A Strange Adventure 3: Rainbow Dash Does Fanfiction

By NocturneD

Note: title is self explanatory.
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Chapter 1

It was another craptastic day in the shit hole known as Ponyville. No really it's a festering shit hole because the Mayor was extorting money to support her drug habit. But back to the story. Rainbow Dash was on her way to her friend Twilight Sparkle's house. Or tree whatever the hell you want to call it. She just finally finished reading the last book Twilight gave her and hoped there were more.

Dash knocked on the library door. Since the pegasus was so impatient, she kicked down the door instead and wandered in. Twilight was in the center room looking at the mess Rainbow Dash made, "Rainbow Dash seriously did you have to break down my door?"

"Yes." Dash smirked, "I'm finished with this one. Is there another one after it?"

Twilight used her magic to take the book from Dash and looked at it, "Oh. Sorry Dash looks like you read the entire series because this is the last book."

Dash was pissed, "Fuck you say bitch?"

Twilight rolled her eyes, "I said you read all of them."

"Oh great! Now what am I going to look forward to?" Dash over reacted.

"Rainbow Dash you're in a library. I'll help you find another series to read." Twilight assured her friend. "Since you like action and adventure we'll try to find a book that has a similar feel."

Dash was still mad, "Better be."

Twilight wandered over to the adventure section and scanned the shelf, "Let's see... Let's see..."

Dash turned her head to find a computer at the front desk. The pegasus sat down in front of it and started playing DOOM. Dash knew Twilight didn't like games on her computer but Spike has a way of sneaking them on without her knowing. The pegasus looked back at the purple unicorn trying to climb up a ladder to look for more books.

"Jeez Twilight has a big ass." Dash frowned then went back to playing the game, "Oh I got the shotgun!"

About twenty minutes later and getting to spider master mind. Twilight finally found another book Dash might be interested in, "Here you go Dash. The Giver." She saw Dash playing a violent game. "Dash. Why are you playing that on my computer?"

"Oh... well you were taking a good while I figured I play." Dash pressed the fire button to kill another pinky demon.

Twilight narrowed her eyes, "Dash I got rules in this library. No video games on the computer!"

"Fine I'll go..." Dash grabbed the book Twilight picked out for her and left.

The next day...

There was a knock at the library door. Twilight answered it to find a very pissed off Rainbow Dash holding the book she borrowed the previous day. "Oh hello Rainbow Dash. You look... are you alright?"

"What... the... fuck... is... this... garbage?" Dash growled.

"What? The Giver? It's a very well written book." Twilight smiled.

"I read every last word of this garbage!" Dash growled more, "And because of this piece of shit... I'M NEVER READING AGAIN!" She threw the book on the ground never wanting anything to do with it.

"Dash you can't throw a book onto the ground like that." Twilight scolded.

"That isn't a book! It's a piece of shit that belongs on the ground!" Dash shot back.

"Alright alright!" Twilight tried to ease the situation, "I'll get you another book."

"Uh. I'm done reading Twilight." Dash frowned.

"Come on I made a mistake." Twilight apologized, "Reading can be a great thing. It's like a movie in your head and and you can cast anyone you want."

"I did. No pony was faggy enough to play that fag Jonas." Dash frowned.

Twilight was disappointed, "I thought it was an alright book. Had it's moments. Oh alright I'll get you another book."

"Fine. This time, get me one with pirates or ninjas in them." Dash fumed. Twilight lead her into the library. Dash sat in front of the computer again waiting. She tried to open up DOOM but it was blocked. The pegasus wanted to lift the monitor and throw it across the room. But then she noticed a tab on the lower part of the screen. She clicked on it and a word document came up, "What's this?" She asked herself. She read the first few paragraphs. "Looks like Twilight is working on a book herself." Then she noticed something, these were familiar characters from a book she mentioned.

"I got you a pirate book Dash." Twilight came up behind Dash then dropped the book as she gasped. "DASH WHAT THE?"

"What? I was just reading this." Dash raised an eyebrow.

Twilight jumped in front of the screen, "That's something personal!"

"You're writing a story aren't you?" Dash asked, "I liked it."

Twilight was embarrassed, "Fine... if you must know it's a fan fic I'm working on featuring Star Swirl the bearded."

"I thought you said he was real." Dash brought up, "Why is he in a story you're writing?"

"It's complicated." Twilight eased up, "Fan fiction is taking a franchise that exists and making a story for it. For example, you like Daring Do and want to further her adventures."

This caught Dash's attention, "I can write what I want?"

