim held up something that looked like a tuba with a VCR attached to it, except the VCR had a big red button on the top.

"Wow! That's a nifty little craft project! So, do you have anything real?" said Kat.

"It's not a craft project, it's a D.E.P.R.O.S.A," said Zim, putting the instrument on the desk chair. "A Dark Energy Powered Random Object Spawning Apparatus."

"So, what, does it just throw stuff at people?" Kat asked.

"That is its main purpose," said Zim, twisting a knob on the top of the VCR device.

"Neat," said Kat.

"Very," four metal bands on the inside of the tuba popped out and met each other, creating a ball of unstable dark energy about the size of one's head at the meeting center.

"Do you have any control over what's supposed to pop out of that thing?" Kat asked.

"Absolutely not," Zim replied. "But I have perfect knowledge of what it will be." Zim tapped the VCR device, a banner of red text flickered on in the same sort of font as a digital alarm clock, it read, 'VIOLIN'.

"So, what triggers it?" Kat asked.

"Did you not see the shiny, pretty, candy-like red button?" said Zim, tapping the button.

Unfortunately, Zim tapped the button too quickly, and the energy ball wobbled out of the device, transforming almost immediately into a violin and hitting Kat in the squeedly-spooch.

"Faw!" Kat squeaked, keeling over.

"Sorry," said Zim, he looked over to the banner on the VCR, it now read 'TRUCK TIRE'. "That will be useful for some day."

"Indeed it will!" Kat shouted, and turned the D.E.P.R.O.S.A. toward Zim, then firing the truck tire into HIS squeedly-spooch, knocking him over.

"Ow," Zim grunted, rubbing his stomach in pain. "Where's that Hector human?"

"He's heating up some soup in the microwave," said Kat.

"Poor human, always having to rely on organic material to survive," said Zim pitifully.

"Oh, that's not anything to be ashamed of," said Kat, scratching her back. "Needing to wear these ridiculous back packs to stay alive is something to be ashamed of."

"Faw," said Zim.

In the kitchen, Hector hadn't even put the soup in the microwave. He was just poking it with his hands. After about a minute of doing this, the soup began to smoke, and Hector sucked it down in two gulps.

GIR's favorite program, the Scary Monkey Show, had been brought off the air after the crew decided that the monkey wasn't doing anything whenever they were filming; this was much to Zim's happiness, and GIR's disappointment.

Thus, GIR had to search through the channels to find something entertaining to watch.

The living room, across from the kitchen, had a carpet over a hard wood floor, and a couch up against a wall with a window, which faced the television.

GIR sadly scrolled through the channels, Mind-Crushing Anime, Penguins 24/7, TV City, Animated Television Show Programming Network, Back in the Kitchen, and the dreadful Nickelodeon. No channel had what he was looking for. GIR sighed, and went into the kitchen to make himself a taquito for dinner.

"Evening, GIR," said Hector as he put his bowl in the sink.

"Evenin'."

GIR opened the freezer next to the counter next to the sink and pulled out a microwaveable taquito. "Frosty one, you shall soon be edible!"

GIR opened up the microwave on the counter, and put the taquito in, he hadn't quite read the instructions on the box, so he just entered +One Minute on the microwave, the taquito heated for twelve seconds, until it began sizzling and eventually exploded right in GIR's face, sending him flying into the window.

"Wuzzat?" said Lee, springing from a peaceful sleep in one of the dining room chairs.

"WHEW! DO THAT AGAIN!" said GIR.

Hector picked up the microwave and looked inside, the taquito was nothing but black powder now, but something beneath the plate caught his eye. "Hey, Lee?"

"Yeah?" said Lee, getting up from his chair and having a look at the microwave.

"Do you know what that is?" Hector pointed to a black crystal-like formation beneath the plate with a dark purple glow around it.

"Not a clue," said Lee, he took the microwave from Hector's hands and put it on the dining table, then he lifted out the plate and the black ring beneath it and put it next to the microwave. "Probably something stupid."

"Huh?" said Hector. "Stupid? It blew up a taquito! That's- that's... that's very stupid."

"Quite," said Lee, he reached into the microwave and yanked the crystal-like object- which was stuck to it- out, and placed it on the top of the microwave. "Zim might want to see it, though."

"I'll bring it to him," said Hector. He picked up the crystal. "You can make GIR's taquito."

"Very well," said Lee. He went over to the freezer, opened it, and pulled out another frozen taquito.

Back in Zim's sad little laboratory, Zim was fixing up a sort of vitamin chamber that could be used to bring back the dead, when he heard someone walk into the room.

"Good day, Zim," said Hector, who was twirling a black crystal in his hands.

"Good day, earth child," said Zim, then he looked at the crystal. "What do you have there?"

"Something from the microwave," said Hector, he tossed the crystal to Zim. "Have a look at it."

Zim examined the crystal, it sounded faintly like it was singing some sort of lullaby. "Neat."

"Do you know what it is?" said Hector.

"It could be nothing more than a power source," said Zim. "However, I may have a look at it with the H.M.A.D."

"Suit yourself," said Hector, and he sat down in a chair. "I'm gonna take a nap."

Zim pulled a pair of cyberpunk-style goggles out of his PAK to study the crystal with.

After a minute or two of studying, Zim said, "Amazing... absolutely amazing-"

"What?" asked Hector, waking up from his attempt to nap.

"Well, Hector, it seems that this is much more than a mere power source, but a power source used for cross-dimensional travel!" said Zim, cue hopeful music stinger.

"But- how would a microwave hold such a thing?" said Hector, getting up from his chair.

"I have no idea- but it's remarkable that we ourselves would be trusted with the secret to multidimensional transportation!" Zim took a moment to breathe, despite the fact that he was an Irken, and did not need to breathe manually. "We could recruit an army of me! An army of GIR! We could bring weapons and treasures you couldn't even dream of back from different universes! WE COULD LEARN HOW TO POOP RAINBOWS!"

"Again with the rainbow-shitting," said Hector.

"Apologies," Zim muttered. "Either way, if this crystal is compatible with my vitamin chamber, I could fix it with the old hyperteleporter and send someone in to explore another universe, we just need either an idiot or someone who can't die."

"How about both?" asked Lee as he walked into the room.

"How about the next person who comes into my laboratory knocks next time?" Zim grumbled as he put down the crystal. "Yes, Lee, you will be the subject in this test of the cross-dimensional time portal."

"Magnificent," said Lee. "Is it up, yet?"

"No, I still need to apply parts of the hyperteleportation device to the vitamin chamber, because a crystal with this much power could crumple the hyperteleporter like tinfoil."

"Shall I place the crystal in the vitamin chamber, then?" Hector asked, taking the crystal off of Zim's desk.

"Of course," said Zim, he pointed to the battery compartment to the side of the vitamin chamber. "It doesn't need unscrewing or anything, it just pops right off."

Zim went to searching through the boxes for his hyperteleporter while Hector replaced the battery in the vitamin chamber.

Hector picked up the battery, which was a bar of uranium in a leak-proof stainless steel covering, and gently placed it on the windowsill, then he put the harmless crystal into the compartment.

Immediately, the vitamin chamber's harmless-looking shimmering water feel changed into a violent vortex of a portal.

"Uh, Zim?" Hector asked as he closed the compartment.

"Yes, Hector?" Zim asked, still looking for his hyperteleporter.

"What does this mean?" Hector pointed to the chamber.

Zim stared. "Apparently, the device is ready, the power source created a portal as well as powering cross-universal travel."

"But that's ridiculous! Wouldn't you need teleporter components for creating a portal?" said Lee.

"Unless you have the third most rare crystal in the multiverse, which we do, apparently."

"You don't sound as enthusiastic as one would expect," said Lee.

"Oh no, I'm appalled, I just don't want to release it and faint when I need to be watching it," said Zim, he walked up to the teleportation chamber and pressed a button on the side, pulling the door back and revealing the intangible energy-proof shield. He looked over to Lee. "Well, Lee, go right on in. You may want to take this."

Zim handed Lee a back pack-sized walky-talky with a single strap on the back, like a mail bag. "This is a Cross-Dimensional Communication Device, or the CD2, you will need it to come back home from wherever it is the portal will send you, just push the button on the side," Zim pointed to a gargantuan red button in between the speaker and the microphone that said 'GO HOME'.

Lee put the walky-talky on his back. "So... that's it? We're just gonna walk right into some random universe?"

Zim scoffed. "No, YOU'RE going to walk right into some random universe, I'm not going anywhere NEAR that thing!" with that, he hid behind a box of spare SIR Unit parts.

"Hector?" Lee asked.

"You're on your own, pal, 30 Rock is on and I'm not gonna miss it," said Hector, and he casually walked out of the room.

"Oh, you guys SUCK!" said Lee, and he stepped into the vortex portal, the door closed over the energy-proof shield and the vortex began taking molecules off of Lee's undead body and reconstructing them in another universe, as the last few molecules fell into the portal (the ones on his hand), the floating hand waved and disappeared into the void.

Inside the cross-dimensional hyperteleportation tunnel, Lee shot like a bullet through universe after universe, he heard voices in these universes and they faded as quickly as they came.

"...To city seventeen...-HUMAN MOON-...LASER ARROW...FUS RO DAH...this is only a bad dream...look Mr. Bubbles, it's an angel!"

Eventually, when Lee decided he had to do it himself, he hopped right out of the tunnel and flew into a tree. "Ow."

He had crushed the bark right from the tree, and landed on a limb of the tree, which broke, then landed on another, which broke, basically, he fell out of the tree and hit every branch on the way down.

When he had landed on the grass, he had twigs wedged in his face and quite a few leaves in his faded gray hair, when he thought he could speak again, he grunted, "Well, that sucked."

Lee got up and brushed himself off, he looked around, and understood that he was in a dense forest. He looked up and saw that in his teleportation, he had left a giant purple flare shooting into the sky. "The natives are going to go crazy on that one."

Lee adjusted his walky-talky and made sure it wasn't cracked. It turned out that it was made out of the same sort of material that the little black box was made out of on an airplane, thus explaining why it was so heavy.

Lee decided that he would take a walk and have a look at the life in this parallel universe, he saw a rabbit or two, a snake minding its business, and a chipmunk, then he realized, "Well, isn't this a load of bullshit, I'm still on earth Prime."

A distant alarm bell began ringing. Lee looked to where it might be, and saw the rooftops of a town in the distance.

"Oh, shoot," said Lee. "They saw the flare."

Lee punched the button on his walky-talky, and a voice command activated. "RETURN REQUESTED, PLEASE WAIT TEN MINUTES AS WE TRIANGULATE YOUR POSITION."

Lee sat down behind a tree. He passed the time by chipping away at a fallen limb with a Swiss army knife, and tossing the chips at another tree. This went on for three minutes, before he heard the sound of a horse approaching his tree. Odd, he expected a simple search party, if anything, to come his way.

Lee got up and got a better look at what was coming towards him. Six small horses and what seemed like a small child were coming his way. So, it was possible that he was in another universe, one of prodigies that can train horses to follow them, by the looks of it.

"Hello?" said a voice, a feminine one, coming from the search party, which was strange, as the small child seemed male. "Is anyone there?"

"I must apologize if I've disturbed anything," said Lee.

"Nothing's wrong, don't worry," said another voice. That must have meant he was in a drastically different universe, as it appeared horses could talk. "What- er, who are you?"

"My name is Lee Jefferson," said Lee.

"Lee?" said one of the voices as the horses got closer. "Weird name."

"Be polite, Rainbow Dash, he's probably from another culture," said another voice, which appeared to be coming from near the small child. "Are you a pony?"

"Err, no," said Lee. This land must have been run by ponies. "I don't exactly think you'd be happy to see me! I'm not a sight for sore eyes!"

"What are you talking about?" said one of the voices in a Southern accent. "I'm sure you're about as scary a creature as any of-"

The ponies stopped three feet away from Lee, and got a good look at the biped. He was twice the height of them, and he stood upright without arching his knees, there were thin appendages protruding from where his hooves should be that looked like claws, he didn't look like he had any ears (which he didn't, in fact, they were just holes in his head), his eyes had circuits protruding from the pupil and cracking his irises, bits of his face were missing and exposed his bone.

"Oh my..."

"I warned you," Lee replied.

"Sorry if this sounds rude," said a white pony with a curly purple mane. "But WHAT are you?"

"A reanimated corpse from another universe," said Lee. "Commonly, one would call me a zombie of sorts-"

"ZOMBIE you say?" said what Lee had thought was a small child, and turned out to be a baby dragon. "You're not going to eat us, are you?"

Lee lost his temper, "Oh, ALWAYS with the 'are you going to eat us' attitude, Dawn of the Dead and 28 Days Later give us such a bad name! We are a PEACEFUL people, who long only for COMPANIONSHIP, not BRAINS!"

Of course, Lee looked horrifying when he said this, he waved his arms like a maniac and a few of his fingers fell off, all of this while he was screaming.

"DON'T HURT ME!" said the dragon, and it hid behind its companion.

Lee cleared his throat. "Lost my cool, sorry, I just don't like stereotypes."

Lee picked up the fingers that fell off.

"Why do you need those?" said a winged blue pony with a rainbow-colored mane and tail.

"Need what?" Lee asked.

"Those!" the pony pointed to Lee's fingers. "What do you need them for?"

"How do you expect me to hold something without fingers?" Lee asked.

"Well, you do seem to be doing fine without them," said a purple pony with a dark blue mane.

"Yes- but it's very uncomfortable!" Lee pouted.

An antenna rose out of Lee's back pack. "RETURNING TO LAST VISITED LOCATION IN TWO MINUTES."

"What-" the white one began.

"I knew he was more than a zombie! HE'S AN ALIEN!" screamed the dragon. "GET HIM!"

"What?" Lee asked, hiding his back pack. "That's ridiculous! I mean, I work for the Irken empire, yes, but I'm not an-"

"He really is an alien!" said the purple one, noticing the Irken Empire band on Lee's arm.

"Oh, SHIT!" Lee said, and he began running.

"He's getting away!" said the dragon, ever-so-a-captain-obvious.

With that, the four ponies we mentioned, along with the pink one and the yellow one that were part of the group, ran right after Lee, with the dragon running at half the speed.

"Shitshitshitshit," said Lee.

"EXITING UNIVERSE IN SIXTY SECONDS, PLEASE BE SURE THAT YOU ARE AT LEAST SIXTY FEET AWAY FROM ANY OTHER ORGANISMS THAT ARE NOT INTENDED BE BROUGHT WITH YOU."

