Romance and the Fate of Equestria

Chapter Forty-Six

Rainbow and Applejack entered a tavern, glancing around anxiously.

"See, there she is," Applejack said, pointing.

Fluttershy was at the bar, her chin resting on the surface and a huge drink within her reach.

"Aw, poor thing," Rainbow said, pouting as the she approached with Applejack. "Look at her… I gotta admit though, I love it when she gets like this."

Applejack glared as the two of them came up to the bar to join Fluttershy. "When she gets like what, plastered?"

"She's not 'plastered'," Rainbow said calmly. "She pours out her heart, AJ. Lets go of all the stuff she'd keep inside otherwise. What's not to like about that?"

"Way to talk about me like I'm not even here," Fluttershy snapped in a pronounced "valley girl" accent.

Rainbow flinched. "Sorry."

"Oh, yeah, positively adorable," Applejack said snidely.

The other three friends approached. "Hey, Fluttershy," Twilight said. "We came looking for you as soon as we heard. How are you?"

"'M okay," Fluttershy mumbled. "I've been, like, better?" She coughed, and spoke in her natural voice. "I mean, I'm good. This is nice. This…" She swirled her drink around. "This is a nice drink for a breakup," she said quietly.

"Don't be too mad at him, sugarcube," Applejack pleaded. "He needs time to compose himself. He needs… solitude."

"Well, he didn't have to break up with me!" Fluttershy snarled. "He could have just told me he needed a couple of days alone. Did he… did he think I wouldn't understand? Does he think I don't get how introverts work?" She looked around incredulously at the others. "Huh? Is that it? Why were we even together if he thought I didn't understand him? If he didn't… ugh!" She threw her hooves in the air, then slumped over again, cradling her drink.

"So, what are you gonna do now?" Twilight whispered. "Anything we can do to help?"

"Oh, I don't know," Fluttershy sighed. "I'll just keep doing what I've been doing, I guess."

"Of course you will," Rainbow said, leaning up against her.

Fluttershy nodded. "I'll have more time for… animals. I mean, that's what I'm here for. Y'know." She spread her hooves, gesturing to the world at large. "Here. Gonna fulfill my purpose and… and die an old maid!" She collapsed in tears. "I always knew I would, but I never really cared until I got the taste of… of… of true love…"

"Oh, Fluttershy!" Twilight gasped, hugging her tightly.

"You're not old," Pinkie said in surprise. "You're young and pretty. Heck, if I look half as good as you do when I'm thirty-one, that'll be a reason to celebrate. An 'I look half as good as Fluttershy did at this age' party."

Fluttershy gaped at Pinkie, slack-jawed. "I'm not thirty-one, I'm twenty-seven!"

Pinkie froze. "Really? Aren't you always saying you're five years older than me?"

"One. I'm one year older than you."

"Oh." Pinkie slouched, embarrassed, and averted her eyes. "Well, don't listen to me, I'm just Pinkie Pie. Um… heh heh… can I get a mimosa? Over here? Yeah, thanks. I always wanted to try a mimosa…"

"Twenty-seven's still an old maid," Fluttershy slurred. "Society looks at me and says I gotta settle down before it's too late for me. But Big Mac is, what, thirty-four? Ooh, he's got all the time in the world to 'find himself'!"

Twilight chuckled sadly. "Oh, sweetie, nopony believes—"

"Then why does it HAPPEN?" Fluttershy said shrilly. "That's the truth of our SOCIETY!" She exhaled and stared down into her drink. "I'm just saying, it's weird that that double standard exists even here, in a country run by a mare who's still single and a complete knockout at fourteen hundred and whatever years old."

"Um, Fluttershy," Twilight said, glancing around nervously, "everypony loves a good rant and all, but, um, Celestia told us her age in confidence. Try to keep your voice down, it's a secret. But come on, your age doesn't make you unavailable." She caressed Fluttershy's face. "Most beautiful mare in Ponyville, remember?"

"But listen, about Big Mac—" Rainbow began.

Applejack grabbed Rainbow's tail in her teeth and pulled, flinging the pegasus over her head and dropping her to the ground.

Flat on her back, Rainbow's fierce gaze met Applejack's. "What do you take me for?" Rainbow said coldly. "You think I'm gonna want to take him out now, or something? I would never do that to her. Have some friggin' faith in me, would you?"

Applejack blinked. "Sorry," she said, helping Rainbow to her hooves. They rejoined the group.

"Don't taze me, bro," Pinkie muttered, her chin resting against the bar and her mimosa glass drained.

"Pinkie," Rainbow said, nudging her.

"Huh?" she said, raising her head.

Rainbow looked her over. "Was that your first drink ever?"

"Uh-huh."

"HA-HA! Awesome," Rainbow said jovially. "But, um, Fluttershy. You know how you were feeling all confident and successful and sexy? You're still successful and sexy. And if he can't take that away from you, he can't take away your confidence either."

