All was lost.

The Storm King, terrible and great, arrived with a fleet of ships and swiftly conquered Canterlot. Again.

While Canterlot was still catching its breath from the defeat of a lesser would-be conqueror, he swooped in that very night and made short work of the city. Because unlike so many other villains, he actually learned from his defeat.

Gone were the yeti subordinates, strong but too susceptible to trickery, pastries, and armchair psychology. The second time he came with golems; unyielding in both fortitude and obedience.

Gone was the pony subordinate with a dark past to betray in in the eleventh hour. The second time he had no general and trusted all decisions to none but himself.

Gone was the grand and pompous entry inciting fear and panic in the streets to secure his supremacy. The second time he arrived in the cloak of night and affected his takeover before anypony even knew what was happening.

But most importantly, the key difference where all other villains had failed: he re-evaluated his opponents. Specifically, a group of six seemingly ordinary mares (sans one obviously extraordinary princess with dragon attaché) who had near singledhoofedly managed to organize a rebellion and turn his own forces against him in his first invasion. This time, he afforded them just as much consideration as he did the Princesses. He had mercenaries snatch them from their homes and lock them away hours before he even entered the country. This time, there were no aspiring heroes. This time... he won.

Twilight Sparkle and her friends (who were, to no one's surprise, the ponies in question) woke up in a stone cell. Of course, the first thing they had done upon awakening was attempt to escape, but the Storm King had taken that into consideration. The walls were high with only slit windows far too thin to crawl through. The pegasi of their group confirmed the world beyond their cell: They found themselves at the top of a tower, located on a small sandy island with nothing but open water visible for miles in every direction. The passage beyond their cell was another prison in itself. Every hallway and floor of the tower was a labyrinth of death traps. Magical buzzsaws and swinging pendulum blades. Collapsing platforms over spiked pits and skin-eating chameleons that hid in the walls. The door to their cell was unlocked; a taunt by the King to go ahead and just try to escape, knowing full well what fate would befall them if they did.

The fact that he spelled this all out for them in a terse yet professionally worded memo, accompanied by cheeky photos of himself posing in their homes and next to the Princesses petrified in their beds, was just the icing on the cruelty cake.

And so, out of both hope and ideas, they sat or slouched or fidgetted around their cell as dark thoughts of the fates of their friends and families back home flitted through their minds like flocks of bats.

"There has to be something we can try!" Rainbow Dash pressed, never one to take the word 'impossible' at face value. "We could... break the walls down."

"Tried that," Applejack replied, "Like bucking steel."

"Okay. Then... we can blast through with magic!"

Twilight sighed, her ears and eyes both drooping. "These walls aren't just stone, they're solid slabs of maudite. Magic repels off it like water on rubber. Not even basic levitation spells affect it."

"Then.... then..." her pacing stuttered as she found the tempo hard to keep as her well of ideas started to run dry. "Oh! What about Spike? He can call for help with his firemail!"

"Same problem," the dragon replied. He took the Storm King's memo and burned it. The smoke rose into the air, circled the room twice, then flew back down into his throat where he coughed the paper back out. "Yech, that stings. Besides, who would we even call? He already got the Princesses."

"We don't know just the Princesses," she rebutted. "We have friends all over Equestria. Surely somepony can help us."

Suddenly, Pinkie gasped and her straightening mane sproinged back to bouncy fullness. "That's it! I know! I have a friend who might be able to help us! All I have to do is call her." She scrunched up her face in intense concentration.

Twilight sighed. "It's no use, Pinkie. Even if you know somepony who could help, what good does it do us? Maudite is absolutely magically impenetrable, and I doubt the mail services this remote island. It's-"

Pinkie leaped.

"-no good and... What in Equestria is that!?"

Pinkie stepped aside to reveal a small strange creature that certainly hadn't been there a moment before. Its face was like that of a pony, but its bipedal body was barely as tall as a foal. It had a cheery blue vest and wore a pointed red cap between its ears.

"Is it a goblin?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"An elf?' guessed Fluttershy.

"Neither" the creature cried, it's voice high and chipper. "Oi'm a gnome!"

"A gnome?" Twilight repeated incredulously, "There's no such thing."

"An' yet, here Oi am." The creature held the hem of its blue skirt and gave a short curtsey. "Oi be the one called Annette von Hallaphen von Filbertus von Drusselstein von Lorepsinitus, at yer service. But you ken call me Anne."

"Y'know," Applejack began, "at this point Ah ain't even surprised that Pinkie is friends with a creature of myth and legend."

"We met on that vacation trip I won to Haywaii." Pinkie supplied helpfully. "She's the spirit of the island."

Anne nodded. "That Oi am. An' a right good one t'boot."

"There was this whole thing with some volcano worshippers and real estate developers and rogue ancient spirits that I got wrapped up in, and yadda yadda yadda we became besties!" Pinkie grabbed Anne is a one-forelegged hug. "Isn't that right?"

"A'course," Anne replied, returning the gesture. "Miss Pinkie here helped me out of a real tight jam, that she did. Why, the whole island might not be here today if it weren't for her."

