Waking Nightmares

By Jonathan "KnightMysterio" Spires

Chapter Trolololololol: Engineer OP Plz Nerf

Author's Note: I'm so very sorry. The idea occurred to me, and I couldn't resist. Happy April Fools Day, everypony!

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Everfree Forest...

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Slendermane stared curiously at the spinning mechanical thing. It had never seen such a thing before, and was utterly fascinated by it.

The device seemed to be a simple metal bar with two glowing rings on it. It spun rapidly, the rings glowing, creating a glowing disk of energy that encompassed the circumference of the device. And here it was, just sitting in the middle of nowhere of the Everfree Forest.

Slendermane contemplated this. While it was an ancient entity, there were still secrets it did not know, things that it was unaware of. Perhaps this machine was one of them?

It extended several tentacles out, testing the machine's aura. It sensed no malice, no ill-intent from it. It didn't sense any intent at all, really. It wasn't being hurt by the energy the device was giving off either.

Curiouser and curiouser...

It paced around the device, its ears flicking back and forth as it regarded it. It looked around, seeing no one there, not even its minions. That annoyed it, they were supposed to be here by now.

Shaking its head, it turned its attention back to the spinning blue device. Hesitantly, it reached out with a hoof to touch the glowing energy disk...

...And disappeared in a swirl of blue sparkles.

The BLU Team and the Elements of Harmony popped their heads out of the bushes, staring at the teleporter device.

"...Ah can't believe that actually worked," Applejack said.

"It FELL FOR IT!?" Scout said, laughing.

Engineer just smirked. "Practical solutions to practical problems," he said, pulling out the device and destroying the teleporter with a push of a button. "With both Slendermane and the Maskies gone, thanks to mah little device, we can focus on... well, whatever we like."

"SO glad we got that therapist for Princess Celestia," Twilight said.

"Calling back tiny exorcist who cleared kitchen of evil probably helped too," Heavy rumbled. "Now shiny princess pony no longer possessed and evil!"

"Vhat of ze disposition of ze families?" Medic said.

"We just saved the day, Medic," Pyro said, giggling and hugging the smirking Engineer. "Well... Engie did. We can worry about that later."

Rarity sighed wistfully as she looked at Engineer, idly rubbing her cybernetic arm. "I suppose you'll want to go back then, yes?" she said. "I..."

"Before anyone says anything and gets all mopey," Pinkie Pie said, smirking, "Nothing in this chapter is canon so we can pretty much get away with anything."

"Izzat so?" Demoman said. "Excuse me lads, I need te see Miss Berry Punch about something..."

Spy and Zecora, meanwhile, had already left, giggling the whole time.

Heavy scooped up Medic and started stomping off with him.

"Heavy, my problems..."

"Chapter is non-canon. OOC behavior is allowed, and damn it, I NEED THIS," Heavy rumbled.

Medic blushed brightly. "Carry on," he said.

Scout and Pinkie Pie didn't bother running off before they started making out (neither did Sniper and Rainbow Dash), the others leaving to give them some privacy. As they left, Rarity talking to Applejack and Pyro in hushed tones about things that left both ponies blushing but very interested, Twilight came up to Engineer.

"So where did you send Slendermane and the Maskies anyway?" the alicorn asked.

Engineer shuddered. "The worst place ever..."

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The worst place ever...

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Slendermane looked around in confusion. The wreckage of the device it touched stood beneath it, and its surroundings were unfamiliar.

Bright, fluffy, smiling clouds were everywhere, adorable cloud castles filling the horizon. Rainbows lit up the sky with color, and everywhere there were cute, adorable teddy bears with adorable designs on their bellies.

Slendermane's ears folded back against its head as it slowly backed away. It felt itself bump into something and whirled, seeing Masky Pegasus with bows all tied up through its mane and tail.

GrEeTiNgS, mAsTeR! i Am So HaPpY yOu CoUlD jOiN uS! wE'rE hAvInG a TeA pArTy! Masky Pegasus said cheerfully.

Slendermane whirled, looking around at the 'tea party.' Masky Earth Pony was there, wearing a sun dress and sun hat with bright yellow flowers on it. And Masky Unicorn was cuddling a giant plush toy. And surrounding them all were more of those hideously cute teddy bear people.

One, a reddish-brown bear with a heart design on its belly, came forward and grinned at Slendermane.

"Hi! I'm Tenderheart Bear! Welcome to Care-A-Lot! Will you be my friend?"

Slendermane had no mouth. And it desperately needed to scream...

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Elsewhere...

TF2 verse...

Gray Gravel Inc...

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"HEEEEYYYYY SEXY LADY!"

Gray Mann stared as his entire robot army danced to Gangnam Style, a conga line of giant robots strutting in circles around his fortress, an Engineer bot wearing shuttered glasses manning a DJ table.

Behind him, the RED team casually leaned on their weapons and various nearby railings, smirking down at the proceedings.

"...How?" he said after a moment.

"Turns out ah'm just as good at hacking as I am at buildin' stuff," RED Engineer said, stroking his chin thoughtfully, idly tapping his wrench on his shoulder. "Broke into the source code, did a little rearrangin,' and then... well, that."

Gray fumed inwardly. "Slenderman will slay you all."

"Yeah, about that..." RED Engineer said, grinning, the others chuckling behind him. "We just got a status update from Balloonicorn, said that SlenderMANE got sent to its own personal hell. Because of the connection it had with SlenderMAN, Slendy got sent to this universe's version of that hell."

Gray's eyes widened. "So that means..."

"Y'all are fucked more than a whore in the busy season," RED Engineer said, grinning wickedly.

Gray gulped, looking around at the others as they brandished their melee weapons.

"Mommy..." he whimpered.

THE END! (no not really)