Romance and the Fate of Equestria

Okay, season 3 just ended and I just posted five chapters at the same time. I remember in chapter 8, I mentioned that I probably wouldn't be running into any problems by ignoring season 3. Hoo-boy, was I wrong. A lot of friggin' stuff happened in season 3, only the least of which is that "alicorn" is now canon and my note in chapter 10 is largely moot.

But nevertheless, I'll still be completely ignoring season 3… and season 4, since that'll doubtless come along before this story is over. I've come this far, after all. To give you a hint of how far ahead I've been writing this, this right here, chapter 18? This is the halfway point… of part one. Yup. I've written up to chapter 36. Part two begins at chapter 37, and I basically know quite a bit of stuff that's gonna happen in part two. Beyond part two, I don't know… but logically, I'm guessing part two ends somewhere around chapter 72. And then beyond! Not bad, I've never had a chapter 72 before. Or a "beyond".

Chapter Eighteen

The Cutie Mark Crusaders were at Zecora's shack, while the zebra herself stirred tea and watched the three fillies flipping through some thick books and making measurements.

"…And that's why we want to learn how to do acupuncture," Apple Bloom was saying. "I know it's not from your lands, but we figured you might have picked somethin' up."

Zecora brought the tea tray to them and looked at the cover of the book Apple Bloom was holding protectively. "Mechanical engineering, hmm?" she said. "No easy task… I may be too afraid to ask."

"Why does everypony keep saying that?" Scootaloo demanded.

"Come on, Zecora, you're our last hope," Apple Bloom said. "I know you know about medicine from everywhere in the world, please tell me you can deliver."

Zecora paused, then pulled a dusty old book off of her uniformly dusty shelf. "Acupuncture is not my bailiwick, but this book ought to do the trick," she said, placing it on the table.

"Bailiwick?" Scootaloo said blankly.

"Stick a sock in it, dear sweet foal," Zecora said affectionately, ruffling Scootaloo's mane. "Is this about your cutie mark goal?"

"Of course," said Apple Bloom. "We're gettin' too old to have no cutie marks, it's startin' to get ridiculous."

"Too old?" Zecora scoffed. "You are most certainly not—you should be happy for what you've got. Before a cutie mark gives lasting joy, you have to spend a few years giggling about boys."

"Actually, I think that's true," Scootaloo said thoughtfully. "A lot of the fillies at school never shut up about which colts are cute or hot or whatever. With the comparing notes on dates and the building a perfect colt out of the guys on the swim team? Ick, I don't wanna turn into one of them."

"I'm not worried," Sweetie Belle said, shrugging. "I mean, I already like colts."

Zecora chuckled as she walked back to her stove. "You may think you do now, but… but, um… uh…" She stopped in her tracks as she trailed off.

"Zecora?" Apple Bloom said in surprise.

"…Damn it," Zecora said dully. She rushed over to one of her cupboards, muttering in her native language, then to the Crusaders' surprise launched into a rapid-fire, rhythmless rant. "Sixteen years speaking only in couplets that I'm never gonna get back. Such a ridiculous place to draw a blank, it should have been easy. Am I right?" She looked expectantly at the girls.

"Um… are you okay, Zecora?" Apple Bloom said cautiously.

"Fine, fine, just mad at myself," Zecora muttered. She had pulled a wooden bowl out of her cupboard, painted bright red and carved with various symbols, and walked it into her kitchen to fill it with water. "Honestly, this actually isn't my first slip-up in all these years," she went on. "But before now, it was always behind closed doors." She produced a flint and tinder. "Not that my religion makes much distinction 'twixt what I do alone or in front of company… ah, praise the goddess," she said, smiling as she ignited the tinder and set fire to the water in her bowl.

"You know," Apple Bloom admitted, "I always assumed that you spoke in rhyme 'cause somepony put a curse on you."

Zecora laughed, then recited, "Most folk think that, and I see why they would. But no, it's a discipline of my priestesshood."

