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The Incredibly Embarrassing Parents of Rainbow Dash

by Ponibius

Chapter 1: Seeing Double

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The Incredibly Embarrassing Parents of Rainbow Dash

Chapter 1: Seeing Double.

It all started when my parents knocked on my door.

I’d finally gotten a day off after all the Tornado Day craziness. A lot of stuff that happened leading up to it made me rethink a few things. But Pinkie Pie had been there for me, and it looked like everything was going to turn out pretty cool now. Luckily, the Ponyville weather team was on light duty for a little while. The whole ‘partly cloudy and plenty of sunshine’ type of deal, nothing crazy. I’d pushed my team pretty hard for the last couple of weeks to get everything ready for Tornado Day, so they deserved the break. Plus, some of the members of my team had come down with the feather flu and needed time to recover from that nasty bug. Not that I was going to complain about getting some off time myself to practice some sick flying moves or do some awesome pranking with my fillyfriend Pinkie either.

But any plans I had were quickly ruined when I heard that knock and opened my front door. I looked at who was at my doorstep and my heart plummeted. I looked at the mare on the right. “Cool-Mom?” my mouth said as my brain tried to catch up to what my eyes were seeing. I turned to look at the at the mare on the left. “Awesomom? What are you two doing here?”

Cool-Mom wrapped a cerulean foreleg around my neck and gave me a warm hug. “Oh darling, it’s so wonderful to see you!” She released the hug and ran a hoof through her rainbow-colored mane. You’d swear the two of us were clones of each other or something by looking at us. Well, Cool-Mom didn’t have a pair of radical wings like me, the only reason she was even able to stand on clouds was because of the thunderforged steel horseshoes she always wore, and she does spend a whole hay lot more time on her mane than I do—but yeah.

Awesomom nearly drove me to the ground when she tackled me with a hug that would make some bears jealous. She always was the huggy type. For a while all I could see was the white of my other mom’s coat as she slowly crushed the life out of me and spun us in the air. “Oh-Dashie-it’s-so-good-to-see-you-I’ve-missed-you-so-much!”

I struggled in Awesomom’s grasp. “Om! Ah reed toh reath!”

“Oh! Oops, sorry.” Awesomom released her grip and I was allowed to breathe again. “You know I’m always just so happy to see you.” She gave me a loving nuzzle to the face that gave me a faceful of her poofy yellow mane.

I pulled my face back so that I wouldn’t get her hair in my mouth. “Yeah, yeah, that’s fine.” I took a couple of steps out of the doorway to let my parents into my home. “But what’re you two doing here?” I was still trying to get my thoughts organized. I hadn’t expected either of them to just show up in Ponyville out of the blue. Even as spontaneous and unpredictable as Awesomom was, she would at least tell me if she was coming to visit. Or at least, Cool-Mom would tell me—usually by writing a letter when they were already halfway here.

Cool-Mom walked through the doorway and started to look around my living room. “What do you mean? We wrote to you over a week ago saying we were coming over to visit. Your last letter did seem to suggest you were having a rough time of it as of late, and your mother and I thought you could use a little support to help get you through this.”

“Yeah, you know we love our little Dashie!” Awesomom flitted into my living room and gave me another rib-crushing hug. Thankfully, this one didn’t last quite long enough to leave me in danger of suffocation.

I pushed Awesomom to the length of a leg and I blinked a few times as I thought over what they had just told me. “What letter? I didn’t get a letter.” If I had gotten a letter saying my parents were coming, I would have raced over to Cloudsdale to visit them first. It’s not like I didn’t like seeing my parents now and then. Just ... not in Ponyville ... where everypony could see them. I had reasons. Good reasons.

“Here’s your mail, Rainbow Dash,” I heard from the open doorway. I turned to see Derpy standing outside my door. She gave me a smile, reached into her mailbag and pulled out a small bundle of letters. “‘’Ere ah ‘eatter roum ‘our ‘arents.”

“You don’t say?” I said. I grabbed the bundle of letters and jerked my head to motion towards my parents.

Derpy leaned her head to look around me and saw my parents. Her face twitched with recognition and she gave them one of her bubbly smiles. “Mrs. Surprise—Mrs. Rainbow Dash! Hi! It’s nice to see you two again!” She gave the two of them a friendly wave.

Cool-Mom trotted up to Derpy and gave her a quick hug. “Oh, Derpy darling, it has been forever since we have seen that lovable smile of yours.”

Derpy let out a pained groan when Awesomom ran up to her and gave her a crushing hug. “It’s so good to see you again! It’s been like forever and ever since last time! I mean you were all big and pregnant when we last saw you!”

“Yes ... It’s been forever ... hasn’t it?” Derpy was trying to hold back tears as Awesomom threatened to squeeze the life out of her with sheer affection. “Can you ... let go ... had enough ... oxygen please?”

Awesomom smiled apologetically at Derpy and slowly released her. “Oops, sorry. I just get so excited seeing one of Dashie’s old friends.”

Derpy tried to catch her breath before speaking in a strained tone. “Don’t worry about it. It’s always nice to meet you two.”

I glanced at the bundle of letters Derpy had given me, and I noticed that one of the letters was in terrible shape. It looked stained, had crumbs all over it, and the writing was badly washed. I could only barely make out that it had been from my parents. “Derpy, why does this one letter smell like muffins?”

Derpy gave me a goofy grin and rubbed the back of her head. “Oh, sorry ‘bout that. I think I accidently dropped that into the batter at Sugarcube Corner. I didn’t notice till sometime later when a muffin I bought there came out tasting papery.”

I suppressed a growl as I put the group of letters to the side. “It’s okay, Derpy.” That would explain the mystery of my parents’ missing letter. Why couldn’t Derpy lose letters I didn’t care about? Well, she probably did. I just didn’t care enough about those letters to care about them now that I thought about it. But losing my parents’ letter was a bit of a big deal.

“Will you stay and visit?” asked Cool-Mom. “We would just love to sit down and talk with you, considering it has been so long.” She put on a frown that said she would be disappointed if Derpy didn’t accept.

Derpy sighed and shook her head. “I’m sorry, but I’m on the clock.” She patted her mail bag a couple times and the letters and pages within rustled around. “Lots of deliveries to make.”

Cool-Mom nodded and gave her another quick hug. “You’re a working mare now, and you have a pair of children to care for—we understand. We plan on being here all weekend, so we really must find the time to visit one another. Surprise and I would simply love to see Dinky and Sparkler. We’ve heard so much about them from Dash, and now just seems like the perfect opportunity to see them.”

“Yeppers,” Awesomom exclaimed. She hopped up to stand on her rear legs and gave Derpy a friendly noogie. “We need to talk, and eat, and drink, and all sorts of fun stuff.”

Derpy ran her hoof through her mane to try and straighten it back to normal. “I’d love to, considering it’s almost the weekend.” Derpy gave her wings a few flaps to lift herself into the air. “See you all later then?” We all agreed, and Derpy flew off to continue with her deliveries. Hopefully she didn’t lose anypony else’s mail today. To be fair, the mail usually got delivered ... eventually.

I closed the door and turned to face my parents. So they were here to visit me for the weekend. Not cool, but I could work with that. As long as they didn’t go into town and didn’t see anypony else I think everything should be good.

“So where’s this new fillyfriend of yours?” Awesomom got right to the point. “We just couldn’t wait to meet her!”

“Oh, um...” This wasn’t good. Not five minutes in and my parents were already shooting my plan in the hoof. I had to think fast. “It’s just ... she’s busy, working, doing baking stuff. She’s an apprentice baker and all that. And the weekends are busy, so we probably shouldn’t bother her.” I gave the best reassuring smile I had.

Cool-Mom rubbed up against me with a loving nuzzle. Great, she was getting into one of her touchy-feely moods again. “I’m sure she won’t mind if we visit as customers, and I doubt she will be busy all day. Surely she must get off sometime today or during the weekend.”

Awesomom was busy hopping around my house and getting into and looking at everything, as was her way. “Yeah! Your fillyfriend didn’t sound all super-duper-serious and no fun from your letters.”

I could feel the sweat gathering on my brow. “No, it’s not like that. It’s just ... I haven’t spent much time with just the two of you is all.”

Cool-Mom gave me an unconvinced frown as she stared at me. “Is there some reason you don’t want to introduce us to your fillyfriend?”

