Finally getting to the good stuff! Took you long enough, kiddo.

I didn't want to rush it.

And that's why you don't have a girlfriend.

Wait, how does... you dirty little bastard!

Bahahahahaha! Oh Bobby, you're just too easy!

Just like your mom.

BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Why are you shouting that if you're the butt of the joke?

Pfffft, you said butt. Hahahaha!

I've met ten year olds more mature than you.

And isn't that great! While you pout like an uptight old man, I'll still be that adorable clown that no one can resist.

Ugh, I need new friends.

Like that's ever going to happen.

Can't you ever offer any words of encouragement for once?

Nah. Messing with you is just too much fun!

Just my luck I decided to write a crossover with a madman.

Which is why I brought booze! Take your pick! We got's scotch, whiskey, tequila, and I little something I like to call Lucky No. 7.

Why do you call it Lucky No. 7?

Because only seven people have lived after tasting this drink. If you survive I can call it Lucky No. 8!

Uh, I think I'm good.

Don't knock it till you try it. But seriously though, don't knock on it, because the resulting explosion will probably kill us.

... Pass me the tequila.

Fiesta Time! Andale Andale!

"That's right, hurry it up! The longer you take the itchier my button pushing finger gets!" the Joker shouted joyfully to the long line of depressed ponies in front of him. In one hand he clutched a small detonator with his thumb just inches over the shiny red button; in the other he held a giant sack with the word 'Swag' on it, which was quickly being filled by the valuables of the rich folk.

Stallions grudgingly relinquished their high class monocles, golden cufflinks, any spare bits, and priceless hand- I mean hoof- made watches. The ladies, however, were much more difficult with handing over their exorbitant jewelry and over priced bling. Many were bawling their eyes out, mascara running down their dejected faces.

"Please, no!" begged a simply dressed mare that seemed to be a middle class citizen instead of a high class member. Resting in her shaking hoof was an exquisitely jeweled necklace; red sapphires along with gold topaz overlain over a beautifully encrusted golden necklace design. "This was my grandmother's. This is all I have to remember her by."

The Joker snatched the necklace out of the mare's hoof, grinning evilly. "Now you can remember the time I stole your dead grandmother's necklace. Enjoy the memory," While the mare cried her eyes out the Joker continued to collect valuables from the crowd.

Twilight, along with a furious Shining Armor, sat by Celestia's side, whose condition seemed to have stabilized. The mad grin was still plastered on her face, despite the fact she she stopped wheezing for each breath, but her unblinking yellow ringed eyes and persistent drooling still worried the two.

"Twily," Shining began, "this is all my fault. If I had only kept a better eye on that maniac, then none of this would have happened."

"No Shining, it's my fault," Twilight said to her brother. "I was the one who taught him the potion that made us powerless."

"Actually, this is all my fault," interrupted a downcast Pinkie Pie.

"What are you talking about Pinkie?" asked a curious Twilight.

"Well, the reason the windows are blocked was because I thought the Joker was going to cover them with shades so he can do a puppet show for everypony. And for the doors, he told me he was installing a new locks so no one would steal the cake."

"And you believed him!" yelled Shining.

Pinkie's lower lip quivered and her puffy hair fell straight down. "B-but there w-was going to be a p-puppet show and everyone w-was g-going to have a fun time..." Finally she gave into her emotions and silently sobbed while tears raced down her face.

Twilight went to her friend and tried to comfort her by patting her back. "You didn't have to yell at her," Twilight said, glaring at Shining.

Shining attempted to argue, but he soon realized it was useless. The trio sat in silence next to their fallen Princess, hopelessness falling over them.

"Well, that was fun!" The ponies' ears perked up at the sound of the Joker's voice. Swinging the now full bag of 'Swag' over his shoulder, he made his way with a mirthful bounce in his step to the trio. "What's the matter folks? Not enjoying the party?" he asked, laughing loudly.

Shining got up and growled, but a gentle hoof on his shoulder from Twilight stopped him. "How could you, Joker?" asked Twilight. "We give you hospitality, understanding, and friendship. What I don't understand is why you would throw that all away for some trinkets and bits."

"You wanna know why I did it," the Joker said, wagging his index finger. "Because I can! Hahahahahahahaha!" The confused looks from all three ponies only brought more laughter to the Joker. "You obviously haven't known me long enough to get that. Whenever I go to a party, this happens!"

"Seriously? Every party you attend you mug everybody?" Twilight asked.

"Not all the time. Sometimes I bomb the place, put poison in the cake, go in there guns ablazing, and I even dropped a lion in one time to see who would last the longest. It sure wasn't the tubby ones, I can tell you that! Hahahahaahahah!"