"TRIPLESHITS!" Lee screamed, and he picked up his pace to sprinting, so that his limbs made violent creaking noises as they moved.

"He's going back to the mother-ship!" said the blue one.

Lee came to a dead stop at a great chasm. "That's a cliff!"

"We have him cornered, break his back pack!" said the white one.

Lee looked behind him to see the angry group of misunderstanding ponies coming toward him, then he looked into the chasm. His bag began beeping. He pulled out an umbrella from a compartment in the bag and pointed it at the ponies. "I'm not afraid to use this!"

"What?" said the purple one.

"You're bluffing!" said the pink one.

"I am not!" said Lee, and he flicked the umbrella open. "Don't come any closer! You do NOT want to go where I'm going!"

"HYPERTELEPORTATION IN FIFTEEN..."

"This is gonna suck," said Lee, and jumped into the chasm with his umbrella, and it immediately fell out of his hand. "THIS IS REALLY GONNA SUCK!"

The dragon eventually ran up to the group of ponies, and bumped into one of them. "Oops."

The cliff that they were standing on was precarious, and not quite the most reinforced, therefore, when the dragon bumped into the ponies, the section of the cliff they were standing on cracked and broke off, and left the poor guilty dragon right at the edge of the cliff. "I AM SO SORRY!"

Before the yellow pony or the blue pony could remember to fly out of the chasm, Lee's back pack exploded, creating an enormous portal with a sixty foot radius, and vaporizing everyone in the chasm.

"Oh... my... goodness," said the dragon.

Back in Zim's laboratory, the portal chamber cracked and exploded, sending shards of glass and metal everywhere.

"Is it over?" said Zim, peeking over the box of SIR parts.

Lee had returned, and the giant walky-talky was missing from his back.

"I suppose you brought back something of value, Lee?" said Zim.

"Nothing," said Lee. "Everything was exactly the same- oh, wait, I remember, that universe was run by-"

The vortex portal reformed, and spat out the six ponies from the other universe, one at a time.

The portal moved violently as it spawned the interdimensional beings, one spawned on the desk, one spawned in a crate, one spawned falling from the ceiling, and the others spawned fairly normally.

"Aw, crap," said Lee.

Kat had been in the room as well, and saw the ponies spawn. "Aw, they're adorable!" she reached to pet the blue one, but it slapped her hand away. "Well, excuse me for adoring you."

"I'm just going to forget the fact that we just chased you through the Everfree forest and ask where in Equestria we are," said the blue one.

"Ah, Equestrians, just as I expected," said Zim, and he waved the yellow pony off of his desk to put down his indestructible computer, which was knocked into the wall.

"What do you mean, 'expected'?" said the white pony.

"We were merely testing multidimensional travel, ma'am," said Zim as his computer booted up. "Nothing quite so demonic as you would expect us to do."

The blue one perked up angrily. "Hey, You didn't answer my question! Where are we?"

"Earth," said Zim. "Planet earth, in the milky way galaxy, which orbits a yellow sun that has a couple billion years left in its lifespan."

"I know that, wise guy, where is everyone?"

"All around you, dear, earth is run by humans like myself!" said Lee. "Just, not quite as dead, and a lot dumber."

"That's horrible!" said the pony.

"Manners, Dash," said the purple one.

"So," said Zim, clapping his hands together in a polite manner after shutting his computer. "I believe introductions are in order, I am ZIM! Future slave driver of humanity and remover of Mars from this pathetic solar system, thank you very much."

"I am Lee Jefferson, his assistant in destruction of this solar system and eventual owner of Pluto's moon," said Lee.

"I am Kat, I have no idea who I am!" said Kat happily.

"Uh-huh," said the blue pony.

"Rainbow Dash, introduce yourself," said the purple pony.

The blue pony, apparently named Rainbow Dash, scoffed.

"Well, I guess you know who she is, now, I'm Twilight Sparkle, the one in the hat's Applejack, the pink one is Pinkie Pie, the white one is Rarity, and the yellow one with the wings is Fluttershy, how do you do?" the purple pony, named Twilight, extended her hoof to Zim to shake hands.

Zim hesitantly shook Twilight's hand. "I do well, thank you."

Now that that's over with, let's check on Dib, shall we?

Dib whistled happily as he sat on a log and roasted marshmallows over a roaring fire. "It's a good thing I've got that pocket campsite that I made a couple weeks ago!"

Then the thought bubble popped, and as Dib walked through a dense forest, he face-palmed. "Why did I forget to bring that?"

Well, that's depressing, so we're going to have to cut back to the main characters.

Lee picked up an empty soup can as he walked into the kitchen, he saw several bowls of soup that had been cooked to perfection and placed evenly along the dining table, making them was none other than Hector, who hadn't even put the microwave back.

"Evening, Hector," said Lee.

Hector, whose hand was hovering above the bowl of soup, creaked his head up to Lee. "Eh? Oh, evening, I was just making some soup for myself."

"Without a microwave?" said Lee.

"Haven't you ever heard of an oven?" Hector snapped.

"But Hector," Lee opened the oven to see that it was nothing more than a container, it didn't have a light bulb or any racks or heaters whatsoever. "We haven't fixed the oven yet."

"I ordered takeout," said Hector.

"But that's not-"

"SHUT UP!" Hector shouted madly.

"Okay."

"Well, I'm famished," said Kat as she walked into the room. "Ooh, soup!"

"Wait, Kat, that's not Irken brand-!" Hector said, but Kat was already eating the soup.

"Too hot," said Kat, her tongue was black like charcoal. "What did you cook this in, Hector? A volcano?"

"My bare hands," Hector muttered.

"Wuzzat?" Kat asked.

"Nothing."

-END CHAPTER-

A little slower, it is, but still too fast for my liking, at this rate, the fourth chapter could be the last one, so I'm going to go experimentally slower and slower until we have a decent nine chapters to finish the book with. Good evening.

I actually went back to watching the Invader ZIM series in mid-chapter, so expect things to get much more twisted yet much more badass some point in this one.

Chapter 3: Lee Eats Nanobots

Zim sat down on an armchair in the living room and opened an Irken newspaper, which completely hid his face from anything going on in front of him.

GIR sat on the couch in dog form, drooling like a- well, a dog, of course.

Then Twilight strolled in and looked at Zim. "Hey, Zim, do you have any hay or apples or something of the sort? All I can find is soup."

"INTRUDER!" GIR screamed, and he jumped out of his disguise with rocket launchers on his shoulders and his now red eyes covered with focused collapsible optics with small apertures ready to fire deadly lasers at any second.

"Um, can I help you?" Twilight asked.

"Put those away, GIR, she's with us," said Zim.

"Okaaay!" said GIR, his weaponry sank back into his shoulders and his eyes changed back to normal, then he ran up to Twilight and shook her hand- in this case, hoof- vigorously. "I'm GIR! I don't know what the G stands for, and I'm happy to turn you into a wedge of cheese at any day of the hour at your command!"

GIR's hand eventually popped off, stuck to Twilight's hoof. Twilight had her eyes closed at the moment, but it seemed more like she was trying to get GIR away from her.

"Can I have my hand back?" GIR asked.

Twilight opened her eyes, and looked at the metal hand attached to her hoof. "Sure," she tossed the hand at GIR, and it magnetically reattached.

"Oh, yes, Twilight, about your question," Zim leaned in. "No."

"Okay, then, guess I'll just have soup."

Then Rainbow Dash walked in. "Is the soup up for grabs?"

"Yes," Zim growled.

"Just checking to see if you were making a sculpture out of it or something," Rainbow Dash hovered off to the dining room table to eat some soup.

"Sculptures, out of soup," Zim muttered as he turned a page. "Preposterous."

"I don' know," said GIR. "I made a chair out of it once."

Zim threw his newspaper down. "You did not!"

"I did! I can show you!" said GIR.

Zim pointed at GIR in rage, "LIES!"

Hector hummed 'America, F*** Yeah' as he continued avidly cooking soup with his bare hands, this time a ball of fire escaped from his fingertips and went right into the soup; of course, he didn't let anyone see because he was going to use this power FOR JUSTICE and to go camping without matches.

When Rainbow Dash had a look at the soup-covered table, she pondered the chef's sanity and decided that she wouldn't eat the soup, due to the idea that Hector might have done something screwy to the soup and the fact that nobody sane can make so much soup without constantly muttering 'soup' at some point in the soup making process.

Then Vir walked in to the room with a cup of coffee in his hand. "Zim?"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Zim shouted.

"Where do we keep the cement remover? I believe I have welded a cup of coffee onto my hand."

"It's in the drawer, be careful not to slip on any soup," said Zim.

Vir walked carelessly into the kitchen, and searched through a drawer next to the oven for the cement removal paste.

Tak had cleared a space for herself to drink Irken whiskey to forget the ridiculous day that happened so many hours ago, then Twilight sat next to her.

"Eh? Good day, earth thing," said Tak, and she took a swig from her glass.

"What are you drinking?" asked Twilight.

"Super happy fun juice," said Tak. "You can call it whiskey, though."

"I'll pass," Twilight muttered, and she went to eating soup.

"Magnificent SOUP!" Hector shouted, tossing a bowl of soup out the window. "GO FORTH AND DISCOVER YOUR DESTINY!"

Meanwhile, outside of the apartment, Dib was getting off of a bus. "Well, it's a good thing that I had my city bus pass and this isn't another hallucination," Dib looked both ways, and smiled. "All right."

A bowl of soup landed on Dib's head. "EEYAAAGH! I'M BLIND!"

"...And that's why I shall never eat oatmeal again," said Zim, who was sitting at the dining room table with his newspaper.

Everyone had been fiddling with something at the time, Zim was fiddling with a newspaper, Hector was fiddling with fire, Tak was fiddling with alcohol, Twilight was psycho-kinetically fiddling with a spoon in order to eat soup, and GIR was just plain fiddling, pretty well, too.

"How's this one, Zim? Da da da da da, da da da da da, da da da da da da da da, da da da da da, da da da da da, da da da da da da da DA DA," GIR played these 'notes' on the fiddle.

"Needs work, better than the last one, though," said Zim, he crumpled his newspaper. "Anyhow..."

Zim threw his newspaper like a football into GIR's face, crushing his fiddle.

"That REALLY hurt!" said GIR happily.

"Too right, it did," said Zim. "God, I hate reading the paper."

"Where did you get all this soup, anyway?" said Kat, feasting on her third bowl. "It tastes like crap."

"Why do you continue to eat it, then?" Zim asked.

"I don't know-"

"It's got adrenaline and coke in it!" said GIR happily.

"Oh, yeah, that's probably why," said Kat, and she guzzled the soup down faster than before.

Twilight pushed her half-eaten soup away from herself hesitantly. "I think I'll just have a sandwich."

"You sure you don't want some happy juice? It'll make ALL your troubles go away," Tak hiccuped. "Trust me."

"No, thank you," said Twilight, and she swiftly created a rough sandwich and went over to the deck.

Tak picked up her bottle. "More for the rest of us, eh, Mr. Whiskey?" she passed out.

"Now, I'm going to go out and test the D.E.P.R.O.S.A. Hector, Tak, watch the ponies and make sure they don't do anything stupid," said Zim, and he picked the D.E.P.R.O.S.A. up from under his chair, dragged GIR out of his sitting spot and left out the front door.

"Shut up," said Tak drunkenly, waking up from her quick period of unconsciousness.

Pinkie Pie slowly stuck her head in the path of the kitchen doorway. "Cupcakes, anyone?"

Hector drew his attention from his soup. "Cupcakes? But all we have here is soup and the distorted surgically removed stillborn flesh of the clones Zim attempted to create and didn't get a chance to liv- oh, I see what you're getting at. I'd love one."

"You, Kat?"

"HECK yes!"

"Tak, would you like one? They're to DIE for!" said Pinkie Pie maniacally.

"WHO ARE YOU?" Tak screamed drunkenly, and she threw one of her bottles at Pinkie Pie, missing.

Hector raised an eyebrow. "Wait a minute, why do we have two kitchens?"

"Because I brought one with me!" said Pinkie Pie insanely, and her head went straight back into the secondary kitchen.

"Wait, does that count as something stupid?" Tak asked.

"Well, we have too much soup to make for an army, and Zim's clones didn't really have anything to live for," said Hector.

"No, I mean, adding a second kitchen," said Tak, somehow sobering up fairly quickly.

Hector pondered for a moment as he spun a fork with his two index fingers. "You know, I actually think that's a good idea with a house of seventeen... beings- that eat food."

"I did something good! YEAH!" said Pinkie Pie, she apparently fist-pumped, as a crunch could be heard from the secondary kitchen.

"MOTHERF-!" screamed the voice of Cthulhu.

"Sorry," said Pinkie Pie.

"Daw, why would I stay mad at you?" Cthulhu's question was answered when he was thrown out the window at the speed of a bullet.

"GO BACK TO RY'LEH!" Pinkie Pie shouted.

"Yes, ma'am," said Cthulhu.

Back outside the apartment, where Zim had taken GIR to experiment with the D.E.P.R.O.S.A, the two were intercepted by the good ol' interfering Dib human.

"What's that you got there, Zim? A tuba with a VCR stuck to it?" Dib asked, examining the device Zim had with him as he goose-stepped to the area in which he planned to test the D.E.P.R.O.S.A.

"No, Dib, it is a MAGNIFICENT machine used to shoot stuff at people," said Zim. "Any kind of stuff, created by dark energy inside military-grade Meekrob energy-to-matter conversion tapes. Anyway, I will NEVER tell you what it does!"

"You just did," said Dib, examining the device with persistent annoyance.

Zim shoved Dib out of his way and continued moving.

Dib quickly stood up. "Converting energy to matter, huh? That would be a nice piece of technology for-" Dib jumped on top of the device cartoonishly and attempted to remove the power source on top. "Earth- sciences- man, that's really in there."

"We use spray-on cement," said Zim, then he tossed Dib into a pile of garbage. "Now leave me alone, human filth, this is merely a test run."

"But I don't want to go to school tomorrow," said Dib drunkenly, exposed to toxic fumes from the garbage.

Zim looked at Dib, and let out a simple "ha" of surprise, then he continued walking with GIR at his heels. "GIR, I want you to record this moment, 'Dib human actually stops resisting for a few seconds'."

GIR drew an artistic image of Zim throwing Dib into a garbage bin at high speed, then gave Zim the thumbs up and incinerated it in his stomach.

