Romance and the Fate of Equestria

Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Nine

The six friends loitered in Ponyville Plaza. None of them spoke to each other, each one lost in thought. The only movement came from Pinkie, who was juggling assorted fruits for Fluttershy's amusement, and Rainbow, distanced from the others and sharing a prolonged, passionate kiss with Derpy, the only other pony in the square.

Celestia lurked around the edge of the plaza for a moment, before taking a deep breath and walking out among the picnic tables. "Hello, all."

They all exclaimed in surprise and delight at the sight of her, several of them saying "Princess Celestia!" in near unison. Celestia smiled at that.

"Ah, that brings back memories," she said. "Well, let's see… I'd love to stay and talk for a bit, but it feels like I just saw you, like there's nothing more to add. Rainbow, how's the broken wing?"

"Oh, it's fine," said Rainbow. She hopped out of her seat, Derpy on her back, and began doing push-ups with her wings. Derpy giggled as she bobbed up and down.

"Well, that's good," said Celestia. "Twilight, darling, can I have a word?"

Entranced, Twilight stood up and approached. "Absolutely, Princess. What can we do?"

"Walk with me," said Celestia. "I'll tell you when we get back to the library."

They walked together, in a perfect, comfortable silence that lingered on and on. It took minutes to reach the library, and Twilight opened the door, beckoned Celestia through, and followed her through.

They stood together in the foyer, neither of them speaking for a time.

"I'm having a bit of a… a romance-related issue you might be able to help me with," Celestia said evasively.

"Really?" said Twilight, her eyes wide. "You're coming to me for advice in my field? Oh my gosh! Um… what's the issue, Princess?"

Celestia inspected Twilight's expression carefully for signs of pretense. "You really don't know?"

"I don't think so," Twilight said anxiously. "Should I?"

"No," Celestia muttered. "Just checking. I suppose I'm trying to avoid confessing to it… but that is not to be. So, here's the thing… last night, I… I had a one-night stand."

"Oh," Twilight said blankly. "Huh. Well, um… good for you, Princess."

Celestia raised an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't approve of that sort of thing."

"It's not a blanket disapproval," said Twilight. "It's not like I think it automatically makes you evil or anything. We all have needs. I mean, everypony knows it's been eighty years since you had… yeah. Towering Inferno, right? The railroad guy?"

"Oh, sure, that's common knowledge," Celestia grumbled. "Well, I guess it's not as embarrassing as last night."

Twilight tilted her head curiously.

"So… don't go congratulating me just yet," Celestia said wryly. "My problem is this: it was with a pony I consider a good friend. And when he learned that I had intended it as a one-night thing, he was… he was very hurt. And he stormed off, and I haven't been able to contact him, and I've just been… it feels terrible, it's not sitting right with me at all, and I just don't know what to do."

Twilight's eyes widened even further. "Oh my gosh. It was Discord, wasn't it? You slept with Discord!"

Celestia scowled. "So you did know."

"No, not at all," Twilight said hastily. "But… you don't have as many secrets from me as you used to, Princes, and I can't think of any other creature that you're close enough to that you would speak of that way."

"I suppose you're right," Celestia admitted.

They stood in silence for a moment, their eyes not quite on each other.

"He came to me," Celestia finally said. "Trying to coax me into taking the Elements of Harmony out of him. I, um… I turned it back to him with some tricks I've been keeping in my proverbial back pocket for hundreds of years for just such an opportunity, and I got him to remove the love spell on me. And then I… yeah."

Twilight nodded. "Pieces being put together. So you're not in love with him anymore?"

"No, but I do care for him," Celestia said in a pained voice. "He's been with me for many years, and… honestly, the things he did with his freedom ever since his escape two years ago? They've been much less evil than what he used to be capable of. Ugh. Perhaps my perception has been simply askew because of how long he held me prisoner in my own head. What's that called?"

"Stockholm Syndrome," Twilight said solemnly.

"Is that it?" Celestia said absently. "That was my first guess, but I could have sworn there was some sort of pony-related word in it somewhere."

