Lyra Heartstrings was much smaller than the princesses. While Celestia and Luna were about the size of an actual horse, she was about half their size, and missing a set of wings. Perhaps having both were exclusive to only the princesses.

"Uh, nice to meet you," Drake said uneasily. He crouched and put out a hand. "I'm Drake. Drake Anderson."

Lyra gasped. "Are you giving me a handshake?" She looked positively giddy.

Drake blinked. Was this a trick question? God, he hated those. "Yes?" he said slowly, preparing himself for an imminent squeal.

She grabbed his hand with both of her hooves and began to shake them excitedly. His shoulder was sore and his hand was throbbing by the time he snatched it back. Lyra giggled and reared up on her two hind legs, throwing her forelegs around his shoulders in a tight hug, completely ignoring his handshake. He looked to the princesses for help to no avail, marveling at the strength of the small unicorn who was proceeding to strangle him affectionately.

"Lyra will serve as your tour guide, so to speak, during your time in Equestria," Celestia explained sheepishly.

"She's also an anthropologist!" Luna chirped.

Anthro-what?

"Are you really from another dimension?" Lyra asked.

"Yes! Now, ungh, get off of me!"

She was like glue. It took every ounce of strength Drake had to physically pry the unicorn from him, holding her by the sides and glaring at her. She seemed oblivious to his frustration.

"Welcome to Equestria!" Lyra cheered.

Drake walked forward, dropping his bags, turning around to get a grasp on his surroundings. His heart raced as his head twisted and turned, trying to take the gorgeous summer meadow in. The air was clean and fresh, devoid of any pollutants. High in the clear, cloudless blue sky, the sun graced the land with its golden rays of light. The weather was absolutely perfect. Rolling grassy hills circled them from every direction and stretched for miles, blanketed in flowers in bloom, their petals soaked in dew, basking in the glory of the morning sun. In the distance, he could see the silhouette of a castle hanging from the side of a snow-capped mountain, a waterfall cascading down its side into a pool. A forest was nearby, thick, but pleasant and not at all foreboding or ominous. Behind him was a sprawling settlement and he could see several buildings of various shapes and forms.

"C'mon!" Lyra bolted off at a full gallop.

"There she goes," Luna chuckled.

Drake frowned, and scratched his head.

"Well? Go after her!" Celestia teased, giving him a gentle nudge with her hoof. The way she said made it sound as if he was chasing after a potential girlfriend.

"For what?"

"The welcome party! Everypony's waiting for you in Ponyville!" Luna said.

Ponyville?How original.

"Go on without us. We'll take care of your bags."

Drake broke off at a light jog down a wide dirt path and caught up to the mare.

"What's the rush?" he panted, resting on his knees.

Lyra was practically bubbling with excitement as she half ran, half skipped circles around him. "This is a hugedeal, Drake! Everypony who's anypony wants to meet the first human in Equestria!" Lyra explained, now trotting ahead. "Say, your name means, 'dragon', right?"

He thought for a bit. "I think so."

"Ooh! Spike would love to meet you, then!"

"Spike?"

Lyra added, "He's a dragon."

Drake choked. Dragon?They had dragons here, in Equestria?

Several minutes of awkward silence followed. Lyra seemed oblivious to this as she enjoyed the scenery. Drake looked around, taking in the sights and sounds of Equestria, until his gaze fell to her rear.

"Hey Lyra," Drake spoke up.

Lyra's ears perked. "Yes?"

Drake opened his mouth and closed it. "Never mind." They were probably tramp stamps. "Heh."

"What?" She was giving him a funny look. "What is it?"

"Nothing. Forget it."

"No, tell me!"

"No!"

"Tell me, tell me, tell me!" Lyra begged.

"Ah, it's stupid," Drake said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. "What does the symbol on your," he reddened, "butt mean?"

Lyra wiggled her flank. "It's a cutie mark, silly!"

Cutie mark?He shook his head. He didn't even want to know.

She must have noticed the confused expression on his face, because she told him she would explain later.