"Mommy, is that you?" said Dib as Zim and GIR left the scene. "No, mommy, I don't want to come into the light!"

"Hey, what do you know! There is something other than soup in here after all!" said Rainbow Dash, who was inspecting the upper pantry, and pulled out a small tin canister of liquid with Zim's custom Irken symbol on the large label, then she read the title label. "INBPT-17, never mind, it's probably just vinegar or something." Rainbow Dash tossed the canister onto the table, where it rolled into Lee's path, and continued searching.

"Aw yeah! I'm all about vinegar!" Lee said, and he popped the tin lid right off of the cylinder.

"WHAT-ARE-YOU-DOING-WE-DON'T-KNOW-WHAT-THAT-" Tak screamed before Lee emptied the contents of the container into his mouth.

Lee's head let out a hiss, and made a noise like a giant door creaking open, along with a loud alarm bell like several much smaller alarm bells, then a load of clicks, and the sound of wires stretching and a rubbery snapping noise.

"Well, that didn't hurt a bit, I guess I'll just finish this sentence without an unconventional inter-HAAARGH!" Lee jumped out of his chair and doubled over, screaming in pain as invisible blades made loud slicing noises in his rotting flesh.

"Well, he doesn't sound happy, does he?" said Hector, who had finally stopped making soup and was standing next to Rainbow Dash.

"No, no he doesn't," she replied, horrified.

Lee's right hand, which was exposed bone, was covered in a metal shroud like liquid, the space around his missing left eye was replaced with a shining red ocular implant surrounded by a pearly white metal material. His chest area, which had a direct hole right through it, was sealed in a black metal material, and grew three shining red and black metallic tentacles out of his back. "MY... GOD THAT HURTS!"

"Easy, now!" said Tak, exaggerating her British accent. "Your genetic code is being rewritten! Just hold on and everything will be fine!"

Lee screamed in pain and fell to the ground.

Everyone stood still for a moment while they waited for Lee to recover.

"HEY! Why does HE get replacement organs and I don't even get a stinking memory?" said Kat angrily, breaking the silence. "Not fair."

Zim and GIR were throwing large objects at passing civilians without a care in the world. "Isn't this WONDERFUL, GIR? We haven't had a day like this since we got our hands on that box of mutant earth vermin!"

"I miss my sammich," said GIR sadly.

"When we're done with this, GIR, you can be the LORD OF SANDWICHES!" said Zim triumphantly.

"YAAAY!" GIR cried, and he hugged Zim, causing him to miss his target of a kitten and bean a police officer right in between the eyes with a bowling ball, breaking his nose.

Zim slowly lowered the D.E.P.R.O.S.A. after realizing what he had just done. "Oh... poop."

"RABBLEROUSERS!" said the policeman, pointing with one hand as he held a handy napkin to his face with the other.

"GIR, get off me, I'll yell at you after we're finished running away," said Zim.

"Okay," said GIR happily as the officer approached the two of them with a night stick. "When are we running?"

"Now," said Zim, he grabbed GIR and used one of the mechanical legs from his PAK to hold on to the D.E.P.R.O.S.A. "Right now."

"GET 'EM!" screamed the officer, and three police cars immediately rammed into the group of three.

"JET PACK MODE, GIR! JET PACK MODE, AND DON'T TELL ME YOU MADE ROOM FOR TUNA!" Zim screeched. GIR obliged and activated his rocket boosters, Zim hopped on and GIR flew up a wall before the police cars could crush them.

A police helicopter chased the two as GIR shot through the sky, creating a stream of red smoke.

Zim shot random objects at the helicopter as GIR headed toward the apartment building to try to lose the police. "Rockets, ROCKETS, WHY CAN'T THIS THING THROW ROCKETS?"

GIR turned a corner into a junkyard area where his insane little mind thought that the helicopter wouldn't be able to follow him through.

"Excellent work, GIR! I can find materials for a rocket in the junkyard!" said Zim.

"Materials? But I was just gonna fly through the mashers!" said GIR, and with that, he dive-bombed into an area full of garbage crushers.

"What? NOOOO!" Zim cried. The helicopter pilot must have been crazy, as he indeed followed GIR, through the car compactor, in and out of the secondary car compactor, through an area of spike crushers which Zim and the copilot thought were pointless, and finally, down into the incinerator room.

"GIR, go back! We can just shoot lasers at them! I should have thought of that before!"

"Pretty light..." GIR said, hypnotized by the heat-enhanced light coming from the incinerator room.

GIR dove into the incinerator. The helicopter dove after him, only to be stopped by the door, which smashed the helicopter's nose, causing it to explode.

Zim had a look behind him at the destroyed helicopter as it fell daintily into the incineration chamber below. "Good work, GIR, they won't know what hit- SWEET CORN IN AN ICE CUBE TRAY LOOK OUT FOR THAT CAR!"

This was a very dysfunctional incineration pit within a junkyard, and therefore was incapable of executing certain tasks in its garbage-burning queue. This was why a compacted car had been thrown off of the conveyer belt overhead and was right on a collision course with GIR's face.

"TASTY CANDY CAR!" said GIR maniacally, and he opened his mouth to the point where it was as wide as a garbage truck, and ate the compacted car in one bite.

Zim screamed a cry of success. "Excellent work, GIR! Remind me to feed you on the way home."

Tak, Kat, Rainbow Dash, and Hector played a game of go-fish while they waited for Lee to stop vomiting gray paste.

"Dash, got any queens?" said Hector.

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash replied, and she handed Hector a queen of spades.

"Tak, do you have any aces?"

"Go fish."

A distant scream could be heard from outside, it got exponentially louder until Zim and GIR (who had a taco in his mouth) shot through the window and crashed into the wall.

"Oh, hi, Zim, how's it hangi-BAAAAWWWW," Lee threw out a slightly smaller quantity of the gray paste than before, then he coughed, and the last of the gray paste popped out of his stomach. "Guh, I feel like every bone in my body was liquefied and replaced at hyper speed with one made out of metal."

There was an oven "DING" noise from Lee's stomach.

A feminine artificial intelligence voice coming from Lee's ocular implant said, "Life form reconstruction process successful."

"Coooool, is there any more of that?" said Rainbow Dash, picking up and looking inside of the container, then growling and tossing the canister at Lee's head. "You drank it all, you idiot!"

"Trust me, dear, the experience isn't what I would call... pleasureful," Lee muttered as he went to look for the mop to get rid of his melted bones.

"I know, but those things on your back look so cool!"

"P'shaw, they're probably just there for theatrics," Lee picked up the mop in the corner of the room, only for a tentacle on his back to snap the thing in half.

"Hey! That's brand new!" said Zim.

"Sorry," said Lee. "I didn't think that would actually happen."

The extra arms stretched into the puddle on the floor and vacuumed it into a chamber full of acid, leaving the floor spotless.

"...Or that," said Lee.

"Well, Lee, I must thank you for testing Irken NanoBot ProtoType 17," said Zim, he snatched the canister from the floor and read the back. "But you probably should read it a little more thoroughly next time, as it clearly states in Irken writing that nanobots replicate very quickly, and therefore a syringe full or an eyedropper full would result in a much less HORRIBLY PAINFUL reaction, yet at the same time a reaction just as FAST as the one you got from drinking the entire CANISTER!" Zim tossed the canister at the jamb of the door way.

Just then, Pinkie Pie poked her head in again, "Hey, do cupcakes and ice cream always scream in horror in this universe?" the tin canister made contact with the pony's face, and she enthusiastically said, "I guess that's a yes!"

"How did she make ice cream?" said Zim.

"I think there was that big box of experimental heat-proof snow and a giant chunk of crystal meth in the fridge that I brought with me," said Kat.

"You're a junkie, Kat," said Tak.

"Well, if I can't remember anything, I might as well fill my head with memories of my best friend Abraham Lincoln and his brother Luke Skywalker going on a five year adventure through time and space on a giant metal fedora," said Kat. "And you're one to talk, how's Mister Whiskey?"

"Delicious and friendly," said Tak, and with that, she took another swig from her bottle.

"Very well," said Kat.

GIR struggled to pull his metallic head out of the huge hole in the wall that it created.

"Oh, bloody hell," said Tak, and she yanked GIR out of the hole, accidentally throwing him across the table (breaking several bowls of soup) and into the wall.

"Thanks, lady!" said GIR, and he hopped out of his dog disguise.

"Don't mention it," Tak passed out.

"Hang on... Irkens don't even have livers! How can they get drunk?" said Hector.

"Alcohol increases happiness level in the squeedly-spooch, creating a maniacal effect similar to being drunk, except you're a lot happier," said Zim. "Eventually, you get so happy that you pass out, and frolic in a beautiful world of pure happiness inside your brain for a while."

"Lucky bastards," Hector muttered. "All I can use alcohol for is making Molotov cocktails."

"Eh?" said Zim.

"Nothing."

Meanwhile, Dib recovered from his visit to New York City Trash Chemical Land, and stumbled toward a nearby apartment building where he suspected Zim had escaped into earlier.

He began yelling at the building, "You wont get away with this, Zim! I'll make you pay! I'll personally vivisect you while your robot friend is dismantled right next to you! I'll have your zombie friend put to rest in the grave where he belongs! I'll- I'll- pass out right on this road."

Dib did as he claimed, and fell right asleep in the middle of the street which was miraculously vacant at the moment- possibly only for another fifteen seconds.

As a matter of fact, here comes a car now, except this was a different car, the car was black with tinted windows, and if this were something on television or in a theater and not a story, the head lights would theatrically block out the screen all mysterious-like.

-CHAPTER END-

A warning, this chapter isn't funny.

Beta-read by skullcrusher206

-Chapter 4: Then the Government Got Involved-

Dib was brought with the owners of the car that had approached him at the end of the last chapter. The owners asked him to get into the trunk for his safety, and Dib hesitantly obliged.

When the car stopped inside of a parking structure, he was brought out of the trunk and confronted with another car, given the same instructions as before.

The car traveled the same length as before, and stopped inside another parking structure, Dib was given the same instructions as before, and this went on until Dib stopped counting and began wondering what the hell was going on.

Dib knew that this great exchange had come to a halt when he was taken out of the trunk and he couldn't see any other car besides the one he had been in. He knew very well that he was underground as well, as he saw no light other than the bulbs on the ceiling.

"Follow me," said the man who had driven Dib to this area, and he walked over to a door in the general corner of the room. This man was obviously with some official branch of the government, which crashed Dib's metaphorical train of suspicions into a metaphorical brick wall.

Dib followed the man with great enthusiasm toward the door. "You know about the aliens?"

"'Aliens' is a very simple term to describe them by, like how some dork who only paid attention to the ending of the last Indiana Jones movie would call those guys aliens," said the man.

"Don't even get me started on that! I hated that movie!" said Dib as the man put his hand on the door's handlebar.

The man turned around and looked at the boy disapprovingly, then he opened the door to reveal a room bathed in an eerie red light. Dib could make out three shapes in the room, but couldn't quite understand what they were. One of them was about a fourth the size of the other two.

"We can't exactly turn any actual lights on in this room, unless you think you can comprehend something beyond human... uh... comprehension, what you see may shock you," said the man, who now appeared as a black outline.

"I've seen aliens, giant lice monsters, the inside of my own head, and planets used as space vessels, I think I can handle it," said Dib.

Strangely, the man simply nodded, "Very well," he flicked a light switch.

The fluorescent lights on the ceiling flickered on. The room Dib was in had a very cold, white feel to it, the shapes he saw earlier were, as an understatement, shocking to see in full.

Of course, these were just ponies and a baby dragon, but they just looked strange from Dib's perspective.

One pony was a gray cross-eyed Pegasus with a yellow mane, and the other was a white unicorn with a blue-and-cyan mane that reminded Dib lightly of electricity, it also appeared she was wearing headphones and sunglasses.

The baby dragon looked like how Dib would expect a baby dragon to look, just not quite as intimidating. Less intimidating than a four-week-old kitten, in fact.

"You're serious?" said Dib, looking at the man next to him. "You're absolutely serious? This is all you had to show me? Ponies and some dog in a dragon costume?"

"DOG?" said the baby dragon, Dib jumped.

"A little boy, then?" said Dib worriedly.

The dragon glared at Dib.

Finally, the white pony snorted and laughed. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't hold it in, your reaction was hilarious!"

"Animatronics!" said Dib, glaring at the man. "I know this is a joke!"

"There's no place for jokes here, son, that dragon breathes real fire, that Pegasus can indeed fly, and that unicorn... DJ's..."

"DJ's?" said Dib.

"That's what we found her doing," said the man. "When we found her, she was fooling around with a turntable on top of the Empire State building."

"And the Pegasus?" said Dib, deciding to play along with this joke.

"She sorta got hit by an airplane, didn't you hear about the crash?" the man looked at Dib questioningly.

"I was out cold for anything that happened an hour ago," said Dib.

The man sighed. "Tell me, Dib, if you can, do you know anything about the multiverse? Life beyond the stars? The ability to shit rainb-?"

"TOO DEEP!" shouted the dragon. "That's FAR TOO DEEP, this is a humor story after all."

"Shut up!" the man hissed at the dragon. "The military is still on my ass for taking you into custody, if you were to be a decible too loud, we would all be FUCKIN' SCREWED!"

The lights went red again, then flickered off.

"Motherf-" the man began, but was interrupted by the sound of a sharp blow to the head.

"Four more! Get 'em on the ground!" said a deep voice.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" shouted the voice of the unicorn.

There was a sharp "plink" noise, Dib recognized this as the sound of a tranquilizer gun, then the sound of a body hitting the floor.

"I'm a hostage! I'm a hostage!" Dib shouted, and he ran for the door, but he was tackled to the ground and handcuffed.

"Don't shoot! I'll come quietly!" said the voice of the dragon, but he was also hit with a tranquilizer, and there was the sound of a lighter body hitting the floor.

"That everyone?" said a voice.

"Hang on, there's one more," said the deep voice from earlier.

There was the sound of frantic movement, then the loud thump of someone banging their head. "Oww..."

"Are you awake?" said one of the voices from earlier.

"Yeah," said the nasally voice of the one who had hurt their head, obviously the cross-eyed Pegasus.

There was the clicking of an empty chamber. "Fuck, out of darts, hold still please."

"Oka-" there was a loud smack.

"She's out."

"Good, let's get 'em over to Washington for questioning."

