Romance and the Fate of Equestria

Word on the street about the Season 4 finale is that, among other things, a villain escapes from Tartaros and, whoever this villain may be, Celestia decides Discord is the one qualified to stop them. Boy, that rings a bell somewhere, where have—oh right, it's yet another plot element stolen directly from this story. You know, it's time like these that I really fucking hate My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. XD

Was that an emoticon in my Author's Note? Damn, I've become over-reliant on those. I had no other means with which to communicate that I was kidding. Next thing you know they'll start appearing in my actual writing. Hehe.

EDIT: I've just seen the finale, so allow me to say, if you'll indulge me… slippin' rippin' dang fang rotten zarg barg a ding dong! So much stuff in that episode that I was going to use in this very plotline. I mean, not "was", I'm still gonna write exactly what I had always planned to, but damn. Counterpoint, it was the best season finale ever, coming on the heels of the show's best season yet, and I'm proud to be a part of this fandom.

Chapter One Hundred and Five

A massive wooden warship sailed above the clouds in the northern reaches of Equestria. The six pony friends, wearing heavy cloaks and carrying saddlebags, stood on the majestic aerial trireme's deck, bracing to keep their balance against the high-altitude winds.

"Oh yeah!" Rainbow crowed, hunched over from the cold, her teeth chattering. "This is the only real way to travel!"

"We're approaching our mark soon!" Twilight called to the others. "We're almost at the border!"

"And the ship lands at the border?" Applejack shouted.

"The ship lands back in Canterlot," Twilight corrected. "We land a mile or so across the border, in the northern forest."

"What?" Applejack said in bewilderment.

"We don't want to risk the changelings spotting the ship," Twilight explained, still yelling over the wind. "So it's going to hide in the clouds while we air-drop down to the forest. Less chance of being detected that way."

"Air-drop?" Fluttershy squealed in panic.

"Fluttershy," Rainbow said patiently. "You aren't getting air-dropped. You'll be flying."

"Oh," said Fluttershy, blushing red. "Right."

Twilight heaved herself onto the railing of the ship. "Applejack and Pinkie, stay close to me. I'll cushion our fall with magic. Rarity, you jump after us. Rainbow and Fluttershy, stick with Rarity, catch her as she gets closer to the trees. Everypony clear?"

"Crystal," said Rainbow, saluting.

Twilight hooked her elbows around those of Applejack and Pinkie Pie. In unison, the three of them jumped off the trireme and plummeted toward the ground face-first, the wind stinging their faces and whipping through their manes and cloaks as they passed through a layer of clouds.

They emerged a few seconds later, dripping with water droplets, still plummeting toward the ground at increasing speed. Below, they saw the landscape of northwestern Equestria, and a wavy line where pale green grass gave way to a pine forest. Twilight angled their descent and they sailed further toward the forest.

Seconds passed, then more, the treetops growing larger and larger. Finally, Twilight's horn lit up and the three of them stopped falling, instead slowly drifting toward the ground, not unlike a feather or a leaf, except that their descent was straight down rather than aimless on the breeze.

Applejack pulled out her hat from underneath her cloak and put it back on her head. "Whoo! What a rush," she remarked. "That's how you get the blood pumpin'!"

Rainbow and Fluttershy dropped to the ground alongside the three of them. "Where's Rarity?" Twilight said sharply.

"Oh, she didn't need our help," Rainbow chuckled, pointing over Twilight's shoulder.

Rarity was drifting through the trees, dressed in a frilly dress which was swept out like a pair of wings, an umbrella mounted on her back seemingly also keeping her aloft. She slowly made her way to earth, her hooves daintily touching the forest floor.

"Rarity…" Twilight said uncertainly, squinting at the loud outfit.

"Not to worry, darling," Rarity said hurriedly. With a poof and a cloud of smoke, the outfit and umbrella disappeared, leaving Rarity once again wearing just her saddlebags and a cloak. "I'm prepared to dress practically for this mission."

Discord, at the diminutive size he occasionally reverted to, crept out of Twilight's saddlebag and sat atop her head. "I'm here to navigate and to fight as needed, ladies," he said cordially. "Let's get this done, shall we?"

Rainbow reared up on her hind legs and rubbed her front hooves together. "I am so ready for this! I broke out some Golden Thread. Check it." She presented her arm, and Twilight could see thin lines of Thread wrapped around the limb. "I mean, I know this gig is infiltration, but just in case, I'm ready to kick some changeling butt." She hopped away from Twilight and punched a tree, her hoof going clear through its trunk.

