Chapter 10:

Who ya Gonna Call?

(Takes place during 'Boast Busters')

"It's really quite simple Omnius," Twilight said for the fourteenth time. "All you have to do is focus your thoughts on what you want to accomplish, and you'll be doing magic in no time!"

I was glaring at a plate that was sitting in front of me, as I tried to use magic to levitate it off of the table. A navy blue glow encompassed it, and the plate started vibrating slightly. Beads of sweat started to form on my head, and I snarled through clenched teeth, "Come on…Come on!"

The plate floated a few inches into the air, and I felt a brief flash of triumph…right before said plate then dropped to the ground, somehow managing to miss the table entirely, where it shattered into tiny pieces.

"Well, at least this time you managed to levitate it!" Twilight said encouragingly. I sighed, and grabbed a broom and dustpan with my teeth. It was conveniently placed near the door, since this was the seventeenth plate I'd broken…that day. I started to sweep up the broken bits, when the broom was suddenly snatched out of my mouth.

"Ah! No using your teeth!" Twilight chided. "If you want to learn how to use magic, you have to learn how to use it like it's something you have to depend on!"

I bit back some harsh words that had come to mind, and nodded my head. I focused on the broom, and thought to myself, "Alright. Come on! Broomstick-cadabra!"

As I focused on the broom, it lifted into the air, and started to slowly sweep up the broken bits. It moved at a snail's pace, but at least it managed to stay in the air longer than the plate did. After it managed to get the last shard into the dustpan, the broom fell to the ground.

"Great job!" Twilight said. "Now use magic to lift the dustpan."

"Yes Master Miyagi," I grumbled. "Wax on, wax off, and all that stuff."

"What?"

"Nothing." I aimed my horn at the dustpan, and it lifted into the air. I slowly brought it to the trashcan, and tried to tip it so that none of the shards would miss. Instead of that however, I accidentally made the dustpan become a mini-catapult, and launched all of the shards into the air at Spike. I yelped, and Twilight created a purple colored dome that surrounded the dragon, protecting him from the shards.

"FUCK!" I swore, my patience worn out.

"There's no need to swear like that," Twilight said calmly, her horn glowing as she picked up the pieces of the shattered plate. They neatly pieced themselves back together, and with a flash of purple light, mended themselves into one plate.

"Sorry Twilight. I'm just mad that I can't seem to do even the simplest of unicorn magic!" I let out an exasperated sigh, and rubbed my temples with my hoof. "Moreover, if it weren't for you, Spike would have been spiked!"

Twilight allowed herself a small smile, and said, "It's just levitation. It took me months before I could do what I can do now."

"Yeah, I know. I just feel… I dunno." I slumped to the ground, still rubbing my temple.

Twilight came over and sat next to me. "I think I know what's wrong with you."

I felt my eyebrow shoot up, and I said, "Then enlighten me."

"Well, you Travel, correct?"

I nodded.

"And you fight against evil on a near daily basis, right?"

I nodded again. "Twilight, I don't mean to sound rude, but can you get on with it? My head hurts enough as it is."

She blinked, before saying, "Oh, right. I forgot about the headaches that can come from learning magic." She levitated a glass of water to me, and I accepted it gratefully, slugging it down. "Anyways, to get to the point: You're used to being the one that everypony can rely on. You're used to being a super hero, and you feel frustrated that you can't do more."

I thought about it for a moment, and decided that she was right. Almost. "Well, I'm not exactly used to being a super hero, but you're right about one thing. I want to do more to help out everypony. I'm not happy with being the one who has to watch as something bad happens to their friends. If there's even a small chance of me doing something that can help others, then I'm gonna go all out on it."

I got up, and levitated the glass to the kitchen sink, depositing it gently. I sighed, and Twilight clapped her hooves together gleefully.

"What?" I asked.

"I think I just found out what your problem is!" She said, still clapping.

"What? Am I schizophrenic? Do I need to take a bath?" I sniffed my armpit, and grimaced. "I guess I do need deodorant."

"No, I mean why you have trouble doing magic!" She said, laughing.

"Well spill the beans!"

"You need to stop thinking about it!" Twilight said, levitating a basket full of tennis balls so that it was lying right next to her.

"Huh?" I wittily replied.

"Most unicorns use magic because it's a part of their daily lives! But when they're foals, they have to make sure that they think about it before they do it! That's why foals aren't as good at magic as adults are! They think of it as a separate part of them, while fully grown unicorns use it as a part of their daily lives! More specifically, the levitation that is common for almost all unicorns!"

"Dumb it down for me," I asked, my headache returning full force.

"Foals aren't used to magic! You aren't used to using magic like ours, so you have to think about it, when it should be an instinctive thought!" Twilight exclaimed, lifting a few balls into the air.

"Ooooooh. But what does that have to do with the tennis balls?" I asked, scratching my head.

"Don't think of them as 'tennis balls', think of them as…Dodge Balls," Twilight said, a mischievous smile on her face. "Spike? Want to help Omnius with his magic?"

My eyes widened, as Unicorn and Dragon both picked up a small pile of tennis balls. I gulped. "Uh, are you sure that-" A ball hit me square in the jaw, and cut off what I was about to say.

"Watch it! That nearly hit the glas-" I ducked, as another ball flew for my face. "Okay, real funny. Now cut it ou-" I jumped to the right. "Alright, now I'm getting mad!"

Five tennis balls shot out of nowhere, and my horn glowed, halting three of them in midair. The other two flew forward, but missed me. "I was in the middle of saying something!" I shouted.

I sent the balls I had caught back at them, where they were deflected harmlessly by Twilight. Spike took this opportunity to throw a few more balls my way, and I instinctively called up a panel of hexagon shaped crystal, which absorbed the force of the blows.

"Uh oh," I said, realizing what spell this was. "DUCK!"

