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Ooh Mama...

by Mattricole

Chapter 7: Obligatory Exposition

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"Twilight what in the world has gotten into you!?" Celestia panicked as she watched in horror as her star pupil flexed in front of her.

"Nothing baby, just a strong desire to take you on the Twi train, whoo hoo!" Twilight replied as she repeatedly pumped her hoof in the air, shaking her hips provocatively, earning a glare from her teacher.

"This must have something to do with the disturbances I've been feeling," she reasoned to herself, "why else would my prized pupil act as if she were some sexual deviant?" she said as she rubbed her chin with her hoof, "Twilight, I'll need you to explain to me what exactly is going on," she stated as she looked at her pupil, who was currently admiring herself in a nearby puddle.

"Oh yeah Twilight, I gotta say, I'm so sexy, even I would do me," she smiled at herself, before turning towards her teacher, "wait, what?" she asked with a raised eyebrow, causing Celestia to face hoof with a groan.

"I want you to explain to me what made you this way," Celestia stated once again, this time glaring at her student to grab her attention.

"Ooh, feisty, me likey," Twilight replied with a goofy grin, "alright sugar muffin, I'll do whatever you say," she replied with a sultry voice, slowly licking her lips as she gazed at her mentor.

...This is going to take awhile I see Celestia thought to herself, unfazed by her student's unwanted affection. After what felt like hours, Celestia was finally able to get Twilight to explain that earlier, Rainbow Dash had met a human, a mythological creature, and how she brought him to Twilight in order to get rid of him.

"I later found out that Johnny, that's his name, is not originally from this world," Twilight said as she entered into the ruins of her library, sifting through all the books until she came across the spell book she used earlier, "as you know, when a being from another universe crosses into another universe, small bouts of chaos happens. Nothing major, mild changes in personality being the worse case scenario. Of course, our universe is a bit...different," Twilight paused, allowing her teacher to catch up with what she was saying. It only took a second for Celestia to understand what Twilight meant.

"It's Discord you're worried about," she stated with a sigh.

"Bingo hot momma!" Twilight said with a grin, causing Celestia to groan, "Discord feeds off of chaos. The longer Johnny stays here, the more chaos Discord will consume, which will inevitably lead to his re-release," it was at this point Twilight started flipping through the pages, "when Johnny explained how Disco the demon llama sent him here to free him from his marijuana addiction with all of the corn, I knew I had no choice but to send him back, so I used this spell," she said as she magically gave Celestia the book in question, showing her the spell. However Celestia pulled the book down a bit, her eye brow raised and gave her student a questioning glance.

"Disco the demon llama?" she questioned with a tilt of her head. Twilight could only shrug her shoulders, giving her teacher an equally confused look.

"At this point, taking account for all the information I currently have, I can only assume Johnny miss heard. I think he meant that he was to free discord from his stone imprisonment with...well, I couldn't actually figure out that last bit," she rubbed her neck and chuckled, "anyway, just check out the spell I used!" Twilight insisted as she nudged the book back towards her teachers face, almost smacking her in the process.

"Oh alright," Celestia sighed to herself. Sometimes her student could be so impatient. She then attempted to read the contents of the book, however quickly gave up and gave her student a blank stare, "Twilight?"

"Yeah sexy mama?" Twilight replied as she turned away from a hoof mirror she acquired out of no where.

"How do you expect me to read this when there are drawings of some blue unicorn adorning the pages?" Celestia almost yelled out, glaring at her student for wasting precious time. Twilight however only laughed off her question, shrugging in the process.

"What can I say, that Trixie was one sexy layday!" she sang as she pumped her hoof into the air, earning another glare from Celestia.

"Twilight, need I remind you of the rush we are in?" Celestia asked calmly with a glare, trying her best not to explode in anger. After all, a princess must always keep her cool even in the most dire of situations.

