I took a deep breath as the door flung open. "Hi Treble...." I muttered, keeping my head low and focused on my desk. "What's up?"

Treble's clumsy hooves snapped loudly against my floor. "Dude, you know why I'm here."

"Drunken sex?" I asked with a laugh, turning around to find her staring angrily. "Guess not."

Treble shook her head and continued through my office, over towards a small coat rack in the corner. "Dude, don't make this weird. I know you're all like screwed up and stuff, but don't make this weird." She yanked an oversized hoodie off the rack and flung it over her back. "I'm just coming to have a good time, and you gotta make it all weird."

I threw myself back, rolling across the hardwood floor. "I make it weird? You do realize who you are, right?" I stood up and brushed my legs off. "Oh god...sitting down too long." I shook my legs out, trying to rid myself of the painful cramps I had worked up. "I mean, you're Treble Fucking Scratch! One of the most--"

"Dude don't.... I know, issues, but that's not why I'm here and you know it!" she shouted, voice peaking slightly partway through. "Now can we just...can I just do this or not?"

I turned to the small couch I had, kicking my chair out of the way and flopping down in two kick movements. "You're going to anyways." I held my arms forward.

Treble slowly sauntered over, forcing the hoodie across my back and over my arms. "I am. But still, don't make it weird."

"Treble, you're like my daughter, I think you're safe." I jeered, watching her hop onto my lap and lay her back across my chest. "Jesus...all this for--"

"Shut up dude." Treble pressed her crown into my chin. "Nopony else hugs me...."

"Special hugs don't count?" I asked, watching her settle in and zip herself inside my jacket. "...So this is what I would have looked like as a fat man."

Treble looked up at me, nearly stabbing my upper lip with her horn. "Dude, you are fat."

I grumbled loudly. "I know! Thanks for reminding me!" I wrapped my arms around my front. Treble snapped up against my chest as I touched her. "Really?"

"Dude, don't make it weird!" She yelped, looking rather bashful. "Just...don't...."

"I'm gonna do it!" I pulled my arms together, pressing Treble against my chest. "God damn, it's just a hug--"

"You never hug anyone else! Now it's all like, oh my god, who hugged you? Oh, him?! Really, how--"

I leaned my head down, pinning Treble in place with my chin. "Quiet you." I pulled my arms up, forcing her forelegs up as I leaned back. "Just...quiet." I took a deep breath, letting the warm pony against my stomach act like a living heater. "...Fucking damn it's cold out."

Trebled shifted in my jacket, trying to look up at me. "It's like, sixty degrees."

"That's cold for me." I stated, huddling up and trying to relax. "Just like you think ninety is hot." I shook my head, rubbing her scalp with my chin. "It's really not."

Treble kicked her legs out, peeking them out the bottom of the jacket. "Dude. You're weird."

I pulled Treble against me. "I know. Look outside, all that, at least half my doing." I turned towards the window. "Equestria was crazy before I showed up, but after, eh, now it's just my playground."

Treble stabbed me in the mouth with her horn. "Dude, that's weirder." She shifted to the side, sitting on my lap like I was some dime-store santa. "The headless dude was weird, I'm weird...everything is weird." She looked up at me. "Dude, why is everything weird?" I pulled my arms into the hoodie. "Dude?!"

I pulled my hands against her, hugging her against me. Her coat was soft, pleasing to the touch as I pressed my fingers against her. "Still weird?"

Treble looked up at me, face torqued up. "Dude...you're so weird." She threw herself against me, taking a deep breath as she settled in.

I lowered my head, clutching my pony against myself. "Quiet you."

Treble tightened herself up, leaning against me and warming my chest. "Dude...why don't we hang out more?"

I nestled back into the couch. "Because you've got places to be--"

"But you never tell stories about me." She looked up at me, white mane flooding out of the hoodie. "I'm always just...there, or like, there, or like...with Gray, somepony else." She looked towards the window. "It's Equestria dude...you could put my anywhere, but you just sit me here, and act like things are just great."

"Treble--"

"I wanna go ride a dragon! I want to shoot fire out of my mouth! I want to zap things with lightning or possess ponies like the vengeful spirit of Starswirl!" Treble bounced on my leg. "Dude, I could go anywhere!"

"Treble, you're a character. You can go anywhere, and you will go everywhere." I scratched her side, causing her leg to kick out across my lap. "Equestria isn't the only place for you little pony."

Treble shot a few sparks off her horn. "But dude...I'm like.... Like I don't--" She poked my chin with her horn. "Don't leave dude.... You're always like, oh I'm tired I'm gonna go!"

"I wish I could." I stated, holding my pony tight. "Equestria is fun, it's a lot of fun, but I wish I could do more." I hugged Treble tight, "...Don't worry. Equestria will survive without me. Now, I think it's time you should go. I should get back to work."

Treble stretched out. "Dude...I want an adventure."

I took a deep breath and stood up. "Treble, it's Equestria. If a bunch of ponies can overcome evil magic with friendship, you can have an adventure." I unzipped the hoodie, taking it off and wrapping up my pony in it. "Take a nap, Treble. Got a big day ahead of you." Next Chapter: God Damn It Estimated time remaining: 2 Minutes