We all hit the floor, and the panel shattered into smaller shards, and shot forward, knocking over a few books from the bookshelf. It didn't tear open anything, and I let out a sigh of relief. The books glowed, as I lifted them onto the bookshelves.

"Sorry about that," I apologized. "I didn't mean to use my Reflect spell."

"Sorry?" Twilight said enthusiastically. "That was an impressive spell! What exactly does it do?"

"Well, it does two things: One, it creates a shield that can take most attacks, and Two, absorbs the attack as kinetic energy, and sends it out in a random direction," I explained. "One of my personal favorite spells, but a little unstable."

"I'd say!" Spike said.

While he was distracted, I levitated one of the balls, and shot it at him. It bounced off of the floor, and hit him on the head.

"It's good!" I shouted, throwing my forelegs up into the air, forming the shape of a goal post. Spike then pointed up, grinning as he did so. I looked up, and saw that Twilight had levitated the entire basket of tennis balls above me.

"…Clever girl." The basket turned over, and buried me in a fuzzy yellow avalanche. "Ow."

I poked my head out of the pile, while Twilight and Spike laughed uproariously. I grinned, and said, "Two can play at this game Gandalf!" My horn glowed, and an orb of white light shot out, and hit the floor between Twilight and Spike, where it disappeared in a blinding flash.

I blinked, stunned. "Um, I didn't mean to do that. Heck, I didn't even know I COULD do that!"

Twilight looked at me with renewed interest. "It seems as if you've stumbled upon a new spell!"

"Looks like it," I said, digging myself out of the mountain of tennis balls. "Wonder what I can use it for?"

Twilight and Spike both shrugged, and I said, "Oh well. Guess it doesn't matter right now. Hey, weren't you going to practice some sort of new magic trick?"

Twilight's eyes gleamed, as she nodded happily. "That's right. Spike, would you please get the list?"

"Sure thing," Spike said, running off screen for a moment. He returned carrying a giant clipboard that had different types of magic tricks written on it, most of them already checked off. He also clutched a mirror that was roughly the same size that he was, which only raised my curiosity. What the dickens was Twilight practicing?

"So what's the newest one?" I asked, looking at the list.

"You'll see," Twilight said, smiling.

"Do all magic users have to be cryptic like that?" I groaned.

"Shush!" Twilight hissed. "I need to focus."

I shrugged, and stood off to the side. I watched, grinning, while Twilight aimed at Spike.

"Come on, Twilight, you can do it!" He encouraged.

Twilight took a deep breath to steady herself, and said, "Okay…Here goes!"

She closed her eyes, and her horn started to glow as she charged her magic. The area around Spike's mouth started to glow as well, and with a quick flash of light, a thick moustache appeared, hiding his mouth from view.

I felt my jaw drop, as Spike cheered for Twilight. "Ha ha! Ya did it! Growing magic, that's number twenty five." He marked off the spell from the list, and continued praising Twilight. "Twenty five different types of tricks and counting! And I think this is the best trick so far!"

"A spell that can grow mustaches…" I said quietly, nodding. "…BEST. SPELL. EVER!" I shouted, laughing. Twilight smiled, blushing slightly, embarrassed by the praise.

Spike turned to look at the mirror, and he started posing in front of it. "Hello, Rarity. What's that? Aw, it's nothin', just my awesome moustache."

Twilight giggled, and said apologetically, "Sorry, Romeo. As attractive and enticing as you look, it's just for practice and it's gotta go." Her horn started glowing, as she prepared to remove the mustache.

After the flash…well, SOMETHING disappeared.

"Twilight," I said in a controlled voice.

"Yes Omnius…Where did your beard go?"

I stood there, my eye twitching dangerously, as I scratched at the bald spot that was my chin. "Somepony push 'Control+Z'"

"Oops. Um, let me fix that for you," Twilight said, giggling nervously.

"Please."

XHXHXHXHXHX

After that little incident, we all figured that we could use a break from the magic (before I broke something else), so we headed into town.

"Twenty five, Twilight. Twenty five different kinds of tricks and counting," Spike said in awe. "I thought unicorns were only supposed to have a little magic that matches their special talent."

"Wait, what?" I asked at this new bit of information.

"Oh, I forgot to explain that to you!" Twilight said. "Well, unicorns can use magic, but only if it's related to their special talent. For example, Rarity's special talent involves designing clothes with lavish gems. But she needs to be able to find the gems, right?"

I nodded in understanding. "So she can use a spell that can find them. What about you though? I mean, your special talent IS magic!" I pointed at her cutie-mark, and said, "So does that mean that you can pretty much do anything?"

"Well duh!" Spike said enthusiastically. "She knows tons of magic!"

"Oh, Spike, stop. I'm sure there are lots of ponies right here in Ponyville that know just as much magic as me," Twilight said humbly.

"Ah, come on!" I said, punching her shoulder. "Spike is right! You're probably the best unicorn here!"

"You kidding?" Spike replied incredulously. "Twilight is probably the best unicorn in all of Equestria!"

Note to self: Tell Spike to stop giving the universe openings like that.

"Gangway!" a voice called out. All three of us turned to see two small unicorn foals, one short and slightly chubby while the other was tall and gangly, that were charging towards us.

"Coming through!" The skinny orange one called out, right before they plowed through us, taking Spike with them.

"I blinked, what just happened?" I called out, as we caught up to the foals. The foals then stopped suddenly, and the laws of physics sent Spike flying. I put on some more speed, and slid to the ground, catching the dragon on my back.

"Thanks," He said in a slight daze.

"No problem," I wheezed, the wind knocked out of me. "What's with Tweedledee and Tweedledoo over there?"

"That's Snips and Snails. They're friends of mine."

"Ah."

He crawled off of me, and I took a couple of breaths to make sure that my lungs were still working. I got up, and walked to where the two foals were talking enthusiastically about some sort of new unicorn that had come to town. According to them, this new unicorn was supposedly the most magical unicorn around.

"Aw, no way, that honor goes to Twilight here!" Spike said, as we rejoined the group.

