Romance and the Fate of Equestria

Well, happy July, y'all. I'm not quite done with massage school yet, still got another month, but it's a lighter load now as I near the home stretch, and I'm going to see if I can fulfill my promise of a triumphant return, at least for this month.

By August I'm going to be at my grandpa's house, which has been the cause of several previous months-long absences, and this time I intend to stay with him for several years and make a name for myself in the local theatre scene. Not to worry; once I get a massage job, the first thing I'm gonna do is get some Internet in Grandpa's house so I can keep up this story and, you know, life in general. I have a lot of creative projects going on right now, and I'll use these Author's Notes to direct you RFE fans toward them if and when it occurs to me to do so, but I will not lose sight of RFE's importance, someday it'll be weekly again and we'll ride that weekly streak all the way to the end of the story.

…So, how about that William Shatner episode? What a tear-jerker, and way to downplay the special guest stars instead of having them take over the whole episode, that was a refreshing change. And that movie trailer? Hell yeah.

On another note, the fact that I made the decision early on not to give the chapters individual titles is really starting to haunt me, now that I have so much story I have to go back and cross-reference for continuity. Fortunately I have a sheet of paper that reminds me what each chapter is about, but still. I'm wondering if maybe I should try to continue the illustration project past Part One so I have visual aids of which chapter contains which events…

Chapter One Hundred and Sixty-Seven

Applejack quietly pushed open the door of Apple Bloom's bedroom and stepped in. "Hey, AB."

Apple Bloom, leaning back in her bed, glanced up from her book. "Oh, hey Applejack. What's up?"

"Havin' trouble sleepin'," said Applejack. "You know how it is… those two." She cocked her head toward Apple Bloom's wall, on the other side of which was Big Macintosh's room, its door across the hall from Applejack's. "Same as it is every night. First the bed creaks for a while and then once that's done they talk all night."

"And that drives you crazy because you can't hear a word they're sayin'," Apple Bloom said wisely.

"Not a word!" Applejack said in frustration. "What the heck do they talk about all night long, every single night? You'd think they'd run out of stuff to say by now. Any chance you got better acoustics here in your room?"

"Well, if they were anypony else, I'd say yes," said Apple Bloom, "you can hear into this room from here much better than you can from your room."

"What do you mean if they were anypony else?"

"Sadly, Mac and Shy are the two quietest ponies in the universe," Apple Bloom said dryly. "So, my room's no good. You can barely hear what they're sayin' while they're doin' it—not that I ever, you know, tried—and when they're just sittin' there, talkin', you can forget it. I'm with you, I'd love to hear what they're talkin' about all night, but I just can't. Even when I put my ear right up against the wall, it's better, but still not enough to understand the words."

"Hmm," Applejack said thoughtfully. "Guess we'll have to listen at their door."

"Guess so!" Apple Bloom said brightly, hopping out of bed.

They padded quietly to the door to Big Mac's bedroom and pressed their ears up against it.

"I'm so excited," Big Mac was saying.

"I'm glad you are."

"Mind if I feel your belly?"

Fluttershy giggled. "It's way too early to feel the baby, you silly boy, but of course you can. Feel all you want."

There was a tender silence as he gently ran his hooves across her belly.

"Enjoy it, okay?" she said softly. "Enjoy feeling me all over while you still can, 'cause my belly's gonna get a lot bigger and then, among other things, other changes… I'm not gonna be the best of lovers… not for quite some time…"

"Best of lovers?" he said blankly.

"Am I a good lover?" she said anxiously.

"It's like you can read my mind," he assured her. "You're perfect."

"Awww…"

"And you made me a better lover."

"Oh, you were a pretty good lover before we even met, from what I've heard," Fluttershy said shyly.

"I was a'ight," he said casually. "But you don't become a good lover by sleepin' with lots and lots of ponies, you do it by… pickin' one pony and stickin' with 'em. Learnin' what's good… for them. I'm very happy to be a one-mare stallion. To be with one pony… forever."

Fluttershy went red. "You… you're so sweet."

After a very long moment of calm, comfortable silence, Fluttershy spoke again. "You've told me so many secrets about your past. And me, well… I don't really have a past. But I have a secret of my own. A confession. Not really a bad thing, just… something I haven't been able to tell anypony before."

"What is it?" he said in concern.

Applejack and Apple Bloom pressed themselves even closer to the door, excited.

"Months ago… at the Bazaar…" said Fluttershy. "There was this banquet. And everypony went. But I just couldn't. I couldn't stand the idea of going. You and I had just broken up, and… I couldn't bear the thought of going to any kind of gathering without you." A sob started to creep into her voice. "So I just stayed in my hotel room that night, just lying in bed, eating chocolate strawberries and drinking champagne and… touching myself. Which, now that I say it out loud, sounds like a pretty gratifying way to spend an evening alone, I should do that again if I ever get a weekend to myself, it sounds fun. But it didn't feel like much fun at the time. It was miserable."

He took a moment to respond. "I'm sorry I did that, honey."

"Don't worry about it," said Fluttershy, snuggling up closer to him. "You make me feel so safe, Macky."

He held her tight. "I feel the same."

The two sisters backed away from the door. "Maybe we should stop listenin'," Apple Bloom said sheepishly.

"That's what I was thinkin'," Applejack said grimly. "Hoo-ee, that there is some heavy pillow talk."

"I wonder if it's always that deep…" Apple Bloom mused.

