Albert Wesker and the Land of the Pony-folk

He'd failed. Failure was not a word that fitted comfortably into the vocabulary of Albert Wesker; he'd been conditioned from birth to be superior, to bring about a world free of the evils of humanity, with himself at the head. Once again, however, Chris Redfield, that meddlesome pest, had thwarted him and he'd resorted to his own creation in an attempt to finally gut the foolish BSAA member. Suddenly, the most recent events of Wesker's life flashed through his mind.

Uroboros... The volcano... The lava... Death?

His brain paused on the word, he was a god, he was power incarnate, he was above and beyond all of human-kind, how could he be dead? And if he were dead, how was he still formulating thoughts? Everything ached, it'd been a long time since he'd felt pain, true pain but now it felt like agony was making up for the lost time, he wasn't quite ready to face whatever situation he currently found himself in so he continued pontificating.

So arrogant, time and time again you had Redfield's life in my hands and you chose to prolong it for no other reason than your own megalomania, what were you trying to prove?

Wesker mulled that question over in his brain, he didn't have anything to prove, he was a god. Besides, once he'd killed Chris and his annoying partner then the release of Uroboros into the atmosphere would have been all the proof the world needed that they were at the mercy of a superior being. But now he had died, there was no doubt about that, he recalled seeing two rockets heading directly for his face while his lower body dissolved in molten rock and had known that this was the end. So where was he now? Hell? Purgatory? Wesker sneered at himself internally.

An afterlife? Hasn't witnessing your own mortality made you weak-minded?

The most infuriating part of his degenerating sanity whilst working on the Uroboros project was his need to split his thoughts into separate 'voices' in order to prevent the myriad of different thoughts from driving him to distraction, this particular voice he'd labelled as 'Critical' as it never overlooked an opportunity to undermine his plans or his thought process.

So what now, Albert? Do you keep your eyes closed and allow your thoughts to keep you company for eternity or do you actually do something?

Wesker decided that he'd been unmoving for long enough and decided to confront whatever this apparent afterlife had thrown at him; he shifted slightly in order to push himself to his feet before he noticed he was lying on grass.

Interesting...

He cracked open his eyes slightly and froze. Everything around was brightly coloured and cheerful, it looked as though there was a peaceful village on the horizon from where he sat, on a large field, his brain processed this information almost instantaneously before his intellect drew his attention to another, far more important matter.

I'm a horse.

Wesker stood stock still, in the middle of a field as his considerable mind attempted to process this new information, he slowly raised one hoof in front of his eyes and thought briefly about going back to sleep and chalking this up to temporary insanity. Instead of skin, he saw a pale coat of hair leading up to the indelicate appendage; he arched an eyebrow and decided to approach this situation scientifically.

I'm a horse... A horse. Four legs. Hooves.

He tentatively raised a hoof to the top of his head, then to his rear.

A mane and a tail.

He was acutely aware that he was simply listing the different body parts of a horse in order to distract himself from the current reality, another mental voice decided to bring him crashing back, it wasn't one that he recognised.

Hey Al, it's me! Your sense of excitement and joy, remember me? You're a horse now, isn't that awesome? You were always a fan of porridge, right? That has oats in, horses love oats! You're going to have a great time.

Wesker shook his head slowly, he didn't recall ever having a sense of joy and the only excitement he ever seemed to have revolved around scientific discovery and pushing the boundaries of bio-weaponry.

Weaponry, Shmeaponry Al, you've got hooves now, you can't do science... Unless there's people here who can delegate, that'd be weird, being told what to do by a horse. Haha, can you imagine?

He could imagine it, and he didn't like the implications one bit, if there's one thing that rankled Albert Wesker, it was being treated with anything less that the respect that he deserved. Who's to say everyone here wasn't a horse? Or that he was in some bizarre horse-centric land? Now that he analysed his surroundings, he did note that the colours and scenery seemed to have an ethereal, otherworld quality.

You ain't in Kansas anymore, Al, hahaha! This probably is your version of hell: Happiness? Peacefulness? You'll probably end up going on one of your monologues at all the happy ponies, "I... am... A GOD. MWAHAHAHAHAHA."

Wesker winced, his mental state had previously degenerated to the point where he couldn't recognise himself anymore, and it appeared that a couple of RPG's to the skull were what he needed to restore clarity. Well, some degree of clarity anyway, the voices that still resonated in his head were still evidence of his... unique circumstances. In order to stave off the relentless chirping of the voices, he decided to evaluate his senses to see if he had retained his superhuman abilities.

Hearing...

One of his ears twitched as he focused solely on the auditory aspect of his surroundings, he could hear the far off sound of owls hooting and the wind ruffling the leaves of the trees; he smirked.

As good as before.

He could already tell his sight was as sharp as it had been previously, he could see each individual leaf on the trees in the distance.

Oh, you can see and hear well, all hail Albert Wesker, God of us all...

Wesker rolled his eyes at Critical, before testing the attribute which mattered to him the most. Though, his aching body suggested to him that he was restored to the equivalent level of strength he possessed prior to the Arklay Mansion incident, which was still formidable, considering the attitude with which he approached his physical and mental well being whilst he was the Captain of STARS. He attempted a rapid dash forwards and found his new body lacking the capability; he also attempted a hoofed version of the Cobra Strike and once again saw his limb moving at a fast, yet generally possible pace. He sighed.

Unfortunate, Albert. It appears you are just a normal... horse. Good luck trying to establish yourself amongst equals once more, remember how fun it was last time?

Wesker frowned, even without his superhuman abilities; he was still superior, even if he felt exhausted and drained. It was time to confront the denizens of this peculiarly colourful land and find out what exactly was going on. He glanced around and found his eyes drawn towards a large farmhouse in the distance.

Fun fun fun, Al. Go and say hello to your new neighbours. Hahaha, 'Neigh'- bours. It's going to be amazing here!

Wesker rolled his eyes and looked up at the night sky as he began to trot towards the wooden farmhouse, he'd rather meet whoever was here than spend the rest of his life with these voices as his only company.

Albert Wesker and meeting the farm pony

Wesker knocked twice on the oak front door before taking a step back and awaiting whoever, or whatever, opened the door. Joy chose this moment to make another vacuous point while he waited:

Haha, hey Al, when was the last time you knocked on a door and wanted a horse to answer it?

Critical then decided to chip in whilst the corners of Wesker's mouth twitched at the previous thought:

Of course, Albert would rather have all the laws of nature turned on their heads than have to be a second class citizen.

The suggestion of a hint of a smirk disappeared rapidly as he mulled over that idea, he supposed it was true, being a horse in a world of humans would be infuriating; god knows how long it'd be before he trampled some pathetic human's head because they tried to ride him and got turned into glue.

That'd be a sticky situation, eh Al? Sticky, get it? Like glue?

Wesker sighed, he never had to deal with this relentlessly cheery voice during the Uroboros project, even as his personality began to degenerate and fragment. He assumed it was because he had a project and an ultimate goal in mind, now he was fixed irrevocably in the present and had nothing to distract himself anymore. A mind as active and powerful as his was inevitably going to find something to occupy his time.

Hey, I'm better than Critical, right Al?

Wesker was inclined to agree, though it wouldn't be difficult to top the annoyingly acidic and uncannily incisive voice that had taken root in his mind long ago. Well, it was his mind, which infuriated him even more. At least he hadn't taken to talking back to the voices; that would be the beginning of the end.

"Can ah help y'all?" The speaker was an orange pony, with a very blonde mane and tail, both fixed into ponytails, a fact which sent Joy off into a vast array of teeth grindingly awful puns. Additionally, she was wearing a fairly worn Stetson and an expression which rather indicated that she had been asleep earlier and would ideally like to return to that state of affairs. Wesker was torn between relief that he wouldn't have to worry about developing an inferiority complex so soon after developing a god complex and bafflement that he had died and somehow ended up in a world with talking ponies, which would have been confusing enough without being a pony himself.

"Yes. I am Albert Wesker and I have just regained consciousness on a field somewhere in that direction." He indicated vaguely with a hoof, "Since I do not know anyone in the vicinity, I ventured towards the nearest residence I could find, this one to be precise. Would it be possible for me to rest here for the night, Miss...?"

"Applejack. Boy howdy, Al, you sure do sound like the bookish type, bet you and Twi'd get along mighty fine. Ah wouldn't be much of a pony if I left y'all shiverin' out here in the cold, Applebloom's havin' a sleepover with her lil friends so we've even got a free bed for y'all." She gave him a slightly tired smile before stepping inside to allow him entry.

Wesker grimaced slightly at the abridged use of his first name, nodded at the Cowboy hat wearing pony and followed her into her home. He didn't particularly care if he'd woken her up but felt inclined to say something for common courtesy's sake.

That's you, Albert, master of courtesy, you always said please and thank you before you tore out someone's spine.

Doggedly ignoring the biting sarcasm of Critical, Wesker ventured a slight apology whilst simultaneously wondering at the fact she had just allowed a complete stranger to enter her home, wherever he was, they clearly didn't have much crime to fear. That or he looked innocent enough as a pony to inspire trust, a vaguely unnerving thought.

"I apologise if I woke you. Miss Applejack."

The orange pony offered a slightly more genuine smile than before, probably misjudging Wesker's forced politeness as indicative of a good nature. "Don't y'all worry none; I was already up, 'bout to get myself a midnight snack. Care to join me, Al?"

He arched an eyebrow, it'd been a long time since he'd had any sort of food around midnight and had the mindset to refer to it as a 'midnight snack', it just evoked the idea of comic books and mischief in a public school kind of manner.

Let's go raid the larder and get ourselves a midnight snack before Cook realises we're there!

He decided that the slight gnawing hunger he felt outweighed his trepidation at behaving like a child and he trotted after her, noticing the bushel of apples imprinted on her side. Perhaps the ponies here were named after their birthmarks; it would make sense... so far as any of this situation made sense to him. Unfortunately, Applejack chose this moment to look back at Wesker and caught him staring unashamedly at her rear.

"Erm... Is there something I can help y'all with back there?" She tried her very best to make her tone light and teasing but Wesker could sense just a hint of annoyance lurking behind her words.

Wesker wasn't an idiot; he knew what she must have assumed and therefore went straight to the point. "Indeed, what exactly is that mark on your side, Miss Applejack?"

The farm-working pony looked at him as though he were simple before replying, "Why, that's my cutie mark, Al, I'd have thought you'd a known that, considerin' you got one of your very own."

Wesker dared to glance down to his side, he still wasn't any the wiser as to what a 'cutie mark' was but to hear it used in association with him filled him with a tangible feeling of dread. It was...

A pair of sunglasses? How appropriate, even when you're another species, you've still got the mark of your inability to face who you really are.

Don't listen to Critical, Al, I think it looks pretty damn cool. Bet no other pony's going to have a cutie mark like that... Well, I assume... Find out what a cutie mark is, Al!

"May I inquire as to what a cutie mark is?" Wesker tried to ensure his voice gave away nothing but honest curiosity but in truth, not knowing things made him anxious and irritable and he wanted to know what a cutie mark was. Now.

Applejack looked briefly incredulous before composing herself and starting to explain. "Well shoot, Al, never seen a pony with a cutie mark not know what one was. Put simply, a cutie mark appears when a pony finds out what makes him or her special. So what, you some sort of sunglasses designer?"

Had Wesker's sense of humour been better exercised, he would probably have needed to resist the urge to laugh outright, as it was, he instead settled for a knowing smirk. "Something like that, Miss Applejack."

"Please Al, just Applejack if ya don't mind, you're wastin' a word every time you say Miss."

Wesker's lips twitched, "Some of us enjoy the liberty of wasting our words, especially since everything else we waste seems to be so expensive."

Very philosophical Albert, aren't you the man of mystery?

Applejack's brow knotted as she tried to decipher what Wesker had just said before she gave it up with a faint smile. "Don't you try and confuse me with your fancy talk, Al, just call me Applejack and have a snack with me."

The twitch of Wesker's lips evolved into a slight smirk. "I believe I can manage that... Applejack."

They ate a couple of apples in comfortable silence before Applejack volunteered to show Wesker to his room for the night, it was fairly small and dotted with trinkets and pictures which left Wesker in no doubt that its owner was a child, but it was still a vast improvement over a field.

Wesker inclined his head towards Applejack, "Thank you for your hospitality, and the food."

Applejack returned the gesture and replied, "It was no problem, y'hear? Besides, if y'all just got here then I'm thinkin' you'll be fixin' for a job. Apple Acres is always lookin' for workers."

Wesker raised an eyebrow, invest food and a bed once and you may just have a loyal employee for a while. Clever girl. "I'll keep that in mind, Applejack."

Applejack nodded once and departed with a simple "Night Al."

Wesker looked around the young filly's room and wondered once more at the absurdity of his situation, he assumed that once he awoke from his slumber this time, he'd probably be half dead in a ditch, covered in residual Uroboros. Though he had to wonder at the manner in which his brain decided to recreate purgatory, he'd never been especially fond of horses, which made everything even more baffling. Perhaps the feeling that none of this was real was what was keeping him here, maybe he'd regain consciousness once he'd fully accepted this as reality. He raised a hoof in front of his eyes, before raising his gaze skyward.

Highly unlikely.

Albert Wesker and the Growing Realisation That This is Not a Dream

"Give it up Wesker, it's over!" Redfield brandished his handgun, face a picture of small minded, sanctimonious, moralistic determination as his partner stepped up alongside him in a similar pose.

"Over?" Wesker injected as more venom as he could into this one word, he wasn't over, Uroboros wasn't over, all he had to do was ensure that this pitiful insect stayed DEAD. "I'm just getting started!" With that he smashed his fist into the metal casing of the missile containing Uroboros and breathed heavily as it began to overwhelm his system, he could see the look of fear on the faces of the BSAA agents and knew that he had truly ascended to the status of a God, if there were any doubt before. Suddenly, however, both Chris and Sheva began to laugh, a full, hearty, impossible-to-stop chuckle.

Wesker was incredulous, "What are you laughing about? I am your God; I will end your pathetic existence."

Redfield managed to stem his laughter for a second before gesturing weakly in the tyrant's direction, "You're a horse, Wesker!" This then sent him into a fresh paroxysm of hilarity, as he tried to use Sheva's shoulder to keep himself upright.

"WHAT?" Wesker looked down at himself, he was a horse! With a picture of some sunglasses on his flank, "It doesn't matter, Redfield, I'll destroy you, the human race requires judgement." Without warning, the scene lurched rapidly and Wesker, still in horse form, was on a beautiful, grassy meadow, the wind running through his mane. This... was better, nothing to worry about; suddenly he became acutely aware of a presence on his back.

Wesker slowly turned his head to see Redfield giving him a reassuring grin, "Easy Weskie, let's reign it in, don't want to turn an ankle and end up in the glue factory, do we?" Wesker snorted, he didn't take instruction from a simpleton like Chris, maybe he could buck him off and finish him, once and for all. The pace increased as Wesker hurtled through the meadow, occasionally flicking his back legs upwards in an attempt to end the meddlesome BSAA agent. Rather than fear his untimely death, Redfield actually seemed to be enjoying himself, letting out a series of whoops and hollers. Wesker was so distracted with trying to kill Chris, that he didn't notice the ground ahead becoming rocky and uneven until he felt his ankle go at an unnatural angle and he collapsed in a heap.

Redfield, who somehow seemed entirely unharmed, was walking over to Wesker's prone form with a loaded shotgun. He had tears in his eyes and his grip on the firearm was shaky and unsteady, "I'm sorry, Weskie, you were always my favourite pony." A sudden loud blast issued forth and everything went white.

Wesker jerked awake, sweat dripping down his brow, it was early morning from the looks of things. What a ridiculous pair of dreams, both the arrival at the farmhouse of a talking pony and being mercy killed by Chris. His train of thought instantly derailed when he noticed where he was... still in that little pony's bedroom, how...? What?

Look at your hoooooooooves, Al. Look at your hooooooves.

Wesker sighed; this was real, wasn't it? It was improbable, impossible to explain and utterly illogical but somehow he was a talking horse in a land of ponies, who could also talk. He needed to find a library or some other educational facility and find out as much as he could about the history, social order and structure and everything in between of this strange land to truly ascertain his circumstances. He'd always been a fan of a good book or two, so it wouldn't be a truly horrific way to spend a day. He laid back lazily on the bed, stretching out his limbs and planning the day ahead, there was a chance he may have to help Applejack briefly in return for the food and bed but Wesker was sure he could delay it or possibly avoid it all together.

Why, Al? Not like you've got anywhere important to be or anything important to do, why not help out?

Eurgh, so now Joy was turning into his moral conscience? Fantastic, it'd been a long time since he had one of them...

Ha, you still love me, Al. Now... wait. Do you smell pancakes?

He did and they smelt incredible, he was suddenly ravenous and if he wanted to eat these pancakes it'd be a lot harder to avoid doing work. He sighed again; it'd probably be worth it from the smell of them. It was odd to have a pancake centred dilemma so soon after his world-changing plans had failed; it was certainly a drastic change of size and scope. In the end, his stomach won out over his general inclination to not help people and he trotted downstairs towards the kitchen. A large, red stallion awaited him as he reached the source of the smell, the other occupant of the room besides Wesker was raptly monitoring the gently sizzling pancakes and Wesker was able note his apple cutie mark without alerting him to his presence. A big brother or possibly a cousin, he assumed, Applejack seemed like an honest to goodness farm girl... pony and if that was the case, she was probably from a large family. He enjoyed logical deductions, they helped briefly draw his mind away from the fact he was a horse. Rather than appear to be an intruder in the home, he cleared his throat loudly in order to ensure that there'd be no unexpected outbursts of defensive violence.

The well built red pony turned towards the source of the noise and nodded slightly when he saw Wesker standing there, a gesture that the blond-maned pony returned with an almost imperceptible inclination of his head.

"Nice to meet y'all, Mr Wesker sir, name's Big Macintosh, Applejack's big brother, she told me y'all had no place to stay." The big farm pony rumbled, Wesker got the impression that this many words at once was a rare occurrence, he seemed like the strong, silent type.

"That is correct; I've found myself in... hard times as of late."

Pfft, tell me about it, Al.

Wesker briefly considered trying to explain to Big Macintosh that he was actually a human but he felt it would just mark him out as an insane vagrant and reduce his chances of eating the pancakes that were being cooked, an eventuality that terrified Wesker more than any other. Not to mention that his dream was clinging determinedly to the foggy recesses of his brain, if, by some miracle, Big Macintosh believed he was actually a species that possibly didn't exist in this land, how could he then also expect the crimson pony to understand the circumstances of his arrival?

Hey big red pony, I was a slimy monster that had a lava bath, look at me now!

Wesker internally hmph'd and conceded that point to Joy, there was no way that they could understand anything of what he'd set out to do, not that humanity could either. Ignorance and a fear of anything which upsets the decadent, murdering status quo would always rise up against the true visionaries, he'd never expected anything less, even when he was bellowing at Chris in the volcano as to whether he really thought humanity was worth saving.

"Not a problem, Mr Wesker, y'all are more than welcome to stay here but you'd need to earn your keep, y'hear?" Big Macintosh stated in a firm tone, not necessarily unkind but nonetheless adamant that Wesker had no chance of getting free food and lodgings, a sentiment which Wesker considered entirely fair, if slightly deflating.

Wesker arched an eyebrow, "Whereabouts would I sleep? I gather that the bed I slept in was free only as of tonight."

Macintosh nodded before replying, "Our sofa folds out, y'all would be sleeping on that." Wesker's nose wrinkled for the briefest of moments but Macintosh caught the expression, "Hey, were y'all expectin' silk sheets? Tain't worse than sleeping outside." Wesker nodded slowly, that was certainly true, he'd experienced waking up on the cold grass outside and found that it certainly did not compare favourably to awaking with a roof over his head.

"If I agree to this proposal," Wesker started, causing Macintosh to roll his eyes at the emphasis he put on the word 'If', "then I will get to eat pancakes before I start working."

Clearly Macintosh had been expecting slightly more extravagant terms as he proceeded to break out into a relieved smile. "Course, Mr Wesker, can't have y'all workin' on an empty stomach now. They're just about done now, as it is."

So it was that Albert Wesker, potential God, found himself in a farmhouse kitchen devouring pancakes like his life depended on it. All things considered, death could have gone far worse than it ultimately had. Once he'd finished, he turned to Macintosh and gave him an appreciative nod before enquiring, "Is there a library around here?"

Macintosh nodded and seemed to have formulated a mini-plan, "Sure is, Mr Wesker, smart unicorn called Twilight Sparkle lives there, I need to deliver a couple of bushels there, I can show y'all the way after work."

Wesker brushed aside the word 'unicorn' and stored in a handy mental folder titled 'Save for later', "That would be satisfactory." Wesker paused and decided that he hadn't said quite enough, "What work needs to be done?"

As it turned out for a usually expertly groomed and in control Wesker, far more than he'd have liked.

Albert Wesker and Manual Labour

Wesker had never liked manual labour; it was a fact that hadn't failed to overload his brain as soon as he'd been hooked up to the rusty plough by Macintosh. He was a thinker, not a... workhorse, he was certainly not lacking physically but he specialised in pursuits of the mind. Though he supposed that thinking the field ploughed was not a viable agricultural strategy.

Imagine if you could though, Al. You'd be a hero, all the pancakes you could eat!

Wesker could only shake his head at the ludicrous suggestion as he strained on the harness in front of him and slowly began moving forward.

Indeed, Albert... isn't that what a God should be able to do?

Wesker bared his teeth as he strode forwards, tilling the soil whilst he walked, his superiority complex had taken a shattering blow after his defeat at the hands of Chris but nonetheless, he couldn't help but feel like this work was beneath him, is this how a God was supposed to use his power? Even as he said it, his stomach did an odd flip, he was no longer a God and he had assumed that position based on his genetic alterations, now he was just an everyday, average... pony. The implications of this struck him in a way that had evaded him when he had just awoken on the field, Wesker had had bigger problems at the time but now he was fully aware of what this meant.

Your life's work, Albert. Meaningless. Like you.

This moment was worse than when he had reawakened after allowing the Tyrant to impale him, learning he had failed and that the ultimate life form had been vanquished by Jill and... Chris. That time, his brain had put aside the all consuming rage and began plotting and formulating once more in order to recoup his losses, what could he do now? He reached the end of the strip of land that he had been ploughing and used his sudden fury to fuel his strength and turn it around and continue on to the next band of earth, letting out a roar as he did so. It was worthless, pointless; the assassinations, the manipulations, the endless Umbrella dinner parties filled with sycophantic worms and braying, self-important cretins , having to associate with that hussy, Excella. All so he could be a horse and plough fields until his dying day; had anypony been able to see Albert Wesker's face, they would have surely recoiled at the white hot rage that was consuming his features at this point.

Al... You did all of that stuff because you had to. You were in Umbrella's world, programmed by Spencer. You're free of that now; you can be who you want to be.

Wesker nearly blew a fuse, he'd WANTED to be a God, and he'd WANTED to wipe the planet clean of pathetic, snivelling, self-destructive humans and start again with a new master race but the seeds of fate had decreed that what he WANTED meant NOTHING. While those who wanted nothing other than mediocrity and to wallow in their own pathetic concerns and quasi-misery got exactly what they desired! Joy seemed oddly subdued, a fact which gave Wesker a feeling of savage pleasure, until his internal voice spoke again.

That isn't what you wanted, Al. That's what Spencer told you to want, remember? His values were instilled in you on a subliminal level, what do YOU want?

Wesker thought, really thought, and the effect was akin to dunking his head in a bowl of ice cold water. Clarity restored just in time, Wesker mused, and he was almost at the end of the current segment of soil. He mulled it over as he hefted the plough to face back the way he had come, gently biting his lip as he thought, a very un-Weskerlike gesture but hell, Wesker considered; this whole damn situation was 'un-Weskerlike'. He wanted... to find out more about the land he was in, Applejack and Macintosh seemed like good people but hardly scholars, this Twilight Sparkle seemed to be the best port of call. That was the short-term but what of the long term? What exactly did he want to achieve whilst he was here? The call of a deity felt incredibly hollow to him after his previous attempt.

Just think short term for now, Al. For once.

The surprisingly logical voice (it was him, he supposed) raised a solid point, it felt like he was always ten steps ahead of everyone else and every action he took was designed to have implications in the near future, if not the distant future. He couldn't remember the last time he'd 'winged it', as it were.

Uroboros, Albert? You certainly didn't plan that.

That was undeniably correct, and look how that had turned out... though he also conceded that he had been under extreme pressure, was poisoned by his so-called 'serum' and was blinded by apocalyptic rage at that insufferableass, Chris Redfield. He also still remembered what the BSAA agent had said after he had injected Wesker for the second time.

You're just another of Umbrella's leftovers.

He had worked at Umbrella long enough to know that, without exception, their 'leftovers' did not get a second chance of any form, all that awaited was death... if you were lucky, but now Wesker had a second chance, however limited it may have appeared at first glance. The blond maned pony allowed himself a rare full smile; he was never one to pass up an opportunity.

Once he'd finished the fatigue that Wesker had managed to ward off via close mental control hit him like the proverbial ton of bricks and he wobbled unsteadily towards the farmhouse, once Macintosh had unhooked him. It certainly didn't help that he'd been forced to learn to move as an entirely different species, a task he'd undertaken with his typical imperturbable nonchalance but nonetheless he felt he moved normally, rather than with the usual control and minimal effort he was used to. Another task on the 'short-term' list, he felt. Macintosh had been duly impressed with the efficiency of Wesker's work, finishing the ploughing of his allocated field only marginally earlier than Albert, and the pale, former human merely gave him a look which said, 'You expected anything less?' With that, Macintosh had informed Wesker that Applejack had baked apple pies for the two of them and they set off on the short walk towards nutrition.

Neither of them were particularly big talkers and both were weary from good, honest hard work, so it was unsurprising to Wesker that they made the journey in companionable silence, he was moderately surprised, however, when Macintosh decided to speak up, "Must say, Mr Wesker, that ploughing was mighty fine, you sure you never done this before?"

Wesker preened subconsciously at the compliment before calmly answering, "I have not." He looked down at the mud splattered across his hooves and forelegs with mild disgust, "I'm sure I would remember... it certainly leaves its mark."

Macintosh let out a soft chuckle, "Bein' muddy's a sign o' hard work, Mr Wesker, sir. Don't let nopony tell y'all otherwise."

Wesker aimed a ghost of a smile towards the crimson stallion, "I'll be sure to remember that, Big Macintosh." He paused for a moment, "Am I right in the assumption that you've done more talking today than you have in a long time?"

Macintosh nodded slowly, "Eeyup. I ain't much of a talker but to new ponies, it can be a bit intimidatin' if I just stand there, all big and quiet, so I tries to make 'em feel welcome first. Don't you worry; I'll be clammin' up once you're settled here."

Wesker let out an inelegant snort at the final statement, "Don't strain your vocal chords on my behalf, I daresay you may need them for something more important."

The red pony chuckled, "Not sure how familiar y'all are with farm work, Mr Wesker, but I don't need my voice for them chores, besides, it ain't like I'm talking ya ear off." That was true, Wesker had certainly experienced his ear 'being talked off' both by actual human beings and internal voices and those experiences shared nothing in common with the relaxing interchange between himself and Big Macintosh. The rest of the walk passed with little to no conversation, only a confirmation that the two of them would be taking some apples to Twilight's library home after dinner. Macintosh didn't seem to want to pry into this mysterious pony's past and even if he had, Wesker was in no mood to share that information just yet, if ever. The smell of apple pie wafting through the window of the farmhouse reminded Wesker of two things: Firstly, that was fallible again and that he was at the beck and call of everyday whims and needs but secondly, and more importantly, that he was absolutely ravenous. He wasn't about to let his composure slip, however, and he calmly accompanied...

More like Accom-PONIED, right Al?

Wesker gritted his teeth. ...Big Macintosh to the dinner table where Applejack was sitting with a beaming smile and where three steaming apple pies were set upon place mats. Wesker and Macintosh sat either side of the ponytailed farm pony, Wesker with a polite nod and Macintosh with a sigh and a hungry declaration of thanks. Wesker instantly dived into the apple pastry, possibly breaking some sort of record, he didn't care, Macintosh tried to do the same but Applejack pulled the pie away from him and held it tauntingly out of reach.

"Uh uh, big brother, what do ya say?"

Macintosh let out a long suffering sigh and uttered, in tones that suggested that this particular mantra had been uttered before, "You're the bestest cook ever in the history of Ponyville and I'm mighty lucky and honoured to have ya as a sister."

Applejack guffawed and slid the pie back into her hungry sibling's reach, "And don't y'all forget it." She then turned towards the devouring whirlwind that was Wesker with a piercing stare, "Anything to add, Al?" Wesker's head snapped up and he gave Applejack a dazed look reminiscent of a bunny caught stealing carrots from the produce shed.

However, as he was Wesker, his inherent nature shone through and he automatically smirked before drawling, "Applejack, if you wish to learn my cooking secrets, then you need only ask." Macintosh stifled a chortle as the orange pony's eyebrows disappeared into her hairline before returning Wesker's smirk with one of her own, "Well, Al, let's see if you're all hat and no cattle. You're cookin' tomorrow."

Bluff called, Al, should have just said the same thing as Macintosh.

"With pleasure, Applejack." Wesker said smoothly, finishing his meal and stepping away from the table at the same time as Big Macintosh, "Thank you for the meal, it was most..." He couldn't help feeling amused as Applejack leaned forwards, eagerly awaiting the end of that sentence, "...satisfactory." He finished with a devilish grin. Applejack scowled and Macintosh let out another gust of laughter, before hurrying Wesker away from the irate mare.

As the two walked towards Twilight's, each towing heavy carts piled with apples. Applejack waited until they were a fair distance before popping her head through the doorframe and shouting, "Y'all had better bring your best, Al, I'm expectin' the best meal I ever had."

For the first time in a long time, Albert Wesker let out a deep, rich but above all, genuine laugh.

Albert Wesker and a Unicorn

Just to clarify, I've decided to set this fic after Episode 4 of Season 1, "Applebuck Season" but before Episode 5, "Griffon the Brush-Off." All the meetings between Wesker and 'the mane 6' will occur before episode 5.

He was delivering apples to a unicorn. Sometimes Wesker felt that this 'afterlife' was designed to test his sanity to the limit, it was just so illogical for this to be happening to a man resolutely devoted to science and utterly unreceptive to the outlandish and the fantastic. Still, he was hitched to a cart of apples and the heavy weight dragging behind him was certainly convincing evidence that this was real, whatever 'real' was now. Ultimately, Wesker pondered, the way to avoid any major breakdown was to remain irrevocably in the present and not let his mind get the better of him with regards to his increasingly bizarre future.

To that end, he turned his head towards Big Macintosh and began conversation, "What can you tell me about this Twilight Sparkle?"

Macintosh tilted his head to the side and thought carefully before he slowly spoke, "Real brainy type. Bookish, gets through 'bout half the library every single day. Really good at magic, so I hear, she ain't one to show it off though."

"Of course" Wesker repeated blankly, "Magic." Magic? What on earth was going on? He was a pony, fine. There were other talking ponies, fine. There were magical, talking ponies...

I find it unusual you can accept the existence of talking ponies easier than the existence of magic, Albert. Perhaps you're irritated that those childhood years spent mocking those your age who still believed in magic were wasted.

It did slightly conflict with his general outlook on life... but he supposed he would just have to adapt and persevere, as he always did. Just another topic to retrieve another book on, he'd probably need both the carts to transport the ones that would pique his interest. He assumed that magic was the domain of unicorns, as he hadn't seen any inkling that Applejack, or her brother, were capable of doing anything remotely magical. As he pontificated on this subject, he noticed a few ponies with feathered wings flying overhead; he must have been deadened to further revelations as he glanced at them disinterestedly before returning his eyes to the path in front of him.

Aw man... Can you believe that, Al? You come here and you can't fly or do magic, that's a tough break.

Indeed, it seemed as though his previous fears of being genetically inferior were partially founded, it appeared to be the case that he was...reincarnated, for lack of a better word, as an individual with no particular external talents. Though luckily his arrogance was there to save him from sudden meltdown, he was vastly intellectually superior and took a small amount of comfort from that. He'd known that before the Progenitor Virus resurrected him; clearly physical perfection had warped his mind slightly, now that he was 'back to normal', he'd have to rely on his wits once more rather than brute strength or superhuman speed.

Rely on your wits, Al? You're talking like you're in grave danger or something, come on, just lighten up, you don't need to be so twitchy all the time.

Twitchy? Ha! He just had his guard in place at all times but... he supposed paranoia was only not paranoia when everyone actually was out to get you, he assumed that wasn't the case anymore but he hated to assume anything, he preferred cold, hard facts. Hence the desire to visit this library, speaking of which...

"Here we are, Mr Wesker that was a fair ol' trek with these here carts, huh?" Big Macintosh turned to Wesker with a faint smile as the latter looked up at the tree/ house with a look that signified both confusion and intrigue.

The blond maned pony turned to his companion with an eyebrow arched. "If you say so, Macintosh, I didn't see you as the type to tire so easily."

The crimson pony chuckled, "Y'all love your challenges don'tcha, Mr Wesker. Don't make me do an AJ and make you pull both carts next time we go into town." It was a mark of Wesker's stubborn pride that he genuinely considered accepting this proposal before telling himself that he was above such trivialities... apart from tomorrow's potential cooking fiasco.

"Duly noted."

Macintosh nodded at Wesker with his smile still firmly in place before motioning to the back of the library, "Y'all put those round the back and go in to get our payment, it'll be about twenty bits. I need to deliver these here apples to Mr and Mrs Cake" Bits? Interesting, it appeared that the ponies had a currency based economy, rather than one based on trading goods and services, like Wesker expected; though he had to admit that his expectations had proven to mean relatively little in such a place. "You can pick up your books while you're in there, Mr Wesker."

It was a sound plan, and so Wesker found himself in front of the library's front door after leaving the carts around of Twilight's home. Wesker had raised the issue of the apples going off but according to Macintosh, Twilight knew a spell to preserve food and was happy to have them out in the open to ensure less work when he came to retrieve the empty cart. He banged firmly on the heavy, wooden door with his hoof and waited for somepony to answer. He took the delay to examine the structure more readily; it was certainly a fascinating piece of architecture, seemingly hewed directly from the tree... which he supposed it was. He had no idea how on earth such a building could be made, and all his speculations ran into severe logical inconsistencies.

It was magic, Al. Magic. Ooooooooooooh.

He sighed and started to muse some more when he noticed the door open; all of a sudden, the doorframe was filled (not entirely, Wesker thought drily) by a small purple lizard-like creature, who looked at him questioningly before speaking, "Hey, I'm Spike, how can I help?" At Wesker's vacant look, he sighed, "I'm a dragon, you must be new here."

Wesker felt mildly embarrassed at his obvious incredulity, "Indeed." He tipped his head slightly before continuing, "A pleasure to meet you, my name is Albert Wesker, I'm here to collect twenty bits for the apples I just delivered and I'm interested in renting some books once my business is concluded." It was difficult to remain civil when his brain was threatening to implode with all the ludicrous happenings that he'd been subjected to recently.

Cooool, a dragon. I hope he can breathe fire, that'd be so awesome!

The dragon, which was either capable or incapable of breathing fire, smiled, "Oh, no problem, come on in. I'll go get Twilight." Taking great care to wipe his feet on the mat before entering, he strolled in after Spike, carefully planning which tomes he would indulge in, so much so that his thoughts were in the foreground ahead of Spike shouting up the stairs, "Hey, Twilight, the apples are here."

A female voice floated down, "Oh, okay, give me a sec, I left the bits on the side." Wesker could hear this Twilight mumbling to herself as she presumably searched around for payment before letting out a declaration of triumph. "Got it!" He also heard the unmistakable sound of hooves approaching the top of the stairs as he busied himself with examining the books in the library. Hmm, 'An Abridged History of Equestria,' that sounded promising. He had no way of knowing if all these books would be of any use in his relentless pursuit of understanding his circumstances, he supposed it would be wise to request assistance from Miss Twilight, though he at least now knew the name of the land he was in, that title seemed perfect for some of his requirements.

"Oh." A startled sound at the top of the stairs drew his attention and he slowly turned his head to face the source, "I was expecting Big Macintosh, I don't believe we've met. I'm Twilight Sparkle." A purple unicorn with a plum coloured mane and tail, both of which had a vibrant pink stripe running through them, greeted him.

"Quite. I've heard much about you, Miss Sparkle, I am Wesker, Albert Wesker." He mentioned his surname first in the hope that she would take the hint and not call him Al, before gesturing idly with his hoof at the library, "This is quite the selection. Is there some sort of protocol revolving around withdrawing books?"

"Not at all, Albert." Twilight smiled before placing a small bag of coins at Wesker's feet. "What exactly are you interested in?" Wesker resisted the urge to roll his eyes, better than Al, he supposed.

"Enough to merit the use of one of Macintosh's carts" he remarked drily, "Which volumes would you recommend on the topics of Equestrian history, Pony biology and sociology and generic background knowledge on magic?"

Twilight looked momentarily overwhelmed before the keen intelligence that Wesker could see in her eyes forced her brain into action.

More like 'Sparked' it into action, right Al?

The purple unicorn delicately pressed her hoof against her temple, "Well, for history I recommend An Abridged History of Equestria." As expected, "Also, you should peruse 'The Legend of Nightmare Moon' and 'The Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide', that should give you a pretty in-depth understanding of Equestrian history."

That was remarkably fast and it gave Wesker a fairly good idea of how she knew so, "I presume you've checked their providence personally, Miss Sparkle. How many notes will I find in the margins?"

Twilight blushed an impressive shade of red as she suddenly found her feet rather fascinating, "I... may have checked through them a couple of times, my studies are predominantly in magic but I just find history so fascinating."

Wesker angled his head to the side, "History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again." Where had that quote come from? Somehow it entirely evaded his mental acumen but it seemed unerringly appropriate considering his situation.

A soft smile spread across Twilight Sparkle's face, "That's a very intelligent quotation, I'll remember that one... do you know who said it?" Wesker shook his head; he was still pondering its significance as it had just sprung to him out of nowhere. Twilight then went on to list a series of books which would assist him with learning about the social structure of Pony society and about the variants of Pony: Unicorns, Pegasi and Earth Ponies, such as himself.