Yeah, this wasn’t looking good now. “It’s not that, it’s just—”

“Are you worried we won’t approve of her?” Cool-Mom started running her hoof through my mane. She never did like how I don’t do any of that silly stuff she does with her hair. Like combing my hair even matters; all that work just goes to waste the moment I go flying out the door. “You know that if you love her, we’ll do our best to love her too.”

Where was this coming from? I shook my head to reset my mane. “What? I know that.”

Awesomom pulled her head out of my closet and her lips started to quiver. “It’s not that you’re worried she wouldn’t like us?”

“Huh? No, I’m sure she’ll think you’re both cool.” I couldn’t imagine Pinkie not liking anypony. That was like—anti-Pinkie. ‘Like’ wasn’t the issue here.

Now Cool-Mom was pouting at me. “Is that it darling? Are you--perish the thought--ashamed of us?”

And now they were double-teaming me. I’ve never once been able to say ‘no’ to them when they do that. “Aaugh! No! That’s not what I mean at all.”

Awesomom hopped over to me and wrapped her legs around my neck. “Oh, so you’ll show us your fillyfriend then?”

There was no winning this for me. I couldn’t help but have my hoof connect with my face. “Okay, okay! I’ll take you to Sugarcube Corner and introduce you.”

Cool-Mom started herding me towards the door outside. “Spectacular, darling, I can’t wait to meet the mare that captured your heart.”

I opened the door for my parents. “Jeez, do you have to put it in such a ... unradical way?”

“Aww, isn’t that precious?” Awesomom nuzzled my face. “She’s still embarrassed to show affection. I bet you she still has trouble saying the L-word.”

I groaned with irritation. “I can say the L-word just fine. I just don’t wanna.”

Awesomom kept nuzzling me as I closed the door behind us as we exited my cloud-house. I swear, it’s like she doesn’t believe in personal space. “If you say so. We’re just happy to find out you finally found a special somepony to do special somepony things with.”

“Pinks is alright,” I said with a shrug. “We just like to hang out and stuff.”

“Yes, you can’t believe how happy we were to hear about the news.” Cool-Mom jumped me too. Gah, it was another Momwich with me in the middle. It was like my first day of school all over again.

Looking outside I saw that my parents had parked their sky-carriage out in front of my cloud-home. Awesomom must have flown Cool-Mom here from Cloudsdale. “Yeah, whatever, just please don’t embarrass me in front of her—okay?”

“Now why would we do that, darling?” Cool-Mom climbed into the back of the sky chariot and looked back at me.

Awesomom hopped in front of the carriage and started to tie herself to it. “Yeah, we just want to meet her, and talk to her, and tell her childhood stories about you, and show her your foalhood album—”

“Could ... we not show everypony the albums?” I pleaded. I looked into the carriage and saw a pair of saddlebags. I think I saw a corner of one of those albums poking out of one of them.

“But why not?” Cool-Mom’s lips scrunched up as she looked down at me. “Everypony you know seems to love looking at your old photo albums.”

Yeah, there were really good reasons for why I didn’t want anypony in Ponyville to see them. “Cool-Mom, Awesomom—ya do know I'm head of the weather team, right? Kinda have a public image to maintain.”

Awesome beamed at me with pride. “Of course we know, silly, and we’re so proud of you.”

“To think our little filly now runs the weather of a whole town.” Cool-Mom wiped a hoof along her eye as though to brush away a tear.

“So are ya gonna take that job soon?” Awesomom asked expectantly.

I couldn’t help but groan. “I have a job, Awesomom.”

Cool-Mom couldn’t help but throw her two bits in. “She means the one in Cloudsdale. We just want to see more our precious widdle filly!” Ugh, did she have to break out the foal-talk and pinch my cheek?

Mooom!” I protested.

“Yes?” they both asked with a smile.

Yeah, there was no way my parents visiting Ponyville was going to end well for me.

***

We landed on the busy streets of Ponyville by Sugarcube Corner. Awesomom untied herself from the carriage while Cool-Mom hopped out the back. We had gotten into another argument over taking that desk job in Cloudsdale. As if. That job would be major snoozeville, and spending eight hours a day behind a desk would ruin all the work I'd put into getting in shape for the Wonderbolts.

Cool-Mom was busy slowly scanning the area we had landed. “I simply adore this town! It’s easy to see why you like it here, darling. It’s so charmingly rustic. I love Cloudsdale, but all the white does get to be a bit monotonous after awhile.”

“Yeah, it’s alright.” Moving to Ponyville had just kinda happened for me. After getting out of school, I wanted a job away from home that would let me practice my sick moves. I saw the job ad for a weather pony in Ponyville and jumped on it.

I suddenly felt hooves on my back and looked up to see Awesomom’s head turning in weird directions as she tried to look in every direction at once. “I think it’s super-duper-riffic! I can’t believe we didn’t visit sooner!” She backflipped off of me to land on the street.

I trotted up to the entrance of the Sugarcube Corner. “Come on, Pinkie should be working inside.”

My moms followed me into the bakery as I walked to the front counter. As usual, the place smelled like baked goods and frosting, and other customers were either sitting at tables or waiting in line to be served. Mrs. Cake was working the desk. We got to the head of the line after waiting for a few minutes. “Hey, Mrs. Cake, is Pinkie around?”

She gave me the warm smile she usually did. “Oh course dear, she’s right—”

“Behind you!” yelled Pinkie from where she had snuck up on me. I couldn’t help but jump in surprise. Even after all this time I had known her, she could still get the drop on me. But what could you do with a pony who could just jump out of nowhere?

She gave a short laugh and a snort before turning to my parents. She nearly went muzzle to muzzle with Awesomom. “And who are you?” She jumped over to Cool-Mom. “And ... huh?” Her eyes narrowed and her head tilted as she stared at Cool-Mom. She looked back and forth between the two of us a few times before she smiled again and did an excited bounce. “Ohmigosh! Two Dashies!”

I tried to stop Pinkie before she got too crazy. “Pinkie, she’s–”

Pinkie steamrollered right over my attempt to talk. “I-can’t-believe-it! Dashie, did you use the Mirror Pool! Granny Pie told me about the Legend of the Mirror Pool, but I didn’t know it was true!” Cool-Mom smiled with amusement as Pinkie ran around her.

“Pinkie,” I tried to warn her.

Pinkie continued to chirp away. “Though I think the Mirror Pool’s broken. I mean look, she doesn’t have wings like you, and her mane’s all prettied up, and she looks older and–”

“Pinkie! She’s my mom!” Pinkie was cool to hang out with, but sometimes you needed to put your hoof down with her. Cool-Mom had frowned a bit at Pinkie’s last little comment.

“Oooohhhh,” she said with sudden understanding. “That makes sense. It would have been great to have more Dashies, but it’s super duper to meet your mom too!”

“Yeah, super,” I said with considerably less enthusiasm. I motioned towards my moms. “These are my parents, Pinkie.”

Awesomom stepped up to Pinkie and started looking her over with a big grin on her face. “I like her! I think she’s a keeper.”

“What’re your names?! Dashie, introduce me to your parents!” Pinkie hopped excitedly in place. “I’ve wanted to meet you two so badly!”

Might as well get this over with—considering we were fillyfriends now, it was kind of inevitable. I pointed to Awesomom as she and Pinkie were busy mirroring each others’ movements. “Pinkie, this is my Awesomom, Surprise.” Next I pointed to Cool-Mom. Pinkie turned her head to face her, and Awesomom mimicked the movement. Weird. “And this is my Cool-Mom, Rainbow Dash.”

Pinkie sat down and crossed her forelegs as she rubbed her chin. Awesomom copied Pinkie exactly. She could be odd like that sometimes. “Wait, you’re both named Rainbow Dash? That’s just silly.”

Cool-Mom gave an amused chuckle. “Yes, well that’s a bit of a story. I was absolutely exhausted after foaling and asked my dear Surprise to name our foal. When asked what I would like, I told her to surprise me--and true to her name, she did just that when she filled out all the paperwork and named our daughter Rainbow Dash.”

Awesomom nodded her head quickly, and Pinkie did the same. I was starting to wonder if I was seeing double. Miscolored double. “Yep, totally didn’t get lazy or bored with all that boring paperwork at the hospital and just filled in the same name on most of the lines to get done quicker.”