"No, that's it."

"Hrmm. All right." She bowed her head expectantly.

Twilight nodded back. "Well… he has every right to be upset, but you can't deny he deserved what he got."

"Did he, though?" Celestia said sadly. "He came crawling to me, almost literally, begging for mercy. He's having a terrible time of it among the changelings."

"Well, you can't have given him what he asked for!" Twilight exclaimed. "You can't trust him at his full power, Princess, you know that. Even if somehow all he gained back was his ability to lie, that would make him far too dangerous."

"Of course," said Celestia. "But… I could have simply refused him. Does anyone deserve to be deceived and used in such a manner? I mean… anyone? Doing evil things to evil creatures is nothing but a vicious cycle. And I have a tough time believing Discord even counts as evil anymore."

Twilight nodded, deep in thought.

"In short… I thought that doing this would be satisfying, but it was most assuredly not," Celestia sighed.

"I'm sorry, Princess."

"What… do you think I should do?" Celestia sighed.

Twilight pondered the matter. "Well… if you're feeling this much remorse, you simply must apologize to him."

"He's blocked off our mental connection. It's not gone, it's just… I can't reach him right now."

"Then you can do nothing but wait until he's ready to hear you," said Twilight, shrugging. "And no matter how long that takes, just apologize right away."

"I suppose so," Celestia mumbled.

Twilight gave a small smile. "Princess, may I say it's an honor to be giving you advice."

"I'm glad you like it," said Celestia, smiling back sadly. "I have always seen you as an equal, Twilight. Or… since your mid-teens, at least. I'm glad you can feel the same way at this point." She gave a deep sigh. "Well, I'll let you know if there are any updates in this case that you ought to know about, whether it's Discord allowing me to speak to him again or just that I'm, I dunno, carrying his foal."

Twilight blanched. "Erm… is that likely?"

"No. Honestly, I don't think I can get pregnant, but if anypony could do it, it would be him. Nigh-omnipotent god of chaos and whatnot. Still a long shot, but between that and karma… there's a chance."

Twilight nodded, not knowing how to answer that other than to change the subject. "Do you… do you really believe in karma, Princess?"

"Oh, I'd say so… sort of," said Celestia, perking up a bit at the question. "There are a lot of theories about such a concept… karma… fate… the universe… some sort of god with all capital letters or at least a big G… whatever you call it, it amounts to the same thing: everything happening for a reason, everything being part of some big plan, actions having metaphysical consequences to the balance of good and evil, everything seeking out some sort of balance and harmony."

"And you believe in that?"

"I must," Celestia said simply. "If there's nothing out there greater than myself, then all that's out there is… well, me. And I don't much like the idea of me, the kind of pony who has one-night stands, being the greatest force there is. Perhaps it's just wishful thinking about something big and all-knowing being out there looking out for us all, but sometimes I look at the beauty and mystery of the universe, and I think, this can't be something that just… happened. Surely, I tell myself, it was planned."

Another silence fell over the two of them, this was peaceful and contented.

"So, gosh…" Twilight commented. "Discord. You slept with him."

"Er… yes, yes I did."

"W-what was that like, if I may ask?" Twilight said nervously.

"Honestly?" said Celestia. "It was fantastic. Perhaps not the most pleasurable experience of my life, but… certainly my best experience in the bedroom by a huge margin. Top, oh, twenty best evenings of my life, I'd say, and I can safely say none of the other sex I've ever had cracks the top ten thousand."

"I see," said Twilight. "That's… evocative. If a bit mathematical."

Celestia chuckled. "It's said in some circles, and no doubt you've heard it before, that ponies are the best lovers, and perhaps that's true, but…" She held up a hoof. "No hands. If you're ever fortunate enough to have a lover with hands… it's quite extraordinary."

"I… I think you're extraordinary, Princess," said Twilight. "And not just in the goddess, queen way… in the ways that you're just like everypony else."

A lump rose in Celestia's throat, and a tear fell from her eye. "You are… too kind, my love."