Breathe, Rainbow Dash.

Fluttershy's gentle voice eased her mind as she visibly relaxed. Dash's trained ear could hear little, save for the sound of her own heartbeat. She dove low to the ground, leveling herself out just as the crowd grew nervous. Rainbow Dash simply grinned.

"Give it all you got, Crash!" Spitfire bellowed as the rest of the formation broke away, leaving Dash alone in the spotlight.

Her grin widened. This is what she’d trained her entire life for, being in the limelight like this with the harsh wind whipping through her mane. She climbed high into the sky before dropping out of the air without warning, now entirely in freefall.

Just… breathe.

Boom!

Nigh impossible velocity, blinding light, dull ringing—Dash was propelled by the blast as she painted the world with a spectrum of color. A rivulet of sweat trickled down the side of her head as she gradually slowed down, eventually digging herself into the dirt and coming to a standstill as the crowd chanted her name.

“Rainbow Dash! Rainbow Dash!”

She let out a satisfied sigh. This was what life was all about as far as she was concerned, and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Dash!”

She perked up at the sound of a voice calling her name. Rainbow Dash held one wing over her face and peered off into the distance. Scootaloo was galloping toward her as Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom failed to match her stride.

“Rainbow Dash, that was amazing! You’re amazing!” Scootaloo panted as she beamed with excitement.

“I think I prefer being awesome,” Dash replied, ruffling the top of Scootaloo’s mane. “I’m glad the three of you came out today.”

“Are you kidding? Scootaloo would’ve killed us if we didn’t show up. She’s been fawning over you more than usual lately,” Sweetie Belle said.

“I wasn’t fawning,” Scootaloo mumbled as heat rose in her face.

“Definitely fawning,” Apple Bloom whispered in Dash’s ear, causing her to chuckle.

“Rainbow?”

Dash’s smile faded as she recognized the sound of the melody, blankly staring over at the mare. It was her, the same mare Dash hadn’t seen in over a month.

“Fluttershy.”

A moment of silence fell between them, neither pegasus moving an inch.

“I think we should give ‘em some space, Scootaloo,” Apple Bloom said, turning away as Sweetie Belle giggled at the pair.

Warmth enveloped Dash’s lithe frame. “I missed you so much,” Fluttershy said, burying her muzzle into her lover’s mane.

“I missed you, too.”

Silence was pretty unusual for Dash, though right now it was a welcome change of pace. Other than the occasional critter that scurried across the cottage floor, it was comfortably quiet, and she relished the intimate company.

Fluttershy broke the silence with a little yawn, laying her head on Dash’s chest as the two lounged on the living room sofa. It was funny; even though she had never officially moved out of her house, Dash spent more time here than anywhere else in her life.

“I love you.”

Rainbow Dash felt her breath catch in her throat as Fluttershy purred from the affection. It had been a long time since Dash had heard that particular phrase.

“Say it again,” Dash said, giving a low, husky growl.

“I love—” Fluttershy squeaked as Dash nipped the underside of her wing, a heavy blush blossoming across her face. “R-Rainbow! Really, r-right now?”

She responded with a soft, yet firm kiss, parting Fluttershy’s hair and staring through her, admiring the endless blue sea therein.

“It might be a while before I get the chance to see you again,” Dash said, inhaling the scent of Fluttershy’s mane. It smelled like the vanilla shampoo she often used. It was more exhilarating than any race Dash could’ve flown in.

“When are you leaving?”

“What?”

“I said, when are you leaving?” Fluttershy repeated, her grip on Dash tightening ever so slightly. “I just… wanted to spend a lot more time with you, that’s all.”

Rainbow Dash bit her lip, then sighed. “I-I have to leave tomorrow.”

“I see…”

“You understand, right?” Dash matched Fluttershy’s frown. “I wasn’t even supposed to stick around today. Spitfire made an exception just for me.”

“I do understand, Rainbow. You’re a Wonderbolt, after all. I would never want to take that life away from you.”

An awkward silence filled the gap. Dash rubbed the nape of her neck as Fluttershy continued.