A napkin full of ether was put to Dib's mouth, and the last words he could hear were, "Well, that's a waste of good hand cuffs..."

When Dib woke up, he was in a chair in a room tinged with blue light, across from him was the source of the blue light, a room that was separated by a thick layer of shatterproof glass, something peculiar about this room was that it had a blue apparatus that looked like four giant pre-drill bits protruding from a generator each. In front of this strange device was a chair with headphones attached to it that were connected with cables to the generators.

Dib overheard conversation from behind him.

"So, you really think that those things we got over in New York are aliens?" said a gruff voice.

"I am ninety-eight percent sure, and if not aliens, the result of a cross-dimensional 'hiccup', so to speak," a higher-pitched voice replied.

Someone implicitly walked into the room, along with a heavy piece of machinery on wheels.

"So what do we have?" said the higher-pitched voice.

"Everyone's clean," said a slightly lower-pitched voice. "No radiation on any of them, but it seems that this 'unicorn' can withstand a significant level of WPS."

"How significant?"

"I don't know, the machine broke when it surpassed five hundred, we're going to bring her into the test chamber as soon as we can," the man picked up a piece of paper. "Subject name, Vinyl Scratch, ethnicity, unknown, species, 'unicorn', subject number..." the man flipped the paper over. "Two."

"She's only the second person to test this equipment?" said the gruff voice.

"Third, we count zero now," said the man.

"When will we be sending her in?" said the high voice.

"A-sap, we need results as quickly as possible, as soon as we get the DAD working, she can just walk right in when she's ready."

There was the sound of a small horse trotting into the room. "All right, I'm here."

"They're waiting for you, Vinyl, in the test chamberrrr," said the man.

"Something wrong?" said the pony.

"I'm having a seizurrrre, I think it's the lighting from the test chamberrrr, I'm gonna go to the doctorrrr."

The man walked out of the room.

"Where's the entrance?" said the pony.

There was the light noise of a coat shifting, possibly someone pointing their finger to the door into the room that Dib only just noticed, next to the control panel that was up against the wall.

"Thanks," said the pony, and she walked over to the door, Dib recognized her as the unicorn from earlier.

When the pony had gone through the door, a thick blast door closed behind her.

"Right, let's get the amplifier up and running," said the man with the higher-pitched voice, he walked over to the control panel and scanned his retinas.

"Excuse me," said Dib.

The scientist turned to Dib. "What?"

"Why am I here?"

"You were the only one who we could sit down conventionally, we'll let you out in a few moments, your specimen has been processed, and we haven't found any supernatural elements on you, you'll have your mind wiped clean after this test, I'm sure your loved ones can fill you in."

"Fine," said Dib. "I'll just sit here and enjoy the science."

The scientist nodded, then he put a key into the key hole that was uncovered from the retina scan, and turned it.

"Engaging test zero zero zero two of the Dubstep Amplification Device, date August twenty-nine, two-thousand and twelve, subject name, Vinyl Scratch, subject ethnicity, unknown, subject species, inter-planetary."

Vinyl Scratch walked over to the chair in front of the generators and stood on top of it while also getting the headphones on her head with one swift motion.

"Are you with us, Miss Scratch?" said the scientist over the intercom.

Vinyl nodded irritably.

"Very well, engaging," the scientist pushed a button on the control panel. (Sure are a lot of switches to that damn thing, eh?)

The towering pre-drill bits attached to the generators slowly began to spin.

"Beginning at two wubs per second," said the scientist, turning a knob on the control panel very slightly.

Dib heard a rhythmic whirring noise coming from the device.

The scientist picked up a clipboard and began taking notes, Vinyl's expression didn't change much, she just bobbed her head a bit.

"Increasing exponentially to four wubs per second," said the scientist, turning the knob slightly more.

The rhythmic whirring went faster than earlier, Vinyl bobbed her head a bit faster, nothing much more.

"Increasing to sixteen wubs per second," said the scientist, turning the knob a millimeter, the beat went much faster now, it was starting to become catchy.

Vinyl waved her arms at the scientist, implying for him to pick up the pace.

The scientist turned the knob about a centimeter. "Increasing to a hundred-twenty-eight wubs per second."

The tune was now becoming very catchy, the whirring becoming a soft hum, but a greater beat coming from beyond the wubs.

Dib himself began bobbing his head to this faint noise in a similar fashion to Vinyl.

The scientist cranked the enormous knob about a decimeter and twenty-eight millimeters. "Stabilizing at a safe two-thousand and forty-eight wubs per second."

Dib jumped out of his chair and walked quickly up to the control panel. "I did not get dragged all this way for SAFETY, doctor!" Dib pushed the scientist out of the way and cranked the knob to maximum capacity- nine thousand and one wubs per second.

"You fool! You don't understand the power of this machine, and now IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAND!" the scientist ran up to the control panel.

Vinyl Scratch, on the other hand, was really bobbing her head to this beat now, so very violently that it looked like her head would fall off of her neck.

"Are you still with us, Vinyl?" said the scientist.

Vinyl Scratch tilted her head, and half-removed one of her head phones.

The shatterproof glass then did something humanly impossible- it shattered.

And man did it shatter, it broke into fragments the size of snowflakes, pure unfiltered dubstep streamed fluidly into the room, its power threw the scientist into the wall, unconscious, but Dib was able to withstand it, he walked slowly to the control panel to turn down the power.

Then it dropped.

The force of this dropping of the bass caused every light in the facility to break, every piece of working machinery exploded, cyan numbers and audio fragments flew through the air, all weaponry in their paths turned a similar color, every unfortunate scientist and soldier in the path of this stream of uninterrupted dubstep was vaporized into green and black glowing dust.

"IT'S BEAUTIFUL!" Dib screamed as the continuous dubstep beam grazed his hair.

"ISN'T IT?" Vinyl replied.

The dubstep bounced off of mirrors (leaving substantial cracks) and recreated every weapon in its path, leaving these weapons glowing cyan-and-green and sparking with electricity.

Eventually, the dubstep flew out of whatever facility they were in and off to parts unknown.

Dib casually walked into the test chamber through the window, as every piece of glass had been crushed into sand. "Should we leave now? I don't think this place is going to stay... quiet- much longer."

"Let me just take one of these things with me," said Vinyl, she turned to one of the generators near the chair and quickly disassembled it with telekinesis, then she put the parts together in the form of a manageable glass-looking glowing cube the size of a human fist.

A quick skip through time brings us to the room where the baby dragon and the pegasus are held, Dib used his head as a battering ram to get the unlocked door open.

"Evening," said the Pegasus dreamily as the baby dragon woke up.

"Morning," said Dib. A faint Klaxon could be heard behind him. "We better go now, pretty soon Mind Heist is going to start playing and we'll have to go along with the tune."

"Right behind you," said the baby dragon drowsily, and he hopped off of the chair he was sleeping in.

-CHAPTER END-

Chapter 5: No Comment

Far from the facility, a charred escape pod flew through space at the speed of a bullet. Of course, this escape pod had been traveling through space for about half a week, so a bullet was far too slow for the occupants, Tim and Lard Nar.

Lard Nar spent most of this trip bouncing a chunk of rubbery debris off of the wall of the escape pod, because of this, his right hand was now very, very sore, the lights were very dim, except for the light coming from the iPod (old one, not the fingerprint-magnet touch screen one) that Tim stole from Almighty Tallest Red.

The camera, of course, is not facing into the screen of the iPod, it's facing Tim and Lard Nar's faces.

There was a yellow light on Tim's face, then a pink one, then a cyan one, Tim was smiling gleefully.

Finally, after nearly four days, Lard Nar stopped bouncing the debris off the wall and turned to look at Tim, thus causing the highly-charged momentum of the debris to bounce back and hit Lard Nar in the cheek.

"What are you watching, Tim?"

Tim, somewhat fazed by what he was watching, showed the iPod to Lard Nar, who swatted the thing to the ground after a second.

"That's not RIGHT, Tim, that's just not RIGHT, what you're watching," said Lard Nar.

"Well, I got nothing better to do," said Tim. "I mean, all that's on that device other than those... clips... is sound bites under the titles of "DUBSTEP" and "CLASSICAL" and "SOUNDTRACK", what the heck is SOUNDTRACK supposed to mean?"

Lard Nar paused in the middle of picking up his chunk of rubbery debris that was keeping him occupied through this ride. "...Um, a track... of... sound?"

Tim glared at Lard Nar. "Very creative, numb-nuts."

"Oh, screw you, GIMME DAT!" Lard Nar snatched the iPod from Tim's hand and played a random song, then he tossed it at the wall, breaking it. "Now we both have to suffer."

Both fortunately and unfortunately, the iPod began clicking, then it released something of a distorted alarm noise, then some quick-moving drums, and the escape pod shot through space at warp-12 speed.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHY HAVE WE LOST CONTROW-ALL?" Lard Nar screamed wide-eyed as he was pressed against the "ceiling" of the escape pod, Tim was not, however, because he had the good mind to wear a seat belt.

"What control?" said Tim. "And why are you yelling? The rockets aren't making any noise, there's no sound in space."

Lard Nar's pupils went back to normal scale. "Oh, good point, uh, I guess this isn't bad, so, FORWARD, MISTER ESCAPE POD, FORWARD TO ZIM!"

"YEAAAAH! I'M AN ESCAPE POD!" screamed the escape pod's infected computer as it shot through space, the camera focuses on the moon of a nearby planet, then the scene shifts to the earth's moon as seen from earth.

A Boeing 747 passes by this moon, leaving a cloud of smoke in its wake.

"THAT'S IT, BITCHES, WE'RE GOIN' TO HELL!" said Dib maniacally as the plane flew into the ground.

"AWWW YEAH, BASS BATTLE WITH SATAN!" screamed Vinyl (from the passenger seat) in an even more maniacal tone.

Spike screamed from one of the flight seats, "I DON'T WANNA DIE!"

Meanwhile, back in the apartment, Lee whistled cheerily as he brought out a pile of copper pots and dragged some poor soul's kitchen sink behind him onto the roof of the apartment building, then he looked up. "Oh, right."

Lee dropped everything and ran back to an area off-screen, then he came back to the on-camera area whilst dragging Rainbow Dash by her right wing with one of the claws on his metal tentacles.

Rainbow Dash snatched her wing away from Lee's IRON FIST and glared at the freak of nature and science. "What do you want?"

"I want you to fly up into those clouds up there-" Lee pointed to the sky, "-and make a thunder storm."

Now, one may infer that little Dashie didn't know much about science, but a weather pony would know that washing copper pots in salt water during a lightning storm was definitely the mark of a death wish, either that or just the need to literally explode.

"Aw YEAH!" said Rainbow Dash, "Okay, mister risk-taker, I accept your challenge."

"Good, now make sure that it is directly above the sink, got it?" Lee asked, staring deep into the Pegasus' eyes like some kind of obsessive toddler.

"Yep, hope you like feeling like you just injected sixteen hundred gallons of caffeine into your body with a non-sterilized needle," Rainbow Dash flew into the air, leaving a spectral trail behind her.

At the same time, an airplane was on a path leading directly into the roof of Loctat Knight Apartments.

"YA BETTER GET READY TO DIE, SPIKE!" said Dib, again maniacally.

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU TWO!" Spike screamed, he was about to jump out of the plane, then he turned to Derpy, who was picking at a hard-as-a-rock airline muffin. "Derpy, for crying out loud, INTERVENE!"

"I'm hungry, be quiet!" Derpy said, and she continued attempting to consume her muffin.

"I'm not ready to die!" said Spike. "WHAT WAS IN THAT GINGER ALE?"

Before long, Lee was washing copper pots, eventually, out of his peripheral vision, the clouds above began parting for a dark shape.

Up above, Rainbow Dash saw this abomination, a giant metal object, which looked like a poor impersonation of a bird, with thrusters under the "wings."

"Is this some kind of joke?" said Rainbow Dash. "Nobody here can just take the time to grow wings, they just build a machine to do all the work? I'm mad now, so mad, actually, that I think I'm going to punch the air, right... about... NOW."

Rainbow Dash punched what she thought would be an empty area of air molecules, but at that very split second, Lard Nar's escape pod (which was playing upbeat music) made its way into the path of her hoof.

"OW, JEEZ, THE AIR HERE REALLY FLIPPIN' HURTS!" Rainbow Dash rubbed her hoof in pain.

Inside the escape pod, Lard Nar and Tim sensed that their flight to earth had been intercepted by some flying object, and therefore, their originally planned destination would not be the one they would be hitting, rather, the Empire freakin' State Building.

"Well, that stinks," said Lard Nar.

"Indeed it does," Tim replied.

"WOO! HERE WE COME, HADES, I'M COMIN' FOR YA!" said Vinyl mania- okay, I've used that far too much, CRAZILY, that's it, said Vinyl CRAZILY.

"That's... NO... LIGHTNING BOLT!" Lee screamed when he realized that the plane was on a collision course with his head. "But instead of escaping, I'm just gonna stand here and look at the harbinger of my doom in awe instead of escaping like any smart person would do."

And so he did.

"THE REAPER! I CAN SEE HIM! GET ME OUTTA HERE!" Spike screamed as he tried to wrench one of the windows off of the side of the plane, he recited a list of steps to himself.

"Step one, carefully remove lever," Spike removed a lever from the side of the window, the window was then loosened, and wobbled with distorted wind noises coming from outside. "Step two, remove the window," Spike punched a hole through the window, creating a wind vacuum that sucked the rest of the window into the sky. "Step three, stand still and think about what you just did," Spike paused, the silence only being broken by the wind coming through the window. "Oh... crud."

The plane crashed directly into Lee's head, nose area going straight between his eyes, crushing whatever was left of his own nose. He kept everything else from going to hell by using two of his tentacles to hold the plane in place while one of them stuck itself to the ground.

"Ow," Lee said, muffled.

"I'm free, suckers!" said Spike, he jumped out of the airplane window and landed on his face a few yards from Lee.

Lee shook the plane like a cereal box to get the remaining three occupants out through the main doorway, first came Derpy, then came Vinyl, and after breaking the plane in two, Dib popped out of the air vehicle as well.

"Good work, Lee, now throw that thing at the water tower!" said Rainbow Dash, muffled through the clouds.

"FUCK PLANES!" Lee screamed as he threw both halves of the Boeing 747 at a water tower, causing ALL THREE OF THEM to explode, he stared at the wreckage for a bit, then he turned his head to Dib. "Now, Dib, was i-?"