"All right, Dash, just don't let all that power go to your head," Twilight said cautiously.

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "Who, me? Don't be stupid. What kind of preparations did you make?"

In response, Twilight levitated two bundles of parchment out of her saddlebags. "This is Cadance's data on changelings," she said, lifting one up high. "I've skimmed it; it may come in handy. And this, this one is a book of advanced spellwork, of the kind used in wartime. I've studied it a few times over the years. It's fairly brutal; we'll only be using it as a last resort." She floated the stacks back into one of her bags, adjusting them carefully.

"Of course, all of this stuff is a last resort," Applejack said pointedly. "We're not gonna go around thwacking things unless we absolutely have to. That bein' said, RD, can you float me some Thread?"

"Sure thing," said Rainbow, pulling a bundle of Golden Thread out of her bag with a wing. Applejack took it and started wrapping it around her limbs and torso. "I'll keep that in mind, that it's just for emergencies," Rainbow went on. "Guess I got a bit overeager to fight. Sorry I punched a hole through Fluttershy."

"What?" Fluttershy said blankly.

Applejack snorted and laughed. "Heh, the old 'Fluttershy is a tree' joke. We haven't done that one in a while. That was awesome."

"Let's go, everypony," Twilight chuckled. "We don't know how much ground we have to cover. Let's find ourselves a changeling army and cut it off at the source."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Much later, the six of them continued walking through the forest, walking at a slow pace, setting their hooves on the ground as gently as possible to not make any noise.

"So… anypony read a good book recently?" Applejack said softly.

"Just a whole lot about changeling culture and advanced spellwork," said Twilight, shrugging. "Which was fascinating, but I'd only call them 'good books' under vastly different circumstances."

Discord chuckled from where he sat on her head, eyes closed, legs crossed, and hands held aloft in a meditative position.

"Rainbow, how about you?" said Twilight. "You haven't talked about Daring Do recently. What gives?"

"Oh, I kind of quit in the middle of book five," Rainbow said uncertainly. "Gilda gave away that Daring marries Cultiste, and I don't think I want to keep reading if that's what happens…"

"Daring doesn't marry Cultiste," Twilight said in surprise.

"What?" Rainbow demanded sharply.

"No… that only happened in the radio drama," said Twilight.

"There's a Daring Do radio drama?" Rainbow gasped.

"If you're a fan of the books, no. No there isn't," Twilight said wryly. "After the radio show overtook the books, the writers made up the stories themselves, including getting Daring together with Cultiste, even though… well, I won't ruin the actual events of the story for you."

"Oh, that's so good to know!" Rainbow said eagerly. "What a relief… So, wait, that must mean Gilda only knows the series from the radio version. Ha, I'm so gonna nail her for that. And I'm gonna get back to reading that book, finally catch up on the series! You know… if we get out of this changeling thing alive, of course."

"Of course," Twilight muttered.

They continued walking for a few moments.

"I miss Derpy," Rainbow said conversationally. "I love her so much… I mean, I really love her. You know?"

"Yes, we do know," Twilight said in exasperation. "You've been saying that every five minutes."

"Every five minutes on the dot," Rainbow said smugly. "I was just waiting for somepony to notice."

Twilight snorted in derision. "You're such a whore."

Rainbow doubled over in laughter, and the others gave out tiny shrieks of shock at the unexpected retort before laughing as well.

"'Whore'?" Rainbow guffawed. "That's kind of horrible-izing things, isn't it?"

"Eh, maybe," Twilight said with a smirk.

"I mean, really though," said Rainbow. "I seriously already miss her. Is that wrong?"

"Oh, not at all," Fluttershy said tenderly.

"You know, I've had a thing for her for… pretty much forever," Rainbow said dreamily. "Sure, I wasn't willing to admit it for a while, 'cause let's face it, she's kind of a dweeb. Real good-looking, though. You know, when she's not making that scrunchy face and you can look past the wonky eyes, her facial features are actually very…" Rainbow trailed off and gave a little cough of embarrassment. "Point is, believe me when I say I know how narrowly I missed my chance with her. I've had her for what, a week? I am never taking her for granted, man. Never letting her go. When we get back from this thing, I am gonna build us a life together." She thought for a second. "Though again, that's if we get back…"

"Yes, we know, if we come back from this mission alive," Twilight said in irritation. "There's no need to keep clarifying that. It's pretty much assumed, I would think."