“Just please promise that you’ll visit me again as soon as possible. I miss you already, and I don’t know if I’d be able to bear it if you leave for as long as you did last time.”

Guilt nearly overwhelmed Dash as she stopped herself from shaking in place. “I will. I promise.”

“And one more thing?”

“W-what?”

“Will you still spend the night with me?”

A smile formed on Dash’s face. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Rainbow Dash was bored.

It wasn’t even the complacent boredom that she’d grown accustomed to with habitual flight practice. No, this boredom had a mix of loneliness and urgency attached to it. It was driving her crazy.

She packed as little as possible, taking only the bare minimum with her. It was Friday, and she only had this one weekend off. She had to make it count.

“Hey, Dash. I’m kind of in the mood for a drink, do you want to—” Spitfire raised a brow as she eyed Dash’s bag. “You’re leaving? Where are you heading off to?”

“I’m going to visit Ponyville. Is that a problem?”

Spitfire chuckled, leaning up against the frame of the door. “No, not really. I just didn’t expect you to leave so soon, but that’s fine.”

“What did you need?”

“I was going to ask if you wanted to go to the bar with me, but it’s all good.”

Dash tilted her head, a puzzled expression forming on her face. “Why don’t you ask Soarin’ instead of me? Wouldn't he be down for it?”

“No, he wouldn’t. A filly could handle liquor better than Soarin’ does, and that’s not an exaggeration.”

“Sweet Celestia, that is bad.”

“Tell me about it,” Spitfire said, shaking her head. “Anyway, I wanted to talk to you outside of practice for once, but it can wait. I understand that you have somewhere else to be.”

“I…” Rainbow Dash averted her gaze. “Maybe—”

No! What am I thinking? I can’t be considering this! What is wrong with me?

...

She slumped over, sighing as she idly flexed one wing. It really had been a while since she talked to anyone outside of training, mostly favoring shutting herself away to read Daring Do, or working out at the gym alone. Dash hadn’t even entertained the thought that Spitfire actually wanted to spend time with her.

I just can’t let my friend down like that. I just… can’t.

“O-okay, I’ll go.”

It wasn’t optimal. By agreeing to this, though, she could still spend time with both Spitfire and Fluttershy in the same weekend. It’d be like killing two pegasi with one stone!

Wait— no. Wrong expression.

Spitfire peered at Dash over the rim of her aviators. “Are you sure? You don’t seem all that excited.”

“Let’s ditch this joint before I change my mind, Spitfire.”

She smiled. “Now that’s the Dash I know and love! It’s a club I found not too far from the academy. You’ll like it, I promise.”

Rainbow Dash matched Spitfire’s smile as best she could, though the nagging voice in the back of her head told her everything she needed to know.

Just please promise that you’ll visit me again as soon as possible.

I will. I promise.

“Hey there, sugar. You’re lookin’ real sexy tonight. I wonder what’s at the other end of the rainbow?”

Dash scoffed. “You look like the better half of you landed on your mother’s chest instead.”

The stallion grumbled to himself, though he kept talking anyway, much to Dash’s chagrin. “So I guess that’s a no?”

“The door’s right over there.” Dash pointed at the exit with her hoof. “Don’t trip over your ego on your way out.”

“…Whatever.”

And with that, the stallion stood up from his stool with a huff of indignation, making as much noise as he possibly could on the way out. That was the third pony to hit on her tonight; the first two gave up shortly after Dash had not-so-subtly hinted at the fact that she wasn’t interested in anyone, especially not a stallion.

She downed another shot, shuddering as liquid fire singed her esophagus, the alcohol only compounding the fuzzy feeling that had long since taken effect.

Spitfire giggled. “Sweet Celestia, Dash. That was pretty cold.”

“He had it coming, just like the rest of ‘em.”

“Still, that was brutal, even for you.”

“I guess,” Dash chuckled. She grimaced as she felt her head throb once again, the background noise of the club doing little to aid her growing headache. Just then, a new song began playing over the speaker, one that she wasn’t familiar with.

Spitfire perked up immediately. “I know this song! C’mon, let’s dance!”