It wasn't long before they reached a bridge arching over a small stream.

Ponyville was a quaint little town, though little was a matter of perspective. Colorful and active were more appropriate terms. It had a certain characterto it. The town was bursting with life. The buildings had thatched roofs presumably made of hay, which Drake found incredibly funny for some reason. Horses ate grass too, right? So their entire countryside was one big pasture! In the background there was a large red farmhouse and rows and rows of apple trees. The two passed shops and restaurants with the most ridiculous names, like Quills and Sofas and some selling exclusively fans!

Funny, he noted. All the signs were in English. They all spoke English too.

They were heading straight to town square.

He could hear the sound of hooves clopping against the cobblestone and chatter echoing through the streets of Ponyville. Up until that moment, the streets had been empty. That is, until Drake rounded the corner of a building and nearly had a heart attack as he came upon an immensecrowd of colorful ponies. Stark white Pegasi in golden, gleaming armor and galea stood, stony faced and unmoving, presumably royal guards. He saw them blink, however, as they laid their eyes on him. Ponies of all sizes, shapes, and colors congregated around the town hall. Some had horns, some had wings, and some had neither. The moment they saw him they gasped and began to whisper.

He gulped, smoothing out the lapels of his suit jacket and tugging at the collar of his dress shirt, biting his lip.

They had given him the red carpet treatment, complete with a podium, microphone, and DJ booth on the steps of town hall. They hadn't mentioned anything about a speech!

They stared back at him.

Lyra prodded him, looking at him to say something.

"Hey there every," Drake stopped himself, "pony!"

There were a few awkward coughs. He took a tentative step forward, and the crowd shifted back uneasily. Drake probably seemed a bit intimidating. He was nearly twice their height. He dropped to one knee to make himself seem less threatening.

"Yeesh, tough crowd," he whispered jokingly to the unicorn beside him.

"Everypony, this is Drake Anderson," Lyra said with a strained smile. "And he's a human."

Drake couldn't help but roll his eyes. Maybe he could get them to loosen up if he showed that he was harmless.

"Hey Lyra."

"What?"

"Brofist." He put a hand out, clenched into a fist.

The ponies gasped, a few even fainting.

"Brofist?" Lyra raised an eyebrow.

"Just hit my hand."

Lyra punched his fist with her hoof. "Brohoof," she corrected with a satisfied grin.

He looked back at the crowd of ponies and smiled. But not too big. That'd be creepy. Plus, he didn't want to scare them with his canines. They were probably herbivores. It was then he realized that he wasn't going to get to eat any meat for the entirety of his stay in Equestria.

He should've gotten a steak dinner before leaving.

"What's with all the long faces?"

His audience tittered at his terrible pun. Even Lyra facehoofed.

Drake cocked a grin, feeling a bit more confident. "What's wrong with you guys? Cat got your tongue or are you," he paused, "feeling a little horse?"

Several began to voice their disapproval in the a unanimous groan.

"Make it stop!" Lyra giggled.

The crowd suddenly gasped and dropped to their knees in a quivering bow, including Lyra.

The teenager frowned. "Hey, what's going on? I wasn't that bad, was I?"

"Drake," she hissed, tugging at his pant leg. "Get down!"

"Huh?" He cocked his head. "Why?"

She pointed with a hoof. "Behind you!"

He yanked himself around to face the two princesses standing behind him with an amused expression on their faces. He got the hint and crouched down into an awkward bow.

"Rise, my little ponies," Luna said.

My little ponies? Seriously?

"There is no need to be so formal. 'Tis a most joyous occasion!" she boomed.

Drake felt his eardrums shatter. Dear god, how was she able to amplify her voice that loud? Oh, right. Magic.

"Now where's the cake?" Celestia grinned.

Everypony laughed.

"Inside joke," she explained.

Drake followed the princesses' leads as they made their way down the red carpet. The crowd parted, watching him with awed faces, some in fear, most in intrigue. He stood at the podium, daunted by the sea of ponies that completely filled the square.