"Heh, sorry," Rainbow said sheepishly. "Hey, Fluttershy! You and Big Mac doing okay?"

"Of course," Fluttershy said in surprise. "W-why do you ask?"

"Well, it's just… have you been sleeping together at all since you started dating again?" Rainbow inquired.

"Um… yes."

"Oh. Okay. You hadn't said anything about it, so I wasn't sure if you'd been doing it or not…"

"Well, we have. It's… it's just not the kind of thing I usually talk about," Fluttershy peeped.

"Eh, fair enough," said Rainbow. "So, did you have mind-blowing goodbye sex with him before we left? I bet you did…"

"Didn't I just say…?" Fluttershy said blankly. "Do I have to answer that?"

"No, you don't," Rainbow said hastily. "Sorry…"

"Hey," Twilight hissed softly. "Do you hear that?"

They all fell silent, and they listened to the sound of large, whooshing wings. Something dropped to the ground from a tree, something larger than a pony, with a massive wingspan. It stood up straight and turned its yellow eyes directly upon Rainbow Dash.

"Gilda?" Rainbow demanded, stepping forward. "How did you—?"

Gilda raised a claw to slash Rainbow across the face. Rainbow reflexively backed away, and the vicious attack mostly missed, leaving Rainbow with only a small but bloody scratch on her face.

The false Gilda hunched over and spread her wings. Her outline shimmered, and she transformed into a towering changeling with purple hair and bulging green eyes. Before any of them had a split second to react, he shot a blast of black silk out of his nostrils, enveloping Rainbow in it.

Cocoon grabbed Rainbow between his hooves and spun her around and around, continuing to produce the black silk, wrapping her up in a cocoon of it. He smirked wickedly at the other ponies. "Hidey-ho," he wheezed. "Cocoon am I."

He took to the air on his gigantic purple wings, flying high away and off into the forest, carrying Rainbow Dash along with him.

"WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE!" Pinkie shrieked after him furiously. "You can quit telling us!"

"Well, we've found the changelings," Rarity said dryly.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Discord, back at his full size, slithered through the air, leading the five ponies through the forest, scanning the trees carefully. "I've got them," he said sharply, putting his mismatched feet on the ground and looking around. "Rainbow and Cocoon are both very close by… Aha." He pointed straight up. The ponies following the point and saw Rainbow, encased in black silk from the neck down, dangling upside-down from a tree branch.

"Hey," she said casually.

"I've got you, Rainbow!" Twilight called. Her horn lit up, and a whip of magic cracked through the air, severing Rainbow's connection to the tree, and she was slowly lowered to the ground.

"All right, Cocoon left us a present, let's unwrap it," Discord said cheerfully. He snapped his fingers, and nothing happened. He frowned deeply. "Hmm, that's odd. That was supposed to make the silk go away." He reached for the silk with his hands, starting to physically unwrap Rainbow, then suddenly yelped in pain and jumped backwards, staring in shock at his hands, which were now partially transparent, but slowly beginning to solidify once again.

"You all right, Dis?" Applejack said in concern.

"Been better," Discord mumbled, hunching his shoulders. "That stuff drains strength, you know. That hurt."

"And you couldn't make it disappear?" Twilight muttered. "How odd. I can handle it with my magic, as long as it's not physically touching my horn."

"Well, a power siphon works better when there's more power to siphon," Discord said dryly, his eyelids suddenly drooping. "Ooh, that wiped me out." He slowly and unevenly became small again, and he crawled toward Twilight, clambering back into her saddlebag. "I'm gonna have to doze. Wake me up if anything interesting happens."

"Well, I'll get it… are you feeling all right, Rainbow? I've been hit by that black silk, I know how much it hurts…"

"Fine," said Rainbow. "I… yes."

Twilight tilted her head as she started to pull the silk off of Rainbow's body. Rainbow looked perfectly alert, and her disjointed words didn't fit with that.

"Where's Cocoon?" Twilight asked. "How long ago did he leave you here?"

Rainbow furrowed her brow, her mind clearly working hard. "Somewhere. Minutes… a few, ago, left me…" She looked around nervously. "Damn."

Cocoon shifted out of Rainbow's shape, his long legs exploding out of the silk casing, shredding it. His two horned glowed with acid-green energy, and he shot beams of light in various directions, scattering the ponies.