She paused when she got to the books about magic, "Sorry, I don't mean to be patronising but you do know that earth ponies can't do magic?"

Wesker gently raised an eyebrow, "It had come to my attention, I merely wish to gain knowledge about that which I am ignorant, I have no aspirations to become the first Earth pony wizard."

She looked sheepish, "That's what I thought." As she opened her mouth to continue, a knock at the door cut her off.

"Twiliiiiiight, it's Rarity; I'm here to return those books I borrowed." At these words, Spike, who had remained practically silent throughout the exchange between Wesker and Twilight, began preening and muttering to himself worriedly about wrinkles as he strode, strutted would probably be a more apt description, towards the door. Wesker had never seen the appeal of 'meeting new people', he was not a particularly social creature but now it appeared he had to continue to spout meaningless polite, small talk to yet another pony.

At least he had his books.

Albert Wesker, the Fashionista and the Flashback

A clearly enamoured Spike opened the door to a pure white unicorn with an expertly coiffed purple mane, breezing past the purple dragon whilst levitating two books in front of her as her horn glowed with a otherworldly aura. Magic in action, Wesker thought, it wasn't quite as groundbreaking and spectacular as he'd anticipated but perhaps telekinesis was a basic, entry level spell.

"Twilight, I must thank you for these excellent..." She stopped and gave Wesker a cursory greeting before taking in his appearance, mild approval at his mane degenerating to disgust at the state of his hooves, "I'm so sorry to interrupt, I'll only be a second." Wesker gave a slight nod, managing to avoid outwardly conveying his irritation, and gestured idly towards Twilight. "As I was saying, thank you so much for these excellent books, they gave me some wonderful new dressmaking ideas."

As the two chatted away, Wesker considered the newly arrived unicorn; a dressmaker? Wesker didn't really know how to feel about that, it seemed like such a frivolous waste of effort but then again, it was a living. Still, he had to question the provenance of such a business when not many ponies seemed to wear clothes. Another factor that instantly did not endear her to him was the fact that she reminded him wholeheartedly of the trophy wives exclusive to the higher ranking members of Umbrella and Tricell, wittering on to him about their latest handbag purchase and their borderline inbred, brattish children whilst he resisted the urge to unload his handgun into their face. Obviously he might have been acting unfairly, as he'd formed this judgement within around ten seconds but his instincts were seldom wrong.

After Twilight and Rarity had discussed the various beneficial points extolled in the returned texts, a subject which clearly intrigued Rarity far more than Twilight, the white unicorn allowed them to drop onto a side table, where they were allowed to rest for mere seconds before a flourishing Spike whisked them away and set off to return them to their rightful place.

With this, Rarity turned her attention back to Wesker, "Again, I'm terribly sorry about that. My name is Rarity; it is a pleasure to meet you, Mr...?"

For some pathetic reason, Wesker felt the urge to correct her with 'Dr' but managed to resist undertaking the passive aggressive swipe, mainly due to the fact that his doctorate meant very little when he was an equine, "Wesker, Albert Wesker." Time to see how correct his first impression was, "The pleasure is all mine, Lady Rarity." He heard the little dragon hiss almost imperceptibly but his attention was focused solely on the snow white unicorn and awaiting her reaction. Rather than preen and act as though this 'chivalry' was her god-given right, Rarity blushed a little and smiled coyly at Wesker. That was a promising sign, perhaps she wasn't as stuck up and insufferable as Wesker had assumed; that or his stunning good looks had rendered her dumbstruck.

I would assume it was the former, Albert.

"It's so rare that one meets a true gentlecolt in and around Ponyville." Wesker's keen ears caught an indignant grunt from Spike and this caused the corners of his mouth to turn upwards very slightly, "May I ask where you've joined us from?" The blond pony's keen mind had already anticipated the likelihood of a question along these lines, which made it all the more infuriating he'd have to resort to an unimpressive lie.

It would've been much easier, had he been able to study the geography of this world, to tailor his answer to claim he was from a far away land. As it was, he settled for: "I'm afraid that when I awoke in one of Miss Applejack's fields, I had no prior memories. All I know for sure is that I'm certainly not from around here."

Understatement of the century there, Al...

"My word!" Rarity exclaimed, "No memory of your life previous to a few days ago? How horrid."

Wesker raised an eyebrow, "If it was so easy to lose then I have to assume that it wasn't worth holding onto." He remarked drily, earning a titter from Twilight and a confused look from Rarity. Indeed, it was remarkable how easily it felt like he had shed the skin of his previous life, he felt like a phoenix, reformed from the ashes of death.

Remember that one Albert, I daresay it will come in handy for another dramatic monologue when your sanity entirely slips away.

Rarity then made an 'oh' sound as a thought occurred to her, "I should let Pinkie Pie know that there is someone new in town, she does love to meet new ponies." Wesker's mildly alarmed look elevated in severity when she added, "She'll probably round up everyone in Ponyville for a big party to welcome you."

Wesker's world famous unruffled demeanour was in danger of slipping as he nervously ran a hoof through his mane, "That really won't be necess..."

"Oh, don't be so modest, you deserve a little get together, how else will you meet everypony?" gushed Rarity, cutting across the flustered ex-STARS captain, "It was a pleasure to meet you, Albert." "I'm sure Pinkie Pie will let you know when and where her little soiree will be, I'm just off to have a little chat with her now. Thank you again for the books, Twilight. Toodleoo," With that, she breezed effortlessly out of the library, humming a little tune to herself as she left.

The adoring gaze of a certain purple dragon accompanied her every step of the way until the door slammed shut; He then turned his attention to Wesker, disturbing infatuation still visible in his eyes, "Isn't she wonderful?"

Wesker shrugged and spoke whilst casting a sidelong glance at Twilight, "I prefer the intellectual type myself." He finished this statement with a devilish grin at Miss Sparkle, feeling validated when she blushed a magnificent shade of red; he was a terrible pony, he just loved doing that.

"Erm...I...you... We were talking about books on magic, weren't we?" She managed to stammer out, god help him but Wesker recognised the reclusive, socially awkward library types when he saw them and she reminded him handily of the one person he'd ever called 'friend', William Birkin, when he'd first met him as a 17 year old boy. Being assigned as Wesker's lab partner had made Will... a bit more boisterous, Wesker chalked it up to the discoveries they were making at Umbrella boosting Birkin's self esteem, as well as the influence of his childhood sweetheart, Annette. Will tended to think differently.

June 1978, U.S.A.

"It's because you're a total ass, Al."

Wesker's nose wrinkled, "Whilst you do take every opportunity to say that, can you explain how it links in to what we were talking about this time?

Birkin paused in mock thought, "Well, aside from the fact that you need to be told it as often as physically possible...?" Wesker rolled his eyes as his fellow scientist continued, "It's because you are goddamn terrifying." Wesker smirked and pushed his sunglasses up to the bridge of his nose, causing Birkin to have his turn of eye rolling, "You're a bully, Al, if I kept acting the victim like I did a year ago, it'd never have ended, that's why I've changed so much since you met me."

"I'm not a bully." Wesker muttered indignantly, "I'm sharp witted."

"Yes." Said Birkin, like he was talking to a very small child, "And you use that sharp wit to bully people." He looked around conspiratorially, "I'm the only person in the whole research centre that isn't terrified of you, well besides Marcus, obviously but he's too busy paying attention to my amazing work to be scared of you."

Wesker took a sip of the Umbrella cafeteria's coffee with a grimace, "Clearly holding onto your lunch money is not high on your list of priorities, is it Will?" This caused Birkin to break into uncontrollable laughter and the sight of Will in hysterics caused a genuine smile to spread across Wesker's face, a sight which other Umbrella employees had a betting pool on, as to whether or not it actually existed.

Once Birkin had calmed down and wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes, he spoke up, "Hey, if we can get funding for a project of our very own then we'll have breakfast, lunch and dinner money everyday for the rest of our lives!"

Wesker delicately arched an eyebrow, "Never thought you were just in it for the money, Will."

Birkin waved a dismissive hand at his blond friend, "That's just the means to an end, we can achieve things previously thought impossible to science. We can..."

Wesker sighed as his friend rambled on, he didn't need another William Birkin monologue on how he was going to do so much groundbreaking scientific research that the world would bow down to him but the younger man's enthusiasm and ambition had a powerfully tangible effect on Albert Wesker, a man previously content with just becoming a head researcher at Umbrella. He distinctly remembered saying a silent thanks to Birkin as he gained control of the entire Umbrella database in 2003 and he believed that Birkin's attitude, and eventually memory, was the driving force behind all his actions from 1978 onwards. Until he found out about Spencer's manipulations...

Present Day, Equestria

Dead. Will was long dead. It was unusual of Wesker to reminisce and look back on events with any form of regret, he always had the internal drive to shrug off the events of the past, but all of a sudden, it felt like his only friend had died all over again. With the unexpected reminiscing that had just taken place, Wesker realised that he hadn't caught any of the titles that Twilight Sparkle had picked out for him on magic.

"I apologise, Miss Sparkle, my mind was somewhere else entirely, could you repeat the titles of the books?"

Twilight nodded with a faint smile but as she opened her mouth to respond , she was cut off by a fantastic crash which caused Wesker to take a cautionary step back as a pink blur flew through the library's front door shouting, "HEY TWILIGHT!" Wesker eventually realised that the pink blur was in fact a pink pony with a bouffant, darker pink mane and balloons as her cutie mark.

"Hey!" Ah, the pink blur was addressing him, "Ally, Pally, Wally, are you ready to PARTY?"

Albert Wesker and the Lightning Fast Appearance of the Party Animal

Just a little author's note: I literally can't wait to write Wesker meeting Discord but that is a long, long, long way off... Sigh... The hard life of a writer. Thanks everyone for your reviews, they really mean a lot to me.

Wesker blinked once in the uncomfortable silence that followed, then twice, before trying to formulate words but sadly, his mouth and brain appeared to be having an inconvenient standoff. Speaking was made even more difficult by the intense stare he was receiving from the newly met Pinkie Pie.

"Well... I..." Luckily for Wesker, he was spared the embarrassment of stumbling over his words any further by an enthusiastic interruption from the pink pony:

"Of course you are Ally, it'll be super fun! You'll get to meet everypony and shake your groove thing! If you've just got here then you must not know anypony and my parties are the best way to get to know ponies." Wesker staggered back slightly in the face of such relentless energy, he supposed he might just be able to manoeuvre his way out of this situation but it would probably take a lot of effort.

Still, he could have a half-hearted attempt, "You really don't have to throw me a party, Miss Pinkie Pie, I am already quite settled."

Unfortunately, she reacted almost exactly as Wesker predicted, with a vast grin "I know I don't have to throw you a party, Ally, I want to! Even if you already knew anyone, I couldn't let you get away from experiencing one of my super fun parties!"

I like her, Al. Go to this party or I'll do this for the next week: LALALALALALALALALALA!

Wesker managed to avoid wincing and merely nodded, "That's very kind of you. When and where will you be holding this party?" The word still felt strange and alien coming off his tongue, it certainly wasn't a word he was accustomed to saying... or hearing for that matter.

Pinkie Pie beamed at Wesker before running him through the details, "It's at Sugarcube Corner at 3 in the afternoon tomorrow, don't worry about bringing anything, it's all taken care of. We're going to have so much fun! Hope you're ready to dance, Ally, if you're not then I'll make sure you are." She said the last line with a conspiritual wink at the bewildered Wesker before bouncing out of the library, presumably to prepare for the party that the blond pony was now dreading.

Twilight must have sensed his unease as she glanced amusedly over to Wesker, "I guess you're not much of a dancer, Albert?"

Wesker looked taken aback for a brief moment but recovered smoothly, "I happen to be an excellent dancer, dear heart; I'm just not a huge fan of 'partying'. I daresay you can sympathise with someone favouring pursuits of the mind over fun?" That was only partly true; he had been an excellent dancer when he was human, solely due to his focus on control but now he had four legs he was probably going to utterly humiliate himself.

Twilight gave a large smile that had been building from the near sub-conscious use of Wesker's pet name, "You sound just like me when I first got here, I was trying to learn about Nightmare Moon; I said that everypony in this town was crazy and their incessant friend-making was getting in the way of my research."

Wesker gently cocked his head with an elevated eyebrow, "I assume I've accepted my welcoming party in a far more genial manner than you did?"

Twilight giggled, "Pinkie Pie didn't even tell me she was preparing a party, she just gasped and flew off, and then when I got back to my new home, everypony in town was waiting for me."

Wesker snorted at the idea of Miss Pinkie trying such a trick with him, when the lights came on he'd probably have killed somepony on reflex, which would most assuredly put a dampener on the celebration. "You certainly live in a very interesting town, Miss Sparkle."

Twilight let out another small laugh, "Tell me about it" then her expression grew more serious, "But there's nowhere I'd rather live, this is the nicest place I've ever been and I have some great friends here."

Wesker nodded slowly before deciding to alter the subject as Big Macintosh would probably be passing back past the house soon. He angled his foreleg so that his hoof was gesturing towards the small mountain of books that Twilight had accumulated for him, "Shall we?"

The purple unicorn nodded once, "We shall." She then went on to list the final few volumes that Wesker would need to gain an acceptable (in his opinion) level of knowledge regarding magic. During the whole exchange between himself and Twilight, he noticed that Spike had been unusually quiet; he got the distinct impression that the purple dragon didn't trust him.

He's wise not to Albert, the rest of these ponies don't seem to realise what you're actually like. I'm sure they'll know soon enough...

More likely he resented what he viewed as Wesker flirting with the obvious target of his affections. Still, he wasn't about to make any effort to reconcile with Spike, he hadn't the time or the patience, or the ability to be diplomatic.

"So..." The little dragon had spoken up, perhaps Wesker had misjudged Spike's opinion of him, "You really can't remember anything before you got to Ponyville?" There was a healthy dose of curiosity in his tone, mixed with slight sympathy and maybe even suspicion, though Wesker's natural paranoia probably invented the last one.

Wesker nodded as a slight frown crossed his lips, to make it seem as though he were frustrated with his bout of amnesia, "I can only remember fragments of my life beforehand, nothing that I can form into anything coherent." Twilight nodded sympathetically while Spike silently puzzled over the word 'coherent'.' To Wesker's great surprise, he actually felt a small amount of guilt over this deception but he unintentionally justified the need to lie every time he attempted to formulate what he'd say when telling the truth. There was literally no way he could convey the nature of the human world and what his role had been in attempting to change it, all he would do is fail and convince them all he was insane and then life here would become infinitely more unpleasant. It was a necessary evil... though 'evil' was perhaps a bit strong considering he believed the word 'evil' to be a get out clause for ignorant moralists when confronted with something they couldn't comprehend.

He didn't know why he'd been reminiscing so much recently but he recalled writing an assignment when he was 14 on the concept of murder being justifiable due to the outmoded and ill-conceived morality system by which humanity abided. He'd been forced to see the school psychologist, a fact which rankled with him then and still did now. Still, he'd taken a great deal of pleasure from tormenting that psychologist, it was incredible how those who chose to try get inside others' heads had so much conflict within their own.

Sounds familiar does it not, Albert?

"Sorry to hear that, Al. We'll make sure you can create some awesome, new memories here in Ponyville!"

Once again ignoring the mutilation of his already hated first name, Wesker gave the purple dragon a surprised almost-smile, "I appreciate that very much, Spike." Well, he must have been very far off the mark with regards to Twilight's assistant. Perhaps the dragon had merely been sizing him up the whole time and had suddenly decided that he wasn't the enemy. Wesker could only agree with that sentiment, if he were the enemy then there was little chance that he would be chatting amicably in a library with his supposed opponent.

Just then, there was a knock at the door and Wesker hoped fervently that it was Big Macintosh, he wasn't sure he could cope with another meeting with one of Miss Sparkle's friends. Spike strolled over to the door and opened it up.

"Hey Big Macintosh, you here for Al?"

"Eeyup."

Spike turned back towards the library and snickered when he saw Wesker wobbling slightly under the weight of all the books he had borrowed, the blond maned pony did realise that there was no way he could transport these texts to the empty cart that Macintosh was pulling and keep his dignity at the same time.

"Need a hand with them there books, Mr Wesker, sir?" Barely concealed amusement punctuated every syllable of Big Macintosh's speech.

For a moment, Wesker considered declining the offer and proving that he was capable of transporting all these books by himself but then small spots of light began dancing in his vision and he decided that getting help was probably a good idea, "Yes, Macintosh. It appears that my idea of a little light reading is a lot heavier than I would have assumed." All present laughed at Wesker's little joke as they divided the weight of the books between themselves, he then turned to Twilight, "I thank you for all these books, Miss Sparkle rest assured that the knowledge within will not be wasted."

Twilight smiled once more at Wesker, "Not a problem, Albert. It's always nice to meet someone who appreciates the written word as much as I do."

Albert Wesker nodded once, "Indeed, I will make sure they are returned in perfect condition." Once the books had all been placed carefully in the cart, and Wesker had hitched himself to it, he turned towards Twilight, "It was a pleasure to meet you, Miss Sparkle." He paused briefly, "Though your accusation that I cannot dance will not be forgiven so soon."

Twilight laughed happily, "It was a pleasure to meet you too, Albert and I'm sure you'll prove me wrong at Pinkie Pie's party tomorrow."

She waved to him as he and Macintosh strode off into the distance, once they were out of earshot the large red pony, who had been watching this exchange with some interest, spoke to Wesker, "Looks to me like she's sweet on y'all, Mr Wesker."

Wesker once again raised a sole eyebrow, "Are you certain that she was not just being friendly? It appears to me like everyone else around here has been equally receptive to my arrival."

Big Macintosh shrugged, "I ain't saying that it's the case, I'm jus' saying that that's how I sees it." Wesker rubbed his chin thoughtfully, he didn't agree with Macintosh in this case but perhaps he was still used to Excella style interest, whereby it was impossible to be oblivious to it. Macintosh chose this hesitation to press his advantage, "So..." He began with a small smile, "What did ya think of Miss Twilight?"

Wesker sighed, Macintosh's behaviour reminded him very much so of Will's whenever a female scientist smiled at him or spoke to him or looked in his general direction. "She was very pleasant company, something I find myself lacking right now."

Big Macintosh guffawed, "Heh, Ah don't mean nothin' by it... but it seems t'me that I touched a nerve 'bout your intentions, I think the two of ya would go great together."

I prefer the pink one, Al but that's just me.

Wesker rolled his eyes, it made sense that the rumour mill would go into overdrive in a small little town like this, every male and female pony that talked to each other were probably seen to be a couple. "I have no intentions, Macintosh. I have books and I have a party I must suffer through, nothing more." The big red pony laughed again before shaking his head ruefully and walking on in silence. "I'm serious; I have no desire to romance Miss Sparkle. Not that she is necessarily interested in me either."

This too was met with silence and a smug grin, Wesker hated it when he rambled.

Albert Wesker and Cooking

Author's note: For those wondering why Applebloom isn't mentioning Wesker's cutie mark, she hasn't formed the CMC yet. :) Also, if you want to picture Wesker "inhaling deeply through his nostrils" and "sighing contentedly", think "Complete... Global... Saturation..." :P

Wesker treated cooking as any other scientific experiment, the parameters were easy to establish, the testing environment was about as static as he could manage and all aspects were totally under his control... in theory, at least. He'd returned home from his frankly exhausting book-carting journey and had slumped inelegantly into his bed (sofa) with a myriad of confusing thoughts brought about by Big Macintosh's gentle inquisition running through his mind but he assumed that he was highly suggestible due to tiredness.

Indeed, the idea of you caring about anyone other than yourself is ludicrous, Albert.

Quite, he'd learned very young that the only person you could truly have faith in is yourself. You know your own parameters, your own capabilities, your strengths and weaknesses; you know how you will react in any given situation. If there was one thing that Albert Wesker couldn't tolerate, it was unknowns.

Now he found himself in front of an incredibly hot oven, in charge of cooking both breakfast to wake up sleeping farm ponies and dinner for Applejack and Big Macintosh once they'd all returned from Wesker's welcoming party. He wasn't sure whether he preferred doing manual labour out on the fields or cooking indoors.

"Whatcha makin' Mr Wesker?"

Ah, there was the downside of having Applebloom flitting around him as he tried to create his patented oven-baked deep-dish apple pancakes; he'd accidentally woken her up as he crept down the stairs at an improbably early hour, he'd introduced himself briskly and apologised for waking her before telling her to go back to bed. An order which she'd processed and ultimately decided to ignore.

Wesker answered without turning his head from all the ingredients he needed, neatly arranged on the countertop, next to a pre-heated oven. "Pancakes"

Applebloom cocked her head to the side, "Didn't y'all have pancakes yesterday?"

Wesker closed his eyes briefly, "We did."

Curiosity burned in the young filly's eyes, "Aren't y'all afraid that Applejack and Big Macintosh will be bored by 'em?"

"No. These pancakes are different."

"How?"

Wesker allowed himself the ghost of a smirk as he turned his head slightly to face her, "These are better."

A wide smile broke across Applebloom's face, "Boy howdy, sounds like y'all think they're gonna be swell. How can I help?"

Wesker pondered this question and for a brief moment considered the possibility that Applejack had instructed her sister to sabotage his cooking in order to claim victory in their culinary contest before chalking this up to early morning insanity, his new body did not react as well to waking up early as his previous one had. "Indeed they will be, you can help by chopping these pecan nuts." He felt as though he needed to give a cursory warning in order to remove any responsibility as a guardian, "Be careful with the knife."

Applebloom nodded happily as Wesker slid the pile of nuts across the countertop in order to create a 'workspace' for the young pony, even if she did somehow manage to mess up chopping nuts, they weren't an essential part of the recipe and he could always leave them out; though he'd really prefer not to... "What'll y'all be doin', Mr Wesker?"

Wesker sighed, why couldn't children be more like how he was as a child? Quiet and insular.

Not to mention coldly calculating and utterly amoral, in case you forgot Albert.

He didn't want to reflect on the particular memories that fact brought up and so distracted himself by providing an answer to Applebloom's question. "I will be making the pancake batter and the topping as well as peeling, slicing and cooking these apples."

"That sounds like a lotta work, Mr Wesker."

Wesker's mouth twitched as he began mixing the eggs, milk and pancake mix together before adding a tablespoon of sugar, "Not if you know what you're doing."

Applebloom's tongue poked out between her teeth as she focused on slicing the pecans, "Do ya know what you're makin' for dinner yet?"

Wesker snorted mirthlessly, "One problem at a time. I suppose I'll be going into town to see what ingredients I can find before I experience one of Miss Pinkie Pie's 'world famous' parties. Then I'll cook up whatever I was inspired to create afterwards."

Applebloom peeked up from her attempt to set a world record for most carefully cut pecan nuts, "Y'all don't sound too excited 'bout your welcomin' party, Mr Wesker."

Wesker frowned contemplatively, "You could say that. I've never been the partying type."

Now it was Applebloom's turn to frown, "How'd y'all know?"

Wesker's eyebrow quirked upwards, "I beg your pardon?"

Applebloom had the decency to look mildly sheepish at her bluntness before pressing on, "Applejack told me y'all had no memory of your life before. How'd you know y'all weren't a party pony?"

Wesker was momentarily struck dumb by the young filly's perceptiveness before swiftly rectifying the situation, "Memories aren't always what define a pony's personality, Miss Applebloom, though I can still remember fragments. It just seems to be the case that I never enjoyed social gatherings, perhaps you are right though, I daresay I'll find out this afternoon." That was relatively well recovered, god forbid that he be unintentionally outmanoeuvred by an inquisitive child.

Applebloom nodded sagely, obviously glad to be conversed with on an equal level, "Must be awful t'have no memories, I'm mighty sorry."

The annoyingly persistent twinge of guilt that Wesker felt was quickly chased away by rationality as he nodded once, "That's kind of you to say, Miss Applebloom but not necessary, I am coping as well as I could have hoped." At least that wasn't an outright lie; he was coping with death and being resurrected as a talking pony far better than he ever imagined he would... not that becoming a talking pony had been a common chain of thought in his previous life.

Applebloom remained mercifully silent as Wesker mixed together some cinnamon and the remaining sugar in order to create the topping he would apply once he'd cooked the apples, sprinkled the pecans on top and then poured the batter over the resulting mixture. The cooking seemed to take on the simple flow that he was accustomed to, allowing his mind to wander as he ran on auto-pilot.

Isn't this better than being shot in the face with rocket launchers, Al?

Heh, he definitely couldn't argue that point, though he'd still never seen himself settling down into a simple wholesome life, he'd always seen such an existence as the reserve of the foolish and the unambitious.

Which one are you then, Albert?

It was incredibly obvious which one option he had leant more heavily towards, if he had to pick which one of the two flaws had defined him prior to his death. He'd barely even planned out his plan to become God of all he surveyed, the more he considered it, the more apocalyptically short-sighted he realised he had been. What would've happened to the world economy? How would he have united the disparate pockets of survivors? How would he crush the resistance of those who inevitably opposed him? Perhaps it was a good thing that he had failed, the difficulty of that operation would have destroyed his sanity just as surely as defeat to Redfield had.

During the course of his musings, Wesker finished off the preparation for his pancakes and added possibly the most meticulously chopped nuts in history to the mixture before placing it gently in the oven.

Wesker nodded in a vaguely satisfied manner, "Should be ready in around 20 minutes." He turned towards a beaming Applebloom, "Thank you for your help."

I'm sure I couldn't have coped without you, he thought sardonically.

The wide smile on the young filly grew even wider; a feat that Wesker didn't believe was physically possible. "Ain't nothin'. Ah'm happy t'help, anythin' else ya need?"

Wesker pondered this briefly before realising there was another favour he needed done, "Could you wake up Applejack and Big Macintosh?" He was tempted to wake up Applejack himself so that she could see his expression of smug superiority as her first sight of the day but Wesker figured that he valued his nether regions too highly to risk it, not to mention the fact that he was only half way to winning this competition... if that.

"Yes sir!" The little pony zipped up the stairs at a pace that Wesker would have envied when he was superhuman.

The corners of his mouth turned very slightly upwards when he heard Applejack cry out, "What in tarnation?" Followed by the unmistakable sound of an overly energetic filly bouncing on a bed. No doubt she was probably excited beyond words for her siblings sampling the pancakes that she 'helped make'. Eventually he heard the sound of hooves coming down the stairs, no doubt heralding the arrival of three hungry, expectant ponies.

It was Applejack's voice he heard first, unsurprisingly, "Boy howdy, that sure smells..." She walked into the kitchen and clocked Wesker's self-satisfied visage, "...satisfactory." She finished with a devilish grin.

Wesker returned the expression with a raised eyebrow, "I'm sure you can whip up something for yourself if it doesn't quite meet your standards." He inhaled deeply through his nostrils at the delicious scent of his pancakes and sighed contentedly, "It would be your loss though, Applejack."

Applejack's mouth twisted slightly, torn between annoyance and amusement... and hunger. She sat down at the table just as Big Macintosh arrived in the room with Applebloom riding on his back.

Applebloom seemed to be in fine spirits and it appeared to have rubbed off on Macintosh. The younger of the two was whooping and cheering as though competing in a rodeo whilst the elder was chuckling heartily.

Wesker removed the pancakes for the oven and split them evenly onto four plates before placing each one at a separate placemat on the table, "I believe this puts me halfway towards victory, dear Applejack."

The orange pony merely rolled her eyes in reply before diving into Wesker's pancakes, Applebloom and Big Macintosh followed suit. Applejack eventually saw fit to speak to Wesker, once the pancakes had been roundly demolished with a begrudging, "I'll bet y'all will mess up dinner somehow", causing Wesker to smirk evilly. "So what are y'all gonna do today? You got a while 'til we gotta go to Pinkie Pie's."

"I believe I shall be shopping for ingredients, I do wish to win in style."

Applejack hmph'd, "And ah thought ah was competitive."

Wesker snorted, "You started the contest, Miss Applejack, I am merely standing my ground." This evoked a snicker from Macintosh and a sigh from Applejack. "Now, I believe I will set off towards town and purchase the ingredients I need... then I suppose I shall read the books kindly leant to me by Miss Sparkle."

He didn't miss the conspiritual, knowing look exchanged between the large red pony and the orange, hat-wearing pony as he walked out of the kitchen and onto the dirt track outside. He felt the need to clarify the situation: "I have no interest in her whatsoever!"

The chuckles that permeated after him suggested that he was entirely unsuccessful in quelling their irritating theories.

Albert Wesker and Meeting an Incredibly Shy Pony

It was a pleasant enough day in the viewpoint of Albert Wesker, the sun was shining brightly and Wesker's finely tuned ears could hear the agreeable sound of birds chirping in the distance. No pulling a heavy iron plough, no having to dispute juvenile accusations with regards to his personal life and certainly no rogue B.O.W.'s to deal with. Therefore it was unusual, in Wesker's eyes, that he was so pessimistic about his upcoming welcoming party.

I'm not surprised, Al. You can be a real stick-in-the-mud. Lighten up, man!

Wesker hmph'd internally, what purpose did 'fun' serve? Even if he were more receptive to 'loosening up', he would dare to venture that his concept of fun varied wildly to what the hyperactive pony who planned this get-together would claim fun was. It wasn't really a word he had truly considered the meaning of, he had been so absorbed in his work and in his grand vision for the world that he'd considered anything outside either one to be a meaningless frivolity and left it at that.

But you don't have any 'grand project' anymore, Al. Just try and have fun, it's a party... The worst case scenario is still better than 95% of what's already happened to you.

True, the land of Equestria appeared to be a fairly peaceful, harmonious place; especially when compared to Earth, not to mention that he was only going to a party, the worst case scenario was probably getting a drink spilt over him and then proving himself to be sub-par at dancing with four legs. Hardly a life threatening situation, he admonished himself lightly.

Thus, it was with cautious optimism that Wesker set off to the market to peruse for ingredients which would ensure a crushing, culinary defeat over his orange, blond maned rival. Wesker also decided that due to the satchel that he had slung over his neck being relatively filled with bits, he would see if anything else on the market took his fancy. The former human felt he was entitled to some sort of luxury purchase in the midst of all this madness, though what form that took remained to be seen.

At the moment he was still on the path towards Ponyville town centre and was therefore still walking in seclusion and remained fully focused on admiring the peaceful countryside. Whilst it could never be said that Wesker had a romantic soul, he was still capable of appreciating an attractive view and the countryside on the outskirts of Ponyville could certainly be described as such. With his attention diverted elsewhere, however, he found himself taking his eyes away from the road and was therefore caught entirely unawares when he walked straight into another pony, who also appeared to be otherwise engaged.

An incredibly quiet voice uttered forth from Wesker's abruptly met acquaintance, so much so that Wesker had to crane his neck to hear the single word, "Ouch."

Wesker was annoyed with the occurrence but it was primarily directed inwards due to his vacant mindset at the time. He had never been one to let his mind wander when there were tasks to be accomplished but not only had he been admiring the scenery, he hadn't even noticed another pony until he'd walked directly into her. What on earth was this place doing to him?

Wesker surveyed the pony he'd accidentally walked into; she appeared to have been static at the time, looking after... bunnies? She was a pegasus pony with a yellow coat and a pink mane, which was swept over one eye and she was currently looking at Wesker with a combination of shyness and fear, with apologetic regret written all over her face.

She didn't seem inclined to speak any time soon, so Wesker decided to break the silence, "I apologise, Miss. My mind was somewhere else entirely; I trust you are all right?" A small noise issued from the mouth of the yellow pony, one which Wesker decided he was incapable of deciphering, "I'm sorry Miss, I didn't quite catch that."

As the pink maned pony looked everywhere other than Wesker, she made a small squeaking noise that Wesker considered to be more akin to a mouse than a pony. In an attempt to break the awkwardness, the blond pony looked down at the numerous rabbits that were being cared for...

Hey Al, I swear that white one just rolled his eyes and shrugged at you.

That was what his eyes told him but his brain had dismissed this as an obvious symptom of concussion. Still, perhaps she would respond a little more... vocally to a conversation about her pets. "I hope I didn't startle your rabbits."

Wesker felt a small sense of accomplishment as the pony finally spoke more than one word that he could hear, though only just, "Oh, it's okay. Angel and his friends are pretty tough." The aforementioned white rabbit winked at Wesker as the latter wondered if his mind had finally collapsed in on itself. She paused and looked like she was struggling to continue talking but somehow she persevered, " I know you didn't mean to walk into me... I should have been more aware of what was around me."

Wesker arched an eyebrow, "It was my fault, I was moving and you were still. May I ask you your name, Miss...?"

"Fluttershy" It was unusual that she faced away from Wesker whilst telling him her name so that he had to lean inwards in order to catch it, though the blond pony chalked it up to the fact that she appeared to rather neatly match her name. He'd never met anyone so cripplingly shy in his life.

"A pleasure, Miss Fluttershy" Wesker said cordially, "I am Albert Wesker. If you are headed into town then I'd be happy to accompany you." Fluttershy nodded once and gently encouraged the bunnies other than Angel to go play, which they promptly did. It was at this point that Wesker noted the yellow pony's butterfly cutie mark and he came to the conclusion that her 'special talent' had something to do with animals. He also kept a careful eye on the unnaturally intelligent rabbit that Fluttershy referred to as 'Angel', he wasn't one to let a potential unknown catch him off-guard.

"I think Applejack mentioned you, Albert." Wesker appreciated Fluttershy's attempt to make conversation as they walked towards the Ponyville town centre, it didn't appear that she made much small talk with newly met ponies... and he was hardly the most social of creatures.

"Indeed?" Wesker queried, "All positive, I assume?"

Fluttershy blanched, "O... of course. She s... said that you were a nice, hard-working pony."

Wesker smirked evilly at the yellow pegasus' reaction and at the thought of the contest he and Applejack had going on, "Really, Miss Fluttershy? That's all she had to say?"

Fluttershy hid behind a veil of pink as she stared awkwardly down at the ground, her hooves tracing small circles on the ground, "Oh... She might also have mentioned that you had a 'wicked smile' and that you'd 'face down 5 manticores and a dragon just to meet a challenge.'"

Wesker snorted amusedly, "She seems to have got the measure of me fairly rapidly." An amusing thought occurred to him, could he make this pegasus cringe like he did with Will when he first met him? "What do you think of me, though, Miss Fluttershy?"

As expected, the pink maned pony blushed furiously and began examining her hooves, "I... I... You... s... seem nice?" She managed to stutter out.

Wesker put on a front of mock offence, "I seem nice? Having doubts about me, are you?"

The mortified pony attempted to stammer about an apology before Wesker sighed, she was far beyond the timidity of even the young Birkin; she was probably going to burst a blood vessel if he kept this up. "Calm yourself, Miss Fluttershy, I was only teasing, I wouldn't have expected you to have formed a conclusive judgement on me after a matter of minutes."

Fluttershy sighed with relief and slowly returned to her original colouration, "I'm sorry, Pinkie Pie always says I should learn more about jokes and pranks."

Wesker made a face, "Having met her, I'm not surprised that she says that."

Fluttershy giggled shyly, "She does love to have fun, doesn't she?"

Wesker's lips twitched as he turned to face the pegasus pony, "She certainly does, I believe she's organised a welcome party for me at 3pm today."

Fluttershy nodded, a small smile playing about her lips also, "Yes. She says that you get to have the dance floor all to yourself for the first hour."

Wesker stopped dead, panic playing across his usually cool features, "She said that?"

Fluttershy giggled before looking at Wesker in a puzzled fashion, "Was that teasing? Did I do it right?" She looked once at Wesker's vacant expression before pawing lightly at the ground, "Sorry if I upset you."

Wesker let out a sigh of relief before shaking his head disbelievingly, "A good first attempt, Miss Fluttershy but you still have a lot to learn..."

Albert Wesker and the Luxury Purchase

Author's Note: Hey, gimme a break, I'm writing this chapter at half 5 in the morning because I can't sleep and because I was up til 6 on Saturday finishing my assignment , my sleeping pattern is messed uppppp. :P Thanks everyone for reviews, it's awesome that people are enjoying the story, to be honest I was expecting to put up one chapter and everyone to just go 'GTFO'. So you know, you rock... woohoo...

Fluttershy was never going to win awards for her social skill Wesker pondered but then... neither was he. She was affable enough company for the blond pony's liking and had an ability which seemed to evade many of Ponyville's citizens, the ability to not speak incessantly. That isn't to say that they spent the entire journey in complete silence, Wesker made the obligatory small talk and was able to confirm that his theory surrounding the pink-maned pegasus' cutie mark was correct. He also found out that Fluttershy was close friends with a few of the ponies he had met already, Applejack and Pinkie Pie of course but also Twilight and Rarity. She also made a reference to another pegasus called 'Rainbow Dash', who Wesker needed to keep an eye out for, from the sound of her escapades.

Eventually, Wesker and his companion reached Ponyville's town centre, a pleasant enough sprawl of market stands and charming homes. Fluttershy bade farewell as she passed the spa, apparently her and Rarity met there regularly to catch up. "It was nice to meet you, Albert. Have a nice day."

Wesker inclined his head politely, "The same to yourself, Miss Fluttershy, I shall see you later today." She gave a small smile and with that exited into the spa, a building which Wesker felt catered far too readily for the idle and those with too much money lining their pockets but he couldn't begrudge her a little relaxation, it seemed to him as though she was a mildly stressful situation away from a heart attack at all times.

Perhaps you should join her, Albert. It appears to me that you are one stressful situation away from transforming yourself into a monster and trying to drag your rivals into lava.

Wesker sighed, he felt he probably deserved that, his questionable sanity during the last few years of his previous life still irked him. He had seen the fates of Nicolai, Birkin and countless others who had lost their minds to the machinations of Spencer and Umbrella as a whole and promised himself that he would never lose control of his ice cold grip on reality, a promise he'd ultimately failed to keep... spectacularly. It was all in the past now, Wesker thought, he was 'back to normal' for want of a better expression and would never allow himself to be consumed with megalomania again... at least, no more than his personality naturally demanded.

A noble goal, Albert, let's see how long you manage to adhere to it before you break... again.

Wesker ignored the persistent Critical and ambled around the market in the fine, spring weather, this certainly beat pulling a plough into a distant second place. The weak glare of the early morning sun in his eyes was irritating, certainly, but it was undoubtedly better than having to walk into it whilst lugging a lump of iron behind him.