She did that same blush/smile thing (I must say: D'aww), before she asked, "Where is this unicorn?"

"Hooo, she's in the town square!" Snails (or at least, the unicorn with the snail cutie-mark) said. "Come on!" He ran off towards the square, leaving me to wonder if Canadians existed in Equestria (you heard the accent too!).

"Yeah!" The shorter one, Snips, shouted, following his friend.

Twilight, Spike, and I, all glanced at each other, before following the foals.

Something tells me I'm not gonna like this.

XHXHXHXHXHX

We followed Snips and Snails to the square, where it looked like almost all of Ponyville had gathered, their collective gazes focused on a trailer/carriage thing that reminded me of a Gypsy caravan. We pushed our way to the front of the crowd, where Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie were already standing, waiting for us.

"Howdy," I said, nodding my head at them.

They nodded back at me, as a loud and arrogant voice called out, "Come one, come all! Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

As the voice spoke, the trailer unfolded itself into a stage, with purplish-blue curtains in the back. There was a huge POOF of smoke, and a light blue unicorn with lavender colored eyes, wearing a star-spangled purple hat and cape appeared.

"She loses points for not being a giant floating head," I mumbled, remembering another "Great and Powerful" wizard I had met.

The audience didn't share my opinion, and they gasped in awe.

"Watch in awe as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs the most spectacular feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!" She exclaimed dramatically. Fireworks lit up the stage, and the air was filled with the sound of heroic fanfare.

"My, my, my! What boasting!" Rarity said disdainfully. Finally, somepony else agrees with me!

"Come on, no pony's as magical as Twili-Twi…Twi—Oh!" Spike realized that he was standing next to Rarity, and he tried to compose himself. "Hey, Rarity, I, uh- Moustache!" He gasped, running off.

"Wimp," I muttered under my breath.

"There's nothing wrong with being magically talented, is there?" Twilight asked nervously, shifting on her hooves.

"Nothin' at all," Applejack said. "'Ceptin' when someone goes around showin' it off like a school filly with fancy new ribbons." She looked pointedly at Trixie, who was currently poofing up her own bouquet of flowers.

"Five bits say that she has to poof those up because nopony will give her any," I muttered. I realized that I was being a bit harsh with the insults, but for some reason, I already couldn't stand the boastful magician.

"Just because one has the ability to perform lots of magic does not make one better than the rest of us," Rarity added, holding her head high.

That answer didn't seem to make Twilight very happy, as her ears pressed against her forehead, making her look almost ashamed. I raised my eyebrow, and leaned over to her, whispering, "Hey? You a'ight there?"

"Oh, uh, I'm fine," Twilight lied. I raised my eyebrow even higher, but let the matter go.

Rainbow Dash (who, like the others, didn't hear us) then said, "Especially when ya got me around being better than the rest of us."

Applejack glared at her, and the Pegasus hastily corrected herself, saying, "Eh, I mean, yeah, uh, magic shmagic. Boo!" She glanced warily at A.J, who nodded her head.

Trixie overheard this, and she glared at our group. "Well, well, well, it seems we have some neigh" (Holy crap, she actually whinnied that part) "sayers in the audience. Who is so ignorant as to challenge the magical ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie? Do they not know that they're in the presence of the most magical unicorn in all of Equestria?"

"Pfft," Rarity said. "Just who does she think she is?"

Spike nodded in agreement. "Yeah! Since we all know that Twilight here is-" He started to say, before Twilight intervened.

"Spike! Shhh!" She said, pushing him to the side. I followed silently.

"What? What's wrong?" Spike whispered, confused.

"Yeah? Why in the name of all that's good are you all worked up?" I asked, tilting my head.

"Did you see the way they reacted to Trixie?" Twilight whispered. "I don't want anyone thinking I'm a show-off."

"Oh come off it, Twi," I said. "I doubt that anypony would think that about ya."

She shook her head, and opened her mouth to say something, but the loud sound of the fanfare cut her off. We looked over to see that Trixie was now posing triumphantly, her fireworks going off behind her.

Rainbow Dash finally lost her patience, and she flew up to the obnoxious unicorn's face, and said, "So, Great and Powerful Trixie, what makes you think you're so awesome, anyway?"

Trixie allowed a smug little grin to show itself on her face, and she answered, "Heh, why, only the Great and Powerful Trixie has magic strong enough to vanquish the dreaded URSA MAJOR!"

"Ain't that a constellation?" I asked Twilight.

"Maybe in some of the worlds that you've been to, but here in Equestria, it's also a type of beast," Twilight whispered, as a set of fireworks went off, forming the shape of an angry blue bear with a star on its forehead.

"Huh. How terrifying?" I asked, my curiosity piqued.

"I don't know much about them, but I'd guess Very. They can reach heights of up to 200 feet, and are incredibly strong," Twilight answered. A lot of ponies in the audience gasped in awe, as they imagined Trixie fighting such a dreaded monster.

"When all hope was lost, the ponies of Hoofington had no one to turn to, but the Great and Powerful Trixie stepped in, and with her awesome magic vanquished the Ursa Major and sent it back to its cave deep within the Everfree Forest!" Trixie haughtily said, her fireworks giving everypony a visual aid.

"Sa-weet!" Snips and Snails both said. They jumped in front of the stage, and started praising Trixie, while I pretended to vomit.

"That settles it!" Snips said.

"Trixie truly is the most talented, the most magical, the most awesome unicorn in Ponyville!" Snails praised.

"No, in all of Equestria!" Snips cut in.

"How do you know?" Spike yelled. "You didn't see it! And besides, Twi-"

Twilight's horn glowed again, and a zipper magically appeared on Spike's mouth, effectively shutting him up.

"Please teach me that spell!" I whispered to Twilight. "I need it for when a villain starts talking to themselves!"

Trixie laughed, and said, "It's true, my enthusiastic little admirer. Trixie is most certainly the best in Ponyville."