“Your diligence in filling out our daughter’s paperwork only resulted in both of her parents being Rainbow Dash on the first draft of her birth certificate.” Cool-Mom only sounded a little bitter. It had been a bit of a pain to get that fixed from what I had heard.

“Hmm.” Pinkie rubbed her chin again. She actually seemed to be thinking a lot harder about this than she usually did. Maybe names were just serious business to her? She turned to face Awesomom, who did the exact same thing. “But how do you keep them straight? You can’t just call them both Rainbow Dash without both of them comically answering you each time, and you can’t overplay the same joke too much.”

“Oh, that’s easy.” Awesomom jumped up from her sitting position and twirled around to wrap her forelegs around Cool-Mom’s neck, and Pinkie did the same thing to me. “I call my dear sweetie-rainbow-honey-wifie Rainie, and—” Awesomom and Pinkie stood up and the two of them cartwheeled past each other. Awesomom landed next to me and gave me a hug while Pinkie copied her to hug Cool-Mom. “This here is Dashie. See? Simple.”

Pinkie’s mouth opened with a surprised smile. “Wait! You call her Dashie too?” Yeah, that was kinda weird now that I thought about it. Meh, only so many nicknames you could have for Rainbow Dash that didn't sound dumb. I swear, if I had to hear Rainbow Crash one more time...

Cool-Mom cleared her throat and squirmed her head out of Pinkie’s grasp. “Ever since she was a little filly she’s been our Dashie.” She nuzzled me affectionately. I heard a few chuckles from the tables in the Sugarcube. I glared at the direction of the laughs, but when I did so everypony seemed to be trying hard to be looking somewhere else.

Pinkie nodded. “Okie dokie lokie then! Sounds superiffic to me!”

“It’s worked superiffically for me thus far!” Awesomom reached out and wrapped her forelegs around Cool-Mom and my necks to hug us. Years of experience with this had taught me how to position my head so that I could still breathe when she did this. “I love my Rainie and Dashie!” I heard more stupid chuckles from the peanut gallery, but I totally kept my cool and didn’t do anything like blush when my mom hugged me in public.

Pinkie gasped and her eyes widened. “I just realized something. I’ve never met either of you before, and you’ve never been to Ponyville before either. I need to throw each of you a welcome party! But I’m not ready!” Pinkie started walking in place and turned every-which-way as though unsure where she was going. “I want to give both of you a super-duper party, but I don’t have supplies ready, the invites haven’t been sent, a location set, or anything else super important to a party! Dashie, why didn’t you tell me your parents were coming?!”

“Derpy lost the letter,” I grumbled. Great, now Pinkie wanted to throw a party—and given how excited she was, she was going to invite everypony in Ponyville. This was seriously not cool.

Pinkie grinned and giggled. “Oh Derpy, she’s always dropping letters and stuff into the batter. She’s a silly pony.” She tapped her chin and looked up at the ceiling. “Though it does result in a lot of the baked goods coming back all papery tasting. And let me tell you, a papercut on the tongue is no fun.”

“Don’t I know it, sister.” Awesomom gave Pinkie a friendly punch to the shoulder. “I got so bored on a train ride once that I tried to eat a pamphlet. Biiigg mistake. And band-aids don’t really work on your tongue.”

“Oh yeah,” Pinkie agreed. “They just slide right off when they get all wet in your mouth, so you just get this icky band-aid taste. After that everything just starts to taste weird and—no-no-no!” Pinkie smacked the side of her head a couple of times. “What am I doing!? I have a welcoming party to do! Concentrate you silly filly!”

“Oh, oohhhh!” Awesomom flitted around Pinkie a couple of times before landing in front of her. “Can I help! Can I, can I? Plleeeaase, I’ve never helped with my own welcome party before. I’ve ran birthday parties, weddings, other ponies’ welcoming parties, housewarming parties, surprise parties, graduation parties, award ceremonies, celebration parties, parties for all the holidays—and I mean all of them—and all sorts of other parties. But never a welcome party for myself!”

Pinkie clapped her hooves together with excitement. “And I’ve never had a pony help plan their own welcome party before. Well that’s kinda because most of the time they’re also surprise parties, and it wouldn’t be a surprise if they helped plan it. Unless they helped plan it, and we used a spell to make them forget about the party, but Twilight’s said I wasn’t allowed to do that for some reason that I was too bored to listen to.”

Awesomom lowered the front of her body near the ground and shook her tail. “So you wanna do it together, party filly!?”

My fillyfriend nodded enthusiastically. “Nothing to do but to do it!” Awesomom and Pinkie hoofbumped each other and they started to dance in place, giggling like madponies.

Great, just great. Awesomom and Pinkie were chatting up a storm about party plans. I could see this getting out of control real quick with those two encouraging one another. I love Awesomom and Pinkie, but if they started working together ... yeah.

I would really prefer to keep my parents from meeting everypony in Ponyville. I’d spent way too much time making myself the coolest pony in town for that to get messed up now, even if Pinkie and Awesomom didn’t mean to. Maybe I could try and head this off? “Hey, Pinkie, Awesomom—think we could keep this from becoming some big thing? Maybe just invite the ponies in Ponyville my parents already know? Don’t want to overwhelm my parents considering they just got to town.”

“Oh, don’t you worry about us Dashi-coons.” Awesomom patted me on the head. “You know I love meeting lots of new ponies.”

Cool-Mom nodded. “Yes dear, we have been waiting for years now to meet all of your friends and acquaintances in Ponyville.”

That was what I was afraid of. “No, really—I mean—There are just so many ponies I know in Ponyville and it would be such a hassle to invite them all.”

Pinkie waved a hoof to dismiss my objection. “Don’t worry about that, I’ll take care of all the invites!” She turned to smile at my parents. “I know everypony in Ponyville, and I mean everypony. And by the end of the day you’ll be meeting all of them!”

Darn it, Pinkie. If it wasn’t for the fact that she didn’t have a mean bone in her entire body, I’d swear she was trying to sabotage my rep.

Awesomom clapped her hooves together with excitement. “And I want to meet all of them! This trip is going to be everything I could’ve hoped for!” She wrapped a leg around Pinkie’s neck and pulled her closer so that their faces were scrunched up against one another. “So you know where all the good party supplies are in this town?”

Pinkie grinned. “Do I!? Follow me Awesomom! We are going to have so much fun!” The two of them started to quickly hop down the street, plotting the end of my awesome reputation in Ponyville, and there wasn’t a single thing I could think of to stop them without hurting their feelings. And let me tell you, doing anything to make Awesomom or Pinkie cry made you feel totally not cool.

I’m doomed.

***

After Pinkie Pie and Awesomom had run off to plan their “Destroy Dashie’s Reputation Party,” Cool-Mom said she wanted to visit Ponyville’s market. Unfortunately, I couldn’t convince her to return home with me to wait for the party. It didn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out what Cool-Mom wanted. Partially because she told me right then and there as we walked into the market.

“So darling, where is this good friend you talked about in your letters? Applejack was it? I’ve simply been dying to meet her.” Cool-Mom looked back and forth across the busy Ponyville market. As always, ponies were in their stalls or by their market wagons trying to sell their stuff to ponies walking around looking to buy things.

I considered lying or coming up with some excuse to leave the market. But I could never get a lie past Cool-Mom. She just ... knew things. Mom things. It’s like being a mom gave you some kind of sixth sense. Celestia knows Derpy always seemed to know when her kids were up to something. I knew Cool-Mom would know instantly if I tried to hide anything from her. My best hope was that AJ was just not in town today--Big Mac at least wouldn’t be much of a talker. Less chance for something embarrassing could be said then. Cool-Mom could be a chatter-box, but even she couldn’t do much with Mac’s eeyup’s and nnope’s.

I resigned myself to whatever fate the universe had for me. “AJ’s usually sellin’ stuff over here.” I pointed in the general direction we had to go to find Sweet Apple Acres’ selling wagon. Cool-Mom followed me to try and find AJ. It was bit of a pain to have to walk everywhere, but what can you do when your mom is an earth pony? It didn’t help that Cool-Mom and I looked so much alike. The two of us walking together was turning a lot of heads. So much for playing it cool.

We found AJ selling apples and stuff you made out of apples in her usual spot in the market, and my heart sank a bit. Maybe I could keep this short and sweet? AJ finished up with a couple of customers ahead of us, and I walked up to AJ with Cool-Mom. “Hi, AJ,” I said less enthusiastically than I could have.