Eventually Wesker found the stall which gave him a bolt of culinary inspiration, run by a pony with carrots as her cutie mark. He could create some sort of carrot dish, it fitted the simple sensibilities of the Apple family but they were just versatile enough for Wesker to innovate with his creation.

The price of all the carrots that Wesker bought came to around 4 bits, he wasn't sure enough about Equestria's currency to attempt to bargain so he cordially exchanged them for the orange, root vegetables before tucking them away in the satchel by his side with an air of self-satisfaction. A second bolt of inspiration arrived, hot on the heels of the last. Carrots Vichy! Perfection... at least they would be under his expert care, then Applejack would acknowledge his superiority and then...

Hahaha! Al, you're not used to things being short term and just for fun are you?

Wesker blinked, there was that infernal word again; he supposed the cooking competition he and Applejack had devised was fun, it certainly sparked the competitiveness within him. Furthermore, it was indeed short-term, he didn't stand to properly gain anything from this affair, other than pride and he already had an ample supply of that. He shrugged off his musing, he had picked up an annoying tendency to introspect recently and it was causing him to doubt his previous actions and mindset, something which he had never been inclined to do. The past was the past, all that mattered was the present... and usually the future, but he was starting to feel that wasn't the case in Equestria.

The sun peeking out from behind Rarity's boutique disrupted his current thought process once more and he gritted his teeth. He wasn't super-sensitive to light anymore but the brightness still served to remind him of the laboratory accident when he was 15 which had damaged his eyes and caused corneal abrasion. He'd had to wear sunglasses every waking hour, a fact which hadn't duly bothered him as he didn't care what others had thought of him constantly wearing sunglasses, though it was a minor inconvenience. Of course, his rebirth after the Arklay incident heralded the complete renovation of his eyesight but he'd still worn his now trademark eyewear out of habit and due to his serpentine pupils; the irony had not been lost on him.

You did find it funny, Al. Just... no-one could tell.

As though summoned by his thoughts, a female stall owning pony with jet-black hair noticed his cutie mark and waved him towards her, he arched an eyebrow but decided to stroll over, he still had a lot of time to kill until Pinkie Pie's not-so formal soiree.

Wesker's confusion was well hidden and he politely begun speaking, "Good morning Miss, what is it you require?"

The stall owner smiled politely as her eyes flicked down to Wesker's cutie mark again, "Sorry to bother you sir, I don't suppose you're in the market for a pair of sunglasses are you? It's just that, well, I have a pair here that I've been trying to sell for a while and I thought, what with your cutie mark and all..." She let the sentence trail off, point firmly made.

Wesker grazed a hoof across his chin in contemplation, mildly affronted that ponies seemed to think that his 'special talent' appeared to be just wearing sunglasses. "May I see them?" The stall owner's smile widened in gratitude as she dug around on her side of the wooden structure, allowing Wesker to look around the stall he'd been summoned to, it appeared that she sold accessories. Pony watches, pony hats... pony sunglasses too, it appeared. Eventually, she unearthed the elusive glasses and held them up for Wesker's evaluation. The blond pony's eyes widened and he had to hold back a very uncharacteristic gasp; they were practically identical to the sunglasses he'd worn for most of his life, unfortunately his shock appeared to have been registered by the stall owner and she attempted to press the advantage.

"You like 'em, huh? Only 3 bits and they're all yours."

Wesker arched an eyebrow imperiously, "Correct me if I'm wrong, Miss but I believe you told me that you had been 'trying to sell them for a while'?" She nodded, slight frown on her lips at the minor slip-up she had made. "I'll give you 2 bits for them."

The black haired pony made several noises of contemplation before nodding reluctantly, "You sure do drive a hard bargain, sir."

Wesker smirked wryly as he fished into his bag to retrieve her payment, "I am famed for it, Miss." He slipped the sunglasses straight on as soon as they had been handed over by the lightly chuckling female pony.

Completion, it felt odd to see the world the world through a slightly darkened haze again but it also felt as though he had restored some key part of himself that he had lost when discarding the eyewear during the fight with Chris and his partner on the ship. Furthermore, he didn't feel as though this part of him was a danger to himself or others, it was like a calm assurance in his own mind that couldn't be shaken.

Unfortunately, the black-maned pony didn't appear to appreciate the significance of the moment as she merely smiled at Wesker before adding, "Thank you very much, sir. Enjoy your new glasses."

Wesker turned back as he walked off, surveying the stall owner from over the top of the lenses as a light smirk graced his features, "My pleasure, dear heart. I certainly will." His smirk grew as he saw the sheepish grin and light blush spread across her face before he turned back and walked towards a stall which sold herbs and spices. He was still in a positive mood once he'd paid for the thyme he was going to use to season his, undoubtedly soon-to-be, superb carrot dish. He now he had around 4 and a half hours until Pinkie Pie's party and he'd completed all his essential (relatively speaking) tasks for the morning.

Luckily, he had brought a few of Miss Twlight's books with him and removed one from his bag whilst settling down under the shade of a tree, humming contentedly at the familiar feel of his sunglasses shifting slightly down his nose at the movement. As he opened 'An Abridged History of Equestria', he realised that it was very difficult to read the words with his sunglasses on, as he had previously been attuned to the brighter environment.

Wesker sighed as he took the glasses off and settled them down on the grass next to him; practicality had no respect for the significance of his prized eyewear...

Albert Wesker and the Party, Part I

Author's note: The date of Sherry's sixth birthday that I've used here is actually my date of birth. Also, I've always seen Wesker as having a sense of humour; it's just a little dark, as well as sarcastic and subtle.

It was an enjoyable manner in which to whittle away a few hours; Wesker had always enjoyed non-fictional reading material and 'An Abridged History of Equestria' proved to be no exception. The title was perhaps deceptive as its use of the term 'abridged' was probably only considered appropriate from the vantage of the academic who penned it; it was certainly a weighty tome. Wesker had learned a great deal about the composition of Equestria, both geographically and in terms of the outlook and history of some of its most eminent citizens. Conversely, the text had been fairly sketchy in its mention of 'Nightmare Moon' and the 'Elements of Harmony', partially understandable due to the 1000 year gap between the events and the publication of said book. One particular subject, however, had piqued his interest even further than the last two; this was the mention of the 'Goddess', Princess Celestia. Apparently both her and her sister, Luna, had been responsible for the raising of the sun and the lowering of the moon respectively, once Luna had attempted to rebel against her sister, the elder had banished her to the moon and taken responsibility for both solar and lunar movements. Wesker had assumed it to be a fairy tale, used to both glorify royalty and explain away concepts which were far beyond their medieval understanding.

What had truly astounded him was both the fact that this 'Princess Celestia' was still alive and that the book spoke as though she was certainly responsible for cosmic occurrences. His dual-fold theories that all females in the particular royal bloodline were known as Celestia and that somehow technology and modern opinion had somehow been forcibly stagnated for 1000 years were both refuted later on in the text and he was compelled to confront the possibility that there really was a goddess in amidst this madness.

A real deity Albert, isn't that deliciously ironic? That you should fail in your quest to become a God and find one in the afterlife?

It couldn't be true, so soon after he'd accepted that perhaps he'd overreached the bounds of his capabilities... now he was being forced to witness this almighty being who represented all that he had failed to accomplish. Who was born superior, had ultimate power whilst ruling all she surveyed and yet apparently acted with wisdom and benevolence at all times, it was infuriating.

Ultimately, he dismissed it; it would only serve to antagonise him until he was able to produce concrete assertions on what exactly this 'Celestia' was. Another item to be neatly sort into the 'save for later' folder, as it were. He would question Miss Sparkle about Celestia; the worn pages and occasional, indecipherable jottings proved that the purple unicorn had read this book thoroughly, so she would at the very least have a basic level understanding that he could use to compliment his own. Snapping the now-finished book closed, he glanced up at large clock in the town square.

2:30. Not very long at all now until Pinkie Pie's party, so he supposed there was no chance of him being able to avoid it... not that he necessarily wanted to. There would be free food, no doubt, and a chance to prove his dancing ability, he just had to endure a series of benign conversations and new people to meet... ultimately, he would probably be glad when it ended but he could still attempt to enjoy the aspects that he didn't outright loathe.

That's positive thinking, Al! At least, for you it is...

Well, he was still Albert Wesker; he was hardly going to turn up with a big grin and one of those ridiculous hats that you could drink beer out of... though he doubted that this party involved alcohol of any form, especially with the 3pm start. Unless, of course, he had severely misjudged the citizens of Ponyville. The slow and leisurely walk to Sugarcube Corner, a location which Fluttershy had given Wesker directions to during their stroll together, took around 20 minutes so he was slightly early for his welcoming party, which was probably the polite thing to do anyway.

He could hear a few ponies chattering away happily as he took a deep breath and prepared to knock on the door. He rapped three times and barely had time to blink before the door flew open and Pinkie Pie stood in the frame with an exuberant grin plastered across her face, "Ally! The star of the party's here, I'm so glad you came; I like your glasses by the way. Oh, it's going to be so much fun. Sorry the door was closed, normally I leave it open so that ponies can get in whenever they want but I totally forgot!"

Wesker flinched slightly at the verbal onslaught before mentally shaking himself and replying, "I am sure I would have heard from you had I missed it."He looked around the room as she giggled, obviously everyone wasn't here yet but there was still around a dozen ponies ambling around the surprisingly large Sugarcube Corner, which had been decorated with balloons of various colours (some pink) as well as streamers (mainly pink) and various banners which read 'Welcome Al' (solely pink). Why did people insist on calling him Al? He had never introduced himself as such and yet it seemed individuals were falling over themselves to butcher his Christian name, which he already detested. Will had done it because he knew how much Wesker hated it but everyone else should really know better; he'd never been one to care for social trivialities though and had never said anything about the subject.

"Of course, Ally, I'd have dragged you all the way here but it would have made my legs tired, I'm glad you decided to walk here yourself."

Wesker snorted, "As am I, Miss Pinkie." He surveyed the room once more, there were several tables laden with party food and punch, not to mention some sort of tail-pinning game on the wall opposite and a few feet to the right of that was an enormous chocolate cake which Wesker assumed was the centrepiece for his welcoming celebration. He turned to the pink pony with one eyebrow raised, "Exactly how many ponies are coming here?"

Pinkie looked at him incredulously before giggling, "Well, I invited everypony in town, silly! Everypony in Ponyville wants to be friends with you; my parties just make it easier for them and you."

He supposed that made sense, at least he could cram all this pointless social interaction into a small time period, rather than stretching it out over weeks, months or even years. There was a minor point which occupied his mind currently, though, "Will there be enough room to fit in all the ponies in town?"

Pinkie Pie looked blankly at Wesker for a moment before another wide grin spread across her face, "Of course, Ally, I've had tons of parties here before, you need to stop being such a worrying worrypants."

Interesting choice of words, he pondered, "Duly noted, Miss Pinkie."

The pink pony beamed sunnily at Wesker before she appeared to recall something, her mouth making a little 'o' of remembrance, "There's someone I want you to meet, Ally." With that she hooked her front leg around Wesker's and whisked him off towards the punch table where a cyan pegasus with a multi-coloured mane and a lightning bolt cutie was awaiting, sipping on a beverage.

Whilst he was in forced transit, Wesker tried to recall the last time he went to a party that wasn't unbearably formal... and recollection hit him with a great deal of force.

July 2nd 1992, U.S.A

"Happy Birthday Sherry! Blow out the candles and make a wish."

Wesker joined the various other friends and acquaintances of William Birkin and his daughter in (in his case) half-hearted applause. He lightly sipped the rich red wine he was drinking as Will congratulated his daughter on blowing out the candles first time.

Wesker was bored, William had forced him to come straight to this party slash barbeque from work and the younger scientist had been so relentless and dogged in his insistence that Wesker had eventually caved. The tall, blond had never enjoyed parties and he'd certainly never enjoyed children's parties, he supposed he should be grateful that Birkin hadn't forced him to drink soda and sing 'Happy Birthday' with them. He tuned back into the conversation that Will was sharing with his daughter as Annette looked over at the pair of them lovingly.

It was Will who was currently talking as his daughter flushed gently from all the attention, "Good job sweetie, what'd you wish for?"

"Come on Will, it won't come true if she tells you." Annette scolded gently,

Birkin winked roguishly at his wife, "Of course it will, honey." He turned back to the 6 year old girl, "What was it you wished for, Sherry?"

Sherry chewed on her fingernails anxiously as she tried to summon the words she wanted, then she looked directly at Wesker, "I wished for Uncle Albert to have fun and to dance with everyone else." Wesker froze as everyone present began chuckling affectionately at the sweet wish, he took another sip as his eyes widened in horror behind his mirrored shades. Why did people always seem to think that he needed to have fun all the time? Lab reports were fun enough for his mentality; he certainly didn't need to prance about like a fool.

Birkin laughed out loud as he ruffled Sherry's hair, "Well, sweetie, the birthday girl will get her wish, won't she, Uncle Albert?" Wesker had to resist the urge to bare his teeth at Will's smug expression as every pair of eyes in the garden, child and adult, turned towards the intimidating man in a black polo neck with black trousers, his white lab coat discarded somewhere inside Will's home.

Wesker took another sip to delay answering before facing reality, "I'm already having fun, William. And I certainly do not need to dance to increase that 'fun'.

Almost everyone present let out a disappointed sigh as Birkin's smile grew at his lab partner's obvious discomfort, "Uh uh uh, Al. The birthday girl has spoken; when the music comes on... you're dancing. You know why?" His tone brooked no further argument and Wesker rolled his eyes behind his glasses, sometimes he felt he had allowed Birkin to influence him in a manner which evaded every other human being.

"Do share, Will."

"Because I'm in charge of the barbeque and I know you haven't had anything to eat today." Light hearted chortles permeated around the garden at Birkin's manoeuvring.

Wesker smirked as his stomach reminded him of his hunger before he raised his wine glass skywards and inclined his head towards Will, "It appears you win this round, Birkin." Quiet cheers erupted from the gathered populace of the garden and Will returned his friend's smirk before kissing the top of his daughter's head and strolling off towards the barbeque.

Unbeknownst to Birkin, Wesker had already formulated a plan as to how he could keep his friend happy whilst not having to actually dance. It was a mutually satisfying arrangement, but he wouldn't have to worry about it for a couple of hours. He glanced around the garden, the primary audience appeared to be couples with young children like Annette and William Birkin, there were only a few fellow Umbrella employees and, unlike Wesker, they had appeared to be disinclined to talk about work whilst they were here, so Wesker had withdrawn and had hoped to stay unnoticed the entire party... It had been going well, up until Sherry's wish, which Wesker suspected as having her father's hand behind it.

The next couple of hours passed slowly for Albert Wesker, lost in a creeping haze of menial conversations, delicious burgers (which were handed over knowingly by Birkin) and glasses of red wine. Eventually, Annette stood by the stereo which had been placed outside and announced that the time to dance had arrived; knowing that every eye was on him, he put his scheme into action.

He strolled up to the birthday girl, who was chatting with friends her age, and held out his hand, his slight amusement at the absurdity of the situation present in his deep voice, "I believe I owe you a dance, Miss Birkin." The young girl giggled and placed her small hand in Wesker's much larger one. Instructing her to stand on his feet, Wesker began swaying and stepping in time with the music coming from the radio as Sherry's laughter threatened to drown it out.

She looked up at him in awe, "You must be the coolest adult ever, Uncle Albert."

Wesker looked over to where Will and Annette were watching them, bemusement and humour written all across their faces, "I believe you may be right, Sherry."

They 'danced' like that for around 15 minutes before Will's energetic nature encouraged him to take Wesker's place, clapping a hand on his friend's shoulder as he set out to do so, "Thanks Al." He said quietly before turning to Sherry with an exaggerated bow, "May I, Sherry?" She giggled again, nodded and then unexpectedly flung herself into a hug with Wesker, which he awkwardly returned once his shock had subsided.

As she clung to him, Wesker whispered something which he hadn't necessarily intended her to hear, "You're lucky to have parents who love you so much, Sherry."

Sherry smiled up at him once she'd let go, "I know Uncle Albert." Wesker had nodded and with that, both her and her father had shot off, the pair of them giggling all the way

He drained the rest of the crimson liquid in his glass and looked pensively around the bustling garden as he set off towards a nearby bottle. He supposed, as far as parties went, it could have far worse.

Albert Wesker and the Party, Part II

Author's note: Thanks for the reviews again, guys, appreciate it. To MorenoX25: that's very true, I had been feeling that it was all going a little bit too smoothly for Wesker, considering he'd just popped into existence in Equestria, hence the next two chapters that I've been planning since around chapter 7. P.S. Rainbow Dash is my least favourite of the Mane 6, but I still like her.

Once he'd shaken off the slightly dizzying effect of the memory of Sherry Birkin's 6th birthday appearing unbidden at the forefront of his consciousness, Wesker found himself face to face with who he assumed to be 'Rainbow Dash', judging by her coloration.

She also appeared to have been speaking, and noticed Wesker's sudden snap back to reality while waving a hoof in front of his eyes. "Hello? Anypony in there?"

Wesker shook himself. "Apologies, Miss Dash, my mind was still in the book I was reading earlier." The lie slipped easily from his lips; he certainly knew how to act the part of the amnesiac, it seemed.

"Heard of me, huh?" Rainbow Dash preened slightly, Wesker's vacuous spell forgotten. "The fame of the coolest, fastest pony in Ponyville is spreading. Where you from? How far has the legend of Rainbow Dash travelled?"

Wesker arched an eyebrow. She hadn't even asked him his name... and people had the tenacity to call him arrogant. "I'm afraid that I awoke in Ponyville two days ago without any memory of my life prior. Miss Fluttershy told me about you." Wesker couldn't help but feel a sense of smug accomplishment as the cyan Pegasus deflated slightly, but carefully marshalled his features to avoid betraying this. The first impression he must have given to Rainbow had already been pretty poor, and he didn't need to compound that by laughing at her damaged ego.

"Oh," Rainbow Dash paused before ploughing on. "Well, it's only a matter of time, right? Liking the shades, Al, you're almost as cool as me."

Wesker failed to bite back the scathing retort his mind had lined up. "Indeed, Miss Dash, though isn't it generally considered 'cool' to be fashionably late?"

Rather than respond with jocularity at Wesker's retort, as he had somewhat expected, Rainbow flushed. "Well... erm..." Wesker raised an eyebrow at her stumbling over words. "Ya know... I was thirsty." She immediately took a large sip of punch, as if to prove her point, prompting another arched eyebrow from Wesker.

It was at that moment that he realized who she inexorably reminded him of: Joseph Frost. The Alpha Team S.T.A.R.S. member had seemingly been on a one man mission to be seen as 'cool' and had relentlessly pursued this goal, the bandanna being the most visible result. Wesker had assumed Frost was trying to impress Jill Valentine, but ultimately the captain of S.T.A.R.S. had known only one thing: he had loathed Joseph Frost with a fiery passion.

The sound of his dying throes had brought Wesker a great deal of savage pleasure. The man was a Neanderthal and only Brad Vickers' cowardice prevented Frost from being his most hated underling. He respected bravery as much as he detested cowardice, but bone-headed obliviousness was NOT what he would consider 'brave', and trying to elevate yourself above your peers via gimmicks and so-called 'charisma' rather than hard work and intellectualism… It made Wesker's blood boil.

Perhaps he was being unfair again. He had admittedly misjudged both Rarity and Spike, and there was a chance that this Rainbow Dash was not an arrogant, attention-seeking ignorant.

But judging by her endless posturing, he had his doubts.

The subject on his musings was leaning casually against the punch table, still sipping thoughtfully on her beverage through a straw. "So, you can't remember anything about who you were before?"

The blond pony shook his head, annoyance bubbling just below the surface. "Only my name."

To Wesker's shock, her features twisted into those of suspicion. "Nothing at all? Not your home town? The names of your friends back where you live?"

His jaw clenched. Was she deliberately trying to antagonize him? Pinkie Pie had bounced off amongst the various early-arriving party ponies and he was unable to use her to divert Rainbow Dash's relentless inquisition.

"No. I don't remember anything."

Rainbow cocked her head to the side and looked sidelong at the increasingly vexed ex-human. "Huh. Sorry to hear that Al, I guess."

Not only did she not sound particularly sorry, Wesker could also still sense a great deal of skeptical cynicism radiating from the cyan Pegasus. Were the circumstances different, he would assume that she had seen through his facade, but as it was he knew that she was merely being obstinate for no obvious reason.

It was starting to rankle.

Luckily, he was saved what would no doubt have been an infuriating reply by the steady trickle of guests arriving and a certain pink whirlwind bounding over towards him. "Aren't you excited, Ally? They're all here to see you... and to come to my party... but mainly to see you!"

The foul mood that had settled over Wesker dissipated slightly at Pinkie's enthusiasm, but he was acutely aware of the situation. The cyan pegasus did not trust him, and for his part, he hated everything she represented.

Hmm, hardly a match made in heaven, Al. Just try not to deliberately antagonize her, you tend to do that sometimes. Besides, how can you hate someone for being arrogant?

Wesker snorted internally. He had earned his arrogance! As for deliberately antagonizing others, that might be true, though they usually irritated him first and were unable to cope when he retaliated. Even so, he conceded the point: it would not do to make an enemy out of this Rainbow Dash, if only for convenience's sake. Avoiding her would probably the most prudent strategy. Wesker had terrorised Joseph Frost whilst he was captain of S.T.A.R.S. and it had been one of his most enjoyed activities. The temptation of allowing history to repeat itself would probably be too strong if he spent this party in her company.

He replied to Pinkie Pie with the barest hint of a smirk twisting his lips. "I can barely contain myself, Miss Pinkie."

"That's the spirit, Ally!"

Sarcasm was clearly lost on this pony, Wesker thought distastefully.

Though judging by the slight narrowing of Rainbow Dash's eyes, it had not gone entirely unrecognized. Perhaps avoiding her would be more difficult than he had anticipated.

She chose that moment to chip in. "Yeah, it's nice that Pinkie worked so hard to set up this party just for you, isn't it, Al?" The carefully disguised annoyance at Wesker's perceived rudeness did not pass by unnoticed by him.

Wesker's temper was bubbling. To associate sarcasm with ungratefulness was just stupidity, plain and simple… and he had no time for cretins. Somehow, he kept his tone even. "Indeed, I am most grateful to you, Miss Pinkie. It is impressive how rapidly you managed to organize this get-together."

Pinkie laughed. "No problem, Ally. I'm a party whiz; it was no problem at all." She paused briefly. "But this isn't a get-together, Ally, this is a PARTY!" Rainbow Dash laughed as Wesker's mouth twitched. Then, suddenly Pinkie's attention snapped to the doorway. "Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, you're all here!"

Wesker's eyes turned to face the direction of the newly arrived guests. Indeed, there they all were, along with most of the town's populace, it appeared. Wesker hoped he wouldn't have to give a speech to the assembled guests – he suspected Miss Dash would scrutinize every syllable that issued forth, and he was in a bad enough mood as it was.

It was Applejack who spoke first. "Darn tootin', Pinkie, couldn't miss one of your parties!" She gestured towards Wesker. "'specially when it's for our new pal here." Her fellow arrivals made noises of agreement, and then her smile turned mischievous. "Besides, I wanted to see Al's famous dancin'. Twilight said that he sure had a high opinion of it."

Wesker trained his gaze on the purple unicorn as she grinned sheepishly. "Did she now?"

Applejack nodded. "Sure did, partner, seems to me that you should be dancin' all night long with that kind of skill."

Panic briefly set inside the former S.T.A.R.S. captain before he grabbed hold of his get-out clause. "I'm afraid I can't overexert myself. I have to be fully alert for the conclusion of my culinary victory." He tapped a hoof against the side of the satchel he was carrying, "The meal will not be perfect if I am exhausted." Applejack rolled her eyes, whilst Twilight looked... disappointed? Perhaps his boasting had made her believe that he was some sort of dancing visionary and that he was going to unleash Equestria's greatest performance on the Sugarcube Corner dance floor. Rarity and Fluttershy looked relatively unaffected by the 'revelation'. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, however, both were wearing expressions that caused Wesker no small amount of unease. The former looked as though the bottom had fallen out of her world. Her bottom lip trembled as she looked beseechingly at Wesker, eyes wide as saucers.

Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, had evidently sensed the blond pony's severe discomfort and saw an opportunity to undermine him without appearing cruel or unfriendly. "Come on, Al." Her tone was light-hearted, but it didn't disarm his wariness. "You wouldn't want Pinkie to think that you're not enjoying her party, right? That meal you're cooking won't try and escape from you if you're a little tired."

Wesker went to refuse, but Pinkie made a strange whimpering noise and it died in his throat. "I... may be able to find the time to dance briefly."

Joyous grins spread across the faces of the sextet whose company he was in, including Rainbow – though he could have sworn that hers was slightly mocking. He decided that was probably his integrally rooted paranoia speaking.

Pinkie Pie, lustre restored, grabbed Wesker's foreleg and dragged him towards 'Pin the Tail on the Pony'. "Don't worry about dancing yet, Ally. You just need to have FUN!"

It was going to be a long party...

Albert Wesker and the Party, Part III

Author's note: Watched the newest episode recently. SO AWESOME. Hope everyone had a great Hearth's Warming Eve. Bit of a short chapter I'm afraid but I'm writing another one as you read, might even put them both up at the same time. It just seemed like a good place to finish the chapter.

Wesker had no real previous reference point when it came to actively participating in children's parties; he had neither been invited to one when he was young, nor had he ever wished to attend to any. As far as he could ascertain, this party was supposedly above the standard fare due to the involvement of the hyperactive Pinkie Pie. Truly, he found it difficult to tell the difference between a 'good party' and a 'bad party': a bad party in his eyes would probably involve some sort of T-Virus outbreak.

That would be a really bad party Al.

He wasn't sure what he would classify as good; he did, however, remember a S.T.A.R.S get-together that he had been forced to attend, when Frost had too much to drink, vomited profusely and then knocked himself unconscious on the toilet rim. His lips curved slightly at the memory – he'd never forget it.

However, presumably, that wasn't the kind of entertainment that these ponies wished for when they attended these no doubt incessant parties. Apparently they wanted to 'pin the tail on the pony', as he was being dragged to do.

Bet you wish they could make a party game out of Frost throwing up everywhere then nearly killing himself?

That was the dream. Unfortunately, it seemed Wesker would have to wait an incredibly long time before it was fulfilled; personally, he was holding out for a whole holiday based upon it. Pinkie turned towards the former human with a beaming smile plastered across her face. "You know how to play Pin the Tail on the Pony, Ally?"

Wesker wondered briefly whether this was a trick question before deciding to answer acerbically "I assume the goal is to pin the tail on the pony?"

Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. "Sure is, Ally! You sound like a natural!"

Wesker blinked in confusion. Was that sarcasm in return or was it a genuine response? He got the feeling he had met his match here. With this unsettling thought present in his mind, he allowed the blindfold to be slipped over his eyes whilst his sunglasses were removed magically by Twilight, who appeared amused by the whole scenario.

He decided to speak once he met the inky blackness of the inner blindfold."Something funny, Miss Sparkle?"

"Nothing much, Albert…" Amusement was certainly prevalent in her tone. "I'm just thinking that you're going to be a natural at this."

Wesker raised a suspicious eyebrow, but Twilight didn't seem inclined to say anything else. "If your intention was to make me wary, Miss Sparkle, then you have succeeded."

He heard a light chuckle in response, but no more. Being unable to see increased his wariness to greater levels, elevated even further when he was spun around rapidly by a giggling Pinkie Pie. "Okay, Ally, pin the tail on the pony!"

Wesker staggered unsteadily forwards, not approving of the impairment of his senses during the course of this ridiculous game. Why on earth was it even necessary? He couldn't see as it was! He placed the tail roughly where he believed the rear end of the poster-pony to be.

BANG!

An enormous noise filled Wesker's ears. The blindfold slipped off and his instinct overrode any logical thought process as he whipped around, dropping into a combat stance with his teeth bared. He was greeted by the sight of a room filled with wide-eyed ponies, Rainbow Dash hovering slightly above them and holding the tattered remains of a recently popped balloon.

Ah, you may have come on a little too strong there Al...

In the uncomfortable silence that followed, Wesker's eyes stayed fixed on the previously inflated pink rubber. A prank gone wrong, it appeared.

He slowly and deliberately relaxed his body language before fixing the multicolored pegasus with a glare that he was desperately attempting to rein in. "Are you aware, Miss Dash..." he began flatly, fury simmering just below the surface at both her immaturity and the shame of his own foolishness, "that amnesiacs typically suffer from an exaggerated startle reaction?"

A look of incomprehension crossed her face. "Huh?"

Wesker closed his eyes briefly in an effort to settle down. If he killed her, fitting in around here would be far more difficult than he would prefer. "It means that I could have suffered a fatal heart attack." Admittedly, that scenario would have been incredibly unlikely even if he had appeared in Equestria with amnesia, but no matter. He just wanted this irritant to regret her childish actions.

"Oh..." Rainbow looked blank for a moment. "Sorry, it was just a prank."

Wesker rolled his neck, blinking in satisfaction as the joints popped. Slowly, he turned to look at the numerous confused ponies whilst retrieving his glasses. "Well, I'm certain it was one of your best."

The atmosphere took another turn for the worse as Rainbow scowled. Luckily for both, Pinkie Pie jumped in. "Dashie, Ally, stop being party poopers." She turned to Wesker. "She said she was sorry." And before he could respond, she whipped back round to face Rainbow Dash. "Ally just has a different sense of humor to you, Dashie, no need to get all upset."

Wesker locked eyes (over the rims of his shades) with Rainbow Dash, face carefully blank, before turning back to Pinkie Pie. "You are entirely correct, Miss Pinkie. My apologies. I was merely startled."

Rainbow Dash mumbled apologies to both Pinkie and him, causing the hyperactive party pony to beam joyfully before turning back to the murmuring ponies. "Come on, everypony, drama's over! Let's get back to PARTYING!"

As the noise swelled back to previous levels, Wesker breathed a sigh of relief and turned around to look at his almost forgotten tail-pinning handiwork.

Heh, not bad... Pretty close, Al.

Twilight trotted over towards him as Rainbow Dash went back towards the punch table with Pinkie, Rarity, Applejack and Fluttershy. The unicorn hadn't appeared as mortified as the other ponies, only arching an eyebrow as she approached.

Huh, I wonder if that's what you always look like Al. Pretty smug...

Indeed, the expression was worryingly familiar, though it was reassuring that not everyone's sensibilities were so easily offended.

"I told you you'd be a natural at this Albert…" She had evidentially found his not-quite confrontation with Rainbow amusing. "… Though I'm not sure where in the rules it says to bare your teeth and glare at Rainbow Dash."

Wesker snorted. "I am not a fan of pranks."

Somehow, he managed to avoid adding 'or Rainbow Dash.'

Twilight gave a small laugh in response. "Apparently not." After the brief moment of mirth, her eyes widened slightly in concern. "You're all right, aren't you?"

Wesker cocked an eyebrow, looking down at himself in an exaggerated fashion. "It would appear so, Miss Sparkle."

She nodded faintly. "It's just that you seemed so... fierce. I thought maybe the loud noise had triggered a bad memory from your life before; not all the memories that amnesiacs regain are pleasant, after all."

"Take this, you ugly bastard!"

Strange... that was the last time he had heard a 'bang' as it were. Sheva Alomar had uttered those words as she and Chris fired his doom in the form of twin rocket launchers. His inglorious end had been compounded by those being the last words he heard. His vanity had objected far more than it ought to have done, considering he had more important issues at hand. Twilight noticed the slack posture of Wesker and laid a reassuring hoof upon his shoulder. "It's okay, this is your life now. Anything that came before isn't important."

The unfamiliar contact rankled slightly, but he supposed that the overall sentiment was appreciated, so he nodded once at the purple unicorn. She lowered her hoof with a faint smile curving her lips. "At least you didn't completely ruin the party."

Surprised, Wesker gave off a bark of amused laughter. "Give it time, Miss Sparkle. It's still early."

Albert Wesker and the Party, Part IV

Author's Note: I know I know, world's longest party. I just had too many ideas for it. Enjoy. Beta'd and proofread by the ever reliable REV6Pilot

Wesker maintained a careful distance away from Rainbow Dash as Twilight left him to talk to her multicoloured pegasus friend. It would be untrue of him to state that conflict was not in his nature, but he certainly did not thrive off petty verbal disputes. This was not a contest he could settle via his traditional preferred means, which normally consisted of a bullet from a silenced gun straight to the skull of the target.

Not an option, Al. Hooves can't hold guns.

That was the most basic flaw in assassinating someone he'd had a minor argument with... perhaps he was exaggerating?

Wonders never cease, Albert.

There was nothing he could do to remove her from his life now, and so he supposed he would have to tolerate her presence. It appeared that Twilight Sparkle and Applejack were fast friends with the rambunctious Pegasus, and so avoiding her was almost surely impossible. Of course, he was never going to be her friend – that was an honour reserved for those that he at least didn't want to kill, and the chromatic mare certainly did not fit that bill – but he could at least try to be civil, by his standards at least. If she snapped first, then she would appear to be the villain of the piece, and perhaps the others would shun her. It was a vague plan, but a plan nonetheless, one which required minimal effort on his part. He allowed a smirk to cross his lips as he swept his gaze across the room at the exact moment that Rainbow Dash looked over in his direction. Their eyes locked, and he kept his smug smile in place whilst raising his punch glass in her direction, her eyes narrowed very slightly but she returned the gesture with a slight nod.

Al... What did we agree about deliberately antagonizing people?

Wesker's smile remained firmly in place. He was just grinning, that was hardly worthy of admonishment.

It wouldn't be Al... If you weren't…

He frowned once Rainbow Dash had looked away. Weren't what?

...Smug as hell.

Heh, that couldn't be helped. His personality had been long determined, and he was hardly about to change his very nature to placate some flamboyant, stubborn, argumentative mule.

Wesker was jolted out of his thoughts by an almost imperceptibly quiet voice. "I hope that Rainbow Dash didn't upset you, Albert." Fluttershy stared nervously as the blond earth pony turned to face her. "She didn't do it to be mean."

The former human pushed his sunglasses back up to the bridge of his nose as he spoke. "I am aware, Miss Fluttershy, but your concern is appreciated. I was merely taken aback and reacted unfairly." Fluttershy nodded in a meek fashion and looked uneasily at her hooves, seemingly planning to say something else. "Something to add, Miss Fluttershy?"

The quiet nature of Wesker's voice didn't prevent her flinch. "Erm... Well, I... It's just, you seemed so angry. I thought maybe Rainbow had really made you upset, and I didn't want you and my other friend to be mad at each other."

He rolled his eyes behind his mirrored shades. "Well, there's no reason to be concerned. I am fine, as you can see. It was an instinctive reaction, Miss Fluttershy. I acted in self-defence, and now feel foolish for reacting unpleasantly, and unnecessarily, towards Miss Dash."

Fluttershy nodded once more. "I understand, I just wanted to make sure you were okay." A brief pause ensued before the yellow pegasus continued. "Apart from that, how are you enjoying your first Pinkie Pie party?"

The words 'be polite' echoed through Wesker's head like a personal mantra; he couldn't let the timid pony know that he found it to be both pointless and childish. "I am enjoying myself, Miss Fluttershy. The punch in particular is delicious."

The pegasus gave a timid smile. "Have you had any cake yet, Albert?"

The male shook his head and gestured to the baked goods table with his hoof. "I have not. Lead the way, if you will." As they walked, Wesker was aware they were approaching Rarity and Applejack, who were also enjoying the cake. More importantly, however, he was aware that nearly every pair of eyes was following him, a perfect opportunity to endear himself to the locals. And so, the former human seized the opportunity. "This really is an excellent party, isn't it Miss Fluttershy?" Fluttershy nodded in reply as Wesker continued, just loud enough for the majority of Sugarcube Corner to hear. "It is incredibly touching that the whole town came here just to make me feel welcome." He cast a surreptitious glance around the area and saw that ponies were casting warm smiles in his direction. A rare few were even glancing in Rainbow Dash's direction, which he assumed could only work in his favor.

Fluttershy offered another shy smile in Wesker's direction. "It's nothing, Albert, in Ponyville we love to meet new ponies."

His lips twitched as he recalled his meeting with the shy pegasus. "Even yourself, Miss Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy pawed nervously at the floor as a pensive grin spread across her face. "It takes me a while to get used to the idea, but I still like to meet new ponies. I just get a little nervous at first."

Wesker laughed. "I gathered as much, Miss Fluttershy."

Further conversation was interrupted by their arrival at the cake. It certainly looked impressive; goodness knows how Pinkie Pie managed to decorate the entire room and bake a whole, treble-tiered cake within such a short timeframe. However, he got the distinct impression that she didn't exactly adhere to the traditional rules of reality... even less so than the rest of these ponies.

Rarity and Applejack gave warm greetings as the duo approached. The unicorn and Fluttershy began chatting amicably, and Applejack took the chance to turn to Wesker. "Have y'all recovered from your lil' shock?"

He arched an eyebrow at the repressed humour on her face. "I have indeed, Applejack… Should I assume you found it as amusing as Miss Sparkle did?"

The earth mare's face looked strained as she valiantly struggled to maintain a look of apparent concern. "Course not, Al! It was just unexpected and all and I..." Just then, her attempt failed and she began chuckling heartily. Wesker peered at her over the top of his glasses, patiently waiting for her to finish. "I'm sorry, Al, it's just that when Rainbow first popped that there balloon your face was priceless... before ya went all growly."

The male pony's nose wrinkled in distaste. "Please, Miss Applejack, I was not 'growly', nor have I ever been." His reaction, however, only appeared to fuel her heightened hilarity and she began guffawing with abandon. "I was merely surprised," he finished lamely.

After a short while, Applejack managed to calm down. She cocked her head to the side as she surveyed Wesker. "Do y'all call this surprised?" She then proceeded to pull a vastly exaggerated (in Wesker's opinion) face, mimicking the expression the blond pony had pulled before confronting Rainbow Dash.

He raised a solitary eyebrow. "No, I call it fabrication. That wasn't what I looked like."

Applejack nodded reluctantly. "Y'all are right, it was more like this." The demonstration of his facial features was repeated, but this time Applejack crossed her eyes and stuck her tongue out. "Don'tcha think, Al?"