In mid-sentence (actually, it was very much near the end of his sentence), Lee was struck by lightning, along with the pots and the salt water behind him.

"Doody doo do do POPCORN!" GIR shouted as he put a bag of popcorn into the microwave. He closed the door and waited a minute, not setting the timer. "DONE!"

Lee stalked into the room, dragging the four "crash survivors" in with him via his metal limbs. "Zim! We have a test subject!"

"Excellent, we shall begin testing immediately!" said Zim, there was a small explosion from where he was. "And bring forth the adhesive medical strips!"

"Very well!" Lee replied, and he tossed everybody/pony/organism on the ground, then he went back to the poor excuse for a laboratory to piece Zim's limbs back together.

-MAGICAL TIME SKIP-

"So, how are our FILTHY EARTH guests?" said Zim as he went to work on rebuilding the Multi-Universal Travel Apparatus, there was a cast over his right arm.

"Well, Rainbow Dash seems to be doing just fine, I don't think she likes airplanes that much, Rarity's sorta gone insane-"

"YOUR FACE IS DELICIOUS!" screamed a tormented voice from the kitchen, there was the sound of a blade piercing through glass.

"YAAAY, IT STINGS!" said GIR happily.

"That her?" said Zim.

"No, I think that was Pinkie Pie, Rarity's cowering in a corner over there with a shotgun," Lee pointed over to a dark corner of the room, and indeed, there sat Rarity with the short-range projectile weapon that Lee mentioned, and she was also wearing a shrapnel helmet.

"Neat," said Zim. "And the rest?"

"Applejack took all my liquor somehow," said Lee, then he frowned. "I has a sad."

Kat walked in with a brace over her leg. "Guys, I think I'm higher up than usual, I just saw a unicorn crash a plane into the apartment building."

"Oh yeaaah, that must be what happened," said Lee.

"And the last one, Fluttershy?" said Zim.

Lee sighed. "Someone erased her mouth."

"Ah, that's usually a side-effect of intra dimensional travel," said Kat. "Actually, I think I can see the future now, that's another thing accomplished thanks to getting high!"

"How does this adventure end, then, Kat?" Lee asked.

"Oh, that's easy, it ends with-"

"SPOILERS!" Rarity screamed, and she blasted Kat with her shotgun. "No... spoilers... pleeease?"

"Got it!" said Kat, who had only been shot backward and sent to the ground by the shotgun, as Irkens are immune to lead poisoning and earth-based projectile weaponry (god, do I have to explain everything?)

"So, what about our new visitors?" said Zim. "What, exactly, are they? More ponies?"

"A cross-eyed Pegasus, a wubbing unicorn, a dragon, and Dib," said Lee.

Zim shrieked. "THE DIB!"

"Yeah, Dib," said Lee. "That dibby bastard is here to wreak dibby doom on our non-dibby plan."

"Then we shall kill him!" said Kat, she pulled a flamethrower out of her PAK and ran for the room's exit. "CHAAAA-"

Zim grabbed Kat by her right antenna. "Hold on there, you crazy broad, the pathetic Dib human probably wants my SUPERIOR ASSISTANCE, if he was to fly directly into the face of the assistant of the harbinger of his very DOOM!"

Rarity said, "He didn't do it on purpo-" Zim shoved an apple into Rarity's mouth.

"Either way, I get to destroy the little d-bag in the end," Zim picked up the emergency electromagnetic wind plunger and left his laboratory.

Silence... silence... silence... silence.

"All right," said Lee, clapping his hands together. "Who wants popcorn while we watch Dib blow up?"

"Me!" said Kat.

"YOUR DOG IS ALI-HI-HIVE!" Rarity laughed. "YOU BROUGHT IT BACK TO LIFE WITH LIGHTNING, AND BOOM-BOOM!"

"Is that depression?" Lee asked.

"Compression, more so, of the brain, I would guess," said Kat, examining Rarity.

"Compressed, huh? So she's a dot rar-itty file?" Lee said.

"No," said Kat simply, and she blasted Lee in his right eye with a bowling ball from the D.E.P.R.O.S.A, which Zim left on the ground.

Lee's right eye popped out of its socket, and a circular aperture closed around said socket.

"THAT hurt," said Lee.

"Good," Kat replied.

"'Ello, Dib," said Zim as he brought the weaponized plunger into the living room where Dib and Spike were watching 30 Rock. "I'm here to KILL you, isn't that pleasant?"

"No, Zim," said Dib. "No, in fact, it's not."

"Oh, really? Okay then," Zim began walking out of the room, and darted back to looking at Dib. "Too bad."

"You really gotta kill him? He's only a danger to himself, you know," said Spike.

"Really?" said Zim.

"There was something WEIRD in that ginger ale," said Dib.

"Oh, so it was just the ginger ale, in that case, go ahead and kill him," said Spike.

"Help me out here, man!" said Dib.

"How did you even get your hands on a plane?" said Zim.

"It's the ginger ale, man, it does shit to ya," said Dib, his eyes bloodshot.

"Uh-huh, well, in that case, I'm going to need to know just what the f*** happened BEFORE you got here, and why you NEEDED a plane in the first place," said Zim.

"Okay," said Dib.

-DUE TO THE FACT THAT THIS EXPLANATION IS LONG AND BORING, WE SHALL BE FILLING THE SPACE WHERE DIB IS TALKING WITH COMMERCIALS-

In a world of bees, only one bee is THE KILLER BEE

kzzt

Does somebody you know write about aliens and ponies? If so, call now, and we'll send them to the nearest mental hospital, WHAT SICK MAN SENDS PONIES- TO FIGHT ALIENS?

kzzt

YOUR BRAIN IS NOT SAFE FROM LASERS!

kzzt

-And now back to your regularly scheduled programming-

"...dubstep laser beam," Dib finished. "And now they're coming to F-f*-f**-f*** US!"

"Gentlementlemen?" said Spike.

"No," said Dib, imitating the rage comic meme.

"Okay," said Spike, imitating another meme.

"And that's why Cloudsdale is on Bespin," said Vir to Rainbow Dash in the kitchen.

"Wow," said Rainbow Dash. "Can't argue with that philosophy, except for the fact that it's in Equestria."

"I'm saying that its equivalent is Cloud City on Bespin," said Vir, "And possibly Columbia from BioShock Infinite."

"You really think those universes actually exist?" said Rainbow Dash.

"Well, considering there are more universes in the multiverse than dust mites in one universe, yeah."

"Then where is it here?" Rainbow Dash said irritably.

"Hmm... ah, Dib's head?" said Vir. "What else could be holding that giant orb up other than some telekinetic parasite in his hair?"

"So you're saying my equivalent is a blood cell? That's stupid."

"No, equivalent organisms do not need to live in equivalent locations," said Vir. "It could be anyone... or anything."

"Well, this was a learning experience," said Twilight, dotting an I on a full notebook of Vir's intra-universal philosophies. "I hope to understand this universe more, it'll be a real treat of knowledge for Princess Celestia."

"Just warning you, last time I mentioned multidimensional travel back on Conventia, I got thrown into a cell for six days," Vir picked up a sandwich and threw it at Hector. "THINK FAST!"

"NIGH!" Hector shouted, and he punched the colliding sandwich, disintegrating it. "I came up with that in half a second, thinking fast is at least eighty percent shorter than that. YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"

Hector tossed a spoon at Vir and laughed maniacally, then he left.

"Ass," said Vir, rubbing his face, then he turned back to Rainbow Dash. "Now, I could tell you the story of the guy who had my PAK before me, he was quite a badass."

"Nah," said Rainbow Dash. "You bore me, your definition of awesome is probably the ability to go outside and not get mugged."

"How could you tell?" Vir asked worriedly.

"You just seem like that kind of person," Rainbow Dash shrugged.

"I've been to space, have you?" said Vir, glaring at Rainbow Dash.

"I've broken the sound barrier before," Dashie replied casually.

Vir growled, and said through gritted teeth, "The moon is a lovely place to be this time of year."

"You LIKE it up there?" Twilight shrieked.

"Damn right I do, I wish I could spend my WHOLE LIFE up there."

Twilight gasped, "That's-that's- you're telling me you WANT a life sentence?"

"If that's what you call it, then yes, I do indeed," Vir smirked.

Rainbow Dash scoffed, and whispered in Twilight's ear, "Don't let him get the better of you, watch this."

Rainbow Dash picked up a full glass of water that she poured for herself, and tossed it at Vir, his smirk quickly retracted into a grimace.

"You suck," Vir said, his skin burning, he got up and walked over to his room in the same sort of fashion that someone would walk if they had a turd in his pants, "I'm gonna go eat some glue."

Rainbow Dash sat still for a moment, thinking that there was more meaning behind what Vir just said, then she got the insult. "Oh, that's just AWFUL!"

Vir snickered from his room. "And THAT'S why rainbow factories are glue factories in this universe!"

"OH, THAT'S JUST EVIL!" Dash screamed.

"We still use horses for glue?" said Hector from the living room.

"We still use human brains for rainbows?" said Twilight, then she faced the camera. "What? You thought we used to use other ponies? How SICK do you think we are?"

"And that's why RAINBOW rhymes with BRAIN BLOW, kiddies!" said Lee, who photo-bombed Twilight.

Twilight shoved Lee's head out of her way and into a wall. "I wasn't- DONE- TALKING!"

"Sorry."

Lard Nar and Tim exited their sad excuse for an escape pod on top of the Empire State building, the tiny chunk of white chalk that was once an Apple product bounced out of the escape pod and rolled off of said building and plummeted towards the doom of either itself or some unlucky chap on the sidewalk.

"Well, I guess this is earth," said Tim, looking out over the city.

"A-yup," said Lard Nar, he looked around.

"What are you looking for?" Tim asked.

Lard Nar gave up his search, "I was looking for a fuck to give for when we blow this bitch sky high."

"The results?" Tim asked.

"No fucks given."

"Very well," Tim pulled out a disc-shape with a shiny red button in the middle. He set the device on the ground and backed up. "Activating Gigadoomer Mech in three..."

Lard Nar shoved his foot down on the button.

Tim glared at Lard Nar.

"I'm not going to wait any longer, TIM, I've been waiting for manifestation, and as Eris is my witness, I NEED IT NOW!"

"Aren't we supposed to be resisting this sort of shit?" Tim said as the disc assembled extra components.

"There are a good eleven legal members of the Irken empire living on this planet, we'll just blow up their apartment, manifest, recruit others to join the Resisty, and when everyone's nice and comfortable, we head off to Jupiter and Pluto to do the same, it's foolproof."

"Okay... wait a minute, doesn't that make me an enemy?" Tim asked.

"Yes," said Lard Nar, then he pulled a laser gun out of his ass and shot Tim in the squeedily-spooch, vaporizing him.

-CHAPTER END-

Chapter 6: My Literalittle Dashie…s

"…And to sweeten the deal, I entitle you to the entire planet Mercury after this plan's INEVITABLE success!"

In his office, Zim had just finished proposing a world-domination contract to Twilight, who had been sitting back in Zim's spinning office chair and nonchalantly twirling an Irken monie in the space between her front hooves via telekinesis.

"Tempting, very tempting, but let me ask you something."

"Yes?" Zim asked.

"Why is it that you want to take over this planet, rather than destroy it? It doesn't exactly have anything of value," Twilight said, flicking the monie at the windowsill behind her. "It's full of miserable crazies, they make war, chaos, and Apple products, and, as your computer's databanks tell me, they haven't made anything that another world could create at ten times the speed and twelve times the quality!"

Zim sighed, "This has to be at least the ninth time I said this, it's because the HUMANS are the only beings capable of producing… dubstep- as they call it, though its true name is Dark-Energy Powered Electricity."

"Really?" said Twilight. "I think that I've heard of this before…"

"D.E.P.E. is a language, dear quadruped; the humans throw words of it onto discs and MPEG-Layer Three devices like some kind of MUSIC."

Twilight scoffed, "Yeah, we have that."

"Ah, but not the kind of D.E.P.E. that the government humans have access to," said Zim.

Twilight's ears perked up, "Okay, now I'm interested, how is this different from other- ah, D.E.P.E?"

Zim beckoned for Twilight to get off his chair and threw a blue print on his desk: one of the D.A.D.s from chapter four. "Dark energy, especially when mimicking electricity, is unstable, but it can be filtered, the sort of noises you once heard were not pure D.E.P.E., THIS-" Zim violently poked the blueprint, "-is completely unfiltered, and very, very catchy. Those who have harvested its power-" Zim pulled out another blueprint of a device that looked like a rocket launcher with a much wider barrel and several levers and buttons, "-have used it to construct a D.E.P.E.R., or, as they have named it-" Zim pointed to the title on the blueprint, "-a bass-cannon."

"I plan on constructing such a device as they have, and will use it to tunnel to the very center of the earth, and drop the Biological Animation Stimulation Shift, the thermonuclear power source for the D.E.P.E.R., into the core, imploding it, and leaving me, ZIM, the first Irken- NAY, the ONLY LIVING POSSESSOR OF THE MOST POWERFUL WEAPON IN ALL THE MULTIVERSE!"

"That's very interesting," said Twilight, sitting back down, "but how do you plan to reconstruct the power source if you drop it into the earth's core?"

"I am on the brink of completing the construction of a magnificent cloning machine, almost MILITARY GRADE," Zim made an o-shape with his thumb and his middle finger, "priceless, babe."

"O…kay, just one more question," said Twilight.

"Good, because you were only entitled to five," Zim replied.

"What do you plan to do after you're done with the earth?" Twilight asked. "What, do you go into retirement or something?"

"I have no fucking idea," Zim said, suddenly sanely, "I guess I'll just blow up the sun or something. Actually, I think I might uncover the mystery of rainbow excrement."

"Eat Skittles," Kat said, poking her head in to the door.

"Well, mystery solved, now I just have one goal," said Zim, and his nonexistent pupils pointed in different directions as he madly walked out the door.

"A true example of genius," Twilight said sarcastically, she wiped Zim's blueprints and his contract into the waste basket next to the desk and went back to fiddling with her coin.

Lard Nar happily rampaged through the island of Manhattan in his newly acquired gigadoomer mech, which, actually, wasn't quite a gigadoomer, as it was only 600 feet tall, whereas a mathematically accurate gigadoomer mech would be roughly 4-5 miles tall, as the megadoomer mech was 30 feet tall, the kilodoomer mech was originally designed for flea-sized organisms from the planet Pluto, and 3% of a foot tall, the very first in the line of –doomer mechs was actually designed nearly seven billion years ago by Vortians when they were still single-celled organisms, and about 0.003% of a foot tall. Aside from that, this one was about 1/60 of the size of an actual gigadoomer, so we'll call it the decaduomegadoomer to be more mathematically correct.