Rainbow Dash shot her a deadpan glare. She didn’t know what was more obnoxious: Spitfire’s drunken, perky attitude or the music that had no tempo to it. Nevertheless, Dash simply sighed, complying only to appease her friend.

“Fine.”

She hoisted herself up, gulping down yet another shot despite her body’s incessant protesting. The world seemed to tilt at an awkward angle as Dash found it increasingly difficult to maintain her balance. She leaned against the bar counter, trying her best to avoid falling over right then and there.

“Here, let me—”

“I got it,” Dash replied, taking one step forward before tripping over her other forehoof.

Spitfire caught Dash just before she hit the floor, shooting the tipsy pegasus a coy grin as she held Dash upright. “You were saying?”

“Oh, shut up! I don’t drink very often, alright?”

“You don’t say,” Spitfire murmured as she practically dragged the two of them across the dance floor.

“Spitfire?”

“What?”

“If I can’t even stand up straight, how do you expect me to dance?”

Spitfire grunted as she propped Dash up against her, both of them now seeing eye-to-eye. “I guess you’ll just have to lean against me.”

“Not you too,” Dash groaned. “That’s a stupid idea.”

“It’s a very stupid idea, hence why we’re doing it. You want to have fun, right?”

Dash playfully rolled her eyes. “Okay fine, I’ll bite.”

It took them a minute to get into a rhythm, their pacing slow and heavy, matching the beat of the song. It dawned on Dash that this wasn't the typical fast-paced EDM trash that someone would hear at a club; any onlooker would likely confuse them as a couple at first glance.

"I wanted to thank you," Spitfire said, just loud enough for Dash to hear. "I don't get out much, with training at the academy taking up most of my time."

Her headache had cleared up, though the world around her was becoming less and less defined; color muddled with sound as Spitfire's warm, bated breath brought her back to reality. They were closer now, much closer.

Dash blushed. "N-no problem."

“I knew you’d be a Wonderbolt. As soon as I saw you at the academy for the first time, I was sure you’d make it.”

Dash didn’t reply, completely and utterly transfixed on Spitfire’s ember mane, which glowed vibrantly against the club’s picturesque, dichromatic lighting. This was Dash’s idol, the one she’d revered since she was a filly, standing before her and actively praising her. If she wasn’t already high as a kite, this would’ve done it.

“D-Dash?” Spitfire gulped, her breathing heavier than before. “I…”

“Spitfire, I can’t—”

Dash couldn’t finish the sentence. Spitfire closed the gap, holding the cyan pegasus close as they rocked to and fro upon the dance floor. Rainbow Dash was lost in the moment; any memory of earlier that day was promptly tucked under her wing. The only thing on her mind now was the bittersweet taste of alcohol on Spitfire’s tongue.

They stayed stock-still for what felt like an eternity, neither of them wanting to interrupt the manic bliss they’d induced. Eventually, Spitfire broke the kiss with a heaving breath. They desperately sucked in air, a thin strand of saliva still connecting the pair.

“Dash?”

“Y-yes?”

“Let’s head back to my bedroom.”

Dash paused a brief second before answering. “O-okay.”

Just please promise that you’ll visit me again as soon as possible.

… I will.

Rainbow Dash woke up feeling refreshed, and with more energy than she had the previous day.

She yawned and shifted in bed, not wanting to see the sun this early in the morning. Instead, she opted to bury her face in her lover’s mane as she often did, smiling as the familiar scent of vanilla greeted her.

“Morning, Dash.”

Her smile vanished in an instant, an icy pit forming in the bottom of her stomach. She lurched back, falling off the bed and slamming into the closet door in the most dramatic fashion. One question repeated itself over and over again in her mind.

Why?

“Dash, are you alright?” Spitfire adjusted herself to get a better look at the bewildered mare. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

All the color had drained from Dash’s face. She was hyperventilating now, her body twitching. As far as Dash was concerned, she was the ghost.

“Y— I… no.”

“Do you… need help?” Spitfire offered, genuine concern laced in her voice.

“N-no! I-I have to leave,” Dash sputtered, standing up and wobbling as her vision started to blur.

Spitfire’s voice no longer registered. Dash bolted out the door, not wanting to look back, flying as fast as she could back to her home in Ponyville.