"Oh hey, you're back to normal," Apple Bloom said, smiling. "Don't stay mad at yourself for very long, do ya?"

"My devotion to my faith shall never be gone; if I mess up, I simply put my saddle back on," Zecora said proudly. "I've been doing this for sixteen years—ah, but I must atone for my brief mistake, my dears."

"Oh…" Apple Bloom said solemnly. "What do you have to do to atone?"

"Things that ponies should not see, for they must stay betwixt my goddess and me," Zecora replied sternly.

"Betwixt?" Scootaloo muttered.

"I gotcha, Z," Apple Bloom said hastily. "We'll get outta your hair. C'mon girls."

"Okay," Scootaloo said, collecting their books. "Thanks for the book, Zecora."

Sweetie Belle followed the others, looking apprehensively at Zecora's flaming bowl of water. While the water continued to burn pleasantly, the wooden bowl seemed to be undamaged. "You're not gonna hurt yourself, are you?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"No, no, I'll be fine," Zecora said. "Now go…" She looked toward the heavens reflectively. "I must tow the line."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"I always knew Zecora was disciplined, but that's amazing," Apple Bloom chattered as the three returned to Ponyville. "Imagine how sharp and slick her mind is after doin' that for sixteen years. I can't imagine doing anything for sixteen years."

"Yeah," Scootaloo agreed. "Not even… you know, living."

"So what do we do now?" Sweetie asked.

"We've got engineering and acupuncture," Apple Bloom said. "That leaves… magic. That's the last thing we need to look up… " She thought for a second. "I get why ponies don't want to know what we're doin'."

"Hey, you guys."

The Crusaders stopped in their tracks. Silver Spoon was standing in the middle of the road to Ponyville, directly in their path.

"Um… hi?" Sweetie Belle managed after a long and awkward silence.

"What are you up to?" Silver Spoon said in a friendly tone.

"Why do you want to know?" Scootaloo challenged.

"I dunno… I'm interested."

The Crusaders exchanged glances with one another.

"I… guess you've been talking to Soup Spoon?" Sweetie Belle said hesitantly.

"Yeah, where is she?" Scootaloo said. "You abandon her again?"

"We better go find her," Apple Bloom said decisively. "Come on. Where'd you dump her this time, Silv?"

Silver Spoon gaped at them in disbelief. "…Seriously? You still think that was my 'cousin'? No red flags there for ya? Sheesh, I used to think you three were smart."

"What are you talkin' about?" Apple Bloom demanded.

"OMC, you guys—I'm Soup Spoon!" Silver Spoon snapped, removing her glasses. "How hard do you think it is to put in contact lenses and a dorky little dress? Przewalski, I spent the whole day thinking you'd figure it out any minute…"

"So, why did you disguise yourself as a fictional cousin?" Apple Bloom said cheerfully.

"To hang out with you guys," Silver Spoon said, putting her glasses back on. "No prejudices or preconceived notions from our past 'relationship', just regular, open-minded hanging-out… ness. So, I'm thinking, now that we all know we can have fun together, we can hang out some more. Yeah?"

The Crusaders hesitated for barely a second.

"Oh, come ON!" Silver Spoon roared. "I'm offering you dweebs the chance of a lifetime here!"

Apple Bloom stepped toward Silver Spoon, trying to keep tranquil and unexpressive. "So first you pretend to be somepony else, then you insult us and act like you're doing us a favor? Interesting method of making friends. Let us know how it works out for ya." She passed Silver Spoon, accompanied by the other two.

"And it's pronounced 'Chevalski', not 'Purr-za-walski'," Scootaloo supplied.

"'P-R-Z' makes a 'ch' sound?" Silver Spoon said blankly. "That's messed up."

"Isn't it, though?"

"You're walking away from me?" Silver Spoon fumed. "Well, fine! Clearly I misjudged your coolness."

"Well, maybe you can mull over what rejection feels like for a while, huh?" Scootaloo shot over her shoulder.

"'She who fights bitches', pal!" Silver Spoon sneered.

Sweetie Belle halted in her tracks. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo turned to her, mildly surprised.