Revulsion filled each pony, but the Joker took no notice and kept on laughing. Turning to the crowd, the Joker gave a bow. "I must thank you all for a truly spectacular night! Out of all my hostage crowds, you have been the must compliant! I didn't even have to bludgeon anyone! So, it is with a heavy heart that I must depart, with a rhyme to boot!"

"Not so fast!" shouted a fast moving rainbow streak. The streak landed in front of the Joker, revealing itself as an enraged Rainbow Dash. "You have nowhere to go Joker!"

"Actaully, my exit is right there!" he said, pointing his thumb behind himself to the open balcony doors.

"That's not what I mean! You can't possibly escape fast enough with that giant sack of loot!"

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong my gay rights mane colored friend. For I have my golden ticket outta here!" Flipping the detonator over revealed another button, this one a light blue. Pressing it caused every pony in the room to jump in fear and run towards the walls to avoid the gas. But instead of the toxic gas being released, a different event happened entirely.

A large square panel in the middle of the balcony floor opened up, and a vehicle rose out of its depths. It resembled somewhat of the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000 the girls saw when the Flim Flam brothers visited Ponyville. Althought this one was much smaller, less flashy and more sleek, and colored purple. The biggest change would have to be a giant smiling clown's face closely resembling the Joker's on the front of the locomotive.

"Ain't she a beaut? Finished her up in only a couple of days with a limited amount of parts, and in secret too! None the less, I got's ta go! So long suckers!" The Joker hopped into the front seat and activated the strange vehicle, smoke pouring out of its numerous pipes. Giving one last laugh he drove off the balcony, crashing through the hand- dammit, hoof rails and falling to the fast approaching ground.

Everypony gave a gasp of surprise, but were even more shocked when they saw the Joker's vehicle floating downward with parachutes. Grinding her teeth in anger, Dash levitated high above the ground to address the crowd of agitated ponies. "We can't let him get away! We need to capture that psychopath before he can cause anymore trouble. Wonderbolts, follow me!"

Before Dash could fly off in chase of the Joker, a tug from her tail told her Applejack was once again holding her back. "Hold it sugarcube," Applejack said through a mouthful of rainbow hair. "We still got all these ponies to get outta here. We just can't abandon them!"

"That's right Applejack," Twilight trotted next to the orange pony. "The Wonderbolts will be preoccupied flying ponies to the ground, before the Joker's gas bombs set off."

The Wonderbolts eagerly nodded and prepared for the duty of flying a huge group of nobles down to the ground in a short amount of time. A difficult task, even for Equestria's top notch flying force.

Dash pulled herself out of Applejack's grip and flew out the door, not before shouting over her shoulder, "I got to stop him! You guys deal with the crowd!" She was already hot on the Joker's trail before her friends could stop her.

"I hope she'll be okay," Twilight said.

A hoof wrapped around her shoulder, Applejack giving Twilight a friendly pat on the shoulder. "Ah'm sure she'll be fine Twi. The Joker is the one you should be worried bout. When that mare gets her hooves on em, kablamo!"

Twilight was comforted slightly by her friends words. But the sudden sound of emergency alarms all across the palace and city only heightened her fear.

"Oh, what a wonderful night for a drive!" the Joker cried, running over everything in his path. Even though the biggest social event of the year was taking place, many ponies still went out on a fun night of their own if they didn't have the connections to get into the Gala. Unlucky for them, they decided to go out when a deranged psychotic clown decided to go for a midnight drive. Blood was splattered along the car's grinning face.

"Hold it Joker!" yelled Dash, having finally caught up with the clown. Even in the dull light of the moon her rainbow streak glowed brilliantly and trailed behind her beautifully.

"Well this has definitely gotten more fun! Time to up the playing fields! Time to be..." The Joker stuck a fake pencil moustache on his face, and began twirling it wickedly. "Dastardly! Muhahahahahahahaha!"

Reaching into one of the pockets of his jacket, he pulled out an oversized gun with a boxing glove attached to the end. He pulled the trigger, which caused the boxing glove to shoot out at incredible speeds at the approaching mare.

Rainbow Dash was astonished that a boxing glove of all things was about to make a painful impact with her face, but at the last second she used her superior speed to dodge it. "Ha, is that all you got you stupid clown!" Dash boasted.

"Looks like you didn't get the punchline!" the Joker shouted back. Dash was baffled at what the Joker meant, but a crash from the back of her head answered instead. The boxing glove hit Dash in the back of her noggin on the way back to its spring on the Joker's gun. Dash lay in the streets, knocked out cold.

Suddenly a sound could be heard from the palace. Alarms were being rung, trumpets could be heard, and shortly afterward an entire platoon of pegasi could be seen over the city.