AJ smiled at me. “Heya, RD and...” Her face twisted in confusion as she turned to Cool-Mom. “RD?”

I sighed and frowned. Might as well get this done and over with. “AJ, this is my mom, Rainbow Dash. Cool-Mom, this is Applejack. She’s cool and all. She’s the second most athletic pony in Ponyville. But what can you do when I’m in town?” I leaned down to whisper into Cool-Mom’s ear. “Please, please don't embarrass me in front of AJ?”

Cool-Mom leaned in to whisper back. “Don’t you fret, I just want to talk to your friend for a bit. No harm in that.”

I could think of plenty of ways for how AJ talking to my parents could be harmful. In fact, I couldn’t see any way this could turn out cool for me at all.

AJ smirked at me. “If that’s what you need to tell yourself, RD.” She offered a hoof to Cool-Mom. “Pleasure ta meet ya, ma’am. Been lookin’ forward to the day Ah could finally see RD’s folks.”

Cool-Mom took AJ’s hoof and shook it. As was her way, AJ shook Cool-Mom’s hoof a bit harder than what she was probably used to. “The pleasure’s all mine.” She shook her leg out a bit before gingerly putting it back on the ground.

“So wait...” AJ shifted her hat to the side and scratched the top of her head. “Yer both named Rainbow Dash?”

This really got lame to have to explain over and over again. “Yeah, Awesomom isn’t really original with names.”

AJ smirked at us. “Well ah can certainly see the family resemblance ‘tween the two of yah. They say us Apples look a lot alike, but this is just uncanny.”

Cool-Mom nuzzled me again. Did she really have to do that in public? “Yes, she did take after me quite a bit. Our darling here only got her other mother’s wings at the end of the day.”

“So is yer other mom around?” AJ turned her head to look around the market. I remembered that AJ knew a little bit about my parents. Given how important family is to her, it kinda came up when we were racing or something. I don’t think I told her much more than that they lived in Cloudsdale, and what their jobs were. More than what most ponies in Ponyville knew.

“Awesomom’s in town somewhere.” I looked to see if she was anywhere nearby. Mentioning her did always seem to cause her to show up. True enough, I saw Awesomom walking up to a coffee stand. I pointed a hoof her way for AJ. “There she is.”

Awesomom smiled at the bored looking stallion running the stand. “Hiya! Can I have a cup of coffee?”

The cream-coated coffee salespony sighed. “I’m not selling you a cup of coffee, Pinkie.” He slapped a crossed out picture of Pinkie stapled to the inside wall of the stand. It stated in bold letters, Do Not Sell To This Pony. “You know the law, can’t sell you the stuff since The Incident. The mayor came by a few months ago to remind us coffee sellers about the law when your librarian friend gave you some. Seems nopony told her about the law involving you and anything with caffeine in it, and now the government is all cranky about it.”

The Princesses were not happy to have to come down to Ponyville to fix the mess Pinkie caused. Very not happy. Twilight giving Pinkie a cup of espresso and causing The Incident II: Pinkie’s Caffeinated Revenge didn’t exactly change anypony’s mind about the law. Though I did have to wonder what tipped him off to make him think that my mom was Pinkie. As far as I knew he had never met Awesomom. Maybe Pinkie had been especially fast with giving out her party invitations?

Awesomom frowned at the coffee vendor. “But I’m not Pinkie. My name’s Surprise, that’s completely different than Pinkie.”

The coffee salespony rubbed his forehead. “It’s not happening, Pinkie. As far as disguises go, this isn’t even a particularly good one. You look like you just dumped some flour on yourself and put on a wig.”

Awesomom’s eyes widened. “What?! No I didn’t! Even if I disguised myself as Dashie’s mom, I would put more effort into it than that. She’s my fillyfriend’s mom for pony’s sake!”

The salespony crossed his hooves in front of his chest. “No means no.”

That’s when a second Awesomom walked up to the coffee stand. “So did you manage to get a coffee?”

The first Awesomom looked down at the ground and frowned. “No, stupid law won’t let me have any after the whole ‘Incident’ thingy. I already said I was real sorry, and it was only a couple hundred thousand bits of damage. I even offered to pay for that one colt's therapy sessions!”

“Too bad then.” Awesomom (probably) gave the vendor a smile. “Can I buy a coffee?”

The salespony looked back and forth between the two of them, and settled on giving Awesomom a disapproving scowl. “I’m not sure I know what’s going on right now, but I’m going to play it on the safe side, and not sell either of you coffee.”

That was probably a good call, and not only because he shouldn’t be selling Pinkie coffee. Cool-Mom had forbidden Awesomom from having anything with caffeine in it too. I would never forget the night when Cool-Mom was away on a business trip, and Awesomom got herself a cup of coffee. That was hooves-down the wildest night of my life as a filly. Though Cool-Mom was not the least bit happy when she had to post bail for Awesomom, and picked the both of us up from the Guard Station. At least I got a sucker from one of the Guards while we waited for Cool-Mom to show up, so it wasn’t all bad. Still, I guessed that some ponies just can’t hold their caffeine.

The first Awesomom pulled on a zipper on her back and removed the freakishly-good costume, revealing Pinkie underneath. “But that’s not fair, she’s not even me!”

Awesomom—the real one, apparently—stomped a hoof on the counter of the stand. “Yeah, I’m me, who's not her, but who is me, who is not her because I’m me! Don’t be a big meanie pants.”

The vendor rolled his eyes. “Listen, I just can’t sell either of you a cup of coffee. It's just not worth the risk of losing my business. Sorry.”

The first Pinkie threw her hooves up. “Oh come on! You can’t sell either of us any coffee? Even if I do this?” Pinkie pulled on a zipper and unzipped herself, revealing Awesomom underneath.

“No,” said the coffee salespony. Yeah, he wasn’t going to budge an inch on this, I could tell that much.

The second Awesomom unzipped herself and revealed what might have been a Pinkie costume or the real thing ... I really had no idea by this point. “How about now?”

The vendor narrowed his eyes at the mare who was probably either my fillyfriend or mom. “Hay no!”

Rraagh!” The first Pinkie/Awesomom let out a frustrated growl and ripped off the Aweomom costume to reveal another pink coat and mane. I was starting to wonder if wearing that many form fitting costumes was hot. I’d have to ask Pinkie that later. “This is impossible!”

“I really don’t need this.” The vendor dipped below the counter of his stall and pulled out a small sign that read ‘Out On Break, Be Back Shortly.’ He placed it on his counter and glowered at the two ponies trying to buy coffee from him. “I’m going on my lunch break. See you two later.” He walked out of his stall to leave the two Pinkies to do whatever they were going to do.

That’s when a third Pinkie popped her head out of a nearby potted plant. “All right girls, time to pack it in. I don’t think we’re going to win this one.” The two other Pinkies grumbled and slowly walked away from the coffee stall while the third one pulled herself out of the potted plant.

AJ managed to pick her jaw off the floor and get her mouth working again after watching ... whatever we just saw. “So, um, that was yer mom? Maybe?”

“Here I am!” AJ nearly jumped when Awesomom flipped herself over the apple cart and landed right next to her. She grabbed AJ’s hoof and shook it harder and faster than even AJ was used to. “I’ve been waiting forever to meet one of Dashie’s very best friends!”

AJ had to steady herself to keep from falling over from the vigorous hoofshake. “Pleasure to meet ya too ma’am.”

A second Awesomom hopped up to us. “I know, right? I’ve been waiting to meet Dashie’s parents since forever also.”

AJ looked back and forth between the two Awesomom’s. “Um, could tha’ real Pinkie please step forward? Ah can’t tell tha’ two of you apart when one of ya is dressed up as the other.”

“Oh, oops.” The second Awesomom unzipped her costume and showed herself to be Pinkie. “Sorry, I forgot I was wearing that.”

AJ gave Pinkie a grin. “That’s ‘lright Pinkie. We all forget about something sometimes.”

“Talkin’ about forgetting things.” Pinkie reached into her mane and pulled out an envelope and hoofed it over to AJ. “I nearly forgot to give you this. You’re invited to Dash’s parents’ ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party!”

AJ placed the party invitation on her cart. “Ah’ll try an’ show up then. Can’t say Ah haven’t been lookin’ forward to greetin’ RD’s parents.”

Pinkie was grinning with barely contained excitement. “We’re planning on having a super duper party! I’m pulling out all the stops!”