Princess Celestia and Princess Luna stood behind him with six other ponies.

He tapped the microphone. "Uh. Hello?" He bit his lip.

He'd have to wing this one. But what was he going to say at a time like this? His experience with public speaking was nil, and any presentation he had in school was poorly prepared the night before and the words he thought up along the way.

Funny thing was he always managed to ace those projects.

He'd already tried his first tactic: comedy. Acting like the class clown wasn't going to work here. Being a smart aleck wouldn't either. And this definitely wasn't the time to be defiant. He was a guest in another dimension.He'd have to watch what he said very carefully, lest he offend anypony.

Drake took a deep breath. "So, I'm Drake Anderson. Like that mint green pony said." He wanted to slam his head against the podium. That was so stupid!

Lyra waved. "Hi everypony!"

A chuckle. He was sweating, wasn't he?

"And I'm a human."

No, really?

"I'm from, uh, Earth, I guess."

What was this, an autobiography? Get on with it, Drake, he thought.

"So Princess Celestia and Princess Luna came to me one day with an offer I couldn't refuse."

He tried to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

"To be honest, I'd been arrested."

A murmur in the crowd. They thought he was a criminal. The guards tensed, their wings twitching.

"But it was all one big misunderstanding," he quickly said. "Anyways, I was given a chance - a chance to go to Equestria. Your world." His words came out haltingly.

Drake wanted to knock himself out right then and there. What was he going to say next? That the sky was blue? The grass was green?

"At first I was afraid of the princesses. I couldn't even imagine that there were other worlds that existed besides, well, mine. In our world, my world, ponies are, well, horses, yeah. But they don't talk."

Faces with blank stares gazed up at him.

"They're taller and bigger and a bit uglier too. Their legs are really skinny and their body is fat, and their face is long. Longer than yours."

He decided to leave out the part where humans domesticated horses, riding them and using them as pack mules.

"They revealed themselves to me and told me that I was going to learn about Equestria. To learn about, well, ponies. Your history. Your culture. Your society. And you get to learn about humans from me, I suppose. And I'm going to bring this all back home so that someday, ponies and humans will be able to interact and share and learn from each other to make our worlds a better place."

Yeah right.

"And that's all I have to say about that." Drake swallowed.

It started off as a rumble that grew and grew. The ground shook as ponies began pounding the ground furiously with their hooves in approval of their human dignitary. No cheers, though. Just acceptance.

He heaved a heavy sigh that he had been holding in all day. He took off his suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt, tossing the jacket over one shoulder.

"You did great!"

"Gah! Stop doing that, Lyra!"

She giggled. "Sorry!"

"That was a wonderful speech," Luna said.

"Thanks," he said appreciatively. "I ad-libbed it."

"I'd like to you meet some friends of mine, Drake," Celestia said, stepping out of the way to introduce the six ponies he'd seen earlier. "My faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."

One stepped forward, a unicorn mare with a lavender coat. Her mane was particularly neat and tidy, with a pink streak. Her eyes were a deep violet. A pattern of stars served as her cutie mark.

"Hello, Drake Anderson! It's nice to meet you!" She put out a hoof.

"Drake's fine, thanks." He shook it gently with a nod and a small smile that didn't exactly reach his eyes. He didn't show it, but he was exhausted. He hadn't slept for what, days?

"These are my friends, Drake. I'd like you to meet Applejack."

Applejack. Apple Jack? What he wouldn't give for a bowl of Apple Jacks right there.

A stock orange mare with a blonde, braided mane and tail, green eyes, and freckles tipped her hat. "Howdy." She had a Southern accent thicker than a Polish sausage. "Nice ta meet you, uh, Drake." She said his name the way one might try a new food. It sounded strange coming from her. Her cutie mark was a trio of apples.

"Uh, yeah. Howdy." He tipped an invisible hat off to her.

"Rainbow Dash."

Drake nearly had a fit. These names were ludicrous!