"Rumors heard, have you?" said Cocoon, who had taken to the air and started circling around them. "Again gathering, kind mine, of armies, well as heard have I. Do you as just them seek, do I."

Twilight glared up at the changeling. "What did you do with Rainbow Dash?" she growled.

"Much nothing," Cocoon said casually. "Yours be soon shall fate hers." He buzzed off into the depths of the forest.

"Everypony stay together!" Twilight said frantically. "There may be other changelings around hoping to pull that same trick. Don't lose sight of each other!"

"He made it sound like he was alone, and still looking for his people," Rarity said doubtfully.

"That could easily be a bluff to put us at ease," Twilight said darkly. "Don't separate for any reason. We need to find Rainbow."

Fluttershy took the air and started scanning the treetops. "Discord said he sensed Cocoon and Rainbow. That must mean the real Rainbow is somewhere nearby."

"Well, wake him up and have him find her again," said Applejack.

"No," said Twilight, shaking her head. "I've been hit by that silk. Trust me, he needs his rest, he won't do us any good when he's that exhausted. I'll find her." She closed her eyes and did a few calming breaths, her horn pulsing with light.

"Fluttershy, look among the branches of this tree," she said, pointing to it.

Fluttershy immediately started sifting through the branches. "She's in this tree?"

"Well, somepony is," said Twilight. "Be careful."

"Eep!" Fluttershy squeaked, flinching away from the tree at the notion. "O… okay, um…" She continued pushing branches aside, searching until she found Rainbow, wrapped up in silk just as Cocoon had been when impersonating her.

"Hey, there you are," Rainbow said in relief, her upside-down face fearful and shaky as she turned.

"I've got you, Rainbow," Fluttershy said hastily, reaching out to wrap her arms around Rainbow's encased body, but she went numb and weak upon making contact with the silk cocoon, and she sunk downwards before popping back up and backing away. "Ooh… I'm sorry, I won't be able to carry you. Twilight!"

"I heard," Twilight called back. "I'll get her."

Once again, Twilight severed the strand of silk attaching Rainbow to the tree and levitated her. She began slowly lowering Rainbow down to the ground, but paused, leaving her hanging in mid-air.

"What are you doing?" Rainbow said frantically. "Come on, get me down! You gotta get me down from here, you guys! …Ladies? Come on, pleeeease!"

Applejack stood by Twilight's side. "What do you think?" she muttered covertly. "Real Rainbow, or some other changeling?"

"My first guess is 'changeling'," Twilight whispered in reply. "But I won't say for certain. Rainbow begging and panicking like that is uncharacteristic, sure, but it'd be foolish and arrogant to claim she never does it, to use that as evidence that she's actually a changeling in disguise…"

"What are you guys mumbling about?" Rainbow demanded. "Come on, you gotta free me from this Cocoon guy. He's freaking annoying. I can't understand a word he says and his breath smells really weird. HELP ME!"

"I'd like to change my vote to 'real Rainbow'," Twilight said dryly.

"Eeyup," Applejack agreed with a chuckle.

"Fortunately, I don't have to rely on my intuition, I have a way to prove it."

She shot Rainbow with an immense ray of pink energy. Rainbow plummeted to the ground, still encased in the cocoon.

"What the hell was that?" Rainbow mumbled.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to drop you," Twilight said with a nervous smile. "That was a spell to make sure you weren't a changeling. Nice to see that you're not." She unwrapped Rainbow from the black silk, and Rainbow slowly got to her hooves, her legs quivering.

"Cocoon took my stuff," she muttered. "I've lost my saddlebags and my Golden Thread. And my cloak! Damn it, my dad gave me that…"

"Right, okay," Twilight muttered. "We're gonna have to work with that… Applejack, split the Golden Thread you've got with Rainbow Dash. When it comes down to a physical fight, we'll be relying on both of you."

"All right," said Applejack, stripping off the Thread around her legs. "Think it'd be all right just to wear the horseshoes?"

"No, not the horseshoes," said Rainbow. "That won't add extra power to your punches, keep the ones around your biceps and hind legs. I'll try to rework your horseshoes into regular wrappings…"

Applejack tossed Rainbow her four golden horseshoes, and Rainbow started gnawing at one of them, loosening its fibers, then began unthreading it.