Silence met Trixie, and I coughed slightly.

"Don't believe The Great and Powerful Trixie?" She asked, laughing. "Well then, I hereby challenge you, Ponyvillians! Anything you can do, I can do better. Any takers? Anyone?" She called out arrogantly. "Or is Trixie destined to be the greatest equine who has ever lived!" She shouted the last part, as fireworks lit up the stage once again.

"Urge…to kill, rising," I said quietly, cracking my neck.

Spike threw himself at Twilight's hooves, and begged, "Please! She's unbearable! Ya gotta show her! Ya just gotta!"

Twilight whispered, "There's no way I'm going to use my magic now, Spike. Especially since-"

Trixie pointed, and said, "How about…YOU!"

Twilight gulped, and I nudged her. She looked at me, and I whispered, "She's pointing at A.J."

She let out a huge sigh of relief, as Applejack jumped onto the stage, saying, "That's it! I can't stand for no more of this!"

Me and Spike let out a cheer at that. "You show her A.J!" Spike shouted.

"Kick her flank into last week!"

A.J winked at us, and she turned to the boastful pony. "Can your magical powers do THIS?"

With that, she went off into a complicated rope spinning routine that would have made any cowboy insanely jealous. Applejack spun the rope, jumping through the lasso a couple of times, before she used the rope to snatch an apple off of a nearby tree. She ate the apple in one bite, while all of the ponies cheered wildly. "Top that, missy," She said, crossing her legs.

"Oh ye of little talent," Trixie said, her hat lifting away to reveal her horn. "Watch, and be amazed, at the magic of Trixie!"

Applejack's rope suddenly lifted into the air, swaying like a snake. Applejack followed the rope's hypnotic movements, not noticing that the other end of the rope had snatched an apple from the same tree that Applejack had gotten hers from.

"Applejack, watch out!" I shouted.

Too late. The rope tied itself around Applejack's hooves, hogtying her and, to add insult to injury, shoved an apple into her mouth. All of the ponies in the audience, minus her friends, laughed at the sight of this, and they cheered for the magician.

"Once again, the Great and Powerful Trixie prevails!" Trixie said.

I glared at Trixie, and hopped up onto the stage. I walked over to where Applejack was trying to get herself free, and I untied her.

"You a'ight there A.J?" I asked, pulling the apple out of her mouth.

"Yeah. Nothin' hurt but my pride," She grumbled, shaking her head as she walked off stage.

I turned to the boastful unicorn, ready to give her a piece of my mind, only to notice that Rainbow had already beaten me to the punch (or is the phrase, "beaten me to the buck" on this world?).

"There's no need to go struttin' around and showin' off like that!" The Pegasus shouted angrily.

"Oh?"

"That's my job!"

Rainbow Dash took off, spinning around a windmill's blades to help her pick up speed. She took off into the sky, crashing through a line of clouds, before she stopped, and posed right in front of the sun, casting an awesome looking shadow onto the ground. She then flew back through the clouds, gathering water droplets, before she spun around the windmill again, and to finish it, she brought herself to a halt on stage, the droplets forming a small rainbow above her.

"They don't call me 'Rainbow' and 'Dash' for nothing!" She proudly stated. The audience went wild again, and I didn't think that Trixie could top that.

I was wrong. As usual.

"When Trixie is through, the only thing they'll call you is 'Loser,'" Trixie said, her horn glowing a pink color. A beam of pink light shot out of the horn, and hit Rainbow Dash, causing the Pegasus to whirl about in a tornado created from the rainbow she had made, spinning out of control. She flew through the air, and I felt myself get dizzy just from watching her. She finally started heading towards the ground, picking up speed as she went.

My eyes widened, as I realized that if she hit the ground going as fast as she was, she might get seriously hurt. I reached over, and tore off Trixie's cape.

"You DARE to touch the Great and Powerful Trixie?" She yelled, shocked and angered.

"I'msorryI'llsendyouachecklaterthankyou!" I said in my best Jackie Chan voice, jumping off of the stage. "Rarity, help me out with this!"

I tossed one end of the cape out, and Rarity caught it with her magic, stretching it out into a makeshift trampoline. We moved to where Rainbow was gonna land, and caught her, saving her from any harm.

"Rainbow, darling, are you alright?" Rarity asked, both of us looking at our friend.

"I think I'm-urp-gonna be sick," Rainbow Dash said, her eyes still spinning.

I let out a sigh of relief, and tossed the now dirtied cape to Trixie. "Thanks," I said, giving her my best troll face. "You really helped to save a life that you endangered today."

Trixie's eyes narrowed, as she lifted the cape back onto her shoulders. "You DARE to mock the Great and Powerful-"

"And Obnoxious Trixie?" I interrupted. "Yes, yes I do."

Her horn glowed, and a small, dark cloud floated over me. I looked up, and said, "Oh Horseapples."

A lightning bolt shot out of the cloud, and hit me square between the eyes. "Ye-ouch!" I shouted, twitching a bit. The audience laughed uproariously at that, as I frantically checked to make sure that my glasses had survived…

"Oh no," I muttered sorrowfully, as I held the two halves of my glasses in my hooves. The heat from the lightning bolt had melted the plastic that held them together, and subsequently broken them, although the glass was somehow untouched. Must have had something to do with the magic I placed into them a long time ago…

I started trembling, as I realized the enormity of the situation. My glasses had literally been with me since the beginning of my Travels, and I had gotten them a few months before I had started Traveling. Losing them was almost like losing an old friend, and it nearly broke my heart. I know that they're just glasses, and that I could always get a new pair, but…It just wouldn't be the same, you know?

A faint blue glow surrounded them, as Rarity lifted them into the air. She gave me a small smile, and then put the broken halves together, mending them completely with her magic. She placed them back onto my face, and said gently, "Are you alright?"

