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Ooh Mama...

by Mattricole

Chapter 6: Love is in the Air

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Johnny felt as if he was in heaven. The week old doughnuts Flubberguy gave him were just as good, if not better, than his mama's week old doughnuts, and those are hard to top! He continued shoving them down his throat, until he saw Flubberguy looking at him, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape.

"...Want one?" he offered her the third time that day.

"Um, no thank you, I'm not hungry," she replied, smiling back at him. He could have sworn he heard a 'squee' when she did that. Oh well, that just meant there was more for him. He continued eating the doughnuts until there was no more, and he felt thoroughly stuffed.

"Ah," he sighed in content as he leaned back on the chair his host most graciously offered him, "thanks for the doughnuts Flubberguy,"

"Fluttershy,"

"Right, Flutterbye, what I say?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, earning a smile and a shake of the head from the yellow pegasus.

Before Fluttershy had the chance to correct Johnny, a loud knock was heard throughout the small cottage.

"Oh my, I wonder who could that be?" Fluttershy asked herself as she went to answer the door.

"If it's that little neighbor kid, make sure to slam the door in her face," Johnny said with a scowl.

"Now Johnny, that would be awfully rude," she gave a small, though unintimidating, glare at the macho man, causing him to scoff in annoyance.

"Yeah, whatever," he said as Fluttershy answered the door.

"HI FLUTTERSHY!" a loud pink pony greeted as she jumped inside the cottage, a large grin adorning her face.

"Oh, hello Pinkie Pie," Fluttershy replied with a small smile of her own as she watched her friend jumping up and down in excitement.

"Pinkie Pie?" Johnny asked with a raised eyebrow, "now where have I heard that name before?"

"Huh, what was that noise?" Pinkie asked as she peaked inside the kitchen, "*GASP* MY LOVE IT'S YOU!"

"AAAAHH!" Johnny let out a terrifyingly high pitched scream as he leaped through the window and ran off, screaming as he did so.

"COME BACK MY LOVE!" Pinkie yelled out as she leaped out the window to follow her masculine monkey, "I HAVE CANDY!"

Fluttershy could only stare in horror as she watched her savior being chased by one of her closest friends. However, her face quickly turned into a scowl, and then into a face of pure rage, eyebrows knitted together, her breathing became ragged with hate.

"I won't...let you...get away...with THIS!" she yelled out, flying out of the window to chase the pink menace with speed that would make Rainbow Dash proud.

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"Ah don't know Scootaloo," Apple Bloom said with a bit of apprehension, "ah don't think mah sister would appreshi-apreci-...like it if we cut down one of dem apple trees."

"Oh come on Apple Bloom!" Scootaloo threw her arms into the air, "how else will we get our lumberjack cutie marks?" she asked with a questioning stare.

"How is mah family gonna live if ya'll cut down our livlihood?" Apple Bloom shot back with an intense glare, causing the pegasus to back off.

"Yeah, I guess you have a point there," Scootaloo agreed, rubbing the back of her neck with a hoof.

"Did you hear that Silver Spoon?" Diamond Tiara asked her friend as they strutted into the classroom.

"As if I didn't," she said with a smirk, "lumberjacks? Really? That is so TOTALLY lame!" the two fillies laughed as they walked up to the three friends.

"Hey!" Scootaloo glared at the two fillies, "lumberjacks are NOT lame! Right Sweetie Belle?" she smirked at her friend, knowing she had her back.

"Oh, um, y-yeah?" Sweetie replied back with the biggest smile she could make.

"Oh come on! Is lumberjacking really that bad an idea!?" she yelled out in frustration, everypony just giving her a blank stare.

"If that's the best idea you could come up with," Diamond Tiara began.

"It's no wonder your still BLANK FLANKS!!!" Diamond and Silver Spoon said in unison, laughing all the while and earning a glare from the three fillies.

"Dang it Diamond, quit making fun of us!" Apple Bloom yelled as grabbed a hold of Diamond's hoof.

"Why should I?" she shook off Apple Bloom's hoof with a snort, with a small blush adorning her face from the close contact.

