Why is it so dark? Am I dead? No. No. It's not that. I would be freezing if that were the case. I just feel warm and...and like I'm floating in some strange slime...Moving around doesn't seem to help. Actually, I can't seem to move at all, let alone breathe. I would most definitely be hyperventilating right now if it wasn't for that, but that doesn't mean I can't feel my heart throbbing like drums. What's the last thing I remember? What's the last thing...

My name is Gregary Oltondie. Good. I remember my name. I'm just an Average Joe. A Simple Sam. A Common Carter. An Everyday Nathaniel. That's a good sign although that doesn't put my uniqueness into aspect and doesn't bode well for my personality, or possible lack thereof. I...I'm married and...I have two kids...I think. Why can't I remember THEM? Isn't that something important? Maybe I didn't have a very good marriage relationship...or maybe I just can't remember them for some other, horrible reason. They might come back to me later when I encounter scenarios pertaining to them. Where was I before all this? I...I was at the store. The...The Kilimanshoppo. Nothing out of the ordinary aside from the stupid name...or was it clever? A huge store with several dedicated aisles, large white tiles on the floor with advertisements stuck to them. The roof was covered in long lights and the crappy, removable tiles made of white and black specks, and I was in the aisle checking for ketchup. So overpriced. Fifteen quid for five small bottles? Bloody rip offs.

Then...my chest started to hurt, and I blacked out. The last immediate thing I remember after that is waking up in a hospital room with a doctor in a white coat and sporting gray hair standing next to a nurse in a white dress. My vision was still blurry and the edges were still black, but I'm certain of what I saw. I think they mentioned something about putting me into a coma, but I don't remember it all in detail. Aside from those details, I can't feel anything. I must be in purgatory. I thought they said that this place would be full of fire or something which makes me question its separation to Hell. Less gay demons? Whatever. I never read the bible. I don't believe in all that 'gods and deities' stuff. Wait...I can feel movement...and now there's a light appearing near the end. That was fast. I'm so pure I can be the next messiah! (Blasphemy!)

"Push, my snowflake! The child will exit soon and enter our domain!" a male voice cheered on.

A female voice could be heard panting and gasping for air while other strange sounds chimed in the air. They sounded like bells and gentle gusts of wind. Just a few minutes later a young fawn was born into the world. A very small bundle of brown fur. Nothing more, nothing less. It was so...cute...but it wasn't breathing.

"Doctor?" the first male voice asked.

"Give it time. It IS of your blood and velvet. It must take in the energies of the snow and ice to take proper life."

Nervousness left way to comfort and relief when the fawn started to cry.

"I...will repress this memory for millennia to come. Why am I crying? I feel so...weird."

"..."

"What was that?"

"...betrothal to a pony..."

"Haha! Betrothal. What a stupid thing to say."

Little by little, Gregary's eyes began to open and the blur blinding his vision started to fade, clearing his view of what was around him. The floor was made in some sort of white substance that might've been marble but did not have its specks or any sort of distinguishing features of stone. No. These things were extremely smooth and almost a pearlescent white, if anything. The walls were another thing, however. Rounded, half-cylinders bulged out of the white walls and were painted a distinct shade of red. Furthermore, all the walls were covered by golden vines that stretched and twirled everywhere. The stained, glass windows depicting various different kinds of scenes rather than just a single individual were akin to those seen in ancient, gothic architecture. One of them showed some sort of deer standing on its hind legs and emitting what appeared to be white light from its horns at an amorphous, black mass that had arms and several red eyes placed randomly on it. The roof was in arcs and rounded domes, like many Gothic architectural buildings. Strangely enough, it was only as tall as buildings made with Roman architecture,conflicting with the gothic masonry. It was a strange compromise to say the least.

"Must be some sort of weird cult. They better not sacrifice me to their curry god or something!"