I smiled, and said, "Never better." I glanced at Twilight, and added, "Somepony needs to teach that little Hoofdini rip-off a lesson though."

Spike nodded, and started nudging the purple unicorn. "What we need is another unicorn to challenge her. Someone with some magic of her own."

Rainbow Dash grinned. "Yeah! A unicorn to show this unicorn who's boss."

Applejack stomped the ground excitedly, looking at Twilight. "A real unicorn to unicorn tussle!"

Twilight started stammering, but was saved from having to answer by…Rarity. Oh, Ye Gods.

"Enough. Enough, all of you," She chided. "I take your hint, but Rarity is above such nonsense. Rainbow Dash and Applejack may behave like ruffians, but Rarity conducts herself with beauty, and grace."

"Please don't talk about yourself in the third person," I pleaded. "It's bad enough with Trixie doing it."

"Ooo, what's the matter?" Trixie mocked. "Afraid you'll get a hair out of place in that rat's nest you call a mane?"

Rarity then turned her furious gaze towards Trixie. "Oh, it. Is. On!" Rarity made her way to the stage, where she used her magic to rip off a swath of the curtains. "You may think you're tough with all your so-called powers, but there's more to magic than your brutish ways. A unicorn needs to be more than just muscle. A unicorn needs to have style!"

The curtains swirled around her, forming a beautiful dress that had gold trimming on it (where did the- screw it, I'm not gonna ask). Her mane had been styled into a sophisticated pile on the top of her head, finishing the look. "A unicorn is not a unicorn without grace and beauty."

Trixie grinned, as her horn started to glow.

Spike looked at me, and said confidently, "Rarity won't let Trixie get the best of her! She's strong, she's beautiful, she's-"

"In trouble," I winced, once a colored beam of energy shot out of Trixie's horn, hitting Rarity's mane. "This ain't gonna end well."

The crowd gasped, as we all beheld the monstrosity that was now Rarity's hair. I averted my eyes, and said, "Gah! Yep. Saw it coming."

I tuned out all of the words that everypony said, until Spike tapped my shoulder. I looked up, and heard Twilight say, "Who, me? I'm just your run of the mill citizen of Ponyville. No powerful magic here. I, uh... I think I hear my laundry calling. Sorry, gotta go."

"Twilight?" Spike said in a small voice.

"Hey, wait a second…She just made a Dr. Horrible reference!" I said, smiling. The smile disappeared once I heard Trixie start talking again.

"Ha! Once again, the Great and Powerful Trixie has proven herself to be the most amazing unicorn in all of Equestria. Was there ever any doubt?" She turned to walk off the stage, reveling in her victory.

I'm pretty sure that you know me well enough to know that by now…I was PISSED.

"Hey, Lame and Obnoxious Trixie!" I called out, jumping onto the stage. She turned to look at me with an amused smile.

"You again? Does The Great and Powerful Trixie need to show you her superior magic once again?" She said, laughing.

"Oh, you have superior magic? When are you gonna start showing it then?" I widened my stance, and called out, "Trixie, I hereby challenge you to a Magician's Duel!"

"A what?"

"You heard me you snob! Or do you not know what a Magician's Duel is?" I mocked, adjusting my glasses.

"Of course The Great and Powerful Trixie knows what a Magician's Duel is!" Trixie said haughtily. "She just thought that the audience should know what that is!"

"Oh sure thing." I turned to the audience, and said, "A Magician's Duel is a quick little duel between two magic users to determine which is the more powerful. Each magician brings one magic spell to the table, so to speak, and the better spell wins. Loser has to leave town, and can only return when they have become stronger."

I mentally added a prayer to the Gods and Goddesses of Good, asking them to make it so that nopony remembered me as an Earth Pony, or that would raise too many awkward questions. They must have heard me, or at least the magic that was a part of the world did, because no one said anything.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie accepts your challenge!" Trixie shouted. "When do we duel?"

I thought about it for a moment, and said, "Midnight. Oh, and to let you know what you just got yourself into…"

My horn glowed, as I shot out a massive orb of light into the sky, where it exploded in a bright wave of energy. Trixie's eyes widened, shocked that I could do something that she obviously needed fireworks to do.

"See you at midnight," I laughed, walking off stage.

XHXHXHXHXHX

A few moments later, I walked into the library, and shouted, "What have I gotten myself into?"

Twilight looked up from what she was reading, and asked, "What happened?"

I told her about the Magician's Duel that I had challenged Trixie to at midnight.

"So now, if I lose, I have to leave town until I become stronger," I finished, sighing. "I'm not gonna back out, but I barely know anything about magic! In fact, I can only levitate things, summon a small shield, and fire off little light orbs!" I banged my head against a table. "I have really got to start thinking these things through."

"Mm-hmm," Twilight nodded.

"Hey? Were you even listening to me?" I asked indignantly.

"Sorry, I was, it's just that there was something Trixie said that bothered me…"

I leaned my head over Twilight's shoulder, and looked at the book she was reading. "Are you reading about-"

"Yes, I wanted to learn more about what she was boasting about."

"Ah. Well Twilight, if you excuse me, I have to go. Gotta go get my flank kicked in a duel. See you later, I hope," I said, walking out the door just as Spike shot in. "Hey Spike."

I walked out of the library, my stomach twisting itself into knots. I needed to get something ready for the duel, but what?

"Wait a second…Crystal Reflect Spell…Light orb…telekinesis…IDEA!" I shouted gleefully. I went to the town square, laughing as I did so.

"It's good to be The Traveler!" I shouted.

XHXHXHXHXHX

I stood in the middle of the square, smiling. Trixie was inside of her trailer, and I could feel her eyes on me. Good. I wanted her to see what I was gonna do, and hopefully she would try and worm her way out of the duel.

"Okay. Time to initiate…Okay, note to self: Come up with a badass name for spell later." I focused my energy, and formed a large dome that was made of five hexagon shaped crystal panels.