A cyan Pegasus mare with a rainbow-colored mane puffed out her chest and flared her wings. "Fastest thing on wings in all of Equestria," she said proudly, her voice raspy. Her cutie mark was a rainbow lightning bolt coming from a cloud.

He'd really have to ask what cutie marks were.

"Fluttershy."

A Pegasus with a yellow coat and strawberry mane stepped forward, hiding behind a curtain of pink. A trio of butterflies were stamped on her flanks. Her blue eyes didn't meet his, however.

"Um, hello." Her voice was like a whisper.

"Hi." He put out a hand.

She shrunk back with a whimper.

She definitely was the shy one. It was in her name, for Pete's sake.

"Rarity."

Drake couldn't help but raise an eyebrow as a white unicorn with a curled purple coiffure and a trio of diamonds for a cutie mark (what was that supposed to mean?) stepped forward, extending a hoof, batting her eyes.

He shook it in a gentlemanly fashion.

"Pleased to meet you, Drake." Her voice had a fancy lilt to it. "I am Rarity, proprietor of Carousel Boutique." A shameless plug. "It'd be marvelous if you could swing by some time. I've very interested in human fashion!"

"And finally, Pinkie Pie."

A pink pony with a bouncy mane like cotton candy sprung up in front of him with an explosion of confetti.

Everypony in this town is crazy, he thought, exasperated.

---

Drake reached into his pocket and fished out a cigarette, putting it between his lips.

"Drake? What are you doing back here?"

"'Sup," he mumbled, jerking his head in acknowledgement.

"What is that?"

It took him a while to realize she was talking about the cigarette. "This?" He held it up for her to see. "I'll show you. Don't tell," he said with a sly grin. "Say, you have a light?"

Her horn glowed, a small flame manifesting itself on the tip of her horn.

Drake blinked. "Whoa." He lit the cigarette.

"What is it?"

"It's uh, tobacco. Rolled up in paper." He explained. "You light it up and you put it in your mouth and you suck in the smoke." He demonstrated, blowing a ring of smoke out from his nostrils and lips into the pony's face. "See? I'm a dragon."

Twilight coughed and wafted the smoke away with a look of horror. "Ugh! That smells awful! That cannot be good for you."

"It isn't. It's terrible. It's tastes horrible and makes me want to throw up." Drake took another puff. "I'm not actually allowed to do this. It's illegal in the human world. I'm underage." He snorted. "But seeing as I'm in Equestria..."

"Then why do you keep doing it? Stop!"

"Because it looks cool." Her face was hilarious. He shook his head. "Besides, this is my last one. I'm quitting. You should've seen Luna's face when she saw me with one of these."

"PrincessLuna."

"Yeah, yeah, sure. I'll see you back at the party."

As the purple pony trotted away, Drake stared contemplatively at it. He closed his eyes, letting the awful smell bring him back. He tried to remember his face. A man, yes, sitting in a chair. Reading the newspaper with a cigarette.

"Why did you have to go?" he whispered as he extinguished his last cigarette. Now to wash the taste out of his mouth.

---

A unicorn mare with an electric blue mane and purple goggles grinned, firing up her turntables. "Let's get this party started!"

Everypony began to slowly sway and dance. Drake tapped his foot and bobbed his head, feeling the beat of the song. He was a terrible dancer, even though it was one of his favorite things to do when nobody was looking. There was no form, no set of moves he had to adhere to. He chose no particular style, and when he realized that they were all watching him, Drake broke out every single dance move he knew. He moonwalked and struck a disco pose. He did the robot and the sprinkler and the running man without shame.

"What in Equestria are you doing?" Lyra laughed as he flailed his limbs.

"Krumping! Oh yeah! Whoo!"

As for all the other ponies, they laughed and danced and cheered him on. Even Twilight Sparkle, whom he pegged for as an uptight bookworm, started busting out the craziest of moves, sticking her opposite legs out and madly headbanging with her tongue out.

The night turned to a blur as he downed more and more sweets. But Drake knew that he was having the time of his life as he led a conga line of ponies.

The clock struck ten o' clock.