Wesker rolled his eyes. "Uncanny... like looking into a mirror, Miss Applejack."

She laughed once more. "Well, I certainly thought so, Al, can't believe we've ever had parties without y'all here."

Wesker smirked. "Indeed. It appears that I am fated to always be the life and soul of the party."

Applejack smiled mischievously. "Somethin' like that."

Wesker examined the cake at a closer distance. It certainly looked delicious, a consensus that many of the party guests appeared to share, judging by the numerous dainty slices cut from the baked colossus. Just as Wesker leaned to cut himself a small slice, Rarity stepped backwards from Fluttershy as she laughed at something the latter had said. The pure white unicorn nudged the table leg, destabilizing it. The next few seconds played out incredibly slowly to Wesker's hyper alert brain: the table leg folded and Rarity's instinctive attempt to steady it tilted the surface, sending the cake spiralling into the air, watched by dozens of open-mouthed ponies.

The former human, infused with pure adrenaline, launched himself full-length to catch the airborne foodstuff, steadying it in his hooves and inches above the hard floor surface. Concurrently, his eyewear flew across the room with the unexpected acceleration, landing perilously close to the punch bowl where Rainbow Dash stood.

He set it down carefully on the floor and let out a ragged sigh as ponies crowded around him, whooping and offering various congratulations. He looked up to locate his eyewear and noticed it in the grasp of the Pegasus he disliked the most, who watched him with wide eyes and a slack jaw. He walked...

Strutted Al, don't even try and deny that.

He strutted over and gently removed the sunglasses from her slack grip, mouth twitching as he did so. "That was 'cool', was it not, Miss Dash?"

An incoherent noise passed from the mouth of the pegasus as she stared blankly into space.

You did not need that ego boost, Al...

Albert Wesker and the Party, Part V

Author's Note: I have got a ridiculous sleeping pattern and I'm procrastinating horribly to avoid doing my university essays, ergo: More pony/ Weskery goodness. As always, this was made legible by REV6Pilot. (Not the original version but the better one that's going to replace it...you'll see, I just don't like waiting once I've finished a chapter so I post it instantly then change it with the beta'd version.) P.S. Listen to Lightspeed Champion. SO AWESOME. P.P.S. New ponies on the 7th, EVEN MORE AWESOME.

Rarity immediately rushed over to Wesker once the monstrous cake had been moved to another, far more secure, table. "Oh, thank goodness you were here, Albert! I can't even imagine how embarrassed I would have been if I'd ruined Pinkie Pie's cake."

The blond pony offered a small smirk. "Not as embarrassed as I would have been if I hadn't caught it." Rarity tittered lightly as Rainbow tried to conceal her annoyance at his 'slick moves'. He guessed that she resented the fact that she hadn't been the one to rescue the baked colossus. "I'm just glad that the party's still running smoothly, aren't you Miss Dash?"

Rainbow slapped a grin onto her face with such rapidity that the former human almost flinched. "Sure am, Al. Tell you what, that was a pretty sweet dive! Someday you'll be as awesome at those maneuvers as me."

Wesker returned the pegasus' fake smile with a forced one of his own. "I live in hope, Miss Dash."

How 'awesome' would she think it was if he cracked her skull open...?

Al...

Joking. Definitely joking... There were too many witnesses around.

Al!

The main lesson the scientist had learnt from communicating with Rainbow Dash was that she did not enjoy sarcasm when it seemingly poked fun at her, but she had also realized that she couldn't respond outright aggressively, for fear of being rebuked by her friends. Wesker and her had entered a passive-aggressive war, one which Rainbow wisely did not immediately continue, if only because Rarity chose this moment to chip in. "I was going to say, Rainbow, that was a piece of acrobatic skill that even you would have been proud of! You and Albert should get to know each other better."

Wesker's mind was torn between annoyance at being compared in any fashion to the irritating pegasus, and muted delight at the disguised look of distaste that appeared on Rainbow's face. He doubted conversation would flow if he was sent off to talk to her.

Of course not, Albert, maybe the two of you can discuss how badly you want to kill her.

He forced himself to swallow his sizeable pride. There was no way he could refuse this secondary invitation without appearing incredibly rude. "Quite, Miss Rarity." He turned towards Rainbow and gestured towards the new home of the cake, which thankfully had a certain pink pony aside it, studiously watching the legs of everypony who attempted to cut themselves a slice... or stand near it... or so much as look at it. "I didn't actually get a chance to sample the cake before. Shall we?"

Rainbow nodded once and trotted after him. Being cordial to someone he disliked was hardly a foreign situation to Wesker – Umbrella fundraisers had produced several whom the blond was forced to greet like old friends and hear about their tedious, dusty lives, while making it seem like he cared. He had to assume that Rainbow Dash was not as accustomed to cloaking her feelings in such a peaceful, happy-go-lucky town, where everyone was her friend. The upper hand was most assuredly his. To this end, he started the chatter. "I didn't get the chance to say it to you personally: I feel I must apologise for my earlier behavior."

Rainbow scratched awkwardly behind her ear with a hoof as she picked over her words. "That's okay, Al... I mean, I didn't mean to scare you... or make you angry. I just thought it'd be funny."

The words 'But it wasn't' attempted valiantly to claw their way out of Wesker's throat, but he remained resolute. "No harm done, Miss Dash, I'm sure there will be ample opportunity for pranks in the future… Preferably not with me involved, though." He offered her a ghost of a grin as they arrived at the cake table, one which she tentatively returned. Without warning, he suddenly recalled the last time someone had dared play a prank on him...

April 1st1997

"What is this?"

Wesker's voice simmered somewhere between uncontrollable fury and absolute bemusement. What the S.T.A.R.S. captain referred to was a paper snake which had shot out of his top drawer once he'd opened it, along with some coloured confetti, nearly giving him a heart attack. His handgun hung loosely in his hand, having been drawn instinctively once the 'snake' had appeared, and his other hand held the offending item at eye level as he stormed into the main S.T.A.R.S. office. Wesker scanned the faces of all Alpha Team members present, examining their reactions.

Frost stood stock still as he leaned on Jill's desk, staring open-mouthed at the incandescent Captain. Valentine looked entirely blank, which gave credence to his initial theory, one that he would share once he'd investigated further. Chris looked to be attempting desperately not to express amusement –his shoulders were shaking with repressed laughter as he contorted his facial muscles together in an attempt to look serious. Brad Vickers looked terrified, as usual, though Wesker knew it couldn't be him. The pilot's fear of his commander was near irrational, and the idea of Vickers even setting foot in his office without invitation was ludicrous.

Barry Burton, who was sitting at his desk, looked up when his commanding officer stormed in and shook his head once he saw the cause of the commotion, going back to writing his reports as though nothing had happened – Wesker immediately struck him off the list of suspects. He was far too old to be playing pranks anyway.

Chris, on the other hand, was not so."Something amusing about this to you, Redfield?" Wesker wiggled the paper snake lightly as he spoke, approaching the Alpha team sharpshooter's desk. Chris was on the brink of losing it, his Captain could tell. He wasn't sure what would happen first: Redfield's head exploding with repressed humorous emotion, or him shooting the young man in the leg to 'help him focus'. "Do share, Redfield, I'm sure the entire office is dying to hear whatever private joke you have stored in that yawning vacuum you call a brain."

The insult served its intended purpose, and Chris managed to straighten his face enough to speak. "Nothing's funny sir."

Wesker arched an eyebrow. "Really now? You don't find the idea of me almost firing a bullet into a paper snake amusing?" Redfield was shaking violently, his face an impressive shade of red as he tried to avoid laughing. The blond almost felt sorry for his subordinate. "You aren't tickled by the idea of me nearly falling off my chair as a crude toy leapt at me from my desk drawer?"

It was too much for Chris. Sweat trickled down the side of his face and tears began leaking from his eyes as his poker face started to crumble. He just about managed to choke out a "no, sir" before he collapsed in a fit of giggles, the pent-up hilarity releasing itself in a vast wave as he leant on his desk, completely wracked by chuckles. Wesker watched him with an entirely blank face as the rest of the S.T.A.R.S. Alpha team slowly edged their desks away from the unusual pair, bracing themselves for the coming storm.

The Captain slowly removed his glasses and began gently polishing them, waiting, as Chris began to regain control of his senses… and realise just how doomed he was. His facial expression changed from deeply amused to terrified so rapidly that the blond was almost impressed. "Before you ask, Redfield," Wesker began, "I am not going to fire you... yet."

Chris' shoulders slumped with relief. The Umbrella scientist's gaze immediately edged round to Jill Valentine, whose mouth opened slightly in pre-emption as he continued speaking to his target. "I am aware of three things: one, both my office door and my drawer were locked as of last night; two, you are entirely too dense to pick locks; and three, only one member of S.T.A.R.S. is actually capable of picking a lock." He spun round and pointed an accusing finger at Jill. "I have no idea how that dullard convinced you to take part in this, but I'm waiting to hear it."

The female Alpha team member mumbled something incomprehensible. Wesker cupped his ear and leaned in towards her. "Again, Valentine, so that it's decipherable to human beings."

Jill seemed very embarrassed, fidgeting nervously. Finally, she summoned up the courage to reply. "He said it would be funny."

Wesker was so surprised that he actually let out a bark of laughter, before composing himself and hoping that he hadn't ruined his disciplinary action with that outbreak. "That's it, Valentine? That's all it took to risk your job, and, dare I say it, your well-being?" He snorted. "Clearly I've been incorrectly hand-selecting my team members..."

The blond began polishing his eyewear again with a sigh. "I'm aware that I dealt with this in the manner of a schoolteacher, but if you act like children, I will treat you like children. Both of you, 20 laps around the building, and 50 push-ups once you get back in." The pair groaned, but stood reluctantly and headed for the exit. Wesker couldn't resist, and called out as they reached the door. "Redfield? Valentine?" They both turned to face their captain as they leaned against the doorframe. "I'm not saying this wasn't amusing but..." He offered a ghost of a smirk, "…find an easier target next time."

Albert Wesker and the Party, Final Part

Author's Note: Finished all 4 of my essays for Uni, so I have way more spare time for ponies. Huzzah! I imagine that the feeling of relief evoked by the fact that this party is finally ending must be astronomical, last chapter of general nonsense then an actual plot will appear. Pinkie Pie swear! (It's a good plot, even if I do say so myself, a tiny smidge of it will be implanted into this chapter) P.S. Twilight's dancing here is the same as it was in the season 2 episode 'Sweet and elite', a.k.a. adorable nerd dancing. Beta'd by REV6Pilot. (Read his story, 'Cutie Mark Crusaders: Survivors')

Wesker felt that the amount of flashbacks he was receiving was entirely disproportionate for someone who was only feigning amnesia. Regardless, he had managed to remain somewhat focused on his conversation and had even avoided inadvertently offending Rainbow Dash for a second time with his vacancy. The discussion between the two of them had been rather stilted anyhow; it wasn't as though he had missed out on any sort of enlightening interaction.

"So..." Rainbow began nonchalantly. "Do you think you used to be some kinda athlete?"

Wesker assumed that she wanted that to be the case so that the show-up wasn't as humiliating a blow on her ego as being out-sped by a run-of-the-mill earth pony. It was, frankly, quite pathetic, but he was in good enough spirits to humour her. "It seems as plausible as any other theories I have concocted."

The mare's nose wrinkled as she translated Wesker's extensive vocabulary. "Though it sounds like you used to be a scientist, Al. You and Twilight should form some kind of egghead club."

The now-pony let out a snort of amusement to cover up his reignited annoyance. "I'll take that under advisement, Miss Rainbow, though I can't imagine attendance will be very high if we title it 'The Eggheads Club'."

The pegasus gave a sheepish grin as Wesker smirked, but her reply was delayed by their arrival at the Pinkie Pie-guarded cake table."WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" The pink pony's shout caused both to instinctively flinch and hold up their front hooves in a gesture of placation. "ARE YOU HERE TO SABOTAGE MY CAKE?"

Watched by a room of baffled ponies and a militantly alert Pinkie Pie, he slowly stepped forward. "Miss Dash and I are merely here to have a slice, Miss Pie." A thin smile spread across the former human's face. "I believe my heroics have earned that?"

Pinkie watched Wesker through narrowed lids for a few tense seconds before a beaming smile took its place. "Sure thing, Ally. How big a piece do you want?" Wesker let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding and gestured the size with his hooves. With his portion of cake cut, put on a plate and handed over to a quietly grateful blond earth pony, Pinkie then turned to Rainbow. "How 'bout you Dashie?"

Rainbow Dash stroked her chin thoughtfully as she sized up the cake. "Err... Can I have a medium sized slice?" Pinkie Pie cocked her head to the side in confusion for a moment, but went to cut the treat anyway, at least until her friend interrupted her again. "Wait! Bigger than that." Pinkie nodded and adjusted her grip on the knife. "Little bit smaller." The pink pony raised her eyebrows but reacted accordingly as Rainbow mulled over the size of her cake slice, the knife, held by an increasingly confused Pinkie, hovering above the confection.

Finally, Rainbow Dash seemed satisfied. "Perfect!" It was a good thing she didn't try and revise it one more time; Wesker was willing to take a murder charge for the simple pleasure of caving the pegasus' head in with the cake, or anything else that came to hand.

What hand, Al?

With cake in hoof, the two departed. "Remember Ally and Dashie, it's time to dance soon!" Pinkie Pie spoke at their retreating backs. The scientist managed to avoid wincing; he'd hoped that he could sneak under the radar, however unlikely that might have been, but he knew now that his fate was sealed. He waved a hoof over his head to signify that he had heard. Still, he'd rather flail his limbs around for no apparent reason than have to spend more time than was absolutely necessary with the irritating pony beside him.

"So..." Dash began once more, and the former human found it remarkable how even the slightest verbal tic of hers set his teeth on edge. "Kinda crazy how defensive Pinkie was over that cake, right?"

Wesker nodded absent-mindedly as he scanned the room. "I daresay it's a natural reaction, considering how much effort she put into it." Another smirk tugged at the corners of his lips. "I can't be around to save it every time."

Rainbow's forced chuckle once more scratched at the dark recesses of his mind, but he ignored it. Their conversation followed that pattern for around half an hour, Rainbow making a comment that Wesker would react to, then there would be an awkward silence while the mare thought of something else to bother the earth pony with. His salvation, debatably, arrived in the form of the lights in Sugarcube Corner dimming and a large spinning disco ball lowering itself down from the ceiling.

Bet that conversation doesn't seem so bad now, huh Al?

"Listen up, everypony!" An almost-frighteningly enthusiastic Pinkie Pie had stood up on a (thankfully cakeless) table. "It's time to take this party up a notch! Hope everypony brought their dancing hooves!"

With that, dance music began playing in the background and all present began moving in approximate time with the rhythm. Wesker's eye twitched in vague horror; he was really more of a waltz kind of man... pony. He didn't know why he assumed the dancing would be of a slow tempo – perhaps his impromptu journey to Ponyville had damaged his brain more than he assumed. Nonetheless, this was bad, very bad indeed. His panicked eyes, visible over the lens of his glasses, drifted back to Rainbow Dash, who was looking at him with open amusement. Not knowing why he had expected empathy from that particular direction, he averted his gaze towards Rainbow's friends, Rarity and Fluttershy, who were swaying gracefully in near-perfect rhythm that left Wesker honestly impressed. Pinkie Pie was zipping around at a rate he would have been jealous of even during his fights against Chris and Sheva. Applejack was stomping around heavily in a vague approximation of a dance; the former human needed to remember that if he did fail as miserably as he predicted.

Finally, Twilight was...

Well... that's something... right Al?

A non-sarcastic smile started to slowly spread across Wesker's face as he watched the mare. It could barely be called dancing: her limbs were flailing wildly, her eyes were closed, and her face was scrunched up in... concentration?, enjoyment? He had no idea. And frankly, the bizarre, uncoordinated movement was so intensely amusing that he didn't care. He continued watching Twilight's unintentionally hilarious dance for a while, oblivious to Rainbow Dash's intense scrutiny and the attention of Twilight's friends slowly switching towards him.

Eventually, the purple unicorn opened her eyes and found herself making direct eye contact with Wesker, whose smile turned into a bark of laughter as her cheeks turned a flaming red.

The ex-Umbrella employee sauntered over, his slight nervousness evaporating at the memory of Twilight's inept moves. There was no way he could do worse. Once he was close enough to the intelligent unicorn, he spoke into her ear so she could hear him above the music. "Very interesting dance moves, dear heart. I'll certainly have to raise my game to be considered nearly as fascinating."

Wesker felt another small moment of satisfaction as she blushed once more; her face was probably hotter than the lava which he had fallen into at the conclusion of his previous life.

"Well... I didn't really do much dancing in Canterlot and the diagrams in my book were really difficult to decipher." Wesker's snort after this statement conjured a sheepish grin from the unicorn, and Twilight looked away from the blond pony for a moment. "Well... can you do much better? I saw the fear in your eyes Albert."

Wesker blinked in surprise at the challenge before a confident grin made its way across his face. "Fear that I would outshine you too much perhaps, dear heart?" Well, it was now or never, his ego had drawn him in too deeply to back out at this point. He slowly began swaying his hooves in time with the music, twisting his torso at regular intervals and occasionally tilting his head to compliment his gentle movements. He had never believed in the concept of 'losing yourself in the music', trusting that the key was control, so he was sure to keep his movement calm and collected. He had a similar theory when it came to lovemaking: 'losing yourself' just meant you were more likely to embarrass yourself. Wesker was not one to embarrass himself and he was not one to let his guard down in any situation, even during something as seemingly innocent as dancing.

Sheesh Al, you're a laugh-a-minute aren't you?

The stallion ignored Joy. Judging by the expressions of annoyance on both Applejack and Twilight's face, he was doing quite a good job and directed a smug smile at the pair, but he had to focus on controlling his movements.

He carried on in this vein for around twenty minutes before he decided to speak to Twilight again. By now Rainbow Dash had joined the group and was dancing with all the energy and agility that Wesker had expected – much as it pained him to admit it, she was rather good.

"So, Miss Twilight, is that dancing sufficient? Will you let the matter rest now?" Wesker's words were accompanied by a trademark smirk when the purple unicorn nodded reluctantly.

Albert Wesker.

The former human went stock still, ignoring Twilight's questioning stare. He looked around and noticed no one had said those words – not like they had sounded, whispered into his ear by a sinister female voice. His head pounded heavily, and he instinctively raised a hoof to hold it.

"Are you alright, Albert?"

Wesker let out a vague grunt in an attempt to stop the female from speaking.

Albert Wesker.

Bile suddenly rose at the base of his throat. He nodded briefly at Twilight and sprinted out the back door of Sugarcube Corner, retching violently onto the ground as soon as he came out the door. He leaned against the wall to calm himself whilst glancing at the mid-afternoon scenery around him, his legs wobbling. This was not how he planned to excuse himself from the festivities…

Al... This is not good.

He saw Rainbow Dash striding purposefully towards him, a stern, suspicious expression carved into her face as she approached. He silently agreed with Joy: it seemed things were taking a turn for the worse.

Good luck with your infamous charm, Albert…

Albert Wesker and the Conflict

Author's Note: Finally, the party has finished and stuff can happen now. Wild stuff... crazy stuff... important stuff. Got two weeks off from uni now that my exams are over so I'll probably be updating more often. Enjoy. Beta'd by REV6Pilot, of course.

Wesker gritted his teeth as he watched the cyan pegasus approach. He could still taste vomit in the recesses of his throat, his legs shaking profusely as he used the wall for support. The dark voice was still resonating around his consciousness and he found himself desperately trying to place it – as far as he could tell, it was female, and certainly belonged to no pony or human he had ever met. His mulling over the subject was disrupted by the speech of Rainbow Dash. "What was that about, Al?"

Her voice was laden with suspicion, and the earth pony found his hackles rising at the sarcastic familiarity she let out when uttering his new nickname. He'd reached the end of his tether, and now the rope was starting to break.

He tossed his glasses aside as he pried himself away from the wall, and slowly walked towards the pegasus. "I don't see how it is any of your business, Miss Dash."

Rainbow raised her eyebrows at Wesker's confrontational tone, but with equal vitriol in her voice, replied "It's my business because you're acting really strange, and…" She hesitated briefly. "... I don't trust you."

Wesker leaned in towards the mare, annoyance written all over his features. "And I don't like you, Miss Rainbow, so it appears we are at an impasse." Rainbow Dash flinched at his acidic words, and the blond pony didn't waste the opportunity to twist the knife. "I'm not entirely sure which insecurities you suffer from, but projecting them onto me is not a wise move, dear heart."

She snorted in derision. "Insecurities? That's got nothing to do with it! Something about you isn't right, and I don't know what it is, but I'm gonna find out."

Wesker ran a hoof through his mane in an attempt to calm himself down. Relentless, dull-witted, prying, ignorant cretin! When he trusted himself to reply, his tone was originally even and flat, a frightening level for those who actually knew the former human's traits and personality. "Something's not right, is it not? What exactly do you suspect that is? Is it the fact that I made you look like the fool you are? Was it the fact that I was able to move faster than the so-called 'best athlete in Ponyville'? Or is it because I'm new here and detracting away from the constant attention your unwarranted ego demands?"

By the conclusion of his rant, Wesker's expression had degenerated from one of guarded indifference to an outright snarl. One of his special talents throughout his adult life had been intimidating others, and he was putting it into full practice here. But rather than shy away, as he had expected, Rainbow's expression matched his own. "That's a load of baloney! You wanna know why I don't trust you? Because you're big-headed, and you clearly think you're totally amazing! If you've got no memory, then what have you got to be so arrogant about? You say that your amnesia makes you more jumpy but when I pulled that prank, you didn't look scared, you looked ready to kill somepony." The cyan pony's expression turned grave. "And something tells me that you already have."

Wesker was internally surprised at the seemingly simple pegasus' intuition; her assertion that he had killed before was more accurate than she could ever know. However, he still had an advantage in this interaction. "Fantastic perception, dear heart," he drawled sarcastically. "I can't wait to hear the swathes of evidence you must have to back up this theory." He arched an eyebrow, ignoring the pounding in his eardrums and the creeping sense of unease he was feeling. "You do have evidence, don't you? It is incredibly uncouth to accuse a stranger of murder based on nothing more than pin-headed instinct." He saw a kernel of self-doubt bloom in Rainbow's eyes and instantly seized it. "That's what you're doing isn't it?" Rainbow looked mutinous, but unable to refute his allegations, so he summed up as much false righteous self-indignation as he could before continuing. "You have a great deal of nerve, Miss Rainbow. I appear in your town lost, alone and friendless, unable to recall my life and with no way of ever seeing those who I may have left behind, and you have the pig-headed stubbornness to accuse me of a most heinous crime based on nothing but pure dislike." The ex-Umbrella agent put a hoof to his thumping head to further the picture of frustration. "I don't know why, but I expected better from you, dear heart. Clearly, I shouldn't assume the best of ponies in this town."

Wesker had always been a skilled orator and manipulator, and he was going all-out in this verbal battle. He could tell that Rainbow's dogged diligence was fuelled by a misguided sense of loyalty to her friends, and probably to Ponyville itself. By making it clear that he thought well of, and posed no threat to, both her companions and the other citizens of the small town, he was undermining her line of attack.

Sheesh Al, you really can't just have a normal conversation can you?

As expected, Rainbow's intense gaze faltered slightly and her features softened before she let out a sigh. "Okay, I'm sorry, maybe that was a little harsh. But something's not right about you, Al, and not just because you're different or because you're super smart. There's just something... off about you." She paused slightly and gave a small, sad smile. "I want to be wrong, but I don't think I am." The lack of anger in her reply allowed Wesker to drop the level of intensity in his speech and scoop up his sunglasses.

"You want to know what's different about me, dear heart?" He made sure his voice resonated with fake melancholy when he carried on. "I am lost in a world I don't recognize. Where was I born? Do I have a family? Tell me, if you lost your memories of being a filly, what kind of pony would you be? Don't you believe you would seem 'off'?"

The blond pony savored her thoroughly guilty expression as she looked down at her hooves. "I'm so sorry, Al, I never thought of it like that. I... I just wanted to make sure my friends were safe, and I can't trust anyone or anything that might hurt them. I see that I was wrong." She looked up at Wesker and gave a half smile. "I still don't like you, though... you make me feel dumb."

A surprised Wesker let out a snort of laughter. "The feeling is mutual, Miss Rainbow, you make me feel far too intelligent for my own good." The blond pony's smirk grew as the cyan pegasus grimaced. "I mean that in the most affable manner possible, of course." Rainbow gave another small smile. Both knew that friendship was most likely never going to be an option, but neither had any real reason to object to neutrality, and so they left it at that.

Suddenly, the pegasus started as a previous thought resurfaced in her mind. "So why did you run outside, Al?"

Wesker rolled his neck, grunting with satisfaction as the joints cracked. "I felt nauseous and had to exit to vomit." He didn't have to tell her any of the 'juicier' details, and he certainly wouldn't if he could help it.

Rainbow's nose wrinkled in distaste. "Why didn't you use the bathroom?"

Her concern for your health is touching, Albert.

He rolled his eyes behind the mirrored lenses of his glasses. "I wasn't exactly thinking lucidly. I was preoccupied with not leaving a mess on the dance floor."

Rainbow nodded sheepishly. "That makes sense. Wonder what caused it, though, the cake seemed fine."

"It wasn't the cake, that's for sure. If it was then I would not be the only victim."

Rainbow looked thoughtful and turned to walk back inside. "You okay, Al?" When Wesker confirmed that he was, she gave him a grin and moved to leave.

So much death, Albert Wesker. So much deceit, what a mind you have.

The former human let out an involuntary groan as the shadowy voice ripped through his mind once more, the pain growing to such an intense level that he didn't notice Rainbow Dash shouting for help as he vomited once more into the bush outside Sugarcube Corner, right before sinking into a merciful darkness.

Albert Wesker and the Dream, Part I

Author's Note: Plot. Plot everywhere. It will be interspersed alongside episode-based pony adventures. Let me know what you think, I bow to your accumulated wisdom. Beta'd by the fantabulous REV6Pilot.

Wesker had expected his surroundings to be dark when his vision returned, but instead, they were a brilliant, all-consuming white. Once his wits had returned, he realized where he was: the icy tundra in the Caucasus Mountains, the location of Sergei's Umbrella facility, a place that had so generously provided him the pharmaceutical company's entire data archives. He remembered the events of that day with a faint smile, the cold around him utterly forgotten. So certain... He had been so sure of success that day, knowing that the future was his to decide. 'And now look at me.' He raised a finger to his temple and sighed.

He froze. Finger? He disbelievingly flexed the aforementioned digits in front of his sunglasses experimentally. He was human again! The blond was dressed in his favorite black suit, immaculate leather gloves covering his rediscovered hands. The unusual situation momentarily distracted him from the recent past, but it soon came crashing down with a great deal of force.

"This is a dream, then?" the scientist groaned, looking at the desolate landscape. "What a shame." He paused once more as something that had been tugging at the back of his mind made itself known. "The weather wasn't this calm the last time I visited."

As though summoned by his speech, a great wind began blowing through the near-arctic wasteland, causing the former Umbrella employee to raise an eyebrow. "And I believe I had a glass of wine." In an instant, a wine glass materialized into existence, fitting snugly into his gloved palm, any faint hopes that Wesker had of this scenario being reality evaporating with just as much speed. Still, if this was a dream, then at least he could enjoy it in luxury before returning to what he now laughingly referred to as 'reality'. He took a measured sip of the alcoholic beverage. 'Romanée Conti, 1990 vintage.' He seemed to recall that a single bottle had once sold for over $10,000 at a wine auction. It was proved: when Albert Wesker dreamt, he certainly did not dream cheap.

Albert Wesker.

The man spun round on the spot, quickly but smoothly to avoid spilling any wine. That voice! It was the shadowy voice he had heard before losing consciousness, he was certain of it. "If you wish to talk, then talk. But stop repeating my name incessantly; it is tiresome."

He felt a dark presence swoop over his shoulder and saw it appear in his field of vision. A cloud of black smoke awaited him, hewn roughly into a female shape and regarding him curiously. The insidious, but worryingly alluring, speech issued forth from the blackness. "My apologies, Albert Wesker, I was merely perusing your memories."She extended her gaze around the snowy landscape with thinly veiled fascination. "Would you care to join me?"

She stated the fact and extended the invitation as though she were speaking of having afternoon tea. Wesker raised an eyebrow. "Do I have a choice, dear heart? If I do, will you tell me who and what you are?"

A shadowy laugh rang through the blond human's ears. "So many questions..."There was a brief pause."I will tell you what I want you to know while we travel."

"But not what I want to know."

Wesker could hear the smirk in the shadow creature's voice as she replied "Apparently not."

The black-suited blond sighed. "Lead on, then."

The smoke lady laid a dark hand upon his shoulder, making him turn, and pointed towards a black speck on the horizon. "We are headed towards that, Albert Wesker. You may recognise it once we arrive." Upon seeing Wesker's obvious discomfort to the physical contact, she chuckled and released him. "Catch me if you can."

With that, she began racing towards the dot at a surprisingly high speed. Wesker cracked his knuckles. He could feel his superhuman swiftness restored, and wasted no time in giving chase. Eventually, she slowed down to drift alongside him, seemingly putting no effort in doing so as the scenery shot past. "So impressive... yet you never regret what you sacrificed to obtain it?"

He snorted, deciding to play whatever game this bizarre creature had concocted. "Regret what? Losing the shackles of weakness and idiocy? Taking my first step towards perfection? I think not, dear heart. Nonetheless, what do you want from me? Are you some twisted personification of my conscience? Perhaps you are the angel on my shoulder, gone awry? Speak."

Another amused burst of laughter issued forth from the dark approximation of a human. "How quaint. Know that you could never truly understand me… but I will answer one of your questions."She floated into Wesker's eye line and cocked her head to the side, examining his face whilst he studiously ignored her, pressing on towards the ever-nearer dot."I sensed a great deal of anger and hatred radiating from the world of the ponies, the likes of which I had not felt similar to for over a thousand years. It is such a dull place, filled with misguided foals that wallow in their so-called 'perfect existence'. With you, I felt that someone had finally arrived with the potential to upset their 'harmony'. So to that end, Albert Wesker... What I want from you is to know more about you, to understand how you think, what you know and most importantly, what you desire."

Wesker turned his head slowly to regard the silhouette before him, ignoring the shape slowly taking form on the horizon. "At least you are honest about your intentions. Though why I have to be a pawn in your insidious game is beyond me."

At this, the gloomy figure appeared to be somewhat abashed. "I had access to your memories, not to your thought processes or your motivation. That is all. I wished to hear it from you so I could truly know what you are..." She hesitated for a moment. "I attempted to access your memories while you were awake, but whenever your own mind tried to do the same, not only was I unable to watch the memory I wished to see, you experienced what you may call a 'flashback'. I decided that method was too disruptive. Likewise, when I tried to contact you directly, it caused you the pain and nausea you felt, and left you unable to respond. Being so, I decided to draw you to unconsciousness, so we could converse safely, and access your memories more conveniently."

The man smirked. "How generous of you." She giggled lightly. "I assume that, if I refuse to go along with your scheme, then my waking hours will be spent vomiting and blacking out?"

The shadow creature returned the smirk. "You assume correctly."

Wesker swept a gloved hand through his hair in faint annoyance. "Then I suppose we shall examine my memories together. I hope we will not be studying all of them in one night."

She waved a dismissive hand."I do not wish to overexert you. I will visit you each night, and access a memory I believe to be an important component of your character. You will analyze it and explain it to me. Once I have built up a reasonable idea of your personality, then I will make you an offer. Does that sound fair?"

Wesker popped the joints in his neck as he sprinted. "Not in the slightest, but it would be highly hypocritical of me to complain about fairness."

Another tinkling laugh greeted his statement as he was finally able to make out what exactly the dot on the horizon was.

It was him.

Albert Wesker and the Dream, Part II

Author's Note: Spoilers for Umbrella Chronicles. Repeat, if you've not played Umbrella Chronicles and you want to. Don't read this chapter and the next! Yeah, I hope people aren't too annoyed with me for using the Dark Legacy section of UC to be analysed by Wesker (Gotta love nerdy scientist monologues), I've tried to avoid making it a simple rehash of events. Apologies to all those who value the pony side over the RE side. Wesker will be awake soon...ish. Enjoy. Love all you guys, especially those who review. *Hint Hint* Beta'd by REV6Pilot

Albert Wesker watched his clone impassively as the latter did exactly the same to the distant Caucasus facility. As he drained the remainder of his glass, he flicked his eyes sideways in the direction of the shadow creature; she was staring at the two of them, clearly waiting to witness the significance of this particular memory. He decided to quiz her whilst he had the chance. "What exactly should I call you, Miss? You weren't exactly forthright with your name."

She smiled, keeping her focus on Wesker's memory. "Names are transient and forgettable, but I suppose you must call me something as a matter of comfort. Call me Dark."

The man sighed. "A tad predictable, don't you think, dear heart?"

A giggle issued forth from her smoky lips."Yet easy to remember."

He smirked in response before the duplicate ended his contemplation and uttered a single sentence – "Chris, it appears our fates are forever intertwined." – before whipping off his trench coat, revealing a black suit identical to the one Wesker himself was currently wearing. The garment spun off behind his doppelganger as he sprinted towards the facility.

Wesker and Dark gave chase. It was clear that this was merely a manifested representation of his memory; he couldn't interact with himself, which was a shame. He'd probably have mentioned the need to keep a grip on sanity and, more importantly, to kill Chris the next time the two met. As he watched the trench coat sail away, a thought struck him. "I'm not certain why I discarded that coat... I suppose I must have an irrepressible flair for the dramatic."

Dark, who was still puzzling over the reference to 'Chris', looked faintly surprised."Yet you seem so severe. Why would you indulge idle fancies such as that?"

Wesker frowned contemplatively. "What is life without a little frivolity every so often? Assuming, of course, that it doesn't impede progress." Dark, having no reply to that, merely nodded as he watched his clone run alongside him.

After a brief moment, she chose to speak, "What was your thought process at this time?"

Wesker realized he would have to explain nearly every facet of this memory to the gliding shadow being. It was almost inconvenient enough to make him choose constant migraines and nausea. "I was merely thinking of the plan I had put into action: to use my old comrades as an unwitting distraction whilst I emerged with the spoils of Sergei's facility."

Dark cocked her head to the side. "No emotions or doubts?"

He snorted in dismissal. "Emotions were not beneficial to my plans," he said, eyes locked over the rims of his shades with the shadow being, "and I never have doubts." She gave a lazy smirk in response. Eventually, they arrived at the facility, and Wesker noted Dark's wonderment at the enormity of the metal construct. "This is just the entrance, Miss Dark. Am I to assume that you belong to the land of the ponies, and not my own?"

Dark nodded, but put her hands to her hip impetuously. "I was merely taken aback. I did not think it would be this large." She curtailed any response by drifting up alongside Wesker's dream equivalent as he walked briskly towards an iron grate. Her look of mild interest turned to one of bemusement as he gripped one of the bars firmly, and finally to one of awe as the grate was ripped from its place and tossed effortlessly aside. She turned to Wesker, eyes wide. "That was fantastic, the power you must possess."

Wesker managed to avoid preening, merely cocking an eyebrow as they continued following. "Yet I'm often told my modesty is my most appealing attribute." He glanced at the empty wine glass and smirked as it refilled. "You don't appear to be too surprised by my true form, considering you've never seen a human before."

Dark shrugged, still visibly reeling from the casual demonstration of strength. "I liked this 'human form', as you call it."She gestured to her own smoky visage."I am old, Albert Wesker, much older than you may think, and I have learned to put surprise on hold when I see opportunity."

Wesker raised his glass in her direction. "A very wise philosophy, and one that, sadly, I rarely get to bear witness to."

She smiled at the compliment."Are all your kind this powerful?"

Wesker shook his head, smirk still firmly in place as he sipped gently at his beverage. "I'm special, dear heart."

Dark shook her head in disbelief, faint smile on her lips. "So I can see, Albert Wesker. It appears your existence will be a real benefit to Equestria."

He snorted. "Give it time, dear heart. I was told that I would be a benefit to my planet when I was 13, and things change. Not to mention that I'm stuck in a pathetic body in your world."

He wondered what her reaction would be to the various BOWs he encountered in this facility – probably small minded disgust, and outright hostility when she discovered his role in creating them. Such a shame, really, they were getting along fabulously. She nodded sympathetically, a gasp interrupting her as three Lickers made their way towards the dream Wesker, barely noticing his 'out of my way, now.'

He handily dispatched all three with consistent headshots before he noticed three zombies lurching towards him from the left, at the same time Dark did. Wesker waited patiently for her reaction, he occupying himself by watching his clone in combat action. He always knew his skill was unmatched, but it really was a pleasure to see it from the third person. Chris and Sheva should have been more grateful. The dream self fired two pinpoint rounds, both nestling in the skulls of his intended victims, before launching a rib crushing punch at the third, causing it to fly across the room and connect with the wall with a sickening crunch, and lay still. Waves of monsters approached, causing the dream Wesker to realize that there had been a security failure in the facility. Chimeras, bats, Hunters, spiders, all were dispatched cautiously by the peerless marksman who surveyed the carnage with barely a reaction. He stepped up to the steel door of the nearby train. "I can use this."

Wesker followed and grabbed the smoky arm of Dark, who was floating, jaw wide open and eyes scanning the monstrous corpses that his past self had left in his wake, dragging her aboard the train. "We have a train to catch, dear heart, do keep up."

Once inside, she turned to him with an expression of utter awe on her face, "What were those things? How did they come to be?"

Wesker cracked his neck without looking in her direction. "I was once a scientist at a pharmaceutical corporation known as Umbrella Incorporate. I worked as a researcher there, in charge of the creation of bio-weaponry. The creatures you see are the results of combining a virus known as the T-Virus with various forms of DNA; I won't bore you with the details, but those 'zombies' that you saw were humans that came into involuntary contact with the virus. The same applies to the spiders." He turned to Dark and pushed his glasses to the bridge of his nose, a tic he had developed when speaking of his research as an Umbrella employee. There were many ambitious, power-hungry scientists at the pharmaceutical company; he could never afford to give away more than he absolutely needed to, and it stuck even afterwards. "That, the chimera, the maggot-infested creature, is the result of human and fly DNA being combined with the virus. You may have noticed the reptilian creatures with sharp claws; those are referred to as hunters, and were created via the combination of reptilian and human DNA infused with the T-virus. Finally, the being with an exposed brain and the long tongue is known colloquially as a licker, for obvious reasons, and is the final evolutionary line of the common zombie." He took a long sip of wine to moisten his dry mouth. "Any questions, Miss Dark?"