My horn glowed slightly, as I lifted the dome into the sky, where it caught the light, and shimmered. An orb of light energy shot into it, and the dome exploded, fragments of crystal shooting out into every direction, each shard glowing violently.

"Now for the hard part." I magically grabbed each of the shards, and directed them into the ground, where they surrounded me in a neat circle, before disappearing, leaving the air around them sparkling.

"Wooooo!" I yelled, excited. "It worked! Watch out Trixie, 'cause you ain't got nothing on The Traveler!"

I looked over to the trailer, and grinned. "Sure you wanna risk it?"

There was a loud clattering sound, and the door burst open, revealing a distraught looking Trixie. She looked at me, and I laughed again.

"See you at midnight!"

I failed to notice the dark shadow that moved behind Trixie as I left.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

I knocked on the door of the library.

"Come in!" Twilight called out. I walked in, grinning.

"Omnius? I thought you were preparing for the Duel?" She asked, looking up from her book.

"I finished! I've got my trick all planned out, and there is no WAY Trixie can beat it," I said confidently.

"What does it do?" She asked.

"I'll show you!"

Making a significantly smaller dome, I lifted it until it sat on the ceiling of the library. With a grunt of effort, I sent an orb of light into it, and it shattered, recreating what I had just done before on a smaller scale. Twilight gasped, and then clapped.

"Omnius, that was amazing!" She said, looking at the sparkles. "What do you call it?"

"I'm still working on a name." I scratched at my beard. "Let's see…the spell leaves the air sparkling…I shoot an orb of light at it…Hey, I think I've got it!"

"What?"

I grinned, and said, "I think I'm gonna call it, 'Twilight's Sparkle!'"

"Are you sure you want to name a spell after me?" Twilight asked incredulously.

"Well sure. You're the one who's teaching me how to use magic after all," I grinned. "And it fits!"

She laughed, and said, "I suppose it does."

"Mind if I stay here while I wait for the duel? I've been meaning to do some reading anyways, and now seems like as good a time as any to do that," I asked, looking through the books.

"Go right ahead. Just put the book back when you're done," Twilight said, returning her attention to the book in front of her.

"Thanks. Hey where's Spike?" I asked, suddenly realizing that the baby dragon hadn't shown himself since I'd shown up. "He would get a kick out of that spell!"

Twilight winced, and looked sad. "We had an argument, and he went for a walk to cool himself off."

When she didn't elaborate, I shrugged, and said, "Oh well, no worries. He'll be back and then you guys can forgive each other."

She turned to look at me, and she half shouted, "I haven't done anything wrong!"

"Whoa there, I didn't say anything about that. I just said you guys can forgive each other is all," I said calmly.

"Just because I think that if I challenge Trixie that I'll lose my friends because they'll think I'm a showoff doesn't mean that I'm wrong!" She ranted, before stopping, once she realized what she'd said.

"So…you think that they'll hate me for challenging her?" I asked casually.

"Oh, no Omnius! I just meant that-"

"I know what you meant Twi. No worries though." I grabbed a book that had a picture of a stern looking unicorn with a long flowing beard on it. "They wouldn't hate you though. In fact, it technically wouldn't be showing off for you, especially since SHE challenged YOU back there."

"But you challenged her! Doesn't that mean-"

"She challenged me when she nearly hurt Rainbow Dash," I said quietly, opening the book. "All I did was make her back up her words."

I went silent, and forced myself to be immersed in the tales of a unicorn wizard known as Starswirl the Bearded. Huh. Cool name.

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

After I finished the book, I looked at a nearby clock. 11:45. Guess I better head out.

I got up, and stretched. I levitated the book back onto the shelf, and said, "Welp, thanks for letting me wait here Twi, but I need to get goin'. I've got butts to kick, and gum to chew…and I'm all out of gum."

Just as I opened the door, Spike ran in, yelling, "Twilight! You gotta come! Quick!"

"I already told you Spike, I don't want to show up Trixie!" The unicorn said stubbornly. "Besides, Omnius is already going to duel her!"

"No, you don't understand!" Spike shouted fearfully. "It's-"

Suddenly, the very library itself was shaken by the sound of an angry roar.

"Uh, is that what I think it is?" Twilight said in a small voice.

"Majorly," Spike replied.

"What?" I asked, not getting it. "Oh come on, it can't be that bad!"

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

"…That's one big mofo," I said, as we saw the Ursa destroy another cottage.

"You think?" Spike practically shouted.

In my defense, it was huge. The Ursa was a dark blue color, and speckled with pinpricks of light that reminded me of stars. The Ursa was almost as big as the town hall, and it had yellow eyes with red pupils, and- oh yeah. IT WAS ON A RAMPAGE.

All three of us charged through the mob of ponies that was currently running away from the monster, and I spotted two very familiar unicorn foals who were watching the events unfold with smiles on their faces.

I pointed them out to Twilight, and we diverted our course, and met up with them.

"What's going on?" Twilight asked them.

"We brought an Ursa to town!" Snips said proudly.

"You WHAT?" Twilight shouted.

I smacked my face with my hoof, and said tiredly, "I'm gonna need a bigger drink to deal with this."

"Don't worry," Snails said. "The Great and Powerful Trixie will vanquish it!"

We all looked at the unicorn in question, who was standing a little ways away, and she winced. "I can't!" She finally said.

"What!" The two foals said, shocked.

"What a tweest!" I added.

"Uh, I can't, I never have. No one can vanquish an Ursa Major. I just made the whole story up to make me look better," Trixie confessed in a hurried voice.

"And so the truth floweth forth," I said grimly.

The Ursa roared, angered at being ignored, and everypony in town trembled in fear. Spike nudged Twilight, and gestured at the bear. She gulped, and fearfully looked at the bear.

"Twilight, come on," I said, pushing up my glasses. "You got this."

She set her eyes in a determined look, and strode forth to meet the Ursa. Everypony watched in awe, as Twilight closed her eyes, and started preparing her spell.