"'Cause if you do," Apple Bloom grabbed Diamond by the shoulders, inching her mouth towards the other's ear, "ah'll wear that outfit ya'll love so much," she said with a smirk, causing Diamond's blush to deepen, and even a little bit of drool coming out of her mouth.

"Wh-wha-what?" the pink filly managed to squeak out.

"And if yer really good," she continued, her smirk turning just a bit lustful, "maybe ah'll do that thing with mah tongue ya'll like so much," at this point Diamond Tiara was shivering with excitement, as Apple Bloom let go of her and sat back down in her seat.

"Diamond, you okay?" Silver Spoon asked, shaking her friend a little bit.

"Yes, fine indeed, come Silver Spoon, we have better things to do, ta ta," Diamond said quickly as she sat down, eagerly awaiting the end of class. Silver Spoon only nodded, glancing quickly at Apple Bloom with a raised eyebrow, and proceeded to take her seat.

"Whoa, Apple Bloom," Scootaloo began with a huge smile on her face, "what did you say to her!?"

"Yeah, seriously, I've never seen Diamond so..." she stared at said filly, still shaking in her seat, sweat pouring down her face with a nervous, almost excited, look on her face, "...what did you say?"

"Well, let's just say ah have a, silver tongue," she glanced at Diamond as she said that, causing the other to let out a silent moan.

------------------------

"But Granny ah don't wanna git married!" Applejack complained as she stood on a hastily built altar that was sitting in front of the barn. On the altar was Mayor Mare, acting as the priest of the ceremony, who was busy adjusting her hair and practicing her lines to herself. Applejack was wearing a hastily, but fabulous, made tuxedo and her handy dandy stretson hat.

"Ah want great grandchildren," her granny stubbornly replied with a firm glare.

"But what about mah happiness?" Applejack complained, pulling at the collar of her tuxedo.

"Ah want great grandchildren!" Granny Smith once again proclaimed, a bit louder than last time.

"But we're both mare's! Two mare's can't have-"

"AH WANT GREAT GRANDCHILDREN!"

"AARRRG!" Applejack threw her hoof's in the air in frustration. Sometimes there just was no reasoning with that old bag of bones.

"And that argument's invalid, why, unahcorns have dem magical horns and can procreate with dem horns of there's, trust me, ah know," Granny Smith smiled, winking at her granddaughter.

"...How do ya'll know that?" Applejack asked with a groan, shaking her head in disgust. At that moment, the song 'Here Come's the Bride' was being played by her big brother, Big McIntosh, on the bongo's. Why Rarity chose to have the song played on the bongo's was beyond her.

Rarity then exited the barn, in a beautiful, but hastily created, wedding gown. It was a white gown, that clung tightly to her torso, with beautiful frills shaped like butterfly's spiraling down to her waist, spreading out to create a thin gap, just big enough for her hind legs to be unhindered so she wouldn't trip. All four of Rarity's hoof's had on crystal shoes. She would have gone with high heels, but then she would have been taller than the 'groom'. Applejack couldn't take her eyes off of Rarity, silently cursing the veil that adorned her beautiful face.

No, NO! Applejack silently cursed to herself, ah don't wanna git married, ah DON'T WANNA GIT MARRIED! conflicted for the first time during the ceremony, Applejack watched as Rarity finally stood beside, oh so close beside her, as both turned to Mayor Mare, who grinned at the lovely couple, after all, it wasn't everyday you got to attend two of the element's of harmony's wedding, let alone replacing the priest that typically wedded the groom and bride.

"We are gathered here today," she began, until she realized the only attendee's were Granny Smith and Big McIntosh. She simply shrugged to herself, and decided to skip the formalities, "Do you, Rarity Angelica Nephestis Quadruple Kick Belle take Applejack Apple as your blushing...bride?" she asked with uncertainty, not used to lesbian lovers.

"I do," Rarity answered with no hesitation, gazing lovingly at the orange mare, causing Applejack to blush. Mayor Mare couldn't help but smile at the blushing mare.