"Can I help you with that?" said Twilight. "Or Rarity could, she's good with thread…"

"No, I've got it," Rainbow said casually.

"Ooh, I think you should let the unicorns help you, Dashie," Pinkie said sharply. "You hear that?"

All the ponies fell silent and heard an intense buzzing noise.

"He's coming back, he's coming back!" Rarity cried out. "Give me that…"

Rarity's magic snatched the horseshoes from Rainbow and started disassembling them, growing increasingly frantic. She hadn't yet managed to unravel the threads when Cocoon swooped down and bowled her over, tossing her over his head with his hooked horns, then zipped away into the forest once again.

"WAAAUUUGH!" Rarity cried as she tumbled through the air and thumped to the ground.

"All right, that's it!" Rainbow Dash snarled, wearily taking to the air. "I'm not getting rubbed out by a guy whose catchphrase is 'Hidey-ho'! Get over here and sit still so we can beat your ass!"

"Fair fight never do changelings," Cocoon hissed, fluttering down for another flyby attack.

Rainbow flew up to intercept him, her hoof raised for a punch into his oncoming face. He sped up, and his skull against her hoof sent her spinning and careening, hitting a tree trunk sidelong and plummeting downward, her body scraping against the bark before she flopped, belly-first, on a branch. "Oof!" she exclaimed, before moaning in pain.

Cocoon spun, his hoof catching Fluttershy in the chin and snapping her head back. Twilight roared in anger and hurled a huge orb of electrical energy at him. He deflected it with a green shield and galloped toward her, gripping her head between his front hooves. He slammed his head against hers, and twirled around in the air to fling her off into the forest.

She sailed in an arc, unconscious until she hit the ground, landing painfully on her shoulder and rolling across the dirt. One of her saddlebags popped open, and several quills and inkwells poured out, as well as the tiny Discord.

"Divide do you," Cocoon taunted from far away. "Conquer do I."

"Ugh," Discord muttered, shakily getting to his feet. "What did I miss?"

"Oh, not a whole lot," said Twilight hastily. "Basically, Cocoon is tossing us around like rag dolls, but we can handle it." She glared determinedly in Cocoon's direction. "His lights, punch out will I!"

"You're making fun of the enemy for being dyslexic?" Discord yawned. "That's not very sporting…"

"He's not dyslexic, he's freaking crazy, and we need to defeat him! Any ideas?"

Discord blinked blearily. "I could… I could lure him towards myself, away from the rest of you, and give him a real fight."

Twilight nodded. "Sounds good."

"Erm… orders?" Discord said blankly, still half-asleep.

"No orders," said Twilight. "Just… no orders."

Discord nodded appreciatively and rubbed his eyes. "As you wish. Can you hold him off for just a few seconds so I can catch my breath?"

"Certainly."

"All right then, I'll be right back." Discord slithered off into the forest.

Twilight nodded and charged back in the direction of Cocoon, her horn sparking and cloak billowing out behind her.

She found Cocoon, putting the finishing touches on wrapping Rainbow, Rarity, and Fluttershy in his black silk. They were encased from the neck down, looking like little spools of thread; in Rarity's case, her horn was also encased in the black thread. Cocoon wore the cloaks and saddlebags of all three of them.

"Goddess-love of sister, again hello," Cocoon said cordially, bowing to her.

"To you as well, king of the changelings," Twilight replied pleasantly. "Brother of the queen, if I'm not mistaken?"

"Indeed," said Cocoon, looking impressed. He lowered his head, and his horns sparked just as Twilight's was. "Arrest under you, place do I, queen mine against crimes-war for, empire changeling of behalf on."

Discord was peering around a tree, looking slightly more awake now and preparing to snap his fingers, but tilted his head in curiosity at Cocoon's proclamation. He slunk back into the forest, watching in interest.

Twilight didn't respond in words, instead shooting a pink beam at his chest. Cocoon staggered backward in pain, his jaw going even slacker than usual.

"Applejack! Pinkie!" Twilight called. "You still out there?"

"Right here," Applejack said promptly, she and Pinkie appearing at Twilight's sides.

"Okay," Twilight said nervously. "Our goal here is to avoid capture, keep ourselves active in this battle, for the few seconds it'll take for Discord to come finish this…"

"A'ight, I'll keep him busy," said Applejack, flexing her biceps. "I'll give him a taste of Punchy McGoo and Slaps O'Hara."