I have to say, that in all of my years of Traveling, what Twilight did is still one of the most amazing things that I have ever seen in my eternal life.

What happened was this: First, the wind started blowing. A gentle breeze blew through the town, and when it hit a patch of cattails, a soft whistling lullaby could be heard. The Ursa heard the music, and a sleepy smile appeared on its face. It started swaying softly from side to side, yawing as it did so.

"Nice use of number sixteen," Spike said quietly.

Her horn's glow intensifying, she gave out another groan of effort, as she lifted the Ponyville town water tower off of its perch. Using magic (obviously) she dumped the water out of the container, and then moved it through a barn, collecting milk from some very disgruntled cows (don'cha know?).

A final strain of effort lifted the Ursa into the sky, saving Trixie from a crushing weight, where the Ursa met the tower. Grabbing its makeshift milk bottle, it sucked on it contently, as Twilight lifted the Ursa back into its home in the Everfree forest…

At least, that's what should have happened.

Instead, what happened was the Ursa made it to the edge of the forest, before a beam of black energy shot out, hitting the Ursa, and dropping it onto the ground. The Ursa's eyes snapped open, and it roared in pain. Another beam hit it, and the Ursa was slowly covered in inky black shadows.

"What?" Twilight wearily said, swaying. I ran over, and caught her.

"But…why didn't it work?" She asked, confused. "That was perfect!"

"I think I have an idea…" I said, slowly. I looked at Trixie, and said, "You shouldn't listen to him. He'll only make your life miserable."

Trixie blinked, and a voice, familiar only to me and Trixie, called out, "Use the spell! NOW!"

Trixie's eyes narrowed, and she aimed her horn at me. "I was taught this spell by the wizard…TORRENTICAN!" She shouted, her eyes glowing. A blob of pink, gelatinous looking energy shot out, and would have hit me square in the jaw, if Twilight hadn't suddenly pushed me away.

"Twilight!" I yelled, and my cry was echoed by our friends. I ran over to her, and picked her up in my hooves. Her body started shrinking, and I gulped audibly.

Oh Gods and Goddesses…no…

"Twilight?" I asked softly, holding the shrunken pony.

"Goo!" Twilight cooed, looking at me with twinkling eyes.

"I was afraid of that."

I magically levitated Twilight onto my back, and shouted, "Torrentican!"

He appeared in front of me suddenly, only in unicorn form as opposed to Pegasus form. "Hello Omnius," He said darkly.

"Torrie, undo the spell, get rid of the Ursa, and I won't kick your ass into last millennium," I snarled.

"Sean, Sean, Sean," Torrentican chided. "If you want that, all you have to do is deal with…well, I suppose you can guess."

He laughed, and teleported away, as the rest of my friends on this world galloped up to me.

"Is Twilight okay?" Applejack asked, looking at me. "And why do you have a baby on your back?"

"Twilight is the baby," I said simply.

"What? You mean that showoff did this to her!" Rainbow Dash yelled, turning her gaze to Trixie. She grinned apologetically, and Rainbow flew up to her face.

"Change her back!" She shouted.

"I can't. That unicorn that you just saw," Trixie explained in a feeble voice, "Took almost all of my power, and used it to…ulp, well, make the Ursa, erm, darker? Anyways, I used the rest of my magic to cast a Youth Spell, which was supposed to hit Omnius, but…"

"What the hay do you mean by that?" Applejack asked in confusion.

I cleared my throat, and pointed to the now rapidly growing Ursa.

"What is that?" Rarity asked fearfully.

"It's Big…" I started.

The Ursa's fur darkened, turning from blue to a dark, sickly green color.

"Bad…"

The Ursa stood up, shaking the remains of trees off of its fur.

"Baby Ursa Minor," I finished.

The Ursa Minor opened its eyes, and roared, sending all of the ponies, except for my friends (and Trixie and two certain foals), scurrying into their homes.

"Omnius, look!" A.J shouted, pointing to a wall that was ten feet thick that had suddenly lifted out of the ground.

"This is starting to look reaaaaly familiar," I said, adjusting Twilight on my back. I looked over, and saw that there was a gray cloaked pony on top of a nearby rooftop. An orb of light shot out of her hood, and hit the Ursa, causing it to panic slightly. She looked at me, and I couldn't make out anything that was underneath her hood. The mare nodded her head, and vanished.

"The Traveler of Neutrality…" I said softly.

"Who?" Applejack asked me.

"I'll explain later. Right now, I've got a boss fight I need to take care of." I galloped up the steps of the wall, and gazed at the Ursa Minor. It was now a good twenty feet taller, and it looked furious.

The Ursa roared, and boulders fired from out of nowhere, taking out a good portion of the wall I was standing on. It didn't collapse however, and I wasn't surprised when the Ursa started to slowly walk over.

"Come on! You're just a rip-off of something I've already taken down!" I shouted, summoning an orb of light. I lobbed it at the beast, where it hit it squarely on its snout. The Ursa roared, and stumbled backwards, its color lightening slightly.

"So it's gonna be like that, huh?" I dodged another boulder. "Well, bring it!" I shouted, lobbing another orb at it. It fell short however, and just harmlessly bounced off of its chest in a burst of light.

[If you want an accurate depiction of this battle, go onto youtube, and look up the final boss for Yoshi's Island. If you want to read it instead, then just ignore this, and continue on. If you do watch the video though, make sure that you come back. PLEASE!]

I jumped over to another section of wall, and lobbed another orb. This time, it hit the corrupted beast right in the kisser, and it fell back again. The Ursa looked at me with fiery hatred, and it did something I didn't expect.

It opened its mouth, and shot a FREAKING FIREBALL at me.

"Gah!" I yelped, jumping to the side again. "Twilight, you hangin' on alright?"

Baby Twilight laughed, and I said, "Right, you're a baby. You're having the time of your itty-bitty life, aren't you? Wait, why didn't I give you to A.J? Or Fluttershy? Why the hell are you up here with me!"