Awesomom wrapped her leg around Pinkie’s neck to pull her into a hug. “Girl, you better be careful about what you’re saying. I don’t want you getting my hopes up only for me to be disappointed. I’ve already told you, I’ve run many a party in my lifetime, so I have some pretty high standards for what a great party is.”

Pinkie slid out from Awesomom’s grasp and gave her a slight frown. “I can do it,” she said with a hint of desperation. “I’ll show you a great party. I even have a great new mixture for my party cannon I’ve just been dying to try out for the right occasion.” She pulled out her party cannon from ... wherever it is that she pulls out a cannon about her own size. “It’s super confetti-ie now!”

“You have a party cannon too?!” Awesomom pulled out her party cannon from someplace equally improbable. Heh, that’s right, I nearly forgot Awesomom also has a party cannon. Odd, I guessed it was just one of those thing ponies who ran a lot of parties picked up sooner or later.

Pinkie rubbed her chin as she looked over Aweomom’s cannon. “Ooh, nice! One of the old Party-Buster models, I didn’t know anypony still used these things.”

Awesomom gave her party-based artillery a loving pat. “You can’t beat the classics.” She pointed at Pinkie’s cannon. “What you got there? One of those new-spangled Kersplosion-Spectacular’s?”

“Yepperie!” Pinkie sent her cannon into a dizzying spin. I really had to wonder if something like that was safe. It didn’t look like it would be fun to get blasted by that thing. “Just bought it a couple of months ago. Isn’t it neat?”

“Hm, I don’t know.” Awesomom started to give Pinkie’s cannon a good look over. “You start playing around with those newer models, and you never know if they work right or will last long. I prefer something reliable myself.”

“But you don’t get super streamer options like with the brand super new cannons,” Pinkie countered.

My hoof was unable to resist meeting my face. “Please don’t start comparing sizes.”

The two of them started to get into what I guessed was a indepth discussion about party artillery--and like a lotta conversations with Pinkie, it all started to sound like blah, blah, blah to me after a certain point. It’s not like I didn’t try and pay attention, but sometimes you just have to tune out whatever she’s saying or go bonkers. She once held a entirely one-sided conversation for four hours.

AJ lifted her hat to scratch the top of her head as she watched Pinkie and Awesomom. “So ah guess Pinkie an’ your mom are really hittin’ it off then? Seems they have a lot in common. A whole hay of a lot if ya ask me.”

My ears shifted to face AJ. “What do you mean? I mean I guess they both do the party thing, but every town has a pony like that, right?”

Cool-Mom giggled. “Oh yes, the two of them seem to quite enjoy each other’s company. So good to see that your fillyfriend is getting along with her potential in-laws.”

In-laws? That word and its potential meaning starting along the racetrack in my mind, and after a few seconds crossed the finish line. My eyes widened. “Mom! Pinkie and I aren’t plannin’ on getting married!” Where is the world was she even getting that idea? I liked being with Pinkie and doing stuff together, but getting married? That was the furthest thing from my mind.

“Don’t you fret, darling.” Cool-Mom gave me one of those smiles that told me she knew more than she was letting on. That smile was rarely good for me. “I understand you two have only been dating for a couple of months now; there’s no need to rush things. But trust me, that’s love in her eyes when she looks at you. I’ve seen it more than once while making wedding dresses, and I’m quite familiar with the look.”

I tried to think of a response to what Cool-Mom was telling me. “B-but we aren’t thinking of anything like that. I mean I like her—but it’s not like that ... type of thing.”

“Aw, but y’all’re such a cute couple,” teased AJ.

I glowered at AJ with slanted eyes. “It’s not cute, it’s ... cool, like totally awesome. Yeah, me and Pinks are like totally radical together.” What we had together was cool. Don’t know where this marriage thing came from.

Cool-Mom continued to smirk at me. “I’m sure you two will figure it out sooner or later.” She nuzzled me again, and I saw AJ pucker in her lips to suppress a smile and laugh. I could already hear months’ worth of teasing coming my way. My glowering seemed to have no effect on her. Then Cool-Mom really dropped a lightning bolt on me. “It’s just your mom and I were hoping to have grandfoals someday.”

My head snapped over to look at Cool-Mom. “F-f-foals!? M-mom, I’m not ready for foals! They’re like ... a lot of work, and I was wanting to become a Wonderbolt and stuff.”

“Oh, don’t say that,” Cool-Mom said disapprovingly. “You’ll do just fine. We can help you when it comes time for that. And Pinkie can carry the foals if you’re worried being pregnant would disrupt your career plans. She seems like the type of pony who would love to have children.”

AJ gave me a jab in the shoulder. “Plus ah’m sure your little tikes will be cute as buttons.” Stupid AJ egging my mom on. She was enjoying this way too much.

“No doubt,” Cool-Mom said approvingly. “Now I’m not telling you to start trying now, but you don’t want to get too old before you start to have children. Also your mom and I would like to be young enough to enjoy being grandparents.”

Yeah, no pressure or anything. Jeez, I get a fillyfriend, and suddenly Cool-Mom was bringing up marriage and kids. Not cool, not cool at all. Can’t I just enjoy goofing around with my fillyfriend?

I let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine, I’ll think about it.” I took a whole half a second to think about it, and rejected it. I didn’t say I would think about it long.

Cool-Mom nodded at that. “That’s all I’m asking for, darling.”

“So would either of ya like ta buy anything while you’re here?” AJ waved towards her stand.

AJ trying to sell apples and apple based products came as a welcome interruption. “Sure,” I said. “How about some of those apple fritters and a couple apples?”

“Sure thing, RD.” After haggling over the price for a bit, AJ scooped up the apple fritters and apples and placed them in a couple of bags for us. “Here ya go.”

“Thanks.” I grasped the bags under my wings, and passed over one the bags holding the fritters to Cool-Mom. “Here, they’re pretty good.” That was true, hay, they tasted pretty fantastic when AJ made them. Hopefully they would also help to keep Cool-Mom from giving AJ any more teasing material.

I looked around, but I didn’t see either Awesomom or Pinkie anywhere. Both of them could kinda do that. Here one moment, gone the next. Shrugging, I dipped my mouth into my own bag and chomped down on the couple of the fritters. As I ate, I got brown sugar all over my snout. I forgot how messy the things could be.

Cool-Mom tisked and frowned at me. “Now you’re making a mess of yourself. Here, let me help you clean up.” She reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a handkerchief.

I move my head away from my mom as she tried to wipe at my snout. “Cool-Mom, you don’t need to—” My objections were cut short when she started rubbing around my mouth. AJ snickered and placed a hoof over her mouth as she watched us. Several other ponies were also looked at us with amused grins.

I groaned with annoyance. “I’m not a filly, I can clean myself off.”

Cool-Mom placed her handkerchief back into her bag. “Now don’t be like that. I just wanted to clean off the worst of that meal. I swear, when you were a foal you got more of your food on yourself then into your mouth.”

“Sounds like she was quite the messy eater.” AJ smirked while looking at me through the corner of her eyes.

“Oh, you wouldn’t believe it. Here, let me show you.” And so Cool-Mom pulled out her weapon of mass humiliation from her saddlebag, an old album that she placed on AJ’s stand. I felt a cold sweat start to form on my brow.

I placed a hoof on the album to keep it closed. “You know, we really don’t need to be looking at that old thing. I’m sure AJ would just be all bored looking at it.” I gave a chuckle that totally sounded one hundred percent confident.

AJ gave me a wicked grin. “Oh, Ah doubt Ah’ll be bored. Let’s have’a look at that thing.”

I placed a second hoof on the album. “Nah, its fine, we’ve already wasted way too much of your time. I’m sure you have apples to sell--lots of apples.”

“Now Dashie, I think she wants to see at least a couple pictures,” Mom said with a hint of annoyance. “Now be careful, you’re putting too much weight on the album.” She brushed my hooves off the album and opened it up. Oh this was not good.

Cool-Mom turned to one of the first pages and pointed to one of the pictures. It showed me as a foal sitting in an eating chair designed for foals. I was absolutely covered in what I guessed was mashed carrots and putting on a ridiculously happy smile.

AJ chuckled as she looked at the photo. “My, RD, weren’t ya a cute little thing once?” She started to scan more of the photos and chuckled some more.