Pinkie tilted her head. "I thought they were Bucky MacGillicuddy and…"

"You're thinkin' of my hind legs."

"Ah, okay," said Pinkie. "Twilight and I will provide cover fire!" She produced several heavy darts from her bags.

"Are those lawn darts?" Applejack said in shock.

"Damn straight."

"Those are illegal!"

"I've got a guy," said Pinkie.

"Okay then," said Applejack, charging at Cocoon. She jumped powerfully at the still-dazed changeling's face, slamming her front hooves into his head, her Golden Thread offering more force behind the blow, which was sufficient to make Cocoon's knees buckle. He snarled and hissed like a wild animal, swiping at her with a leg, clubbing her in the side. She braced herself and managed to resist most of the blow, being shifted aside only slightly.

Cocoon screeched as a dart plunged into his hoof. He glared at Pinkie as she casually tossed another one. He withdrew his hoof, and the dart stuck into the ground. Cocoon stood up, sidestepped Applejack, and started galloping toward Twilight. "REVENGE!" he roared. "QUEEN MINE FOR REVENGE!"

Twilight erected a shield of pure energy, and Cocoon's two horns immediately produced two beams of magic, which arced around the shield, zapping Twilight's sides. Twilight stifled a scream of pain, and her magic fizzled out.

"Proud so be will she…" Cocoon hissed gleefully.

"Where the devil is Discord?" Rarity demanded, turning her head as much as she could in her cocooned state.

"I don't know," Twilight growled, looking around furiously. "DISCORD, GET YOUR—"

Cocoon interrupted her with a glob of black silk that covered her face. She gave a muffled, weak shriek of horror. Pinkie hastily pawed at the silk, peeling it from Twilight's face and dropping it to the ground. The effects of the silk made her face look pale and sick, even gaunt. She shook her head to clear it and levitated the silk, slapping it against Cocoon's body. He laughed and embraced it, burying his face in it.

"Fool, changelings on work not, does silk mine," he sneered. "Black nor golden neither."

"Good," Twilight rasped, smirking. "That means your return to your colony will make no difference at all."

Cocoon screeched in fury and shot out an enormous torrent of the black goo, enveloping Twilight's entire body. He pounced upon Pinkie and started twirling her around like a spider with a fly, wrapping her in layers of thread.

Applejack jumped onto his back and started wildly slamming her hooves into the side of his head, but he twisted his neck and caught her under the chin with his horn, hurling her over his head. Having finished his wrapping, he jumped over the prone form of Pinkie and put all of his body weight into stomping all four of his hooves upon Applejack at once.

Seconds later, Applejack was just as tied up as all of the others. He removed the cloaks and supplies from his three new prisoners, and stacked all six ponies together, with one huge rope of silk linking them up.

"Queen mine to you take will I," he said viciously, stacking their saddlebags onto himself. "Ours be, will war this."

From the forest, a clanging sound rang out, like a huge bell. Cocoon raised his head in alarm and turned toward it. After the bell came the sound of glass shattering, followed by deranged laughter.

"This is trick what?" Cocoon muttered. He glanced at the ponies, including Twilight, trapped in her silk shell completely. "That like you, leave not can I," he said in amusement. "That like breathe you could, how?" He peeled away the silk on her face, but leaving her horn, like Rarity's, still covered.

He flew off into the forest in pursuit of the strange sounds, which included paper being crumpled, a cartoonish yoink!, and a single powerful note from a tuba.

When he was out of sight, Discord appeared, at his full size, coming out from behind a tiny sapling despite this tree being too small to conceal him. He wandered leisurely toward the six tied-up ponies, his hands clasped behind his back casually.

"He'll be chasing those sounds for a while," he chuckled. "I added a hypnotic effect to them; he'll be obsessed with finding them until they stop."

"Discord, thank goodness," Twilight sighed. "I thought you'd somehow managed to run out on us."

"No, no," said Discord. "I would… didn't do that."

"Perfect," said Twilight, that suspicious backpedal going over her head. "Get us out of here. I know it hurts you, but please, try your best. If you can free my horn, I can take care of the rest."

"Before I do, let me make sure I've got this right," Discord said. "This Cocoon fellow, he's going to take you in for crimes you committed against his queen. Does that sound accurate?"

"Um… what?" Twilight said blankly. There was something disconcerting about the way he seemed to be making no move to obey the order he had been given.