"And do you, Applejack Apple, take Rarity Angelica Nephestis Quadruple Kick Belle as your blushing, uh, bride?"

"I, uh...uh," Applejack stuttered as she played her response like a mantra in her head, just say no, just say no, just say NO! she kept shouting in her head as she gazed at Rarity, her heart beating like a drum, "...ah do," she finally said, resolution clearly in her voice.

"Then in the power vested in me, I now pronounce you mare and...uh...mare? You may now kiss the...other bride," Mayor Mare stated, embarrassed at her poor performance, but neither mare really cared about it, all they saw was each other. Applejack slowly lifted the veil, finally revealing the face of her love.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"I've always loved you," Rarity whispered as she leaned towards Applejack.

"AAAAAHHHHH!"

"And ah love you Rarity, more than ennething in the world," Applejack leaned in, her muzzle centimeters away from Rarity's, there mouth's about to meet.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

"Okay, what in tarnation is that noi-" before Applejack could finish a large bumbling idiot crashed through the altar, causing Rarity to trip and fall into a nearby mud pit, "Rarity! Are ya'll alright!?" Applejack yelled out as she went to get Rarity out of the mud.

"COME BACK MY YELLOW HAIRED LITTLE MONKEY!"

"Wha-" before Applejack could finish Pinkie Pie slammed into her, causing the both of them to fall into the mud pit, "Pinkie, what are ya'll do-"

"HiRarityhiApplejackbyeRariybyeApplejack!" Pinkie greeted/farewell'd as she ran off and grabbed Johnny, who was in a daze from slamming into the altar.

"BEGONE PINK DEMON!" Johnny yelled out trying to shake off the pink menace.

"I'm ugly! I'M UGLY!!!!" Rarity cried out, covered head to hoof in mud, with Applejack trying to console her as best as possible.

"Now listen here, my little marshmallow, yer the pertiest, sexiest, gosh darn hottest mare in all of Equestria, and a lil mud ain't gonna change that," Applejack said, holding Rarity close to her and patting her back.

"*sniff*, you really think so-"

"RRAAWWGGGUGUGI!" Fluttershy yelled out, rushing past the two lovers and tackled Pinkie and Johnny to the ground, trying to wrestle Johnny out of Pinkie's grasp, "MINE!"

"No, he's mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"He promised to eat dinner with me!"

"He promised to party with me!"

"...I don't remember promising those," Johnny muttered to himself,

"He promised to take care of my animals with me!"

"HE PROMISED TO PARTY WITH ME!"

"HE PROMISED TO FU-"

"What is going on here!?" a large flare of light appeared as if from no where as Celestia, along with Twilight, appeared before everyone.

"They ruined our wedding!" Applejack glared at the three intruders.

"Fluttershy's stealing my love!" Pinkie glared at Fluttershy.

"Pinkie is a SLUT!!!" Fluttershy yelled out, glaring at Pinkie.

"Oh no!" Johnny yelled out while cradling his head, "I completely forgot about freeing Disco!"

"Ooo, mud wrestling!" Twilight exclaimed excitedly when she saw Rarity and Applejack in the mud, "Oh yeah, spank that flank!" Celestia sighed to herself, and decided to ignore her student for now. She then walked up to Johnny, and smiled at the young man as she pulled Pinkie and Fluttershy off of him with her magic.

"Greetings Johnny Bravo, I am Celestia, princess of Equestria, and I have much to tell you," she said as she smiled at the young man.

"...it's not going to be long is it?" he asked with some disdain, causing the princess to laugh a little.

"I'll be sure to make it quick," she answered, and began her tale.

Author's Notes:

Next chapter will be short, since it just explains what is going on, and then, the final chapter, followed by the epilogue! Yay!
So basically the next chapter's gonna suck since it's just exposition...yay?

Oh yeah, FimFic user Ponyzilla has created a brony interview site, and she needs our help. She is looking for interviewers, forum designers, advertisers, and many more. If you are interested in this epic idea, visit her blog here at

http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/109923/recruiting-help-for-a-new-brony-interview-site

Next Chapter: Obligatory Exposition Estimated time remaining: 21 Minutes
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