“Alright, I think you’ve had enough now.” I tried to close the album but AJ firmly put her foreleg down to keep me from doing that. Stupid earth pony strength.

“Now don’t act hasty there.” AJ’s tone of voice dripped of her enjoyment. “Not everyday ah get ta see one of mah pal’s foal pictures.”

Cool-Mom smiled warmly as she looked down at the photos. “Yes, those days seemed to just fly by. One day you’re changing your foal’s diapers, the next you're sending her to school, then Flight Camp, and then you’re sending her off into the world.”

AJ looked up at Cool-Mom and adjusted her hat. “Yeah, ah think ah understand. My little sis, Apple Bloom, seems ta be growin’ up so fast sometimes.”

Cool-Mom smiled sadly at the album as she flipped to the next page. “Enjoy those days while you can, because once they’re gone, they’re gone.”

“Ah’ll keep that in mind ma’am.” AJ looked back down at the album. “So ... think ah could git a copy of all this? Ah’ll pay you fifty bits up front.”

Cool-Mom tapped her chin. “I suppose I can arrange for that. What were you wanting all this for?”

“Oh.” AJ turned to give me the most evil smile I had ever seen on her face. “Ah just thought it would be nice ta share some memories with RD. She was such a cute little filly.” Somehow that smile became even more wicked. “Don’t ya think?”

Oh hay no! I did not need AJ getting a lifetime supply of blackmail on me! I tried to keep my cool and think of something to get out of this. Somehow I didn’t think talking AJ or dragging my mom away by force would go well. Burning the album seemed like it would have been an option ... except it would have made my mom cry, so that was a no-go. She probably had the negatives anyways, so there wasn’t much of a point in the long term. I needed a way to get Cool-Mom away from AJ and fast. I was going to be lucky to keep any of my pride at this rate. I thought through my options for trying to run damage control. It would be best if I could keep my parents from meeting anypony else in Ponyville. Especially my friends, given how well having Cool-Mom was going for me right now. Well, unless one of my friends already knew my parents...

“Hey Cool-Mom, would you like to see Fluttershy again?” I pointed off in the direction of Fluttershy’s cottage. “She’s just a little bit out of town.”

Cool-Mom’s face brightened. “Oh yes, it has been forever since I last saw her. Let’s go see the dear.” She gave AJ a nod. “As long as you don’t mind.”

AJ waved off Cool-Mom’s worries. “Nah, go ahead. Like RD said, got apples to sell.” She tapped the party invitation she had gotten earlier. “Ah’ll probably see ya at the party later anyways.”

“Yes, see you then.” Cool-Mom scooped up the blackmail-worthy album and slipped it into her bag.

AJ nodded. “See ya two later.”

“Bye AJ,” I said without any enthusiasm. AJ just smiled at me, the jerk. I was never going to hear the end of this.

***

I was flying towards Fluttershy’s cottage while towing my parents’ carriage and Cool-Mom sitting within. Overall I was pretty happy to just get Cool-Mom out of Ponyville, though Awesomom was no doubt running amok in town with Pinkie, but nailing her down was going to be impossible anyways. No sense trying to fight a fight I couldn’t win. I hate losing—or not winning for that matter. Same thing really. Maybe she would just gravitate towards me eventually, and just enjoy spending time with Fluttershy instead of throwing some big party. I doubted I would be that lucky, but I could hope. I helped defeat two crazy gods with rainbows--anything was possible.

At least I might be able to keep Cool-Mom out of Ponyville for most of the day, and Fluttershy had already met my parents. Whatever damage that could be done had already been done, and besides which it was hard to imagine Fluttershy using what she knew about my parents to embarrass me.

Being tied to the carriage was a pain though. The extra weight of the carriage slowed me down, magical pegasus-friendly charms or no. I couldn’t pull off any sick moves either—it’s generally a bad idea to do stunts when tied to a carriage. I usually got off with nothing worse then some broken bones if I happened to crash, but that’s when I didn’t also have a big old hunk of wood to crash on me too. Besides which, Cool-Mom didn’t like going really fast, or having me do things like turn the carriage upside down in an aileron roll. She made that clear when I was trying to get my carriage licence and I nearly tossed her out of the carriage while trying to fly like I normally did. Telling my mom she was fine because she was wearing the seat belt didn’t do anything to keep me from being grounded at the time. I didn’t think Cool-Mom could ground me anymore, but I prefered not to risk it.

I landed near Fluttershy’s cottage and slowly brought the carriage to a slow stop. Or at least, I tried to. I may have had a licence to own and operate a carriage, but that didn’t mean I worked with one on a day-to-day basis. I just didn’t have much need for one most of the time, and the hoofful of times I did I just borrowed Fluttershy’s. As a result, I didn’t have a ton of experience steering a carriage, and I realized I made a mistake when I landed on the grass instead of on the dirt path. I tripped on something, probably a rock or dirt clump. I managed to keep from landing face first in the dirt, but the momentum of the carriage drove me forward. I lost my footing, and my right-forward knee skidded along the ground painfully for a few steps.

Ow.

“Dashie! Are you okay!?” Cool-Mom quickly unbuckled herself from her carriage seat and ran over to me.

I stood up unsteady. “Yeah, I think so.” I looked myself over to see if any damage had been done. I tried to flex my right-forward leg and then hissed in pain when it started to sting. My knee had been scrapped up. It didn’t look like anything real serious, but it was bleeding and it didn’t feel comfortable to mess with. “Looks like I just scraped up my knee, no big.”

Cool-Mom raised a hoof up to her mouth and gasped. “Oh Dashie darling, we need to get that taken care of right away!”

“It’s nothing to worry about,” I grumbled. Cool-Mom was always fussing whenever I hurt myself as a filly. I really didn’t want to tell her about my eye condition or the fact I was going to be getting surgery to fix it, because I knew she'd make a big deal about the the whole thing. But on the other side of the bit, it was a little too big to just hide from my parents. A broken bone and hospital stay here and there were one thing; eye surgery was another.

Cool-Mom frowned at my knee as she raised it up to get a better look. “But you’re bleeding, and look at that, you don’t even want to put your weight on it.” She started to pull me towards the cottage. “Come, let’s see if Fluttershy has a first aid kit.” I let her pull me along; not like we weren’t going to be visiting Fluttershy anyways.

She knocked on the door, and after a bit Fluttershy slowly opened her door. “Oh, hi Rainbow Dash, and...” Fluttershy took a moment to look between the two of us before I saw the spark of recognition in her eyes. “And Mrs. Rainbow Dash! I wasn’t expecting you today.”

Cool-Mom played with a her hair a bit to puff it back up. Flying probably didn’t do her fancy hairdos any favors. “Yes well—it would seem our letter got lost in the mail, and our dear daughter didn’t know we were coming.”

Fluttershy looked back and forth as though looking for something. “Oh dear, I would have prepared something if I knew you two were coming.”

“I understand. Think nothing of it darling.” Cool-Mom pointed at my injured knee. “But please, Dashie hurt herself landing just a minute ago. Can we come in and get the wound cleaned up and have a bandage put on it?”

Fluttershy looked down and saw my scraped knee and her eyes widened. “Rainbow Dash, you’re hurt! Come inside right now.”

Why were they making such a big deal out of my knee? They both know I’ve been through a hay of a lot worse. “It’s not a big deal, it’ll heal in—”

My objection was stopped when Fluttershy entered one of those rare super-assertive moments she sometimes had. My initial resistance was barreled over as she pushed me into her home. “Now you just sit down on my couch and rest. We’re going to take care of that nasty scrape.”

I didn’t so much sit on the couch as much as get pushed into it, gently. I groaned in frustration. “I said I’m fine. Don’t make such a big deal out of this.”

“Injuries are always serious, Dash.” She looked me in the eyes and gave a frown. “Please, I just want to make sure you’re alright.”

Cool-Mom fluffed up a pillow for me to lean against on the couch. “Yes, no sense letting that get infected.”

I leaned back into the couch and the pillow mom had set up and crossed my forelegs over my chest. “Fine.” I could tell I wasn’t going to get away without my little scrape getting taken care of. I knew that Fluttershy was going to fuss until she got her way. I’d tried to keep her from bandaging up some stupid scratch a couple of years ago, and I’d made her cry. Seeing her cry hurt more than any minor injury. And Cool-Mom was Mom—there was no arguing with Mom.

