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Crystal Clear Confessions

by LDSocrates

Chapter 1: Unmasked

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Dearest Shining Armor,

By the time you read this, I’ll be long gone. I considered telling you that at the end of this letter, but the whole reason I’m writing this is because I’m tired of leading you on. The truth is that I’m a fraud, dear; a liar. My face, my name, everything about me is fake. I never was Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. But I became her.

Shining Armor sat on the edge of his unmade bed, the luxurious crystal and gold and silver and silks little comfort with only the ticks and tocks of the clock to keep him company. His horn softly glowed in the early morning light that seeped through the windows. His magic grip held a ring, floating it before him.

His ring; his wedding ring.

I’m a changeling, Shining. I always was. The Cadence you fell in love with never existed. Though you did once know the real Cadence, but never spoke to her for fear of rejection. You remember those days, don’t you? When you were a young colt in high school with the dreams and body of a soldier but with hobbies and a heart I could only describe as adorably dorky? The truth is that Cadence never spoke to you. I did.

A knock came from his chamber door. He lifted a foreleg and wiped his watering eyes, moving the ring up to slide back on his horn. He paused, and set it beside him instead. “Come in,” he said as loud as he could manage, his voice hoarse.

The doors creaked open. The magic lights from the hall outside were almost blinding, but he didn’t look directly into it. His eyes were straight ahead, towards his wife’s vanity. Its mounted mirror glared back at him with his own reflection, his mane unkempt, his eyes sagging, red, and looking at him with a hollow gaze.

Cadence was silently replaced many years ago. I have no idea where she is. I was never told, in case I was discovered, tortured, and interrogated. The idea was for me to take her place when she was young so that if there were any major differences between me and the real Cadence, those around her would just blame it on the sudden changes of adolescence. And it worked. Everything went according to plan, even our wedding.

“Status report,” he barked.

“The search parties haven’t found anything yet, your Highness,” the guard mare responded. “The blizzard covered her hoof prints, and nobody saw her leave the city. But a local housewife said she spotted a lone figure galloping to the north west when she went to keep her own foal from getting too close to the shield. Permission to pursue?”

“Permission granted,” he said, looking at her silhouette out of the corner of his eye. “I want a search pattern established in that direction out to ten miles from the city limits. Nobody could get very far in this weather.”

“Yes, sir.” The shadow bowed and stepped back, the doors closing once more and leaving him in the dark.

The Queen intentionally botched her impression of me, of the ‘real’ Cadence, though we didn’t expect everyone to be so oblivious. If it wasn’t for Twilight, the plan may have been ruined. Or Plan A, rather. The royals know how to run a country, and you know how to wage a war, but changelings will always be the best when it comes to ruses. Who would suspect the princess in distress, after all, freshly saved from a monster’s dungeon? For added realism, the Queen, my mother, even beat me savagely herself. Mother was simply a decoy, and I the ace up her sleeve. Taking Canterlot would’ve been a quick, short-term gain, a consolation prize, but Twilight figured things out and the real plan continued.

Shining Armor’s horn glowed once more, his ring rising from his side to before his face. A gold band, uninterrupted in its simplicity save for a small gap filled with diamond, something precious completed by something even more so. It glimmered in the dull violet light, the ring and its partner in the mirror staring at him like a pair of glowing eyes, mocking him.

He closed his eyes and bit back a scream, launching his ring like an arrow. The ticking clock was drowned out by shattering glass.

We knew the Crystal Empire would come back soon. We have eyes and ears everywhere. And we knew that its technology ran on the happiness of its citizens the way we feed on love; a perfect symbiotic relationship. Once you died of old age, Mother herself would take my place, and her normal coldness would be blamed on grief. My siblings would then worm their way into the capital city, and Mother would pretend to look into the issue while we took over. All the untapped resources of the frozen north waiting to be harvested with modern technology, all at the hive’s disposal through a puppet empire and with the complete trust of Equestria. Taking them over next would be easy.

The next scream wasn’t so easily held back, nor were the tears, or the blows. The baubles and trinkets and luxuries of royalty and mementos of happy marriage shattered and ripped and cracked under stomped hooves or magic pressure.

He vaguely heard the chamber doors open again. He snapped his head up to see his two personal guards go from battle stances to pitying looks. He whipped his head up to get the strands of mane out of his face, but said nothing as he panted like a wounded animal. They said nothing either. They just bowed their heads in reverence and closed the doors again.

It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known. If Mother was not discovered during our wedding, the invasion would have been successful and Equestria would be our feeding grounds. But she was, and our long-term plan went into motion, far more lucrative in the end. Our people would finally have their own empire after so many centuries in the shadows, and the entire continent would be our home, with you and your kind as our livestock. Either way, we would win. Changelings never make their move until victory is the only possibility.

The distraction was long enough to make him stop and sweep his eyes across the carnage. Portraits, mostly of themselves, gifts from artists across the continent, were scattered across the floor. Their bed was in tatters from thrown shards of glass and mirror, the frame cracked and lopsided. Their wardrobes were reduced to twisted, splintered heaps. Any jewelry that wasn’t made of the strongest metal was bent or in a thousand pieces. The clock was utterly demolished, its gears scattered and shell broken.

His eyes fell on the soft glint of his ring among the wreckage. His own twisted reflection stared back up at him from the shards of mirror that surrounded it, his crying, enraged eyes staring back at him many times over.

But I can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep lying to you anymore. I love you, Shining; I love you and your family and your country too much to let that happen. That’s the one thing I never lied about, not even once. The Cadence you fell in love with never existed, but I did. I love your cute attempts at being traditionally manly, I love your dedication to your family and your country, I love being in your strong embrace; I love you, period. I know you probably hate me right now, but please, don’t ever doubt that.

He took a step forward, but didn’t make a second when he heard the crunch of wood and glass and crumple of paper beneath it. He looked down, and among the remains of the mirror was a small photo, its frame smashed.

It was a picture of a very startled teenage Shining Armor and Cadence on his house’s balcony, blushes on their faces and lips half pulled away. A young Twilight was pointing an accusatory hoof at the pair, with a look on her face like a detective catching a criminal in the act of a diamond heist, and a very noticeable purple claw was over the corner of the shot, haphazardly holding the camera.

At first it was just part of the plan; I’ll admit that. You were the older brother of Celestia’s protégé, after all, a perfect connection to have at our disposal. But I did fall in love with you, and I grew to love Twilight and your parents and Spike and even Celestia, and I began to understand why my kind is hated. Our existence hinges on taking love away when love is the most wondrous feeling in the world. It’s what makes life worth living. I don’t want to be part of that anymore.

Shining Armor’s horn glowed once more, bringing the photo up to his face. He turned it over, and in her elegant writing were the words, “Our first kiss, thankfully caught on camera.” A small chuckle escaped his lips, and a smaller smile tugged at their edges, but it soon faded. He turned it back over and stared at the image for a long time; stared at his own eyes from a time when they were full of life and full of love. Not even the ticking of the clock kept him company anymore.

So, I’m leaving for the wastelands outside the city, where you’ll never find me. I know I’ll die out there in the cold. I know I’ll die alone. But that’s how it should be, isn’t it? A monster like me doesn’t deserve any better.

After so long in silence and stillness, Shining Armor pulled the picture close to his chest and hugged it tight, closing his eyes as the tears flowed anew.

Please, if she’s still alive, find the real Cadence. Give her the life I stole from her, and tell her I’m sorry, for everything.

“I was such a fool…”

Goodbye.

Next Chapter: Hiraeth Estimated time remaining: 26 Minutes
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