Gregary felt himself being lifted by two long sticks and found himself face-to-face with the most terrifying looking reindeer he had ever seen. Its antlers were like bones and frost gently descended from them while various different ice crystals formed then dissipated to leave place for new ones. The main fur of this abomination was a vanilla-tinted white while the face had pure, white frost extending from the horns to the eyes, then down the entire white muzzle, and stopping at his mouth. His eyes were black and had white iris, making him look extremely weird.

"So this is the newest addition to my family and the one that will help us all."

"It talks?! And what does it mean by 'newest addition to my family'?"

"What shall we name it?"

"I don't know. By the way, I think he's enamored by your looks, or at least terrified by it."

"Huh?"

The stag looked back to see his child staring at him with enormous eyes. It seemed like he would cry were the stag to move in the wrong way.

"Ha! His sister did the same thing, but she cried loudly."

"Damnit. Siblings?"

"He just stares. He will be promising for sure."

"Then should we name after our ancient tongue?" the female voice suggested.

"Hmm...That's a great idea. How about...Stelimus Anglacite, son of the God-King of reindeer?"

"I would like that, but get rid of the 'god-king' part. We don't need you getting a big head."

"But I am a god!" Anglacite complained in a childish manner.

"Deities certainly don't exist, but what about this guy thinking he's king?"

Another voice poked out from behind this weirdo who claimed himself as a 'deity' and a 'king'. "Your highness, if you can consider yourself as a god, then certainly you can accept Princesses Celestia and Luna as deities of pony-kind."

It was an equine creature with a yellow coat and orange-lime mane and tail. He was wearing a brown coat, boots, and hat, seemingly to protect himself from the cold.

"NEVER! They will NEVER be deities! I am the only true deity in this world!" The stag's voice boomed through the temple, forcing everyone to cover their ears and startling the equine.

'King' Anglacite cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, Stelimus, that you had to witness that mere minutes after your birth." He turned to face his wife as well as rotating the fawn to see her. "I will show him to the deer. I want them to see him first and be assured of our future and his strength."

The doe in question was brown all over, but she also had the same frost decoration on her face, and her eyes were orange. She looked completely exhausted and was lying down on a pile of straw with a white blanket covering her. Another deer with antlers and a blue coat and surgery mask stood in front of her and just looked at me with ambivalence.

"Alright, but give him back to me afterwards. I wish...let him feed."

I felt myself being moved towards a pair of two doors that were opened by a gust of wind and frost that, surprisingly, did not chill me. I was blinded by the sun's pure light, but it didn't prevent me from hearing the loud roaring and cheering from an unknown source. I was lifted up, and when my eyes cleared, I could see nearly hundreds, if not several thousand deer below, and they were VERY far below. The light was still too bright for me to distinguish the buildings, but I could definitely see that the deer were all in some sort of town square.

"Fellow reindeer of the north, the new son is born!" A cheer resonated throughout the air. "With his birth, our futures are assured! I know that we shouldn't be forced to resort to such...actions, and it pains me as well, but if we are to survive, we need this newborn. The ice flows strong in his spirit even just after his birth, so he will most certainly become even greater in the future and represent our people perfectly, ensuring our superiority to pony kind!"

"Superiority? What is this, the nazi regime? Uh oh. Godwin's law just took effect."

King Anglacite waved to his people then somehow closed the doors again and face the few occupants of this room, and looked at his wife with a honeyed smile. She returned the same, but hers had a motherly additive to it.

"I return the little one to you to feed. I must return to speaking with my advisers."

"Alright," she answered.

The stag nodded then walked towards a door on the right of the wall right in front of the bed of straw and left. Meanwhile, I started to sweat and panic. I think the doctor noticed. His eyebrow went up, meaning that he's either questioning my mental capacity or that his eyebrow is alive. I'm going with the latter.

"Alright, Stelimus. It's time to nurse you. I'm certain you are already hungry, and I intend to make you a strong and healthy stag for the future."

"Oh dear God no. Doe. What are you doing? No! STOP!"

Author's Notes:

Before you even say, because I know you will, I'm more than aware that female deer can also get antlers. I CAN READ YOUR MINDS.