Hi. I'm Twilight Sparkle. I have a PHD in many different subjects. Be it in mathematics, astronomy, physics, and general science, I suppose you could say that I've outdone myself.

But let me say this right here and now. Life is not easy. In fact, most of the time, life can be a piece of shit unless you take it by the horns and learn to control it. If you don't act when you're given the opportunity, you might end up not being able to do anything at all. And let's be honest here; NO-ONE wants to live like that.

While school, finding a job, and climbing the ladder were hard, they were nothing compared to what I've had to deal with. You might think that I've been bullied, or that the odds seemed impossible, or that I was far too deep in my head to possibly succeed at life, but it's none of those things. In fact, what's really been taxing me a lot isn't the ever-climbing costs of gas, water, and electricity. When you hear my story, you'll know exactly what bullshit I have to put up with.

After spending some time with Flash Sentry; captain of the Canterlot Football team, we started travelling the world together. He took me to so many magical places. Japan, Dubai, Phuket, Singapore, you name it. It was like he was a fairytale prince with how well he treated me; something you wouldn't expect from a person of his... calibre—especially back in high school.

But then, just after we'd gotten married and were starting to get cosy in bed, I was diagnosed with pregnancy. The process was a bit tedious, unnerving, and downright scary at times, but in the end, we both knew one thing. We were gonna have children. Kids of our own who would carry on our legacies; to go on and do great things just like their mommy and daddy did. It was quite a lot to take in, but we still managed to see it through.

But what might shock you was that it wasn't just any kind of pregnancy. It was a rare kind of condition where instead of having one or two buns in the oven, we instead wound up with five. Now, you would think that with five babies all being born on the same day that a few of them would have to get hooked up to some weird machines, right? Well, actually, they all came out perfectly healthy. They didn't have to be taken to some care ward so that their organs could develop or something like that. They were just fine and dandy once they popped out.

All five of them were girls, so we came up with some good names for them all. The one with golden hair was called Adagio Dazzle, because we thought that she would go on to become a great composer with a flair for singing. The second one with purple and green hair was Starlight Glimmer, because when she grows up, I'll personally teach her the wonders of space and the many celestial bodies twinkling in the night sky. As for the third one with red hair, we went for the name Moondancer because she always seemed to reach for the moon at night when we tucked her in. There was another girl with a slightly darker shade of red but with yellow stripes in it. We called her Sunset Shimmer because of this. Finally, when we got to the girl with aquamarine hair, we thought that we should give her a normal name; one that wouldn't raise too much attention. So, after a long debate, we finally decided on the name of Trixie.

Now, you might be thinking to yourselves, "But Twilight, that seems like a wonderful life. You've got a great job, you've got the perfect husband, and you've got five cute little daughters to carry on your legacies." Well, I'm gonna have to say that two out of three isn't bad on that one.

This might come as a surprise to absolutely no-one, but handling a kid is much harder than you'd be able to imagine. All the crying, pooping of diapers, all the stuff that could lead to the kid getting hurt, it's the hardest part of being a parent. If it were one baby, then it would be perfectly fine to cope with. But there were five babies in our lives and only two of us. You can guess how our first day would've been like.

Actually, why don't I tell you all about my first day of being a mother? No, not the actual birthing process themselves. I'm talking about the first day that our five kids woke up. Every good story needs to start at the beginning—not the halfway point. You also might want to get yourself a drink as well, because this is going to be a long story.

The first thing that you should know about babies is that they're impossible to predict. You never know what they'll do, when they'll do it, or even how for that matter. That's why when we were designing our room for Adagio, Moondancer, Trixie, Starlight, and Sunset, we wanted to take no risks, make everything as safe as it could possibly be, and to have a place where our daughters could romp and play freely.

But even with all of our baby-proofing, all five of the kids were a lot to deal with. Whether some of them liked to play with their toys the wrong way, wrestle and crawl over each other because they both wanted the same toy, or even if a few of them tried to escape the room altogether, it seemed like we were being dealt a hand we wouldn't be able to win with.

So, when the kids woke up, I was the first one to welcome them to the family. I personally picked all five of them out of their cribs and settled them down on the floor. The floor was pink, by the way, because pink usually refers to girls.