Anyway, Lard Nar, the little sadistic anarchist bastard, was happily trampling the cars of innocents in his decaduomegadoomer mech over the streets of Manhattan whilst eating a Vortburger at the same time.

Sadly, if you couldn't tell by the fact that it's a six hundred foot fucking tall robot made of heavy metal and full of advanced heavy weaponry, it was moving incredibly slowly, at about five miles per hour, so it would be daytime before it reached its checkpoint, THEN we can explain what it looks like.

…

Wow, this is actually very hard to watch, back to ponies.

Zim was up on the apartment building's roof making a contract with Rainbow Dash like the one he made with Twilight, this contract had the same sort of pathetic guidelines as the last one, and rather than Mercury, she was promised the planet Venus as a celestial reward.

"So, what do you say?" said Zim to Rainbow Dash as she was sitting on a cloud.

"How about instead of Venus, I get to personally destroy every flying machine on this planet?"

Zim stroked an invisible beard on his chin as he thought of this, it would take a lot of time to personally destroy every airplane in existence, then a nonexistent light bulb came into existence while at the same time remaining nonexistent directly over his head for a split second, so all that could be seen was the air molecules in which one would imply that a light bulb could be placed, but there was never really a light bulb there.

"How about I assign you the task of personally dropping the earth-shattering thermonuclear power core of the D.E.P.E.R. into the center of the earth?" Zim asked enthusiastically.

"That sounds nice," was Rainbow Dash's answer, and with that, the deal was implicitly settled.

"Very well," said Zim. "That being said, I need you to test a piece of dangerous cloning technology to ensure the safe copying of the B.A.S.S. core."

"For that, I'm probably going to want Venus," said Rainbow Dash, hopping off of her cloud.

"Pluto," Zim growled.

Rainbow Dash groaned. "Fine, jeez."

With those two words, a mysterious chat bubble appeared above her head with her previous sentence in large, red, angry capital letters, and for some reason, the animators decided to draw detail into her face for this one second, the lazy bastards.

The previous paragraph's implied events were disregarded as minor déjà vu, and Zim proceeded to drag Rainbow Dash by one of her wings into the elevator, despite the fact that she was entirely willing to walk.

Twenty-one floors later, Zim and Rainbow Dash arrived on the ninth floor and entered the apartment (for those of you who didn't pay attention in chapter one, it was door seventeen).

To increase dramatic effect that you didn't realize was necessary until now, Anomalous Materials from the Black Mesa soundtrack began playing in the background as Zim entered his poor excuse for a laboratory with a black eye that he received off screen, and Rainbow Dash following him, no longer being dragged.

Zim twisted a knob on the wall, and the area of wall that the window occupied opened up like a door, two thick cords protruded from the bottom corners of this doorway, and formed a bridge from cyan energy, another doorway opened vertically at the other end of this bridge, only allowing a harsh white light to escape through.

"I'm sorry if this offends you in any way, there was just no room for the base in the apartment," Zim said, and he walked calmly across the bridge.

Rainbow Dash did not trust this bridge to remain operational, so she flew over it, "Are people here used to seeing a floating solid energy bridge in the sky?"

Zim stopped himself at the jamb of the doorway, "Honestly, most of these humans are too stupid to even notice," Zim continued into the door with Rainbow Dash at his heels, and the cords retracted back into their sockets, the window-door closing above them.

Of course, these robots, these aliens, and these ponies were also too… well, not stupid, but ignorant- to notice the shining distant speck that was the decaduomegadoomer gradually approaching this floating laboratory- not intentionally, but more or less the apartment nearby, it was just a matter of coincidence that the mech's targeting system was slightly inaccurate, and pointed twenty feet to the right of where its trajectory was actually propelling it.

Zim's one-way-sky laboratory was lit entirely with fluorescent ceiling lights, causing great pain to Rainbow Dash's pupils, and shrinking said pupils to a size where they were slightly larger than beads (which, in Equestria, where pupils alone were normally the size of agate marbles on steroids, would be very, very small for pupils).

Inside the laboratory was a conveyer belt connected to a simple cube-shaped chamber that was six feet wide, six feet long, and six feet tall. The chamber was connected to- gasp- another chamber, which sat to the left, perched on a pedestal to match the height of the conveyer belt, this chamber had an opening in the side that could be closed like a garage. To the side of the conveyer belt was a large container for placing the self-restoring boxes that sat in the right chamber, waiting for use.

GIR, Lee, and Aaron the MiniSIR stood by the conveyer belt to spectate its testing.

Aaron hopped off of his perch on GIR's head, and landed with an over-dramatic dive-roll on the ground, he clapped his metal hands together with enthusiasm, "Excellent, our subject is here. Shall I lower the pedestal?"

"That won't be necessary," Rainbow Dash replied, and she leapt into the chamber without hesitation. "Just a question, what are the odds of me exploding during this experiment?"

"Hang on," said Lee, numbers flashed across his left eye. "One in nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine, nine-"

"Is it that safe?" Dashie said, surprised.

"Safe? OH! I thought you were talking about the odds of you not exploding!" said Lee stupidly.

Before Rainbow Dash could exit the chamber, Zim shut the garage-type door over the opening in the chamber and pushed the big, red, candy-like button that started up the machine, which was conveniently located to the side of the chamber.

And so they waited.

Six minutes passed by, Lee yawned, GIR fooled around with a plush moose, and Aaron studied his shiny metal fingers.

"I could really go for some nachos right now," Lee said, sighing.

"As could I," Zim replied.

Aaron growled. "Okay, seriously, it's been six minutes, WHY isn't she screaming in pain yet?"

Zim groaned, "My god, man, you expect everyone to scream in pain whenever they're being cloned, what if being cloned is like getting high or… removing dried paste from your fingers? Ever think of-"

"Don't talk about paste!" Rainbow Dash shouted from inside the chamber.

"Or… you don't feel anything, completely numb, that would be understandable, wouldn't it?" Zim asked.

"Yeah, that sounds about right," Lee replied.

Aaron scoffed, GIR continued to screw around with his moose.

"What numbers did you put into that thing, Zim?" Lee said irritably.

"I just put in the code for a single clone, that's it," said Zim, surprised. "It honestly doesn't make sense for the machine to be taking this long."

As if to reply to Zim's statement, the machine apparently finished its duty, and shat a box out of the right chamber. The speaker came on. "We must apologize for the five minute delay, machine was unable to copy subject's mind into a full-size copy, at that, what we cannot make up for in quality, we make up for in quantity, because I'm stupid like that. Enjoy your seventy-two one-inch copies."

"Well, that's a shame," said Zim, a tin shield popping out of his PAK and covering his face.

The box popped open, and several dozen (to be exact, six dozen) small blue blurs flooded into the room, moving in unstable patterns and scattering across the laboratory.

"I… see… so… many… Pegasi," Aaron squeaked, and deactivated; the mind of a common MiniSIR can only take so many combinations of awesome and Skittles.

"Well, I guess we should let her out now, this is going to scare the SHIT out of her," Zim said as he walked over to the chamber that he stored Rainbow Dash into.

Zim began to open the sliding door when Rainbow Dash tore it down herself.

"You could'a told me that thing was going to run out of air when it stopped!" she said, coughing, she ran out of the chamber and took a breath of relatively fresh air (considering the purity of the air in an industrial matter to energy to matter conversion device). One of the miniature clones hit her in the face in their unstable flight pattern and landed on the floor. "…The hell is that?"

"A computer error," Zim muttered as he plucked the poor thing off of the floor.

"It smells like Skittles!" GIR said happily, he put his moose down and tried to grab for the clone in Zim's hand.

Lee held GIR back. "No, GIR! It doesn't taste like Skittles! IT TASTES NOTHING LIKE SKITTLES!"

Rainbow Dash followed Zim, "So, what, are you just going to kill them?"

"Well, what the heck else am I supposed to do with them? They're errors, Dash, tiny, flying errors," Zim said. "I'll just make a better machine, that's all."

"In all honesty, I think that that idea is stupid. Very, very, very stupid," Rainbow Dash walked in front of Zim and faced him. "Not only are you killing seventy-two copies of myself, convincing me that you wouldn't hesitate to do the same thing to me, but you're WASTING AMMO."

"Ammo?" said Zim.

The Pegasus groaned, and picked up a convenient bullet. "Look at this bullet."

Zim looked at the bullet, the clone in his hand beginning to shout insults at him. "Okay?"

"Now, look at what you have in your hand."

Zim had a look at the miniature Pegasus in his palm, for a few moments he switched back and forth between the lead projectile in Rainbow Dash's hooves and the clone, back, forth, back, forth, back, forth, back-

"COME ON ALREADY!" screamed the miniature Rainbow Dash.

"Oh, bullets, I see!" Zim said. "That's GENIUS! GLAD I THOUGHT OF IT!"

Rainbow Dash muttered, "My moments of genius are wasted on you people."

"Huh?" Zim asked.

"Screw you."

"Well, if that's all, then we can get on to-"

BZKCHRT

As the mainstream comic sound effect implied, the power went out, meaning that the tear-jerkingly slow mech from earlier was less than eighty miles from the apartment ('cause that thing uses a shitload of power, you know?)

Zim screamed in anger at this power outage. "ALWAYS something, there's ALWAYS SOMETHING to distract me from my work."

There was a popping noise, a moist ball flew into Zim's face, Rainbow Dash screamed in what sounded like pain.

"Ah, that's a side-effect of the machine that I should have told you about, it is possible that your left eye will pop out of your skull shortly after the cloning process," Zim said.

"You better have a way to fix this."

"Surprisingly, my dear, I do not!" said Zim in a delightfully mad tone.

GIR had been following the two with both of Lee's arms still clinging to his head (though severed from their original body) in the hopes that he could snack on the creature in Zim's hand, but instead, he found a more tender morsel, an eyeball about the size of a baseball lying on the floor, which he picked up and tossed down his gullet.

"Lee, you were wrong, its eye tasted just like Skittles!" GIR shouted to Lee.

"Well, that's a shame, don't worry, Dashie, I'm sure you'll get your eye back in two or three days," Zim teased, and he casually walked across the solid energy bridge back to the apartment.

Rainbow Dash lunged for GIR's neck and screamed, "AAAAAAAAAAAA-"

-Chapter End-

Chapter 7: Robots are Bastards

9:00 PM

"And we're getting reports of a six-hundred-foot-tall battle mech slowly rampaging the streets of Manhattan and trampling passing innocents, Tom, I speak for all of us when I say that this is not the first time that this happened," was the news report that came on in the morning. "Now, over to a live feed from the streets!"

The film changed to a hand camera that was being held in the middle of the street right in front of the decaduomegadoomer, which was making a step every ten seconds. It filmed one witness screaming, "WALK! WALK FOR YOUR LIIIIVES!"

"That is unoriginal!" screamed Lard Nar through the microphone in his mech, and fired a laser right into the face of the witness, vaporizing him or her.

Zim and GIR watched this broadcast through their poor excuse for a television at home.

"Ah, finally, a giant robot to do the destructive surface work that I shouldn't have to, excellent," Zim said, and then he turned to GIR, who had a box of poopcorn in his hands. "Pass me some o' that?"

GIR picked up several poopcorn kernels and handed them to Zim.

Zim contently chewed these crunchy kernels and ignored the sound of his teeth cracking whenever they made contact.

Derpy casually walked into the room without a word and sat down in front of the television, not on the couch of course, because Zim was a dick that way.

"And now a word from our sponsors at Davy's Muffin Factory," said the news reporter, and the television switched to a commercial with a man in front of a factory that had DAVY'S MUFFIN FACTORY painted across its banner.

"We got bran muffins, blueberry muffins, chocolate chip muffins, muffins made from an unknown substance that fell from the sky that we think tastes delicious and soylent brown, which is a type of muffin that has all the necessary nutrients required for a living organ- what the hell is that?"

The man pointed at something off-screen, Zim looked on the floor, and saw that Derpy had disappeared.

Whatever the man was pointing at, it was falling out of the sky with a noise similar to a crashing airplane, and a gray-and-yellow blur shot into the muffin factory, causing it to explode in a wave of baked deliciousness.

The man ran screaming from this tidal wave of muffins, which rapidly approached the camera. The screen went to color bars.

Derpy flew back into the apartment with an armload of muffins, and sat back down on the carpet like nothing happened.

Zim stared at the smoking building out the window with his jaw dropped about two or three feet (it's a cartoon, anything can happen).

Eventually, Derpy decided to break the ice, and presented a bran muffin to Zim, "Want one?"

"No, thank you, but remind me to give you a raise," Zim replied.

"You don't pay me, though," said Derpy.

"Remind me to give you a paycheck."

"Muffins only."

Outside, about twenty miles away, the sad excuse for a battle mech that was the decaduomegadoomer was moving as slowly as a snail, not even, I bet if there was a snail that big, it would go much faster than the robot, just sayin'.

Then, as if anyone would notice, the robot stopped moving. Lard Nar pulled out a microphone, which was attached to the speakers at the sides of the mech, and opened the windshield, a giant hovering screen flew off of the top of the mech and hovered above Lard Nar, as he wasn't easy to see among all the wires and metal that surrounded the cockpit.

Lard Nar tapped the microphone twice. "Testing, testing, one two three, one two three, the quick brown fox-"

At the hard "s" noise at the end of "fox", the speakers let out a noisy feedback that hurt the ears of many pedestrians who had already been gawking in horror at the enormous mech. And NOW their faces were stuck that way, nice hero work, Lard Nar, you've permanently disabled the faces of several hundred innocent Americans.

"Sorry! Sorry! So, very sorry, I'll have that fixed in a microsecond, just… uh… how ya doin'?" Lard Nar asked politely.

Because the earth idiots' faces were frozen in shock, they had all passed out; any conscious New Yorker had probably run to China by now.

"Hard crowd, hard crowd, uh, okay, anyone here play Amnesia?" Lard Nar shouted.

A few people on the streets were conscious, and one of them had enough courage to shout, "YOU SUCK!"

"I know," Lard Nar said painfully. "Anyone know where I could find an alien base to destroy?"