Before composing herself, Dark blanched at the influx of information she had been exposed to. "You were responsible for the creation of all these... things?"

Wesker remained externally impassive, but braced himself for the backlash. "Not precisely. I led a team that discovered many of the properties of the T-virus."

Dark nodded, a smile spread across her face."That's incredible; these creatures are incredible."

It was the human's turn to be shocked; he frowned, a solitary eyebrow arched skyward. "What? Are you saying you're not repulsed by these creations?"

Dark shook her head forcefully. "Not in the slightest; they are marvels of science and creation. Only the ignorant would dismiss such works of endeavor."She glanced back at the retreating platform, adding wistfully and almost imperceptibly to herself, "She never had anything like this..."

Wesker's amazement grew exponentially, causing him to practically ignore the excerpt at the end, but he remained austere on the exterior. His brain chose this moment to remind him of something Dark had said earlier: 'With you, I felt that someone had finally arrived with the potential to upset their 'harmony'. Perhaps she was merely trying to gain his favor so that he would be more willing to do her bidding... or maybe he had found someone in this world of humdrum peace-loving ponies with the same degree of groundbreaking vision as himself. Stranger things had happened.

"I was expecting you," his dream self sneered as the train roof fell inwards due to the Chimeras invading. Wesker wished he could say the same about his current scenario.

Albert Wesker and the Dream, Part III

Author's Note: Sorry about the massive delay people, uni work arrived and gave me a severe beating. My wounds have only just healed. Last chapter of the dream, then we're back to Ponyville. Beta'd by REV6Pilot.

While Dark busied herself with examining the memory unfold as dream Wesker effortlessly dispatched the waves of mindless monsters breaking through the train's steel roof, the real one found himself watching her closely. She was certainly an unknown quantity, and however affable they were, the blonde loathed unknown quantities. He had spent his entire life concocting plans that realized the mindsets and goals of others and reacted accordingly. Mere titbits of veiled information were not satisfactory for Wesker when he was going about creating a new stratagem to suit his current circumstances. The solution to this problem, he decided, was to ascertain more about this mysterious character.

"Miss Dark," he began, watching amusedly as the shadow reluctantly tore her gaze away from the memory of his impeccable combat techniques to face him, "I wish to learn more about you. I find my current knowledge regarding you to be very unsatisfactory, and considering that I am consenting to this," Wesker waved his arm to indicate their position inside his memories, "I feel it is only fair that you allow me an explanation."

Dark laughed."Do you not find it ironic that a man such as yourself is calling upon the idea of 'fairness' in order to convince me to divulge details?"

Wesker didn't hesitate. "No."

She sighed."Bear in mind that what I choose to share is at my own discretion. if I do not wish to answer, then I will say so."

Wesker folded his arms across his chest. "That sounds fair enough, though I will press if I feel some of the answers you give are not satisfying."

Dark's smoky mouth turned up at the corners."It is not normal for two participants in a conversation to lay down the rules of their chat beforehand, is it?"

This time, Wesker returned her smirk. "No."

At that moment his parallel self crushed the skull of an attacking hunter with the heel of his left foot, muttering, 'hmph. Small fry.' The real scientist, dash agent, recollected that the train would soon reach its final destination and jerked his head towards the side door, signalling Dark that the ride would be over soon. His instincts and memory, as always, proved correct; his dream self noticed the screeching of the train's brakes. "What's this?" he pontificated aloud.

"The end of the line," Wesker replied to himself, moving his gaze to Dark. "My first question revolves around your age. How old are you?"

She smiled pleasantly."Thousands of years old, Albert Wesker. I was brought into existence by the Discord amongst ponies."

Wesker nodded once. That was surprisingly easy; perhaps this wouldn't become the interrogation he had anticipated. Stepping off the train at the same time his duplicate did, he offered Dark a hand to assist her as she stepped off the locomotive, but she merely giggled and floated over his head, poking her tongue out as she did so and drawing a raised eyebrow and from the black-clad researcher. He surveyed the vast drop in front of him concurrently with his clone as Dark looked on in confusion. "Hmm, a shortcut..." the memory being pondered, which only increased the smoky creature's bemusement.

Both Weskers leapt across the vast chasm the train had narrowly avoided plunging down into. Landing on a concrete alcove, Wesker turned and faced the startled Dark with a widening grin. As he waited for her to drift across and join him, he smugly occupied himself with casual observation of his doppelganger handily dispatching rampant BOWs.

Eventually she reached him, and he resumed his questioning. "What exactly do you hope to achieve by this minute assessment of me?"

"I want to know how you think, why you act like you act, Albert Wesker. I believe I made that apparent earlier."

Wesker snorted. "You did indeed, dear heart. What wasn't apparent was your motivation."

Dark hesitated as she drifted along, whilst he leapt along the sides of the enormous silo, from increment to increment. "I already told you, I wish to disrupt the harmony of the ponies. Adversity defines an individual, and no one has ever discovered their true worth in such circumstances."

She paused. He nodded in an attempt to encourage her onwards."It is the goal I was born to achieve and I have striven to do so for years. My previous attempt involved a partner who I believed shared the same target as myself, but ultimately I was betrayed. I will not make the same mistake again; I need to know that you and I are compatible."

Wesker stroked his chin thoughtfully after he landed on an indentation on the vast silo walls, a few feet above the vast metal door that constituted the floor. "So, you wish to ensure that I will cooperate in your scheme to bring disharmony to Equestria. I have one more question..."

He examined her over the rims of his shades. "What would I gain from it?"

Dark twirled a lock of jet black, smoky hair between her thumb and forefinger."Power, of course. Power over an entire world, and the restoration of your true form. But, I need to know that I am not idly bestowing my trust upon another who lacks the prerequisites to truly bring change to this pathetic world. So, I will examine your memories, your highs and lows, everything that makes you Albert Wesker. If I like what I see, you and I shall rebuild this world in whatever form pleases us."

Wesker's features remained blank as he digested this revelation, before a faint smile appeared upon his lips. He drank the remainder of his almost-forgotten wine glass' content. "Then I hope to meet your expectations." The smile disappeared and his face reverted to being stony. "But know this: I will not be a sidekick or lackey. Any partnership, assuming I will indeed accept your offer when it comes, will be on my terms, and it will be of mutual benefit to us both."

Another laugh bubbled up from the recesses of Dark's throat. "You certainly seem confident that you will meet my expectations; this is good. However, you needn't worry about being on a lower keel than me; it would be an equal partnership." Wesker nodded at Dark's words. "Any more questions?"

He thought briefly and then shook his head lightly. "No more for tonight. I believe you still have to examine the memory we are currently in, and Sergei is about to arrive."

Two bullets pinged off the metallic floor, confirming Wesker's suspicions, and his dream self readied his silenced handgun. A heavily accented Russian voice issued forth from the thickly built, steely-haired man who had entered the room.

"Comrade Wesker. Welcome to my humble abode."

The dream Wesker remained utterly impassive. "I see you are still resolved to go down with the ship, Colonel."

A sharp rebuttal came from the Umbrella figure, which ended with him criticising Wesker for not understanding, amounting to a conversation that Wesker found dull at the time; replaying it hardly increased its appeal. Dark, however, stood transfixed, waiting for the real Wesker to sketch in the details just as his clone replied once more, "Stand aside."

Eventually, Sergei introduced 'two old friends', Tyrants in long, white coats. Wesker felt a small amount of pride when his deadpan response of "charmed" evoked a giggle from Dark; it was far better when someone was around to appreciate his wit.

The battle began in earnest, and as his dream self zipped at astronomical speeds around the concrete complex to avoid the raw power of the two tyrants attacking him, Dark signalled that she wished to hear more about Sergei.

"That was Sergei Vladimir, a fool who still believed that Umbrella was worth saving. His blind loyalty would be admirable if it wasn't both moronic and inconvenient to my plans. Though I suppose his decision to hoard the combined database of Umbrella here was incredibly beneficial, even if his opposition to me acquiring it was not." An arrogant smirk appeared on Wesker's face as he faced Dark. "He isn't important if you're here to analyze my psychology; his role was short lived... as you'll see."

Dark waved a hand to acknowledge the information, turning her attention back to Wesker's confrontation with the duo of extraordinarily intelligent bio-weapons, which culminated in Wesker firing squarely between the eyes of both, tossing a grenade whose explosion staggered them, and finally launching himself at the pair with neck-shattering force.

Wesker's clone stepped neatly over the pair of corpses, not looking back as he strode purposefully towards the elevator; his real-life counterpart did the same, taking only a moment to examine both the bodies and Dark's comically awed expression. "Come on, dear heart, no time to dawdle."

They journeyed on through the facility, tailing his clone. Occasionally Dark would ask for some minor clarification, and Wesker would answer as precisely as he could. Eventually, she asked a question which didn't revolve around some seemingly vital psychological point, just as they were about to reach the moment where he confronted Sergei for the final time."Why do you talk to yourself so often, Albert Wesker?"

Wesker lazily raised an eyebrow. "It's a memory, dear heart. I'm afraid there's nothing I can do to stop it if you find it irritating."

She shook her head dismissively. "I do not find it irritating, I merely wish to know."

He shrugged. "I find it focuses the mind. Not to mention that keeping such witticisms and poetic musings bottled up would be a crime against expression." She gave him a scathing look, and the man allowed the faintest of smirks to cross his lips. "Do you not agree?"

She examined him closely for a few silent seconds, before shaking her head and drifting towards the scene of Wesker and Sergei's final confrontation. "You are an unusual man, Albert Wesker."

The blonde remained silent. They went through the door and witnessed himself face to face with Colonel Sergei Vladimir. The two exchanged a few words, and Dark glanced towards Wesker as they discussed the Red Queen; he mouthed the word 'later' and she nodded, turning her attention back to the scene unfolding before her.

Dark reacted visibly as Sergei mutated into a hideously deformed tentacle-wielding monster, whilst Wesker remained as unreadable as his doppelganger, his only reaction being a single sentence.

"Your lack of creativity disappoints me. I expected more from you."

An intense, frenetic battle then unfolded. Dark was riveted by it, taking in every facet of the extreme action with wide eyes. Wesker was merely bored by it; he had already experienced it once, and Sergei's degenerating sanity and spouting of fanatical gibberish rankled with him. After a great deal of gunfire, explosions and quips, Sergei lay dead at Wesker's feet and the ex-Umbrella employee walked past the corpse of his former superior to reach his ultimate prize. "The summation of Umbrella on one disc... This should come in handy."

Wesker glanced sidelong at Dark. "That was the pinnacle of all I had set out to achieve. The realization of my ambitions, yes… but merely the start of a much bigger goal."

She silently responded with an affirmative as Wesker watched himself begin the total deletion of the Red Queen. "Goodbye, fair lady." He then strode off confidently with the data disk tucked neatly into a side pocket on his jacket, Dark and the real Wesker following in his wake. Eventually, they all found themselves in the open air and both the shadow creature and the superhuman in the black suit observed as Wesker's doppelganger fired a pistol shot to unbolt a large industrial hook, which he then used to propel himself to the top of a large metal scaffold, leaping away from it and into the distance.

Dark turned to Wesker. "This has been most informative; I believe it will be a pleasure to learn about you, Albert Wesker."

Wesker inclined his head slightly. "Indeed, miss Dark, and the complimentary wine was most satisfactory." She giggled in response. "I assume I shall be seeing you the next time I go to sleep?" She nodded, smile still in place. "I look forward to it then, dear heart, but try not to cause any headaches or nausea beforehand…"

She gave a mischievous grin."I promise nothing."

And with that, Albert Wesker re-entered the world of consciousness.

Albert Wesker and the Hospital

Author's note: Ponies. Ponies everywhere. We are indeed back in Equestria, should be interesting. I think I'm doing a pretty good job but let me know if I'm not... or if I am. I live for your feedback people! Beta'd by REV6Pilot, give him all your love.

The light felt like tiny blades cutting into his retinas and the ambient sounds of birdsong and distant ponies milling to and fro sounded astronomically loud to Wesker's sensitive ears; he groaned as his senses were overwhelmed. The sensation was unerringly similar to when he first recovered consciousness after his death, and with that precedent firmly in mind, he decided to ignore the world around him as best as he could, settling for introspection instead.

How uncharacteristic of you, Albert.

He frowned, what was that supposed to mean?

Ignore him, Al, he's just being an ass.

The man turned pony decided to confront his situation. Living inside his head was becoming increasingly irritating, and even his internal voices were beginning to make errors of judgement.

His surroundings were pure white, sterile and dull, which led him to conclude that he was in a hospital of some sort. He loathed hospitals. Probably because they reminded him of imperfection and weakness. After his ascension to the pinnacle of existence, they hadn't been worthy of his attention anymore; a god did not get sick or injured after all. But now, here he was, infirm and useless. It was enough to make him want to trade in his humanity again. Certainly he would take another violent death if it meant he could avoid the indignity of being reminded of his own mortality.

That's not normal, Al.

Wesker smirked. He aimed to please.

Eventually, he managed to sit up in an upright position, ignoring the pounding in his eardrums as well as the disgustingly persistent taste of vomit at the back of his throat. It certainly wasn't the most desirable of states to be in.

Understatement.

Natural light was streaming in through the window and illuminating the room he was in. It was a fairly basic affair, crisp white sheets on a simple steel-framed bed, a pair of glasses and a pot of flowers on a pine side-table. The only unusual aspect was a pissed megalomaniac with no way to occupy his time other than to wait for someone to visit him. Wesker sighed. How had he gone from being on the brink of establishing a new world order to throwing up outside a bakery and going to the hospital?

Bad luck?

He decided to go with that, over-thinking would just anger him, and he could definitely do without an outburst here. Things tended to get broken or die, or a mix of both, when that happened. He diverted his thoughts elsewhere. It was still light outside, so he assumed his little foray into unconsciousness had lasted a couple of hours.

All of a sudden, Wesker heard voices approaching from the corridor. "You say he was in here, nurse Redheart?" That sounded unmistakably like Twilight. Though he was fairly certain that he could have coped without it, the thought of having some company in this horrid building brought forth a small degree of satisfaction. What gave him greater hope was the possibility that the lavender unicorn had brought a book to read, which certainly would pierce his inertia more effectively than any idle chit-chat. Feeling useless irritated Albert Wesker, more so than pretty much any other embarrassment he had suffered so far.

Unfortunately, this brought back unpleasant memories of the corneal abrasion that had resulted in his hypersensitivity to light. Wesker was only fifteen years old at the time, though his intelligence was still incredibly advanced; he had been considered a gifted child.

Not gifted enough to keep your experiments away from your eyeballs, unfortunately.

When Twilight finally entered his hospital room with Nurse Redheart alongside her, Wesker was in a strange mood, something which both occupants of the room noticed straight away, though not in the manner Wesker was accustomed to.

"Oh, you're awake Albert, how are you feeling?" Her tone was light and faintly teasing, causing Wesker to lessen his scowl, if only slightly.

"Just fine, dear heart." He folded his hooves across his chest. "I do enjoy feeling obsolete and sitting pointlessly in a pen for the diseased."

Nurse Redheart clicked her tongue whilst Twilight hid a smile behind a hoof. "Now now, mr. Wesker, no need to get testy. You gave us all quite the scare outside Sugarcube Corner, but you're just here to make sure that everything is just fine. I'm Nurse Redheart."

Wesker raised an eyebrow, grabbing his shades from the rickety bedside table. "I assume saying that I am just fine will not be sufficient?"

Nurse Redheart smiled. "We need to be certain you're well. You were out for quite a long time after all."

The male stroked his chin. "I was? Well, what time is it?

"It's 7 o'clock, mr. Wesker."

He snorted. "A couple of hours, miss Redheart, are certainly nothing worth confining me in a whitewashed prison for."

Twilight jumped in to prevent the nurse from adding to her patient's list of woes. "It's 7 o' clock in the morning, Albert, you've been unconscious for over 12 hours. We were at your bedside up until about 10, but nurse Redheart said you were stable and we should all get some shuteye. I decided I would visit you in the morning and... Here I am."

Wesker grimaced. "It appears I am allergic to parties, dear heart." He cracked the joints in his neck. "I had my suspicions." He examined the purple mare over the top of his shades. "I appreciate your concern, but if losing my memory left me physically unaffected, then unceremoniously depositing cake and punch into a bush was always unlikely to leave a mark."

Twilight giggled. "You're in an unusual mood today."

Wesker spread his front hooves disarmingly, "Honestly Miss Twilight? I dislike hospitals." He cast a sidelong glance at Nurse Redheart, smirking faintly. "No offense, Miss Redheart." The pure white earth pony sighed dramatically and ran a hoof through her bubblegum pink mane, smiled and waved the aforementioned appendage dismissively, allowing him to continue. "You mentioned before that amnesiacs may recover memories from random stimuli?" At her questioning look, he pushed his shades up to the bridge of his nose and sighed irritably.

"Not as eloquently, perhaps, but you made the general point. Not all memories they recover are pleasant." He looked around the blandly featured hospital room and thought of all the days spent testing his near-shattered vision, the excruciating pain he had experienced when disregarding his doctor's advice for the first time and accidentally looking directly into one of the cheap bulbs without his glasses on.

Twilight noticed the increasingly dark scowl spreading across the gold maned earth pony and quickly sought to redirect his thoughts. "So, do you know why you were so ill at Pinkie's party?"

It was hardly a cheerier subject for Wesker to consider, but it served its intended purpose.

Sorry to say it, Al but you definitely can't tell the truth here, unless you want to stay in here forever with a nice straitjacket thrown in for free.

"I'm not entirely certain." He arched an eyebrow in the direction of the nurse, "I assume that's why I'm being kept here, to ensure no relapse or possibility of contagion?"

Nurse Redheart nodded. "I'm sorry to inconvenience you, mr. Wesker, but the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one."

Wesker smirked, how idealistic, "Normally I would agree with you, miss Redheart, but when the one is myself then I tend to think quite differently."

Redheart rolled her eyes. "I'm sure, mr. Wesker." She started strolling towards the door, stopping briefly to address the pair of them. "Twilight, you have about half an hour before I need to run some routine examinations on mr. Wesker." The pink-maned mare then turned to the stallion. "Normally, I wouldn't say this to a first-time patient, but don't try to leave!"

Wesker sighed and pretended to mull it over, giving a mock salute and settling down in the bed to prove his willingness to stay. Redheart smiled and shook her head on her way out.

He was restless. He wasn't usually lazy, and something about hospitals aggravated him, put him even more on edge. Luckily, it was Twilight who had come to visit him and, as the most intelligent of the ponies he had met since his impromptu arrival in Ponyville, she was capable of realizing this. "Albert... you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but what was the memory that resurfaced when you woke up in the hospital?"

The former S.T.A.R.S. captain put a hoof to his forehead in contemplation. How much should he divulge? He supposed that he could give the memory without context, but that would seem as though he were confiding in her, an act which suggested intolerable weakness to himself. However, despite her gentle approach, he assumed that Twilight would not take 'no' for an answer – she probably believed it would be healthier for him to express his feelings.

Don't pretend you have any, Albert.

Ultimately, he crumbled. "Fine. When I was younger, I was a burgeoning chemist and I was taking part in a university level practical experiment... To summarize, it went wrong. I suffered a great deal of damage to my eyes, and afterwards, I became hyper-sensitive to light and started having to wear darkened glasses," he tapped the side of his shades, "much like these."

She looked at him sympathetically, which certainly didn't help his rapidly disintegrating mood. "I'm so sorry to hear that, Albert. I'm guessing the rest of your eyes healed on their own?"

Wesker nodded. That was close enough to the truth; he was hardly about to tell her the actual way in which his sight was fully restored.

A small smile spread across Twilight's face when she perceived she had found a diversionary tactic. "So, you used to be a scientist, then?"

Wesker nodded. "So it would appear."

"Then I'll be sure to bring some scientific books the next time I visit. I've got a couple of the books from your saddlebag for you to read whilst you're here."

At least he could be pathetic, mortal and occupied, rather than just pathetic and mortal. "My thanks, miss Twilight. They will hopefully make the time spent here pass more rapidly."

The purple unicorn's grin grew wider. "It's no problem, with all these excellent books I'm sure the time will fly by!"

Wesker arched a cynical eyebrow.

"What? It doesn't hurt to be optimistic, you know."

Wesker barked out a bitter laugh. "The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised."

Albert Wesker and the Unexpected Visitors

Author's note: Thanks to everyone who's been reading, reviewing and commenting, you rock my world. Beta'd by REV6Pilot

Wesker and Twilight conversed for a few more minutes before Nurse Redheart shooed the unicorn from the room and turned to the former human. "Okay, Mr. Wesker, I'm just going to examine your vitals in order to get an idea of your general health."

The stallion removed his shades, placing them gently on his bedside cabinet while letting out an exaggerated sigh. He fixed his gaze on the pink-maned medical pony. "Is this really necessary? Don't you think my condition would already have worsened had I been suffering from anything serious?"

The nurse matched Wesker's stare. "In my line of work, it's wise to assume nothing. You may feel fine, but that's no guarantee of well-being. Twilight told me you were highly intelligent, so you surely know that I'm not going to release you until I know that there is no risk of you endangering yourself, or others, with any possible diseases."

Wesker slumped in the bed; "I knew, I just thought it was worth an attempt."

Redheart rolled her eyes, retrieving a stethoscope from the pocket of her uniform. "Well, nice try, Mr. Wesker, but you will be subjected to a full examination before I let you walk out of here."

Wesker bared his teeth faintly. "Subjected seems an appropriate choice of words."

"Hush and let me work."

The former scientist begrudgingly complied, wincing slightly at the feel of cold metal on his bare chest area. He watched blankly as Nurse Redheart counted the heartbeats. "Heart rate normal."

She moved around the bed slightly and placed the amplification device at the top of Wesker's back, parallel to his lungs. "Breathe in, please." Wesker complied once more, eager to escape the dreary prison he was trapped in. "Breathing normal… You have a very healthy set of lungs, Mr. Wesker."

He ran a hoof through his blond mane in mock relief. "Well, Miss Redheart, that certainly counteracts the theory that I am allergic to oxygen. Thank goodness, too."

Redheart narrowed her eyes. "We have no idea whether you're allergic to being bludgeoned by a stethoscope. Do you want to find out?"

The blond earth pony raised his hooves placatingly, smirk firmly in place. "While I appreciate your concern, I believe I shall have to live the rest of my life without knowing."

The pink maned pony smirked in return, "Not if you keep antagonizing medical personnel." Wesker arched an eyebrow but remained silent, raising another wry smile from Redheart. "Can you please cough, Mr. Wesker?" He obeyed, not trying to hide his impatience, as Redheart frowned in concentration. "It appears all your vitals check out."

"Fantastic," Wesker said as he retrieved his shades from the bedside table and went to exit his prone position on the bed. "Miss Redheart, it's been a pleasure."

The medical mare sighed and put a hoof on the blond pony's chest, gently but firmly pushing him back onto the divan. "We're not finished yet, Mr. Wesker. I need a blood sample. If the test results are as good as your vitals then you're free to go, though it would be appreciated if you came back to see me tomorrow."

Wesker angled his head to the side. "How could I resist, dear heart?"

Redheart gave a small smile, retrieving a needle from her medical coat. "You can't charm your way out of this one, Mr. Wesker."

"A pity."

The removal of the blood was relatively rapid and painless. Once it was finished, Wesker shot an inquisitive look at the nurse. "When will the results come back?"

Nurse Redheart tapped a hoof across her chin as she pondered the question. "Before noon, hopefully."

Wesker froze. "Sometime in the next four hours, then?"

She nodded.

"I have to spend four hours here?" She nodded again, a flicker of irritation passing across her features. He sighed wearily. "The wonders of modern medicine."

She rolled her eyes again. "Just be grateful I used a needle to extract your blood."

Ha, she zinged you Al, she zinged you good.

With that she bid Wesker farewell, reminding him that he could contact her should anything be amiss by pressing the red button on the right hand side of his bedpost, and that he certainly shouldn't try to escape.

Once she had departed, Wesker picked up one of the books that Twilight had left: 'Elements of Harmony: A Reference Guide'. Hopefully this would help pass the hours until the test came back clear and he could leave this awful place.

Yes, it's clean and safe. How awful, Albert.

The former human ignored Critical and settled down with the weighty tome. A voice echoed from the hallway, one which Wesker recognized. "You say he was just in here, Nurse Redheart? My thanks."

Rarity materialized in the doorframe, shadowed by Fluttershy. "Darling, we heard what happened and decided to pop in and see if you were all right. We were worried sick, weren't we Fluttershy?"

The yellow pegasus smiled timidly. "Yes."

Wesker repressed the urge to sigh. He had never had visitors on the few previous occasions he had been in a hospital; his own parents hadn't deemed him worthy of a visit when he'd nearly blinded himself. It seemed as though he should be grateful for the two mares checking upon his well-being, but anxiety from others over his condition was not something he was used to. "Well, you have no need to concern yourselves: I am sufficiently healthy and merely need to wait for my blood test to confirm this."

Fluttershy cringed lightly at the mention of blood. Rarity scrutinized him closely. "You certainly look well enough, though I suppose it doesn't hurt to be careful."

Wesker nodded half-heartedly in agreement as Fluttershy was fretting over the minute pinprick on the blond pony's front leg, "Ooh, they took your blood? Did they use a needle? Did it hurt? Are you okay? I hope you're okay."

The former Umbrella operative glanced from the almost unperceivable blemish on his skin back to the shy mare's concerned features. "I'll survive, Miss Fluttershy... somehow." He noticed the Fashionista still examining him and raised an eyebrow in her direction, "Can I help you with something, Miss Rarity?"

The unicorn gave a sheepish grin, "My apologies, Albert, but what exactly happened when you ran out of the party? Both myself and Fluttershy are all at sea over what went on."

Wesker pushed his shades back up. "I'm not entirely sure, Miss Rarity, but without wanting to go too far into the intimate details, I deposited the contents of my stomach into the nearest foliage... then I lost consciousness."

He cocked his head to the side in consideration as Rarity attempted valiantly to hide her disgust at the idea of vomiting. "I suppose the method of my arrival into Ponyville is unknown; perhaps I hit my head with considerable force and had a concussion. It would certainly explain both the amnesia and the stomach upset. I assume the amount of sleep I had recently will have helped with the recovery process."

The former S.T.A.R.S. captain felt proud of himself for coming up with such a viable excuse so rapidly. His intellect was still as sharp as ever.

Shame your lies won't achieve anything anymore, Albert.

Wesker frowned.

Short term goals, Al.

Short term goal: don't get run out of Ponyville by telling everyone about the shadow creature in your head. It seemed perfectly logical. Luckily, Rarity and Fluttershy both seemed receptive to his theory, at least until the pure white mare frowned. "Do you know why Rainbow ran out after you?"

Wesker carefully avoided a sneer at the mention of the multicolored pegasus' name. "Miss Rainbow was merely checking whether I felt well." He saw the caretaker and the dressmaker share a look. "Does that seem so improbable?"

"Well... it's just that..." Fluttershy stumbled over her words as she attempted to remain diplomatic.

"The two of you didn't appear to get along all that well," Rarity finished for her, Fluttershy giving her meek agreement.

As he considered how best to phrase his reply, Wesker ran a hoof through his mane. "We may have our differences of opinion during the course of the party…"

He valiantly ignored the looks of disbelief he was getting from his present company. "And we may have had a... disagreement, before I succumbed to whatever mystery condition I previously had, but we had reached an accord." He paused as he attempted to find a follow-up point. "She went to get help when I collapsed, did she not?"

The fact that the pair of mares looked stunned at the idea that anypony would leave somepony – even one they disliked – alone in a moment of need suggested to Wesker that he was in a world far more innocent and peaceful than the one he had loathed so much before his untimely and, in his opinion, tragic death. Rarity looked beseechingly at him. "You didn't actually think that Rainbow Dash would leave you in that state, did you, Albert?"

Wesker remained impassive, internally cursing for even mentioning the idea. "Of course not, Miss Rarity, I was merely making a hypothetical point. In any case, how is Miss Rainbow?"

Fluttershy still looked ill at ease, but Rarity seized up the chance for gossip with unnerving enthusiasm, leaning in towards the stallion. "Well, she seemed glad that you were going to be okay when she found out. Though, if I were you Albert, I'd be careful."

All of Wesker's finely tuned instincts were practically vibrating with tension as he waited for Rarity to continue. "Her and Pinkie have teamed up to prank the good ponies of Ponyville, and I doubt even your recent illness would keep you safe from them."

The former human just about managed to avoid letting out a sigh of relief. "I'll be sure to keep an eye out for them, though I doubt Miss Rainbow would risk another prank on me."

Rarity and Fluttershy giggled lightly as the latter went to speak out in agreement, only to be interrupted by the arrival of a medical pony whose presence was sudden and unannounced. "Right," she began, "that's half an hour. Until we get Mr. Wesker's blood test results back, we have to minimize the chance of any disease passing to anypony else. "

Wesker bid his visitors as fond a farewell as his inherent personality allowed before hefting his book to eye level. Fluttershy turned as she walked from the room and clocked the title of the volume that the blond earth pony was indulging in, "Oh, the elements of harmony! Feel free to ask any of us about them anytime, Albert, we all represented a different one when we defeated Nightmare Moon." He made a non-committal noise of confirmation and his visitors departed the room.

Twenty seconds later, once he had read the basic description of the elements of harmony in the introduction, his brain gave him a rather sizeable mental nudge.

He turned to the nurse. "Wait, what did she just say?"

Albert Wesker and the Search for Answers

Author's Note: Sorry about the massive delay, people, university has kept me very busy I'm afraid. This chapter may seem a bit convoluted or pointless but it's important to see Wesker's thought process in action, he thinks very differently from myself and so I need to 'get under his skin' as much as I can. Sorry if that sounded a tad pretentious but hey, it's your fault for encouraging me. :P Beta'd by the very patient REV6Pilot.

Nurse Redheart looked at Wesker's startled features with a certain degree of confusion. "Did you not know? Those six ponies are quite famous around these parts. They stopped Nightmare Moon when she returned last Summer Sun Celebration. They're not really the type to brag, though." At his sceptical counter stare she relented and said, "Apart from Rainbow Dash, of course."

As he considered the implications of this revelation, the blond pony frowned. Did that make his newly met acquaintances superhuman?

Superpony, Al...

Whatever, he was far too busy to contemplate semantics. What exactly was the source of their power? Was it simply the elements of harmony themselves? Could he harness that power for himself? Would he even be capable of using these elements? There was only one way to find out more, the very book he was holding.

He was so enraptured by his musings that he hadn't even noticed a slightly unnerved Nurse Redheart leaving the room. He drank in the knowledge contained within the pages of the tome; for the first time since his arrival in this bizarre land, Albert Wesker had a true purpose, and he certainly was not going to allow it to elude his grasp.

A couple of hours later, he had only a slight increase in his understanding of the Elements of Harmony, but understood vaguely what Dark meant when she said she was created by 'the Discord amongst ponies'. This Discord character was the physical representation of chaos, which would explain Dark's vested interest in disrupting the harmony of Equestria. Apparently this Discord was defeated by the princesses Celestia and Luna both, using the elements of Harmony in tandem to vanquish their foe and create a regime of peace in Equestria until Luna rebelled and was sealed in the moon, again by the fabled elements.

It was abundantly clear to Wesker that whatever forms this mystical power took; its potential was incredibly high. Unfortunately, from what he could deduce, it seemed as though one had to represent the elements which comprised harmony itself: Loyalty, Honesty, Generosity, Laughter, Kindness and a mysterious sixth element which apparently only revealed itself once the other five were aligned.

It appears unlikely that one such as you would be worthy of controlling such power, Albert.

Wesker lowered the book with a sour expression on his face. If those were the components of character needed to utilize them, then the elements of harmony would no doubt remain beyond his reach for all eternity. He resented having such a tantalizing promise of power ripped away by his inherent character. What was the point of bequeathing such a potent weapon to those who probably had no disposition towards using it?

He would care to venture that the only time the elements were used were in the defeat of those who actually had a little ambition beyond banality. It angered him. It was a waste of potential, and nothing aggravated Wesker more than wasted potential.

Apart from CHRRISSSSSSSSS!

The stallion rolled his eyes while examining his book. The reminder of that particular moment of insanity was certainly not appreciated.

Apparently, these elements had been used three times and this book only documented two of the occasions, making him realize that the occurrence Fluttershy mentioned must have taken place fairly recently.

His confinement in this bland place took on a new level of irritation; he needed to ask his six acquaintances about these elements of harmony as soon as he could. Wesker came to the logical conclusion that he should ask either Twilight Sparkle or Fluttershy first – the former would have the most complete and intelligent summary of what exactly occurred, and the latter would be far less likely to react to any pressure he exerted in gleaning facets of the story that he was perhaps not meant to know.

It was fairly simple for Wesker to ascertain which ponies corresponded to which elements, in particular the insufferable Rainbow Dash's Loyalty, and Laughter, which needed no real rumination. He assumed that the meek yellow pegasus represented Kindness, the rough-and-tumble farm pony was indicative of Honesty, and the fashionista was the embodiment of Generosity. This left miss Sparkle as the bearer of the mystery element, the most powerful and unknown of all six.

That certainly aided him in deciding who to visit first.

Because you just want to know more, right Al?

A cruel smirk tickled the corners of Wesker's mouth.

Right, Al?

It wasn't unreasonable to say that the former S.T.A.R.S. captain simply wanted to know more. He merely wished to use that knowledge at a later date, for his own purposes, and the prospect of having the power to rise above his ludicrous current position was tempting, to say the least. Perhaps he had been brought to Equestria for a purpose; attaining these elements would certainly raise him to a position rivaling what he had hoped to achieve before his demise.

Ever heard of hubris, Al?

Wesker sneered; his death was not the result of poetic justice or 'karma', he had not perished because he had overreached his limits. His death was the simple result of carelessness and his own megalomania, a mistake he would not repeat. Furthermore, the power he could glean from the elements seemed infinitely more immaculate than what his ascension to would-be godhood promised; perhaps these elements were what made Celestia immortal? Perhaps that same attribute would be bestowed upon him once he obtained them for himself.

If you can, Albert. It seems it would be wise to develop your loyalty and honesty.

Very unlikely... there was a route around that issue, he was sure of it. This world was so bland and its denizens so inherently kind-hearted that he could easily run his machinations without fear of interruption. It would be effortless, compared to the nonstop suspicion he faced whilst working at Umbrella. All his covert operations would be meaningless, however, unless he found out exactly what he needed to do to gain the power that lurked tantalizingly close… and that in turn involved leaving this accursed hospital!

He lowered his book once more, confident that he had gleaned all he could without further enlightening from a few certain Ponyville citizens. He glanced up at the clock; it ticked so slowly, Wesker almost interpreted it as insolence. Did it not realize that he had vital things to do and important places to be?

It was around half past eleven and his blood test results had still not returned, the only way he would deem that acceptable was if Rainbow had had some sort of accident and was being tended to in lieu of him. Sadly, it appeared the universe was too oblivious to his continuing wishes for ill health on the pegasus' part. He scowled as he leaned back in his hospital bed.

A thought struck him... what if his blood tests revealed that he was not meant to be in this land? What if some anomaly showed up and revealed him for what he was? Even the best case scenario would involve Nurse Redheart wanting to keep him around for further tests to try and ascertain what made him different from other ponies; he doubted the truth would be taken well. He was an alien, essentially, and torches and pitchforks came to mind.

How is that different to what you were before you died, Al?

That did nothing to assuage his fears. When someone found out his true nature before he came to Equestria, they either dealt with it or he killed them, an option which was sadly lacking in this world...

Or was it?

Al...

Yes, it was. He lacked the astronomical abilities he possessed before; he would probably get tired after he'd got into double figures of pony corpses. Weight of numbers had him undone.

Sheesh Al, I thought we'd gotten past this whole psychopath thing.

He preferred the term 'ruthlessly efficient', but society liked to hit the panic button and label things that didn't conform to its demands. Regardless, he had a problem: these tests could curtail his time in Equestria or, at the very least, make it incredibly difficult.

It was for no other reason that Wesker tensed violently when Nurse Redheart suddenly appeared in the doorway. She looked at the former Umbrella operative with a mixture of confusion and concern.

"Are you all right, Mr. Wesker?"

Wesker cracked the joints in his neck, mildly embarrassed to have reacted so strongly. "Indeed. You merely startled me. I assume you have the results of my blood test?"

She nodded once, "I do, Mr. Wesker."

To be continued...

Albert Wesker and the Plan in Motion

Author's Note: Thanks again for the feedback, you're all lovely people. Fan art for this story was drawn by xBubba1995x and I am greatly honored, if anyone has similar drawings then don't be afraid to send it my way. I can't do science btw, so this chapter probably isn't very technically proficient. REV6Pilot beta's and deserves all your love.

Albert Wesker held his breath as Nurse Redheart scanned the clipboard with his blood test results. A great deal of inconvenience could arise from this and, perhaps for the first time in his unnatural life, he wished to be as bland and ordinary as any other person, pony or otherwise.

The pink-maned mare glanced up, noticing the stallion's tense stance, and offered a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Mr. Wesker, you're perfectly healthy…" All of the tension drained out of him, and he returned her smile with one of his own. "… but your blood cells are unlike anything I've ever seen before."

The grin faded as the tension returned with a vengeance. The stallion stared blankly at the nurse, carefully marshalling his features to shroud his apprehension. "What do you mean, Miss Redheart?"

The medical pony once more grinned in a benign fashion, assuaging Wesker's fears, if only slightly. "As I said, it's certainly nothing to concern yourself with, but it appears as though your red blood cells are infinitely more healthy and active than any I've ever seen. I did some brief tests and it seems they are actually capable of repairing themselves."

Wesker frowned. "Tell me the intricate scientific details and trust me when I tell you I will understand."