"Maybe," said Applejack. "What the heck do we know about what ponies talk about after sex…"

"Guess we don't," said Apple Bloom.

They beamed at each other.

"Listen, Apple Bloom…" said Applejack. "I know you're at that really confusing and terrifying age, if you'll pardon the cliché, and… well, just so you know, if you ever have any questions about sex or body stuff, you feel free to ask your big sister. And when I say your big sister, I mean Fluttershy, 'cause I don't know the first thing about sex."

"Heh," Apple Bloom chuckled appreciatively. "Well, you have my word I won't pick up any firsthoof knowledge about it before you do."

"Much appreciated," said Applejack, grinning. "I'll keep you posted."

They headed back to Apple Bloom's room, where they merely lounged around in silence for a moment.

"So, uh… listen…" said Applejack. "In light of that confession that Fluttershy just made… mind if I make one? Just somethin' I gotta get off my chest."

"Absolutely, Applejack," Apple Bloom said sincerely. "I know opening up and being honest is important to ya. What's up?"

"Remember when I tried to hook Rarity up with Braeburn?"

"Uh-huh."

"The reason I did that… wasn't for such an altruistic reason as makin' Rarity happy, though it was that too," Applejack said anxiously, scratching one of her front legs with the other and averting her eyes. "It was more… a way to help myself resist temptation."

"What do you mean?"

"Well… with Braeburn stayin' here… single… mopin' around the house all the time… I reckon if I'd had to look at him like that for one more day, I'd probably try to seduce him myself."

Apple Bloom's jaw dropped.

"Yeah," Applejack said grimly.

"Applejack!" Apple Bloom gasped.

"I know, I know…"

"He's our cousin!"

"I know."

"Our first cousin."

"I know, all right? Keep your voice down." Applejack sighed, disgruntled. "I know it's gross, that's why I tried to… not… do it."

"But you couldn't just not do it," Apple Bloom said in disbelief. "You had to try."

"Yes."

"Like folks don't make those kinds of jokes about the Apple family often enough," Apple Bloom muttered.

"I know, okay?" said Applejack, scowling at her. "You know, you're takin' this a mite more judgmental-like than I thought you would, sis."

"Sorry," Apple Bloom said hurriedly. "I just… sheesh. I suppose it's better than confessin' that you actually did it…"

"Well… there you go," Applejack said simply. "Had to get it off my chest. Now you know."

"I didn't wanna know that!" Apple Bloom exclaimed.

"Well, somepony had to."

"Makin' it my burden, huh?"

Applejack shrugged. "Not mine anymore," she said cheerfully.

Apple Bloom shook her head in amusement. "I guess I can bear that burden for ya, big sister. But you owe me one. That is one sick secret!"

Applejack chuckled. "All right. I'm sorry."

They stood in silence for a moment, taking in the sounds of Mac and Fluttershy still speaking to each other unintelligibly.

"Well, goodnight," Applejack said gently.

"'Night, AJ. You're still number one in my book."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Endnotes

So, the revealing of secrets… here's why I chose to reveal those secrets. First of all, the banquet chapter, which was… Chapter 64?! Jeez, this is a big story. Anyway, I realized after writing that very large chapter—a rare one in that it advanced nearly every subplot—that Fluttershy wasn't in it, while all the rest of the six were in there very prominently. So I wondered why, probably chewed on it more than I should have, and came to the conclusion that perhaps she's not in the chapter because she simply wasn't at the event, and that in all likelihood she was in her hotel room still moping about her breakup. I liked the imagery of that, especially of the later idea that she made it into a romantic evening shut in with herself, but the Bazaar story arc being so far in the past at that point… was perfectly fine, because it worked far better as a semi-dramatic reveal than it would have to attempt to visit it while it was happening.

As for Applejack being tempted by Braeburn, well, that's something that I originally intended to explicitly state in that tiny story arc, but I figured it was too inappropriate even for this story. As dirty as things can get here, there were lines I wasn't willing to cross, especially after already having gotten criticism for starting to take the sex elements overboard, which I think played a hand in one of my longest-running reviewers leaving the story entirely. But I have a crippling reluctance to kill my darlings; generally, I merely repurpose them, so the solution was once again to allude to it later. As a follow-up to Fluttershy's confession seemed to be the way to go.

There definitely are lines I don't cross in this story. Things don't get very explicit, I don't think. The limitations of making a pony sex comedy became clear in my short-lived Equestria Girls deadfic, The Vice Principal in the Moon. The human characters allowed for jokes and scenarios I couldn't pull off with ponies, namely the topics of nudity and boobs. But they still had their origins as ponies, so I wasn't willing to push the envelope very far there either.

But I have been pushing the envelope in something new. In the single month between the previous chapter and this one, I posted 25 chapters of a new story, Princess Party, a massive Disney Princess crossover (modern Disney Princess, that is, all the 2010s ones). There have been sexual themes in nearly every story I've posted on this site, but Princess Party is my first story that's genuinely erotic, among all the comedy and epic adventure and whatnot. I came up with the idea for Princess Party barely three months ago and yet my plans for it are already far bigger than RFE plans have ever been. It's pretty exciting! I honestly can't hype it enough. If you're into modern Disney, check it out, and let's be honest, who isn't? We all belong to Disney. So, check that out if you've got the time, because… well, the current chapter-to-review count is 5-to-1 and I'd really rather it was the other way around, so, yeah, help a brother out.