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The League of Extraordinary Ponies

by Infinite Carnage

Chapter 1: Prologue: The Grand Old Duke of York

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"Beginnings are always messy."

- John Galsworthy

Prologue

Oh, the grand old Duke of York,
He had ten thousand mares;
He marched them up to the top of the hill,
And he marched them down again.

And when they were up, they were up,
And when they were down, they were down,
And when they were only half-way up,
They were neither up nor down.

This nursery rhyme was my earliest childhood memory. I can't recount the amount of times that song has popped into my head. Some would probably say more than any sane pony should have, although I'm not sure If I'd say I am a sane pony. There has always been a small tingling in the back of my head, like a little whisper telling me what to do. A basic primal need for blood like any predator would have. That nursery rhyme you read above was sung to me by my mother. I would do anything for her. I'd kill for her, give my life for her. She's my mother, and she's perfect. The leader we deserved.

Don't get me wrong. Some of the things my mother has done in the past have been questionable at best but she was forced into it by Scorching Sun. Scorching Sun is the bane of Equestria and one day she will meet her end. Hopefully, if all goes well, it will today. All of Equestria could be liberated soon and they will all dance and bathe in the starshine and moonlight of my mother's beautiful sky. Sadly, if Scorching Sun is defeated today, it appears I will not be able to witness it.

The scientists were guiding me to the machine which would become my home for an indefinite period, which meant until my mother felt that I was safe. I was not afraid. I've spent most of my life near odd machines. I will be blunt. I was not created through the methods of natural birth. I have one purpose, and that purpose is to kill Princess Celestia. My mother's intentions were to create a mere soldier, one that could reach her potential. What better method than a near genetic clone?

The Solar Ponies found our base, and now I was being forced into this stasis coffin (as I understand it to be) to keep me hidden from the Solar Ponies until I was needed again. I was told that it wouldn't be long before I saw the dark night sky again. My mother told me it was a formality, as she would surely triumph in the fight against her sister. This war had raged for 50 years. The entirety of my 20 year life was spent on the front lines, but at that time I had to hide like a coward because my mother was worried. How degrading. I don't imagine that many soldiers came to work with sick notes because their mothers were worried.

I was being strapped in, but it took a while due to my wings having their own slots. I was born a pegasus, which was a surprise to many as I was meant to be an alicorn, but I suppose you can't win them all. They believed that I would bypass having to go through the Alicorn test because of how close, genetically wise, I was to mother. Despite this, I was as strong as 5 Earth ponies and had a strong immunity to magic. I remember the look on the face of one Solar Pony as he wailed on me with his strongest magic, but I didn't even flinch. He kept that look as I removed his head from his neck. Good times, Solar scum. Once that was done, the scientist looked over my life signs. One of them asked me to show off my electricity, and I did what I was told. Lightning crackled off my hoof. I suppose the irony of me being born with an electric blue coat shouldn't have been lost on me. The scientist seemed satisfied, and then checked my teeth. I opened wide so he could check if they were as sharp as ever. He placed a piece of metal inside my mouth and I bit through it with a single bite. Finally, he wanted me draw my blades. Quick as a flash, two dark blue blades shot out from the side of my forelegs. I grunted in pain as the blue blades shot through my skin and out through my coat. They were curved like moons, and like my teeth they were sharp enough to get through armour. In short, I was the ultimate killing machine.

The scientist was happy enough to continue setting the lid to be lowered onto me when we were interrupted by none other than my mother, the true heir of Equestria, Princess Luna. Or as she recently referred to herself, Nightmare Moon. The scientists immediately bowed and my mother told them to rise.

"I will have a moment with my son before I battle my sister. Leave us." They did as they were told, quickly heading out of the white room. My mother slowly approached me and cupped my cheek in her hoof. She gently brushed my black mane in a sign of motherly affection.

"I am sorry. I know you wish to fight with us, but if I fall…"

"You will not fall, Mother," I interrupted pridefully.

"…If I fall, it will be up to you if my sister manages to kill me. You must lead my armies and destroy Celestia, then you shall be a king, or a prince if you so desire."

"I have always preferred the title 'Mister.' It always had a sort of ring to it." Luna let out a small chuckle. I saw something though, a sort of sadness in her eyes. I was never very good with emotions. "What ails you, mother?"

"Not even the death of your wife deterred you."

"It was an arranged marriage, Mother. I knew her for a week." I showed little pity for the mare. It gave me the title "Mr." though, so I could not complain. Mother shook her head.

"You have always been an odd one, child. Always showing disdain for royal titles like Prince or King, I guess that's why they call you a Stallion of the ponies, 'Mr' Carnage." She managed to say this in a motherly sort of way. She showed this side to me and only me, and wouldn't dare let a soldier see her like this. Anytime she wasn't with me, she would speak in the Royal Canterlot Voice of old. "Maybe when this is over you can live as a pony should. Although you do have my cat like eyes, let that forever mark you as my son, but all of Equestria must accept the night first." Luna leaned in to kiss my forehead. "Goodnight, my little Carnage. May you have sweet dreams of eternal night." The lid closed and my consciousness began to fade.

It would be my mother's last battle for a thousand years.


1000 years later…

My eyes slowly started to open, but they quickly closed as I was blinded by the harsh light of the sun… Wait, the sun!? I forced my eyes open and looked around as best as I could. The steel buckles that held me down suddenly released me, and I fell face first onto the stone floor. That wasn't right either; the floor in the lab was tiled, not made of stone. The floor was now yellow and sandy, as if time had worn it away. There were hooves near my face. I looked up and a sandy coated Pegasus with a black and grey mane was looking down at me in surprise. Judging by her hat, she seemed to be some sort of explorer.

"Who are you?" She asked in a curious voice. She looked me over again, and her eyes widened at my unusual eyes and teeth. "Scratch that. What are you?" I didn't like that. I wasn't some freak show for this bitch. I found my energy returning and used it to quickly jump up from the floor and grab her around the throat. I told her who I was.

"My name is Mr. Carnage, bitch! Now where is my mother!?"

Every story must has a beginning.

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