"Aw, and it looks like it's time for the fillies and colts to go to bed!" the DJ announced. "You know what that means."

A few cheers and whoops.

"Break out the cider!"

Several ponies began breaking out barrels of cider. He stumbled his way to the bar where Applejack offered a mug. "Care for some Sweet Apple Acres cider?"

"Heck yeah." He swiped a mug from Applejack and downed the entire drink, scrunching his face up at the funny taste. It tasted like apple cider, with a hint of something else.

"Whoa there, Drake, that's," Applejack started," never mind."

"Another."

"Drake, ya do realize that you're drinking..."

"One more." He tossed the mug away.

Applejack sighed and poured him another one.

---

Drake slowly became aware that he was laying on a soft bed. He clutched at the sheets. His head was throbbing.

"Lyra, what are you doing?"

"Shh! Hee-hee, I wanna take a peek."

"But that's invading his privacy!"

"Oh hush, Twilight. You can't tell me that you aren't a little curious."

Drake shut his eyes tighter, trying to ignore the voices in the back of his head.

"Wow, look at all these clothes!" a bubbly voice exclaimed.

"Oh Lyra, you look absolutely adorable in that jacket!" A loud gasp. "I-de-a!"

"Look at these shades, AJ! They're wicked cool."

"Rainbow, take them off. They look ridiculous."

Drake groaned. "Five more minutes, mom!"

The voices in his head were silenced. He relaxed, burrowing deeper into his pillow.

A soft, gentle voice spoke, "Um, Lyra, he's drooling on your pillow."

"Oh, gross! Ha-ha!"

"Why are you laughing?"

"Good thing this isn't my bed!" A cackle.

"Oh, I don't think Bon Bon will appreciate that, Lyra."

His eyes slowly opened. He saw green. Lots of green. As his vision slowly slid into focus, he found himself looking at Lyra, wearing his black hooded jacket, the sleeves extending past her hooves.

"Good morning, sleepyhead!" she cooed.

Lyra was in his bed.

A scream woke all of Ponyville.

They were all here. Twilight and her friends, and Lyra.

The curtains were torn open, light flooding through and overloading his senses. His world spun. He wanted to puke.

"Somepony turn off the sun," he begged.

"I don't think Princess Celestia would agree to that," Twilight said.

"I can't believe I'm having a hangover," Drake groaned. "Did a herd of buffalo stampede over my head?"

"Not exactly. You tried crowd surfing. And landed. Hard." Lyra winced. "And we might have accidentally bumped your head while we were trying to get you home."

"Has anyone ever told you you weigh a ton?" Twilight bristled. "It took all of our wing power and magic just to carry you!"

"And with all the cider you drank yesterday, I'm surprised you didn't pass out earlier!" Applejack said.

"It was apple cider!" he moaned, clutching his head in agony. "Stop talking!"

"Hard cider! That's what Ah tried ta tell you, but you wouldn't listen!" she accused.

"It's too early in the morning for the cowgirl schtick, honey. I'm not even supposed to drink. Ugh." He rolled out of bed, landing painfully on his back in a tangled mess of sheets. "Oof." He tried standing up, only to fall back down.

Drake slowly steadied himself as he navigated through the low doors, bumping his head a few times, and crawled down the stairs. Drake tore open Lyra's fridge and began rummaging through.

"What 'cha doing?" Lyra asked.

"Looking for stuff," he said gruffly.

"What kinda stuff?"

He found a chicken egg, seemingly pleased with it. He found a bottle of hot sauce and soy sauce in her cabinets, and some salt and pepper.

"What is he doing?" Twilight whispered.

"Shhh."

Drake focused intently on the objects before him. He cracked an egg on the edge of the glass and broke it. He put a few dashes of hot sauce and soy sauce, and sprinkled salt and pepper.

"It must be a human beverage," Rarity noted.

"I wanna try it!" Pinkie declared.

He gulped and tilted the glass back, swallowing the concoction.

"Ewww!"