"Taking you in for justice, a bit of lawful punishment by the hoof of the queen, right?"

"I'm… I don't… what?" Twilight stammered.

"Oh, I think it's true," Discord said smugly. "This is exactly the opportunity I've been looking for."

"What opportunity?" Twilight demanded.

"Why, the opportunity to ditch you, of course!" Discord said gleefully. He turned around, showing off the Elements of Harmony embedded in his back, and started walking off into the forest. "Sayonara, ponies! I'm a free agent now! You aren't my problem anymore."

"Discord, get back here this instant!" Twilight said in disbelief.

He turned around, but didn't come closer. He spread his arms and gestured to his whole body, making sure it was clear to them that he hadn't obeyed. "Don't have to. See? And why should I listen to you? You're a bunch of criminals and I, as you all know, must behave as a law-abiding citizen."

"Discord!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Don't try to reason with me, I've already made my decision," he chuckled. "You have committed war crimes, ergo, I reject all ties to your society. It's not a perfect escape… I still have to tell the truth, and I'm still only as powerful as a lesser god, but on the plus side, now that I've severed ties to your country, I don't have to obey anypony. Not to mention, I have the Elements of Harmony and you don't. I can work with this."

"That's total crap and you KNOW it!" Rainbow snarled, trying and failing to squirm against her restraints. "Get back here, you punkass!"

"Yeaaaaaaah, that's not much incentive for me to obey you," Discord said lazily, wandering off. "Doesn't really motivate me to like you more, you understand…"

"Come on, man!" Pinkie whined. "I thought we had bonded."

"Discord, don't do this," Rarity pleaded. "What about everything you've been through with Twilight?"

Discord turned around again, slowly, his eyes wide in shock. "What we've been through?" he said softly. "What we—what we've been through? WHAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH?" He stomped back to them, fists clenched and hunched over, and got in their faces. "How—how can you even—how can you SAY THAT? What we've 'been through together' are little outings which have forced me to behave in a way counter to my basic nature! You've been turning me into something I'm not! I have no fond memories of my time spent as Twilight's guardian! None! None, do you hear me? N… none…" His firm and angry tone became weak mumbling, and he turned to stalk away again.

"Int'restin'," Applejack whispered.

He glared at her. "What's so int'restin'?"

"You can lie," said Applejack. "You can, if it's to yourself. You can say somethin' if you've fooled yourself into thinkin' it's true. I know you came to love bein' our friend, you've just let yourself believe that you didn't. That is really fascinatin', and it kinda puts everything you've said about your mother in a whole new light, don't it? Lots of ponies are in denial about how they feel about their mother…"

Discord fumed for a moment, then coldly said, "Just shut up, will you?" Once again, he turned around and started walking away furiously.

"Celestia is in love with you!" Twilight blurted.

Everypony froze, including Discord, who stopped walking but this time didn't turn around.

"What?" Fluttershy whispered. "No… it can't be. …Can it?"

"It's true, it must be!" Twilight said desperately. "That's what Celestia was hinting at, when she was saying that love might be the solution. When we were talking and planning, and before, when she invited you to the Gathering… when things are calm, when you're no threat to her and there's no need for animosity, she doesn't treat you like an ancient enemy, she treats you like an ex that she secretly wants back. And she was so thrilled about how friendly you had become! Like it touched her… personally. And maybe she was dropping clues as early as when Mitgaeard first escaped and she made that stupid mother-in-law joke about her… wow," Twilight marveled. "She's a genius, she really is, putting it all into place for me to piece together. This is what I was supposed to figure out. Celestia loves you, Discord."

He stood there, still and silent.

"If you left now, you wouldn't just be betraying Equestria," Twilight went on. "You'd be breaking the heart of a pony who's very close to you."

Discord turned around very slowly, his head down, his expression unreadable. Finally, he looked up at Twilight, and his eyes were wide with wild glee, his mouth curled in a nasty sneer. "No crap, Captain Obvious. Who do you think made her fall in love with me?"

Twilight was stunned. "Wha… what?"

Discord glanced over their heads into the forest, then walked back toward them. "We have time for one last story while Cocoon is off chasing phantasms, I suppose. It happened when Celestia and Luna were storming my castle. My castle, you understand, as in it was my every right to own it, they were the ones invading. And they… they had won. They had defeated all of my games and defenses, whipped out the 'Elements of Harmony: Mark One', and were slowly turning me to stone.