"She's right, you guys," Sweetie Belle said.

"Huh?" Apple Bloom blurted.

"Just because she's been hurting us for years, we don't have the right to hurt her back," Sweetie Belle said thoughtfully. "That doesn't accomplish anything. But if we offer our friendship… you never know what could happen. Friendship is magic—nothing but mystical, wonderful magic." She turned around and walked back to Silver Spoon. "Silver Spoon, I'm sorry," she said. "That was very wrong of us, to do and say those things. Do you still want to hang out?"

Silver Spoon sighed and stared at the ground. "Yeah," she muttered. "Thanks."

"Now listen," Sweetie Belle said gently, putting a hoof on Silver Spoon's shoulder. "You can't expect unconditional, out-of-nowhere friendship here. For instance, you mentioned our past relationship was a bit unfriendly, which is why you wore a disguise—but not once did you apologize for what you've done in the, um… aforementioned past."

"Apologize?" Silver Spoon said, wrinkling her nose. "Oh, come on, I shouldn't have to… I mean, it's a meaningless—thing."

"No, no," Sweetie Belle said firmly. "My mother says it's the most important thing ponies can do for one another. She says if more ponies apologized instead of making excuses, the world would be a lot more harmonious."

"You are sorry, right?" Apple Bloom said.

"Of course," Silver Spoon mumbled. "Why else would I be here?"

"Then say it," Scootaloo said.

There was silence.

"I can't do it, I still have dignity," Silver Spoon said.

"Dignity means you can apologize," Apple Bloom countered kindly.

"Okay," Silver Spoon forced out. "I'm s… I'm s… I am so, so… sssssseeaiary. SORRY!" she blurted. "About the teasing, and excluding, and stealing the wheels off your scooter when we were really little…"

"That was YOU?" Scootaloo demanded.

Silver Spoon grinned nervously. "All in the past, right Scootaloo?"

"Sure," Scootaloo said reluctantly. "And… I'm sorry too, about just now."

"Yeah, same here," Apple Bloom added.

"Isn't it nice to be apologized to?" Sweetie Belle said brightly, pulling the other three into a strangling hug. "Now we can all be together like real friends!"

The four of them started back into Ponyville, Silver Spoon walking with the others like an equal.

"Hey," she said after a bit of walking, "if we can attach conditions, I got one too. Diamond Tiara can't find out about this."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's askin' too much," Apple Bloom said, stepping in front of Silver Spoon. "We agreed to friendship, not an affair. We don't have the time or energy to hide all of this."

Silver Spoon was silent. "…Please?" she finally said lamely.

"Why do you care what Diamond Tiara thinks?" Sweetie Belle challenged.

"I… I don't know!" Silver Spoon grumbled. "I grew up next door to her. She's like my sister. I'll tell her when I'm good and ready, but you as my friends should accept my other friends."

"We're gonna regret this, aren't we?" Scootaloo muttered.

"So, what," Apple Bloom demanded, "when she's around and she's tormenting us, you're just gonna let her?"

Silver Spoon scowled, rubbing her forehead with a hoof. "If it comes to that, I'm sorry in advance. It's just… she's my best friend in the whole world, and I'd never try to make her change, just… see things differently, a little bit, you know? So all my friends can hang out."

"Well, that just raises the question," Sweetie Belle said. "Why do you want to be our friend?"

"You three always stick together," Silver Spoon said. "And… I like you, or whatever. And Tiara could learn to like you too, if you'd just let me work on her a bit."

"Work on her," Scootaloo repeated. "Can a pony be 'worked on'?"

Apple Bloom shrugged. "Well, we should… we should all believe in our friends, and expect the best from them. That's what Silver Spoon is doin', so we'll do it too. In fact, I'm gonna write that down."

"Ooh, ohh," Silver Spoon said eagerly. "Can I write the letter to Princess Celestia?"

"You bet," Apple Bloom said. "C'mon, Silver Spoon, let me show ya what we Crusaders have been workin' on…"