"Well... yeah pretty much." Twilight frowned, "If you want to keep true to the original style I bet you can write a great Daring Do fanfiction."

"I R CAN?" Dash put on derpy eyes. Then went back to normal, "Um. How does it get noticed if you're doing it?"

"Oh there's a website for that. Many actually. I would like to recommend a few." Twilight explained the whole kitten caboodle while Dash masturbated to porn. What writing document to use, how to write a story, how to check for mistakes, how to upload. "There is a thing called a review Rainbow Dash where readers from all over the world can see your work and tell you what they think. They can offer tips and give you praise or criticism on how to improve."

"Reviews?" Dash asked.

"Yeah. But lately the whole review thing is like HoofBook where people want so many friends just for self satisfaction. Reviews aren't always everything but your story is what matters the most when you find your hits." Twilight explained, "Just because there isn't many re..."

"Yeah yeah get many reviews I got it." Dash ignored her.

"Dash it's more about..." Twilight tried to explain.

"Nope I got it. Write something good and get a billion reviews!" Dash raced off to go back home and fire up her computer.

"But you forgot your new book!" Twilight called out the door.

Dash came back and grabbed the book. She put on a sly smile, "Oh by the way. I got to the part where you Star Swirl meets Twinkle Sparkle. I won't tell anyone you wrote a lemon about you and Star Swirl." Dash bolted into the sky laughing. Twilight was blushing mad.

"How'd she know?" Twilight slammed the door and made sure to put a password lock on her files.

ooo

Dash was at her home in Cloudsdale. Wherever the fuck that is. Dash watched more porn then was dried out. She opened up her word document and put in a title. "The Misadventures of Daring Do!... By Rainbow Dash." She paused. Then got stuck. "The fuck am I going to write about?" She pondered about the countless possibilities what she could write about Daring Do could do. She could make her go fight a horde of zombies in Africa. Or she could make Daring Do discover the lost city of Atlantis. Problem was Dash thought, "Some of this stuff was probably already thought of. I got to come up with something better."

Then the idea hit her. She loved Daring Do series so much, why not insert herself into the story by being her side kick? "YEAH THAT'S AWESOME!" Then she stopped, "But still don't have a story." She slammed her head into the keyboard over and over again. She stopped suddenly to look up at the sky eye view of Ponyville, "Wait... Daring Do can come to Ponyville to..." She looked around her room, it was very plain. "Ah Celestia damn it!" She scratched her chin, "I'll just fill in the blanks as I go along. Just type the first chapter and see where it takes me."

Rainbow Dash started to type.

ooo

Daring Do let out a huge yawn as her arms reached far into the sky. It was morning already. Apparently her stage coach driver kept his focus on the road and didn't want to wake her up.

"Ah... good morning young Daring Do." The coach driver laughed. Pots and pans clanged as each bump they made. "You're heading to Ponyville right?"

Daring Do gave a half smile, "That's right. The mayor wanted me to look into something about some sort of relic her town ponies found."

"Well they called the right pony for the job." The coach driver let out a chuckle then took a swig of whiskey from his flask. He offered Daring a sip. She politely waved it off. "Yah young ponies shouldn't drink anyway." The old coach driver put his flask away and kept his eyes on the road. "Ponyville ain't too far. Got some real interesting ponies there."

Daring Do stood up seeing the shadow of the town with Celestia's sun rising in the background. She knew, she was in for another adventure.

ooo

Dash was having fun with the story already as her document said she had over twenty pages of written material, "Wow. I got this far!" She squealed in delight. She looked at her clock to find it was already the wee hours of the morning. Her eyes widened, "Oh Celestia I stayed up too late writing this thing!" She was about to jump out of her seat then stopped herself. "Wonder if I can just upload this thing now and start on chapter two tomorrow?" And so she did. She cut a few parts out and redirect some of it as a way of starting chapter two easier. It was late at night, she didn't have time to check for errors. It was good enough. She uploaded it onto PonyFiction dot net making sure the labels were right and called it a night.

"Oh boy." Dash lied down in her bed, "I bet when I open my mail box tomorrow I'll get a thousand reviews saying how awesome my story is!" She squealed and closed her eyes. Drifting off to sleep... And dreaming about Cheerilee having Tourettes. Dash kept snickering in her sleep.

to be continued...

Note: Will Dash get noticed with her fanfic? Will she get any reviews? Will this story get any reviews? Probably not...Yeah pretty much this story is making fun of the idea of fan fiction. Dash liking the Daring Do series so much she makes a self insert story of her and her friends meeting Daring Do then go on a crazy adventure.