"Sorry to interrupt your reunion," Rarity cut in, "And do excuse me if this comes off as rude, but if you are the spirit of the Haywaiian island... why do you sound like you're from the Bittish Isles?"

"That's me mum!" Anne said cheerfully. "Folks say Oi take after her. You ever been?"

"Er, yes, actually." Rarity replied, "Once when I was younger. Lovely place."

Anne tipped her hat. "Thank'ee kindly. Oi'll let 'er know. She always lurves a bit 'o praise. But yer right; enough with the niceties. Oi doubt Miss Pinkie called me out fer a social call."

"Oh, right!" Pinkie said as she also remembered the fact that they were locked in a tower by a villain who'd taken over their home. "We're in big trouble Anne. Here, take a look at this."

She handed her the Storm King's memo. As Anne started to read, Twilight finally freed herself from her stupor and rejoined the conversation. "Wait, back up. The fact that you're a mythical being I can just about accept, you're far from the first we've met, but how in Celestia's name did you get in? No magic can penetrate these walls."

"Weren't you listening?" Anne replied, still reading. "Oi'm an island. We're all connected. If there's a spit o' land in the sea, Oi can be there. Continents are harder; too big y'see. Got real powerful spirits. Had an uncle who stayed shoreside too long an' got absorbed into the bigger spirit. His whole island crumbled into the sea without him."

"And that's how Marelantis was unmade." Pinkie finished.

The gnome let out a low whistle as she finished reading. "Ooh, you're in a right spot of trouble, that you is. Oi can't do much about this Stormy Boyo of yers, but fer getting out of here? You called the right gnome fer the job."

She jumped up onto Pinkie's back, bounced off her head, and landed on Fluttershy's back. "Get the door fer me, would ya lass?" At her request, the door was opened. Blades glinted menacingly from all angles as they whirred and shifted. Anne turned back for a moment and gave Pinkie a wink. "You were right to call me. Now, watch and behold. Yer old friend Anne has got you covered!"

She rubbed her hands together, magical sparks shimmering like stardust. The power built for a minute and then...she clapped.

And everything stopped.

Blades froze in place. Pendulums froze mid-swing. Even violent animals halted mid-jump.

"Oi suggest you go right quickly," Anne said to her dumbstruck audience. "Oi can't hold this more'n a few minutes."

No one needed to be told twice. They dashed from the room, ducking under frozen blades and flying over snake-filled pits as quickly as safety would allow. In four minutes flat, the troupe made it to the beach, having just completed the world's deadliest escape room.

"Well done," Anne applauded politely from Fluttershy's back. She'd stayed behind in the cell, but now returned out of nowhere. "I'll just let this tick back on then." She clapped again and the sound of whirring blades and snarling animals resumed in the tower.

"What amazing magic..." Twilight murmured as the group spread out.

Aside from the tower, the island was bare. No buildings, no jetties, no boats. Not even a solitary palm tree.

"Now what?" Rainbow Dash asked. "We're outside, but we're still trapped. I might be able to fly out if I knew which way land was, but there's no way I could bring all you along."

"No problem!" Anne cheered, drawing all attention back towards herself, something which was rapidly becoming a pattern, "That before, now that was a challenge. But this? Won't be more than a parlor trick." She turned to face the sea. Once more she rubbed her hands together, generating scintillating sparks, and clapped. This time, the only ocean before her stopped. A pathway formed from stilled water, fifty hooves wide and reaching out to the horizon. Curious, Rainbow Dash hovered over the immobile water. She poked it, pressed a hoof against it, and then landed fully on the ocean's surface.

"It's solid!"

"As solid as any land." Anne agreed before turning back to the others. "And that should stay solid till Oi says otherwise. It should lead you straightlike to the nearest continent. Oi wish Oi could do more but-"

"You've done plenty, Anne!" Pinkie enthused, hoisting up her smaller friend into a bear hug. "There's no way we ever could have gotten out of there if it wasn't for you!"

"Alright, alright, Oi gets it!" Anne wriggled out of the hug. "Just give me the usual sign when you get across and Oi'll undo the spell. And remember Miss Pinkie, anytime you needs me, well, you know what to do."

Pinkie nodded. "Right. Thanks Anne!" There was a flash and a pop, and the gnome was gone. Pinkie turned back to her friends. "Well? What are we waiting for? We've got an Equestria to save!"

Before anyone could comment she dashed off atop the road of solidified water. After a confused second of hesitation, the others followed, some more willing than others to try trotting atop liquid water.

"This is weird..." Applejack muttered uneasily, her hooves kicking up tiny splashes.

"This is strange..." Added Fluttershy, who half-hovered half-ran.

"This is amazing!" Twilight gushed, analyzing the stilled water beneath her hooves even as she ran. "I wish we could have met under better circumstances so I could learn more about her. I've never even heard of powerful magic like this before."

"It's not that unusual," Pinkie replied easily, "After all, everyone knows that time and tide wait for Gnome Anne."

Remember: Only the pun at the very end of the story counts for the contest! This here is just good fun to keep you all engaged while I weave a tapestry of intrigue and misdirection.