It has been two days... Two damn days... Most of which was a blur to me. I have had enough alcohol to put myself into a coma twice now. What Celestia said... I don't know whether I should thank her or hate her. My mind was clouded by these conflicting emotions, and yet with all these thoughts I still had one ray of hope. Rainbow Dash was going to be happy again, with her friends, and above all, she wouldn't remember me. She wouldn't have to deal with that pain have losing her father. I have already had to handle it once, and forcing her having to go through it would have ruined me. As for losing her again, the very thought brought me to my knees as it did so long ago.

I thought that was going to be easier the second time through... I was so wrong. In fact it hurt more, now armed with the knowledge that she would never remember me. But in a sad way, that is also what I needed to hear, it brought me closure, finally knowing what would happen to my little Dashie.

I walked slowly through my house, touching things, just so I could feel something, anything other than pain. I walked up the stairs into my room and stood there for a moment, thinking. 'She will be fine, and happy, and you know it.' I kept telling myself. I wanted to prove that wrong in any way I could. I want to find a flaw in that reasoning so I could have an excuse to find a way back and be with her. I didn't even have to see her. Just knowing that she is somewhere out there with the memories of us was enough. I left my room and continue walking. I needed to stop wallowing in my sorrow. I walked back down the stairs and into the television room, and instantly my eyes darted to the feather resting on top of the TV. It was ghostly white, all the energy gone from it. I approach it slowly, and reach my hand out towards it. I had no idea if it would teleport me to her, if it would take me to where I wanted to go. I didn't even care where it took me anymore; I just wanted it to take me away. I grasped it in my hand, clutching it close to my chest, expecting to be swallowed by darkness again. To my relief and disappointment, I wasn't. I opened my eyes, I hadn't gone anywhere. I sighed, not in anger or sadness; it was a sigh of defeat.

So many times I have lost what I held dear to my heart... The pain hung there slowly tearing be apart at the seams. I fell to my knees again as I remembered the days before I had met Dashie.

Her first words... The times we had baked... Every moment was permanently etched in my mind. The thought that she would never remember me again creeped into my mind once more. I just wanted to end it all, just like I had so many years ago.

No.

Dashie would not want that to happen. I had to keep on going with my life. I had made a promise to my parents that I would live a happy life. One where I could look back at what I have done and smile at those moments.

I put the feather back on the TV. I looked back upon the room. It was calm and lonely, just like normal. I sat down on the chair and stared at the powerless TV, thinking about nothing, trying to clear my thoughts.

---

I woke with a start; the sun was seeping in through the windows. 'Shit, was I late for work again?' I pulled my phone out, it was a Sunday. 'Whew, best news I've had in a while.' That last thought reminded me why it was the best news however, and I quickly sunk back into my sadness. There was a glass of water sitting on the table and I quickly drank it down. Toady would be a new day. I had made a promise not only to my parents.

"But to you Dashie, I will live on with our memories."

On the lamp stand next to my table sat my mother's photo album, and inside rested all of my past. My sad, fruitless, past. Full of loss and death. But it also had my life's best moments. It held the previous fifteen years of my life, the years that have made today possible. I have flipped through the pages of this book more times than any other, and yet, this one still makes me smile the most. I opened to the first page. Family photos lined it, as well as the next few. But there, several pages back, was the photos of my Dashie and all the memories we shared together. This was why I knew I had to let her go before, so she could keep having these memories with her true home. At first, I blamed those other ponies. They were jealous of what Dashie and I had together, I thought. But they were only looking out for the best interest of their friend. Celestia was right; Dashie couldn't live here, not on Earth. She needed Equestria to live, she could only survive here.

I turned the page, and what I saw drew a tear from my eye. The letter Dashie wrote for me before she left the first time. I can still remember it, without reading it:

"Dad,

For fifteen years you took care of me. For fifteen years you loved me, played with me, and made sure I enjoyed my life in a world not meant to house me. I'm not a mare of many words, but even though I told you this in person, I felt you needed a written version of it so you will know it was all real.

I love you daddy. You helped shape me into the mare I am now. I'm not sure what is going to happen, if I will remember any of this or not, but I want you to know that you did a darn good job of raising me, even if I was a bit stubborn at times and short with you during others.

With Celestia's permission, I hope to allow you to keep our photos; our memories, with you so that you will never forget. Again, I love you, and thank you.

Your little daughter always,
Your little Dashie forever,
Rainbow Dash."

I looked down to read it again. Although I knew every word by heart, it comforted me to know that Dashie had written this for me. I scanned the paper slowly, going over every detail.
'Dad,' it started,

'For fifteen years you took care of me. For fifteen years you loved me, played with me, and made sure I enjoyed my life in a world not meant to house me. I'm not a mare of many words, but even though I told you this in person, I felt you needed a written version of it so you will know it was all real.'

So far so good. A tear was forming in my eye,

'I love you daddy. You helped shape me into the mare I am now. But now, I need you again.'

Wait, that's not right. I got close to the paper to make sure I read it right, I did. 'I am sorry to say that I had to change the original note I wrote for you those many days ago, but I needed some way to talk to you, and this was the last connection I have to home...'

I couldn't believe my eyes. I rubbed them with the palms of my hand, trying to clear the thing that was making me read Dashie's note wrong, but no matter how much rubbing I did, the words were still there. "I know you were here a second time, I felt a drain my energy like the first time bringing you here.

"It is true that I am the element of loyalty, but how can I be that if I cannot be loyal to family as well as friends? So now, I leave you with a choice. With this choice, I uphold my loyalty not only to my friends, but to you as well. Celestia has taken my powers from me and I no longer control the ability to bring you back to my world. I have locked my memories of you away, deep inside my mind, somewhere that Celestia will not be able to get at, but it will not last. My memories will come back if I see you again; it is how the spell works. Until then, the memories that the purple one, Twilight, gives me will be mine. And that is your choice, enter Equestria and be with me, the one you raised, or choose not to, and I will be the Rainbow Dash that was on the show. If you do come, I will be waiting by the lake near the forest. And, this is important, I won't be there forever. I gave myself the idea that for three days Equestrian time, I should go to the lake and relax. From what I understand, that gives you a little more than a month to decide. This paper now controls the last of my ability. Once that month fades away, the energy will too, and when the energy fades the portal will close, either behind you, or in front of you. Which ever one it is, is up to you, and there is no turning back, it will close forever.

Your little daughter always,
Your little Dashie forever,
Rainbow Dash."

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. She knew I was there again? Never mind that, she knew how to control her magic? Never mind that, she was giving me a choice? The last question wretched my gut. I gently plucked the paper from the book and held it in my hands. I could feel the energy in my fingers, but how would I activate it? That is, how would I activate it if I wanted to? The paper housed the energy, but only she could activate it.

I grunted in frustration. Just listen to me! How can I be so selfish! How could I endanger so many lives just for my own selfish purposes! But I realized that Dashie needed me. She left me this letter so that she would remember our memories again. I am going to do this for her.

That's when it hit me, the feather. I stood up and almost sprinted the small distance to the feather as I set the paper near the feather. A stream of energy began to flow between the two. The feather was now cyan blue once more as it pulsated slowly. I stepped back, stunned with shock and confusion. But then, I hear Celestia's voice in my head, 'Your world was not meant to house her, I'm sorry but that is the way it must be.' I stared at the feather for what seemed like eternity.

I took one step towards it, my mind racing, and then... I turned away.