"I think I saw one floating near Loctat Knight Apartments," said one of the few intelligent humans in the crowd, but they were English, not American, so that makes sense, "just keep going forward from where you're standing, can't miss it."

"Thanks for the info," said Lard Nar, and his mech tunneled underneath the ground to move with more stealth, though you can't exactly be stealthy when you've got a giant crack forming above the underground tunnel that you're digging through, but enough of this, time skip four hours.

1:00 PM

Once more, the screen shows a news report.

"It appears that the giant robot that was… doing its sad excuse for rampaging through Manhattan about four hours ago has disappeared without a trace, but at least we don't have to send Spiderman or Alex Mercer to deal with it again, eh Tom?"

…

"Why don't you ever answer me, Tom?"

"Well, that's a shame," said Zim, "I thought it would at least destroy the entire state of New York, but oh well, I guess I should earn my right to this PITIFUL planet as a whole."

Meanwhile, in a self-proclaimed fancy restaurant, a customer is not satisfied, and takes it up as his snooty-ass right to bark it to the snooty-ass waiter in his own snooty-ass way.

"Excuse me," said the customer to the waiter, "I believe I ordered this joke to be original, this joke is only sort-of original, do I look like a sort-of type of gentleman to you? I think not, so why don't you go and write a-"

The decaduomegadoomer burst through the floor and focused its glass eyes on the snooty-ass man, ignoring the fact that it just disintegrated a waiter.

"YAAAAAAAARGH!" screamed the man, who decided not to run, but to just scream at his doom.

A little hatch opened on the robot, and out popped Lard Nar with a laser gun. "Your fourth-wall break was unnecessary! YOU KNOW NOTHING OF GOOD HUMOR!" Lard Nar tweaked his laser gun to 'INCINERATE' mode, and fired it at the snooty-ass man, creating a blue laser and a noise similar to someone shouting 'BLAH!'

Across the street, in dog form, GIR's super-sensitive electronic ear apparatuses heard this noise. "Eh?"

"I didn't say anything," said Zim.

"Oh, okay," and GIR went back to resting.

A loud crunch shook the apartment; couch included, and tossed GIR into the wall. "Not again!"

"Ugh, a natural disaster, sometimes I think that some omnipotent force out there is trying to get me to fail," Zim pulled a panel out of his PAK that said BASE STABILITY ENSURANCE MECHANISM on the back, on the front, the panel just had one big purple button that said STABILIZE, which Zim pressed, causing the apartment building's shaking to come to a gradual halt. Outside, tendrils were extending from the apartment in both directions and reaching towards the ground. Zim hopped off of the couch and began to walk to his office. "Now then, I should stop slacking off and get to-"

A giant blast vaporized a large section of wall, freeing GIR, but slicing half of his disguise off of him. "THANK YOU!"

The smoke cleared, revealing the upper-leg areas of Lard Nar's mech.

"You're very we- WAIT A MINUTE, I'M SUPPOSED TO KILL YOU!" the mech blasted GIR with just under enough power to destroy him, so GIR lived, but he had one monster of a scorch mark on his head. Also, because Vortian plasma death darts don't produce splash damage, nothing else was affected.

"Woo! Do that again!" GIR said happily.

"NO!" Lard Nar screamed. He switched to the weapon that did have splash damage; thankfully, this took a long time to load, and gave Zim enough time to give an order.

"GIR, defensive mode, now," Zim whispered, and then he ran off and hid in a cabinet.

GIR didn't go into duty mood. He didn't open fire on the robot. He didn't run to China like the humans.

He opened an umbrella.

The mech fired its weapon, vaporizing everything in the general direction that the weapon had fired, and creating an enormous hole in the ground that went about two or three miles. GIR stood on a little platform of wood and carpet that stood firmly on a convenient column.

GIR's umbrella was now glowing blue, and made fast-paced wubbing noises.

"Push the little button, GIR! Have you forgotten how to use your own weapon? PUSH- THE- FUCKING- BUTTON!" Zim screamed at GIR.

"Okeydokey then!" GIR pushed the little click that one would expect was there to assist in closing the umbrella, but rather, it fired a cyan laser beam into the left knee of the decaduomegadoomer, crumpling it like tinfoil.

"OW, FUCK! OH, FAGGOT!" screamed Lard Nar, the robot let out an alarm sound from its back.

"High-level damage detected, firing everything cannon," the mech began charging into a neon green color, then it fell over at something in between the speed of a bullet and the speed of sound, right on top of the poor excuse for a fancy restaurant nearby.

"Wrong way, you oversized tin can!" Lard Nar shouted.

"Evil genius anger detected, deploying prisms."

"THANK YOU!" Lard Nar screamed angrily.

Rainbow Dash, who had been looking for a replacement eyeball, had just finished cramming a light bulb into her eye socket in the linen closet when the door fell over, "The heck is that? I mean, other than the reason I exist."

SCIENCE JOKE, BITCHES

"They're triangular pyramid-shaped robotic minions that drain light from any area within their five yard radii and spew rainbow colored lasers at their targets," said Twilight.

"How did you-?" Zim began.

"I looked it up, what of it?"

"Why does my computer keep giving you furry interdimensional beasts its precious knowledge?" said Zim.

"It doesn't have a password," said Rainbow Dash, the light bulb popping out of her eye socket.

A hovering glass triangular pyramid (about six feet by six feet by six feet) floated through the hole in the wall, all nearby lamps powering off in the process, it was also screaming in binary, so it looked and sounded like something out of the first TRON movie.

"Zero, zero, zero, one, one, zero, zero, one, one, one, one, zero, one, zero," at that, this pyramid may be able to move quickly when flying, but because it didn't have any legs or wheels or anything of the sort, it moved incredibly slowly on foot, just like everything else its company manufactured.

Walking carefully on the crumbling scaffolding, the pyramid charged itself with electrons from light bulbs and a few lamp posts, sort of like that scene in the first "Harry Potter", except not quite as overrated, and with less of a detestable fan-base.

This pyramid eventually stopped, took in a few seconds of suspense, and exploded into a full spectrum of beautiful doom, creating an air burst about thirty feet in diameter and forcing everybody/pony to cling to whatever they were standing in front of, GIR got the short end of the stick, and clung to a piece of weak scaffolding, which cracked and broke, causing him to fly into Rainbow Dash's face and flinging them both into Hector's face.

Hector had just woken up, and was now very upset.

"What the fuck is going on?" Hector asked.

"Geometry's a bitch," GIR said simply.

"Amen to that," Hector muttered.

Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, was in great pain, and bleeding in her forehead. "Ow, ow, ow, everything hurts, everything hurts, I think my brain just went into my stom- shyyyAAAA, where are the [ADHESIVE MEDICAL STRIPS]?"

"No idea, I split my hand open yesterday and I couldn't find them either," Hector said, and then he raised his right hand, which was just fine now. "It's better now though, thanks to welding my skin back together."

"That's not healthy," Twilight said.

Lee walked by casually and muttered, "Neither is drinking gray paste that a cyan Pegasus threw at you, but I did it anyway."

"And because I can't get up due to a horrible bone dislocation in my right hind leg, I have a question," said Rainbow Dash.

"Yeah?" Lee asked.

"Do you ever take the time to clean?" she said irritably.

"Nope," said Lee, outstretching his neck.

The camera faces from Rainbow Dash's point of view, in which we get a sort of over-the-shoulder 2nd-person view of Lee's head, still imitating the overused TF2 gag. The ceiling above Lee disintegrated, and through several floors, the battle mech was staring down at the five characters. Actually, I for one think this is impressive, considering the size of the mech, that it would be able to lift itself up in less than ten minutes.

"HEEEEEEEERE'S LARDY!" screamed Lard Nar.

"Well, we're fucked," said Hector.

"I have an idea!" said Twilight.

"Give the turret milk?" Lee said stupidly.

"Not quite as brilliant, now, I'll give it to you slowly, walk forward indefinitely at a speed of no less than sixty miles per hour."

"Good idea!" said the other four in unison, and with that, they disappeared, leaving several smoke trails in the shape of a Lee, a Hector, a Twilight, a GIR, and a Rainbow Dash, the final having a little blood trail left behind it.

"Aw, man, I wanted to see if that rainbow one would look like a crushed bag of Skittles," said Lard Nar sadly.

"Those traitorous bastards left me to die!" Zim screamed.

"One, one, one one one one ONE ONE ONE ONEONEONEONEONEONEONEONEONE-" the prism shrieked.

"WONDERWHEEL!" shouted an eardrum-piercingly high-pitched voice, and a motorcycle flew through what was left of the window and shattered the prism.

And because I've been forgetting to acknowledge their importance, Derpy, Pinkie-Pie, Vir, Rav, Kat, Rarity, Fluttershy, Spike, Tak, Aaron, and Vinyl had all just gone out to the park to wait for the street to clear up. Applejack was nowhere to be found.

Kat had been showing Spike the magic of cocaine, Derpy had been eating muffins, the same muffins that she got four hours ago, Rarity was lightly humming a tune that would normally get you put into a padded cell, and Fluttershy was attempting to recreate the English language without using any vowels. All the rest were just enjoying the view.

A mushroom cloud rose in the distance, Vir pointed lazily.

"Another explosion," said Vir, pointing at the mech that was, once again, doing its poor excuse for rampaging through the town.

"Neat," said Vinyl, who wasn't exactly paying attention, due to the fact that she was listening to music off of a Walkman MP3 Player that someone had left in front of the Empire State building. "Man, this guy doesn't have any dubstep!"

Vir sighed, and then he looked at Derpy, who was eating the aforementioned "soylent brown" muffin.

"Soylent brown is ponies," said Vir.

Derpy stopped chewing for a few seconds, her crossed eyes went wide, then they went back to normal and she continued chewing.

"Nice kid," Vir sighed, and then he went to sleep on the bench.

"You'll know it's working when Vir turns into a puppy," said Kat, handing Spike a bag of the inviting white powder.

"Wait a minute," Spike said. "Something tells me that cocaine isn't my friend."

"It is in this mystical land, purple one," Kat squeaked, and then she ate a chunk of dirt and passed out.

"Now I'm scared," said Spike.

"Nd n hg?" Fluttershy attempted to say.

"I don't even know," Spike muttered.

Back at the other point of view, five poor souls had just run into a truck filled with Red Bull mixed with gunpowder (why someone would need a truck for that, nobody/pony will ever know), at a speed of no less than sixty miles per hour.

Now, one may wonder how someone would be able to run at sixty miles per hour in such a short period of time, but there's an answer to everything, Hector burst into flames and sped forth like a rocket, GIR and Lee were technically robots, so that explains it for them, Rainbow Dash was just awesome that way, and Twilight used MAGIC!

But of course, this was before current events, so right now, everybody/pony was lying sprawled in the middle of the street with many broken bones (or, in GIR's case, torn wires) and scorch marks on their bodies.

"What kind of idiot mixes Red Bull and gun powder?" Hector grunted.

"How the fuck would any of us know?" Lee replied.

"It was rhetorical," Hector re-replied, getting up and vaporizing a can of the chemical abomination that was at his feet.

"AAAAGH, WHY DOES EVERYONE IN THIS DIMENSION SUCK AT DRIVING?" Rainbow Dash screamed. Her wings were bent over in a way similar to that of a hastily-folded piece of paper. "I feel like my brain was smashed open by a slice of lemon wrapped around a freaking BRICK!"

"Some of it must have gotten in your mouth, then, that's a sensation you usually get from drinking anything in this dimension," Twilight said, miraculously less beaten-up than everyone else, and sitting on a bench.

"You've got some pussy-ass taste buds if that's really what you think of our food," Lee grumbled as he used his tentacles to regain his balance.

Twilight squinted at Lee and stared through him like a fiber laser. "Shut up."

Lee squinted back with the aperture in his right eye actually producing a fiber laser, thankfully pointed several inches from Twilight's face. "Insert witty counter-comeback here."

"REEEEEEEJECTED!" GIR screamed.

"Oh, BUCK THIS; let's just knock this thing over and shout 'timber' so we can all go home!" Rainbow Dash shouted, and limped towards the mech at something close to twenty miles per hour. Jesus Christ, just imagine how cool it would be to see that, something limping at the speed of an automobile. That would be awesome.

"I'm gonna go walk up a building," Lee said dully.

"You aren't going to help us kill that thing?" Hector asked.

Lee heard a faint "CRAP!" followed by the thump of the mech's footfall, and Rainbow Dash went flying over his head and into a wall.

"You mean that thing that sent six or seven cars along with a young Pegasus flying ten feet into the air just by stepping forward?" Lee asked.

"Yes," said Hector.

Meanwhile, within the altered positronic brain inside Lee's cracked metal-assisted skull, millions of underpaid microscopic mechanical workers communicate through small static shocks.

"Commander, subject Lee is being a pussy, how do we respond?"

"Destroy his nerves and remind him that he's made out of stainless steel."

"One more question."

"Yes?"

"Can my friend get a raise?"

INB UNIT 17Q LAMBDA TERMINATED

"Anyone else still want a raise?"

That all happened in about a split second.

There was a loud dinging noise from Lee's left eye, an angry voice shouted, "POPCORN!" and the eye turned to a dark blue color. "Okay."

"Thank you for not pussying out," Hector muttered.

"Yep, now, WE RIDE!" Lee's tentacles grabbed his cohorts in a fashion not unlike a boa constrictor, and he grabbed GIR, the only one there who couldn't die of asphyxiation, harmlessly by his right hand.

"And now one of the few parts of me that wasn't destroyed is slowly being crushed into cranberry juice," Rainbow Dash squeaked.

-END CHAPTER-

Chapter 8- Writers are Bastards

While that whole fiasco was going on down on Earth, already several light years away, the damaged Massive was undergoing repairs after crashing into Zim's base.

The Massive's hull was greatly damaged in the food court, something the Almighty Tallest had learned the hard way when several Irken soldiers were flung into space with their precious snacks when they had made the jump to hyperspace. Of course, they didn't care much about the soldiers, everyone was dispensable.

"Am I the only one who thought that was funny?" said Purple as a repair droid welded a new Industrian Iron hull over the Massive's food court area.

"I think I chuckled a bit, but other than that I didn't think it was funny," said Red. "Probably seen that happen before. By the way, have you seen my iPod?"

"I think it stopped existing," said Purple.

"Phooey. Ah well, I can buy a thousand more, probably made out of Meekrob Energy Crystals, 'cause I'm so fucking RICH!" Red laughed. "Who would've thought that a bunch of defective SIR units could actually take down the entire Meekrob government?"