Redheart looked slightly taken aback, but her obvious excitement at the discovery overrode her suspicions. She began talking at a lightning pace, in a way that reminded Wesker of Birkin when excited. "Essentially, your erythrocytes contain both a nucleus and organelles, unlike the usual strain. They are even able to reproduce."

Wesker briefly forgot his fears of persecution and began to join Redheart in the thrill of scientific discovery, even though he had been in this situation before, after his resurrection. "Meaning that, if the effect is replicated in other parts of my system, I am capable of rapidly regenerating any wounds I sustain."

The pure white earth pony nodded enthusiastically. Well, at least one remnant of his superhuman abilities remained, and the only pony who knew was as fascinated by it as he was. A plan instantly appeared at the forefront of his mind. "I assume this captivating phenomenon may have occurred via some sort of magical catastrophe, perhaps the very same that was responsible for wiping my memory." He smiled pleasantly whilst his brain made rapid calculations. "Should you release me from your care now, I would be happy to return tomorrow in order to assist you in understanding the scope of this incredible effect."

Redheart nodded in affirmation, clearly enamoured with the idea of furthering the cause of medical science. The former Umbrella operative leaned in towards her in a conspirator-y fashion. "However, I would prefer it if you did not mention my... condition, to any of the citizens of Ponyville. I am already an outsider, and I do not wish to be looked upon as a freak as well." He looked beseechingly over the rims of his shades at her, and asked, "You understand, don't you, Miss Redheart?"

Her expression softened at the scientist's 'heartfelt' words. "You have my word, Mr. Wesker that it will stay between you and me. Your blood could be the key to saving lives."

Hardly, Wesker thought. As if he would waste the blood of a god on the inferior beings. Out loud, on the other hand, he said, "That is a noble goal, Miss Redheart."

She smiled in return.

"Am I free to go?"

Redheart nodded. "You are certainly healthy enough, Mr. Wesker. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow for further tests."

"And I look forward to assisting your research," Wesker lied with practiced ease as he climbed from the bed. "My thanks for your assistance and cooperation."

"Not at all," she grinned once more, clearly giddy at what she had just discovered. "Stay safe, Mr. Wesker."

He smirked. "No promises, dear heart, but I shall endeavour to keep my blood within my vessels." With that, he was gone from his sanitary cell and into the real world after a series of whitewashed corridors.

The feel of the sun of his face caused the former human to breathe a heavy sigh of relief and begin to formulate new ideas in the recesses of his mind. This situation was almost certainly the best-case scenario: he was still genetically superior, and there was no danger of any other citizens finding out and persecuting him. Furthermore, he would be able to collaborate with a medically sapient individual in order to discover the potential of his genes.

A cruel smirk spread slowly across his face. Albert Wesker was back.

Shame, I liked it when you were making pancakes and being polite, Al.

Of course, there was no reason to be start being rude to his associates: firstly, such a drastic change in behavior would arouse suspicion, and secondly, any animosity would be an unwelcome distraction from accumulating the power he could possibly claim.

Plus, he still liked pancakes, having realized that being a deity that transcended separate existences couldn't change that.

… Good to know?

Relaxed by the pleasant surprise involving the sweet pastries, Wesker's focus returned to his previous conundrum, more specifically how to acquire the Elements of Harmony, or at least transfer their might to him. His best bet for the time being was the intellectually effervescent Twilight, who would almost certainly fill in the gaps his reading material could not.

He began to walk leisurely towards the library, feeling utterly indestructible, glancing absentmindedly at his foreleg while considering the nuances and branching paths his plan could possibly take. Idly, he noticed that the small incision he had received from Nurse Redheart taking his blood has closed up entirely, with no evidence of it remaining. That settled that then, his regenerative capabilities weren't limited to his blood cells.

He still needed to realize just how powerful it was, though. Could he survive something lethal to a normal pony?

Why don't you test it by impaling yourself, Albert?

He sighed condescendingly. Not the most scientifically precise way of ascertaining his suspicion, but at least it was a suggestion. Once he arrived at Twilight's home, he noticed the presence of both Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie; the energetic duo were lurking outside the unicorn's window and giggling at something that was unseen to the male.

Even the presence of the irritating pegasus could not dull his newly discovered good mood, however, and he cleared his throat, causing the two to turn around in shock. "Has the window told you a particularly hilarious joke?"

Pinkie Pie snorted with laughter. Rainbow Dash smiled weakly.

"What exactly is going on?" he asked again. Pinkie waved Wesker over and pointed through the window to an increasingly baffled Twilight as she watched the words she wrote disappear moments after, causing both mares to guffaw with glee. The sound eventually attracted the attention of the purple mare and her eyes narrowed as she realized the practical joke. An amused smile spread across her face and she shook her head light-heartedly at her friends, before shooting an inquisitive look at Wesker.

He motioned with his hoof towards the door, and Twilight smiled and nodded. The pranking pair shot off at high speed, and the former S.T.A.R.S. captain smirked as he trotted towards the wooden door, which opened at his approach.

The unicorn tilted her head and examined Wesker, her face filled with honest curiosity. "How can I help you, Albert?"

Wesker smirked faintly, "May I come inside first, Miss Twilight? I really do not wish to be within the range of Miss Dash and Miss Pie."

"I'll bet you don't," Twilight laughed lightly, stepping aside to allow him access.

The stallion's smirk grew when she repeated her question seconds later. "I'd like to ask you about Nightmare Moon and the Elements of Harmony."

Albert Wesker and the Revelation

Author's Note: Just watched the season 2 finale and I absolutely loved it. Can't wait for season 3. As always, I love you and your feedback and I want to give you all hugs but I won't because you might feel our relationship hasn't reached that stage yet. Beta'd by REV6Pilot.

Twilight's smile faltered very slightly as she processed the incognito scientist's question. "I'd be happy to tell you everything I know… but why exactly are you interested?"

Wesker offered a ghost of a smile. "Natural curiosity?"

Twilight remained sceptical.

Sighing internally in annoyance, the stallion decided to come clean… mostly, at least. "Your friend, Miss Fluttershy, mentioned that you and your comrades battled Nightmare Moon using the Elements of Harmony." His mouth twisted into a frown. "There were too many gaps in my book to fully sate my desire for knowledge. Of course, you are more well-versed and informative than any volume I could possibly find, so I decided to come to you, dear heart." He peered at her over the rims of his glasses.

The lavender unicorn blushed lightly at the praise and motioned the blond over to a pair of chairs in the corner of the library. As soon as the pair was settled into the cushions, she leaned forward. "Where do you want to me to start, Albert?"

Wesker smirked. "From the beginning," he said, cracking the joints of his neck, "and finish when you get to the end."

Twilight rolled her eyes, but carried on regardless, telling him the story of her first days in Ponyville. Wesker stroked the base of his chin in contemplation once the mare was done. "So you rediscovered these elements yourself? No one else knew about them besides Celestia?"

Twilight shook her head. "It's Princess Celestia," she corrected, "and everypony knew about them. They all just thought they were a foal's tale."

Wesker nodded slowly. A millennium had a way of blurring the lines between fact and fiction, he supposed. "And this Celestia was the last to use the elements before you?"

"Princess Celestia!" Twilight objected once more, evoking a sly smirk from Wesker. "Yes, she was, Albert, she used it on her sister to banish her to the moon."

The former human pushed his shades to the bridge of his nose as another thought struck him. "Then, these elements can change their 'allegiances'? They are not bound to their users for all eternity, or at least their lifetime?"

Twilight hummed as she considered the question. "Princess Celestia told me that the elements were no longer connected to her. I guess that's why she needed me to use the magic of friendship to unite the elements and defeat Nightmare Moon."

Wesker's eye twitched at the mention of 'the magic of friendship'. He had been very incredulous at that point of the story; the mystery element that Miss Sparkle possessed was magic, which he fundamentally could never use on a biological level. Annoyance didn't quite cover his range of emotion, but he had to learn more of the story, in case he could find a way to work around it.

"And you say that Princess Luna was 'purified' by the elements?"

Twilight smiled lightly at Wesker finally remembering to refer to a princess by her proper title. "Yes, Albert. She was Nightmare Moon but the elements of harmony purged the evil from her."

The former Umbrella operative's brow furrowed. "So, Nightmare Moon was merely an alter-ego of Luna."

Twilight scowled.

"Princess Luna." He hastily added. "Though, the textbook seems to imply that Nightmare Moon and Princess Luna are two entirely separate entities. Is that also the result of the amount of time that has passed since the original incident?"

Confusion crossed Twilight's face. "It's pretty complicated, but I think some outside force managed to twist Princess Luna's mind to the point where she tried to rebel against Princess Celestia. Nopony knows what exactly happened to make her try what she did, though."

Wesker frowned in irritated concentration. An idea formed within his brain, causing him to turn to his companion with an arched eyebrow. "You say this Nightmare Moon travelled as a cloud of black smoke?"

Twilight nodded.

"What did she sound like?"

The bookworm blinked once as a look of utter bemusement swept across her face, "I'm sorry?"

The former S.T.A.R.S. captain sighed, "It's a very simple question. What. Did. She. Sound. Like?" Twilight started at his brusque tone but managed to recite a passable imitation of Dark, confirming his thought process. "Thank you, Miss Twilight. I apologize for my curtness, but I have a number of theories that I am concocting and every angle must be examined for me to be certain."

Twilight nodded at his apology, but looked only partially mollified. "Why would you need to know what she sounded like?"

"I needed to be sure she sounded different from Princess Luna herself," he lied instantaneously. "It raises a great deal of further questions, but progress is progress." She grinned at the man's statement, and Wesker got the impression that meeting an intellectual like himself was a rare event for the precocious unicorn.

So, his smoky acquaintance was responsible for corrupting Luna... He would have to ask her about that particular event tonight. The passive-aggressive, indirect methods used by this 'Nightmare Moon' to halt Twilight and her friends bordered on the pathetic, certainly nothing at all like what he would expect from Dark.

Of course, Albert, you've met her once! You must know exactly what she's like.

"Any other questions to ask, Albert? I'm always happy to help someone who wants to expand their range of knowledge."

Wesker snapped out of his reverie and turned towards the enthusiastic grin of the library's inhabitant, just as the second half of its populace entered via the front door, announcing himself via hiccups, each punctuated with a small spout of green flame. "Hey Al... hic... hey Twilight... hic... you guys seen Pinkie and Rainbow? ...Hic... They're doing some really funny pranks... hic."

Twilight giggled at the purple dragon's continuous hiccupping before her horn glowed with luminescent purple light and she casted an enchantment in the direction of her assistant, who sighed with relief as his breathing returned to normal.

A solitary eyebrow arch and the faintest trace of a grin emerged upon Wesker's face as Twilight looked piercingly at Spike a moment later. "Spike! Don't tell me you forgot to bring back the scrolls I needed for Princess Celestia!"

Spike rubbed his claws together nervously. "Well, I did pick them up from the store, but, err... Pinkie and Rainbow Dash scared me, so I dropped them."

Twilight pressed her hoof against the side of her head, "Okay then... you did pick them up, didn't you?"

Guilt showed up markedly on the face of the purple dragon, "Well I tried to, but I had the hiccups and every time I had one, I... kinda accidentally sent a scroll to the princess."

Wesker frowned at the line of conversation. What on earth were they talking about? "How can hiccupping cause you to send a letter by accident?"

Spike turned to the blond stallion, "Oh, sorry Al, I forgot you're new here. I use my flame to send Twilight's friendship reports to the Princess."

Wesker made an appreciative noise. Instantaneous messaging was a fascinating use of magic; perhaps it was used in lieu of technology that could not be created by a hoof? Did this mean that unicorns were therefore more vital to the well-being of society than either of the other races?

His keen mind caught up with the second half of Spike's statement, and he whipped round to face Twilight. "Friendship report?"

However, his unicorn companion had a glazed look of horror in her eyes, which remained fixated on Spike. "There were twenty five blank scrolls! Are you saying you sent all of them to Princess Celestia?"

"Erm..." Spike looked beseechingly at Wesker for support, but received only a shrug in return. "… kinda?"

Her eyes widened and her mouth made an 'o' of terror. "What if she thinks I'm not taking my study of friendship seriously and that I sent all those blank letters myself as an act of rebellion?"

Wesker snorted, causing Twilight to shoot a glare in his direction. "This is serious!"

Luckily for the blond stallion, Spike interrupted by belching and causing a scroll to materialize before his eyes, taking Twilight's attention away from the smirking scientist. The biped of the trio snatched it out of the air and unfurled it, making a small noise of exclamation as a coin purse dropped from the depths of its folds onto the ground. Spike cleared his throat.

"'My dear student, Twilight'," he read. "'I assume Spike has the hiccups again.'" He grinned sheepishly at that. "'I did actually need to buy more blank scrolls, so your interruption was actually quite useful, though I would have preferred them at a lesser frequency.'"

Spike and Twilight chuckled, and Wesker allowed himself a wry smile. "'Here are some bits to cover the cost of the scrolls you sent me. I hope you're having a wonderful time in Ponyville learning about the magic of friendship. Your Mentor, Celestia.'"

Twilight sighed with obvious relief at the same moment Wesker realized something. "She didn't say Princess Celestia, dear heart, she just said Celestia."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "She's the Princess and she's allowed to call herself whatever she wants."

Wesker sighed.

"So, Spike," the unicorn retook her line of thought. "You say Dash and Pinkie pranked you? They got me too. Invisible ink trick." She turned towards Wesker with a faint smile. "You'd better watch out, Albert, you know how you are with pranks."

Unfazed, he arched an eyebrow in Twilight's direction. "Whatever do you mean, Miss Twilight? I am perfectly capable of being pranked in a calm fashion."

She looked sceptically at him, cocking her head to the side.

"Fine," he conceded bitterly, "some of us just prefer a quieter, prank-free existence. Either way, I'll try not to react too violently should they encounter me again."

No guarantees, I suspect, Al. Especially since you've got your god complex back.

Satisfied, the mauve mare strolled over to the corner of the library and began sorting books telekinetically. Suddenly, she jumped as a thought struck her. "Oh, Albert, Applejack wanted to see you once you got out of hospital. You should go meet up with her."

Wesker nodded and slowly extracted himself from the comfortable piece of furniture he lay on. "Thank you for telling me, and thank you for your time. You've certainly enlightened me a great deal."

As he exited the library, he turned to the small dragon. "A pleasure to see you as well, Spike."

Once Spike had responded in kind and Twilight had uttered her goodbyes, the mare began collaborating with her dragon assistant to create a reply to Celestia...

Princess Celestia, Al.

Wesker rolled his eyes, slipping out of the enchanted tree and once more breathing in the sweet summer air on his way to Sweet Apple Acres. His visit to Twilight's residence was certainly a worthwhile pursuit that had enabled him to not only gain further trust of one of Ponyville's most influential citizens, but also enlightened him with regards to Dark's past. Useful information, no doubt, and information was the most valuable commodity when dealing with an unknown force.

He would dare to venture that knowing her origins would ultimately be even more useful, but so far all he had was 'the Discord amongst ponies' and a frustratingly vague description of this Discord individual. Perhaps he would inquire as to the nature of the 'spirit of chaos' some other day; he was sure that miss Twilight would have read a wide variety of tomes, and Discord would be mentioned in more detail in at least a few of them. She would certainly impart some of that knowledge onto himself.

He had plenty of time to accumulate data and formulate a plan; all he had to do was take his time and ensure he was as organized as he could possibly be. Then he would strike however his godlike intellect determined he should.

Albert Wesker did not go into any situation unprepared, particularly when the ultimate prize was so tantalizing. Power beyond any he had known... it was certainly worth whatever trivial small talk this world burdened him with.

Once his time came, the unworthy would not even dare raise a word to him.

Albert Wesker and the Suspicious Rabbit(s)

Author's Note: Ahoy! I am back, if only for the briefest of moments. This is horrible procrastination but hopefully you'll like it. Love you all, review, comment, etc. The feelings of Angel Bunny owe a certain debt to Dirty Bit (Author of 'Are You Ready?' Read it) who planted the idea in my head a fair old while ago. Also, Caitlin might end up being important... or not. Sorry for the extended foray out of pony territory but I hope the Wesker-y goodness means you'll forgive me. Beta'd by REV6Pilot.

It was with a lingering sense of smug superiority that Wesker departed to meet with Applejack. 'Living in the moment', as it had been put and he had been doing, was all well and good, but now he actually felt like he was making real progress. William had always said that without a project to work on, he had a tendency to feel lost, and he could certainly see where his deceased friend was coming from. He needed adversity and challenge to focus his mind and maximize his productivity; cooking competitions and dancing just couldn't compare with the thrill of accumulating the power he desired.

Ever thought about what you'll do with the power when you get it, Al?

Wesker nodded absent-mindedly to himself as he mentally worked the framework of his overarching plan. He would establish a new world order. Death would not hold him back from his goal.

But... Spencer was the one... Ah, forget it; it's like trying to talk to a brick wall.

The former Umbrella operative rolled his eyes. He'd have thought that the restoration of his sanity would have eliminated these incessant voices, but apparently they were there for the long haul. As though summoned by his frustration, another voice cut through his mind.

Albert Wesker, you've been going to a great deal of effort to learn about me.

Nausea and the all too familiar headache accompanied Dark's words, forcing an unbidden grunt of pain to issue forth from the blond stallion's lips as he formed a reply, in too much discomfort to think about keeping his thoughts to himself. "I thought we agreed that you would no longer contact me like this."

I believe we also agreed on an equal partnership. Why are you trying to gain the upper hand?

Another wave of sickness passed through Wesker's system and he closed his eyes whilst pressing a hoof to his temple in an attempt to quash the pain residing there. "I am not 'attempting to gain the upper hand'; I merely wish to be on a level field." All the agony and discomfort brought his anger to an apex. "You will soon know everything there is to know about me and I know nothing about you, so do not dare to keep me in the dark."

His eyes snapped open and pure fury flooded his system, "I am not to be crossed! Now leave!" Silence and a distinct lack of pain greeted his words, and he breathed a sigh of relief until his vision refocused and he saw a concerned Fluttershy approaching from a distance, Angel in tow. Clearly his voice had risen in volume towards the end of his diatribe and attracted the meek pegasus' attention.

He had to hope that she hadn't heard anything he had said. Eventually, the yellow mare reached conversational distance, alarm written all over her features. "Are you all right, Albert? I heard shouting." Suddenly, she gave a small squeak of horror and leapt backwards. Albert reacted with no small amount of surprise as he stepped towards her, a solitary eyebrow raised.

"What seems to be the problem, Miss Fluttershy?" he asked calmly, examining her minutely over the tops of his glasses, hoping to draw attention away from his earlier 'episode'.

"I... I..." Fluttershy took several deep breaths to compose herself. "I'm sorry Albert, I must have imagined it. I'm such a scaredy pony."

Wesker's curiosity was wholly peaked at this point. "Imagined what?"

Fluttershy looked down at the ground, pawing nervously and hiding her face behind a veil of pink mane. Eventually she whispered two words, "Your eyes."

Wesker raised another eyebrow to accompany the first and slowly removed his sunglasses, flipping them around and using the mirrored surface to examine his face. The familiar steel blue irises greeted him, and he looked back at the mare near him. "What about them, miss Fluttershy? They seem perfectly functional."

At this point, the pink-haired pony clearly felt mortified by her strong reaction, blushing a near luminescent shade of red. "I'm so sorry, Albert, I thought they were glowing red. I must not be getting enough sleep."

Though his heart was beating faster than he would have thought possible as he slowly and carefully replaced the sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, Wesker retained a perfectly unmoved visage. "No harm done, dear heart." He offered his subtle version of a reassuring smile. "Though I would appreciate a warning the next time you jump away from me in terror. It does nothing for my self esteem."

The shy pegasus weakly returned his smile, making a small noise as she remembered something. "What was the commotion about, Albert? I thought you were arguing with someone. I didn't hear what you were saying, but you sounded angry… I hope you're not angry."

The blond's mind worked overtime in an attempt to find a cover. He was internally relieved at Fluttershy's assertion that she hadn't heard what he was saying, but also annoyed that the docile mare had brought it up at all. Luckily, his previous preoccupation had offered him a fortunate get-out clause which he only now realized. "I wouldn't say angry, Miss Fluttershy, just irritated. I noticed that I had left my satchel at Miss Twilight's library and..." Wesker's lips twitched, "Felt the need to vent my feelings. I'm perfectly fine, but your concern in appreciated."

Fluttershy nodded with obvious relief. "I'm so glad to hear that Albert, I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. I'll see you later. Come on, Angel."

Wesker wished her farewell but not before briefly diverting his attention towards the aforementioned bunny. To his disbelief, the rabbit was watching the rogue S.T.A.R.S. captain through narrowed lids, heavy suspicion and wariness written into every facet of its normally cute features. Wesker raised an eyebrow in reply, causing Angel to perform the internationally accepted 'I'm watching you' pantomime. A faint smirk crossed Wesker's face and he offered it a mocking wave as Fluttershy departed, facing the opposite direction. The snow white mammal repeated the previous gesture as it slowly jogged off behind the pegasus.

You're being watched by a rabbit, Albert. I doubt you'll be capable of outmanoeuvring him.

Wesker rolled his eyes. Of course not. As he continued walking, he couldn't help but consider what Fluttershy had said. It would be beyond foolish to assume that she was indeed imagining the re-emergence of his demonic pupils, of course; the real dilemma was what triggered it and why they hadn't remained permanently. Questions and no answers appeared to be Equestria's theme.

After a few minutes of thinking, Wesker's thoughts returned to Fluttershy's pet rabbit, Angel. His track record with bunnies was notoriously poor, as he remembered…

May 24th1985

"What is that, Will?"

Birkin started noticeably and slowly turned to face his fellow scientist, conspicuously paying no attention to the form he was holding, a roughly square shape covered by a blanket. "Oh, hey, Al. How's it going? Hit any traffic on your way in?"

Wesker gently pinched his nose and let out a breath through it. For crying out loud, he hadn't even had his coffee yet. "No games, Will. What are you holding and how will it impact negatively on my life today?"

The other genius rolled his eyes. "You're such a drama queen. I was hoping to surprise you, but..." He elegantly whipped the cover off his held item, revealing what lay underneath. "What'd you think, Al?"

The taller blond stood impassively, examining the contents of the cage that Birkin had recently unveiled, as a redheaded female scientist passed by, exchanging a cursory greeting to the pair, one which was acknowledged by Will and ignored by the preoccupied man in shades. Unbeknownst to the pair, she continued examining the exchange once she reached her work station.

"It's a rabbit, Will."

Birkin sighed. "I can always rely on you to make the most pertinent observations."

Wesker waved a dismissive hand. "Fine, fine. I don't care. Are we testing the fifth strain of the T-Virus on it today then?"

Will's eyes widened in horror as he pulled the cage away from his friend, shielding it with his far shorter frame. "No, no, no! It's not a subject, it's the lab mascot!" He poked his finger through the bars towards the black-furred creature, whose nose twitched as the Umbrella scientist stroked it gently. Birkin looked up at Wesker with an evil grin. "He's called Alby."

He shuddered involuntarily, rapidly changing tact. "We are researchers, not children. Why have we got a mascot? Clearly only you want one."

Birkin wiggled his eyebrows triumphantly. "Actually, I took a poll of everyone in the lab." He diverted his gaze upwards in momentary contemplation. "Ten for, one against."

"Make that 2 against, Birkin," the taller one snarled.

Will laughed. "Actually I had already counted you, Sir Grumpypants." He slapped a smug smile on his face. "I didn't even count my own vote because I was the independent adjudicator."

The blond wiped a frustrated hand across his forehead, ignoring the amused giggle that issued from the female scientist. "You're telling me that every single person in this lab chose to get a pet rabbit?"

At this point, the redhead decided to pipe up, a fairly strong Irish accent permeating her words, "We thought it would increase morale."

Birkin nodded happily, clearly reveling in Wesker's annoyance. "That's right, Caitlin, that's why I pressured everyone into agreeing."

Caitlin smiled faintly. "I know, we thought you shutting up about it would increase morale."

Wesker forgot his annoyance for the briefest of moments as his lips twitched faintly, before the irritating snuffling of the black rabbit brought him crashing down to earth and he directed a dark glare at it, before turning to Caitlin. "Miss Donnelly… I hope you realize that, by allowing this filthy creature into our lab, you've significantly lowered my morale."

The redhead shrugged, pointing at Will. "He's more vocal about low morale than you are."

Concurrently, Birkin was glaring at Wesker. "Don't call him filthy." Then, a sly grin spread over his face once more. "Oh, what's the matter, Alby? Don't you like Alby?" He lifted the cage to the blond's eye level, and putting on an absurd falsetto voice, said, "What's the matter Alby, why don't you love me? I just want to be your friend."

Unlike Caitlin, who was stifling her laughter with the back of her hand, Wesker looked monumentally unimpressed. "I'm going to get coffee. Hopefully that overgrown rat will be dead by the time I get back."

Both Birkin and Donnelly failed to hold back their chuckles as Wesker departed the far end of the lab. By the time he got back, the rabbit had been put up on a pristine table at the side of the room. At least it was out of the way. Sipping gently at his coffee, he leaned down and examined the feral thing with a frown creasing his brow.

"You shouldn't frown, it'll give you wrinkles."

Caitlin had bounded over and was examining the rabbit with much more delight than the man in shades. She, like Will, extended a finger through the bars and gently stroked the thick fur of the bunny.

Wesker rolled his eyes. "Duly noted."

Donnelly withdrew her finger and turned to face the tall blond with a beaming smile, "Why don't you give Alby a stroke?"

He arched a sceptical eyebrow in reply, "What makes you think I have any desire to touch that horrid thing?"

She looked at her fellow scientist beseechingly, "Ah, go on. You might grow to love Alby."

Wesker shuddered. "I will stroke it. Once. If you promise to never call it Alby again."

Caitlin frowned, "Then what am I supposed to call it? That's his name."

"Anything!" he snapped. A second later, he realized his loss of control and began talking with as much control as he could muster, "Fluffy, Whiskers, Lord Bunnykins, anything. Just not Alby. I know Will chose that deliberately to annoy me, and I don't have time to kill that cretin today."

Caitlin snickered, not relenting even at the force of Wesker's glare. "All right then, go and give Lord Bunnykins a stroke."

Wesker sighed; he was supposed to be part of the country's greatest scientific minds. He tentatively reached his finger through the bars of the animal's cage just as Birkin rounded the corner. "Oh hey, you're making friends. I always knew you had a soul somewhere Al!"

Wesker bared his teeth in response as he slowly reached out towards Alby, who sniffed the finger tentatively, before sinking its teeth deep into the flesh and retreating to the corner.

The blond let out a grunt and yanked his finger out of the metal pen as Will howled with laughter. "Ahahahaha! I always knew rabbits could sense evil."

Wesker examined the freely flowing blood, a scowl etched deeply on his face, which he then turned upon the clearly demonic rabbit, serving only to further increase the hilarity Birkin was experiencing.

Caitlin sighed before grabbing the injured man's forearm and dragging him towards the first aid box. "You're really not an animal person, are you Wesker?"

He examined his knuckle dispassionately. "Apparently not."

She clicked her tongue as she opened up the green plastic case, retrieving a bandage and expertly applying it to the bite wound, before planting a small kiss on the bandage and causing Wesker to examine her with one eyebrow aloft. She grinned sheepishly, "Sorry, force of habit. My Ma always used to do the same."

He examined the bandage, which now had the faintest trace of lipstick on it. "I'm not sure it has any particular medicinal value."

Caitlin shrugged, "Might do. Anyway, we've got work to do. The sooner we finish, the sooner you can kill Birkin."

Wesker smirked as he followed the Irish scientist. She certainly knew how to motivate him.

Present Day

It was certainly a long time since he'd thought of any of his fellow lab members besides Will... Fortunately, he was spared having to dwell on the thoughts that that train of thought evoked by the sight that greeted his eyes. Sweet Apple Acres.

Time to find Applejack.

Albert Wesker and the Honest Pony

Author's Note: Sorry about the delay, have been working like a maniac (and eventually drinking like a maniac) over the last month but I've finally finished my second year of uni. Now I can focus on relaxing and getting ready for the summer... and writing this fic, of course. :D Beta'd by REV6Pilot. P.S. Anyone else as excited about Euro 2012 as I am? Can't wait!

"Do I frighten you?"

Albert Wesker, Marvel vs. Capcom 3

With another potential crisis averted, Wesker strode confidently towards the farmhouse beyondthe grounds of Sweet Apple Acres. He assumed Applejack's summons would have something to do with work, and he was more than happy to oblige – more attractive than the money, it was an ideal opportunity to get some more information regarding the Elements of Harmony. Though he wasn't entirely sure what else there could be to learn, it seemed that their nature was very simplistic and designed to never fall into the wrong hands.

Wrong hands, Albert? Who on earth could that be referring to? I dare say you're planning to use the elements for the purpose of creating rainbows.

This was merely a minor setback; the most important thing to remember was that he had time to prepare his scheme. No needless rushing ahead, no foolhardy advances, and if someone dared to oppose him, they would simply be eliminated. His most prominent mistake...

Of which there were many...

... Was not executing Redfield when he'd had the chance. He had wanted to see the last vestige of hope fade from his former subordinate's eyes before he pulled the trigger or ripped his heart from his chest. Sadly, Chris remained defiant throughout their emotional reunions, and so Wesker had taken it upon himself to break him so the ignoramus would know that he was in the presence of a superior being before he died. Foolishness... The former captain realized his folly now. There was no chance of repeating the mistake; a physical victory was just as pertinent as a psychological one.

Wesker's musings were cut short by his arrival at the farmhouse. It worried him just how whimsical and absentminded he had become recently. No doubt a result of this cloying, sentimental land... once it was wiped clean and refashioned to suit his vision, he would no longer be prone to these unscheduled bouts of nostalgia.

He rapped neatly upon the door three times in quick succession, eyes widening behind shades in mild shock when the way opened to reveal a pale yellow filly with a pink ribbon adorning her cherry mane. Applebloom was clearly far more eager to see Wesker than he was to see her; she flung her front hooves around his neck, clinging to the blond stallion, blissfully ignorant to the aura of mild distaste emanating from him. "Ah'm so glad you're okay, Mr Wesker! Applejack told me y'all were taken ill at the party, Ah was so worried!"

Eventually – far too long, in Wesker's opinion – the child released him and, resisting the urge to dust himself off, Wesker formulated a response. "Your concern is appreciated, Applebloom, but I was never in any real danger, it was merely a minor illness." She continued to watch him with unnerving happiness and relief, emotions the former scientist didn't usually associate with people in his presence. "I was told that your sister needed to see me, might you know the reasons behind that?"

Applebloom puzzled over the question for a moment before shaking her head vigorously. "I ain't heard nothin' about that..." Her faint disappointment at being unable to provide an answer was almost instantly chased away by enthusiastic realization. "But I do know where she'll be, want me to show ya?"

Wesker nodded once and motioned for the filly to lead on, which she did, bounding eagerly out the front door. The blond ran a relieved hoof through his mane as the astronomical energy of Applejack's little sister was directed away from him.

He trotted lightly after Applebloom as she impatiently glanced back; clearly confused that he wasn't as willing to sprint as she was. After a few minutes of movement that included a very poorly judged attempt by the filly to start a sing-along as they travelled, they found themselves amongst an almost fully ploughed field occupied by Applejack herself, who stood proudly as she prepared to finish the final strip of land.

Wesker glanced sidelong at Applebloom. "Thank you, Applebloom. I'll see you some time in the near future."

She beamed in response, oblivious to the weary note in his voice. "Ya, sure will, mr. Wesker! Hope y'all and Applejack have a nice chat! See ya later!" She darted off back down the dirt path she had led the stallion up on mere moments beforehand, and the former human breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Why were children so exasperating?

She was being friendly Al, try it some time. You might like it...

Ignoring Joy, he called out to Applejack as she undertook the final step of her cultivation. Turning to acknowledge the source of the voice, she smiled at Wesker despite the obvious strain of pulling the plough, unhooking herself with an exaggerated but undeniably weary groan. "Sheesh, I am exhausted. Just my luck that Big Mac got to deliver a couple o' bushels o' apples and I had to finish his ploughing for him." She tilted her head in the direction of the steadfast apple trees. "And I've got the pranking duo paintin' all my apples to boot." She wiped the sweat from her brow, "Mighty glad to see ya up and about Al, I've been meaning to chat with you."

Wesker waved his forelegs in a conciliatory gesture. "So I've heard, miss Applejack. What exactly did you want my company for?" He smirked as she briefly hesitated, "If you merely wished to bask in my presence, then I am flattered, dear heart."

Applejack snorted derisively, but not rudely. "Keep wishin', Blondie." She vacillated once more, but pushed through her indecision. "I heard from Rainbow what happened between you two before y'all passed out yesterday."

Wesker remained blank faced, even as he seethed internally at the cyan pegasus' capitulation. How could she be so weak-willed as to divulge such a clearly private interaction so readily? "Indeed. I can't begin to imagine what she would have said."

Applejack surveyed his face closely. "I got a gift for knowing the truth, Al. Don't be surprised that I worked out that ol' Rainbow wasn't telling me what actually happened."

Wesker kept his mask firmly in place. It appeared this was an interaction that the orange earth pony had engineered to try and glean more information from him; unfortunately for her, this was a game he had been forced to play for over thirty years. "I assume that is why you represent the Element of Honesty, dear heart."

The stallion took a moment to internally savour her look of surprise at the knowledge he showed. "However, I have no idea what lies Rainbow Dash told about our conversation that triggered your... intuition."

Applejack crossed her forelegs resolutely. "That's just the thing, Al, she wasn't tellin' the kind of lies I'm used to her tellin'. You know the sort: that she did a triple somersault and then saved all of Equestria while beatin' you in an argument, all in front of the Wonderbolts."

Wesker smirked once more at the acknowledgement of Rainbow's empty bravado.

"She was right hush about the whole thing and I knew she wasn't tellin' me the whole truth, but I didn't want to push it."

Wesker arched a sole eyebrow, "Then why have you gone to the trouble of summoning me here?"

"Summoned you?" The mare rolled her eyes. "Hold your horses, Al, I just wanted to hear your version of what happened."

Resolutely ignoring the use of an idiom which contained horses, lest his head explode from the confusion, he replied, "I'm not sure what there is to tell, miss Applejack. Are you expecting some grand conspiracy? Miss Rainbow and I had a clash of personalities, I went outside to vomit and she chose that moment as ideal for a confrontation."

He grimaced at the memory of how horrendous he felt after the infuriating pegasus decided to challenge him. It was not a feeling he would ever wish to experience again.

Applejack stroked her chin thoughtfully. "I thought as much, since Rainbow said the same, but when I asked her what you two actually said to each other, I knew she was making it up as she went along."

Wesker popped the joints in his neck. "Is that such a mystery? Ponies tend to say hurtful things in the heat of the moment. It makes sense that she would not wish to divulge the insults she may have uttered."

The blond mare looked partially mollified, "I suppose that's true... but I thought she would trust her friends enough to admit to what she said. She must know we wouldn't judge her for it."

Wesker waved his right hoof dismissively, "That's her business, and perhaps you should have confronted her with it when you spoke to her beforehand. All I know is that there is nothing to concern yourself with, and certainly no overarching conspiracy between myself and Miss Rainbow Dash."

The ponytailed pony nodded. "Sure thing, Al, I hope the two of you are on decent enough terms now." At Wesker's partially truthful acknowledgement that they were, she nodded once more, before a look of bemusement spread across her features and she spoke absent-mindedly to herself, "Huh, that's funny..."

Wesker allowed a solitary eyebrow to drift lazily upwards, "What exactly is 'funny'?"

She looked directly at the stallion. "Normally I can tell 100 percent of the time when somepony is lying or telling the truth, black or white, but with you... it's kind of strange. Like shades of grey every time I try and focus on what you're sayin'."

Wesker smirked and tilted his head down to examine the mare over the frames of his glasses. "Do I frighten you, Miss Applejack?"

His tone was teasing, but he made sure there was the faintest hint of an edge present in the recesses of his voice.

She smiled in return. "No ya don't, Al, but you confuse me. I know you're different to every other pony I've met, but for the life of me I can't tell how."

Wesker's smirk grew wider and he followed the other pony to the farmhouse. If only she knew...

Albert Wesker and the Game of Kings

Author's Note: Hello there you lovely people. Just a quick note to fanfiction users that this story is present on fimfiction too; the reverse also applies to fimfiction users. Many thanks for all your reviews and favourites etc. Enjoy.

Having to do a chore which wouldn't have existed without Rainbow Dash's intervention did nothing to endear the cyan pegasus to Wesker but his relatively high spirits allowed him to clean the multi-faceted apples which now dotted the orchard within Sweet Apple Acres without any specific death wishes directed at the athletic mare materialising in his mind. He considered that to be generous on his part and heartily ignored the involvement of Pinkie Pie in the scheme; the hyperactive earth pony unnerved Wesker more than any other citizen of Ponyville for a reason which he could not quite pinpoint and he had no desire to harbour negative thoughts surrounding her... primarily because he wasn't entirely sure she wasn't capable of reading his mind. It genuinely would not surprise him.

Nothing surprises you anymore, right Al?

True enough, if this whole experience had taught him anything, it was that the 'impossible' was anything but... not always pleasantly so either. Applejack had disappeared to attend to the colossal amount of work which accompanied working on a farm, Big Macintosh was still delivering apples somewhere within Ponyville town centre and Applebloom was mercifully absent; this allowed Wesker to complete his task quickly and efficiently. So far as anypony could operate a hosepipe with hooves, he definitely missed the capabilities that opposable thumbs offered him. Eventually he finished and was able to step back and examine his impeccable handiwork, an opportunity he only accepted for a fleeting moment before withdrawing into the farmhouse to recuperate. Ordinarily, the genius would have delved into his fairly sizable collection of reading material but his uncharacteristic absent-mindedness had robbed him of the opportunity. Instead he trudged slowly back towards the Apple family's home and considered his next move once more. Unfortunately for him, the chance to plot and scheme was removed instantaneously by the presence of another pony within the farmhouse, making herself known as soon as he breached the threshold of the door.

"Mr Wesker! Did y'all have a nice chat with Applejack? Have you finished all your work? Has she finished all of hers? Do you want to play a game?"

The blond sighed before turning to face his ambusher, "Yes, yes, I don't know and almost certainly not." At the whimper of disappointment she made, he relented very slightly, "It would depend on the game."

