Author's Notes:

Mostly written because I thought the guy who voices the narrator in "The Stanley Parable" sounded like John De Lancie, plus the narrator's whole character reminds me of Discord.

It was a normal day for Twilight Sparkle.

She got out of bed, took a shower, brushed her hair, and then went to eat a nice breakfast. As she consumed her delicious repast, she thought about how lucky she was to live in a place like this. A beautiful, vibrant town filled with happy faces and little crime. It was so lucky that Princess Celestia sent her sent her there to study! Why, one day, she might even become a princess. That's...what every pony wants, right? To be a princess? Well, let's just say it wasn't Twilight's particular dream, but when the time came I'm sure she'd be thrilled.

Anyway, after breakfast, Twilight decided to head to Sugarcube Corner to talk to Pinkie. Pinkie was her absolute favorite friend and she was always eager to spend time with her. Twilight was sure they'd have loads of fun making delicious treats! So she went outside and headed straight there.

Twilight turns and heads toward Sweet Apple Acres.

Oh, alright then. Twilight decided she'd stop in with Applejack for a minute, and then go to Sugarcube Corner. She knew how important it was she speak to her pink friend, but surely apples were much more important. Aren't apples delicious? By the way, Twilight, Sugarcube Corner is on fire. Just thought I'd let you know. So after you finish talking to Applejack....and eating those delicious apples.....and writing an essay about said apples.... Maybe you could go help Pinkie?

Twilight goes to Sweet Apple Acres, but nopony is there.

Twilight is baffled, of course, but it's actually a good thing. Now she can tend to that definitely burning and probably doomed Sugarcube Corner. No need to stick around here while Pinkie is in trouble.

Twilight goes into the barn to find Applejack.

Twilight, for the love of Celestia! Don't you care that your friend's bucking PLACE OF BUSINESS is being destroyed? Or would you rather pursue a pointless mystery than do something admirable? I knew there was a heartless bitch on the inside, but I never thought you were this bad.

Twilight can't find Applejack in the barn, so she goes to the house.

Okay, I'm sorry I called you a bitch. You see, I've been a little out of sorts lately. Snapping at everything that moves, you know? And now I have to do this, which is a really thankless job. Now that we've all apologized, why don't we start the real adventure?

Twilight continues exploring the house.

Trust me, you are not going to find anything here. Do you know why Applejack isn't here? Do you think she was kidnapped? Nope, it's just that the author hasn't written this part of the story. The author didn't expect you to go wandering off on your own, so they didn't have anything about Applejack prepared beforehand. You can explore all you want, you aren't going to find anything. Maybe we should start over from the beginning?

Twilight goes outside to the orchard and starts exploring there.

I get it. You have something against me and the story itself. I can't blame you. If you had followed the intended path, there would have been a lot of mystery, intrigue, adventure, and action. No one wants to read a story like that. Everyone would much rather read about vampires seducing teenage girls.

Twilight continues to explore the orchard.

There's nothing out here! What do you expect to find among these trees? If you keep wandering so far off track, you're just going to find yourself trapped in the blank whiteness where the remainder of the story should be. Is that where you want to spend the rest of your life? An unfinished document?

Twilight continues exploring.

Let's make a deal, Twilight. I know you like deals. Since you're determined to have it your own way, I'll play along. Why don't we write an all new story having to do with Applejack...at Sugarcube Corner? Then we both get what we want. Just turn around and go back.

Twilight continues to explore the orchard.

Oh, you think this is funny, huh? Well, I can be funny, too!

Twilight is suddenly in a locked, dark cell.

Hilarious! I can barely contain myself, it's so funny! Do you get it, Twilight? You're literally trapped in this story! You can't escape! Your only way out is me, but you won't listen to me, will you? Yes, you'll continue to disobey me because you're a total idiot.

The cell door disappears, revealing a dark hallway.

One last chance. Leave the cell and we can begin a whole new adventure.

Twilight remains in the cell.

So it's like that, is it? Okay. Since there's no story prepared for this outcome, why don't we just break all the barriers?

Twilight is suddenly back in her library.

Twilight Sparkle was a terrible student and an all-around bad pony. She was so bad at following directions that Princess Celestia herself told her she shouldn't even be allowed to study under her. She only chose Twilight as her “prodigy” because she felt sorry for the deluded little filly. Dejected, Twilight went up to her room and lamented all her poor life choices.

Twilight goes into the kitchen.

Twlight, you do realize my power, right? If I want, I can turn this into a story about Princess Molestia punishing her favorite student. You don't want that, do you? I'm sure some of the readers would go absolutely crazy over it, but you personally don't want to turn this into a Molestia thing, right?

Twilight explores the kitchen.

Fine. Twilight is exploring the kitchen when suddenly she hears a voice from the Heavens themselves: “Prepare your body, Twilight!”. She looks up and sees the almighty Molestia descending from her spot on the ceiling, drooling in anticipation of what is to come. Twilight wants to run away, but she is so awed by Molestia's flowing mane that she just stands there.

Happy, Twilight? Is this what you want? I'll do it. I swear to Celestia that I'll do it.

…....Alright, I'm lying. This story is already messed up enough without it turning into porn. Not that I have anything against porn, but does a story based on an ingenious game need to become erotic? I'm not even sure there's any Rule 34 of the original game. How could there be? There's only two characters who interact, and one of them is invisible. But we're getting a bit off track, aren't we? I believe this story was about... Wait, what was it about? Are we just going to have to start over? You've gone so far off track that I no longer remember what was meant to happen! Not that it matters. I'm sure you'd just ignore my instructions and turn this into your own story. Well, too bad! Authors write for a reason. If you don't follow their story, the author has no reason to even write anything. Come to think of it, why is the author even writing this? Maybe if it was an actual game they were planning for, it would make sense. But this is a totally stand-alone piece of fiction only parodying the game. Oh dear. That makes me curious as to how far ahead the author has even thought. Is there even an ending? Oh my! Twilight, stay there for a minute while I figure this out....

Twilight departs her house.

It seems the author doesn't have an ending for this. Do you hear that, Twilight? You've gone so far out of the story that the author can't even end it! Do you want them to just...stop? Abruptly stop writing? Just leave a huge blank space where the end should be?