"You remember that?" Purple said, trying not to laugh as well. "I didn't even know who to give the medal to!"

"And the funniest thing was that Tenn didn't even do anything! She spent the rest of the planetary takeover dead!" Red laughed again.

Purple chuckled, "Yeah…"

The main screen of the Massive, unlike the hull, was still working, and a green character of the Irken alphabet flashed on the screen.

"Oh look, it's Zim," Purple said.

Red pushed a button on the panel next to him. "Yeah, Zim, what is it?"

Zim appeared on-screen, in his ludicrously fluorescently lit laboratory. "Good afternoon, my Tallest, invader Zim reporting, didja miss me?"

"No, Zim, no we did not," said Red.

"Ah well, I missed you, anyway, I just wanted to catch up, see how things were, ask how to destroy a giant robot-"

"Huh?" Purple asked.

"Nothing, nothing, I would also like to tell you of an interesting find."

"What? Another rock?" said Red. "We have enough of those, Zim, tell you what, can you send us something from the moon?"

"No, not a rock… well, yes, sort of a rock, but it's a crystal, a very specific kind of rock," said Zim.

"Zim, we told you, Earth diamonds are worth half a monie, they are dirt, Zim, D-I-R-T dirt," Red replied.

"No, no, no, it's not the value that makes it interesting, it's what it does," Zim said.

"Hmm… a new power source?" said Purple.

"It couldn't possibly be a better power source than dubstep," said Red.

"Not a power source, but an energy source," said Zim.

"Is there a difference?" Red replied.

"I'll slap the diagnostic up on the screen," Zim said, he pushed a few keys on the keyboard and said diagnostic appeared on the screen, replacing Zim's face.

The two Tallest skimmed the diagnostic, their eyes growing wider as they read.

"It appears that this crystal can access universes beyond our own," said Zim. "There being so many universes that the describing number ending in the –illion suffix would have to use a four-digit number for its prefix just to count a ninth of the entire Multiverse!"

Red snapped out of his stupor. "So, Zim, you're saying that if we capture this universe, we still wouldn't be the most powerful beings in existence?"

"Aaaaaabsolutely," Zim said cheerily. "But that isn't what's important; we are the first beings in this universe to discover that the Multiverse is, in fact, real!"

"If only knowledge actually was power," Red muttered. "Zim, do you still have the crystal?"

"But of course!" Zim said giddily.

"Could you send us a sample when you have the time?" Red asked.

"Absolutely, my Tallest," Zim said, he saluted. "Invader ZIM, signing off!"

The screen went blank.

Red sighed. "Well, I guess we're gonna have to tell everyone to drop everything and return to base."

"Drop?" Purple chuckled. "My friend, just because we aren't in control of the largest area in existence doesn't mean we have to abandon the operation."

"Well, we're going to need the invaders back here to invade other universes, aren't we?"

"Yes, good Red, but, since we're going after something of such high value, how about a few… fireworks… to celebrate this discovery?" Purple said menacingly.

Gradually, Red's green face split into a demonic grin, he took a communication device out of his PAK.

"Well, it's a good thing that this giant robot has an emergency entrance underneath its left foot," said Twilight as she trotted through the- for lack of better word- halls of the decaduomegadoomer with her companions, all of which having scorch marks on their bodies.

"I've stopped feeling!" Rainbow Dash said in a voice of mock happiness as she walked along with GIR on her back, her limbs making cracking noises as she walked.

"It's also a good thing that my left eye has wall hack, otherwise we would have known the foot led to an incinerator room a second too late and all have died in a horrific flaming inferno!" Lee said happily.

The halls of the decaduomegadoomer were fairly narrow, but that was understandable, because they weren't halls, they were just tunnels spanning across the control panels that power the monstrous device. They didn't do a good job of it, either. The halls were actually conveniently located in the arms of the cybernetic abomination. Of course, nobody/pony would have guessed that, because the entrance was hidden by a massive sign that read "ENTRANCE".

Eventually, this group came to a grate, which is perfectly normal to lead from a control room.

Completely ignoring the fact that this was scientifically unnecessary, Lee ripped the grate off of the wall with his tentacles and hopped in, followed by GIR, followed by Rainbow Dash, followed by Hector, followed by Twilight, who had been deep in thought at the time.

About twelve feet into the grate, Lee and his three-hundred-and-twelve pound self-regenerating robot scaffolding fell through the grate, landing in the robot's food court and crushing half of the snow cone maker, along with that half of its table.

"Funny how so many alien vehicles have food courts," said Hector as he lowered his density and hopped out of the grate.

"No, actually, it isn't," said Lee, brushing the snow and machinery off of him, his chest and stomach area now fully replaced with robotic parts. "Strangely, humans have the lowest metabolism in the universe."

"Enlightening," said Hector, he found a part of the snow cone maker that hadn't been destroyed, put a cup under the nozzle, and pushed the button above said nozzle. Several crude chunks of snow popped out of the nozzle, along with a drizzle of red juice. Hector took a sip, and immediately spat the fluid onto the floor.

"Hector, are you alright?" said Twilight, also altering her density to get out of the grate faster.

"No!" Hector shouted, and he stared madly at Twilight. "I thought it was cherry, but it was strawberry! STRAWBERRY!"

"Aw, man, all that's left are the crappy flavors!" said Rainbow Dash, looking at the intact half of the snow cone maker; she tossed the now useless machine at the floor, causing it to explode, because everything explodes if you throw it at the ground hard enough. Of course, if you threw it at the ground and missed, that object would obviously be airborne, in which case you should probably contact your local exorcist.

Another bit of information, Rainbow Dash was from a universe in which the only things that exploded if you threw them at the ground were pressure-activated explosives and Molotov cocktails, so she jumped about twelve or fifteen feet in the air with assistance from her wings when she saw that the non-electric snow cone machine had blown up.

To this reaction, GIR stated, "I always wanted to explode."

"This place is weird, man," Rainbow Dash replied.

Hector and Lee burst into laughter.

"Yes… yes it is," Hector said while chuckling.

"Ah, there's the speed alteration device, no wonder this piece of garbage is moving so slowly," said Lard Nar in his control room, he reached for a knob on the dashboard.

"ALERT, CRITICAL DAMAGE TO SNO-CONE MAKER- SECTOR NINE," the intercom screamed.

Lard Nar's hand recoiled so he could cover both his ears. "AGH, what's wrong in sector nine?"

"See for yourself, lazy bones," the computer muttered.

Lard Nar scoffed and hopped out of his chair, and then he walked into the elevator, which was a luxury of using the mech's official hallways, and pressed a button with the number "9" on the wall panel. Note that the elevators are entirely pneumatic, and don't move the pads at all. Only one person is allowed to use an elevator shaft at a time, and the platforms in the elevators are actually apertures that open up during use except for the one above the destination floor, which is there to end the passenger's excursion. While that may be painful, this is military shit; the guys who use it are hardened soldiers who have been trained in the use of-

"FAH, MY HEAD!" Lard Nar screamed when he hit the upper aperture. "Nobody told me that was how it stopped!"

The door to the elevator opened and an airburst shot Lard Nar out like a cannonball. This elevator had led directly to the food court, AKA sector nine, and poor GIR was right in the path of Lard Nar's momentum.

Thankfully, Vortians on average are actually very light in weight, and to GIR it felt somewhat like getting hit in the stomach with a large pillow.

"Tiny… metal… monstrosity…" Lard Nar gurgled.

Aaron popped out of Twilight's mouth, "You called?"

Twilight spat Aaron out onto GIR's head, "What the hell were you doing in there?"

"Looking a gifted horse in the mouth," Aaron replied. There was a faint rim shot, and Aaron hopped off of GIR's head to take his frustration out on some cables.

Everyone stood still for a moment, and immediately went to action.

Lee's tentacles flicked upward in a defensive position while his right eye charged a blast of concentrated energy, Hector set his hands on fire, Rainbow Dash flew a distance away and found a sharp object to impale Lard Nar with, Twilight began forming an offensive energy field, and GIR unfolded his umbrella once more.

Lard Nar's plan of action was simple, look at what everyone was doing, whistle for a bit, then run screaming like a maniac.

Back on the ground, the ten other characters who make this story confusing were still sitting at the park. Possibly testing their patience, as one can only sit at the park for so long.

"Pinkie, how long has it been?" said Spike.

Pinkie-Pie had gained a kleptomaniac trait from the lunacy of this universe, and therefore had jacked a classic ticking stopwatch off of the kitchen table earlier. She checked this stopwatch for a few seconds, and then looked up at Spike. "About nineteen-hundred and thirty-seven seconds."

"How many minutes?" Spike asked worriedly.

Pinkie looked back down at the stopwatch, and then looked up again. "Doesn't say."

"Are all clocks like that here?" Spike asked Rav.

"They are as far as I'm concerned," Rav replied, a pigeon landed on her head. "Hell-o, DNA!"

An Irken Information Retrieval Purposed Electronic Fang protruded from Rav's PAK, and went for the pigeon slowly so as not to startle it, but just as the needle was about to puncture the pigeon's skin, Fluttershy snatched the pigeon away.

"Dammit," Rav said, frustrated.

"Hr dr yr!" Fluttershy attempted to attempt to shout at Rav as she placed the pigeon on the ground.

"Speak up, Kenny," Rav replied.

"…Frck yr."

Tak had been conversing about a philosophy of hers with Rarity. "If a telepath is someone with telekinesis, does that make a psychopath someone with psychokinesis?"

Rarity replied with another philosophy. "If somepony stands in the shadow of a tall building, do they still have a shadow?"

In unison, the two of them produced a thoughtful hum.

Shortly after, the shoulder of the decaduomegadoomer exploded into a hail of magical energy, blue plasma, fire, spectra, and for some reason, bees. Six tiny dots flew out of the shoulder of the behemoth as the mech slowly crashed into the ground.

"That was pretty," said Vir mildly.

Vinyl pushed a button on her newfound Walkman, and Mittens pounced on Vir from a nearby bush, forcing him off his seat and making him run screaming. "Well… I suppose that's entertaining."

"CONFOUND YOU, EARTH FELINE!" Vir screamed before he ran into a tree, causing him to fall down, and the cat to run away. "Well, that wasn't so bad."

Unfortunately for Vir, the black dots that were coming out of the mech's shoulder had their trajectory pointed exactly towards the tree that he had run into.

This tree was a very special tree, because about a year ago, some guy put a shitload of magnets into it for no explainable reason, and this day would be the day that those magnets were put to good use, as Lee had been holding Lard Nar in the air with one tentacle while Rainbow Dash used one of Lee's arms, which was severed in the explosion, to beat the snot out of Lard Nar rapid-fire style without using too much energy in her wings. As a result, all three of them were being propelled directly into the tree with the help of the magnets. Hector and Twilight were clinging to GIR as he flew into the tree. Twilight was hanging onto GIR for dear life, while Hector just thought bodysurfing was cool.

Rainbow Dash was the only one having any reaction to how quickly the ground was rising. She took advantage of this situation by using Lard Nar as a human shield (technically not human, but still a living shield) so that she wouldn't have to unfold her wings and compromise any power from her hooves, which, at the moment, were covered in purple Vortian blood, and becoming more so by hitting Lard Nar's face at the speed of sound.

"Say hi to the ground, Lardy or whatever your name is!" Rainbow Dash said madly as the hum of a super-magnet drew ever louder.

"I would if my lungs were working," Lard Nar coughed. "I can't make an 'H' noise without making another crater in my stomach, are you pleased now?"

"Nope!" Dash said happily, and she shoved Lard Nar's face into the trajectory of the tree.

Vir got up and brushed the wood chips and grass off of him. "Well, it's a good thing I'm indestructible," Vir looked at the quickly approaching mass. "Oh, FUCK NO."

A split second before Lard Nar could crush Vir's skull, a metal spider leg popped out of Vir's PAK and stopped Lard Nar, Lee, and Rainbow Dash in their tracks, creating a loud cracking noise.

"No. Okay?" said Vir. "I am not having my skull cracked again, GOT IT?"

At that moment, GIR, with Hector and Twilight attached to him, flew into Vir and crushed him.

"I hate this planet," Vir spat.

"Join the freaking club," Lard Nar said, now in a pile made up of himself, Rainbow Dash, Twilight, and Hector. Lee and GIR were attached to the tree by their arms.

"Right, so, how about we take a five minute break to recover and we murder the goat guy?" Hector asked, attempting to reposition his foot.

"Screw that," said Kat, who had snap-recovered from her unconsciousness, now fully alert and ready to fire a plasma cannon that she had miraculously pulled out of her PAK in less than a split second. She pointed the device at Lard Nar. "I'm firing this in three seconds, if you're not out of the way, I'm still firing."

"RUN AWAY!" screamed the group of three on top of Lard Nar, and they jumped off the soon-to-be corpse.

The beam fired from the cannon, and hit Lard Nar square in the top of his head.

"Argh, now I have a headache… and there are two more holes- scratch that, three more of them in my lungs," Lard Nar groaned.

"Why aren't you dead?" Kat asked, she looked at the device with a curious eye; it was a laser gun, yes, but as the label claimed, it was not a death ray, it was a Military-Class Migraine Construction Device. "Well, that's just useless."

"Someone please kill me," said Lard Nar.

"I have a better, more child friendly idea!" said Twilight, and she ran up to Lard Nar and punched him in the face.

That was all anyone in the outside world saw, but on the inside of Lard Nar's head, Twilight broke through the mind's reality barrier, brought Lard Nar's consciousness in through the barrier, and shut the barrier tight after exiting through the hole she came in.

Lard Nar was left lying on the ground, shaking in agony and releasing constant exhales out of his lungs.

"I trapped him in his own mind for all eternity!" Twilight said happily as she placed Lard Nar by a tree, she turned her head to face everyone else, "Nopony minds if I leave him here, do they?"

There was absolute silence. Aaron, who had followed GIR out of the mech's shoulder after he finished taking his frustration out on its wires, simply let out a long, loud, "UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHH."

"Well, then, I guess I'm off the hook," Twilight whistled the tune to "Winter Wrap-Up" happily as she walked to Loctat Knight Apartments to turn in for the night.

Lee, on the other hand, was not in a stupor, thanks to his positronic brain's Backup Standing Consciousness, and shouted, "Anyone gonna get me off this stupid tree?"

This earned him a punch to the face from Fluttershy.