"I know," Fluttershy said sadly. "I just… he was my first. My first everything. My first kiss—well, no, that was you."

"Yeah," Rainbow said appreciatively.

"But he was my first date, first boyfriend, first sexual encounter." She wobbled in her seat, her eyes unfocused. "That sexual experience was so… sexual."

Rainbow chuckled.

"And I know it's silly," Fluttershy went on, dropping off her bar stool and walking out into the bar, "but I always hoped my first everything would also be my last and only everything."

"That's not silly," Twilight said. "I wished for that too. It's out of reach for me, but… maybe you could still pull it off. You guys could still get back together, right?"

"I dunno," Fluttershy sighed. "He might want to someday, and I… I really, really want to, but… I dunno. I…" She trailed off and rubbed her head. "I really am plastered. I've never had more than one drink before. Will I get a hangover? Those sound like they hurt…"

Applejack shrugged. "You're doin' better than Pinkie."

"Why can't I hop?" Pinkie asked, sprawled on the ground. "I'm trying to hop around, but my legs won't push the earth down."

"Rarity!" Fluttershy said gleefully, diving toward her and giving her a prolonged, tender kiss on the lips. Rarity at first looked surprised, but almost seemed about to reciprocate when Fluttershy slowly pulled away. "You've been awful quiet," Fluttershy whispered. "How are you?"

Rarity sighed and smiled, her eyes full of tears. "It cuts me deep to see you in this condition, darling. You're just so beautiful, from the outside all the way down to the core. You don't deserve this pain. Truly, you're so wonderful that I wish… I wish I… well, I wish I was…" She lowered her head, gazed pitifully up at Fluttershy and finished, "…you."

Fluttershy stared blankly, then burst into tears. "Rarity, please don't say that!" she sobbed. "Why can't you love yourself? Why can't any of us love ourselves?" She looked around at the group. "We're all so messed-up and insecure. Can't we just be normal?"

"Messed-up and insecure is normal," Rainbow said solemnly. "That's why ponies have friends. We're a bunch of completely different ponies, and all our different stuff and junk mixes together, and one friend's good qualities hold up another friend's dysfunction, and the other way around until we reach, whatchacallit, equilibrium."

"Yeah, equilibrium," Pinkie slurred enthusiastically. "You know, I always thought a mimosa was just orange juice in a skinny glass. Crazy…"

Fluttershy gave Pinkie an odd look, then leaned against Twilight and looked at all the others again. "You guys are being so sweet to me. Will I even remember all this great bonding and encouragement tomorrow?"

"If you don't, we'll tell you how much we love you again in the morning," Rarity offered with a smile.

Twilight nuzzled Fluttershy and glanced at Pinkie. "Why don't you two bunk with me tonight so I can take care of you in the morning if you're hung over. How does that sound?"

"That's a great idea," Fluttershy said. She kissed Twilight just as romantically as she had Rarity, then wandered off.

"Wow," Twilight commented.

"I know!" Rarity exclaimed, chuckling. "Best kisser in Ponyville, too."

"No kidding," Rainbow said, looking between the two of them with amusement. "You guys are a bit nauseous, aren't you?"

"Yeah," Twilight admitted. Rarity nodded uncomfortably.

"Then you probably shouldn't date girls," Rainbow said brightly. "It's at least nice to test it out on somepony as drop-dead gorgeous as Fluttershy, isn't it?"

"No doubt," Rarity mused.

"Does anypony else need a kiss?" Fluttershy asked. "Applejack?"

Applejack grinned. "I'm good."

Fluttershy swayed on the spot and blinked at Applejack. "We were almost sisters," she realized.

"We will be," Applejack said. "I have faith."

"Okay," Fluttershy muttered. She grinned broadly. "But for now, Twilight's gonna take me to bed!"

"Oh, stop it," Twilight said, starting to escort her out. "Come on, you know you're not attracted to me at all."

"You're, uh, you're gonna find the boyfriend you're looking for," Fluttershy assured her. "All you girls will. A great bunch of mares like you should never, ever be single if they don't want to be."

"Yes, and that's especially true for you, Fluttershy," Rarity said.

"Hang in there, Rarity," Fluttershy called in no particular direction. "Love yourself!"

Twilight gently guided Fluttershy and Pinkie out of the tavern and walked with them down the streets in the evening chill.

Twilight glanced at Fluttershy and realized tears were dripping down her face. "What—?"

Fluttershy turned to her; despite the torrent of tears, she was smiling. "Cry with me, Twilight," she said gently. "It's good for you."

Twilight shook her head. "I'm not going to cry for him. It's more than he deserves."

"Then cry for you," Fluttershy pressed.

"…Maybe I will," Twilight said. Pinkie leaned against her for support as they walked. "Hi, Pinkie," Twilight said affectionately.

"Hi, Twilight. I always thought a mimosa was just orange juice in a skinny glass. Did I say that already?"