"Chess?"

Wesker's eyes widened in surprise; that actually sounded agreeable. It had been far too long since he had indulged himself in the tactical nuances of his favourite game and before he could even consider what he was saying, he impulsively accepted, "Of course, Miss Applebloom, it would be a pleasure."

She beamed, indicated to the surface they would be using and ran off to claim the board, leaving the former Umbrella operative to settle himself down in a chair and consider his opening move. Had he been against another logical adult, such as Miss Sparkle or even Birkin on the pleasantly frequent occasions that his old friend deigned to be beaten by him, he would almost certainly prefer to be black, in order to utilise the Queen's gambit and force his opponent to take the initiative. As it was, he didn't actually mind which colour he was forced to pick, he expected a win.

Sheesh, Al, you're playing a child. Take it easy, for once.

Unlikely... he played to claim victory and prove his intellectual superiority, not for 'fun'. Applebloom clattered down the stairs at that point, triumphantly waving a chess set before laying the various parts of the set upon the table. "Do y'all mind if I'm the black pieces?"

Wesker arched an eyebrow; he had expected a child to assume that the side which went first was the superior entity. Nonetheless, he nodded once and examined his pieces carefully as they were placed in front of him. "Do you often play chess, Miss Applebloom? Forgive my bluntness but I didn't imagine that it would be a game that you could enjoy."

She nodded enthusiastically, "Are y'all kidding, Mr Wesker? I love playin' me some chess, it's just a shame that no-one ever wants to play it with me. Applejack doesn't understand it and Big Macintosh always says he's too busy, I just think he doesn't understand it either but won't admit it." He inclined his head gently to acknowledge her statement before focusing intently upon his veritable army of variously shaped, shiny plastic soldiers. After a brief period of consideration he decided to start with the Réti Opening, ensuring that the board would be permeated with closed positions, making it difficult for an amateur to exploit

As expected, Wesker utterly dominated the match. He wasn't one to provide mercy, even in something as trivial as a game of chess; his goal was to win and he would pursue that goal until it was fulfilled, simple as that. As soon as the blond played his final move, guaranteeing a checkmate and a comprehensive victory, he smiled lightly at the filly, "A good game, Miss Applebloom, would you like to play another?"

A dazed look remained upon the face of the magenta-haired filly, one which had appeared fairly early on in the match and had lingered for the entirety of the contest. "Wow. Y'all must be the greatest chess player in Equestria; I've never seen anything like that." Applebloom's decision as to whether or not she wished to replay the match was not heard as her two siblings entered before she could voice it. "Applejack, Big Macintosh!" She darted out of her seat and ran up to her brother and sister, greeting each with customary eagerness as they entered the farmhouse. Wesker offered only a lazy smirk to the pair of them as they digested the scene laid before their eyes.

Unsurprisingly it was Applejack who spoke first, "Well, I'm guessin' y'all just lost at chess to my sister, she loves that game."

Wesker let out a faintly mocking laugh to accompany his growing smirk, "I am afraid you have misjudged the situation, Miss Applejack. I was the victor, though Miss Applebloom certainly has talent for her young age."

Applejack chuckled lightly as a blush spread across her younger sister's face at the stallion's praise, "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised y'all won, Al, you seem the type to get this brainy stuff." Wesker's grin remained fixed in place as he indicated to the seat opposite, "I don't think so, chess makes my head hurt." He scoffed lightly and turned his gaze to the muscular red stallion, raising a questioning eyebrow and indicating to the chess board.

"Ah'm all right, Mr Wesker. Would love to play y'all but I'm gonna be a mite busy cooking this here dinner." The large earth pony then all but scampered off to the kitchen area to prepare the meal he had in mind, causing the blond stallion to glance sidelong at Applebloom who giggled lightly at her assessments of her siblings being absolutely correct. He responded with a ghost of a smile.

Wesker then occupied himself by rearranging all the pieces to their previous pristine state as Applejack and her younger sister discussed their respective days. Try as he might, Wesker could not find any degree of solace or comfort in this homely scene; all he could think of was the tomes he had left within Twilight's library and the information he could be gleaning at this very moment. Dwelling on his foolishness would do him no good, however, and he chose instead to run through a series of tactical openings upon Applebloom's chessboard, analysing the strengths and weaknesses of each and summating their offensive and defensive capabilities. Birkin had always commented on how utterly focused Wesker was when playing chess, to a degree which eluded him even during experiments and lab reports. The blond had told Birkin that he focused so keenly on their games so that he could prove how much more intelligent he was than his friend. Truthfully, he found their games to be a welcome distraction from the incredibly rare but still powerful moral quandaries he found himself having over Umbrella's work. Still, he was not pathetic and weak-minded enough to believe that their results were not worth the methods used to obtain them. On the contrary, what they had achieved was worth the death and torture of infinitely more than what they had actually allowed.

You're all heart, Albert.

Obviously so. He could only pray that God could forgive him for not being a mindless cretin, happy with apathy and decay, discarding worthwhile research on the basis of a fatally flawed system of morality. His venomous musings were curtailed by the re-arrival of Big Macintosh as he introduced a series of daffodil and daisy sandwiches, with cooked carrots by the side. A sheepish expression was on the face of the red stallion, clearly due to the lack of actual cooking involved in the meal, especially since he used it as an excuse to avoid playing chess. Nonetheless, Wesker gratefully accepted the dish as he realised just how ravenous he truly was. Applebloom was told to go to bed around half an hour after the dish was finished, the filly complying reluctantly as she slowly trooped up the stairs. After a couple more hours of amicable conversation, Applejack and Big Macintosh also departed to their places of rest, leaving Wesker alone to sleep on the sofa.

Drifting off into an easy sleep, the blond former scientist 'awoke' to find himself in a dream landscape of a place he recognised incredibly well. Dark was by his side once more, awaiting his analysis...

Albert Wesker and the Rebirth

Author's Note: Update frenzy! Dream/ Flashback sequence is based on the REmake for GameCube. I recommend it. Also based upon the 'Rebirth' mission of Umbrella Chronicles, I know UC has a Wesker death scene but I prefer the REmake one so I just cobbled them together, Got a lot more spare time now that uni has finished... enjoy. As always, I love you for your feedback, thank you so much. :D

Dark smiled politely as Wesker took some time to digest the scene that lay before him; he chose to ignore her for the moment due to her little stunt earlier. He was in the laboratories of the Arklay mansion and was viewing the moments prior to his first death. Glancing at himself, the blond noticed that he was wearing the same STARS uniform as his doppelganger and examined it closely, feeling a wave of extremely uncharacteristic nostalgia whilst doing so.

Finally, he deemed Dark worthy of his attention, "Hello dear heart, I can see why you brought me here." His words were matter-of-fact but both his tone and body language were cold, alerting Dark to a detail she had already assumed before he even spoke and she sought instantly to rectify the situation.

"I apologise for my earlier intrusion."

Wesker scoffed and swiftly ran a hand through his hair in an attempt to cool his belligerence, "the word intrusion implies that your forcible entry into my mind was a minor transgression." He summoned all his seemingly infinite willpower to keep his cool, "I will not be made a fool of, Miss Dark. Do not dare attempt to undermine our agreement or you will regret it; you said you wished to learn of me... you are learning now: I am not some puppet to be manipulated and controlled, if you assume that I am then clearly you have made a heinous mistake in attempting to gain my trust."

"I understand Albert Wesker but you must also understand that I have a history of betrayal behind me. Call me paranoid or irrational but I cannot allow another to use me for their own means."

He cocked his head to the side in mild contemplation, "I do not wish to be your enemy, dear heart. The things you have said and the way you conduct yourself suggests to me that we could be stalwart allies. I will overlook your indiscretion this once, ensure it does not repeat itself or we shall fall out."

She bowed her head lightly, "Of course Albert Wesker." Dark's eyes darted to the rapidly typing form of Wesker's past self before returning to the man himself, seeking some form of clarification.

Wesker let out a protracted sigh and offered his smoky acquaintance a light smirk, "What exactly would you like to know?"

"Everything."

"Wouldn't we all, dear heart? Can you narrow it down?"

She let out a tinkling laugh before reassessing her answer, "How will this memory be important?"

Before he could even answer, the door swung open, revealing a far younger Chris Redfield wearing an incredibly familiar expression of fierce determination, blood spattered upon his midriff. Unfortunately, it was from the unnatural BOWs he had encountered within the depths of the mansion, as opposed to his own. The first word he spoke was also expected, "Wesker!"

The real Wesker indicated lazily towards his former subordinate, looking in Dark's direction as he did so. "That is Chris Redfield."

Once more, the blond was treated to the bizarre experience of witnessing his own memories playing out in front of him as 'he' replied, "So you've come... Chris you make me proud but then, you are one of my men." Dream Wesker continued typing, not paying attention to the green-clad STARS sharpshooter.

This inattention clearly caused Redfield to become complacent as he replied sarcastically with his gun still holstered, "Thanks."

With deftness, speed and precision, Wesker instantly turned and struck Chris with the back of his hand before following up the blow with two kicks in quick succession to the midriff and face of the brunette which resulted in Redfield falling to the floor, an opportunity Wesker rapidly seized upon by pointing his gun at his fallen comrade's face.

Outrage crossed the surprised features of Chris' face. "Since when, Wesker?"

The STARS captain remained implacable, only arching an eyebrow as he replied, "I'm afraid I don't know you're talking about."

Rage flared up within Chris, "Since when have they been slipping you a pay check?"

Dark turned to Wesker in bemusement but the real entity merely shook his head, raised a finger to his lips and indicated for her to continue watching. There was a momentary pause and a small smirk appeared on the blond's face as he made a realisation and a glass of white wine appeared in his hand, causing Dark to laugh out loud.

His clone dismissed Chris' accusation, "I think you're a bit confused." His face was an unreadable mask, "I've always been with Umbrella, STARS were Umbrella's..." He paused, a small, conceited smile crossing his lips, "No, rather my little piggies." Chris gasped as Wesker explained his plans. An angry attempt to seize the gun pointed at him was easily thwarted by the scientist as he finally came to the crux of his dialogue, "Time for show and tell."

Despite the outwardly calm facade his double appeared to maintain, Wesker remembered that his entire being had vibrated with tension at this point; though he was almost certain his plan would be a total success, there was always the chance that he would not awake from the planned self-sacrifice and that possibility had definitely been present in his mind at the time. He ordered Chris to stand up before pressing the final button which would ensure the release of the Tyrant. Bubbles issued within enormous test tube which contained the monstrous creation as the fluid slowly drained from the glass case.

"The ultimate life form: Tyrant." Wesker heard himself speak those words and smirked at his own naivety. He supposed that he never could have known that he himself would become the true 'ultimate life form' after his resurrection.

A mocking laugh issued from an incredulous Chris, instantly wiping the smile off Wesker's face, "Wesker... You've become senile!"

The thought that arose in his mind was almost identical to the words that his doppelganger articulated as the latter stood before the tyrant's cage, "Chris, you'll never understand." The real Wesker took a deep breath in preparation for what he was about to see as Dark looked utterly lost in the scenario. "It's magnificent." Dark smirked and mouthed the words 'drama queen' at the tall STARS captain causing his mouth to twist in suppressed humour. In the blink of an eye, the Tyrant lunged outwards, smashing through the glass and impaling the blond upon its sharp, twisted claw before effortlessly tossing him aside. The memory warped and interweaved before dissolving entirely and leaving the pair in total blackness.

Wesker turned to his smoky companion, inexplicably seeing her outline despite the pitch darkness of both her and the surrounding scenery, "What exactly just happened, Miss Dark?"

She, however, remained totally shocked at what she had just witnessed, "You died?"

He rolled his eyes at her incredulity, "Yes, twice, I was something of a trendsetter. Now explain what has just happened."

Now it was Dark's turn to be dismissive, "Do you usually remember what happens during your periods of death?"

Wesker felt somewhat sheepish, "Ah, I see. Then we must merely wait for my awakening." At her curious look he elaborated, "A virus provided by my friend, William Birkin. I had assumed at the time that it was his expertise that had created it." A dark shadow crossed his face as the scenery slowly began to lighten and reassume its previous form, "I was wrong." He glowered at her curious look, "I will not elaborate further." She smiled cockily but indicated for him to continue, "This death was a necessary component of the big picture. I assumed I would wake up with Chris dead, the combat data of the Tyrant present and superhuman abilities aiding me in the selling of that data to one of Umbrella's profitable rivals." At her inquisitive glance, he expanded once more, "Umbrella was a sinking ship, being driven aground by foolish business practices and madmen posing as creators. I had found a way to transcend their ilk in every manner possible."

Dark watched as the background finally reformed and a blood-soaked Wesker dragged himself from the laboratory floor as warning alarms blared from every possible angle. His quick mind instantly calculated that his plan had failed and he whipped his glasses off in repressed anger before hurrying to a nearby computer and attempting to retrieve the total combat data gleaned from the night and make the best of a terrible situation. The Red Queen made herself known and she informed him of his revoked access; this unwanted revelation caused Wesker to smash easily through the glass screen mere moments before his eyes reformed themselves into their demonic status and he uttered an ominous threat, "You will regret this, my lady. That I promise." Once the pledge had been made, he sought to make his escape, using the opportunity to "take the virus for a test drive" as he put it. Wesker easily dispatched a wave of enemies that breached the lab door, remarking upon the increased speed and reflexes his new body allowed him. The escape retained a steady pattern of dispatching foes and Dark used the opportunity to tear her eyes away from the action and focus her attention upon her potential ally.

"What was crossing your mind at this point?"

Wesker remained stony faced as he gently sipped his summoned wine, "Survival. Nothing more, nothing less; I was impressed by the incredible power I possessed but it was merely a tool... a way in which to gain what I wanted, and what I wanted was to live to gain my revenge."

Their conversation was briefly interrupted by their entrance into an elevator after the Wesker of the past. Dark piped up once more, "You were that logical and calculating about your own death?"

Wesker shrugged, "It was part of a larger plan, a necessary and exceedingly important part but a mere component of a much larger entity nonetheless."

She shook her head disbelievingly, "You are a remarkable man, Albert Wesker."

He smirked, "Congratulations dear heart, it usually takes people far longer to realise that." The elevator arrived on the higher floors and all three present removed themselves from its presence. Almost instantaneously, Wesker was confronted with two foes within the memory; he unleashed a bullet directly into the skull of one chimera, ending its pathetic life in a heartbeat before hitting another with an immensely strong kick, sending it flying backwards and resulting in the beast breathing its last.

His clone laughed and then spoke as he basked in the glory of his own ability, "What amazing power!" Crimson head zombies were dispatched with similar ease as he made his way further through the creature-infested mansion which had previously been his workplace for over a decade. A series of hunters and chimeras foolishly thought him to be easy prey and rapidly found out that the opposite was in fact true. More zombies who vaguely resembled former work collegues met a similarly brutal end at his hands, he was power incarnate and the feeling was indescribable. A fact he could not, and did not wish to, verbalise to Dark. Luckily he was saved from having to break the silence by his dream self speaking aloud, "Chris... Jill... I do hope you survive long enough for us to have our tear-filled reunion." He laughed as he slaughtered his way through the creatures he had helped create, causing Dark to examine the real Wesker with an eyebrow held aloft. The blond turned to face her with an arrogant smile upon his face and she waved a hand dismissively and continued watching the massacre.

At that moment, there was a clanking of chains and the scraping of wood upon the floor. A creature as hideous as any Dark had ever witnessed materialised from around the corner, moaning and shrieking as it advanced menacingly towards Wesker. The real entity saw the question within Dark's eyes but chose to ignore it. "I will explain Lisa Trevor on another day, let us just say that I don't get along well with children and leave it at that."

His duplicate punctuated the shocked silence that followed with a surprised declaration, "You? I thought we'd disposed of you!" He fired a sequence of bullets at the thing's head and torso before striking with unstoppable force at the monstrosity's midriff. She sank to the ground and Wesker walked away slowly, "Nobody's perfect... Not even you, Lisa." He then travelled with astonishing rapidity as the countdown ticked ever close to the utter annihilation of both the mansion and the newly arisen Albert Wesker. This burst of speed allowed him to near the entrance hall with minutes remaining and he pontificated aloud upon his situation, "The hourglass is running low, better pick up the pace." As he went to advance through a nearby door, Lisa Trevor herself blocked his path and he averted his course, leaving her behind with a simple "No time to play." Dark stared on in morbid fascination at the lumbering thing that dogged Wesker's every step and laughed noisily when the STARS captain spoke to himself once more, "She must like me." As his duplicate travelled, dispatching multiple BOWs and avoiding the lethal grip of Lisa, he eventually found himself in the entrance hall itself. After a final, frenetic battle with the tentacle-clad atrocity, he was able to outmanoeuvre her with his newly gained superhuman abilities and trap her underneath a giant, glass chandelier, leaving her with some simple advice as he made good his escape, "Be a good girl and stay dead this time."

He sprinted at an inhuman pace, Dark and Wesker himself keeping pace with the doppelganger before the scene faded away and the blond was left to summarise the situation to the smoky being. He decided to dramatise it as much as possible for his own amusement, "And so I was reborn like a phoenix emerging from the flame, I no longer needed Umbrella. A new horizon stretched out before me. I had risen beyond the human race and cheated death itself, leaving nothing to oppose me." He smirked, "Any questions, dear heart? Have you learned anything important about me today?"

She returned his self-confident smile, "I have indeed, Albert Wesker. You are ruthless and utterly dedicated to the advancement of your own agenda; you were willing to give up your own life for the purpose of gaining power between the typical means of mortals and finally, you have an irrepressible flair for the dramatic... but I was already aware of that. I shall see you tomorrow night; I pray your next memory impresses me as much as this one."

Wesker let out a bark of laughter, "I aim to please, Miss Dark."

With that, the Arklay Mountains and forest disappeared and Wesker found himself upon the Apple family's sofa again... a pony once more.

Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off, Part I

Author's Note: This story will now intermingle with actual episodes of the show. I don't intend for this to become a simple rehash of stuff you've already seen. Wesker will be narrating the events from his own unique perspective... it may only be on the periphery for some of them and could even change the course of certain episodes. Fingers crossed I do it justice. Enjoy. Beta'd by the magnificent REV6Pilot, of course. :D

Wesker had never really been a 'morning person'. There were incontrovertible facts in life and one such fact was that the blond had always been a 'night person', as close to nocturnal without being biologically so. Regardless, he had often been forced to awaken early due to endless work calling and he realised he could not maintain the ruse of being the captain of S.T.A.R.S. if he slunk around the city at night, so he had reinvented himself as someone who was early to rise and early to lie down. Thankfully, he had escaped this tiresome routine through his death and rebirth, not needing sleep much at all, allowing him to harness the extra hours into working through the nights, grabbing the hours of rest his ambition allowed him to.

Unfortunately for both his tastes and his comfort, farm life meant that he would have to once more adopt an annoyingly regular sleeping pattern, minimising his productivity and generally causing him to loathe the world in general... more so than usual.

Dragging himself from his impromptu bed, the stallion glanced out of the window to ascertain what the world was going to throw at him today. He was unsurprised to see yet another gloriously sunny day, with birds chirping in the distance and the generally idyllic scene making him want to release another strain of Uroboros just to disrupt the irritatingly peaceful nature of Equestria.

Only you could say 'irritatingly peaceful' like it's a normal thing to say, Al.

He was a firm believer in adversity strengthening an individual's resolve and clarity of purpose. A place like this only encouraged sloth, coddled the weak and catered to the simple-minded. Wesker did not seek out meaningless challenges. He merely felt that life itself was a struggle, and the true strength of a character's willpower could be ascertained through trials and tribulations. Equestria offered neither and therefore created individuals like Rainbow Dash, for instance.

Jeez, you're such a bitch, Al.

The term 'realist' was preferable in the former scientist's tastes.

He made himself a quick sandwich and dragged himself outside. Applejack was there to greet him, watching amusedly as he rapidly devoured the consumable in order to allow himself to speak. "A pleasure to see you, Miss Applejack... is there any work which must be finished at this ungodly hour?

She snorted in response. "Sheesh, y'all really are a city pony. I've been up for hours; you just got outta bed late and now you're pretendin' like you just achieved somethin'."

Wesker waited patiently for the end of her diatribe, dismissing the notion of getting out of bed 'late' – it was only eight 'o'clock in the morning. "Indeed. Is there any work to be done? I am supposed to be seeing Nurse Redheart today."

She snickered lightly. "Leavin' a trail of broken hearts, huh Al?"

He let out a long-suffering sigh and rolled his eyes. "Possibly... or I am going to receive medical care. Considering the fact I was in hospital yesterday, I would suggest the latter is far more probable."

A knowing smirk was the orange pony's only answer; how exacerbating. Birkin had been exactly the same, unwilling or unable to accept that he had little to no interest in romantic pursuits.

Indeed, I am sure you remember what happened the last time you indulged in such idle fancies, Albert...

The blond stallion had to repress an atypical full-body shudder at the memories that evoked and swiftly allowed Applejack to divert his attention as she gave an actual reply to his earlier enquiry, "Nah, you're free to woo the nurse all ya want, me and Big Macintosh got it covered."

As though summoned by his name, the red stallion rounded the corner of the farmhouse, pulling a colossal cartload of freshly picked apples. He gave a cursory nod to Wesker and an inquisitive look at Applejack, which spurred the blond mare into action. "Right, we're gonna take these to the barn, see ya later Al."

He returned the farewell and trudged off towards the library. Twilight still had his books, and he also had the second meeting with Nurse Redheart to contend with. Assumptions were dangerous little things, but if he were to make one, then he would guess that she would simply be testing the capabilities of his new body.

Huh, sounds dirty. Maybe Applejack was onto something Al?

It was like having a tiny William Birkin behind his frontal lobe; Wesker wasn't sure whether it was nostalgically bearable or incredibly infuriating. Either way, the little voice's quip was discarded from his thought process and he set off towards his errant saddlebag and the always enjoyable company of Miss Sparkle.

Will would probably have made some sort of crude joke involving genitalia at this point. I won't. Sorry to disappoint, Al.

Ignored. A thousand times ignored.

You're no fun.

With only the chattering of Joy to keep him company on the relatively long walk to the Ponyville library, it was with no small amount of relief that he finally arrived at the logic defying structure and banged – a touch too enthusiastically, he admitted – on the wooden door. The inanimate victim of his boisterous knocking opened to reveal Twilight Sparkle herself, rather than her dragon assistant. He gave the purple unicorn a thin smile.

Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis.

"Gah!"

Twilight gave the blond a baffled look. "Are you okay Albert? Did I startle you?"

Wesker ran a hoof through his mane, feeling both mortified and rather glad that she had provided a pre-packaged excuse for him. "Yes, Miss Sparkle. My mind was elsewhere..." He smirked faintly, "Be grateful that it was not a repeat of the infamous balloon incident."

She laughed and waved him inside. "True, though at least you looked surprised rather than bloodthirsty."

Grimacing as soon as the mare's back was turned, he decided to do something he promised himself that he would never do...

Barter with the voices. Joy. Enough.

Fine, I won't do it again, Al... It was funny though.

No comment.

Twilight turned to face him once he had stepped inside. "I'm guessing you're here for the books you left behind, yes?"

Pre-emptive reasoning? His respect for the lavender unicorn grew exponentially; she was truly unique amongst the other ponies he had met in this backwards village. "Quite. I have found myself somewhat careless recently. My thanks for safeguarding them."

She smiled. "Of course, Albert. Even if you weren't my friend, I couldn't allow books to be damaged." Giggling lightly at her own joke, she slowly paced towards Wesker's saddlebag, unaware of the brief but sizeable reaction the blond had experienced upon hearing the word 'friend'. "What have you got planned for today, Albert?"

He shrugged off his surprise and indolently traced her footsteps, stopping right outside of what he would consider to be her 'personal space'. "I have an appointment with Miss Redheart to attend, but besides that, the rest of the day is my own to do what I wish with it." A smirk crossed his lips as Twilight turned and levitated the saddlebag of hardbacks towards Wesker. "I believe I'm going to read."

She grinned in return. "I can't think of many better ways to spend a day, especially a beautiful one like today."

The scientist snorted with a trace of contemptuous disagreement. "I find my productivity is much increased on dark, rainy nights. The sunshine just encourages me to be idle."

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "You? Idle? I don't think so."

He gave the slightest hint of a smile. "More idle than usual then, dear heart." Hefting the heavy saddlebag to ensure its weight was evenly distributed, he set off. "Goodbye, Miss Sparkle, I hope to see you soon."

She beamed and waved. "Same applies, Albert."

The door was shut with a purple cloud of magic and Wesker continued on his way towards the hospital. Before he could do that, however, he was passed by a most unusually clothed Pinkie Pie.

"I may regret asking this, Miss Pie, but why are you dressed like that?"

The hyperactive pink earth pony was wearing a pair of comedy 'swirly lens' glasses, complete with fake nose and moustache, along with a fake arrow going 'through' her head and a party popper attached firmly to her lips, the latter making a high pitched noise every time she breathed out. "Hey, Ally. What's going down in Hoovetown?"

Mentally shaking himself, he valiantly attempted to maintain a rational conversation. "Not much, Miss Pinkie. May I ask as to the nature of your..." He struggled to find a suitable word. "...outfit?"

She momentarily looked baffled, as though Wesker were the one profusely clad in novelty items, luckily for the blond pony's sanity she made a noise of realisation, "Oh, this stuff? I'm just going to see Rainbow Dash and these are all part of some awesome pranks I've got lined up for us to pull."

That made sense... insofar as the light pink pony with the pink mane ever made any sense. "I see... Have fun then, Miss Pinkie. Do pass on my regards to Rainbow."

"Will do Ally."

Wesker couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief as she departed. He had thought that people like Birkin and Irving had been energetic, but they had nothing on Pinkie Pie. Her diet of sugar, sugar and more sugar and the fact that she lived within a confection store both went a long way towards explaining that, though. Regardless, after a relaxing but ultimately stagnant walk through Ponyville, he found himself within touching distance of the hospital doors. Before he could actually make contact with the entrance, it burst open to reveal a beaming Nurse Redheart, who hooked a foreleg around Wesker and dragged the startled former human inside.

Before he could demand an explanation, the medical professional began chattering eagerly. "I've been so excited waiting for you to come back, especially since you can offer insight and analysis. Don't worry; I won't be keeping you long, just a few more basic tests to see just how biologically advanced you really are."

It was difficult not to preen slightly when someone referred to you as 'biologically advanced', and the fact that it was not mere flattery did nothing to dampen the smug smirk that appeared on Wesker's face. "Well, let's hope the results match your anticipation."

She nodded enthusiastically and led him back through the sterile, white corridors he had seen the day before and seated him upon the very bed that had contained him after his... incident. Then, she was all business once more. "Okay, I'll need another blood sample. Judging by the preliminary tests I've done, I'm guessing the pinprick from the last extraction has completely healed, right?"

Wesker nodded once.

"Have you experienced any differences in your health? Increased or decreased energy?"

He shook his head, causing a frenzy of scribbling in the earth pony's notebook.

"I see." She zipped over to another set of notes that she had previously made. "Hmm, I also have a theory as to one of the side-effects of your regeneration."

Wesker arched an eyebrow. "A positive side effect, I hope?"

She smiled in response. "Of course. I believe that every time any injury accompanied by bleeding is caused to your skin, the epidermis that replaces the last layer becomes stronger and heals more rapidly each time it is replaced... with a limit, of course."

Wesker nodded slowly, holding out a foreleg. "I assume this can be demonstrated with the blood sample you need to take."

The pure white mare nodded and slowly drew a syringe's worth of blood from the stallion's limb, waiting for the tiny wound to heal as soon as the needle left him. Once the small pinprick had sealed itself up, a process which drew a great deal of fervent excitement from the nurse, she signalled for the male to observe. She tried to pierce the sharp needle through the exact area that she had previously, to no success; it was far tougher to penetrate the external layer this time.

Redheart beamed up at the biologist. "Just as I predicted, this is fantastic! Now, there are a few more things that..."

The next hour or so was just a blur of poking, stabbing and questioning for Wesker, but mercifully she recognised both his boredom and his growing irritation, and he was allowed to leave the hospital. Leaving the ghastly place, he glanced skyward and noted something entirely bizarre: Pinkie Pie was airborne in a crude flying device.

She noticed his slack-jawed attention and waved cheerily as she passed. "Hello Ally!"

It was going to be one of those days...

Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off, Part II

Author's Note: Wesker meets Gilda! Let me know what you think. Love you all for your feedback and for just being yourselves too. Beta'd by REV6Pilot.

Pinkie Pie defying the laws of gravity had surprisingly little impact upon Wesker. He had realised long ago that the mare defied the vast majority of the laws of the universe... Even more than this entire world did. Attempting to comprehend how her mind functioned was a task even he was not capable of completing. Besides, he had far more vital errands to undertake, specifically the study of Equestria as a whole.

He realised that trying to seize the Elements of Harmony directly was almost certainly doomed to failure: they were inherently geared towards those whose personalities reflected what they represented. He would have to reinvest his efforts into finding a workaround to that particular issue; fortunately, he had plenty of time to do so.

After a fair trek, he found himself within the pristine Ponyville town centre once more, and a comfortable looking bench on which he could continue his reading. Contrary to that idea, however, was a rapidly spinning Pinkie Pie heading towards the ground at an alarming rate. Once he analysed her trajectory, he was convinced she was heading straight towards him.

Oh God, you can't avoid it now Al, just try and stop her from having a horrible crash.

How?!

With your invincible body.

WHAM!

The solid contact of the hyperactive earth pony's flying device ripped the air from the blond stallion's lungs, sending him hurtling backwards. As though landing heavily upon his back wasn't enough punishment from the universe, the strength of the impact caused Pinkie to be thrown from her seat and launched directly towards him.

She didn't appear to be particularly fazed, however.

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

She landed directly on top of the stricken former scientist as he did his best to both shield himself and catch her at the same time, with the end result being a battered Albert Wesker breathing heavily as a surprisingly composed and nonchalant Pinkie Pie lay atop of him. She made tentative eye contact. "Hello, Ally!"

"Get off of me."

"Okie dokie lokie!"

She sprung onto her hooves, causing the blond to wheeze at the brief compression the movement caused, before he groaned and slowly hauled himself upright to join the instantly alert Pinkie Pie, "Sorry about that, Ally, are you okay?"

Wesker popped the joints in his neck. "I am alive... and that is no small feat." He gestured towards the now wrecked flying device. "Did your machine finally realise it was breaching the known laws of the universe and stop working?"

Pinkie stroked her chin thoughtfully. "No... that mean old Gilda made me crash! I can't believe a Griffon could be so mean! Even though I don't know anything about griffons... but I assumed that they wouldn't be that mean. I need to tell Twilight about this!"

With a final apology and the disposal of her crash helmet, she darted off towards the library, leaving Wesker to dust himself off and shake his head disbelievingly as he picked his saddlebag up and carefully sat himself down on his bench of choice, which now seemed like an awful decision, considering its position with relation to air disasters.

It was apparent that Pinkie Pie getting into various crashes was nothing new in Ponyville; though many ponies came to check if they were all right, none of them expressed shock of any degree that she had plunged from the sky in such an abnormal contraption. Once he had shrugged off the incident and started to read a particularly fascinating tome on the concept and nature of magic, one final pony came to see if he was still functioning. "Hey. Are you all right?"

He peeked around the corner of the book; it was an orange-eyed cyan-green unicorn mare with a sky blue mane with a sole white streak running through it. She possessed what appeared to be a harp cutie mark, but Wesker made a mental note to not examine it too closely – strangers tended to dislike intense scrutinisation of their rears. He gave the newcomer a thin smile. "Indeed, it was a good thing I was here to catch miss Pinkie. I assume this kind of thing happens often?"

"Pretty much," she chuckled lightly, "it's just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie. I mean, ponies call me quirky, but there's no use in even trying to understand her. I'm Lyra. Lyra Heartstrings. What's your name?"

Small talk. Fantastic. "My name is Albert Wesker; it's a pleasure, Miss Heartstrings."

The mare beamed in response. "Same. Don't think I've seen you in Ponyville before, Albert; when did you get here?"

He hid his desire to return to his reading as soon as possible – she was pleasant enough, and it wasn't as though he was in a tremendous hurry. "A few days ago, I awoke in Sweet Apple Acres with amnesia."

The mare clunked a hoof against her forehead. "Jeez, of course! I was at your party, I remember you catching that cake... that was amazing!"

He smiled once more, in a warmer fashion this time. "My thanks, though I must admit I wanted to save it for fairly selfish reasons: I hadn't had my slice yet."

She laughed out loud, and Wesker noted how easy she was to get along with, with no signs of the 'quirkiness' she had mentioned earlier. As the conversation flowed, however, she eventually showed a sign of her eccentricities, one which shocked Wesker. "Ah, you're reading about magic, right?"

He nodded.

"Tell me something... do you believe in humans?"

The book slipped from his grasp and landed heftily upon the ground as he sluggishly rotated to face the unicorn. "What?"

The magnitude of his reaction caused her to falter. "Well, it's just that... I was kind of wondering..."

Wesker interrupted her seamlessly, a knowing smirk on his lips to hide his surprise. "I do, miss Heartstrings. Irrevocably. Why do you ask?"

Lyra grinned joyfully in response. "I knew I'd find someone! Bon Bon always says that I shouldn't bother people by talking about fairy tales, but I always thought that somepony with an interest in magic would agree with me."

Wesker scratched a hoof across his chin as he attempted to puzzle out how such a predicament was even possible. Humans, a myth to ponyfolk? "What can you tell me about them?"

She leaned forwards, clearly eager to be discussing her favourite topic. "Apparently they existed thousands and thousands of years ago, even before Celestia. Humans used to be the number one race in Equestria, but one day they suddenly disappeared, and ponies were able to take control."

He cocked his head to the side. Something about the way she was discussing it made him highly suspicious. "I assume this isn't a widely held theory, Miss Lyra?"

The mare's ears flattened nervously against her head. "Not exactly, Albert, it's kind of... my theory."

Wesker hummed in consideration as his brain made multiple calculations and theorisations. "How exactly did you come up with this theory? What do you believe a human to be?"

She looked even more anxious as she struggled to come up with an answer. "Don't think I'm crazy..."

He smirked. "I'll try my best."

"I kind of had a dream about humans, and I knew that it was true. Ponies kind of have an idea of what they are, but most of them think they're mythological creatures. They stand on two legs and they have hands and feet. Pony historians don't think they ever existed, but they do agree that if they did, then they wouldn't have been capable of magic, because they don't have a horn."

Albert Wesker was in a world where talking ponies were the norm but humans were folklore material. He couldn't bring himself to truly accept that fact. Even his experiences in Equestria so far only went partway to convincing him he was an active participant in reality, and this bizarre coincidence made him consider that position very carefully. "That makes sense, miss Lyra, and for what it's worth, I place a great deal of faith in your theory."

She responded gratefully and informed the former police captain that she had to leave, but he was very welcome to talk whenever he wanted to.

Wesker's musings regarding the unicorn once she had left were cut short by the appearance of Pinkie Pie across the market square. She appeared distracted and upset, sipping forlornly at a milkshake. Wesker was almost certain that he wouldn't be able to comprehend her woes, even if she told him directly, therefore he didn't go meet her. He would guess that Miss Sparkle had told Pinkie something she didn't wish to hear; maybe she had told the earth pony that she should stop attempting flight.

If only...

Far outweighing the presence of Pinkie Pie, however, was the arrival of Rainbow Dash and a bizarre lion and eagle hybrid, which Wesker assumed to be Gilda. Unbeknownst to the pair of them, both Wesker and Pinkie Pie were examining them very closely indeed. Once Rainbow Dash took flight, the newly arrived Griffon strutted arrogantly around the market square, doing nothing to endear herself to the blond stallion.

Friends with Rainbow Dash, eh? What a shock that the pegasus would keep such company...

It appeared as though many of the ponies in Ponyville were too polite to stare at Gilda, despite Pinkie's claim that griffons were rarely spotted within the small town's urban zone. She sauntered over to one of the many fruit and vegetable stalls, terrifying an elderly citizen with a prank in the process, before making a snide remark to the owner and departing.

Right, this one's definitely a bitch, Al. Fire at will.

Wesker snorted internally. He didn't care enough to confront her. Besides, she only had an attitude; it wasn't any of his business if she wanted to act like a cretin. He noted Pinkie Pie speaking to herself, no doubt forming her own judgements on Gilda. Subsequently, the griffon passed both Lyra and the pony Wesker assumed to be Bon Bon, using them as a cover to steal an apple from the stall they were perusing with her long, whip-like tail.

The flare of annoyance within Wesker was quickly extinguished by the sight of Fluttershy leading some ducks and ducklings through the town centre. He caught her eye as she passed, and the pale yellow pegasus offered him a shy smile, one which he returned in his own manner.

Then she accidentally collided with a careless Gilda.

"Please excuse me..." Fluttershy, as always, was meek and apologetic despite the fault lying with the hybrid.

Rather than, as Wesker expected, at the very least begrudgingly accept the pegasus' apology, Gilda retorted sharply, "I'm walking here!"

Hit her Al, hit her hit her hit her.

He sighed at Joy, but nevertheless, he stood up and moved closer to the scene until he was only a few feet away.

Fluttershy once more attempted to stammer out an apology, unsuccessfully, but was rudely and mockingly dismissed the griffon. "Why don't you just watch where you're going, doofus?"

She was advancing rapidly towards the mortified and teary-eyed pegasus as Wesker tracked alongside the pair, until finally he could allow it no longer. "Is there a problem here?"

He lowered his eyewear in order to deliver a glare which contained the contempt this tormenter warranted. The ice in the pony's voice was palpable.

Gilda halted in her tracks and turned away from a noticeably relieved Fluttershy to square up to her challenger. "Maybe. But I don't see how it's your business, dweeb."

Rage flared up inside Wesker. He struggled to keep it under wraps; making sure his voice contained nothing but arctic warning. "I am making it my business, then. The collision was your fault and you owe Miss Fluttershy an apology, one which she is far too good natured to wring out of you like you deserve."

He paused as his lip curled upwards, as if to exhibit predatory fangs that could very well be imagined in his gums. "I have no such qualms."