Her memory of last night had returned to her, and the guilt came with it. Every minute that passed felt like an hour, her willpower degrading rapidly as she reached her house in record time. Dash cursed under her breath, slamming the front door, gasping for breath as she paced back and forth in the foyer.

What is wrong with me? Why am I so stupid?

It wasn’t long before the aching pain and nausea caught up, too. Dash rushed to her bathroom, retching while trying her hardest not to cry. She wasn’t trying hard enough.

This is all my fault.

Somber silence passed, the hole in her chest growing as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her reflection didn’t stare back.

…

Crack!

Dash growled as she split the mirror in half, ignoring the pain she felt when a shard of glass embedded itself within her hoof. This day was going by fast, far too fast for her to comprehend any of it, and she continued to suffer through it with each passing moment. She sighed, falling onto the cumulus floor with a soft thump. Dash would’ve knocked herself out cold had the floor been made of tile, though being unconscious was definitely preferable at this point.

You have to tell her.

She shook her head in fervor, repulsed by the very notion.

I can’t do that! This is Fluttershy we’re talking about; she’d be destroyed!

You’d be destroying yourself by keeping this a secret. Is this really a lie you want to live?

Dash winced. This wasn’t a mental battle she could win against herself. The idea of confessing to Fluttershy filled her with an absolute dread, but deep down, she knew she didn’t have a choice. If she didn’t say anything, it would only get worse for everyone involved.

Rainbow Dash couldn’t let that happen.

She had to tell Fluttershy the truth.

Just please promise that you’ll visit me again as soon as possible.

…

Fluttershy’s cottage: once a second home, now a grave. Dash gulped, her saliva like sawdust going down her throat, the acrid taste also present.

Breathe, Rainbow Dash.

A distorted voice rattled around the inside of her head. She took one intrepid step forward, her trembling visibly apparent, but she never stopped moving.

Just… breathe.

Every inch felt like a mile, and every breath she took felt like her last, but she never stopped moving.

She couldn’t stop moving.

“I’m sorry,” Dash mumbled, hesitantly tapping on the front door with her bandaged hoof.

All was silent, save for the stray breeze that blew through her mane, before the door creaked open.

“R-Rainbow Dash?” Fluttershy frowned, staring down at Dash’s wound. “Your hoof! Are you alright?”

“I-it’s nothing, I swear. Look… can I come in?”

Fluttershy blinked once, the frown never leaving her face. “Of course. I’ll make us some tea.” She backed away from the door, trotting into the kitchen as Dash awkwardly sat on the living room sofa. She thought back to the last time she was here—it made her heart slam against her chest.

I can’t do this.

“I can’t do this,” Dash repeated, staring at the entrance to the kitchen, listening to Fluttershy as she daintily hummed to herself.

In a minute, Fluttershy would walk out of the kitchen with the traditional ceramic tea set that Dash had given her on their anniversary, blissfully naive of the horrid sin present in the room.

She shook her head; naive wasn’t the right word here. Fluttershy knew that something was wrong—it was written all over Dash’s face. There was no way to hide it.

“I’m so glad you came by, Rainbow!” Fluttershy chirped, carefully balancing a sterling silver tray on her back as she emerged from the kitchen. “You didn’t tell me you were coming—such a lovely surprise~”

Dash twitched. She had planned to surprise Fluttershy on purpose. She wanted to take Fluttershy out for dinner as soon she came back from the academy.

This was a mistake.

Her stomach turned as the scent of vanilla invaded her nose. Fluttershy was frowning again.

“Rainbow, what’s wrong? You’ve been acting… odd, ever since you got here.”

Dash’s mouth parted slightly, then closed again. She looked at everything but Fluttershy, scanning the room for any way out of this mess.

No such luck.

“I… I made a mistake, Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy seemed to relax at that remark. “That’s not a problem. Just tell me what happened so I can help you fix it.”

Dash consciously steadied her breath, holding one hoof with the other. “That’s— it’s not something you can help me fix.”

“W-what? Why?”

She sighed. “I… I…”

…

“I cheated on you.”