Cool-Mom turned to Fluttershy. “Is there a rag I could use to get wet and clean Dash with while you get some bandages?”

Fluttershy nodded towards her kitchen. “Oh yes, just under the sink in the kitchen. Feel free to use whatever you need.” Fluttershy trotted over to one of her closets and started to rummage around. Cool-Mom made her way to the kitchen, and I heard cabinets open and close from within. I tried not to bleed on Fluttershy’s couch; that would’ve been rude.

Cool-Mom came out of the kitchen holding a wet rag in her mouth. “‘Noew ‘fow me ‘er ‘eg,” she said through the rag. I rolled my eyes and extended my leg out to her. She started to dab and wipe at my injured knee carefully and deliberately. Once again, she was treating me like a little filly; at least this wasn’t happening where everypony could see us.

Fluttershy closed her closet door and walked over to us with a small metal container under her wing. She placed the metal box down on a low lying table by the couch. When she opened it, I saw bandages, bottles holding different types of medicines, and other things you would expect in a first aid kit.

She pulled out one of the bottles and a few cotton balls. She placed one of the cotton ball at the end of the bottle and overturned the bottle to get the ball with the liquid that sloshed around inside it. “Now let’s make sure that doesn’t get infected.”

Cool-Mom stepped back from me to give Fluttershy room to work. She gave the now slightly bloodied rag a shake. “‘Err ‘an ah ‘ut ‘his?”

Fluttershy had been carefully examining my knee when she blinked at Cool-Mom’s question. She turned her head to look at Cool-Mom. “Oh, just throw that thing out. I didn’t really need it anyways.” She turned back to me and started to move the cotton ball towards my knee. “Now hold still please.”

She dabbed the cotton ball on my knee and it started to sting from the disinfectant. I was a big mare. I totally barely flinched. Fluttershy didn’t have to hold my leg still or anything. Really. At least I hadn’t gotten hurt at Sweet Apple Acres. Granny Smith believed in the power of iodine.

Cool-Mom threw away the stained rag into a trash can in the kitchen. She craned her neck took a long look around Fluttershy’s living room. “My, I simply love what you have done with this place. Such a cozy and earthy feel to the place. You even managed to include little homes for your animal friends in a way to make the whole room seem organic.”

Fluttershy gave Cool-Mom an appreciative smile. “Thank you, I really like my home. It’s everything I wanted.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” Cool-Mom gave a comforting pat along Fluttershy’s shoulders. “You seem a lot more comfortable out in the country than you did in Cloudsdale.”

Fluttershy continued to hold my hoof in an iron grip. She didn’t really need to. It wasn’t like I was flinching ... much. “Yes, it’s a lot quieter than in Cloudsdale, and I get to make so many wonderful animal friends out here.” It was a little hard to miss all the birds chirping and flying around the ceiling of her home, and the small critters hopping around the floor and in and out the windows.

Cool-Mom stepped up to look at my knee again. It was like they were doing complicated surgery or something. “That sounds wonderful, darling. It’s good to hear you have carved out a niche for yourself.”

“So, how have you and Mrs. Surprise been doing lately? It’s been so long since we last saw each other.” Fluttershy pulled out a bandage roll out of her first aid kit and started to wrap it around my knee. I just groaned and looked away from Fluttershy.

Cool-Mom picked up a pair of scissors to cut off the end of the bandage. “We’re doing quite fabulously. Surprise’s party and joke shop is doing as well as always, and my fall lineup looks like it will be another smashing hit in Cloudsdale and Canterlot.”

“That’s good to hear.” Fluttershy finished her work by taping up the end of the bandage. “There, how does it feel now?”

I stretched my leg to make sure it could flex. “It’s fine.” That’s when I noticed that the bandage was covered in cutsie-looking bunny rabbit heads. “Fluttershy, what the hay?!”

Fluttershy started to frantically dart around to look at the bandage from different angles. “What’s the matter!? Is the bandage too tight? Is it too lose? Is the material uncomfortable? Does it still hurt?”

“It’s covered in bunnies,” I grumbled.

“Oh, is that a problem?” Fluttershy asked as though nothing were wrong. “I thought it looked cute.”

I pointed at the bandage again, and tried to find a way to get my point across without hurting her feelings. “Don’t you have anything cooler and not so ... cutesy? This is – I mean it’s not bad or anything, but it’s really not my kinda thing.”

Fluttershy flinched and backed a step away from me. “I’m sorry, I liked the bandages with the bunnies, and I ran out of the plain ones.”

I was about to complain some more when Cool-Mom cleared her throat and stepped next to Fluttershy. “Dash, that is quite enough. Your friend is just trying to help you out of the kindness of her heart.”

Fluttershy had lowered her head and was looking at the floor. “No—really, it’s alright Mrs. Rainbow Dash, I should have—”

Cool-Mom put a hoof to Fluttershy’s lips. “Not another word, you have nothing to apologize for, it’s my daughter who should be apologizing to you for her rudeness.” She looked at me with a scowl. “Don’t you think so?”

“But Mmooomm!” I protested. “Have you looked at this—”

“I said apologize, young lady,” Cool-Mom said without a hint of her usual laid-backness. Crap.

I flattened my ears against my head. One look at Fluttershy as her lips quivered told me that I had hurt her feelings. Years of being her friend told me that much. Given that fact and the stern gaze Mom was giving me, I knew I’d bucked up. I took a moment to breath. “Okay, Fluttershy, I’m sorry. I know you’re just trying your best, and the bandage is fine, really.” I had already messed up one apology big time this month, and I didn’t need a repeat. Fluttershy was one of my very best friends.

Fluttershy scraped a hoof along the floor. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt my feelings, Rainbow. It’s okay.

Cool-Mom nodded and put on her usual light hearted cheer. “That’s better.” She smiled at Fluttershy. “Now enough of that, we have so much catching up to do.”

Fluttershy relaxed and returned her smile. “Yes, that sounds nice.”

“How about you do it at a party!” yelled Pinkie through one of the living room windows. “Because I have an invitation for Dashie’s parents welcome party with your name on it!”

Fluttershy and Cool-Mom jumped at Pinkie’s sudden appearance. I of course kept my cool, and in no way fought Fluttershy for a hiding spot behind my mom.

Fluttershy stepped out from behind Cool-Mom and let out a calming breath. “Nice to see you Pinkie. When were you planning on having the party?”

Pinkie rubbed her chin. “The stage should be set up by six if nothing goes wrong, so if Vinyl’s band can get set up by seven ... we should be good to go by then.”

“You mean bands!” yelled Awesomom from the opposite living room window. This caused everypony who wasn’t me to jump again. “I pulled in a favor with my friend Octavia to get some classic rock going on at this party!”

“Wait, two bands?” Whatever thinking thing Pinkie had between her ears went to work as she thought that over. “But if we have two bands at one party...” She started to rub her forehooves while in deep concentration. “Then that can only mean one thing...”

“A Band War!” Awesomom and Pinkie yelled at the top of their lungs. The rest of us couldn’t help but flatten our ears to the top of our heads to protect our eardrums. I swear, Pinkie was going to leave me deaf. Awesomom had already done enough damage to my hearing growing up.

What was worse, my earlier fear that Pinkie and Awesomom were going to be playing off one another seemed to be coming true. Already they had made plans for a stage and two bands. Who knew how out of control this was going to get by the time of the party? Not that there was much I could do but ride out the storm.

Pinkie pointed at Awesomom. “You just wait, this is going to be the best welcome party ever!”

Awesomom gave Pinkie a confident grin. “You sure about that party girl? I’ve ran quite a few welcome parties in my day. You’re going up against a veteran party animal here. A connoisseur of confetti. The bubble-master of balloons. The...” She stopped and crossed her forelegs on the window frame. “Hm, I really should have thought of where I was going with this.”

Pinkie waved her hoof. “Don’t worry about it. I forget what I’m talking about all the time. So what were we talking about again?”

Awesomom pointed her hoof at Pinkie with renewed confidence. “The point is that I’m awesome at parties!”

Pinkie slammed her hooves on the windowsill. “So am I, awesome-cool-ridiculously-radical-mom! You haven’t been to a party until you’ve tried my special party cupcakes and muffins!”

“Yeah, well let’s see how your decoration skills stand up to mine!” Awesomom pulled up a couple of bags filled with glitter and confetti. “Rainbow-sweetie, which do you like better? The Party Times Inc. mix, or the one done by All We Do Is Parties Co.?”