"Alright alright, keep your tiara on," Twilight said as she sat down and coughed a few times, loosening her larynx for the lengthy explanation, "basically the user uses magic to seep into the mind of the target. The spell then uses the mind of the target to pinpoint what universe that target is originally from. This is the only way to find the proper universe because each universe has it's own set of laws. Like in our universe, it is impossible to survive a thousand mile drop, while in Johnny's universe, that kind of fall will cause at most a few broken bones. The spell then sends the target back to their original universe. However if the spell is done even slightly wrong, then it backfires. Because in order to use the spell the user has to mingle with the targets mind, if it goes wrong then the personality traits of the target is copied and transfered into the user."

"Metaphysical Eyes," Celestia stated with a trembling voice, "oh Twilight, you should have known better than to use such a complex spell! You're not ready!" Celestia could no longer withhold her anger as she stepped menacingly close to her student, who could only smile in anticipation.

"Ooh I like it rough!" she barked out, her small body trembling with excitement. However her words had the opposite reaction for what she was hoping for, causing Celestia to back off just a bit.

"...I'm starting to fear what this Johnny of your's is like," Celestia muttered just loud enough for Twilight to hear, shaking her head at her student's new found perverted personality.

"Oh don't worry, he's not into ponies," she waved off, causing Celestia to let out a breath she did not know she was holding in, "anyway, we should probably go and get Johnny before Discord re-awakens, "Twilight then scratched her chin with her hoof in thought, "maybe Applejack and Rarity saw Johnny? After all I'm fairly certain he flew off in that general direction," she offered, eliciting a nod from the princess. Celestia's horn suddenly glowed a faint yellow, as she teleported Twilight and herself to Sweet Apple Acres,


"So you see Johnny, you being here is a threat to all of Equestria," Celestia finished her tale, pausing to allow Johnny to mull over the new information he had been presented.

"...Sorry I didn't understand any of that, could you repeat that?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, though Celestia resisted the urge to groan and kept smiling.

"Basically I'm going to send you home before Discord get's the chance to return," she said as she charged up her magic.

"Oh but my dear Celestia," a voice from nowhere trembled around them, "I'm already hear!!!" an all to familiar voice rang out with a laugh, as Discord poofed in front of them, glaring at all those who were present. Celestia glared at the Draconequus, standing between him and her little ponies. However, Twilight chose at that time to walk up to Celestia and nudged her with her hoof.

"...Princess," Twilight began with a raised eyebrow, "instead of telling Johnny that whole story, why didn't you just simply send him back to his own world?" Twilight asked her teacher, however was unable to elicit a response, "Princess," she nudged once again with her hoof.

"...The chaos from Johnny effected my judgement," she responded quickly, not taking her eyes off of Discord.

"Wait I thought you weren't effected by--"

"The chaos did not effect me!" Celestia yelled out, finally ripping her stare from Discord and unto Twilight, who quickly backed away from an angry Celestia. Celestia for the umpteenth time that day resisted the urge to sigh. there was no way she could admit to her faithful student that she had not thought of that obvious solution.


"Let's see here," Spike said to himself as he walked through Ponyville, with a quill and paper, "I completed almost all of my chores, all I have to do is clean the library and then I can hang out with Sweetie Belle and the others," he said happily as he approached the home he and Twilight have been living in for the past 2 years, "ah, home sweet ho-" he stopped his sentence short as he stared in shock at what was before him.

To say the library was a complete mess would have been an understatement. There was several holes littering the walls of the library, each scorched with burn marks. One of their largest windows was completely shattered beyond repair. Spike continuously gasped for air as he attempted to open the front door, however, as soon as he had touched it, it quickly fell to the floor, allowing him to see the apocalypse that was awaiting inside.

The bookshelves were completely destroyed, nothing salvageable. Scorched books laid everywhere, on the floor, the stairs, the desk, even atop the kitchen counter. Spike walked through the destruction, picking up whatever he saw salvageable, and quickly dropped them, seeing as how they were few in numbers. He fell to the floor, tears welling up in his eyes, as he stared blankly at the job that lay before him.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" his voice rang out so loud that even Luna would have been impressed with.

Author's Notes:

Credit for the name of the spell goes to MisterShield, who helped me out with ideas for this chapter.

And now to wait another 2 months for the next chapter : )!!!

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