“…” Fluttershy stiffened up. The air hung stagnant, a sickly miasma in a room full of once-vibrant life. There was no sound in the cottage.

“I… see,” Fluttershy said, standing up and pointing at the door. “Please leave.”

“…What?”

“Please, don’t make me ask again,” Fluttershy replied, her voice cracking. “Just go.”

Whack!

Rainbow Dash recoiled as something struck her. She looked down at the culprit. A small white rabbit, Angel, glared up at her with malice.

“A-alright, I-I’ll leave.” Dash backed away from her attacker, refusing to face Fluttershy’s direction as she walked over to the front door.

“Rainbow Dash?”

“Y-yes?”

Fresh tears rolled down Fluttershy’s cheeks as she began to close the door. “Whoever it was, I hope they were worth it.”

Click.

The door locked shut, and Rainbow Dash stood there, alone.

Fuck!

Dash instinctively raised her hoof to knock on the door, but stopped mid-motion.

I’m not getting her back, am I?

She sunk low, turning away from the door. Dash needed to talk to someone, but who would talk to her about something like this?

She needed someone she could trust.

“You’ve got a lotta nerve comin’ here, Rainbow Dash.” Applejack hissed the last syllable, slamming the pegasus against the barn and pinning her to the wall. “Give me one good reason I shouldn’t buck yer teeth in right now.”

“Applejack! Please, let me— urk!”

Her grip tightened around Dash’s throat. “It’s been well over a month since I last saw ya, and you come trottin’ into my orchard to tell me you’ve been a two-timing featherbrain! What do you have to say for yourself?”

“Can’t… breathe.”

“Applejack, you okay?”

A voice called out to them from the distance. Applejack released her hold on Dash, turning around to answer the voice. “Yes, Apple Bloom, we’re fine. We’re just catchin’ up. You run along now.”

“You call this catching up?!” Dash wheezed, gasping for breath as the dust settled around her.

“Well, alright, if you say so.”

Applejack sighed as Apple Bloom disappeared back into the house, glaring at Dash as she shook the dirt off her body.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I just—” Applejack pinched the bridge of her nose with her hoof. “I don’t understand how you can be so Celestia-damned stupid.”

“Look, I made a mistake—”

“A mistake?!” She stomped on the ground. “You didn’t make a mistake, Rainbow Dash. This is far worse than a mistake.”

“What do you want me to say? I messed up, alright?” Dash seethed, now standing less than a hoof-length away from Applejack. “Please, help me fix this. I want to make this right but I don’t know how.”

“Beg.”

“B-beg?”

“You heard me right, beg,” Applejack repeated, prodding her hoof against Dash’s chest. “Ya want her back? Ditch yer pride for once in your life and beg for forgiveness. She ain’t gonna believe you if you make some kind of excuse. No lying, no tricky maneuvers, just tell her exactly what happened.”

“…” Dash scowled, returning the glare that Applejack was giving her. “Only for her, nothing else. She’s worth everything to me, and I’ll do anything I can to fix this.”

“Well, then you have everything sorted, don’t ya? If you don’t mind, I still have work to do. I’m sure you can figure out the rest on your lonesome.”

And with that, Applejack turned away and trotted toward the orchard. After just one step, though, Rainbow Dash spoke up again.

“Hey, Applejack?”

Applejack spun around to face her, the two staring eye to eye. “What?”

“Thanks for the help. I don’t know if I could’ve talked to anyone else about this.”

Applejack’s frown softened. “If she’ll forgive you, I’ll forgive you, sugarcube. Until then, you n’ me are on thin ice. Understand?”

“Yes, I understand.”

“I can do this,” she whispered, pacing back and forth in front of the cottage. “I can do this.”

Her talk with Applejack, albeit brief, was Rainbow Dash’s wake-up call. There really was no substitution for blunt honesty. There’d be no fear, no hesitation, and no doubt that would stop her from talking to Fluttershy. She was prepared this time.

“Rainbow?”

Dash nearly jumped out of her own coat, remaining in the air for a full second before hitting the ground. “F-Fluttershy! I…”

This was not the plan. Why did she open the front door?