The griffon took a step forward once again, in a misguided attempt to intimidate the former Umbrella scientist. She was mildly surprised when he stood firm and stared fiercely into her eyes. After a few tense moments, she waved a dismissive claw in his direction. "Whatever, all these lame ponies are driving me buggy. I gotta bail." With that and a final furious glare at her opponent, her wings spread and she soared into the air.

Pinkie walked over towards where both a boiling Wesker and a shaking Fluttershy stood, seething with righteous indignation. "I can't believe her! She's a grump and a thief and a bully! The worst kind of mean meanie-pants there is!"

The stallion nodded in agreement as he angrily watched the rapidly disappearing figure melt into the skyline.

"This calls for extreme measures... Pinkie Pie style!"

Wesker furrowed his brow. He had only known the pink earth pony for a few days, but he had an idea of what form these 'extreme measures' would take. "Allow me a single guess... a party?"

Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off, Part III

Author's Note: Sorry for the massive delay guys, have been pretty ill recently but I was still probably well enough to write a couple of chapters so boo to me. I suck. But I will start making it up to you starting with this much-anticipated (I hope) chapter. Enjoy. :D Beta'd by REV6Pilot

Wesker only really had one priority when it came to this party: no murder.

Ordinarily that wouldn't be the goal he would set to himself for a social gathering, but something about this Gilda aggravated the former scientist to an astronomical level. She was basically Rainbow Dash to the power of infinity, with none of the pegasus' admittedly scarce but nonetheless present redeeming features.

He would appreciate it as well if he could blend seamlessly into the background and avoid any sort of incident, but he had come to learn during his time in Equestria that hoping for anything of the sort was wishful thinking at best. There was certainly no way that he was going to shy away should the griffon antagonise him, that was for sure.

She was mean to Fluttershy, Al! The nice one! I'm giving you a blank cheque for destruction; just tear her face off or something!

Unlikely. Tearing anyone's face off was what he would classify as 'an incident', not to mention 'a murder', breaking both of his steadfast rules for the get-together.

Pinkie Pie had departed at a speed approaching mach 5 in order to rapidly assemble a party for the brutish newcomer to Ponyville. Wesker assumed it was designed to make the horrible bitch 'happier', but he had little faith in the hyperactive mare's plan being a success. Well, some people were just determined to be as obstinate and unpleasant as possible.

Hmm, does that sound familiar Albert?

At least he had the good courtesy to hide his disgust in the world behind a veil of ice and feigned politeness.

Yes. You're a true hero, Albert. Congratulations.

Now he had time to kill... Pinkie had scheduled the party for around 7 in the evening, leaving Wesker with a fair few hours until he had to force himself to grace the said party with his illustrious presence. His discomfort at attending was unfortunately bettered by his fear of what might become of him should he skip a Pinkie Pie hosted party. It wouldn't have come as a total shock, had it been the case that the rambunctious mare crashed her flying device on top of him for ever doubting the magnificence of her celebrations.

The reading material re-emerged, and for a blissful couple of hours, Wesker was once more lost in the fascinating facets of magical theory as he sat comfortably upon the bench. However, the fates conspired to rob him of this peaceful interlude as he heard his name called from across the market square; luckily the voice was a friendly, familiar one.

"May I help you, Miss Applebloom?"

The filly bounded over, putting Wesker's mind faintly at ease. If the news she brought was disastrous, then she had an unusual way of conveying it. "Howdy, Mr. Wesker, Applejack sent me to bring ya back to the farm. She needs you and Big Macintosh to deliver some vegetables around Ponyville."

Wesker snorted in mild irritation. "I believe she told me there was no work to do today. But I suppose there is no rest for the wicked." He placed his tome in his satchel once more and indicated lazily for the red-maned pony to lead the way.

Applebloom nodded sagely in response. "Well, I think the orders took her kinda by surprise. She wasn't expecting any for today, and ponies usually come and collect them for themselves."

The blond stallion scowled. "Then why aren't they doing so?"

She shrugged. "Busy, I guess."

With that satisfactory but slightly rankling answer, they traveled back to Sweet Apple Acres. Despite being fond of the filly in the sense that he wished no specific harm upon her, he made no real effort to engage in conversation with Applebloom, replying only when her own boredom was too overwhelming for her to bear and not blurt out something for him to respond to.

Frankly, his mind was almost entirely wrapped up in the book he had been reading until recently, and having the tantalising prospect of being able to read it until the party came around ripped away from him was somewhat aggravating.

Finally, he arrived at the farmhouse where Big Macintosh was waiting for him to assist in the delivery of a rather substantial load of celery and sweetcorn. Two cartloads of the simple vegetables were present, one of which was already hooked up to the large red stallion. Wesker made the rather simple deduction that he was supposed to drag the remaining farm cart, tethering himself to the weighty object without being prompted. Big Macintosh nodded approvingly as the pair set off back towards Ponyville, Applebloom waving a fond farewell before darting inside.

As they slowly walked towards the town centre, Wesker decided to be more vocal. "So, have you heard about the welcoming party for the griffon?"

Macintosh nodded slowly. "Eeyup."

Wesker turned ever so slightly to face his companion. "I assume you're going?"

The hefty stallion frowned. "Not too sure, Mr. Wesker. I'm mighty tired and not exactly in the party mood."

A bemused expression crossed the blond's face, mixed in with a healthy dose of cynicism. "Are you saying you actually have the option to not attend one of Miss Pinkie's parties?"

Light chuckling issued forth from the red-coated pony. "Eeyup. When you've lived in Ponyville as long as I have, then you can miss a couple without Miss Pinkie breaking down your door."

"Then I am jealous of your roots in Ponyville." Wesker paused and his nose wrinkled in distaste. "I would rather not attend any party in honour of... Miss Gilda."

Big Macintosh gave the blond a long, serious look. "Not because she's a griffon, Mr. Wesker?"

He waved a hoof dismissively. "Not at all. She's just incredibly belligerent and unpleasant to be around."

The larger stallion nodded in response. "I'm thinkin' you'll be telling her this at the party." Wesker caught the twinkle in his eye before he turned away. "Tempted to come along now, just for the entertainment."

The other stallion sighed. "I wish to avoid an incident. Hopefully miss Pinkie will work her magic and we'll both be the best of friends by bedtime."

Macintosh looked sceptically at him. "Seems unlikely, Mr. Wesker."

A smirk was the blond's response. "I live in hope."

After what could only be described as an exhausting few hours, the two farm workers eventually had their respective carts of produce delivered, thanks to Big Macintosh's concise directions. A quick check of the time once the pair returned to Sweet Apple Acres revealed that it was half past six.

It was time for Wesker to travel to Sugarcube Corner and cause his incident.

Very optimistic, Al.

...have a lovely party. That's what he meant, of course.

And so it was that, with both Applejack and an increasing sense of dread tagging along, he departed Sweet Apple Acres towards Sugarcube Corner. Big Macintosh was able to forgo the festivities due to the sheer volume of work he had undertaken that day, but apparently being involved in an aeronautic disaster was not sufficient reason to miss a Pinkie Pie party for a Ponyville newcomer.

Nor was the plague, Wesker suspected.

As the pair trotted along, the confused mare turned his way. "What's this party even for, Al?"

Wesker sighed.

Good question.

"It's for one of Rainbow Dash's old friends. A griffon named Gilda."

Applejack paused. "Oh..." Her brow furrowed in thought, "Who's this Gilda I've heard nothing about?"

Wesker stroked his chin with a hoof. "It does seem unusual that Rainbow Dash has never mentioned her before."

"Ah, never mind," she shrugged. "Have you met her? What's she like?"

Be diplomatic. Be diplomatic. Be diplomatic.

"Well, I'm going to try not to kill her."

Nice.

Wesker blamed tiredness. It had been a very trying day.

Applejack blinked once, then twice in the awkward silence that followed. "Uh huh. That nice, huh?"

He shifted uncomfortably as they walked. "Perhaps Miss Gilda and I are merely conflicting personality types. I daresay that she is not the first to have run afoul of me."

"You mean you're difficult to get along with?" The orchardist mare smirked knowingly. "Well shoot, blow me down with a feather!"

He rolled his eyes and gave her a light shove. "I happen to be perfectly amicable. It's simply that some ponies try my patience."

Applejack laughed, arching an eyebrow at a smirking Wesker, who merely shifted his shades up to the bridge of his nose and shrugged.

The two finally arrived at Sugarcube Corner, where the guests were starting to pile into the venue. Side-by-side, the pair entered into the pink wonderland of pastries. Rarity came over to greet him and Applejack. He left the two mares exchanged pleasantries. A quick glance around revealed that Gilda had not yet arrived, and Wesker hoped beyond hope that the griffon was crass enough to skip her own welcoming party.

What he did see, however, was Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle conversing about something that was just beyond his aural range. No doubt they were discussing the Griffon herself, judging by the open, honest curiosity upon the lavender unicorn's face and the shy, reticent look gracing Fluttershy's... though the latter probably wore that expression every hour of the day.

Their conversation ended and the yellow pegasus tentatively approached Pinkie Pie, who was gaily welcoming the arrivals to the party. This time he was able to catch what they were saying. "Um... Pinkie Pie... About this party for Gilda... Do you really think it's a good idea?"

Sing it, Sister. You're preaching to the choir.

Shut up, Joy.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head about mean old Gilda; your Auntie Pinkie Pie's got it all taken care of."

Lovely patronising there, top notch stuff.

Missing Fluttershy's annoyed mutter about being a year older than her, the bubblegum earth pony bounced over to greet the 'star of the show'. "Gilda! I'm so honoured to throw you one of my signature Pinkie Pie parties! And I really, truly sincerely hope you feel welcome amongst all us ponyfolk!"

Were cloying sentiment a liquid, Wesker was sure the entire room would have drowned by now.

The pony stretched out a hoof to finalise the welcome. A disinterested and frankly taken aback Gilda slowly accepted the appendage, only to receive a jolt from the 'hoof buzzer'.

Ah, I see how it is, Al. Prank Gilda until she reveals her true self then gets kicked out of Ponyville. Gotta love that Pinkie.

Indeed... it was genius in its own way. No one would blame Pinkie for harmless pranks, and Gilda would almost certainly be seen as overreacting. His interference probably wasn't even necessary. Perfect.

The Griffon looked mutinous at the effects of Pinkie's hijinks, but the brief flash of anger was instantly quelled by the laughter of Rainbow Dash as she entered the room and jovially commented on the prank, forcing Gilda to begrudgingly say, "Yeah, good one, Pinkie Pie."

Rainbow Dash pointed vaguely towards Wesker, Rarity and Applejack. "Come on G, I'll introduce you to some of my other friends."

The griffon smiled with infuriating falseness. "Right behind you, Dash!"

She glanced over in Wesker's direction and turned back to have a quiet talk with the still giggling Pinkie Pie before doing a double-take and fixing a glare upon the blond stallion. Knowing that no one was watching him, Wesker allowed his anger to channel through him and his eyes to... incandesce, as it were.

Her startled, disbelieving reaction made him think that this party had a great deal of potential indeed...

Albert Wesker and Griffon the Brush-Off, Final Part

Author's Note: I'm going update crazy! (Comparatively) Bask in the glow my friends. Hope you enjoy, this is the last chapter which links in with Griffon the Brush-Off. Next will be another dream sequence (Not based on any RE game footage) then Boast Busters. You guys are amazing and I love you. Beta'd by the wonderful REV6Pilot.

Watching a flustered and disbelieving Gilda attempting to intimidate an oblivious Pinkie Pie whilst casting nervous glances in his direction ranked fairly high on the list of Wesker's favourite moments in Equestria.

His little eye-modifying stunt was still incredibly amusing to him, but he felt somewhat disquieted now. What if toying with their ability to remerge at will led to the effect remaining permanently? He checked his reflection in the window of Sugarcube Corner slightly nervously, and was relieved to make eye contact with steely blue irises. Clearly that ability would have to be rationed carefully; Wesker would hate to end up a monster amongst normal civilians again with only himself to blame.

It would be more appropriate if your exterior matched your interior, Albert.

Wouldn't it just? That wasn't the way things worked, however. Particularly with Umbrella employees... though they usually ended up being no better than the monsters they helped create.

Present company excluded. Right Albert?

This line of thought was doing nothing to improve the ex-officer's mood, so he decided to scout the room for any distractions. Luckily, he was spared the effort of having to seek them out by Applejack nudging his shoulder and whispering into his ear, "Sheesh, that Gilda sure looks nervous. You think she's shy? Lotta people to meet at once."

Wesker smirked without facing her. "Something like that, I'm sure."

She cast a sidelong glance at the smugly relaxed former scientist. "Or you have something to do with it." The mare examined him closely with more than a slight hint of suspicion. "Ya didn't tell her what y'all think of her, did ya? Trying to scare her off?"

Wesker placed a hoof across his chest in mock hurt. "Oh my wounded heart, would I ever do something so antagonistic?"

Applejack snorted, rolling her eyes, before walking away from the snickering stallion.

The key to enjoying this party seemed to lie in, gently riling the arrogant griffon without it boiling over into outright confrontation. Years of experience in letting Umbrella peons know that he hated them without actually using those actual words suggested to Wesker that he could have a great deal of fun here.

Not to mention that Miss Pinkie's plan was running at full power, making his inclusion wholly optional.

Gilda exited Pinkie Pie's company and was attempting to walk dazedly towards the various snacks that had been laid out for the occasion; Pinkie Pie zipped after her and held her tight whilst addressing the room, to the Griffon's obvious distaste. "I'd like you all to meet Gilda, a long time friend of Rainbow Dash! Let's honour her and welcome her to Ponyville!"

The hybrid gave an awkward smile that looked more like a grimace to Wesker, as friendly welcoming voices rang out through the establishment and a beaming Rainbow Dash strolled over to place an affirming hoof on the Griffon's shoulder.

The bubblegum coloured earth pony smiled warmly and indicated towards the snack table. "Please help yourself."

The shaded stallion strolled over to examine the various foodstuffs on display – and to keep a closer eye on the guest of honour. Some rather delicious looking lemon drops caught his eye, and he reached in a hoof in just as Gilda commented aloud, "Ooh, vanilla lemon drops, don't mind if I do!"

Claw met hoof in the recesses of the bowl and the griffon's head snapped up and her eyes narrowed as she realised its owner. An idea rose unbidden into Wesker's mind... What if these confections were part of another prank? They were situated a noticeable distance away from the other snacks after all...

He grinned. "My apologies, Miss Gilda. Of course the main guest has first pick." With a mocking flourish, he withdrew his limb and took a dramatic step backwards. The griffon scoffed and insolently tossed one of the candies into her mouth.

The effect was instantaneous, spectacular and every bit as wonderful as Wesker had anticipated. First her eyes began to water, then beads of sweat began to drip down her face before impressive gouts of flame issued forth from her beak. Clearly these candies had some form of latent enchantment within them that was conditioned to react to saliva.

That book wasn't wasted on you, was it Al?

Certainly not. He had devoured the knowledge within and was still eager to finish it, but that was neither here nor there.

A grinning Rainbow Dash pointed her friend towards the punch bowl and the sputtering griffon was only too willing to oblige, moving at a supersonic rate to reach the liquid relief. Once there, however, the glass she attempted to drain poured its contents down her chest and left her fuming, in more ways than one.

Pinkie Pie giggled. "Well what do you know? Pepper in the vanilla lemon drops and the punch served in a dribble glass."

Pepper, Al. Not a latent enchantment. I swear, you over-think things all the time.

But... the fire...

He shrugged off his own attempt to grapple with the logical consistencies of the situation; this was orchestrated by Pinkie Pie, after all. Wesker was just glad that most of the fundamental tenets of the universe were being adhered to.

Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash chortled. "Priceless!"

A far less amused Gilda groped for a real glass and flung its contents into her open mouth, glaring at Wesker, who was not attempting to hide his amusement. In his defence, neither were Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash, but he supposed the griffon had given up trying to marshal the earth pony and she had to accept the light-hearted mockery of her old pegasus friend. But now she was staring at Wesker, daring him to carry on with his laughter.

Bad idea, G...

Wesker smiled serenely, slowly sliding a real glass of punch off the counter and gently sipping it, "Tastes much better when you savour it, honey." He peered at her over the tops of his glasses. "Afraid I'll have to give the lemon drops a miss, though."

Wesker's taunting grin remained firmly fixed in place as the griffon struggled to repress a snarl. By casting a glance over his shoulder, the stallion was able to see Twilight Sparkle giving him a look that was somewhere between disapproving and jovial; he returned the fleeting gaze with a wide grin, turning back to his frowning rival. "I hope you're not taking me too seriously, Miss Gilda; after all, I am just a 'dweeb'. What's some light-hearted banter between friends?"

You're having far too much fun here, Al... and I love you for it!

The storm of emotions that played out upon the agitated griffon's face as she desperately attempted to restrain them was disappointingly cut short by Rainbow Dash pointing out the various gifts laid out on the far end of the room. Wesker and multiple other ponies followed in the eager female's wake as she dashed towards the presents, meaning that Twilight was able to stroll past the remorseless stallion and mutter a 'be nice!' in his ear.

He angled his head to make eye contact. "I believe you'll find my behaviour has been impeccably kind and welcoming."

The unicorn scowled as she considered this. "Fine, then be less nice!"

Snorting amusedly, the blond earth pony settled down to watch Gilda open the first of her gifts and found his merriment increasing exponentially once the present erupted with paper snakes, leaving the griffon startled and tense and reminding Wesker of a certain incident in the S.T.A.R.S. office which had occurred what felt like several lifetimes ago.

"Spitting snakes!" Applejack chuckled. "Someone pulled that prank on me last month."

Gilda rolled her eyes. "Ha ha," she responded flatly, "I bet I know who that was."

The venomous glare directed her way didn't faze Pinkie Pie. "You do?"

You know Al, she's either that oblivious or she's actually a total genius.

Wesker had the same thought; it was rather unnerving.

The griffon stepped back from the assorted offerings with a glower and looked around the room, once more making accidental eye contact with the former scientist.

It's happened too many times to be an accident. There's real chemistry here, Al.

Eurgh. Wesker had vomited at the last party he had attended at Sugarcube Corner, and if Joy made another joke like that, odds are this celebration would end similarly.

Gilda was still staring daggers at Wesker and he felt duty-bound to acknowledge it. There was no way he was simply going to ignore her. The corners of his mouth twitched as he nodded lightly in her direction, causing her scowl to deepen even further until Rainbow Dash gave her a playful tap on the shoulder. "What's up, G? You've got your own Pinkie Pie party; ponies would kill for this chance!"

Glare rapidly switched to wide-eyed surprise. "Nothin's wrong, Dash. I'm really glad to be meeting all your friends."

Griffons are really crap actors, Al.

But most ponies appear to be inherently kind and trusting, meaning that nopony would question her beyond face value. A shame, really.

Then, Rainbow Dash said the words the blond had been savagely looking forward to. "Well, let me introduce you to everypony."

She started with acquaintances, ponies Wesker had seen around Ponyville but had no name to associate them to, such as 'Berry Punch' and 'Carrot Top'. Lyra was included in the extensive sweep round of the current inhabitants of Sugarcube Corner, and Wesker nodded lightly in her direction as she was introduced.

Finally, a bored-looking Gilda was waved in the direction of Rainbow's closest friends... and him. "You already know Pinkie Pie."

A twitch on the griffon's palpebra revealed that she did indeed know the mare.

"This is Applejack, owner of Sweet Apple Acres, maker of the best darn apples in Equestria!"

The Stetson-wearing pony smiled bashfully and nodded politely at the griffon.

"Here we've got Twilight Sparkle, chief egghead of Ponyville and..."

Rainbow trailed off at the unicorn's furrowed brow, rapidly moving onto her next friend. "Rarity. She makes some awesome dresses, not that I'd ever wear them, you know, G."

Rarity's disapproving look melted away at Rainbow's apologetic smile. "Well, it's an absolute pleasure to see you, Miss Gilda. So nice to finally meet one of Rainbow Dash's old friends."

The griffon mumbled something non-committal and the cyan pegasus moved on to a cowering yellow mare. "This here's Fluttershy, she can tame any animal ever!"

The meek pegasus squeaked as Gilda frowned in recognition, her claws curling inwards involuntarily, before the former darted away to the other side of the room. Rainbow threw a sheepish look at her old friend. "She's kinda shy though."

Finally, she indicated towards him. "And this guy is Al..." It was obvious she was going to leave it at that, but the stallion's sharp, convincing look, she reluctantly continued, "...bert Wesker."

He smiled thinly. "We've met. Though I'm sure it's good to put a name to a face." He extended a hoof, "A pleasure to be introduced properly."

For a brief, glorious moment, Wesker thought that the griffon would perhaps lunge for him and give him an excuse to end her miserable existence. Sadly, it was not to be and she merely grasped his limb with her claw and pressed... fairly... hard...

Hmm, that's not really very friendly.

At least she was being subtle about it; the pressure she was exerting was certainly painful, but he wouldn't have to suffer through the embarrassment of somepony 'leaping to his defence'. Besides, it didn't quite compare to dissolving in lava or being impaled by a bio-engineered killing machine. Compared to such incident, it was actually quite relaxing.

Wesker offered a lazy grin and an arched eyebrow as the griffon tried to press down harder without revealing the extra exertion to those present, finding the situation eminently hilarious. "Well, that's a firm hoofshake you have there, Miss Gilda. I believe that means you're trustworthy."

Eventually, a visibly irritated Gilda abandoned the endeavour and released Wesker's lightly aching hoof. Luckily, those present were spared having to analyse what on earth was going on by Pinkie Pie wheeling in a monstrous baked good. "Cake time, everypony!"

"Hey!" Spike eagerly raised a claw. "Can I blow out the candles?"

Twilight smiled in good natured admonishment. "Why don't we let Gilda blow out the candles, Spike? She is the guest of honour, after all."

The so-called 'guest of honour' chose this moment to heavily elbow the baby dragon out of the way, "Exactly!"

Huh, maybe you being so much stronger than Gilda made her think that she had a point to prove, Al.

Maybe she's just a horrible bitch.

Could be that, too.

The griffon inhaled deeply before blowing, snuffing out all the candles in one breath and beaming arrogantly in the direction of the assembled ponies. As though inflamed by the heat of Wesker's veiled hatred, the candles relit themselves. A markedly less confident Gilda blew them out once more. And for the third time, the wax creations refused to stay unlit.

The griffon appeared to take the laughter of all those assembled rather personally, battling to blow out the cake's ornaments several more times, until she realised the futility.

"Relighting birthday candles, I love that prank!" Spike snickered. "What a classic."

Gilda, panting heavily, appeared less inclined to agree, but the purple lizard was spared whatever rebuke was coming his way by Pinkie Pie giggling. "Now I wonder who could've done that...?"

She might be better at this than you are, Al.

Gilda managed to avoid snarling outright at the rambunctious mare, settling instead for heavy sarcasm. "Yeah, I wonder..."

Spike rather carelessly decided to make himself the focus of attention again as he burrowed inside the cake, "Who cares? This cake is amazing!"

"Spike!" Twilight responded in shocked fashion.

Gilda looked ready to explode with rage before Rainbow Dash cooled her friend's fiery temper, and the party proceeded without incident... for around 3 seconds. With a plate of the quite delicious cake nestled firmly in his hoof, Wesker saw Gilda grab Pinkie Pie whilst others focused their attention elsewhere and drag her into cover behind the cake, so he edged closer to catch their conversation.

"I'm watching you... like a hawk!"

"Why? Can't you watch me like a griffon?"

His sudden explosion of laughter did not result in him choking to death on pink cake... but that was only through sheer luck.

Once more, the situation was rectified by another interruption, this time Applejack announcing a game of 'pin the tail on the pony'.

In fairness, Al, I don't think she can create more of a scene than you did during this game.

Rarity's eyes lit up. "Oh, my favourite game! Can I go first? Can I have the purple tail?"

Just as the fashionista reached to pick it up, the griffon swooped in and snatched, "Well, I'm the guest of honour and I'll have the purple tail!"

Rarity stared distastefully at the obnoxious guest's back as the latter strutted towards the board, before turning away and inadvertently making eye contact with Wesker, who simply offered a sympathetic smile in return. Pinkie Pie remained relentlessly upbeat. "Gilda should definitely go first! Let's get you blindfolded."

Spike duly obliged despite the player's protests and the hyperactive earth pony spun the griffon around so fast it made even Wesker dizzy. "We're spinning you around and around and then you can pin the tail on the pony!" She gently guided Gilda towards the wall. "Now just walk straight ahead and pin the tail."

"Now just walk straight ahead and pin the tail," she parroted mockingly. "Yeah right, this is another prank, isn't it? I'm going this way!"

With that bold, but utterly moronic, declaration, she strode off... in the opposite direction of her goal.

"Wait! The poster's this way."

Unfortunately for Gilda and very fortunately for Wesker's desire to see the griffon brought down several pegs, Pinkie's warning came too late. She stepped on a puddle of pink icing and slid impressively for a few metres before crashing into the door of Sugarcube Corner. As she stood groggily to her feet, the purple tail dangled loosely from her beak, looking uncannily like a purple-dyed moustache. "Uh Gilda, you pinned the tail on the wrong end."

Wesker could swear the phrase 'the straw that broke the camel's back' was designed for this very moment.

Gilda let out an enraged roar, flinging the tail into the recesses of the room, and shaking with fury as she hovered in the air. "This is your idea of a good time?! I've never met a lamer bunch of dweebs in all my life!"

Wesker smirked triumphantly as the diatribe continued.

Good work, Pinkie Pie...

"And Pinkie Pie! You! You are Queen Lame-O, with your weak little party pranks! Did you really think you could make me lose my cool?! Well Dash and I have ten times as much cool as the rest of you put together!"

Wesker was pleasantly surprised to see the pegasus in question glare angrily at her griffon friend as she went on.

"Come on, Dash, we're bailing on this pathetic scene!"

The pegasus remained perfectly still, frowning disapprovingly at Gilda, who carried on with renewed fury, "Come on Rainbow Dash, I said we're leaving!"

Rainbow took a deep breath, "You know Gilda, I was the one who set up all those 'weak pranks' at this party."

The griffon's anger dissipated momentarily as she attempted to adjust to this revelation, something she had in common with Wesker. "What?!" both said in practiced unison.

Pinkie's noise of astonishment was followed by an indignant Rainbow continuing, "So I guess I'm 'Queen Lame-O'."

Rainbow's explanation that the pranks weren't actually intended to all be for Gilda appeared to be lost on the flustered hybrid. "No way! It was Pinkie Pie; she set up this party to trip me up! To make a fool of me!"

Pinkie reeled from the accusation, "Me? I threw this party to improve your attitude! I thought a good party might turn that frown upside down!"

Huh... Didn't see this coming, Al.

Rainbow carried on from where Pinkie left off, pacing accusingly towards Gilda, "And you sure didn't need help making a fool of yourself. You know, this is not how I thought my old friends would treat my new friends. If being cool is all you care about, maybe you should find some new 'cool' friends someplace else."

Gilda went to respond angrily, but Wesker stepped forward and cut her off with a raised hoof, playing the mediator for once. "Just save what little dignity you have and leave. We've had to endure your odious presence for far longer than is pleasant."

What happened next was almost too quick for the naked eye to process.

Roaring wildly, the livid griffon lunged blindly towards Wesker with her claws outstretched. Her quarry, entirely upon reflex, lifted himself onto his hind legs and twisted elegantly to the side.

The powerful kick launched to the side of Gilda's skullwasn't hindered in the least by the humanoid martial stance not matching Wesker's now equine body shape. The hind hoof connected with a 'crack' that echoed throughout the bakery.

The stunned ponies assembled around the perfectly unconscious griffon, sharing the shocked glances directed at her with the stallion's visage.

He sought desperately for a distraction and decided he needed to create it himself. "Would anypony like some cake?"

Albert Wesker and the Awkwardness

Author's Note: To the Americans here Hoofball is soccer. At least it is in this story. :D Enjoy the chapter, I love you all. Beta'd by the fantastically patient REV6Pilot.

Albert Wesker liked to be in control, simple as that. Whether over his rivals, his emotions or the various situations he found himself in, control was something he strived for.

It was rapidly becoming apparent that this time, as a few ponies at the party dragged the prone griffon to the hospital, leaving Wesker facing the stupefied gazes of the entirety of the room, he was most certainly not in control of the circumstances.

The only exceptions to the shock enveloping what was formerly a party were Pinkie Pie, who was wearing an expression that suggested she had known what was going to happen all along, and Rainbow Dash, who was torn somewhere between intense suspicion with regards to the stallion's fighting skills and anger that he had just knocked her oldest friend unconscious.

Regardless of it all, he was more concerned that his cake gambit – predictably – failed, and he was forced to address the issue at hand. "I know that you may think the force I used was unnecessary, but it must be stated that I was acting on reflex. She attacked me."

Several of the assembled ponies nodded vaguely in half-rational agreement, lessening Wesker's fears ever so slightly. Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes and swooped down in front of the blond, a reaction which he expected. "That's the problem, Al! You knocked out a griffon in one hit! Do you know how tough griffons are?"

The former scientist momentarily forgot himself and responded with an arrogant smirk, "Not tough enough, it would seem."

He heard Twilight sigh, interjecting before the pegasus could tear him apart. "Rainbow Dash is right, Albert. There's been no pony that could take on a griffon with their bare hooves, let alone the time you needed. Ponies only won the Griffon War five hundred years ago due to numerical superiority."

Wesker shrugged nonchalantly. "Perhaps you are overestimating Gilda's capabilities."

Twilight hummed thoughtfully. "Well, from what I've read, Gilda seems to be slightly smaller than the average griffon, so perhaps that played a part in your..." she struggled for the correct phrase. "… victory."

Throwing a glare in the lavender unicorn's direction, Rainbow Dash whipped round to face the blond stallion once more. "Gilda was the wrestling champ at flight school! There's no way an egghead could have knocked her out that easily!"

Wesker's voice lowered by a few degrees as he replied, "You seem awfully eager to defend someone who was insulting your companions some minutes ago."

The slump of the cyan pegasus' ears indicated her discomfort. "I know, Al. I'm talking purely physical here. I think me and her are done after how she treated my friends here in Ponyville." She looked sad and wistful as she slowly floated downwards and pawed at the ground once she'd reached the end of her descent. "I'm not even sure I want to visit her in the hospital."

She recovered almost instantaneously from her remarkably brief slump, indignation and suspicion flaring up again, "But this doesn't make sense! I would have believed it if you'd just gotten outta the way, but how could you move fast enough to knock her out too?"

He grappled for a reasonable explanation, but was spared having to provide one by Applejack interceding. "Arguin' here in front of all these nice ponyfolk ain't helpin' matters. Whoever wants to chat to Al 'bout this here fight, go to Twilight's place and talk 'bout it private-like. The rest of us owe it to Pinkie to honour this party she's thrown!"

Twilight, Rainbow and Wesker nodded in agreement, and the three departed Sugarcube Corner after thanking Pinkie Pie and responding positively when the hyperactive earth pony told them she would save them some cake. Twilight herself apologised for not taking Pinkie's concerns about Gilda more seriously, causing Rainbow to flinch guiltily on behalf of her friend. In the cool evening air, the two mares regarded the stone-faced stallion with their own brands of suspicion – Twilight's was indicative of nothing more than open, honest, scientific curiosity at a pony besting a physiologically superior rival, while Rainbow's, on the other hoof, seemed to reveal that the athlete believed Wesker was hiding a big secret, which he technically was but would definitely not reveal to the irritating pegasus.

"So" Wesker began coolly, "your place then, miss Sparkle?"

He smirked at her sheepish grin and the blush she tried to subtly fan away. Rainbow was much less willing to smile, "Yeah, maybe we'll get some answers there."

I wouldn't bet on it, Dashy.

They walked in relative silence, but Wesker could feel the tension that was building. They had finally twigged that something wasn't right about the secret human before them. In all fairness, Rainbow Dash had come to that conclusion much earlier than he had expected anyone to do so and Twilight was intelligent enough to realise when components were amiss. He could only hope that amnesia was a good enough way of deflecting questions he didn't have any desire to answer.

I wouldn't bet on it, Al.

Shut. Up. Joy.

Haha, you're talking to the voices in your head.

For the love of...

A distraction was sorely needed, and he decided to provide it himself. "I'm not entirely sure what the pair of you expects to 'discover'; to be truthful, I am at a loss as to what just happened myself."

Twilight Sparkle grazed a hoof across her temple. "Interesting... Muscle memory perhaps? Maybe you were a royal guard for Celestia or a martial arts expert?"

"Or maybe he's hiding something..."

"Rainbow!" Twilight glared at the pegasus until the cyan mare looked somewhat apologetic for her mutterings before turning back towards the male. "For now, I just want to see the limits of your abilities."

The faintest hint of unease carved an icy trail along Wesker's spine. "How exactly will you do that, Miss Sparkle?"

Silence met his question and his anxiety increased tenfold, the distraction of arriving at Twilight's home serving only to divert his attention for the briefest of moments. He began to concoct imaginary scenarios within his mind about how his body's improved attributes would be tested. None seemed particularly appealing. His dark thoughts certainly weren't alleviated when the three of them descended into the purple unicorn's poorly-lit basement.

Huh, I suppose they could all be part of a sadomasochistic, cannibal cult, Al...

Not helping. At all.

Twilight reached out with her magic and flicked the light switch, presenting Wesker with a bizarre contraption which looked suspiciously like...

"Well, Miss Sparkle, I didn't take you for that kind of mare. I assume the whips are hidden in the corner?"

An explosion of laughter from Rainbow Dash drowned out any stuttered explanations the furiously blushing unicorn could provide.

After a good while, the chuckles of the heartily-amused pegasus subsided, and as she silently wiped tears away from her eyes, Twilight was able to explain. "I know it looks strange, but it's actually a machine designed to measure the force a pony can exert, either through pulling," she indicated towards the harness which had led Wesker to his half-joking conclusion, "or physical contact," she finished, flicking a hoof in the direction of the foam covered pads adorning the side of the mechanical colossus.

The majority of the space within the basement was filled with this... thing. Wesker was compelled to ask one single question. "Why?"

Twilight's brow furrowed. "What do you mean, Albert?"

A look of disbelief crossed his features and it felt, for a moment, as though he was not addressing either of the mares in the room. "Why on earth would you have a contraption for measuring someone's strength? What other circumstances could conspire for you to actually require it?"

Rainbow swooped elegantly in front of the former scientist, eyes still watering from the hilarity he had provided, her suspicious mood clearly elevated no end. "I can help you there, Al. Despite my overall brilliance, we get our flanks whipped every year by the Canterlot Hoofball team."

She placed a hoof on lavender mare's shoulder. "So I asked Twilight to use her egghead-ness to help us out."

Rolling her eyes at the use of the neologism, Twilight continued where her friend left off. "So I thought it would be a good idea to take stock of everyone on the team's athletic potential and see which training methods improve them the most." She paused proudly for dramatic effect. "I made this wonderful machine myself... with a little help from Spike."

Wesker blinked owlishly. "That is... surprisingly logical. I was not expecting that."

Twilight smiled knowingly, "Why not? Because all citizens of Ponyville are crazy?"

"And," Rainbow butted in, "keep kinky harnesses in their basements in case mysterious stallions come to visit?"

Wesker snickered as, once more, Twilight valiantly attempted to defend the appearance of her invention, "It had to have something to measure the force a pony could pull! A harness is a pre-designed fit!"

Rainbow yawned loudly as the scientific unicorn carried on, annoyance creeping into her purple features.

"Sure, the machine itself looks a little more archaic than it needs to, but I think I'm allowed a little artistic license. Designing it to look like a standard piece of gym equipment wouldn't have been the same!"

"Indeed, Miss Sparkle," Wesker said as he patted her shoulder reassuringly, while Rainbow made 'crazy' motions behind the other mare's head. "So... how exactly is this equipment going to tell you anything about me?"

Partially regaining her senses, Twilight's eyes lit with scientific fervour as she hopped over towards the harness. "Simple. We'll get Rainbow to pull the harness and hit a couple of targets, and after we have the results for her, you'll do the same. Since she's pretty athletic..."

A noise of indignation issued forth from the pony with the multi-coloured mane.

"I mean, since she's very, very athletic, her results should be about the same as yours." She hummed thoughtfully, "Of course, you are an earth pony and she's a pegasus, so discrepancies are to be expected, but I know roughly what the average earth pony can do. I've actually been thinking that I can use this machine after the hoofball match to see how the different types of ponies measure up to each other physically."

Wesker used the brief pause in this insane situation to take stock of both Twilight and Rainbow Dash. If he had to guess, he would say that ponies in general were between four and five feet, judging mainly by his own current stature. The two mares before him fit this theory neatly, but a single enquiry from Twilight made him realise his own cluelessness. "How much do you weigh, Albert?"

"I..." Well, he used to weigh 198 pounds, but that when he was a human male over six feet tall. He had absolutely no idea. "... I don't know, Miss Sparkle."

"Ah, no problem, Albert, we'll leave Rainbow to hook herself up and get you weighed. She's already told me her weight, so we'll be judging her strength compared to that, same as you."

As he shuffled around the cumbersome machine and onto the set of convenient scales stuffed neatly into the corner, he made eye contact with Twilight over the rims of his shades. "What exactly are these tests supposed to prove, dear heart?"

"Well..." Once more, her eyes glossed over faintly and Wesker braced himself for another lecture. "Having seen you in action against Gilda, I wonder whether your muscle structure and athletic ability is indicative of a new species of pony."

Wesker blanched. "What?"

"Think about it, Albert. Perhaps your memories were wiped for a reason; you could be the result of meticulous bio-engineering. I had my suspicions when you saved that cake, but besting a griffon in hoof-to-claw combat planted the idea firmly in my mind."

Wesker's mind struggled to process the concept. "What?"

Twilight arched an eyebrow at the stallion, ignoring the figure showing on the electronic scales under her nose. "Do you have any idea how quickly you moved to catch that cake?"

Wesker shook his head.

"Everyone else was watching the cake, but I was watching you. I've never seen anypony move that fast in my life, not even Rainbow. You being... different is the only explanation that makes sense."

Damn it. This was going from bad to worse, and to top it off, the situation was not under his control and definitely not going to resolve itself any time soon. He chanced a glance downwards at the recording of his weight.

Huh, 198 pounds. What are the chances, Al?