"Hey there, girls," I said. "Welcome to planet Earth. I'm Twilight Sparkle. But feel free to call me mama." God, I sounded really cheesy there, didn't I? "I'm going to be watching over all of you and making sure that none of you get hurt. Just think of me as a cuddly teddy bear that you can snuggle up to."

Now, for being babies, you wouldn't understand a thing that was going on if you were in their shoes. So Adagio just ended up putting her thumb in her mouth, Sunset began drooling, Starlight and Trixie tilted their heads, and Moondancer began to look around the place to see what she could do. I just decided to let them get on with it because I didn't want to stall their first playtime together. You're only ever a baby once, so you might as well play and have fun while you still can, because the second you start growing up, everything gets harder and harder.

Now, I won't go into too much detail about exactly what my kids did on the first day. I'll let you fill out the blanks yourself. Whether they were into their dolls, building blocks, dressing up in cute little outfits, or just exploring in general, I might just let the audience decide what the kids like. If I made it too obvious, then it wouldn't really resonate well with the reader.

But I will say that somewhere in the afternoon, everything started to go wrong. Flash hadn't come back yet because his team's practice had run over the designated time. That and the traffic around that time was a bit too hectic for him to handle. I remember the text message having some swear words in it too. So, that left me with my five children until he came back.

When I went up to the room, I saw Adagio and Sunset were fighting over a small doll, making high-pitched and tinny little grunts as they tried to wretch the doll from each others' hands. I was about to swoop in and stop them from fighting, but then I heard Trixie begin to cry. She'd just knocked down a tower of building blocks that she must've spent minutes trying to build. I was going to comfort her, but then Starlight began to try as well. She'd done a number two in her diaper and needed a change quickly. So I tended to her while trying to deal with the piercing screams of Trixie at the same time. Honestly, if you think going to a rock concert is an assault on the ears, you haven't been the mother of five little girls.

After I'd cleaned Starlight up and set her back down on the floor, I watched both Adagio and Sunset pull the doll so hard that they pulled its' limbs off, spewing little pieces of fabric all over the floor. They should've stopped there, but they were still desperate to try and get whatever remained of the toy that I had to take action. I swooped in and took it from both of them, watching them both begin to cry as they reached out for it. The only one who wasn't crying was Moondancer, so I have to commend her for keeping calm while everyone else was in tears.

"Alright, alright, alright! Don't cry. Don't cry..." I said, picking up the wailing babies one after another. I began to rock them gently and play with their hairs as I began to shush them. "Calm down, little ones. Mama's here to look after you. Just stop crying, please."

So now, not only did I have to soothe three of my five little ones, but I also had to clean up the mess that they made before Starlight or Moondancer inhaled some of the doll's fabric. Trust me, when you're trying to keep some of your kids calm while making sure the others don't make themselves sick, it can get a bit daunting at times.

As the other babies began to calm down, I saw that Starlight was crawling closer towards the remains of the doll, examining the fabric and making little babbles here and there. I set the other three down when I saw everything that was happening and grabbed her as soon as she put a single handful of the white stuffing into her mouth. I had to give her back a gentle slap and hold her over the floor to get her to spit it out—and even then, she was still chewing and trying to swallow the stuff! I thought that I wasn't going to be able to stop her for a few seconds. But then, just to make my life worse, she threw up not just the fabrics, but a chunk of vomit as well. Great. Just fucking spectacular. I had an even bigger mess to clean up now.

"Starlight! Bad girl." I wagged my finger at her as she simply put her finger back in her mouth and sucked nonchalantly. I carried her over towards the nearby playpen and sat her down next to the stuffed animals. "Now, you stay here for a moment, dearie. Mama needs to go and clean up the mess you made." And I left her in there while I went downstairs to get the clean up stuff.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "It's just a quick run to get something to clean up puke and doll linens. What could go wrong?" Well, as it would turn out, you would be surprised.

I made a very quick dash because I didn't want to leave the babies alone for more than a minute. Apparently, I shouldn't have left them alone for more than a second, because when I got back up to the room, everything had just decided to go off at once.