“I was about to head to the market when I heard you talking to yourself,” Fluttershy said, awkwardly standing in the doorframe. “What do you want?”

Ditch yer pride for once in your life and beg for forgiveness.

Guilt is like an infection. It’s an injury that when treated properly, will eventually heal as if the damage had never been caused. But with neglect, this guilt will fester, metastasizing like some abominable cancer. And by the time the damage is done, it’s too late to do anything about it.

But… the two of them would never truly heal, not anymore. They’d be forever plagued by a residual pain from a wound that Rainbow Dash had inflicted.

She would suture this wound, one stitch at a time.

“Can we talk? Please?” She straightened her back, bracing herself for when Fluttershy inevitably shut the door on her.

“Okay.”

“I understand— wait, what?”

Fluttershy stepped away from the door, holding it open with one wing. “Please, don’t keep me waiting.”

Dash closed her gaping muzzle. Slowly, she trotted forward as the wind scraped against her back, the chill fading away as the gentle glow of the cottage washed over her. This so-called humble abode felt alien to her, threatening to claw at her very being should she veer away from Fluttershy’s direction.

“Sit.”

Dash did as she was instructed, sitting on the same couch as she had time and time again. Then, silence overtook the room, no animal daring to make a sound.

She cleared her throat, attracting Fluttershy’s attention, and promptly lost her train of thought.

To Tartarus with it.

“It was Spitfire.”

Fluttershy perked up at this. “W-what?”

“It was Spitfire, the Wonderbolt captain,” Dash reiterated, sucking in a sharp breath. “That’s the mare I slept with.”

“O-oh…”

“She wasn’t worth it, Fluttershy. I don’t think I could put a price on anyone that would match the value of you. There’s a piece of you that’s with me, a piece of you that’s a part of me.”

“Rainbow.”

“I got drunk. I was stupid. And I know that that’s not an excuse for what I did, but I think that I tried to justify what I was doing anyway, thinking that it was alright.”

“Rainbow—”

“But it’s not alright, Fluttershy, it’ll never be alright. Because hurting you the way I have isn’t something that deserves to be forgiven. You have every right to hate me.”

“Rainbow Dash!”

Fluttershy lurched forward, wrapping herself around Dash and forming a bundle of feathery warmth. “I am upset and disappointed, but I will never hate you. I don’t think I ever could.”

“But why?”

“Because, silly,” Fluttershy sniffled. “I love you.”

“…W-what?”

“I’ve loved you ever since I met you,” Fluttershy said, failing to keep her voice steady. “Every day that I see you, I’m reminded of the first day I saw you at Flight Camp, of the rainbow-maned filly that didn’t know how to quit.”

“No!” Rainbow Dash jerked back. “I-I’m a m-monster, Fluttershy. I don’t deserve any of this. I don’t deserve you!” She paused for a minute, choking back a sob as her breathing became labored. “I don’t deserve you.”

Fluttershy draped her wing over Dash’s back as she wept freely into Fluttershy’s coat.

“It’s not about whether you deserve me or not~” Fluttershy cooed. “I love you. You know that what you did was wrong, so for me to further punish you for it isn’t going to help either of us. I just want us to love each other. That’s all I ever wanted.”

“Fluttershy, I’m so sorry!” Dash cried, leaning in to kiss her. Though she was stopped by a hoof placed against her muzzle.

“I know you are. I’m sorry, too,” Fluttershy replied with a small, sad smile, taking her hoof off Dash’s mouth. “I don’t really think I’m ready for that kind of affection again. Maybe in time, but not right now.”

“I… I understand. I don’t think I’d ever forgive someone like me after what I’ve done.”

"I think I'll be able to forgive you, under one condition."

"What?"

Fluttershy released a deep breath. "You'll promise me that you'll never, ever do anything like this again."

Dash didn't hesitate. "I promise."

"Good, because if you do it again… I won't have a heart left to break."

Author's Notes:

I want to thank everyone who helped me write this story. I'd also like to thank Dustin for creating this contest and helping me find inspiration to write this.

But most importantly, I'd like to thank everyone who took the time read this.

Let me know what you thought of the story down below!