She just laughed again, and I had to jump, narrowly avoiding another fireball. The Ursa had managed to close half the distance now, and I was getting worried. Another orb of light flew at the creature, and hit its target, once again sending it backwards, and dispelling the corruption. The battle kept up like this for awhile, and I only got hit by a boulder once. Strangely enough though, I only tripped slightly, but Twilight floated up in a bubble, and started to cry her little lungs out.

"WAAAH, AH, WHAAAAAH!" She cried, hurting my eardrums.

"Damn it Twi, hold on!" I lobbed a small orb at the bubble, and it popped. I jumped over, and caught the crying baby, and she instantly stopped crying, and laughed again.

"You're lucky you're cute," I grumbled, landing on a small patch of wall. I jumped again, dodging another fireball.

"Damn it Torrentican!" I shouted. "This is so cliché!" I aimed a final orb of light, and hit the massive Ursa in the face, where it roared once more, before it suddenly stopped, and looked around, confused.

"You can go home now!" I called out to it. "Go home to Mama Ursa! Go on now!"

The Ursa Minor looked at me, but then turned around, and went into the Everfree forest, soon disappearing from my sight entirely.

"And don't come back," I panted, the adrenaline rush fading.

Jumping off of the nearly destroyed wall, I made my way over to where my friends and Trixie were. "What are you girls staring at?" I asked once I saw the looks on their faces. "Haven't you ever seen a parody of a famous video game battle?"

Everypony but Pinkie shook their heads, and Pinkie just giggled. "At least you didn't have to worry about those fuzzy thingies!"

I shuddered at the memory. "Don't remind me about those. I never want to see a Yoshi get high again…"

"Uh, Omnius? Shouldn't we get Twilight back to normal now?" Applejack asked, lifting Twilight off of my back.

"Right. Trixie, your magic is back now, right?" I asked, turning to look at her. She nodded, and I shouted, "CHANGE HER BACK THEN YOU BITCH!"

She winced at my voice, and looked a little scared, but as of right then, I didn't care. I was tired, Torrentican had shown himself to the ponies, and The Forever Traveler of Neutrality had had to intervene and make sure that I had a chance...Not a good day in my books.

"Darling, you don't have to yell," Rarity said. "She isn't deaf you know."

"I know. But she seems a little dense…after all, you don't normally listen to the embodiment of all that is evil, now do you?"

Everypony gasped, and Trixie stammered out, "I-I didn't know that! He just told me that he could help me beat you in our duel!"

"Oh yeah, about that…I think that by defeating the Ursa, something that you couldn't do, then that means that I, by default, win. So after you turn Twilight back to normal, leave," I said conversationally, as if we were talking about the weather.

Trixie glared at me, a hint of her old haughtiness in her eyes, but her horn glowed, and Twilight was enveloped in a sudden pink light. With a small POP sound, Twilight returned to her normal form.

"What happened?" She asked, looking around. "And where's the Ursa Minor?"

"MINOR?" Everypony but me gasped.

"Yeah. I said that earlier, didn't I?" I said, casually rubbing the dirt off of my face. "Twilight, it's a long story, but let's just say that Trixie made a minor problem, into a MAJOR problem."

Trixie glared at both me and Twilight, the pony who had upstaged her to begin with, and said in an arrogant voice, "Huh. You may have vanquished an Ursa Minor, but you will never have the amazing, show-stopping ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

With a puff of smoke, she took off, running into the distance.

"Aaaaaaaaaanyways," I said after a moment. "Just to put Twilight's mind at ease, y'all ain't mad about the magic right?"

"Whatever do you mean?" Rarity asked, confused.

Twilight blushed, and said, "Well, I know how much you all hated Trixie's showing off with her magic tricks, and I just thought-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Rainbow Dash interrupted. "Magic's got nothing to do with it. Trixie's just a loudmouth."

The other ponies agreed, and I nodded.

"So…you don't mind my magic tricks?" Twilight asked hopefully.

"Your magic is a part of who you are, sugar cube, and we like who you are. We're proud to have such a powerful, talented unicorn as our friend," Applejack said proudly.

"Okay, we got that out of the way," I said, smiling. "Now we just have to deal with a certain…problem."

I glared at the two unicorn foals who hadn't had the sense to run when the fighting started. "Mentlegen…" I said.

They both looked at the ground, and Snips said, "Uh we're sorry that we woke up the Ursa Minor."

Snails nodded, and added, "We just wanted to see some awesome magic."

"Yeah! And the way you vanquished that Ursa Minor was awesome!"

"We deserve whatever punishment you give us." The two foals were silent, as Twilight grinned mischievously.

"For starters, you can clean up this mess. And... What do you think, Spike? Should I give them number twenty five?" She said, grinning at her assistant.

"Oh, twenty five! Yes! And I think I deserve it, too," Spike said, rubbing his palms together.

"Huh?" Both foals said.

"Just shut up and take your punishment," I said wearily, sitting down.

Twilight's horn glowed, and a mustache appeared on all three of them.

"Sweeeet!" All three of them said, and we all laughed.

I yawned, and said, "I'm gonna head back to my place now. Twilight, I think you've got some reportin' to do, right?"

"Oh yes, the events of tonight will make an excellent report to send to Princess Celestia!" She said happily.

"Good. Just don't forget to add that when you cry, you can burst eardrums."

"Beg pardon?" Applejack asked, while Twilight blushed.

"Inside joke."

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

Preview of Chapter 11: I Need a Restraining Order!

"What are those…things?"

"Shadow-Stalkers. Ugh, I'm gonna need a bigger drink."

"Is drinking your solution to everything?"

"This…is my BOOMSTICK!"

XHXHXHXHXHXHX

Wazzap?

Just here to remind you that the polls are still open, and I also wanted to give a quick shout-out to Calmfacade, who came up with the name for the chapter!