Adagio had pooped in her diaper now, Trixie was frantically waving her arms around as she tried to shake some of the mess Starlight made off of her arms, Starlight herself was crying and holding onto the bars like she'd been put in prison, Moondancer couldn't take the noise anymore and just joined the crowd, leaving Sunset just sitting there, quietly drooling all over her legs and diaper. And all that just because I'd left them alone without Flash. See, this is the thing when you're a married woman with five kids and only one husband. Things start to spiral out of control very fast if you're not around. And these five are only babies. I shudder to think of what they'd be able to do once they're all five years old...

"Goddammit. Where the fuck are you, Flash?" I mumbled to myself as I began to clean up the mess and dispose of it properly. After that was done, I dashed over towards all of my kids and watched as they all let out a horrible symphony of baby wails. "Honestly, this was the one time where I didn't need this bullshit today..."

Once I got rid of all of the residue and properly binned it, I came back to the kids. I picked Starlight out of the crib and gave her a quick hug before I set her back down with the other kids. At this point, I was so tempted to hold my hands to my ears given how loud the noise was. I held out for a moment but then let out a small scream of my own as I went out of the room to put the other stuff back.

Now, there is one other thing that you should know about babies. No matter what they're doing or if they're starting to cry, I feel that the best solution is always a pacifier. I'm not entirely sure why, but whenever one of those rubber bulbs gets put in a baby's mouth, they almost immediately calm down. Guess that's why they're called pacifiers, huh? They pacify and neutralise the kids when all else fails.

Anyway, once I came back to the nursery, I went over towards the changing table and opened a small drawer on the front. Inside it were five pacifiers, all brightly coloured and marked for each of the girls in tiny permanent marker writing. As soon as I put them in the kids' mouths, their crying stopped and they began suckling on the things immediately—they were like robots.

Another convenient thing that pacifiers can do is induce sleep. Sometimes, whenever a baby begins to suck on one, they begin to feel tired and more relaxed, hence the other nickname for them; soothers. I took all five of my little ones up and put them into their cribs one by one while they were still delightfully chewing on the rubber bulbs, tucking them in and giving them all a cuddly animal each to hold while they went for their nap.

"Will they really sleep, though?" I asked myself. Could you blame me for questioning the value of one of those things? It was only my first day as a mom, y'know. "I'd better keep an eye on them to make sure that these things really work."

One after another, my kids were beginning to nap. The pacifiers seemed to be working their magic. Adagio and Moondancer were the first ones to fall asleep, with Trixie following closely after. Then Sunset closed her eyes, leaving me with only Starlight. She was still sucking with her eyes wide open, so I couldn't be sure if the effects were guaranteed to work every time. I gently rocked her back and forth while she was munching on her soother and that seemed to do it. At long last, my five babies were fast asleep and I could have some time to myself for once.

So the lesson of the day here, ladies and gentlemen, is always to look on the bright side of things and keep going until the end. Because no matter how hard your day is and no matter what stuff you go through on a daily basis, you'll always have a peaceful and happy ending. If I could deal with Adagio, Sunset, Moondancer, Trixie, and Starlight all at the same time, then I'm sure that you and your own friends and family will make it through the struggles you go through.

But let me tell you that this isn't even the start of my problems. I've had to deal with so much more than just a small little thing while Flash was caught up in traffic. I've had more than just a single little incident with my five little monsters. There have been times where even WITH Flash helping me out, those girls are harder to control than a pack of dogs chasing after a runaway cat.

I would tell you the whole story right now, but I'm a mother with five babies on her hand. Even now, they're all messing around. Sunset! Adagio! Stop trying to grab the knife off the counter! Flash, please, can't you stop them?

I'm trying my hardest, Twilight! But it's like these babies are smarter than we think!

Starlight! Moondancer! No! Get off of the coffee table! You're gonna hurt yourselves if you keep that up! Uh... I'll see you all tomorrow. If I keep this recording going for long, my kids are gonna need to go back to the hospital. C'mon, you two, this isn't funny! Flash, can you turn the recorder off?

Way ahead of you, Twilight.

Author's Notes:

So, I tried a completely different narrative this time around. Instead of making the narrator omnipresent, I decided to make Twilight the narrator and have scenes that revolve around her experiences as well as the events that go on in the present day for her. If any of you like or don't like this form of narration, then please feel free to let me know and I'll fix it for you all.

But regardless, I hope that you enjoy the story and share it with all of your friends and family.