Drake blinked. "Huh. Didn't taste as bad as I thought it would."

"What in Equestria was that?" the fashionista pony asked with a hint of disgust in her voice.

"A Prairie oyster."

"That didn't look like an oyster to me," Fluttershy said.

"It's supposed to help with a hangover. I saw it on TV."

"What's TV?"

Drake sighed. He was still in his suit. "I need a shower."

---

He splashed his face with ice-cold water, rubbing his bloodshot eyes. The bathtub was incredibly small, made for ponies. He hummed a tune as he scrubbed his hair with shampoo.

He stopped.

He could hear the sound of brushing. He peeked out from behind the shower curtain and screamed.

Lyra looked at him, her mouth filled with toothpaste and foam. "Mmgfh?"

"Lyra!"

She spat into the sink. "Yeah?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Brushing my teeth. Why?"

"I'm taking a shower!"

"So?"

"I'm naked!" He wanted to scream in frustration.

"Duh," she giggled. "We all are."

Drake blinked.

"OUT!"

---

He donned a blue polo and black jeans, lacing his sneakers. He glanced up and saw everypony looking at his fingers in amazement.

"Can you help you?"

"Your hands!" Lyra opened her mouth with an imminent squeal.

"Please don't squeal," Drake cringed. "I don't see what's the big deal. They're just hands." He wiggled them for emphasis.

"But they're so useful! You can grab whatever you want without having to use your mouth," Twilight said, already taking notes while levitating a notepad and quill.

"I guess. But magic is so much cooler! Look!" He never got tired of magic. "I mean, humans are so ordinary!"

"Can humans fly?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Not even. I wish. No wings."

"I think I'd rather be a pony," she decided.

"Me too," agreed Applejack. "All I need are these babies," she said, gesturing to her hind legs.

"My job would be so much easier if I had opposable thumbs," Rarity lamented.

"Having hands wouldn't be so bad if it would help me take care of my animals," Fluttershy said quietly.

"Yeah! And I wouldn't have to burn my tongue all the time when I'm baking!" Pinkie Pie added, sticking her tongue out.

He stood up. "I promise, you're not missing out on much. Being a human..."

"Can you grab a pencil again?"

He picked up a pencil, holding it between his index finger and thumb.

The ponies ooh'ed and ahh'ed.

Oh brother, he thought.

---

He stood on the balcony of Lyra's house in Ponyville. It wasn't particularly grand or as large as he would've liked it to be, but it was, what was the word. Quaint? That was it. It had a thatched roof, like most of the houses in Ponyville. A front yard with a garden and a gated fence.

He grasped a pencil in his left hand and held a sketchbook open with his right. The tip of the charcoal pressed into the paper, drawing quick, light sketches of the morning scene.

It was surreal.

Sometimes he had to pinch himself to remind himself that it was real every time a pegasus flew by, or a unicorn performed some extraordinary feat with magic.

"That's a pretty picture."

Drake smiled. "Thanks."

"You ready for another day in Equestria?"

"As I'll ever be," he said with a wry smile.

"You get to stay with me and Bon Bon while you're in Ponyville. Isn't that great?"

"Great." He smirked.

"So just be prepared to take notes, because there's a lot of things you need to learn about ponies."

"Don't worry," he chuckled. "Are you sure your, uh, roommate...?"

"Bon Bon? She's my best friend!"

"Yeah. Will she mind?"

"Oh, no. She won't mind at all!" Lyra touched a hoof to her chin. "Maybe. Heh."

A pony with a cream coat and streaked pink and blue mane approached. "Lyra!" she called. "What are you doing up there?"

Lyra waved. "Oh, hi Bon Bon! Have you met Drake yet?"

"Oh, hello!"

He waved back.

"Lyra?"

"Yes?"

"Why is he up there with you?"

Lyra laughed nervously. "Oh, that's a silly question, Bon Bon. Isn't it obvious? He's staying with us."

"WHAT?

The mint green unicorn's eyes bulged. "That's our cue!"

"To what?"

"Run!"