The platoon of pagasi quickly discovered the Joker's location, his fast moving locomotive a big eye sore in the empty streets. The platoon dropped down to street level, only a couple of yards behind the Joker. "Looks like they want to ruin my fun. Can't have any of that!" the Joker yelled, pulling down a long switch next to his seat. Black oil spilled from a compartment on the back of the vehicle, the toxic smelling residue spreading across the street. Of course, the pegasi were unaffected since they hovered over the oil's path.

"When in doubt, burn it to the ground! Hahahahahahahahaha!" the Joker laughed, a lighter already lit in is hand. Throwing it up in the air, it spun around and around until it landed in the crude inky black oil. It immediately lit up, the Joker's trail now ablaze and causing the pegasi to abandon their ground based position. Already homes and store fronts were in flames, with the road a literal highway to hell.

"Some men just want to watch the world burn! Bwahahahahahahaha!" the Joker's maniacal laughter was cut off when he saw the exit to the city. Which was blocked by at least fifty troops, most unicorns with their horns glowing brightly with magic.

"Oh this will never do," the Joker said, standing up from his seat. "A welcoming party and not a smile to be found. I know how to fix that," Reaching into the bottomless pocket of his pants, he hauled a giant bazooka out and rested it on his shoulder. "Enjoy the gift kiddies! Its been hand wrapped just for you!"

The bazooka went off, an huge rocket with a familiar face painted on it flying in the air to the patrol. Guards jumped out of the way while others tried to erect force fields, but these stood no chance to the rocket's explosive power. Passing the broken patrol of guards, the Joker was in the clear, having made it past the city gates. That is, until a dazzling purple light destroyed his locomotive.

The Joker was head first in some dirt, his getaway vehicle now a charred scrap heap. The sound of hoofs on the ground soon ended near Joker's face. A magical force lifted him in the air, where he was face to face with a clearly pissed of Princess of the Moon, Luna. The Joker hastily placed a pair of dorky reading glasses on his face and asked, "You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses, would you?"

The hoof connecting painfully with his grinning face that crushed the glasses was a suitable answer. Next was the lack of oxygen to his lungs, likely the result of Luna's magic chocking his neck. But this mattered not to the Joker, for he laughed all the same. Even when chocking he laughs, the only one getting the gag.

The Princess wanted to keep up the pressure, make his eyes bulge out and his laughter to finally end, but she knew she couldn't take that final step. Not yet anyway.

The telekinetic hold on his neck was released and the Joker could finally speak again. "Temper temper Loonypoo *cough*, what would Celestia say *cough* about this? Evidently nothing of course *cough*, since she isn't in the talking mood right about *hack*!" Luna was once again strangling the clown, blood running down from his nose and mouth.

After a good minute of wringing his thin neck, Luna teleported to the palace. There she was met by multiple guards who took one look at the laid Joker and leveled every spear they had inches away from his face. "Well if it isn't the troopers. Gave you a real scare for your money there, didn't I? Hahahahahaha!" the Joker said.

"Shut it Joker!" Luna decreed, lifting him off the floor and too her eyes. "You better pray my sister is okay, or else I'll put you through a fate far worse than death."

"We're going to get married?" the Joker hopefully asked.

Luna chose to ignore this statement and instead dragged him down a hallway with two unicorn guards trailing to a giant wooden door. Opening the door revealed a set of dark steps leading to a dungeon of some kind. Walking down the spiral staircase with the Joker still floating along, they finally reached the dungeon floor.

Luna walked past each cell block, the dungeon surprisingly clean and neat. Choosing the cell at the very end of the room, she threw the Joker in, his back smacking the mortar wall. Struggling to his feet, he was whisked upward. Chains attached to the wall sprung out and cuffs locked together on his wrists. He slumped down, his bottom hitting the ground and his arms unmoving.

"You'll stay nice and tight right here. After Celestia recovers and your mess is cleaned up, we will both personally deal with you. It won't be pleasant," Turning to the two unicorn guards she says, "I want you two posted outside the dungeon door at all times. No one comes in or out. Got it?"

Both unicorns saluted and shouted, "Yes your majesty!"

Luna gave one more hateful glare at the Joker, but was unable to distinguish his expression since it was hidden in shadows, so she left with the guards. Before departing, she said over her shoulder to the prone clown, "Have a pleasant night Joker, in an unescapable cell awaiting trial for the multiple crimes you committed. I'll make sure you pay, if it's the last thing I do," Soon it was just the Joker left, all alone in his cell. And hidden in the shadows was his ghastly grin spreading all across his face.

The words unescapable cell reverberated in his twisted mind. He pulled lightly on the chains and stared at the door. "Too easy," he whispered, the smile of demonic delight never leaving his face.