Cool-Mom walked up to give each of the bags a examinatory glance. “I would pick the one on the left, the color scheme works much better in my opinion.”

Pinkie stomped her hoof a few times more on the windowsill. “Hey, no fair asking for advice!”

“We were playing by rules to start with?”Awesomom asked.

Pinkie took a moment to consider that. “Hm, good point.” She launched herself through the window, rolled on the floor, and came up to her hooves in front of me. “Dashie, you absolutely gotta tell me which of these cupcakes tastes better! It’s super important!” She reached behind herself and showed me a cooking sheet with a pair of frosting-covered cupcakes on it.

One nice thing about dating Pinkie was that I got a lot of free treats out of the deal. One bad thing about thing about dating her was that I had to play taste tester to a lot of her treats. Most of her stuff turned out pretty good, but every once in awhile ... well, usually they just tasted bad. Usually. Of course, when something didn’t turn out so well I had to try and break it to Pinkie without hurting her feelings, which was always a pain. I also had to work to keep off the pounds from all those treats, which just adds more work to my schedule.

I tentatively picked up each cupcake and took a bite out of each. “They each taste fine, really good actually.”

Pinkie frowned at me. She pouted at me. “But which do you like more?”

Uh-oh, this looked like one of those times when Pinkie was fishing for a specific answer. “Um, they’re both good.” Which was true; I liked both of them, but I’m not kinda expert on baking.

Pinkie started stomping both of her front hooves up and down. “But which one do you like more? They can’t be equally as good, I used completely different recipes for them, and I want the best one for the party.”

Really, I couldn’t tell a difference between them. I didn’t know what Pinkie wanted out of me. “They’re both fine. You can use both.”

This didn’t seem to be the answer Pinkie wanted as her frown deepened. “Okie dokie loki.” Pinkie turned on Fluttershy and smiled at her as she pulled out another cooking sheet out of her mane and presented a couple more cupcakes to her. “Give them a try and tell me what you think considering Dash can’t seem to tell a difference between the two different batches of cupcakes I put so much work into.”

Fluttershy smiled as she examined the cupcakes. “Thanks Pinkie, I’d love to try them...” She picked each cupcake and tried them in turn. She licked the crumbs off her lips and took a moment to think. “I think I like the first one a little, it had a fluffier taste. They’re both really good, though.”

Pinkie smiled wider and nodded her head appreciably. “Thanks Fluttershy, you’re a pal.” She gave me a glance with slanted eyes. “Nice to know I can get a pony’s honest opinions about my cooking.”

Something about the way Pinkie was holding herself told me I might’ve just goofed up. She seemed to be making it a point not facing me all of a sudden. Maybe this was one of those fillyfriend things I just didn’t get yet. Or maybe it was a Pinkie thing? I could never tell the difference at times. Maybe I could just change the topic? That always worked with Pinkie.

“Hey Pinks, how many ponies are you planning on inviting to this party?” I asked.

Pinkie’s ears perked at that and she grinned at me. “Lots and lots of ponies!” Nuts, exactly what I didn’t want to hear. She sat down and started to rub her chin in deep concentration. “But have I invited enough ponies? This is supposed to be a super duper party for Dashie’s parents. But how many ponies is enough for something like this?”

“All the ponies?” Awesomom offered helpfully.

Pinkie gasped. “All the ponies! I’ll invite all the ponies! Of course, why didn’t I think of that?”

That did not sound good. “Uh, Pinkie, what do you mean by ‘all the ponies?’”

Pinkie hopped to her feet. “Exactly what it means silly-willy. I’m going to invite all the ponies!”

My brain was trying to wrap about what Pinkie was saying. It wasn’t very safe to try and figure out what Pinkie was thinking, I know, but there I was doing it. Sooner or later, it just happened no matter how hard you tried to not think about how crazy everything she did was.

I scratched the top of my head. “Err, you mean everypony in Ponyville?”

“No, all the ponies!” Pinkie said as though explaining something simple to a small child. “You need to do a better job of paying attention.”

“Wouldn’t all the ponies be a lot of ponies?” asked Fluttershy.

Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. “You’re right! I better start working on those invitations now!”

With that she ran to the window and leaped out of it. Sometimes Pinkie doesn’t believe in doors. I wasn’t big on them either, but when you lived in a cloud-house you didn’t even really need a door. Plus it was just a lot more convenient to just fly in through the window.

“I better get going too, lots of partying to plan.” Awesomom pointed at the stupidly cutesy bandage on my leg. “Nice bandage by the way.”

“Thanks, Mom.” I deadpanned.

Awesomom saluted us. “I’m off.” With that, she closed the window.

Cool-Mom let out a sigh and gave a loving smile. “I do so adore seeing Surprise in action. Such passion in that one. And I must say, your fillyfriend must have quite a bit of energy to keep up with her.”

“Yeah, I guess the only other pony I’ve seen with as much energy as Pinks is Awesomom.” Some ponies just seemed to have a ton of energy. Good thing I’m so awesome or I wouldn’t be able keep up with either of them.

“Indeed, they are both quite exhausting.” Cool-Mom let out an exhausted sigh and sat down on Fluttershy’s couch. “Especially after the trip from Cloudsdale. The flight always messed up my mane, and I always feel I need a trip to the spa.”

Fluttershy sat down in a chair opposite of Cool-Mom. “You could always go to the Ponyville Spa if you’d like. Aloe and Lotus are really good at what they do.”

Cool-Mom clapped her front hooves together. “A wonderful idea, darling. Why don’t we all go and enjoy ourselves?”

I rubbed my hoof through my mane a couple times. “Do we have to? Couldn’t we do something cooler together?” I didn’t exactly want to head back into town. Sure, Fluttershy and Cool-Mom making a big deal out of some scratch was embarrassing, but at least it was just in front of them and not in front of a crowd.

“Oh pish-posh.” Cool-Mom dismissed my complaint with a wave of her hoof. “There is nothing as luxurious as a couple hours spent at the spa. It will give Surprise and Pinkie time to set up their party, and we can go looking and feeling our best. You should come too Fluttershy—my treat.”

Fluttershy gave a slight shake of her head. “Thank you, but I’d hate to intrude—you and Rainbow must have a lot to catch up on.”

Cool-Mom hopped off the couch and walked over to stand next to Fluttershy. “It’s not a bother at all. It’s been so long since we spent any time together, and a friend of my daughter is a friend of the family. Besides, it will make for a wonderful time.” She wrapped a leg around Fluttershy’s shoulders and started to pull her along.

Fluttershy let herself be moved along by Cool-Mom. “If you insist, then I wouldn’t mind.”

Cool-Mom gave that smile she always had when she got her way. “Marvelous. Dashie, would you mind tying yourself to the carriage while we ride? I want to have a chat with your friend about a few things during the trip.”

I walked to the front of my parents’ carriage and I started tying myself to the harness. “Yeah, whatever.”

Cool-Mom and Fluttershy both hopped into the carriage. “So have I ever showed you Dashie’s foal pictures?”

Fluttershy considered the question for a moment before shaking her head. “I don’t think you have, no. I’m sure she was such a cute filly.”

Cool-Mom started to pull out one of those blackmail material albums. “Absolutely adorable. Though admittedly a bit of a hoofful--it took us forever to potty train her. Why, I had to stop going to my favorite boutique for months because Dashie mistook a dressing room for a lavatory—”

Mooomm!” Oh. HAY. No. I knew I was in for embarrassing stories, but that was just—gah! I was burning brightly enough that I’m kinda surprised the chariot didn’t catch fire as I turned to look back at the two of them. Fluttershy covered her mouth with a hoof and was suppressing a snort. All I could do was sit down and hide as much of my face as I could under my hooves.

My moms hadn’t even been in town for a whole day yet and I was at risk of dying from embarrassment. And it sounded like they were gonna be here awhile. I’m so doomed.

Author's Notes:

I would like to give a big thanks out to Chengar Qordath and Comma-Kazie for all their help in making this story possible.

I would also like to give a big thanks to my prereaders Infinion, droplet739, fizzlefist, notMurphy, Garbo802, mrjerrio, q97randomguy, Pav Fiera, roflkneif, Vhett, and Swiftest Shadow.

Next Chapter: Darling, Darling, Darling, Darling, Darling, Darling, Darling, Darling. Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 27 Minutes
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