"But I don't lose a game as easily as that. I thought, what could cause Celestia—for it was Celestia who had done most of the heavy lifting, and what can I say, she was more fun—what could cause her the most severe amount of pain? The solution was simple: I had done quite a bit of studying on love, similar to what you're doing right now, and I knew there was nothing more painful than knowing that the one you love is a treacherous snake-in-the-grass who is unworthy of you, but loving them anyway. Oddly specific, I know, but it's something I had gathered through—oh no, word vomit—" He held his paw up to his mouth and muttered, "personal experience. Damn, there goes my street cred.

"But you can imagine how thrilled I was about my great idea. What if Celestia was in love with me, the creature who, in a very short period of time, had become her most hated enemy? And yet, rational enough to know that she shouldn't love me? I knew, the moment I came up with it, that even though I had been defeated, this fight was mine forever. Nothing left to do but strike a cool pose and reap the rewards." He got into the triumphant, laughing pose of his original statue, then leaned back casually.

"For the past thousand years, she's been nursing those feelings," he said smugly. "Desperate to get rid of that love while trying not to give in to the hate… as I told her then, such a conflict can make a heart sink into madness… make a mind snap. She may have started opening up recently, revealing her pained interior, but you have no idea how much she still puts that 'brave face' on, even around you. I should know, since when that battle started… I took the liberty of forging a mental bond between Celestia and myself."

"What?" Twilight shrieked in alarm.

"That's right, you really wasted your time telling me anything about Celestia's feelings or motivations, because I already know all there is to know about her," Discord chuckled. "For the past thousand years, we've lived in each other's heads. I hear every thought she has. She hears what I allow her to hear from me. I can speak to her at any time, even when I'm trapped in stone. So I had a front-row seat to my victory."

He grinned toothily, then scratched his chin and looked down at Twilight. "Just out of curiosity, why did you even bring that up? It seems like a strange thing to mention… oh, were you hoping that the 'stunning revelation' that Celestia is in love with me would make me change my mind and suddenly become loyal to you again?" He tousled Twilight's mane. "You're funny."

He flew away, his laughter fading off into the distance.

"I'm sorry, Twilight, it really seemed like you had somethin' there," Applejack said sadly. "I think you did the right thing, bringin' it up… it's not your fault he didn't go for it…"

"That was supposed to work," Twilight said, her voice cracking and her face looking catatonic. "Celestia knew that Discord would try to escape us. This was supposed to be how my studies would come full circle and love would defeat the changelings again! How did it go wrong?"

"Oh, Twilight," Fluttershy sighed sympathetically, leaning her head against Twilight's. "Maybe you misread her intent. After all, why would she need you to tell Discord she loves him? It sounds like she would know that he knew that."

"Maybe she thought hearing me say it would get him thinking…" Twilight mumbled.

"Maybe," Rarity agreed solemnly. "And maybe she thought it would work. Perhaps she thought she knew who he had become and what he would think, but was blind to who he truly still was. Being in love can do that to a pony."

A tear dropped from Twilight's eye. "She told me… she told me that she wanted to have love in her life. Getting them together was her only hope. And he rejected it… she can never love anypony else, she told me so. I've failed her."

Fluttershy extended her neck as much as she could and kissed Twilight's cheek. "I'm sorry."

They all fell silent as Cocoon, laden down by his six cloaks and six pairs of saddlebags, returned to them. "Peculiar was that," he muttered. "Sound each follow, to urge resist not could I…" He shrugged. "Matters not does it."

He wrapped a rope of his own black silk around his neck, attaching it to the rope that bound the six ponies together. He started walking through the forest, dragging them along behind him.

"You save not did Discord yours, see do I," he said over his shoulder. "Queen mine, meet to prepare. Her find shall I. Her find shall I, swear do I. Goddess-love of sister, suffer you make will she."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Endnotes

The finale coming out means I get a few months' respite from living with the constant knowledge that every week, some aspect of my story will be forever tainted by canon. Yes, knowledge. Because it does happen every week… I'll miss the show, but I'll enjoy that tension being out of my life for a while. Unfortunately, Part Two is almost done, meaning I will also be on break, and by the time I start writing again, I won't get far before the show will be back and I'll be living with that anxiety again, but… ah well. C'est la vie, as the French would say. Shakata ga nai, as the Japanese would say. Or as I would say, whaddyagonnado.